I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s03e14 Episode Script
Jeannie Goes Honolulu
[.]
Oh, a trip.
A trip, a trip.
I'm so excited! I'm so excited.
Gosh, I've never been so excited in my life.
Where are we going? The North Pole.
Oh, the North Pole! The North Pole! Yeah, it's a survival mission.
You better take along a lot of warm clothes.
The last reading was 65 below zero.
Ooh.
Oh, 65.
Yeah.
And it's the winds you have to worry about.
Sometimes they get up to a hundred miles an hour.
Cut right through you.
Hundred miles an hour? Yeah, things get so cold, your ears drop off sometimes.
Brr.
Ears drop off? Master would you mind very much if I did not go with you? Oh, well, I I kind of looked forward to you coming along, Jeannie.
I I am very fond of my ears.
Well, I'm gonna miss you.
Oh.
And I will miss you too.
I will go get your earmuffs.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, okay.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[LAUGHS.]
Honolulu, here we come.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Beautiful, huh, Roge? Oh Oh Oh, beautiful.
Oh.
I can't wait to get down on that beach with all those beautiful girls.
Yeah, we're here to do a little work too, you know.
That's what I mean.
Let's go to work.
We don't have to report until tomorrow.
Yeah, I wish I could have brought Jeannie.
And you brought Jeannie? Ho-ho.
That's like the Titanic bringing along its own iceberg.
Look at that view.
Is that something, huh? Do you realize how high up we were? Well, here's the beach.
There's the girls.
ROGER: You look at that.
Do you see that? TONY: Huh? I can't believe that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, lookit.
This is going to be a fun trip, I tell you.
Oh, what a hunting ground this is going to be.
Oh, I'm gonna take two of those, one of those, four of those, about five of those Roger, sit down, will you? Check your watch.
I'll bet you in 60 seconds, we will have every one of these girls swarming around us like Like a bunch of lemmings.
Uh, Roger, I got work to do.
I'll bet you 5 bucks.
All right, 5 bucks.
Ah, you're on.
Five bucks.
Watch this.
[CLEARS THROAT, WHISTLES.]
[SIGHS.]
Just look at that moon! Look at that moon.
Roger, will Will you sit down? You take the dark side.
I'll take the light.
Just the two of us are going to be going 100,000 miles into space, touching the stars.
Star-touching.
Do you think it's sunstroke? Moonstroke.
Let's get out of here before he goes into orbit.
Hey, wait a minute.
That's Tony Nelson, the astronaut.
Wait, it can't be.
And me too.
That is Tony Nelson.
Oh.
Hi, aren't you Major Nelson? Oh, yes.
Yes.
I've been dying to meet you.
[CHUCKLES.]
May I have your autograph? I don't have any paper, but you could write on my back.
I won't wash.
I'm Eleanor, and I'm at the hotel.
I'm free for dinner if you are.
I'm free for breakfast.
[LAUGHS.]
Well My father owns most of it.
Yeah.
Well, I tell you, I This is the famous Major Nelson, And I'm the famous Roger Healey.
Oh, yes, this is Roger Healey.
We're gonna be here a whole week.
And, uh, there's enough of us to go around for everybody.
Just give us your addresses and your names.
We can work out a schedule.
It's getting awfully crowded around here.
Why don't we go inside? Yeah, let's go.
We'll all go inside.
Uh, look, I don't know if I can make it.
Maybe if you all would put your names down here, and I can I could have breakfast with you Wait a minute.
I'm here.
Oh, I won the $5 anyway.
I think I'll take that money and join a pen pal club.
It's wonderful here.
Oh, Daddy.
Where? My father, right over there.
[INAUDIBLE SPEECH.]
Admiral Drucker? That's your father? Yes, he is.
[CHANTING IN FOREIGN DIALECT.]
[GASPS.]
Ooh! The North Pole?! Mmm! Say, I have a marvelous idea.
[CHUCKLES.]
So do I.
We're going to dinner tonight, aren't we? Mm-hm.
Tonight, tomorrow night and the next No.
