Metalocalypse (2006) s03e07 Episode Script
Dethsiduals
Today's case is being called the music trial of the decade Dethklok vs.
Dethklok and it's made its way here to the Supreme court.
William Murderface and Toki Wartooth have taken Explosion, Pickles, and Skwigelf to war over songwriting residuals, the back-end profits on all their records.
Your honor, my clients make up 2/5 of the highest-selling death-metal band of all time, yet they are being treated like second-class citizens.
[ Spectators murmur .]
Murderface: Good people of the court, we believe we need to be treated fairly and to have an equal five-way split on all songwriting residuals.
Toki: Hey, whats ams residisuals? [ Spectators murmur .]
Murderface: Ah, Toki We're at the Supreme court and you have to ask that now? Look, they're just the little things that mean you get paid lots of money for writing songs like those guys.
Toki: Buts we don't even write songs.
How cans we gets reskipsuals? Murderface: Toki, shut up! Why are you sitting on their side?! We're suing them! [ Gavel bangs .]
Uh, your honors, please strike my stupid, idiot bandmate's comments from the record.
He's a Norwegian, and he doesn't have a great command on the language.
Toki: Hey, Murderface, we're nots gonna wins.
I already told you.
Why ams we askings for requipicles when we ain't songs writers? Nathan: People of the court, these guys are total dildos.
This is a waste of court time! [ Gavel bangs .]
Charles: Perhaps I can help us all to put an end to this.
Mr.
Murderface and Mr.
Wartooth do not contribute on a writing level, so they do not receive a writers credit, residuals, et cetera.
I've submitted all the contracts, signed by them, that show this.
Murderface: That's [bleep.]
Charles: They do, however, get a 2% back-end on record sales, and I don't have to tell you folks that, in this business, with this band, that's a great deal of money at the end of the fiscal year.
They're multi-billionaires.
[ Spectators murmur .]
Case closed.
Nathan: Picture time.
[bleep.]
you.
You two over there.
You back there.
Hey, Jim [bleep.]
you, too.
Murderface: This isn't fair! Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Murderface: No hard feelings about the lawsuit, right, guys? Charles: And no hard feelings to either of you two.
Sorry about assassinating your characters earlier, Toki, Murderface.
You understand Murderface: Whatever! Toki: No problems.
Charles: Well, we still have to work together.
Nathan: [ grunting .]
Murderface: What's that, Nathan? I hear you grunting.
Why don't you just say what's on your mind? Nathan: You just sued us! Why don't you guys get a ride home in a [bleep.]
Different car? Murderface: Why should I? I mean, come on we're all going to the same place.
Whats wrong with carpooling? Nathan: I just don't want to be around you.
I feel like you're gonna [bleep.]
Sue me for breathing too loud or something.
Murderface: Well, I would if I could collect, but it's pretty clear how things are! [ All sigh .]
New caller Roy Cornickleson, head of Crystal Mountain Records.
Hey, hey, boys! Good to see you all together again! Looks like you finally buried the hatchet.
I'm calling again now that all this business is over to remind you of the new deadlines for your song demos.
Charles: Roy, as you can see, things have been a little crazy.
But maybe we can work out I'm gonna need it by the 17th, no later.
Goodbye.
Nathan: 17th is gonna be tough.
Pickles: Yeah, we got that winery opening to go to.
Skwisgaar: Yeah, the ones in France.
Nathan: Shh! Toki: Whats? Gos to France? Nathan: Nothing.
Toki: How comes me and Murderface ain'ts inviteds to France? Skwisgaar: It's a little out of your price range, okay? So we didn't wants to talks to you about it.
Murderface: Oh, that is so [bleep.]
up.
We're [bleep.]
going to France! Pickles: Why? So you can go and complain about prices and guilt us into paying for everything? Murderface: Yeah, that works for me.
Nathan: Okay, that's it.
Pull the car over! Murderface, get out.
You're walking.
[ Car door closes .]
[ Soft music plays .]
Murderface: How do you like that? Left out in the cold.
Everyone's mad at Murderface everyone's being mean to me nobody gives me residuals [bleep.]
dick individuals [bleep.]
those dicks why can't they see I'm the [bleep.]
foundation of this five piece? I lay down the soul I lay down the heart but they to [bleep.]
tear me apart don't you see that nothing in this world's worth working for if it don't come easy, then it's dumb and [bleep.]
boring you better serve it up on a silver [bleep.]
platter I ain't breaking a sweat 'cause it don't really matter nothing in this world shouldn't not be easy if it means my comfort's challenged it will make me queasy no, I ain't gonna do stuff give a bro a break why is stuff so hard? why can't everything be easy? Why can't it be easy, man? Man, even even singing this song is hard.
