Masters of Sex s04e02 Episode Script
Inventory
1 [Virginia.]
Previously on Masters Of Sex You admitted to deceiving two people.
Me, in pretending to be someone else, and your lover's wife.
I never saw myself as a threat to the man's wife.
Because? Because I never wanted to marry him.
Libby, we can't do this anymore.
This has to be over.
Because you envisioned a future with Virginia? Virginia, I love you.
I always have.
I'm leaving.
Are you afraid he's coming? Or are you afraid he's not? [tires screeching.]
I'm taking your license for three months.
You'll also complete a mandatory AA program.
Like all things in life, you get out of AA what you put in.
Well, if you're an alcoholic, perhaps that's true.
Your dad, he's gonna stay somewhere else for a while.
So you're getting divorced? I have done my job, your job, and Virginia's job.
I love you as much as I always did.
You just don't want to sleep with me.
Maybe you can just tell me what's-- what's going on.
[exhales sharply.]
Shoes.
A monthly column in "Playboy" about sex? I will only publish your column if you'll remain the Masters and Johnson team.
We have to hire new people.
New partners.
For both of us.
Masters Of Sex - 4x02 "Inventory" [ playful jazz music .]
Running late? Tempus fugit.
To coin a phrase.
[indistinct chatter.]
Come to bed, Bill.
All you have to do is crawl back in.
[John.]
You sleep here? What-- what are you doing here, John? You get to work early, so I figured you'd be here, but I thought you lived in a hotel.
Uh, I was paying $5 a night for a a bed when I have a perfectly good one here.
What, uh, shouldn't you be at school? It doesn't start until 8:00.
[exhales sharply.]
Uh, does your mother know where you are? I came here to tell you I don't want to see you.
Neither does Jenny or Howie, so stop bothering Mom about it.
What? Why do you want to see us anyway? You don't like us.
John, that is completely untrue.
Uh, all I'm doing is trying to come up with a-- a reasonable schedule so you and I can have dinner together a few nights a week.
Like Scott Cullins, whose parents got divorced.
Now he has to go Thursdays to his dad's crummy new apartment to eat Chinese food out of the box, because his dad doesn't even have plates.
I will have plates, I can assure you.
You don't even have a real bed.
I'm gonna find an apartment.
I just, uh, I just haven't had the time, you know? Hey, hey, uh, how-- how are you getting to school? Let me take you.
In what? You can't drive.
Mom told us about your accident.
Uh, well, I-I can walk with you-- With all the other parents around, who are completely on Mom's side? That would just be the walk of shame.
Well, hey, but no, John, wait, wait.
Uh, John.
[Virginia.]
Each one's a different hotel, see? Caesar's Palace, and The Sands.
Sister Helen would put me in detention if I wore this to school.
And what's this? Casino earrings to match? No.
Ace of Spade cuff links.
For Grandpa.
I meant to give them to him when we dropped him off at the airport.
Apparently, Frank Sinatra has the exact same pair.
You should've gotten Grandpa combat pay.
Do you know that Lisa cried six hours straight last week? I mean, her face was red, she was covered in drool.
It got so bad that we had to call Libby.
Libby? Was that really necessary? Well, she came over and in five minutes, she got Lisa to stop crying.
Well, I heard that you were a big help to Grandpa while I was away.
Now that I'm back at work, I am going to be relying on you more to help with chores, watch Lisa.
Won't Dan be able to help with that? Dan will be here as often as he can, but unfortunately, he is going to be stuck in New York quite a bit.
You should know that Dan called me last week.
To say good-bye.
Since the two of you were breaking up.
Why would you lie to me about that? I wasn't lying.
I was waiting for the right time to tell you.
That you never got married.
Because it's complicated, and all I'm saying is I would appreciate it if we could keep this between us.
You want me to say you and Dan are married? For now.
Because well, it's important for my work.
It protects me, okay? If Bill thinks that I'm married, then it takes any complications off the table.
So you don't want to have sex with Uncle Bill anymore, either.
I don't need a lecture from you, Tessa.
Especially about something that you are too young to understand.
No, what you need, Mom, is a shrink.
What-- what happened to the cinnamon rolls? That plate was full 20 minutes ago.
What do you want me to say? I'm eating for two now.
You're not pregnant; Helen is.
Yeah, but when she isn't screaming at me, she's puking her guts out.
We went in for a check-up, Barton said he's never seen nausea so bad, so I have to, you know, pick up the slack.
I'm not sure that's how that works.
Lester, this is as close as I'm gonna get to being knocked up, so please, do not ruin this for me.
Morning.
After a couple of weeks out in Vegas, I expect you to show up with a suntan.
Well, we, uh, didn't leave the hotel room much.
Oh.
I suppose it's safer to stay inside, what with the H-bomb tests and all.
Where's Bill? Oh, he apparently followed his son to school.
He mentioned something about keeping a discreet distance, like a geisha.
Now that we're done catching up, here are the calls you've missed.
Some of them I told you were on sabbatical, some of them I told you were on safari.
You'll have to sort them out yourself.
Thank you, Betty.
I hope my being gone wasn't too much trouble.
Also, Nancy's here to see you.
She's in the doc's office.
Pleasure to meet you.
Nancy Leveau.
Thank you for coming in.
So, what brings you to the clinic, Mrs.
Leveau? Um, Dr.
Leveau, actually.
I'm still getting used to saying it myself.
I just finished my degree in May.
And I've been interning with Dr.
Scully since then.
So he's the one who recommended me to Dr.
Masters.
For the position here.
As Dr.
Masters' associate.
Dr.
Masters hired you? Oh, no.
Well, not yet.
He told me I'm meet with you this morning, and then the two of you would discuss.
Unless, would you like to wait for Dr.
Masters and-- and the two of you can interview me together.
Of course not.
That's why you're here.
So Dr.
Masters and I can divide and conquer.
Lester, you'll be seated here across from Nancy.
Now, obviously this is a bit unconventional, but instead of me interviewing you, I would like you to interview Lester and Betty.
I'm not sure I understand.
The intake interview is the cornerstone of our treatment, so this isn't a test.
[chuckles.]
Just curious, thank you, to see the natural instincts that you bring to the work.
So, your patients here have been married ten years, and Lester has recently begun suffering from secondary impotence.
Again? While Betty is unable to accommodate the girth of her husband's penis.
Are we getting paid extra for this? You can being whenever you're ready, Nancy.
And I'll try not to interrupt you.
Why don't you start by telling me about the problems-- I'm gonna have to stop you.
Sorry.
Uh, the word "problems" implies a value judgment.
That you were telling them, essentially, that there's something wrong with them.
Well, I-- well, they are here, so A better choice would be something more neutral, like, "What types of issues have you been dealing with?" All right.
So then, Mrs - Whatever.
- Betty, participate.
McGillicuddy.
What kind of issues have you been dealing with, Mrs.
McGillicuddy? It doesn't fit.
Well, the first thing we'll do is a physical exam-- Oh, I'm gonna have to stop you again.
Sorry, uh, the-- the first thing you would do is actually conduct a sexual history.
Yes, I considered that, but I decided against it.
Betty's symptoms are consistent with vaginismus.
I would first rule out any physical causes, such as trauma.
For Lester, I suspect his condition may be a direct result of Betty's vaginismus.
As you and Dr.
Masters explained in the interview last year in American Medical Journal, vaginismus can often cause performance anxiety in the male partner, which can manifest as secondary impotence.
Yes, that's true.
[phone ringing.]
Mrs.
Masters, am-- am I expecting you? No, I just came to drop off the retainer forms.
Oh.
[chuckles.]
Elaine, my secretary, decided to follow her heart back to cosmetology school, so for the moment, I am my own Gal Friday.
Just-- just-- just put the forms down on the desk.
Anywhere in particular? Pick a pile, any pile.
I-- I'll call you later to discuss; I won't forget.
However, if I do forget, you can call me.
[phones continue ringing.]
Mm-hmm.
Thank you, bye-bye.
You're late, but if you hurry, you can catch the tail end of Virginia's so-called "interview" with the new girl.
Well, I'm sure Virginia is more than able to handle the interview on her own.
I'll tell her to join you with the Connollys, that's the shoe guy, as soon as she's done.
Actually, uh, I'm gonna be working with the Connollys alone.
And after that, I-- I'd like to take a look at the calendar.
Make sure Virginia and I are using our time most efficiently.
I suggest you ask my husband what he did with my espadrilles.
Or, Dale, maybe you would like to tell Dr.
