Metalocalypse (2006) s02e01 Episode Script
Dethecution
Aah! Be blind.
So, are you still getting those headaches? I'm fine.
All right, all right, you stubborn son of a bitch.
Hey, are you still having a hard time remembering.
what happened after the After my mission.
Everything's murky, and then there's just a blank space.
And your colleague? Cardinal Ravenwood.
They said he died of a heart attack.
And the nightmares? I just need to get back to work.
All right, my friend.
Here's a prescription for you.
And, hey, tell me if you start remembering anything, all right? # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! # # I'm Ticking For The Dethklok! Dethklok! # # Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree # # Toki Wartooth, not a bumblebee # # William Murderface Murderface Murderface # # Pickles the drummer # # Doodily doo, doodily doo # # Nathan Explosion # We are now in the middle.
of a record-setting global economic depression.
It has been months since the legendary metal band Dethklok.
was allegedly attacked by fans in the Gulf of Danzig.
believe that these dangerous events had forced.
the band to completely reconsider public appearance.
It pains me that I do not have the ability.
to bring Dethklok back to the public and therefore, I give you this.
Gentlemen, I have the recording schedules right here.
You'll see that we need to get started.
on the new record pretty soon, so Uh, nothing? Can you just at least ask us how we're doing.
or something before you start with all this robotic crap? Yeah you're all like, "here's the schedule" and "now, get to work, you ugly humps.
" You're like a robot.
You're like an emotionless robot.
Yeah, he is a robot.
You're a robot.
Robots are not to be trusted.
Okay, fine.
How are all of you? Hows are we's? We's in the middle of having a dinners meal.
That's hows we am.
Toki, you may clear the table when you feel that it's time.
Any of you guys mind if I mace this stupid turkey? No, go ahead.
I don't want no more.
Aah! Take that, you stupid turkey! Right in your face.
Uh, I'm sorry.
What is that? Oh, it's a pelvic-thrust mace belt.
Yeah, pelvic-thrust mace belts.
Now, we stand feet shoulder width apart.
One pelvic thrust.
And then out comes the mace.
Blind.
Oh, you blinded my balls.
That That actually burns, horribly.
- Oh, you know it! - Well, ow.
Well, that's great even though the idea of macing someone is to actually.
get it in their eyes and not in their, uh testicles because it doesn't really do anything.
Could you just please get out of here? You have to get back to work and into the studio make another record, so start thinking about that.
Oh, yeah? Well, start thinking about this! Actually, I had that table had that table I had that table permanently affixed to the floor.
Don't you take away my ability to have tantrums, all right? That you cannot have, all right, you robot? I must say.
that I have never seen you this reclusive and moody before but there must be something we can do to get you guys.
back out there playing shows.
But what if there are fans out there who want to kill us? Well, there won't be.
I have a proposal.
I think you'll be interested.
since your concern with security has increased.
A number of criminals are to be executed soon and the prison system has asked you.
to perform at this execution because No.
Pass.
And they want you to pick how they're executed.
Oh! Oh! Darn! That's awesome! That's really awesome! Is this, uh something you would consider doing? Ugh! Yeah! But it's got to be really brutal.
They're calling it a 21-gun suicide salute.
By coinciding their official return to the public.
with the biggest single act of capital punishment.
in recorded history.
These prisoners are being called the worst of the worst and they're all to be executed.
Criminals from as far away as Australia and Thailand.
have traveled here to be part of this event.
I consider it an honor to be killed before Dethklok.
Dethklok rules! Kill me! But some prisoners don't feel the same.
The now-famous cannibalistic baby murderer Alfred Belmer known for killing and eating up to 274 babies and toddlers had this to say.
Dethklok is scum! It's repulsive to the ear.
That's what it is.
And so we wait, as all of the world does.
Several hundred have died from heatstroke and dehydration but still, they wait.
It's an earthquake! It's Dethklok! Let the party begin.
# Fire! # # Fire! # It's almost my birthday! # Fire! # Oh, dear god, what is that? # Say your goodbyes # # That was your life # # You'll pay all your penance # # Later get the death sentence # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # It has crashed through the wall.