They got to make everything hard! I should hire someone to sing this song.
That would be easy.
Then I'd have to tell them how to sing it.
And then I'd have to pay him.
Where am I gonna get the money? See? Everything leads into everything else, and it makes it so hard, man.
That's why people kill themselves.
[ Guitar riff plays .]
Skwisgaar: Okay, so riff is somethings like that's, you know? Nathan: Oh, yeah, sure.
And I'll drum up some nonsense words to tide the label over, and we can act all offended and [bleep.]
when they don't know what we're saying.
Cool? Pickles: Yeah, cool.
That always buys us some time.
Murderface: We got to get some songs in this record, Toki.
Toki: Well, I don'ts gots nothings! Murderface: Well, neither do I! Check it out.
I did some research.
And it says here, if we're in the room while the songs are being created and we chime in enough and confuse them, we can get a bigger share of the publishing.
Toki: So whats do we dos? Murderface: We talk a lot and confuse them, you idiot! Toki: Oh [bleep.]
you.
Skwisgaar: So, I plans on doing this riff for a couple of bars, you know, and, uh Pickles: Yeah, and I'm just blasting through that.
Okay, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Skwisgaar: Okays, so I'm playing this for a little whiles, and I change Murderface:I change Both: I change the riff Down to like a half time Like a half-time part that I comes up withs, you know There's somethings in a different key Uh Together: Thens that's where that concludes that parts Of the sections.
Skwisgaar: Okay.
Murderface: You all guys catch that? Me and Toki and Skwisgaar just wrote that thing.
Knubbler? You wanna write that down? Sorry, Pickles, Nathan.
Yeah, we got it! Dick: Uh, okay, I'm sorry.
What do you want me to write down? Murderface: That! That thing we just came up with Me, Toki uh, notarize it, whatever! [bleep.]
collaboration.
Dick: Okay, I'm writing down that you repeated everything that Skwisgaar said after he said it.
Toki: Ooh, and mes toos! I repeats everythings also! Dick: Hold on, hold on.
Then Toki repeats everything afterwards, too.
Okay? Toki: Thanks yous! Murderface: No, no! We were all collaborating on that part together! Nathan: No! That wasn't collaboration.
That was repetition.
You repeated everything he was saying.
We're not [bleep.]
Idiots, okay? Murderface: [bleep.]
fine! Then I'm writing my own bass part! No [bleep.]
help from you guys! Got it? Solo credit! [ Strums bass guitar .]
Uh, show me that again? Skwisgaar: [ scoffs .]
It's just ridings on the low e.
It's likes a gallops.
We does it in every single songs.
Murderface: I can't see what you're doing! Skwisgaar: I shows you how to does it.
Murderface: No, you don't.
I'm doing it me.
I see what you're doing.
See, I'm gonna nail this [bleep.]
You [bleep.]
will see what I bring to the table.
My lords, your food has arrived.
Murderface: Oh, what is that? [ Sniffing .]
Is that is that olives? Is that the olive topping on some pita bread? That's good stuff, man.
Dick: Murderface, can we just get this down?! It's been like 4 hours, baby! Murderface: I got it, man! Just press record! Dick: All right, here it comes.
[ Bass guitar strums .]
Murderface: There, did it.
One-take Willie.
[ Bass guitar plays sour note .]
I'm getting some of that pita Nathan: Sounded like [bleep.]
Pickles: Yeah, sounded [bleep.]
awful.
Murderface: I can hear you! It's fine! [bleep.]
fix it in pro tools! Dick: Uh, I don't know, there, Willy.
It's uh Murderface: I-I'm sorry.
A-are you being insubordinate? Do you want to tell Charles that you're insubordinate?! 'Cause I [bleep.]
will! [bleep.]
try me.
Try me.
Fix it.
I'm taking five.
I'm [bleep.]
starving over here.
Dick: Oh, this is gonna it's gonna be a long night, baby! [ Rhythmic guitar plays .]
Okay [ Sighs .]
Here's what I got.
Check it out.
