Justice League Episode Scripts

N/A - Double Date

But how come when I make the scones, they don't got that good flavor like yours, Tony? Do I have to tell you again how you gotta add the orange zest, Cecil? You gonna make me give you the recipe again, huh? You're killing me here, Cecil.
Killing me.
I heard something.
Shut up, Cecil.
I'm trying to listen.
Why you gotta be so mean all the time, Tony? I'm always nice to you.
You're killing me, Cecil.
Steven Mandragora.
Been a while.
I've changed some since we met last.
But you haven't changed.
All these years you've been building your empire with thievery and murder.
But it ends tonight.
Huntress! J'onn, I- You were warned.
You were told to stay away from Mandragora.
You have violated my direct orders.
You've crossed the line.
You've been watching me? Given what occurred tonight, I'd say it was a wise precaution.
You know what Mandragora did.
And I almost had him.
He should have been there, but someone tipped him.
You did it.
I had Mandragora moved, yes.
For his own protection.
And yours.
All right, J'onn, so I get some Justice League demerits.
Just spare me the lecture.
I can find him without your help.
You misunderstand.
Tonight was a test, and you failed.
Pack your things, Huntress.
You're out.
You'll need to turn in your identification card immediately.
I hope you choke on it.
Oh, Cadmus, Cadmus, wherefore art thou, Cadmus? I know there's a connection.
Don't think I won't find it.
Maybe you're not looking in the right direction.
You're the League's data guy.
The conspiracy buff, right? Wildcat says you're a nut job.
He says the same thing about you.
He's right.
Bored now.
You must be the ugliest guy of all time, Question, hiding your face like that.
Go away.
Don't touch that.
I had no idea that the Girl Scouts were responsible for the crop circle phenomenon.
Few people do.
Few even think to ask the question.
Well, I have a question for you, then.
Do you know what apophenia is? Apophenia.
The tendency to see connections where none exist.
Did you come here just to make fun of my work? No, Q.
I came to help you.
And let's just keep the rest of the League out of it, shall we? Here's the deal.
I tell you what I know about Cadmus immediately after you help me find out what rock Steven Mandragora's hiding under.
I believe that individual passed beyond the veil at the hands of one Tommy Monahan, who himself later mistakenly fell onto a train track, I am told.
Now, why is it that most of your criminal acquaintances seem to be deceased? Perhaps my friends are simply prone to misfortune, Agent Faraday.
My job is to prep you to testify before the grand jury, Mr.
You're gonna have to come up with a lot more than some mook who may or may not be around anymore, if you want immunity from prosecution.
I am doing my best.
You can't blame me for being nervous.
I have enemies everywhere.
Even Justice League enemies.
Besides I am ravaged by hunger.
Feed me, and I shall squeal on all manner of former associates.
Speaking of squealing, Black Canary, I notice you can't take your eyes off of me.
One can hardly blame you.
Perhaps after Agent Faraday helps absolve me of my alleged crimes, I could put you in a cage and have you sing for me.
Listen, you giant tub of-- Green Arrow, may I remind you that you're here strictly in a security capacity? Yes.
Why don't you go and fetch me another four platters of oysters, like a good little leprechaun? I'm sure your girlfriend and I will have much to discuss while you're gone.
I like my oysters sweet, by the way.
Sweet and juicy.
Let him talk, Arrow.
With all the enemies he's made, he never knows if he's eating his last meal.
Al right, Q, you said you'd help me.
Where are they keeping Mandragora? Well? Oh.
You did not just hang up on me.
Figured I'd cut out the middleman.
Oh, baby doll.
And just for the record, I usually prefer my dates to have a face.
Five minutes.
That's all I need! Just give me five minutes.
I'll teach this pompous jerk some manners.
Listen, Justice League or not, you will sit down and behave! You heard what he said! Oh, dear.
Did I offend you somehow, little man? My most sincere apologies.
Faraday's right, Arrow.
Nothing this guy can say is gonna affect me one way or the other.
Is that right? Well, then, perhaps you won't mind explaining how a lovely young lady like you ends up with a nobody like him.
Were all the real men in the Justice League already taken? I hope you're proud of yourself.
Now we have to do guard duty from outside.
Hope I'm proud of myself? You're the one that punched him.
Yeah, but-- Ow! It was like punching a brick wall.
There's no fat on that man.
Will you let me look? I think you'll live to punch suspects another day, pretty bird.
Let's find some higher ground.
This is ridiculous.
I can't believe we're going to all this trouble to protect a killer.
That's how it goes, Dinah.
They let a bad guy go free, he rats out dozens of others.
It's not perfect.
No, it isn't.