Masters what you did with my Levine Pilgrim Pumps.
At this point, I, uh [clears throat.]
I think I can infer.
I paid 10.
95 for those pumps.
But how can I-- how can I ever put my feet into them again? Knowing how his his seed is deposited all over them? Dr.
Masters told me that I should be honest with you.
- [scoffs.]
- Tell you what I really want.
This is all your doing, what he's become.
When I was in high school, my sister, sh-- she drove this beautiful baby blue T-bird.
And in her senior year, she started to date the varsity quarterback.
About a month into it, her car, it started to smell.
And she finally realized that in order to show his love, her boyfriend was defecating in the trunk.
He had become a freak.
I have never even considered crapping in a car.
And the worst part is, is-- is just that I thought my husband loved me.
I thought that he was attracted to me.
Not my shoes.
- Darleen-- - Don't.
Mrs.
Connolly [clears throat.]
I understand.
You're distressed.
[scoffs.]
But allowing your husband to express his desire for shoes is only the first step.
As it were.
Using sensate therapy, we will train Mr.
Connolly's libidinal energy, currently attached to shoes, to refocus in a direction that is sexually satisfying for you both.
I love you.
Shoes or no shoes, and I'm willing to try, if you are.
It's just it's not normal.
All I ever wanted to be is normal.
[footsteps.]
Betty, I need to look at the Smith's intake.
[ soft music .]
[knocking.]
Am I interrupting? Hardly.
Ejaculatory incompetence.
This could take weeks.
Uh [clears throat.]
we should discuss the schedule.
Okay, uh, I was going to suggest the same since I'll be busy with my column for Hef in the coming month.
I can handle the details of the pending court case, hire an attorney, uh, keep up with requests for documents.
Good.
Since I was the one that argued against the surrogacy program in the first place.
I'll resume with Little Brown, try to put the book deal back together.
Perfect.
Since the deal only collapsed because you boarded an airplane to Las Vegas instead of attending our book launch.
I will call Barton, discuss his moving his practice back with us.
As for speaking engagements, interviews-- We can decide on a case-by-case basis.
As for seeing new patients-- We both will, with our new partners.
I assume you approve of Dr.
Leveau.
She has sterling qualifications.
Mmm, I would prefer someone with more clinical experience, but as long as you don't mind some hand-holding.
She is very knowledgeable about the work.
Well, knowing is not the same as doing.
Whomever we hire, we will have to keep a very close eye on them.
So I would like to tighten our oversight by having Lester install recording equipment in the conference room and all the exam rooms.
Recording equipment? To record? Everything.
Sessions with patients, conversations between staff members.
Why? I can't imagine any new hire is going to stand being listened in on.
And yet if we had tape recorders in this office two months ago, we wouldn't be staring down the barrel at criminal charges.
[knocking.]
Courier just delivered these for you.
We're in the middle of a session, Betty.
You asked me to get you if any deliveries came for you.
Remember? So, here I am.
Right.
Well, do you know who they're from? Was there a card? "Virginia, counting the hours until I see you again.
All my love, Dan.
" I am going to call Dr.
Leveau, make the official offer.
All right, you can put those in my office, and then I need you to pull together a list of psychiatrists for potential new partners.
I need to start that interview process as soon as possible.
Or you could show a little appreciation every once in a while.
Whatever it is you're trying to say, why don't you just say it? Okay.
I've spent the past two months tap-dancing as fast as I can trying to keep this business together with spit and Scotch tape.
And in all that time [scoffs.]
I didn't hear so much as a peep from you.
You're right, I should have called.
I'm sorry.
- Woulda, coulda, shoulda.
- What do you want me to say? Words are not what I'm looking for.
See, Helen is out-to-here pregnant, which means I got another mouth to feed.
Now, I haven't had a raise since Truman was in the White House.
Which is a problem, because in my household, I am Truman, as in, the buck stops with me.
As I am also the breadwinner in my house.
So, why don't we pick a time next week to sit down and discuss it.
Unfortunately, right now, uh, my plate is very full with everything going on here.
Or we can take care of this right now.
See, I have been working here for ten years.
And I know your handwriting from a mile away.
Now, I don't know why you're sending yourself flowers from Dan, and I'm not asking.
What I am asking for is a little bit of support.
So I made a fearless moral inventory of all the people that did me wrong all these years, beginning with my mother.
She called the cops on me last year because I broke into her and my stepdad's house when I knew that they were at bingo.
[chuckles.]
That pissed her off royally.
Irregardless, though, how does a mother call the cops on her own flesh and blood? It's unnatural.
Next person is my asshole brother.
Why are you in the dark? Atmosphere.
[chuckles.]
I mean, how many times am I gonna get the chance to bug an office? This is as cloak and dagger as it gets for me.
- And it's all automatic? - Yeah.
Voice-activated.
As soon as the mic picks up people talking, the tape recorders in my office start recording.
- Great.
- Hey, hey.
Can I try something out on you? [exhales sharply.]
Linden.
Lester Linden.
I could pull it off, right? No.
Don't do that.
Yeah, okay.
[grunts.]
You think you're just going to sit there waiting on me to take you home? If you're here, you're working.
Help me with these chairs.
And don't think I didn't see the way you were looking at Kevin tonight.
Hmm.
If I had a penny for every one of those looks, I'd be driving a Cadillac.
And what look is that? That look that says, "This guy? "I got nothing in common with this guy.
"Well, why am I in the same room with this guy? In fact, why am I here with any of these people?" The thought has crossed my mind.
Now, I'm not saying he entirely understood the point of the fourth step.
Oh, that, uh, a fearless moral inventory isn't simply a list of excuses for why everyone else in the world is to blame for your own poor choices? That's not an uncommon mistake, to-- to blame others first before you look at yourself and the destruction you caused, but he is trying.
Which is more than I can say for some of us who haven't even started the first step.
See, that's the problem with this program of yours.
The interminable steps.
Belaboring everything.
Change is a process, not an event.
[groans.]
And there's the other problem.
The endless slogans.
With all the profundity of a fortune cookie.
Hmm.
Well, I guess you got it all wired.
I didn't say "all wired.
" Although, a week ago, my business was in shambles.
Now, it's up and running.
Even begun to hire new employees.
And tonight, I'm going to go see my wife, and hammer out a custody arrangement.
Ex-wife.
For your information, the divorce papers aren't even drafted yet.
Soon-to-be-ex-wife.
Point is if you're looking for a success story, it ain't Kevin.
And where are you living these days, Bill? 'Cause I've been picking you up and dropping you off at your office almost like you're sleeping there, but that can't be true.
I mean, for a success story like you.
My upstairs neighbor, Phyllis, spends every winter in Fort Lauderdale.
Um, now if you're willing to water the plants and feed the cat, I can get you settled in there tonight.
Well, as tempting as that sounds.
You got a better option? I thought maybe we could sit down-- listen, Libby, Libby, I-I talked with Johnny this morning.
He refuses to see me.
He says his siblings feel the same.
Well, I can't vouch for the baby, but yes, Johnny and Jenny are furious with you.
Well, perhaps they're taking cues from their mother.
Well, I don't know what you've told them.
I know you've poisoned the neighbors against me.
- The other parents-- - Are you blaming this on me? No, I'm not saying-- no.
Lib, Libby.
Libby.
[indistinct chatter.]
Another, please.
Two olives.
[ jazz music playing .]
Dr.
Madden.
Perhaps you don't remember me.
Virginia Johnson.
May I join you? Actually, I'm waiting for someone.
This whole pretending-not-to- know-who-I-am, it's on purpose, I assume.
It's against ethical guidelines for me to acknowledge a patient-- - Former patient.
- Um, yes.
In public.
So, yes, it is on purpose.
Oh, first date? He's seated at the bar.
He's waiting for you.
- Okay, thank you.
- Hi.
- [clears throat.]
- A blind first date.
Dr.
Madden, I'm disappointed.
The manager of a casino doesn't play the slots.
You're a therapist, Dr.
Madden, and yet here you are pumping quarters into the machine, fingers crossed that you'll be the one to hit the jackpot.
Does your husband know that he's married to a woman that doesn't believe in love? Oh, it turns out he's not much of a romantic either.
How late is she? 15 minutes.
Well, she could still turn up.
[scoffs.]
She's a Leo, so our chances weren't great to begin with.
That was a joke.
[chuckles.]
You know, it's fortuitous, running into you like this, Dr.
Madden.
'Cause I think I may have a business opportunity for you.
[crickets chirping.]