No? Well, uh, this The There's no sense in wasting any time.
Why don't you go into the, uh Uh, restaurant, and make a reservation for the table tonight? I'm all full of oil.
But Tony I'll be waiting for you right here.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hi, Jeannie.
What are you doing here? I decided to come to the North Pole so I could suffer with you.
Yea Well, you see Even though icy winds went through me at 100 miles an hour.
Yeah, well, a funny thing happened on the way to the North Pole.
And my ears fell off.
Now, I can explain that.
You see, I Jeannie.
What do you think you're doing? I want to make sure you do not catch pneumonia, master.
Yeah, but Wait a minute.
This thing won't come off.
I know.
Enjoy yourself, master.
Now, wait a minute Major Nelson.
Oh, yes, sir.
Hi.
That's a parka.
It's either that or he's grown all that hair.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Would you mind explaining what you're doing in a parka on Waikiki Beach in July? Yes.
Well? Well, it's a It's a Well, I It's a new method of weight control, sir.
Uh, you see, the perspiration builds up to a certain level Get out of that outfit now, major.
You're making a spectacle of yourself.
I'm trying here.
It Well? I'd I'd better go up to my room.
Yes.
Do that.
Tell me, darling, wouldn't you call that abnormal behavior pattern? No.
I think it's kooky.
Oh Hi.
Hi, Jeannie.
I like the North Pole.
I'm sorry, Jeannie.
I shouldn't have deceived you.
Oh.
Did you deceive me, master? Yeah, and I I'm sorry about that.
I'll just face the court-martial.
What court-martial? Shh! Well, it doesn't matter anymore.
Th They can only give me five or 10 years in prison.
My secret mission No! I did not know you were on a secret mission.
When I saw you with that girl, I thought that you Well I will never distrust you again, master.
Who is that girl? Uh, that's the Princess Maja.
Oil.
Oil? Uh Yea Oh, yes, her father controls all the oil in the Middle East.
That's why I have to have dinner with her tonight and tomorrow night But I do not Shh.
See that dangerous-looking man she's talking to now? TONY: That's Ali Mustafa.
He's after the oil.
He is? He and his men tried to kidnap her last night.
JEANNIE: They tried to kidnap her? That's terrible.
But I still do not understand why you have to take her Sh.
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, I am sorry.
Did I hurt you? Oh, no, I'm I'm Uh Oh, you're Don Ho.
Yes, but never mind that.
Are you? Are you all right? Oh, yes, I'm fine.
I just saw your act the other night.
You were marvelous.
Thank you.
We're there every night for pretty girls like you.
See the other man she's talking to now? Yes.
That's Rubulkien the Deadly.
The Deadly? Jeannie, this place is a hotbed of intrigue.
One false move and: I did not know.
Jeannie I want you to do something for me.
Oh, anything, master.
Go home.
Oh, no! Master? Master, no.
I love intrigue.
I will stay and help you.
Yeah But I I I know that.
But I really don't need any of your help.
I have everything under control.
You see, if I can see the princess tonight and tomorrow night and the next night, and Everything will work out exactly the way I want it to.
Do you think I would leave you at the mercy of those kidnappers and Rubulkien the Deadly? Yes, I know.
But I don't You said you need oil? Yes.
Then I will watch Rubulkien for you, and you shall have your oil.
[CLAPS.]
No.
No, really, I Congratulations, Major Nelson.
You struck oil in the middle of Waikiki Beach.
Are you sure you're not gonna have a problem with Jeannie? No.
Not only is she gonna allow me to go to dinner with Eleanor, she's gonna insist upon it.
Well, you don't know Jeannie.
[CHUCKLES.]
You keep forgetting I'm smarter than she is.
Master.
Uh Yes.
I have been following Rubulkien.
And you would not believe this but he put a strange mask on his face, and took a spear and went under the water.
[SNAPS.]
I was afraid of that.
Afraid of that? Well, that's a snorkel.
They use that when they go underwater Yeah, you're right, Roge.
Snorkel El Hassan.
That's his cousin.