[ Off-tempo bass guitar plays .]
That's all that I could do.
I mean, I'm not a miracle worker.
What do you think, Murderface? Murderface: [ snoring .]
Skwisgaar: I'll just redoes it myself.
I'll just not sleeps for a few days, as usuals.
Nathan: Yeah, yeah.
But, first, lets eat, okay? Charles: Guys, looks like you're working real hard.
That's great.
Your dethjet to France is now pre-boarding.
Nathan: These [bleep.]
guys.
It takes twice as long to record with them in the [bleep.]
room.
I mean, come on.
Skwisgaar: Well, we gots to satisfy theirs egos just so we can undoes everythings and tricks them into thinkings they plays on the records.
Pickles: All that [bleep.]
work just so they can turn around and [bleep.]
S sue us.
Nathan: At least we can just enjoy some wine in France, you know? Toki: Wells, how I'ms supposed to know its cost a 150 bucks just to gets in?! Nobodys tells me that! Pickles: I [bleep.]
knew it.
You fly all the way to [bleep.]
France just to not go to a [bleep.]
wine-tasting because you're too [bleep.]
cheap! Murderface: Well, I can't rationalize spending that kind of money not now, not with the way the economy is.
We'll wait outside.
Pickles: So wait.
So both of you are just gonna sit here and wait outside the entire time? Murderface: Well, what else are we gonna do? Go ahead, go in.
Have fun.
We'll be out here Not having any fun Standing.
Pickles: Ugh! Fine, come on, come on.
I'm paying for you.
Nathan: Pickles, no, don't.
Pickles: Just come on.
Toki: Oh, thanks, pickle! Murderface: Hey, buddy, are you sure about this? Pickles: Don't talk to me.
Just go inside.
Murderface: I just want to make sure it's okay.
You're doing this for you, right? Pickles: Go inside.
Murderface: Are you sure Pickles: Get inside! [ Glass shattering .]
Aah! Murderface: Check this out! Toki: Blah dah, do wazza dah! [ Jet passing overhead .]
Murderface: [ snoring .]
Nathan: Hey.
Murderface: Ow! Ow! Toki: Hey! Nathan: Wake up [bleep.]
.
Wake up! Pay attention.
No, look at me.
Listen, we can't take your bull [bleep.]
anymore.
We can't [bleep.]
Hhandle it.
We've given you a lot of chances, and you know what? We're kicking you out of the band! They can't kick us out of the band, can they? Charles: Well, yes, they can.
It's a majority-rule situation.
Think of it this way.
You're on suspension a month-long suspension and if, at the end of this term, everyone feels the same way, we'll go through with your departure, divide up the assets, et cetera.
But for now, you will live here, but you guys are both on musical suspension.
Murderface: You mean like I'm a [bleep.]
bad-ass cop who took things too far.
Charles: Sure.
Whatever.
Murderface: And now I got to turn in my gun and my badge? Charles: Well, uh, yes, actually.
Murderface: That's kind of cool, man.
Charles: In all seriousness, I would like you to turn in your instruments and your Dethklok badge.
Murderface: Well, I don't have a [bleep.]
Dethklok badge.
Charles: You were given one.
Murderface: Look, is there any way we can turn this thing around and just kick them out of the band and sue them or something? Charles: Look, guys, your problems are money-related, and you're being accused of not pulling your weight, and the obvious solution is for you to focus more on contributing when you're needed.
And if you need to make more money on the side while you're on suspension, well, there may be a way to do that, too.
Murderface: Oh [bleep.]
that contributing mumbo-jumbo cr What'd you just say about making money on the side? [ Singing indistinctly .]
Toki: Thats was outstandings! Yous has the whole package and great songs.
I can'ts believes yous guys ams unsigned.
If I hads a labels, I'd totally signs yous! Murderface: Toki, I've got it! How do we make money? Not do any work and reap all the publishing? We'll start our own record label! Congratulations.
You can now call your parents and safely say that you are Murdertooth recording artists Get Thee Hence.
Together: Yeah, boy! We got a record contract! I'm-a buy a octopus.
So where's our advance, son? Murderface: Uh, I'm sorry.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
Where's our [bleep.]
advance? You heard us? Murderface: Oh, the advance? Oh, you mean advance money! Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
Are you sure you're even a [bleep.]
label? Toki: Kinds of.