Cab's on its way, so I'm no longer living in a hotel.
Or staying in my office.
An associate knew of an apartment, so, uh, now you can rest assured, if the children change their minds and agree to see me, they have a place to stay.
There's even a pull-out sofa, I'm told.
You want something? [clears throat.]
Oh, I'm going to AA meetings now.
Did I tell you that? Uh, it's-- it's court-ordered.
Uh, people seem to find the, uh, the exercises therapeutic.
There's one they call, uh, the "inventory.
" You make a list of all the people you've hurt, all the people you've disappointed.
I know there's no one I've hurt as much as you, Libby.
And I'm sorry.
For everything I've done.
[sniffs.]
Let's call it even.
Do you really think all those years that I just sat here making lunches and vacuuming the carpets while you were working late? [scoffs.]
First, there was Robert.
You remember Robert.
Coral's brother? The first time, we didn't even make it to the bedroom.
He took me right there on the kitchen floor.
Anybody walking by could have seen us.
But I wanted him so badly, it didn't even matter.
Then, there was Paul.
There is not a room in this house where Paul and I didn't make love.
Certainly, there was this room.
[ soft music .]
Every inch of it, really.
There was the rug.
Up against the bar.
On this sofa.
Paul wanted to marry me, take me away.
The kids too.
And I should have gone.
I should have gone.
So, if you want to feel sorry for someone, I would suggest feeling sorry for yourself.
[car honks.]
That would be your taxi.
I'm flattered by the offer, but I'm-- I'm very happy with my practice.
Really? Really? You don't get tired of the same people, the same problems, year after year? With the protocols that we've developed, we can transform patient's lives in a matter of weeks.
You do know that there are psychologists in St.
Louis far more qualified than I am for this job.
You're a Yale undergrad with a PhD from Columbia.
Plus, in my case, everything you told me as a patient was spot-on.
I was full of excuses, like you said.
Living in denial of the consequences of my own behavior.
You told me what I needed to hear.
And as a result, you've sorted out your life, have you? [chuckles.]
Please think about it.
If I have a change of heart, I will call you.
Well good luck with the slots.
[exasperated sigh.]
Sorry to bother, but I was wondering if you had any tips for my first day.
You are the expert, obviously, when it comes to working with Bill, so Well, my first tip would be to call him Dr.
Masters.
[chuckles.]
But other than that, you're his partner now.
You'll find your own way of working together.
Also, I know that you are interviewing for another staff psychiatrist, and I-I have a friend, a family friend, who I think would be perfect for the role.
Perfect? That's a strong word.
He's young, but he is very accomplished.
Oh, well, I already have a long list of candidates to see today, but, uh, I suppose we can try to squeeze him in.
Why don't you give Betty his information? Of course.
[knocking.]
How's the bachelor pad? [exhales deeply.]
I feel if I moved to Mars, you would still stalk me.
One of the perks of driving with me to the first meeting of the day is you get to make the coffee.
I'm not going.
So I'll make the coffee, but that means you setting up the chairs.
I just told you, I'm not going.
Fine.
If you're not going, I'm not going.
Wh-- what-- what do you want from me, exactly? Because let me be perfectly clear, I will not, uh, uh, take inventory, or-- or make amends, or say anything, ever, in any AA meeting.
All I want is to be left alone.
[cat meows.]
I can wait.
[cat meows.]
Oh, for Christ's sakes.
[breathing heavily.]
[cat meows.]
[sighs.]
Imagine finding out the only person you've trusted, the one person whose loyalty you never even thought to question, has been lying to you for years.
And the worst thing is, you-- you can't even be angry with her.
Because for every time she's lied to you, you know you've lied to her, uh, a hundred times.
A thousand times.
We talking about your ex-wife? [exhales sharply.]
I broke her heart.
[ soft music .]
And I can't change that.
I can't change the fact that my ki-- my kids hate me.
I can't change anything.
My husband didn't speak to me for a year.
Not a word.
I ask him how his day was.
Nothing.
Tell him I loved him.
Nothing.
I asked for forgiveness.
Got on my knees and begged.
He'd just look at me.
Some days, I wanted to kill him.
Or myself.
And then I'd remember that what he was doing to me was nothing compared to what I did to him.
All those people in those meetings are all tormented in the same way.
The same sorry, not sorry, the same anger and remorse.
Both at the people who've harmed them and at the people they've harmed.
When you take both lists and you lay them side by side, you put the aggrieved up against the aggressors, the [exhales sharply.]
the weird thing is, it's the same names on both lists.
[cat meows.]
Hi.
Art Dreessen.
Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.
Pleasure to meet you.
Actually, we've met before.
I was at the symposium you and Dr.
Masters led at Princeton on sexology and behaviorism.
Oh.
You probably don't remember, but I did ask you a question, what single quality did you think all great psychologists had in common? The ability to treat a patient without any judgment is usually my standard answer.
And that was it.
You said, if a patient walks in your door, and he says he's currently having a sexual relationship with a seal, your first question should be, "Do you prefer the north or the south side of the island?" Oh.
You know, I don't remember exactly what I said.
Well, it left a strong impression on me.
And since I prefer the north side of the island, when Nancy said you and Dr.
Masters were looking for psychiatrists, I pleaded with her to get me in.
And you and Dr.
Leveau, you grew up together? We went to medical school together at McGill.
Nancy grew up in Montreal, just a few miles from campus.
So Nancy would invite me to stay with her family for the holidays.
My father works for the government.
They move him around every few years.
I was born in Singapore, raised in Virginia.
Hmm.
And it says that you have an MD in psychiatry.
You didn't pursue an advanced degree? I was under the impression that a medical degree was advanced.
Well, we're primarily considering applicants with PhDs for this job.
I'm so sorry that Dr.
Leveau didn't mention that.
[sighs.]
You know, I've always found the more degrees on a psychiatrist's walls, the higher the probability he's either a charlatan or a horse's ass.
Or both.
And after school, you went to The Kinsey Institute.
I did a research fellowship there.
Any particular area of focus? Marriage.
Specifically, the role of sex in marriage.
As you can imagine, your book was my bible.
Hmm.
I went through two copies.
The first got so dog-eared, the pages feel out.
Well, that's very flattering.
But, as I said, uh, we are primarily considering applicants with more advanced credentials.
I understand, Mrs.
Johnson.
I'm just honored you're considering me at all.
Nervous? No, not nervous.
I'm-- I'm ready for this.
Uh, I was going to suggest that you take the lead in the exam room.
Walk the Connollys through the basics of sensate.
You may touch, rub, massage, or kiss anywhere on your partner's body, aside from the genitals and breasts.
Did you want to add anything, Dr.
Masters? You might also remove the slippers.
But I-I thought that we agreed that my-- my feet are off-limits.
We did.
And through the sensate therapy, we hope to refocus your husband's desire on to more acceptable parts of your body, but if that refocusing leads to his hiding his desire, then that desire becomes something else.
A secret.
A secret in a marriage is very hard to survive.
You have a better chance if you can find your pleasure together.
You know, meet each other halfway.
Uh, I just-- I don't think that I can do that.
All I'm asking is that you try.
[ soft music .]
If you're uncomfortable in bare feet, we could always try it in your Vivier pumps.
Or not.
[scoffs.]
[exhales sharply.]
- [clears throat.]
- What if I just touched your knees.
Well, you don't know how perfect they are.
[chuckles.]
My knees? Everything.
The line of your calves.
The curve of your ankle.
You have the smoothest soles.
Exquisite arches.
Mmm.
- Your toes.
- Dale.
- Your long - Dale.
Slender toes.
I mean, that doesn't-- that doesn't feel awful.
Mmm.
Oh, my God, Dale.
- [breathing heavily.]
- [moaning.]
[both breathing heavily.]
- Oh, Dale.
- [moaning.]
Don't.
It's too-- too weird.
[moaning.]
Betty said you wanted to see me? I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the lab this afternoon.
With Mr.
and Mrs.
Connolly? With you, actually.
There is-- there is a real danger in this work, observing a couple in their most intimate moments.
Uh, it's only natural that the observers can, from time to time, find themselves experiencing a certain erotic charge of their own.
I see.
Uh, if they're not careful, they can begin to mistake the intimacy of the couple behind the glass for a kind of intimacy between themselves and their partner.
I know that I agreed to wait for you to call me, but I suppose I'm not very patient when I know what I want.
Clearly.
But I have not changed my mind.
Neither have I.
[Nancy.]
You want me to fill it out? I would like us both to fill it out.
Together.