Probably have a secret meeting place underwater.
A secret meeting place underwater? Why would? You're right again.
I'm gonna have to have dinner with the princess tonight, but how am I gonna keep an eye on Rubulkien? Rubulkien? The Deadly.
Oh, that Rubulkien.
Do not worry, master.
I will keep an eye on him for you.
Would somebody mind telling me what's going on? Well, he does not know why he is here? He does not know about the oil? And And And Ali Mustafa? I told you, it's top-secret.
Nobody knows about it except me.
[WHISPERING.]
Oh.
I am sorry, master.
Yeah.
Me too.
Sorry I eavesdropped.
I'm counting on you, Jeannie.
Yes, master.
[LAUGHS.]
Didn't I tell you I can handle it? Yeah.
That was good.
Yeah, you were good.
Uh, Tony Hm? If I promise not to say anything, would? Would you mind telling me about our secret oil mission.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
This is an adorable place, isn't it? Well, if you like adorable things, we'll get along fine.
[LAUGHS.]
Would you care to order now? Hey, look who's here.
All the way from [STOMPS FOOT.]
Ooh! Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you kidding? Don't you recognize who? Roge.
I'm sorry.
Wait.
But you can't Oh! Oh, yeah.
Let's eat.
I'm hungry.
What are you doing here? I am keeping an eye on Mr.
Rubulkien.
Good.
Good.
Uh, what would you like to start with? Oh, it really doesn't matter.
Tony, I was thinking, do you really have to leave Sunday? Oh, yeah.
Sunday, everything ought to be.
[MOUTHING.]
uh Uh well, you know, s-settled.
Heh.
Uh Uh, no, I I don't know.
What do you mean by settled? [MOUTHING.]
Uh Well, I The That talk I'm gonna have with your father.
Oh, Tony.
No.
Not now.
Oh! Not here.
No.
Oh.
Oh.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I must go now.
Heh.
But I will be right back.
[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Uh, it's, uh The service is really not Excuse me.
Yes? Oh, yes, ma'am.
Aren't you Major Nelson, the astronaut? Uh, yes.
May I have your autograph? Of course.
To Natalie.
"To Natalie.
" Where are you from, Natalie? Chicago.
Major Healey? Oh, yes.
Could I? Oh, I'd love to.
I just happen to have a pen right there.
It's just, you know, I'll sign that Thank you.
Yeah.
That's the one.
I My Uh, maybe we can, uh Yes? Yes? Major Nelson, may I have your autograph? To Frances.
"To Frances"? To Frances.
Frances, my? Can I have my? There you are, Frances.
- Pen back? - Oh, thank you.
Ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No.
Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Uh Well, maybe I could visit you in Chicago.
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey.
Let's Let's get out of here.
Yeah, let's [DRUM ROLL.]
Ladies and gentlemen, at this time we're very proud to present Hawaii's favorite son: The wild, unpredictable Mr.
Don Ho.
[ALL APPLAUD.]
[BAND PLAYS.]
Thank you very much, everybody.
If your pretty little girl Leaves you hung up Standing on the corner Of 5th and Main She left you standing there With a pair of movie tickets Tear up the tickets Brother, don't complain 'Cause it ain't 'Cause it ain't No, it ain't No, it ain't ALL: Ain't no big thing There you go.
Ain't no big thing.
ALL: Ain't no big thing, brother When things ain't looking up Ain't no big thing When there ain't no coffee To fill the cup Oh, the good times Are coming Let them roll Let them roll Now, if your ma-in-law Starts getting huffy A-walking around your pad With a long face You just go out And you buy her A one-way passage And you tell her Go join the astronauts In outer space 'Cause it ain't 'Cause it ain't No, it ain't No, it ain't ALL: Ain't no big thing Ain't no big thing, brother When things ain't looking up Ain't no big thing When there ain't no coffee To fill the cup Oh, the good times Are coming Let them roll Let them roll now Well, now, there ain't No big thing, brother, when [WHISPERING.]
Master? Yes? They call Rubulkien the Deadly "Don Ho.