Murderface: Toki, shut up! We're the [bleep.]
real deal, bros! But, look, I mean, shouldn't we get a contract in place or something? You guys hear that [bleep.]
Backpedaling bull [bleep.]
[bleep.]
suits.
Murderface: What? No, man, we're not suits.
We're your bros! Toki, get my checkbook.
So, what like $5,000? What do I look like? A [bleep.]
hooker? Murderface: $15,000.
Keep coming.
Murderface: $30,000.
Unh-unh.
Murderface: $40,000? Pfft! Murderface: $50,000? $60,000? $70,000, $80,000, $90,000.
$100,000.
$110,000, $120,000, $130,000, $140,000, $150,000, $160,000, $170,000, $180,000, $190,000, $200,000, $210,000, $220,000, $230,000, $240,000, $250,000, $260,000, $270,000, $280,000, $290,000, $300,000.
$500,000, and that is my final offer.
$510,000.
$520,000, $530,00, $540,000.
$600,000? $700,000, $800,000, $900,000.
$1 million.
Toki: So, boys, gots lots of works to do.
We needs to records an albums and puts it ons the market! Together: Yeah, boy! Toki: Wowee! So, yo, driver! Murderface: Driver? Where we be [bleep.]
staying? Where are we staying? We tired! Better be the Waldorf Astoria or something.
Toki: Where ams they staying? Answers them.
Murderface: Uh, stay where you always stay.
You guys got homes.
Stay there.
We a signed band! You should be putting us up! I ain't got no electricity.
I already told you that.
[bleep.]
labels.
So lame.
We should've not signed with these fools.
Murderface: We're starting a label.
Toki: Yeah, ands the first bands we signing is the hots new band Get Thee Hence.
Nathan: Get Thee Hence? [bleep.]
name.
Pickles: Sounds like Christian rock.
Get Thee Hence! Skwisgaar: Wow, what does the guys with the dreads does? I'm the [bleep.]
deejay, bitch.
Yo, I'm the singer/rapper.
I could do both, son! Nathan: Rap/rock band with a deejay? All: Yeeeah! That's us [bleep.]
Nathan: Somebody tell this band what year it is.
Murderface: Ha ha! They're kidding.
He just means the business is tough.
That's all.
Nathan: I mean, I haven't heard a note from you guys, and I don't like anything about you.
That's what I mean.
And him Murderface is a failure.
You should know that.
You're in horrible hands.
Murderface: Yeah, well, uh, sorry, but Dethklok's the past! Murdertooth records is the future.
[bleep.]
all of you.
We're moving on, and look at you all Atill working on the same old tired Dethklok [bleep.]
Toki: Yeah, desperatelys tryings to holds onsto their dream! Nathan: [ clears throat .]
Pickles: Where are you guys getting all the money to start your label? Murderface: None of your business.
Nathan: Are you using your own money? Murderface: Uh, wha Pickles: You're not actually using your own money, are you? Murderface: Ah, man, uh, you're lucky I'm on suspension or I'd answer that.
Here are your sleeping quarters, my good men.
No need to tip.
Everything's been taken care of, courtesy of the label.
What are we, hired help? [bleep.]
this [bleep.]
Murderface: Guys, what's wrong? Would you sleep here? Murderface: No.
I have my own bedroom.
You know what, guys? We should just [bleep.]
bounce, man.
I thought this label was serious.
Murderface: So, I'm having some mattresses brought up, but maybe Toki could let you stay in his room, too? Nah, this is a'ight.
Murderface: Hey, great.
Uh, now as you can see, I have a lot of incredibly expensive historical arti [ Shattering .]
[ Sighs .]
Toki: Okay, pals! Gets somes sleeps! Tomorrows we works on thats records! [bleep.]
yeah, man! That guy is cool.
Thanks for the room! Murderface: It's my room, actually.
Yo! Assistant dude! Murderface: Me? Yeah, dildo! Murderface: I'm not the assistant.
I'm the label head whatever [bleep.]
Send up some [bleep.]
booze right [bleep.]
now.
Murderface: Uh, guys, uh, we got a big day tomorrow.
Maybe you shouldn't party too hard.
I booked and reserved studio time, and it's All I hear is, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
" GoGetUsSomeBooze.
Yeah, and blow.
Murderface: Okay.
I'll see what I can do.
Pickles: Dudes, we're blowing through songs at record speeds.
We wrote and recorded 47 songs, and it's 2:15 P.