The prisoners are escaping.
And they're off running now! Eat this rock, you.
Yeah! And here lies the bloody aftermath.
of history's worst prison escape.
I don't know if the country.
could ever come back from this horrible tragedy.
Stocks are climbing a record turnaround for our economy especially with a new Dethklok record on the horizon.
Thank you, Dethklok.
On behalf of America, thank you.
- Die! - Hit it! Yeah, yes! Good job, Pickles.
Thanks.
Aah! You know, mace turkeys ain't that bad.
It tastes stingy.
It makes my tongues numbs but, yeah, it's good.
It's good for lunch meat, you know if you're on the go like me.
I'm on the go usually.
You wanted to talk to me? Oh, yeah.
Sit down.
No, thank you.
I'll stand.
Oh, we We wanted to say we're sorry.
There, there you go.
Get out of here.
You're sorry.
for releasing dangerous criminals back into the streets? No, about calling you a robot.
TOKl: You're not a robot.
You're not a robot.
- Not a robot.
- No, you are not.
And we know that must have made you feel bad.
Mm-hmm.
And listens you's the best butler.
we's ever had, so we no want you's to quit.
I'm uh, not a butler.
Never mind.
That's all, then? That's it.
I mean, uh, we're glad you forced us out here again.
You know, it felt good.
A couple things I would have done differently You know You mean like not blind the stage driver.
and crash it into a prison of dangerous criminals? No, that was a happy accident.
I was talking about the lighting you know changing that up a little bit not by much, just slightly you know, 'cause the mood wasn't totally captured, not totally.
Very well.
And I want those turns you know Murderface and Toki's down a little bit in the main mix.
Yeah, just little things, you know.
I wasn't crazy about my new boots either.
Comfort while playing is really important.
Yeah, it is.
It is, but no big deal.
Hey, you'll get them next time.
But, oh, hey hey.
Yes? Keep up the great work.
See you later.
Goodbye.
Oh, and remember, start thinking about that new record.
Robot! Gentlemen, it appears as if Dethklok is back.
# Fire! # # Fire! # # Fire! # # Fire! # Chirp.
So, are you still getting those headaches? I'm fine.
All right, all right, you stubborn son of a bitch.
Hey, are you still having a hard time remembering.
what happened after the After my mission.
Everything's murky, and then there's just a blank space.
And your colleague? Cardinal Ravenwood.
They said he died of a heart attack.
And the nightmares? I just need to get back to work.
All right, my friend.
Here's a prescription for you.
And, hey, tell me if you start remembering anything, all right? # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! # # I'm Ticking For The Dethklok! Dethklok! # # Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree # # Toki Wartooth, not a bumblebee # # William Murderface Murderface Murderface # # Pickles the drummer # # Doodily doo, doodily doo # # Nathan Explosion # We are now in the middle.
of a record-setting global economic depression.
It has been months since the legendary metal band Dethklok.
was allegedly attacked by fans in the Gulf of Danzig.
believe that these dangerous events had forced.
the band to completely reconsider public appearance.
It pains me that I do not have the ability.
to bring Dethklok back to the public and therefore, I give you this.
Gentlemen, I have the recording schedules right here.
You'll see that we need to get started.
on the new record pretty soon, so Uh, nothing? Can you just at least ask us how we're doing.
or something before you start with all this robotic crap? Yeah you're all like, "here's the schedule" and "now, get to work, you ugly humps.
" You're like a robot.
You're like an emotionless robot.
Yeah, he is a robot.
You're a robot.
Robots are not to be trusted.
Okay, fine.
How are all of you? Hows are we's? We's in the middle of having a dinners meal.
That's hows we am.
Toki, you may clear the table when you feel that it's time.
Any of you guys mind if I mace this stupid turkey? No, go ahead.
I don't want no more.
Aah! Take that, you stupid turkey! Right in your face.
Uh, I'm sorry.
What is that? Oh, it's a pelvic-thrust mace belt.
Yeah, pelvic-thrust mace belts.
Now, we stand feet shoulder width apart.
One pelvic thrust.
And then out comes the mace.
Blind.
Oh, you blinded my balls.