" Yeah.
That's his alias.
His alias? His cover.
Oh.
He does it very well.
Thank you.
[SONG ENDS.]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS.]
[MOUTHS.]
Thank you.
[SLOW SONG BEGINS.]
I could fly like a bird On the wings of the wind I played in the sun With a joy deep within I have laughter as a toy And a sweet for my tooth In the beautiful days Of my youth Everyone that I met Was a friend Not a foe Fears that I learned Way back then I didn't know Not one deed meant unkind Or one thought uncouth In the beautiful day Of my youth How time quickly passed The years traveled on Hopes and the dreams Have diminished and gone Now the child that I face How familiar he seems He's wearing my eyes And he's living my dreams Oh, my innocent child I will spare the untruth In the magical days Oh, sweet candy days Beautiful days Of your youth How time quickly flies Years travel on Hopes and the dreams Have diminished and gone Now the child that I face How familiar he seems Wearing my eyes And living my dreams Oh, my innocent child I will spare the untruth In the magical days Those sweet candy days The beautiful days Of your youth Run, child, run See these days Of my youth Laugh, child, laugh Like the wind In the days Sing, child, sing Of my youth The days Of my youth [AUDIENCE APPLAUDS.]
[INAUDIBLE WORDS.]
Thank you very much.
Uh, I I think we ought to be going.
Yes, I think we ought to be going.
Okay.
Uh, waiter.
Uh, could I have the check, please? Yeah.
Here's the check.
Oh.
Uh Cigars, cigarettes.
Cigars, cigarettes.
Where are you going? The princess wanted to leave.
I better keep an eye on her.
Oh, very well.
I will keep an eye on Rubulkien.
Good.
Good.
Do you like my disguise, master? Shh! Shh! Yeah.
I don't think anybody would ever recognize you in a million years.
JEANNIE: Are you going to get what you want from the princess? Princess? Yeah.
Yeah, everything's going fine.
I think by By next Sunday I'll have control of all the oil in the Middle East.
Oil? If you need any help, master, I will be happy Shh! I'll do it myself.
You just keep an eye on Rubulkien.
Yes, master.
Okay.
Now, she may be getting suspicious.
Now, I better get going.
See you later.
Good luck with the oil, mas [QUIETLY.]
Ter.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
Cigars, cigarettes.
And this is his vacation.
Yeah, well, I just finished getting dressed, okay? Yeah, I'll be down in a minute.
Good morning, Major Healey.
Oh.
Hi, Jeannie.
Where's Major Nelson? Out with the admiral's daughter.
Oh.
He's out with the admiral With the princess.
You mean the admiral's daughter.
She is not a princess.
Not a full-fledged princess.
That means there is no oil.
There's a little oil.
And there's Ooh! I didn't say there was no My master has done it again! Just Now, relax.
The admiral ordered him to take her out.
Oh-ho.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Sorry.
Yeah.
ELEANOR: Oh, God.
Wait! [BOTH LAUGH.]
You know, it's been so long since I've ridden.
I seem to have forgotten how.
Oh, yeah? Well, just remember, you're the master, and the horse is your Your friend.
Right.
He has to know who's on top.
Right.
Just hold it like that, and, uh Well, go ahead.
I'll follow you.
Okay.
[.]
[CLAPS, SILENTLY LAUGHS.]
Master.
Ah! Out, out.
Oh, but all I did was try to help you.
I did All you did was embarrass me and Eleanor and Admiral Drucker, and And, uh But I do not want to Now, out.
Go on.
I want to be alone, Jeannie.
Absolutely alone.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Positive.
Very well then.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[INAUDIBLE WORDS.]
BAND: Ain't no big thing DON HO: All together now ALL: Ain't no big thing, brother When things ain't looking up Ain't no big thing When there ain't no coffee To fill the cup No, the good times are coming Let 'em roll Let 'em roll, baby DON HO: Ain't no big thing, gang ALL: Well, there ain't No big thing, brother When things Ain't looking up Ain't no big thing When there ain't no coffee To fill the cup No, the good times are coming Let them roll Let them roll [.]