It's our intake questionnaire.
Touches on every aspect of a patient's sexual makeup, their psychological history, their fantasies.
It's essential that our relationship remain strictly professional.
Now the best way to ensure that is that we are completely transparent with one another.
There can be no secrets between us.
So, who's going to reveal what to whom first? I'm flattered that you've followed my career so closely.
Here you are.
Well, it would have been impossible not to.
Every time I turn my head, you're on a different magazine cover.
[chuckles.]
And, I, uh, I did read your book.
Mm.
What did you think? I thought if all the people that bought this book and actually read it, I'm gonna be out of a job.
[chuckles.]
There I was, out of luck.
He came in about four seconds.
17-year-old boys not being known for their endurance.
So you didn't achieve orgasm? Not that first time, no.
And then camp was over the next day, and I never saw him again.
When did you first I was 18.
She sat next to me in Advanced Calculus.
Did you love her? [scoffs.]
I doubt I understood the meaning of the word.
You understand the work.
We have an excellent rapport.
[exhales sharply.]
In which case, the most responsible thing for me to do is take myself out of the running.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm just-- I'm not comfortable working with a former patient.
That is a-a boundary that I can't cross.
Mm, it's only a boundary if you allow it to be one.
[groans.]
All right.
I didn't expect you to understand.
Who was the first, then? The first woman you really loved? Uh, sh-- she was, uh, a sister of a friend.
Dody was her name.
Well, uh, Geraldine, but, uh, only her mother called her that.
To everyone else, she was Dody.
Anyway, she, uh, she moved on, and it ended.
Next topic, uh, current frequency of sex.
If we're being honest with each other, Virginia, you have a certain disregard for professional and personal boundaries, and this is not the first time that I have seen this from you.
Wow.
I am curious now as to what it is that you are referring to.
The fact is we had crossed a line, yeah.
He's 15 years older.
And my professor, and in the end, he was forced to resign.
His wife left him.
And he lost everything, his children.
Did you continue seeing him? I transferred schools.
Then I met my husband the following year.
Well, do you remember how we first met? You came to me under an assumed name presenting yourself as suffering from symptoms you did not have.
I was attempting to help a patient.
Yes, and, yes, your pattern now is exactly the same as it was then, yes.
Wow, my pattern? I wasn't even aware that I had a pattern.
[chuckles.]
Oh, yes.
And I see it in my practice all the time.
I would call it rationalization.
Whatever the patient does, they find a way to rationalize it to convince themselves that they're not to blame.
Oh, no.
Oh.
That's very interesting.
The last time I saw you, you were having an affair with a married man.
The husband of a woman you considered a friend.
And yet, you felt no remorse.
Because you had been unfaithful in your own marriage? Yes.
Was your wife unfaithful? She was it turns out.
Uh, have you ever been unfaithful in-- in your marriage? I have.
And you suspect that your husband has been unfaithful as well? I do, yes.
I-I really had no intention or dredging any of-- of this up.
I-I-I I think I've had too much to drink.
And yet, all this does is prove to me why you are the perfect candidate for the job.
[scoffs.]
Your honesty.
Fearlessness.
[chuckles.]
And not to mention, your understanding of me.
[chuckles.]
Well, I don't know about all that.
Believe me, I know.
How about we find someplace else to continue this conversation? So I was wondering one other thing.
Uh, it isn't on the questionnaire.
When I did my internship with Dr.
Scully, there were rumors about you and Mrs.
Johnson.
So were you ever involved sexually? Since we're being completely honest with each other? Uh, no.
Ever since my wife died, I've-- I've been alone to [sighs.]
this was a terrible mistake.
Don't worry.
I will not breathe a word of this to the America Psychiatric Association.
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, God.
[chuckles.]
I really shouldn't be drinking like that.
It is interesting though, how you immediately rationalize your decision.
I wonder if that's a pattern for you.
You're very good at judging other people, Dr.
Madden.
Assigning labels, and arranging them in little boxes.
But what do you really know about you, for example? Sitting there in your-- in your boxer shorts.
Maybe it's not so easy to observe your own behavior, your own shortcomings.
For that matter, what do you really know about me? What I've had to overcome in my life.
The enormous sacrifices that I have had to make to get on all of those magazine covers.
I am very good at my job because I don't judge.
But given your limitations, I think it's probably best that we take your name out of consideration for the position at the clinic.
Wouldn't you agree? [ soft music .]
[door slams.]
I hope you're not gonna make a habit of this, stopping by unannounced.
Well, no, no, no.
But I-I-- Oh, I feel like things were left unsettled after we spoke last night.
I don't feel unsettled at all.
Except by your clothes.
What are you wearing? I didn't sleep a wink.
I can see that.
I'll admit what you told me last night, it's, uh [exhales sharply.]
it's very painful.
[ soft music .]
But I realize now it is much better that you found some pleasure somewhere, even if it wasn't with me.
[sighs.]
We were married, Bill.
We should have found our pleasure together.
I know.
It's just there's so much that I missed out on.
An entire world out there.
You're not dead.
[chuckles.]
No just 40.
[dishes clatter.]
Honey, are you hungry? I was thinking of making some eggs.
I already ate.
Well, then why don't I make some French toast? That way, it can be dessert for you and dinner for me.
I'm not staying here tonight.
I'm moving in with Dad.
Oh, Tessie, please.
Can we not do this tonight? You don't have to do anything.
But I have to take care of myself.
No, no, no.
Honey, wait.
I understand that you're upset with me, but I took your advice.
I saw a psychiatrist.
- You did? - Yes.
What did he say? He said, for the most part, that people are doing the best that they can.
And that's really all they can do.
That is what I'm doing.
So if that is not good enough It isn't.
It isn't.
I'm sorry.
[sighs.]
Virginia? Libby.
Welcome home.
Coffee, please.
Here you are.
Great minds think alike.
[chuckles.]
I've actually been meaning to call you to thank you for-- for helping my dad with the baby while I was away.
Oh, that.
I remembered that Lisa liked to be held stomach-down when she was a baby, so I tried that.
Well, you were a saint to do it.
I've actually been meaning to call you too.
To congratulate you.
You are married now? Yes, uh, it happened very quickly.
But you're happy? Very.
We both are.
Good for you.
[sighs.]
I really don't know what to say, Libby.
Other than, um other than I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about Bill.
[chuckles.]
Yes, well I keep thinking about that pact that we made.
Do you remember that? I thought we were so clever, what we'd come up with.
Seemed foolproof.
We only made one tiny mistake, and we left out Bill, the one person who could derail everything.
I've also been thinking if you and I had met somewhere else, um, on an airplane or in a diner, would we still have been friends? I'm sure we would have.
I suppose we'll never know.
[chuckles.]
The only thing we ever really had in common was Bill, and now, not even that.
Oh, I'm not so sure that matters.
So we are friends? Of course we're friends, Libby.
I'm glad.
Uh, what are you doing here? Me? Oh, um, I'm going to work.
[phone rings.]
Mrs.
Masters? Uh, I thought our next appointment wasn't until Tuesday.
I'm not here for an appointment.
I am here for a job.
I can't afford to have an attorney whose office looks like it's been hit by a hurricane.
[chuckles.]
You need a secretary.
Someone to keep you organized.
- I can start right away.
- [phone ringing.]
[laughing.]
We're three blocks from the office.
Nobody's gonna see us.
Just wait, uh, a few minutes after I'm gone.
I just don't want to come in too close together.
Wish me luck on my first day.
Good luck, baby.
Hey, you'll be great.
Dr.
Dreessen, I'm so glad this worked out.
And I'm glad you looked beyond all those fancy degrees - and chose me.
- Ah, well, like you said, the more degrees, the more likely he's a horse's ass.
Uh, Dr.
Dreessen, this is Dr.
Masters.
- You already know Dr.
Leveau.
- A pleasure.
Of course.
Dr.
Masters and I have been going over the current patient files.
It might be most useful if we review them all together.
Let's begin.
[ The Turtles' "Happy Together" .]
The Paulsons are coming in at 9:00 AM for their first appointment.
Uh, Dr.
Leveau and I have a follow-up appointment with the Connollys in mind.
All right, then Dr.
Dreessen and I can take the Paulsons.
[Art.]
You know, I believe I've already reviewed that file, so I assume Mrs.
Johnson and I and hold her tight so happy together I can't see me lovin' when you're with me, baby the skies will be blue for all my life me and you and you and me no matter how they tossed the dice it had to be the only one for me is you and you for me so happy together I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life when you're with me, baby the skies will be blue for all my life
Previously on Masters Of Sex You admitted to deceiving two people.
