Justice League Unlimited s03e09 Episode Script

Grudge Match

Come on.
You don't know the half of it.
We'll be lucky if we can make the rent on this toilet.
That's it? Nobody's betting.
Who can blame them? It's no good.
There isn't enough.
The last remnant of Brainiac, but there isn't enough to work with.
Perhaps if you constructed a positronic event chamber? Yes.
Yes, that could work.
But where would I get the money? Between the government freezing my assets and the cost of running this secret society He's talking to his imaginary friend again.
You're a resourceful human, Luthor.
I'm sure you'll find a way.
What do you want, Sonar? You busy? Roulette wants to-- I'm more than capable of speaking for myself.
Lex, darling I'm having some serious financial problems, and I'm afraid you're to blame.
Well, don't look at me to bail you out, Roulette.
I'm the one who skims you.
You know I don't like to complain, Lex, but you are taking a much bigger cut of the gross than Grodd ever did.
And Metabrawl receipts are down.
I've seen the books.
Now, don't think me ungrateful, but you've been poaching the best fighters for your so-called secret society.
Cut to the chase, Roulette.
What do you want? If I could only have a few star attractions in the ring.
Maybe Bizarro versus Sinestro? Back off, hot pants.
Give the man some space.
You're playing with fire, witch.
Who's playing? Tala.
Come on.
Let them go at it a minute.
There's not going to be any fighting.
At least not here.
Sonar I think you've given me the solution to Roulette's problem.
And mine as well.
Of course.
The new Metabrawl.
All girl fights all the time.
We'll call it the Glamour Slam.
Or The Belles of the Brawl.
With the right backing, it's a million-dollar idea.
A cash cow.
But even this won't work if the girls are all second-string villains.
Who said anything about villains? Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
Need a hand, Canary? Not from you.
Suit yourself.
I've never seen you so sloppy.
What's the deal? Get out of my way! I don't need your help, Huntress.
You were doing a fabulous job of getting your butt handed to you.
What did he do, anyway? Stole a wallet.
Shut up.
You got creamed by a pickpocket? You sure you're okay? Worried? Curious.
I didn't think you cared about anyone.
I'm telling you, Q, Canary's totally off her game.
Think she's moonlighting? Maybe she's stepping out on Green Arrow.
The deeper mystery here is, why do you even care? Isn't this the woman who beat the snot out of you a few months back? She got a lucky shot in.
Five or six lucky shots.
Anyway, that's not the point.
Aha! As I suspected.
Thirty-two flavors.
There's something wrong here, Q.
I can feel it.
I'm the conspiracy theorist, and even I don't see anything.
So what are you wearing? Blue overcoat.
You really stink at this.
Orange socks? Piece of cake.
Going down? Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to another ultra-exclusive evening of Metabrawl Glamour Slam.
My name is Roulette, and I make the rules.
Prepare to see the biggest, baddest super-powered struggle for dominance that it has ever been my pleasure to present.
A no-holds barred fight between two legendary ladies of the league.
Fire, the blistering babe from Brazil.
And the sultry siren of the sonic smackdown, the undefeated queen of the Glamour Slam, Black Canary.
Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.
Let the pain begin.
Woo-hoo! And the winner is Jeez, what's wrong with you? You almost killed Fire back there.
Are you undercover? Is Roulette blackmailing you? Talk to me.
You've got worse than that coming.
Better call the league in on-- Terrific.
What's-- What's going-- Thanks for saving us the trouble.
We really appreciate it.
How was I supposed to know you'd snapped out of it? I mean, I couldn't be sure.
They've had you up every night working the arena.
No wonder you've been fighting like a girl.
You know what I mean.
Don't remember, do you? You did that to her.
No way.
Where do you think you got that burn? It wasn't your fault.
They must be using some kind of mind-control technology.
Wherever it comes from, that stuff's a little too efficient for my taste.
Your earpiece was wrecked in the fight.
We can't phone for help.
Yeah, I think you're right.
The league comm-links.
That must be how Roulette was controlling you.
If she dies, Roulette, I'm taking you down hard.
I promise you that.
Now, why would I let such a valuable commodity die? On the other hand, you two aren't under my control, which means I'm going to have to eliminate you.
In the ring, of course.
Why just snuff you when I can sell tickets and lay odds? You're scum.
No, no, my dear.
I'm an entrepreneur.
Let's face it, With some A-list heroes to do the jobs, your deaths will net me millions.
An extra added attraction tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
Black Canary had so much fun, she's come back for more.
And she's brought the Huntress with her.
But they won't be fighting each other.
They'll be fighting together.
Huntress and Black Canary versus two new contenders.
The beauty with the beast powers, And the Thanagar thrasher, Hawkgirl.
Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.
Looks like we're in this together.
If you call me girlfriend, I'm gonna drop-kick you into the next county.
Now don't go all sentimental on me.
No, no, no, little bird.
What? Let me give you the short version.
I don't want to hurt you, Shayera.
But I wanna hurt you.
Just when we were starting to get along.
Huh? I don't think I wanna know.
We're all in a cage match fighting to the death.
Yeah, see? That all you got?! Oh, no.
I've saved the very best for last.
Yes, that's really Wonder Woman, ladies and gentlemen.
It is on! Can even these four beautiful bruisers stand up to the Amazon powerhouse herself? Anybody got a plan? Yeah.
Try to stay alive.
Anybody got a good plan? We're getting creamed here.
Let me try.
Cover your ears.
Keep her busy so I can take her from behind.
Oh, nice move.
That's all I got.
Control center's gotta be up there.
Hang on.
I should've taken you down last time.
My mistake.
I know your kind, Roulette.
You like to watch.
But when it comes to getting your own pretty hands dirty-- Didn't think I was that good, did you? Breaking news, I'm even better.
Who's better? You.
Got that right.
In another 30 seconds, your brains will be so scrambled, I'll be able to serve them up with bacon.
Okay! I give up.
Do I kill the signal, or you? I hope you two have an explanation for this.
Slow steps.
That's it.
I did what? I know how you feel.
You know, if you want, I can talk to the League and get you back in.
I do fine on my own.
Thank you, Helena.
If you hadn't-- You would've done the same.
I was totally whipping your butt back when they caught us.
In your dreams.
Like I'd waste my dreams on you.
We could settle this right now.
After all the mindless brutality we've seen tonight? No, thanks.
Yeah, I hear you.
Bad enough most people think superheroes solve all their problems with their fists.
Like we're all a bunch of muscle-headed stereotypes.
We're better than that.
Two falls out of three? You're on.