Oh, a trip.
A trip, a trip.
I'm so excited! I'm so excited.
Gosh, I've never been so excited in my life.
Where are we going? The North Pole.
Oh, the North Pole! The North Pole! Yeah, it's a survival mission.
You better take along a lot of warm clothes.
The last reading was 65 below zero.
Ooh.
Oh, 65.
Yeah.
And it's the winds you have to worry about.
Sometimes they get up to a hundred miles an hour.
Cut right through you.
Hundred miles an hour? Yeah, things get so cold, your ears drop off sometimes.
Brr.
Ears drop off? Master would you mind very much if I did not go with you? Oh, well, I I kind of looked forward to you coming along, Jeannie.
I I am very fond of my ears.
Well, I'm gonna miss you.
Oh.
And I will miss you too.
I will go get your earmuffs.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, okay.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[LAUGHS.]
Honolulu, here we come.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Beautiful, huh, Roge? Oh Oh Oh, beautiful.
Oh.
I can't wait to get down on that beach with all those beautiful girls.
Yeah, we're here to do a little work too, you know.
That's what I mean.
Let's go to work.
We don't have to report until tomorrow.
Yeah, I wish I could have brought Jeannie.
And you brought Jeannie? Ho-ho.
That's like the Titanic bringing along its own iceberg.
Look at that view.
Is that something, huh? Do you realize how high up we were? Well, here's the beach.
There's the girls.
ROGER: You look at that.
Do you see that? TONY: Huh? I can't believe that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, lookit.
This is going to be a fun trip, I tell you.
Oh, what a hunting ground this is going to be.
Oh, I'm gonna take two of those, one of those, four of those, about five of those Roger, sit down, will you? Check your watch.
I'll bet you in 60 seconds, we will have every one of these girls swarming around us like Like a bunch of lemmings.
Uh, Roger, I got work to do.
I'll bet you 5 bucks.
All right, 5 bucks.
Ah, you're on.
Five bucks.
Watch this.
[CLEARS THROAT, WHISTLES.]
[SIGHS.]
Just look at that moon! Look at that moon.
Roger, will Will you sit down? You take the dark side.
I'll take the light.
Just the two of us are going to be going 100,000 miles into space, touching the stars.
Star-touching.
Do you think it's sunstroke? Moonstroke.
Let's get out of here before he goes into orbit.
Hey, wait a minute.
That's Tony Nelson, the astronaut.
Wait, it can't be.
And me too.
That is Tony Nelson.
Oh.
Hi, aren't you Major Nelson? Oh, yes.
Yes.
I've been dying to meet you.
[CHUCKLES.]
May I have your autograph? I don't have any paper, but you could write on my back.
I won't wash.
I'm Eleanor, and I'm at the hotel.
I'm free for dinner if you are.
I'm free for breakfast.
[LAUGHS.]
Well My father owns most of it.
Yeah.
Well, I tell you, I This is the famous Major Nelson, And I'm the famous Roger Healey.
Oh, yes, this is Roger Healey.
We're gonna be here a whole week.
And, uh, there's enough of us to go around for everybody.
Just give us your addresses and your names.
We can work out a schedule.
It's getting awfully crowded around here.
Why don't we go inside? Yeah, let's go.
We'll all go inside.
Uh, look, I don't know if I can make it.
Maybe if you all would put your names down here, and I can I could have breakfast with you Wait a minute.
I'm here.
Oh, I won the $5 anyway.
I think I'll take that money and join a pen pal club.
It's wonderful here.
Oh, Daddy.
Where? My father, right over there.
[INAUDIBLE SPEECH.]
Admiral Drucker? That's your father? Yes, he is.
[CHANTING IN FOREIGN DIALECT.]
[GASPS.]
Ooh! The North Pole?! Mmm! Say, I have a marvelous idea.
[CHUCKLES.]
So do I.
We're going to dinner tonight, aren't we? Mm-hm.
Tonight, tomorrow night and the next No.
No? Well, uh, this The There's no sense in wasting any time.