Me, in pretending to be someone else, and your lover's wife.
I never saw myself as a threat to the man's wife.
Because? Because I never wanted to marry him.
Libby, we can't do this anymore.
This has to be over.
Because you envisioned a future with Virginia? Virginia, I love you.
I always have.
I'm leaving.
Are you afraid he's coming? Or are you afraid he's not? [tires screeching.]
I'm taking your license for three months.
You'll also complete a mandatory AA program.
Like all things in life, you get out of AA what you put in.
Well, if you're an alcoholic, perhaps that's true.
Your dad, he's gonna stay somewhere else for a while.
So you're getting divorced? I have done my job, your job, and Virginia's job.
I love you as much as I always did.
You just don't want to sleep with me.
Maybe you can just tell me what's-- what's going on.
[exhales sharply.]
Shoes.
A monthly column in "Playboy" about sex? I will only publish your column if you'll remain the Masters and Johnson team.
We have to hire new people.
New partners.
For both of us.
Masters Of Sex - 4x02 "Inventory" [ playful jazz music .]
Running late? Tempus fugit.
To coin a phrase.
[indistinct chatter.]
Come to bed, Bill.
All you have to do is crawl back in.
[John.]
You sleep here? What-- what are you doing here, John? You get to work early, so I figured you'd be here, but I thought you lived in a hotel.
Uh, I was paying $5 a night for a a bed when I have a perfectly good one here.
What, uh, shouldn't you be at school? It doesn't start until 8:00.
[exhales sharply.]
Uh, does your mother know where you are? I came here to tell you I don't want to see you.
Neither does Jenny or Howie, so stop bothering Mom about it.
What? Why do you want to see us anyway? You don't like us.
John, that is completely untrue.
Uh, all I'm doing is trying to come up with a-- a reasonable schedule so you and I can have dinner together a few nights a week.
Like Scott Cullins, whose parents got divorced.
Now he has to go Thursdays to his dad's crummy new apartment to eat Chinese food out of the box, because his dad doesn't even have plates.
I will have plates, I can assure you.
You don't even have a real bed.
I'm gonna find an apartment.
I just, uh, I just haven't had the time, you know? Hey, hey, uh, how-- how are you getting to school? Let me take you.
In what? You can't drive.
Mom told us about your accident.
Uh, well, I-I can walk with you-- With all the other parents around, who are completely on Mom's side? That would just be the walk of shame.
Well, hey, but no, John, wait, wait.
Uh, John.
[Virginia.]
Each one's a different hotel, see? Caesar's Palace, and The Sands.
Sister Helen would put me in detention if I wore this to school.
And what's this? Casino earrings to match? No.
Ace of Spade cuff links.
For Grandpa.
I meant to give them to him when we dropped him off at the airport.
Apparently, Frank Sinatra has the exact same pair.
You should've gotten Grandpa combat pay.
Do you know that Lisa cried six hours straight last week? I mean, her face was red, she was covered in drool.
It got so bad that we had to call Libby.
Libby? Was that really necessary? Well, she came over and in five minutes, she got Lisa to stop crying.
Well, I heard that you were a big help to Grandpa while I was away.
Now that I'm back at work, I am going to be relying on you more to help with chores, watch Lisa.
Won't Dan be able to help with that? Dan will be here as often as he can, but unfortunately, he is going to be stuck in New York quite a bit.
You should know that Dan called me last week.
To say good-bye.
Since the two of you were breaking up.
Why would you lie to me about that? I wasn't lying.
I was waiting for the right time to tell you.
That you never got married.
Because it's complicated, and all I'm saying is I would appreciate it if we could keep this between us.
You want me to say you and Dan are married? For now.
Because well, it's important for my work.
It protects me, okay? If Bill thinks that I'm married, then it takes any complications off the table.
So you don't want to have sex with Uncle Bill anymore, either.
I don't need a lecture from you, Tessa.
Especially about something that you are too young to understand.
No, what you need, Mom, is a shrink.
What-- what happened to the cinnamon rolls? That plate was full 20 minutes ago.
What do you want me to say? I'm eating for two now.
You're not pregnant; Helen is.
Yeah, but when she isn't screaming at me, she's puking her guts out.
We went in for a check-up, Barton said he's never seen nausea so bad, so I have to, you know, pick up the slack.
I'm not sure that's how that works.
Lester, this is as close as I'm gonna get to being knocked up, so please, do not ruin this for me.
Morning.
After a couple of weeks out in Vegas, I expect you to show up with a suntan.
Well, we, uh, didn't leave the hotel room much.
Oh.
I suppose it's safer to stay inside, what with the H-bomb tests and all.
Where's Bill? Oh, he apparently followed his son to school.
He mentioned something about keeping a discreet distance, like a geisha.
Now that we're done catching up, here are the calls you've missed.
Some of them I told you were on sabbatical, some of them I told you were on safari.
You'll have to sort them out yourself.
Thank you, Betty.
I hope my being gone wasn't too much trouble.
Also, Nancy's here to see you.
She's in the doc's office.
Pleasure to meet you.
Nancy Leveau.
Thank you for coming in.
So, what brings you to the clinic, Mrs.
Leveau? Um, Dr.
Leveau, actually.
I'm still getting used to saying it myself.
I just finished my degree in May.
And I've been interning with Dr.
Scully since then.
So he's the one who recommended me to Dr.
Masters.
For the position here.
As Dr.
Masters' associate.
Dr.
Masters hired you? Oh, no.
Well, not yet.
He told me I'm meet with you this morning, and then the two of you would discuss.
Unless, would you like to wait for Dr.
Masters and-- and the two of you can interview me together.
Of course not.
That's why you're here.
So Dr.
Masters and I can divide and conquer.
Lester, you'll be seated here across from Nancy.
Now, obviously this is a bit unconventional, but instead of me interviewing you, I would like you to interview Lester and Betty.
I'm not sure I understand.
The intake interview is the cornerstone of our treatment, so this isn't a test.
[chuckles.]
Just curious, thank you, to see the natural instincts that you bring to the work.
So, your patients here have been married ten years, and Lester has recently begun suffering from secondary impotence.
Again? While Betty is unable to accommodate the girth of her husband's penis.
Are we getting paid extra for this? You can being whenever you're ready, Nancy.
And I'll try not to interrupt you.
Why don't you start by telling me about the problems-- I'm gonna have to stop you.
Sorry.
Uh, the word "problems" implies a value judgment.
That you were telling them, essentially, that there's something wrong with them.
Well, I-- well, they are here, so A better choice would be something more neutral, like, "What types of issues have you been dealing with?" All right.
So then, Mrs - Whatever.
- Betty, participate.
McGillicuddy.
What kind of issues have you been dealing with, Mrs.
McGillicuddy? It doesn't fit.
Well, the first thing we'll do is a physical exam-- Oh, I'm gonna have to stop you again.
Sorry, uh, the-- the first thing you would do is actually conduct a sexual history.
Yes, I considered that, but I decided against it.
Betty's symptoms are consistent with vaginismus.
I would first rule out any physical causes, such as trauma.
For Lester, I suspect his condition may be a direct result of Betty's vaginismus.
As you and Dr.
Masters explained in the interview last year in American Medical Journal, vaginismus can often cause performance anxiety in the male partner, which can manifest as secondary impotence.
Yes, that's true.
[phone ringing.]
Mrs.
Masters, am-- am I expecting you? No, I just came to drop off the retainer forms.
Oh.
[chuckles.]
Elaine, my secretary, decided to follow her heart back to cosmetology school, so for the moment, I am my own Gal Friday.
Just-- just-- just put the forms down on the desk.
Anywhere in particular? Pick a pile, any pile.
I-- I'll call you later to discuss; I won't forget.
However, if I do forget, you can call me.
[phones continue ringing.]
Mm-hmm.
Thank you, bye-bye.
You're late, but if you hurry, you can catch the tail end of Virginia's so-called "interview" with the new girl.
Well, I'm sure Virginia is more than able to handle the interview on her own.
I'll tell her to join you with the Connollys, that's the shoe guy, as soon as she's done.
Actually, uh, I'm gonna be working with the Connollys alone.
And after that, I-- I'd like to take a look at the calendar.
Make sure Virginia and I are using our time most efficiently.
I suggest you ask my husband what he did with my espadrilles.
Or, Dale, maybe you would like to tell Dr.
Masters what you did with my Levine Pilgrim Pumps.