That That actually burns, horribly.
- Oh, you know it! - Well, ow.
Well, that's great even though the idea of macing someone is to actually.
get it in their eyes and not in their, uh testicles because it doesn't really do anything.
Could you just please get out of here? You have to get back to work and into the studio make another record, so start thinking about that.
Oh, yeah? Well, start thinking about this! Actually, I had that table had that table I had that table permanently affixed to the floor.
Don't you take away my ability to have tantrums, all right? That you cannot have, all right, you robot? I must say.
that I have never seen you this reclusive and moody before but there must be something we can do to get you guys.
back out there playing shows.
But what if there are fans out there who want to kill us? Well, there won't be.
I have a proposal.
I think you'll be interested.
since your concern with security has increased.
A number of criminals are to be executed soon and the prison system has asked you.
to perform at this execution because No.
Pass.
And they want you to pick how they're executed.
Oh! Oh! Darn! That's awesome! That's really awesome! Is this, uh something you would consider doing? Ugh! Yeah! But it's got to be really brutal.
They're calling it a 21-gun suicide salute.
By coinciding their official return to the public.
with the biggest single act of capital punishment.
in recorded history.
These prisoners are being called the worst of the worst and they're all to be executed.
Criminals from as far away as Australia and Thailand.
have traveled here to be part of this event.
I consider it an honor to be killed before Dethklok.
Dethklok rules! Kill me! But some prisoners don't feel the same.
The now-famous cannibalistic baby murderer Alfred Belmer known for killing and eating up to 274 babies and toddlers had this to say.
Dethklok is scum! It's repulsive to the ear.
That's what it is.
And so we wait, as all of the world does.
Several hundred have died from heatstroke and dehydration but still, they wait.
It's an earthquake! It's Dethklok! Let the party begin.
# Fire! # # Fire! # It's almost my birthday! # Fire! # Oh, dear god, what is that? # Say your goodbyes # # That was your life # # You'll pay all your penance # # Later get the death sentence # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # # D-d-d-d-d-d-die # It has crashed through the wall.
The prisoners are escaping.
And they're off running now! Eat this rock, you.
Yeah! And here lies the bloody aftermath.
of history's worst prison escape.
I don't know if the country.
could ever come back from this horrible tragedy.
Stocks are climbing a record turnaround for our economy especially with a new Dethklok record on the horizon.
Thank you, Dethklok.
On behalf of America, thank you.
- Die! - Hit it! Yeah, yes! Good job, Pickles.
Thanks.
Aah! You know, mace turkeys ain't that bad.
It tastes stingy.
It makes my tongues numbs but, yeah, it's good.
It's good for lunch meat, you know if you're on the go like me.
I'm on the go usually.
You wanted to talk to me? Oh, yeah.
Sit down.
No, thank you.
I'll stand.
Oh, we We wanted to say we're sorry.
There, there you go.
Get out of here.
You're sorry.
for releasing dangerous criminals back into the streets? No, about calling you a robot.
TOKl: You're not a robot.
You're not a robot.
- Not a robot.
- No, you are not.
And we know that must have made you feel bad.
Mm-hmm.
And listens you's the best butler.
we's ever had, so we no want you's to quit.
I'm uh, not a butler.
Never mind.
That's all, then? That's it.
I mean, uh, we're glad you forced us out here again.
You know, it felt good.
A couple things I would have done differently You know You mean like not blind the stage driver.
and crash it into a prison of dangerous criminals? No, that was a happy accident.
I was talking about the lighting you know changing that up a little bit not by much, just slightly you know, 'cause the mood wasn't totally captured, not totally.
Very well.
And I want those turns you know Murderface and Toki's down a little bit in the main mix.
Yeah, just little things, you know.
I wasn't crazy about my new boots either.
Comfort while playing is really important.
Yeah, it is.
It is, but no big deal.
Hey, you'll get them next time.
But, oh, hey hey.
Yes? Keep up the great work.
See you later.
Goodbye.
Oh, and remember, start thinking about that new record.
Robot! Gentlemen, it appears as if Dethklok is back.
# Fire! # # Fire! # # Fire! # # Fire! # Chirp.