Why don't you go into the, uh Uh, restaurant, and make a reservation for the table tonight? I'm all full of oil.
But Tony I'll be waiting for you right here.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hi, Jeannie.
What are you doing here? I decided to come to the North Pole so I could suffer with you.
Yea Well, you see Even though icy winds went through me at 100 miles an hour.
Yeah, well, a funny thing happened on the way to the North Pole.
And my ears fell off.
Now, I can explain that.
You see, I Jeannie.
What do you think you're doing? I want to make sure you do not catch pneumonia, master.
Yeah, but Wait a minute.
This thing won't come off.
I know.
Enjoy yourself, master.
Now, wait a minute Major Nelson.
Oh, yes, sir.
Hi.
That's a parka.
It's either that or he's grown all that hair.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Would you mind explaining what you're doing in a parka on Waikiki Beach in July? Yes.
Well? Well, it's a It's a Well, I It's a new method of weight control, sir.
Uh, you see, the perspiration builds up to a certain level Get out of that outfit now, major.
You're making a spectacle of yourself.
I'm trying here.
It Well? I'd I'd better go up to my room.
Yes.
Do that.
Tell me, darling, wouldn't you call that abnormal behavior pattern? No.
I think it's kooky.
Oh Hi.
Hi, Jeannie.
I like the North Pole.
I'm sorry, Jeannie.
I shouldn't have deceived you.
Oh.
Did you deceive me, master? Yeah, and I I'm sorry about that.
I'll just face the court-martial.
What court-martial? Shh! Well, it doesn't matter anymore.
Th They can only give me five or 10 years in prison.
My secret mission No! I did not know you were on a secret mission.
When I saw you with that girl, I thought that you Well I will never distrust you again, master.
Who is that girl? Uh, that's the Princess Maja.
Oil.
Oil? Uh Yea Oh, yes, her father controls all the oil in the Middle East.
That's why I have to have dinner with her tonight and tomorrow night But I do not Shh.
See that dangerous-looking man she's talking to now? TONY: That's Ali Mustafa.
He's after the oil.
He is? He and his men tried to kidnap her last night.
JEANNIE: They tried to kidnap her? That's terrible.
But I still do not understand why you have to take her Sh.
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, I am sorry.
Did I hurt you? Oh, no, I'm I'm Uh Oh, you're Don Ho.
Yes, but never mind that.
Are you? Are you all right? Oh, yes, I'm fine.
I just saw your act the other night.
You were marvelous.
Thank you.
We're there every night for pretty girls like you.
See the other man she's talking to now? Yes.
That's Rubulkien the Deadly.
The Deadly? Jeannie, this place is a hotbed of intrigue.
One false move and: I did not know.
Jeannie I want you to do something for me.
Oh, anything, master.
Go home.
Oh, no! Master? Master, no.
I love intrigue.
I will stay and help you.
Yeah But I I I know that.
But I really don't need any of your help.
I have everything under control.
You see, if I can see the princess tonight and tomorrow night and the next night, and Everything will work out exactly the way I want it to.
Do you think I would leave you at the mercy of those kidnappers and Rubulkien the Deadly? Yes, I know.
But I don't You said you need oil? Yes.
Then I will watch Rubulkien for you, and you shall have your oil.
[CLAPS.]
No.
No, really, I Congratulations, Major Nelson.
You struck oil in the middle of Waikiki Beach.
Are you sure you're not gonna have a problem with Jeannie? No.
Not only is she gonna allow me to go to dinner with Eleanor, she's gonna insist upon it.
Well, you don't know Jeannie.
[CHUCKLES.]
You keep forgetting I'm smarter than she is.
Master.
Uh Yes.
I have been following Rubulkien.
And you would not believe this but he put a strange mask on his face, and took a spear and went under the water.
[SNAPS.]
I was afraid of that.
Afraid of that? Well, that's a snorkel.
They use that when they go underwater Yeah, you're right, Roge.
Snorkel El Hassan.
That's his cousin.
Probably have a secret meeting place underwater.