At this point, I, uh [clears throat.]
I think I can infer.
I paid 10.
95 for those pumps.
But how can I-- how can I ever put my feet into them again? Knowing how his his seed is deposited all over them? Dr.
Masters told me that I should be honest with you.
- [scoffs.]
- Tell you what I really want.
This is all your doing, what he's become.
When I was in high school, my sister, sh-- she drove this beautiful baby blue T-bird.
And in her senior year, she started to date the varsity quarterback.
About a month into it, her car, it started to smell.
And she finally realized that in order to show his love, her boyfriend was defecating in the trunk.
He had become a freak.
I have never even considered crapping in a car.
And the worst part is, is-- is just that I thought my husband loved me.
I thought that he was attracted to me.
Not my shoes.
- Darleen-- - Don't.
Mrs.
Connolly [clears throat.]
I understand.
You're distressed.
[scoffs.]
But allowing your husband to express his desire for shoes is only the first step.
As it were.
Using sensate therapy, we will train Mr.
Connolly's libidinal energy, currently attached to shoes, to refocus in a direction that is sexually satisfying for you both.
I love you.
Shoes or no shoes, and I'm willing to try, if you are.
It's just it's not normal.
All I ever wanted to be is normal.
[footsteps.]
Betty, I need to look at the Smith's intake.
[ soft music .]
[knocking.]
Am I interrupting? Hardly.
Ejaculatory incompetence.
This could take weeks.
Uh [clears throat.]
we should discuss the schedule.
Okay, uh, I was going to suggest the same since I'll be busy with my column for Hef in the coming month.
I can handle the details of the pending court case, hire an attorney, uh, keep up with requests for documents.
Good.
Since I was the one that argued against the surrogacy program in the first place.
I'll resume with Little Brown, try to put the book deal back together.
Perfect.
Since the deal only collapsed because you boarded an airplane to Las Vegas instead of attending our book launch.
I will call Barton, discuss his moving his practice back with us.
As for speaking engagements, interviews-- We can decide on a case-by-case basis.
As for seeing new patients-- We both will, with our new partners.
I assume you approve of Dr.
Leveau.
She has sterling qualifications.
Mmm, I would prefer someone with more clinical experience, but as long as you don't mind some hand-holding.
She is very knowledgeable about the work.
Well, knowing is not the same as doing.
Whomever we hire, we will have to keep a very close eye on them.
So I would like to tighten our oversight by having Lester install recording equipment in the conference room and all the exam rooms.
Recording equipment? To record? Everything.
Sessions with patients, conversations between staff members.
Why? I can't imagine any new hire is going to stand being listened in on.
And yet if we had tape recorders in this office two months ago, we wouldn't be staring down the barrel at criminal charges.
[knocking.]
Courier just delivered these for you.
We're in the middle of a session, Betty.
You asked me to get you if any deliveries came for you.
Remember? So, here I am.
Right.
Well, do you know who they're from? Was there a card? "Virginia, counting the hours until I see you again.
All my love, Dan.
" I am going to call Dr.
Leveau, make the official offer.
All right, you can put those in my office, and then I need you to pull together a list of psychiatrists for potential new partners.
I need to start that interview process as soon as possible.
Or you could show a little appreciation every once in a while.
Whatever it is you're trying to say, why don't you just say it? Okay.
I've spent the past two months tap-dancing as fast as I can trying to keep this business together with spit and Scotch tape.
And in all that time [scoffs.]
I didn't hear so much as a peep from you.
You're right, I should have called.
I'm sorry.
- Woulda, coulda, shoulda.
- What do you want me to say? Words are not what I'm looking for.
See, Helen is out-to-here pregnant, which means I got another mouth to feed.
Now, I haven't had a raise since Truman was in the White House.
Which is a problem, because in my household, I am Truman, as in, the buck stops with me.
As I am also the breadwinner in my house.
So, why don't we pick a time next week to sit down and discuss it.
Unfortunately, right now, uh, my plate is very full with everything going on here.
Or we can take care of this right now.
See, I have been working here for ten years.
And I know your handwriting from a mile away.
Now, I don't know why you're sending yourself flowers from Dan, and I'm not asking.
What I am asking for is a little bit of support.
So I made a fearless moral inventory of all the people that did me wrong all these years, beginning with my mother.
She called the cops on me last year because I broke into her and my stepdad's house when I knew that they were at bingo.
[chuckles.]
That pissed her off royally.
Irregardless, though, how does a mother call the cops on her own flesh and blood? It's unnatural.
Next person is my asshole brother.
Why are you in the dark? Atmosphere.
[chuckles.]
I mean, how many times am I gonna get the chance to bug an office? This is as cloak and dagger as it gets for me.
- And it's all automatic? - Yeah.
Voice-activated.
As soon as the mic picks up people talking, the tape recorders in my office start recording.
- Great.
- Hey, hey.
Can I try something out on you? [exhales sharply.]
Linden.
Lester Linden.
I could pull it off, right? No.
Don't do that.
Yeah, okay.
[grunts.]
You think you're just going to sit there waiting on me to take you home? If you're here, you're working.
Help me with these chairs.
And don't think I didn't see the way you were looking at Kevin tonight.
Hmm.
If I had a penny for every one of those looks, I'd be driving a Cadillac.
And what look is that? That look that says, "This guy? "I got nothing in common with this guy.
"Well, why am I in the same room with this guy? In fact, why am I here with any of these people?" The thought has crossed my mind.
Now, I'm not saying he entirely understood the point of the fourth step.
Oh, that, uh, a fearless moral inventory isn't simply a list of excuses for why everyone else in the world is to blame for your own poor choices? That's not an uncommon mistake, to-- to blame others first before you look at yourself and the destruction you caused, but he is trying.
Which is more than I can say for some of us who haven't even started the first step.
See, that's the problem with this program of yours.
The interminable steps.
Belaboring everything.
Change is a process, not an event.
[groans.]
And there's the other problem.
The endless slogans.
With all the profundity of a fortune cookie.
Hmm.
Well, I guess you got it all wired.
I didn't say "all wired.
" Although, a week ago, my business was in shambles.
Now, it's up and running.
Even begun to hire new employees.
And tonight, I'm going to go see my wife, and hammer out a custody arrangement.
Ex-wife.
For your information, the divorce papers aren't even drafted yet.
Soon-to-be-ex-wife.
Point is if you're looking for a success story, it ain't Kevin.
And where are you living these days, Bill? 'Cause I've been picking you up and dropping you off at your office almost like you're sleeping there, but that can't be true.
I mean, for a success story like you.
My upstairs neighbor, Phyllis, spends every winter in Fort Lauderdale.
Um, now if you're willing to water the plants and feed the cat, I can get you settled in there tonight.
Well, as tempting as that sounds.
You got a better option? I thought maybe we could sit down-- listen, Libby, Libby, I-I talked with Johnny this morning.
He refuses to see me.
He says his siblings feel the same.
Well, I can't vouch for the baby, but yes, Johnny and Jenny are furious with you.
Well, perhaps they're taking cues from their mother.
Well, I don't know what you've told them.
I know you've poisoned the neighbors against me.
- The other parents-- - Are you blaming this on me? No, I'm not saying-- no.
Lib, Libby.
Libby.
[indistinct chatter.]
Another, please.
Two olives.
[ jazz music playing .]
Dr.
Madden.
Perhaps you don't remember me.
Virginia Johnson.
May I join you? Actually, I'm waiting for someone.
This whole pretending-not-to- know-who-I-am, it's on purpose, I assume.
It's against ethical guidelines for me to acknowledge a patient-- - Former patient.
- Um, yes.
In public.
So, yes, it is on purpose.
Oh, first date? He's seated at the bar.
He's waiting for you.
- Okay, thank you.
- Hi.
- [clears throat.]
- A blind first date.
Dr.
Madden, I'm disappointed.
The manager of a casino doesn't play the slots.
You're a therapist, Dr.
Madden, and yet here you are pumping quarters into the machine, fingers crossed that you'll be the one to hit the jackpot.
Does your husband know that he's married to a woman that doesn't believe in love? Oh, it turns out he's not much of a romantic either.
How late is she? 15 minutes.
Well, she could still turn up.
[scoffs.]
She's a Leo, so our chances weren't great to begin with.
That was a joke.
[chuckles.]
You know, it's fortuitous, running into you like this, Dr.
Madden.
'Cause I think I may have a business opportunity for you.
[crickets chirping.]
Cab's on its way, so I'm no longer living in a hotel.