Makes you wonder how his victims would feel if they knew.
You gonna get all serious on me? You bet.
More cops.
So? The more, the merrier.
Someone else too.
Who are these guys? I haven't seen them here befo-- Keep your big shirt on, Mr.
They're checking them out.
You check them out.
That's your job, do it.
Okay, guys.
Let's see some ID.
Nice night for a distraction, ain't it? You're not going in that house, Huntress.
That, I promise.
I'm here on League business, Canary.
That's not what J'onn said.
We just called him.
Okay, that didn't work.
Maybe this will.
Why are you doing this, Question? You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
And here I heard you were some kind of brilliant fighter.
You heard right.
I strongly advise you to stay down.
These impact arrows are nonlethal, but they hurta lot.
He's gone.
Mandragora is gone! Do you have any idea what you've done? Yes.
I hunted a murderer.
A murderer the League's protecting.
We have no time for this.
We've got to ask the Question what he picked up and put in his pocket.
Me? Don't make me ask again.
You mean this.
It's a storage key.
For a place down by the train station.
All right, you two stay here.
Don't make me sic Black Canary on you.
You've only seen her nice side so far.
Ow! What was that for? All that crazy mystery man mojo, and you couldn't even pick up a clue without being seen? The key wasn't the clue.
The key was mine.
Now, this list of container ship arrivals I palmed while they were yelling at you that's the clue.
I don't get it.
Why aren't we on our way to the train station? Shh.
Because I know when I'm being conned.
You're cute when you're an insufferable smarty-pants.
You're even smarter than they say.
Smart enough to realize you don't know jack about Cadmus.
I needed your help.
Talk to me about Mandragora.
What did he do to you? You wouldn't understand.
Wouldn't understand what? That he worked for your father, Franco Bertinelli.
Or that your father was himself a powerful crime boss? You were just a child.
You certainly didn't understand what your father did for a living.
You just knew that when he talked, people listened.
That he always had his guys around him to do whatever he said.
And that the most frightening one was Mandragora.
Looking into his eyes was like looking into an empty pit.
One terrible night, Mandragora decided he no longer wished to take orders.
Get behind me, Helena.
It'll be all right.
Your father hoped to protect you by hiding you in a closet.
He's coming! But you saw it all, Helena.
Steven Mandragora killed your parents while you watched helplessly.
Isn't that what happened? If you knew all that, then you probably know what I'm gonna do to Mandragora when I catch him.
So why help me? That is the question.
Somebody's following us.
Lose them.
Like airline luggage.
You're not supposed to drive when you're angry.
They're heading towards the waterfront.
Hang on.
It's so funny you think you have to tell me that.
Stop the car, Question.
Pull over! Stop following us, Canary.
Is that her? Give me that! Hey! You want a piece of me, blondie? Bring it.
This is so unnecessary.
Are we dead yet? No.
Are we dead yet? Look.
If we die, I promise, I'll let you know.
I see it.
Train! I see it! Whoops.
J'onn! Get us out of here.
Now! I can't believe you! I rebuilt that bike by hand! You're absolutely right.
I'm sorry I saved our lives.
And J'onn thinks Huntress is the unstable one.
Look, there are 100 ships leaving here a day.
If Mandragora's trying to get out of the country, how are we supposed to know which one he's on? What if he isn't hopping a freighter? What if he's playing a more subtle game? No more questions, okay? What are you saying? What if he's here to meet a freighter? As it happens, there's one coming in from his home country this very evening.
Come on.
That's him.
He's mine.
You take the two guards.
Ready? I'm really starting to dislike that woman.
I got your plate of oysters right here, jumbo.
Warned you.
Didn't anyone ever tell you, Mandragora? No one messes with the Justice League.
I've got special arrows too.
The pointy kind that'll go right through you.
Put her down.
Very well then.
Back to federal custody, I suppose.
Not this time.
Papa! Edgar! On my last trip to the old country, a rival criminal organization kidnapped my son.
It took me all this time to arrange his rescue.
Rest assured that his captors were taught the error of their ways.
Rest assured, I'm about to teach you the same lesson.
All I wanted was for my son and I to disappear together.
Get behind me, Edgar.
It will be all right.
Is this really what you want? No.
That's not what I want at all.
Mandragora never had any intention of cooperating with the prosecutors.
He was just stalling until his son arrived.
Their new identities were already in place.
Not to mention a Cayman Island account full of ill-gotten gains to finance their new lives.
You knew all along that kid was gonna be on that freighter.
I do my homework.
Then why go to all the trouble to help? Why risk your life for me? Because I like you.
Where are we going? Don't ask so many questions.
I'm sorry, but eww.