A secret meeting place underwater? Why would? You're right again.
I'm gonna have to have dinner with the princess tonight, but how am I gonna keep an eye on Rubulkien? Rubulkien? The Deadly.
Oh, that Rubulkien.
Do not worry, master.
I will keep an eye on him for you.
Would somebody mind telling me what's going on? Well, he does not know why he is here? He does not know about the oil? And And And Ali Mustafa? I told you, it's top-secret.
Nobody knows about it except me.
[WHISPERING.]
Oh.
I am sorry, master.
Yeah.
Me too.
Sorry I eavesdropped.
I'm counting on you, Jeannie.
Yes, master.
[LAUGHS.]
Didn't I tell you I can handle it? Yeah.
That was good.
Yeah, you were good.
Uh, Tony Hm? If I promise not to say anything, would? Would you mind telling me about our secret oil mission.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
This is an adorable place, isn't it? Well, if you like adorable things, we'll get along fine.
[LAUGHS.]
Would you care to order now? Hey, look who's here.
All the way from [STOMPS FOOT.]
Ooh! Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you kidding? Don't you recognize who? Roge.
I'm sorry.
Wait.
But you can't Oh! Oh, yeah.
Let's eat.
I'm hungry.
What are you doing here? I am keeping an eye on Mr.
Rubulkien.
Good.
Good.
Uh, what would you like to start with? Oh, it really doesn't matter.
Tony, I was thinking, do you really have to leave Sunday? Oh, yeah.
Sunday, everything ought to be.
[MOUTHING.]
uh Uh well, you know, s-settled.
Heh.
Uh Uh, no, I I don't know.
What do you mean by settled? [MOUTHING.]
Uh Well, I The That talk I'm gonna have with your father.
Oh, Tony.
No.
Not now.
Oh! Not here.
No.
Oh.
Oh.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I must go now.
Heh.
But I will be right back.
[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Uh, it's, uh The service is really not Excuse me.
Yes? Oh, yes, ma'am.
Aren't you Major Nelson, the astronaut? Uh, yes.
May I have your autograph? Of course.
To Natalie.
"To Natalie.
" Where are you from, Natalie? Chicago.
Major Healey? Oh, yes.
Could I? Oh, I'd love to.
I just happen to have a pen right there.
It's just, you know, I'll sign that Thank you.
Yeah.
That's the one.
I My Uh, maybe we can, uh Yes? Yes? Major Nelson, may I have your autograph? To Frances.
"To Frances"? To Frances.
Frances, my? Can I have my? There you are, Frances.
- Pen back? - Oh, thank you.
Ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No.
Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Uh Well, maybe I could visit you in Chicago.
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey.
Let's Let's get out of here.
Yeah, let's [DRUM ROLL.]
Ladies and gentlemen, at this time we're very proud to present Hawaii's favorite son: The wild, unpredictable Mr.
Don Ho.
[ALL APPLAUD.]
[BAND PLAYS.]
Thank you very much, everybody.
If your pretty little girl Leaves you hung up Standing on the corner Of 5th and Main She left you standing there With a pair of movie tickets Tear up the tickets Brother, don't complain 'Cause it ain't 'Cause it ain't No, it ain't No, it ain't ALL: Ain't no big thing There you go.
Ain't no big thing.
ALL: Ain't no big thing, brother When things ain't looking up Ain't no big thing When there ain't no coffee To fill the cup Oh, the good times Are coming Let them roll Let them roll Now, if your ma-in-law Starts getting huffy A-walking around your pad With a long face You just go out And you buy her A one-way passage And you tell her Go join the astronauts In outer space 'Cause it ain't 'Cause it ain't No, it ain't No, it ain't ALL: Ain't no big thing Ain't no big thing, brother When things ain't looking up Ain't no big thing When there ain't no coffee To fill the cup Oh, the good times Are coming Let them roll Let them roll now Well, now, there ain't No big thing, brother, when [WHISPERING.]
Master? Yes? They call Rubulkien the Deadly "Don Ho.
" Yeah.
That's his alias.