Or staying in my office.
An associate knew of an apartment, so, uh, now you can rest assured, if the children change their minds and agree to see me, they have a place to stay.
There's even a pull-out sofa, I'm told.
You want something? [clears throat.]
Oh, I'm going to AA meetings now.
Did I tell you that? Uh, it's-- it's court-ordered.
Uh, people seem to find the, uh, the exercises therapeutic.
There's one they call, uh, the "inventory.
" You make a list of all the people you've hurt, all the people you've disappointed.
I know there's no one I've hurt as much as you, Libby.
And I'm sorry.
For everything I've done.
[sniffs.]
Let's call it even.
Do you really think all those years that I just sat here making lunches and vacuuming the carpets while you were working late? [scoffs.]
First, there was Robert.
You remember Robert.
Coral's brother? The first time, we didn't even make it to the bedroom.
He took me right there on the kitchen floor.
Anybody walking by could have seen us.
But I wanted him so badly, it didn't even matter.
Then, there was Paul.
There is not a room in this house where Paul and I didn't make love.
Certainly, there was this room.
[ soft music .]
Every inch of it, really.
There was the rug.
Up against the bar.
On this sofa.
Paul wanted to marry me, take me away.
The kids too.
And I should have gone.
I should have gone.
So, if you want to feel sorry for someone, I would suggest feeling sorry for yourself.
[car honks.]
That would be your taxi.
I'm flattered by the offer, but I'm-- I'm very happy with my practice.
Really? Really? You don't get tired of the same people, the same problems, year after year? With the protocols that we've developed, we can transform patient's lives in a matter of weeks.
You do know that there are psychologists in St.
Louis far more qualified than I am for this job.
You're a Yale undergrad with a PhD from Columbia.
Plus, in my case, everything you told me as a patient was spot-on.
I was full of excuses, like you said.
Living in denial of the consequences of my own behavior.
You told me what I needed to hear.
And as a result, you've sorted out your life, have you? [chuckles.]
Please think about it.
If I have a change of heart, I will call you.
Well good luck with the slots.
[exasperated sigh.]
Sorry to bother, but I was wondering if you had any tips for my first day.
You are the expert, obviously, when it comes to working with Bill, so Well, my first tip would be to call him Dr.
Masters.
[chuckles.]
But other than that, you're his partner now.
You'll find your own way of working together.
Also, I know that you are interviewing for another staff psychiatrist, and I-I have a friend, a family friend, who I think would be perfect for the role.
Perfect? That's a strong word.
He's young, but he is very accomplished.
Oh, well, I already have a long list of candidates to see today, but, uh, I suppose we can try to squeeze him in.
Why don't you give Betty his information? Of course.
[knocking.]
How's the bachelor pad? [exhales deeply.]
I feel if I moved to Mars, you would still stalk me.
One of the perks of driving with me to the first meeting of the day is you get to make the coffee.
I'm not going.
So I'll make the coffee, but that means you setting up the chairs.
I just told you, I'm not going.
Fine.
If you're not going, I'm not going.
Wh-- what-- what do you want from me, exactly? Because let me be perfectly clear, I will not, uh, uh, take inventory, or-- or make amends, or say anything, ever, in any AA meeting.
All I want is to be left alone.
[cat meows.]
I can wait.
[cat meows.]
Oh, for Christ's sakes.
[breathing heavily.]
[cat meows.]
[sighs.]
Imagine finding out the only person you've trusted, the one person whose loyalty you never even thought to question, has been lying to you for years.
And the worst thing is, you-- you can't even be angry with her.
Because for every time she's lied to you, you know you've lied to her, uh, a hundred times.
A thousand times.
We talking about your ex-wife? [exhales sharply.]
I broke her heart.
[ soft music .]
And I can't change that.
I can't change the fact that my ki-- my kids hate me.
I can't change anything.
My husband didn't speak to me for a year.
Not a word.
I ask him how his day was.
Nothing.
Tell him I loved him.
Nothing.
I asked for forgiveness.
Got on my knees and begged.
He'd just look at me.
Some days, I wanted to kill him.
Or myself.
And then I'd remember that what he was doing to me was nothing compared to what I did to him.
All those people in those meetings are all tormented in the same way.
The same sorry, not sorry, the same anger and remorse.
Both at the people who've harmed them and at the people they've harmed.
When you take both lists and you lay them side by side, you put the aggrieved up against the aggressors, the [exhales sharply.]
the weird thing is, it's the same names on both lists.
[cat meows.]
Hi.
Art Dreessen.
Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.
Pleasure to meet you.
Actually, we've met before.
I was at the symposium you and Dr.
Masters led at Princeton on sexology and behaviorism.
Oh.
You probably don't remember, but I did ask you a question, what single quality did you think all great psychologists had in common? The ability to treat a patient without any judgment is usually my standard answer.
And that was it.
You said, if a patient walks in your door, and he says he's currently having a sexual relationship with a seal, your first question should be, "Do you prefer the north or the south side of the island?" Oh.
You know, I don't remember exactly what I said.
Well, it left a strong impression on me.
And since I prefer the north side of the island, when Nancy said you and Dr.
Masters were looking for psychiatrists, I pleaded with her to get me in.
And you and Dr.
Leveau, you grew up together? We went to medical school together at McGill.
Nancy grew up in Montreal, just a few miles from campus.
So Nancy would invite me to stay with her family for the holidays.
My father works for the government.
They move him around every few years.
I was born in Singapore, raised in Virginia.
Hmm.
And it says that you have an MD in psychiatry.
You didn't pursue an advanced degree? I was under the impression that a medical degree was advanced.
Well, we're primarily considering applicants with PhDs for this job.
I'm so sorry that Dr.
Leveau didn't mention that.
[sighs.]
You know, I've always found the more degrees on a psychiatrist's walls, the higher the probability he's either a charlatan or a horse's ass.
Or both.
And after school, you went to The Kinsey Institute.
I did a research fellowship there.
Any particular area of focus? Marriage.
Specifically, the role of sex in marriage.
As you can imagine, your book was my bible.
Hmm.
I went through two copies.
The first got so dog-eared, the pages feel out.
Well, that's very flattering.
But, as I said, uh, we are primarily considering applicants with more advanced credentials.
I understand, Mrs.
Johnson.
I'm just honored you're considering me at all.
Nervous? No, not nervous.
I'm-- I'm ready for this.
Uh, I was going to suggest that you take the lead in the exam room.
Walk the Connollys through the basics of sensate.
You may touch, rub, massage, or kiss anywhere on your partner's body, aside from the genitals and breasts.
Did you want to add anything, Dr.
Masters? You might also remove the slippers.
But I-I thought that we agreed that my-- my feet are off-limits.
We did.
And through the sensate therapy, we hope to refocus your husband's desire on to more acceptable parts of your body, but if that refocusing leads to his hiding his desire, then that desire becomes something else.
A secret.
A secret in a marriage is very hard to survive.
You have a better chance if you can find your pleasure together.
You know, meet each other halfway.
Uh, I just-- I don't think that I can do that.
All I'm asking is that you try.
[ soft music .]
If you're uncomfortable in bare feet, we could always try it in your Vivier pumps.
Or not.
[scoffs.]
[exhales sharply.]
- [clears throat.]
- What if I just touched your knees.
Well, you don't know how perfect they are.
[chuckles.]
My knees? Everything.
The line of your calves.
The curve of your ankle.
You have the smoothest soles.
Exquisite arches.
Mmm.
- Your toes.
- Dale.
- Your long - Dale.
Slender toes.
I mean, that doesn't-- that doesn't feel awful.
Mmm.
Oh, my God, Dale.
- [breathing heavily.]
- [moaning.]
[both breathing heavily.]
- Oh, Dale.
- [moaning.]
Don't.
It's too-- too weird.
[moaning.]
Betty said you wanted to see me? I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the lab this afternoon.
With Mr.
and Mrs.
Connolly? With you, actually.
There is-- there is a real danger in this work, observing a couple in their most intimate moments.
Uh, it's only natural that the observers can, from time to time, find themselves experiencing a certain erotic charge of their own.
I see.
Uh, if they're not careful, they can begin to mistake the intimacy of the couple behind the glass for a kind of intimacy between themselves and their partner.
I know that I agreed to wait for you to call me, but I suppose I'm not very patient when I know what I want.
Clearly.
But I have not changed my mind.
Neither have I.
[Nancy.]
You want me to fill it out? I would like us both to fill it out.
Together.
It's our intake questionnaire.