M.
! Something like that usually takes about a year and a half! Skwisgaar: Maybe because there ams nobodys cloggings up the process.
Pickles: It's like kicking Murderface and Toki out of the band may have been the best thing we've ever done.
[ Groans .]
Murderface: What the [bleep.]
happened here? Toki: Well [bleep.]
dudes.
Leaves us alone, man.
We was ups all nights partyin'! Murderface: Uh, Toki, can I talk to you for a second? What are you doing? We have to record these guys! Toki: Why? Who gives a [bleep.]
Murderface: Toki! The label! Murdertooth records! Toki: Oh, yeah, that's right.
Murderface: Focus! We're [bleep.]
out so much money, Toki.
Do you understand that?! Toki: Ow! You hurting my arms! Murderface: Look, if this cd sells, we'll be in the clear.
You sent in those songwriting contracts, didn't you? Toki: Oh, yeah.
Murderface: Oh, good! Thank God.
Hoo! 'Cause that's important! [ Guitar strums .]
[ Glass clinks .]
Okay, stop.
He's, uh is he on heroin? Toki: Yeps.
Most of this bands has a majors heroins problems.
Theys all ridings that white horse.
Murderface: Are you serious? They're all heroin addicts? Toki: Yeah, looks at the track marks.
Murderface: I thought they just had a lot of arm freckles! [bleep.]
Don't they know the order of [bleep.]
You get famous first.
Then you become a heroin addict! Come on, guys! Toki: Looks likes we've gots to record ourselves.
Murderface: Damn it, you're right.
Get some paper and pencils.
We got to write their album.
Let's get to work.
Time is money.
[ Metal music plays .]
Toki: Here it comes agains.
Murderface: Let's get lucky! [ Metal music continues .]
I need a break.
I'm starving.
You want something? Toki: [bleep.]
Yeah.
I'm starvings.
Murderface: No.
The food.
Man, I don't feel so good.
Oh, me neither.
Neither do I.
Yo, I think I'm gonna throw up, man.
[ All vomiting .]
Yeah, throw up on the floor.
Let that asshole clean it up.
[ Intense metal music plays .]
Nathan: Stop the track.
Pickles: Dude, it just sounds too happy.
It sounds like we're too content.
Nathan: You're right.
[bleep.]
It's missing something.
Something stupid.
Something fat.
Something disagreeable.
It's missing It's missing negativity.
Pickles: It just came too [bleep.]
easy.
I knew it was too good to be true! Nathan: Listen to that! Listen.
[ Music continues .]
It sounds like we're having fun.
Pickles: We were having fun.
Skwisgaar: It sounds dildos.
It sounds like a bunch of guitars we're buryings because they ams wrongs.
Nathan: Yeah.
[ Music stops .]
[bleep.]
Pickles: Well, what are we gonna do? Nathan: Anybody care if I delete these 47 songs? Skwisgaar: No.
Pickles: No.
[ Electricity crackles .]
Murderface: Ugh! [ Retching .]
[ Crying .]
[ Retching .]
[ Crying .]
Hey, yo, cleaning man, we need some cash now [bleep.]
Yeah, retardo.
Murderface: I'm the head of the label.
Didn't I just give you guys a huge advance? We [bleep.]
Spent it! We need money now! Let's go! Worst-case scenario, we can steal some of this studio equipment and sell it on the streets.
In the meantime, tell your boss Toki we need another advance [bleep.]
Charles: Well, it's been a month, and you've completed your musical separation.
And now it's time to make a decision.
Nathan, Skwisgaar, Pickles, you wrote, recorded, and deleted completely missed your deadline.
Toki and Murderface, you started a label, produced, wrote, and recorded an entire record, but today's the day.
You're either in or you're out of the band.
Gentlemen, the choice is yours.
Murderface: Help me.
I'm drowning here.
I just want them out of my life.
I want my life back.
Just help me.
I was cleaning puke and I just help me out.
Just do some come on, man! I just want my life back! Nathan: Murderface, you're a piece of [bleep.]
But we need you back.
You see, we're too good without you.
It kind of sucks dick.
Give him whatever he wants.
And, uh, Toki, uh You know, whatever.
It's making news all around the world.
Dethklok, for the first time in years, is allowing a band to open up for them! And who is this band? From new metal label Murdertooth records comes Get Thee Hence.
Their cd debuts the night of the show.