His alias? His cover.
Oh.
He does it very well.
Thank you.
[SONG ENDS.]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS.]
[MOUTHS.]
Thank you.
[SLOW SONG BEGINS.]
I could fly like a bird On the wings of the wind I played in the sun With a joy deep within I have laughter as a toy And a sweet for my tooth In the beautiful days Of my youth Everyone that I met Was a friend Not a foe Fears that I learned Way back then I didn't know Not one deed meant unkind Or one thought uncouth In the beautiful day Of my youth How time quickly passed The years traveled on Hopes and the dreams Have diminished and gone Now the child that I face How familiar he seems He's wearing my eyes And he's living my dreams Oh, my innocent child I will spare the untruth In the magical days Oh, sweet candy days Beautiful days Of your youth How time quickly flies Years travel on Hopes and the dreams Have diminished and gone Now the child that I face How familiar he seems Wearing my eyes And living my dreams Oh, my innocent child I will spare the untruth In the magical days Those sweet candy days The beautiful days Of your youth Run, child, run See these days Of my youth Laugh, child, laugh Like the wind In the days Sing, child, sing Of my youth The days Of my youth [AUDIENCE APPLAUDS.]
[INAUDIBLE WORDS.]
Thank you very much.
Uh, I I think we ought to be going.
Yes, I think we ought to be going.
Okay.
Uh, waiter.
Uh, could I have the check, please? Yeah.
Here's the check.
Oh.
Uh Cigars, cigarettes.
Cigars, cigarettes.
Where are you going? The princess wanted to leave.
I better keep an eye on her.
Oh, very well.
I will keep an eye on Rubulkien.
Good.
Good.
Do you like my disguise, master? Shh! Shh! Yeah.
I don't think anybody would ever recognize you in a million years.
JEANNIE: Are you going to get what you want from the princess? Princess? Yeah.
Yeah, everything's going fine.
I think by By next Sunday I'll have control of all the oil in the Middle East.
Oil? If you need any help, master, I will be happy Shh! I'll do it myself.
You just keep an eye on Rubulkien.
Yes, master.
Okay.
Now, she may be getting suspicious.
Now, I better get going.
See you later.
Good luck with the oil, mas [QUIETLY.]
Ter.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
Cigars, cigarettes.
And this is his vacation.
Yeah, well, I just finished getting dressed, okay? Yeah, I'll be down in a minute.
Good morning, Major Healey.
Oh.
Hi, Jeannie.
Where's Major Nelson? Out with the admiral's daughter.
Oh.
He's out with the admiral With the princess.
You mean the admiral's daughter.
She is not a princess.
Not a full-fledged princess.
That means there is no oil.
There's a little oil.
And there's Ooh! I didn't say there was no My master has done it again! Just Now, relax.
The admiral ordered him to take her out.
Oh-ho.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Sorry.
Yeah.
ELEANOR: Oh, God.
Wait! [BOTH LAUGH.]
You know, it's been so long since I've ridden.
I seem to have forgotten how.
Oh, yeah? Well, just remember, you're the master, and the horse is your Your friend.
Right.
He has to know who's on top.
Right.
Just hold it like that, and, uh Well, go ahead.
I'll follow you.
Okay.
[.]
[CLAPS, SILENTLY LAUGHS.]
Master.
Ah! Out, out.
Oh, but all I did was try to help you.
I did All you did was embarrass me and Eleanor and Admiral Drucker, and And, uh But I do not want to Now, out.
Go on.
I want to be alone, Jeannie.
Absolutely alone.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Positive.
Very well then.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[INAUDIBLE WORDS.]
BAND: Ain't no big thing DON HO: All together now ALL: Ain't no big thing, brother When things ain't looking up Ain't no big thing When there ain't no coffee To fill the cup No, the good times are coming Let 'em roll Let 'em roll, baby DON HO: Ain't no big thing, gang ALL: Well, there ain't No big thing, brother When things Ain't looking up Ain't no big thing When there ain't no coffee To fill the cup No, the good times are coming Let them roll Let them roll [.]