Touches on every aspect of a patient's sexual makeup, their psychological history, their fantasies.
It's essential that our relationship remain strictly professional.
Now the best way to ensure that is that we are completely transparent with one another.
There can be no secrets between us.
So, who's going to reveal what to whom first? I'm flattered that you've followed my career so closely.
Here you are.
Well, it would have been impossible not to.
Every time I turn my head, you're on a different magazine cover.
[chuckles.]
And, I, uh, I did read your book.
Mm.
What did you think? I thought if all the people that bought this book and actually read it, I'm gonna be out of a job.
[chuckles.]
There I was, out of luck.
He came in about four seconds.
17-year-old boys not being known for their endurance.
So you didn't achieve orgasm? Not that first time, no.
And then camp was over the next day, and I never saw him again.
When did you first I was 18.
She sat next to me in Advanced Calculus.
Did you love her? [scoffs.]
I doubt I understood the meaning of the word.
You understand the work.
We have an excellent rapport.
[exhales sharply.]
In which case, the most responsible thing for me to do is take myself out of the running.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm just-- I'm not comfortable working with a former patient.
That is a-a boundary that I can't cross.
Mm, it's only a boundary if you allow it to be one.
[groans.]
All right.
I didn't expect you to understand.
Who was the first, then? The first woman you really loved? Uh, sh-- she was, uh, a sister of a friend.
Dody was her name.
Well, uh, Geraldine, but, uh, only her mother called her that.
To everyone else, she was Dody.
Anyway, she, uh, she moved on, and it ended.
Next topic, uh, current frequency of sex.
If we're being honest with each other, Virginia, you have a certain disregard for professional and personal boundaries, and this is not the first time that I have seen this from you.
Wow.
I am curious now as to what it is that you are referring to.
The fact is we had crossed a line, yeah.
He's 15 years older.
And my professor, and in the end, he was forced to resign.
His wife left him.
And he lost everything, his children.
Did you continue seeing him? I transferred schools.
Then I met my husband the following year.
Well, do you remember how we first met? You came to me under an assumed name presenting yourself as suffering from symptoms you did not have.
I was attempting to help a patient.
Yes, and, yes, your pattern now is exactly the same as it was then, yes.
Wow, my pattern? I wasn't even aware that I had a pattern.
[chuckles.]
Oh, yes.
And I see it in my practice all the time.
I would call it rationalization.
Whatever the patient does, they find a way to rationalize it to convince themselves that they're not to blame.
Oh, no.
Oh.
That's very interesting.
The last time I saw you, you were having an affair with a married man.
The husband of a woman you considered a friend.
And yet, you felt no remorse.
Because you had been unfaithful in your own marriage? Yes.
Was your wife unfaithful? She was it turns out.
Uh, have you ever been unfaithful in-- in your marriage? I have.
And you suspect that your husband has been unfaithful as well? I do, yes.
I-I really had no intention or dredging any of-- of this up.
I-I-I I think I've had too much to drink.
And yet, all this does is prove to me why you are the perfect candidate for the job.
[scoffs.]
Your honesty.
Fearlessness.
[chuckles.]
And not to mention, your understanding of me.
[chuckles.]
Well, I don't know about all that.
Believe me, I know.
How about we find someplace else to continue this conversation? So I was wondering one other thing.
Uh, it isn't on the questionnaire.
When I did my internship with Dr.
Scully, there were rumors about you and Mrs.
Johnson.
So were you ever involved sexually? Since we're being completely honest with each other? Uh, no.
Ever since my wife died, I've-- I've been alone to [sighs.]
this was a terrible mistake.
Don't worry.
I will not breathe a word of this to the America Psychiatric Association.
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, God.
[chuckles.]
I really shouldn't be drinking like that.
It is interesting though, how you immediately rationalize your decision.
I wonder if that's a pattern for you.
You're very good at judging other people, Dr.
Madden.
Assigning labels, and arranging them in little boxes.
But what do you really know about you, for example? Sitting there in your-- in your boxer shorts.
Maybe it's not so easy to observe your own behavior, your own shortcomings.
For that matter, what do you really know about me? What I've had to overcome in my life.
The enormous sacrifices that I have had to make to get on all of those magazine covers.
I am very good at my job because I don't judge.
But given your limitations, I think it's probably best that we take your name out of consideration for the position at the clinic.
Wouldn't you agree? [ soft music .]
[door slams.]
I hope you're not gonna make a habit of this, stopping by unannounced.
Well, no, no, no.
But I-I-- Oh, I feel like things were left unsettled after we spoke last night.
I don't feel unsettled at all.
Except by your clothes.
What are you wearing? I didn't sleep a wink.
I can see that.
I'll admit what you told me last night, it's, uh [exhales sharply.]
it's very painful.
[ soft music .]
But I realize now it is much better that you found some pleasure somewhere, even if it wasn't with me.
[sighs.]
We were married, Bill.
We should have found our pleasure together.
I know.
It's just there's so much that I missed out on.
An entire world out there.
You're not dead.
[chuckles.]
No just 40.
[dishes clatter.]
Honey, are you hungry? I was thinking of making some eggs.
I already ate.
Well, then why don't I make some French toast? That way, it can be dessert for you and dinner for me.
I'm not staying here tonight.
I'm moving in with Dad.
Oh, Tessie, please.
Can we not do this tonight? You don't have to do anything.
But I have to take care of myself.
No, no, no.
Honey, wait.
I understand that you're upset with me, but I took your advice.
I saw a psychiatrist.
- You did? - Yes.
What did he say? He said, for the most part, that people are doing the best that they can.
And that's really all they can do.
That is what I'm doing.
So if that is not good enough It isn't.
It isn't.
I'm sorry.
[sighs.]
Virginia? Libby.
Welcome home.
Coffee, please.
Here you are.
Great minds think alike.
[chuckles.]
I've actually been meaning to call you to thank you for-- for helping my dad with the baby while I was away.
Oh, that.
I remembered that Lisa liked to be held stomach-down when she was a baby, so I tried that.
Well, you were a saint to do it.
I've actually been meaning to call you too.
To congratulate you.
You are married now? Yes, uh, it happened very quickly.
But you're happy? Very.
We both are.
Good for you.
[sighs.]
I really don't know what to say, Libby.
Other than, um other than I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about Bill.
[chuckles.]
Yes, well I keep thinking about that pact that we made.
Do you remember that? I thought we were so clever, what we'd come up with.
Seemed foolproof.
We only made one tiny mistake, and we left out Bill, the one person who could derail everything.
I've also been thinking if you and I had met somewhere else, um, on an airplane or in a diner, would we still have been friends? I'm sure we would have.
I suppose we'll never know.
[chuckles.]
The only thing we ever really had in common was Bill, and now, not even that.
Oh, I'm not so sure that matters.
So we are friends? Of course we're friends, Libby.
I'm glad.
Uh, what are you doing here? Me? Oh, um, I'm going to work.
[phone rings.]
Mrs.
Masters? Uh, I thought our next appointment wasn't until Tuesday.
I'm not here for an appointment.
I am here for a job.
I can't afford to have an attorney whose office looks like it's been hit by a hurricane.
[chuckles.]
You need a secretary.
Someone to keep you organized.
- I can start right away.
- [phone ringing.]
[laughing.]
We're three blocks from the office.
Nobody's gonna see us.
Just wait, uh, a few minutes after I'm gone.
I just don't want to come in too close together.
Wish me luck on my first day.
Good luck, baby.
Hey, you'll be great.
Dr.
Dreessen, I'm so glad this worked out.
And I'm glad you looked beyond all those fancy degrees - and chose me.
- Ah, well, like you said, the more degrees, the more likely he's a horse's ass.
Uh, Dr.
Dreessen, this is Dr.
Masters.
- You already know Dr.
Leveau.
- A pleasure.
Of course.
Dr.
Masters and I have been going over the current patient files.
It might be most useful if we review them all together.
Let's begin.
[ The Turtles' "Happy Together" .]
The Paulsons are coming in at 9:00 AM for their first appointment.
Uh, Dr.
Leveau and I have a follow-up appointment with the Connollys in mind.
All right, then Dr.
Dreessen and I can take the Paulsons.
[Art.]
You know, I believe I've already reviewed that file, so I assume Mrs.
Johnson and I and hold her tight so happy together I can't see me lovin' when you're with me, baby the skies will be blue for all my life me and you and you and me no matter how they tossed the dice it had to be the only one for me is you and you for me so happy together I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life when you're with me, baby the skies will be blue for all my life