Justice League Episode Scripts

N/A - The Great Brain Robbery

Brainiac, you're in there.
I can almost feel you.
Abasing myself before Grodd, then running this unwieldy super-gang.
It's all been worth it if I can just free the only piece of you that remains.
Lex, don't talk to the rock.
Stay out of this, witch.
It makes no sense.
The smallest scrap of Brainiac should be sufficient to reconstitute him.
Don't worry, darling.
I'm sure it will be-- Unless Grodd is somehow preventing it.
What do you want, Luthor? How do I unlock the Brainiac code? You're a genius, figure it out.
Tell me, you leering, manipulative, knuckle-dragger, or I'll-- Lex, Lex.
You can't expect me to give up my only bargaining chip.
What's in it for me? When this is over, I'm going to sell your body for dog meat.
It must pain you to see me like this, after what we've been to one another.
My taste in boyfriends has evolved.
Wait, Lex.
You're the leader now.
You don't need to lock horns with him.
The only thing that matters now is a speck of information locked somewhere deep inside Grodd's thick skull.
Yes, okay.
So we break his head open and take it.
We don't think you've got what it takes to run the show.
You've been acting unbalanced, holed up in that lab, talking to yourself.
After Grodd tried to turn the world into apes, you can imagine how seriously we'd take something like that.
What are you going to do, make everybody bald? Maybe it's time for younger, smarter, more aggressive leadership.
Really? Yeah.
Why should any of us follow you? Because I'll show you how to make more money in one day than you've made in your entire lives.
Look, we know Grodd's running some kind of organized group.
I'm tired of just putting out fires.
We need to find his new secret society and take the fight to them.
Guys, I'm not arguing that.
There's just gotta be another way.
This is it.
When Grodd took control of your mind a couple of years ago, even though that connection was broken, he left a psychic resonance.
I can mystically access that resonance and trace it to Grodd, wherever he hides.
And when we do find Grodd, we'll likely find Luthor, Bizarro, and any number of wanted criminals.
No doubt, but I don't like strangers nosing around in my brain.
No offense, doc.
I assure you, I won't be reading your thoughts.
Your mind is simply a portal.
This really seems like it's more up J'onn's alley.
J'onn's not here.
Whoa! What do you say we go check with Batman? He's got clues.
You saw Batman's report.
Grodd covered all of his tracks.
We need to find him before he hurts anyone else, Flash.
This may be our only shot.
Man! Just be careful with my head.
It's where I keep all my one-liners.
Show me the mind of Gorilla Grodd.
You see how much I've learned from your mind-control technology.
Of course, I don't have your natural talent for the work, so my process is relatively crude.
Last chance.
Tell me what I want to know or I'll tear the information from your bleeding frontal lobe.
You're a technological cretin.
A sadistic child playing with power tools.
Do it.
My spell has already found a trace of Grodd's mental signature.
It should be a simple matter to follow it back to the source.
Ah! Wally.
Something's wrong.
That's not Flash's mind.
It's Lex Luthor.
What? What have you done to me? That's Luthor.
Beam me out of here or I'm going to vibrate these fingers and scramble your brains.
Do as he says.
We can't let Luthor get away with Flash's body.
He'll be unstoppable.
Yeah, I know.
If Luthor's mind is in Flash's body, where's Flash? Lex? Whoa.
You guys just stay back.
Hey, what happened to my voice? He's cooked his own brain.
Ah! Okay, something's really wrong here.
Lex, you don't look at all well.
I'm just a little wind-- Did you say, "Lex"? Psycho.
Attention, all decks.
This is a station-wide alert.
Lex Luthor has control of Flash's body.
Contain him at any cost.
Use whatever force is necessary.
I don't want him hurt.
That's not the problem.
I've tracked Flash's comm-link and ID badge.
Looks like he's hiding in a storage room.
Come on.
Just you and Fate.
There's something weird about this.
It was a trick.
It figures.
I've sent extra muscle to the backup teleport pads, GL.
You and Red Tornado cover the Javelin bay.
I must sequester myself and compile a new spell to reverse this mind switch.
Uh, how's it going? My darling, this is no time to show weakness.
The wolf is at the door.
Polaris is this far from open revolt.
He's treacherous.
I want to punish him, baby, so very badly.
Uh, just one question.
Do I know you? You need to rest.
You need to stop following me around so I can think for a second.
Okay, okay.
I'm trapped in a building full of supervillains, I've lost my powers and, for some reason, this creepy hot chick thinks I'm-- Lex Luthor.
Oh, that is just wrong.
This is life-or-death.
I'd better call for backup.
Ow! Duh! Lex, you all right? I'm fine.
No service.
Are we doing this or what? I told him you want to be alone.
We're supposed to be going over your big plan.
We are still pulling the job, right? Or was the whole thing just a bluff? Huh? I mean, right.
The big plan.
I'm all over the big plan.
So let's go do that.
What? You gonna wash your hands? No.
'Cause I'm evil.
Give it up, Luthor.
Get down! His vibrations create an unstable resonance.
Which is why the real Flash doesn't do it.
Luthor, the bay's locked down.
Those doors won't open.
Just watch.
The weapons won't fire inside the Javelin bay.
It's a safety feature.
Continue, GL.
I can counter this.
Talk to the crew, Lex.
You remind them who's boss.
We're waiting, Luthor.
My fellow bad guys.
I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my-- Lex Luthor's plan.
My villainous, villainous plan.
Question the plan at your peril.
Uh Any questions? We all get a cut, right? Watch your step, my evil minion.
You presume too much.
One of these days, you'll go too far.
Me got answer.
Do enlighten us.
Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational.
Am you Bizarro's mommy? What's his problem? Oh Come on! Wait, I got it.
You, uh, evil head guy.
Yeah? Tell me your part in this plan.
I don't have a part in this plan.
Pop quiz.
Everyone tell me their part in the plan.
Well, here's the way you gave it to us, this morning.
The recently reunited country of Kasnia has gone democratic and is joining the European Union.
As such, they're switching their currency from Kasnian crowns to euros.
In a few hours, nearly are being brought in to the Kasnian treasury.
So while Dr.
Polaris and Sinestro take the point, darling, you and I are in a transport nearby.
It's a simple smash-and-grab.
It's also gonna be the largest single robbery in history.
I mean, Lex Luthor is pleased.
Carry on.
Really, he's in terrific shape.
He only needs a little downtime before heist.
Rest in here, darling.
Hey, that's not restful.
Lex, you're having a difficult day.
Hm, if nothing else, I can at least learn the Flash's secret identity.
I have no idea who this is.
Baby, you are so different.
So attentive.
So caring.
So enthusiastic.
Uh I like it.
Hey, communications room.
I need to make a quick call.
Won't be a moment.
The transport's fueled.
Come on, Luthor.
Before they move the money.
Luthor, sir? It's Grodd.
He's recovered, and he wants to talk to you.
Man, what now? Can you wait outside? You'd better not be wasting Luthor's time, Grodd.
What is it? I just had to see it for myself Flash.
Me? The Flash? You've, like, totally lost it, Grodd.
I'm Lex Luthor.
And I'm Charlton Heston.
Dolt! My brain was in the circuit when you and Luthor traded minds.
Okay, look.
Luthor's got you in a cage like a lab rat.
He's humiliated you.
You hate him.
And you could help me see to it he never comes back.
Dude, help me out here.
True, I do hate Luthor.
But I hate you just as much.
So you gonna bust me or what? Where's the fun in that? I'm going to watch you twist in the wind until you're discovered and they tear you limb from limb.
Lex, we really have to go.
Ah, Tala, my old groupie.
I so miss bending you to my will.
Go eat a banana.
Lex is my man now.
If you say so.
I have devised a spell to exchange Luthor and Flash's minds again.
But to properly execute it, I must have physical contact with at least one of them.
They've got the fake Flash cornered in the cafeteria.
Go get him, Fate.
There's our target.
Luthor, we're waiting for your order.
Ha! Sitting ducks.
We're behind schedule.
A little help? Don't worry, guys.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
Unless you try something.
Sir, headquarters is forwarding a priority radio message.
Attention, the man you think is Luthor is actually a Justice Leaguer disguised as me.
Repeat, he is not Luthor.
I, Lex Luthor, find that preposterous.
Tell you what.
Why don't you humor us and tell me something Luthor would know and a spy wouldn't? What's my real name? Priority override, user code 0-0-6-- Ow! We'd better hurry and finish loading.
It won't take the league long to track that transmission.
Flash, come in.
What can we do for you, Mr.
Terrific? Send a team to the following coordinates.
He did it again.
It's a decoy.
Why would he even bother? He's on the bridge.
He's-- Picking up traces of Hard Light radiation, but it's pretty faint.
Allow me.
Tala, open a portal.
Forget the money.
Teleportation control online.
Artificial gravity off.
Speed's no good without gravity.
That's where you're wrong.
Artificial gravity on.
Fate, your patient just anesthetized himself.
Guys, I was starting to think I was gonna go out as the bottom of a supervillain dog pile.
It sounds like Wally, but is there any way to be sure? You want proof? Until he went off in the Marines, GL's nickname was-- Stop! It's him.
And you promised never to repeat that story.
I know, I was just messing with your head.
Well, can you tell us anything about Grodd's secret society? Where's their headquarters? I don't know.
In a swamp? You're making a big mistake.
Gotta be the Martian.
I say we torture him until he reverts to his true form.
It's me, Luthor.
Fate switched my mind, but I'm back now.
It may be true.
That doesn't matter.
I'm running things from now on.
Oh, don't kid yourself, Polaris.
Whether you're just a look-alike or the real thing, I'd hate to be you about now.
That's how you know I'm Luthor.
When I augmented your powers, I also made sure I can override your abilities.
Would anyone else care to try me? Lex, is that really you? Of course it's me, you twit.