What a push for this brand-new unknown band! Murderface: Toki, we did it! I never thought it would, but all this hard work is actually paying off! Toki: Oh, yeah, babes.
Murderface: And we're finally gonna clean up on the back-end because we own all their [bleep.]
Publishing! Actually, you don't own anything.
Sorry to inform you boys, but all publishing goes to my clients.
Murderface: But but but how? We did all the paperwork! Didn't we, Toki? Toki: Yeah, I dids all the paperworks myself.
Yeah, you filled out everything in Norwegian, idiot.
That means you get nothing.
[ Laughing .]
Yo, sorry, dudes.
That's business.
Know what I'm sayin'? Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Murdertooth recording artists Get Thee Hence! Yo, yo, yo, yo! What up, what up?! We're the Get Thee Hence! Yeah! Yo, what the [bleep.]
is up with you people, man? This is the real [bleep.]
You heard me? [ Crowd booing .]
Aah! Yo, yo, that hurts! Aah! Oh, God! Get off my [ Record needle scratching .]
Aah!
Dethklok and it's made its way here to the Supreme court.
William Murderface and Toki Wartooth have taken Explosion, Pickles, and Skwigelf to war over songwriting residuals, the back-end profits on all their records.
Your honor, my clients make up 2/5 of the highest-selling death-metal band of all time, yet they are being treated like second-class citizens.
[ Spectators murmur .]
Murderface: Good people of the court, we believe we need to be treated fairly and to have an equal five-way split on all songwriting residuals.
Toki: Hey, whats ams residisuals? [ Spectators murmur .]
Murderface: Ah, Toki We're at the Supreme court and you have to ask that now? Look, they're just the little things that mean you get paid lots of money for writing songs like those guys.
Toki: Buts we don't even write songs.
How cans we gets reskipsuals? Murderface: Toki, shut up! Why are you sitting on their side?! We're suing them! [ Gavel bangs .]
Uh, your honors, please strike my stupid, idiot bandmate's comments from the record.
He's a Norwegian, and he doesn't have a great command on the language.
Toki: Hey, Murderface, we're nots gonna wins.
I already told you.
Why ams we askings for requipicles when we ain't songs writers? Nathan: People of the court, these guys are total dildos.
This is a waste of court time! [ Gavel bangs .]
Charles: Perhaps I can help us all to put an end to this.
Mr.
Murderface and Mr.
Wartooth do not contribute on a writing level, so they do not receive a writers credit, residuals, et cetera.
I've submitted all the contracts, signed by them, that show this.
Murderface: That's [bleep.]
Charles: They do, however, get a 2% back-end on record sales, and I don't have to tell you folks that, in this business, with this band, that's a great deal of money at the end of the fiscal year.
They're multi-billionaires.
[ Spectators murmur .]
Case closed.
Nathan: Picture time.
[bleep.]
you.
You two over there.
You back there.
Hey, Jim [bleep.]
you, too.
Murderface: This isn't fair! Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Murderface: No hard feelings about the lawsuit, right, guys? Charles: And no hard feelings to either of you two.
Sorry about assassinating your characters earlier, Toki, Murderface.
You understand Murderface: Whatever! Toki: No problems.
Charles: Well, we still have to work together.
Nathan: [ grunting .]
Murderface: What's that, Nathan? I hear you grunting.
Why don't you just say what's on your mind? Nathan: You just sued us! Why don't you guys get a ride home in a [bleep.]
Different car? Murderface: Why should I? I mean, come on we're all going to the same place.
Whats wrong with carpooling? Nathan: I just don't want to be around you.
I feel like you're gonna [bleep.]
Sue me for breathing too loud or something.
Murderface: Well, I would if I could collect, but it's pretty clear how things are! [ All sigh .]
New caller Roy Cornickleson, head of Crystal Mountain Records.
Hey, hey, boys! Good to see you all together again! Looks like you finally buried the hatchet.
I'm calling again now that all this business is over to remind you of the new deadlines for your song demos.
Charles: Roy, as you can see, things have been a little crazy.
But maybe we can work out I'm gonna need it by the 17th, no later.
Goodbye.
Nathan: 17th is gonna be tough.
Pickles: Yeah, we got that winery opening to go to.
Skwisgaar: Yeah, the ones in France.
Nathan: Shh! Toki: Whats? Gos to France? Nathan: Nothing.
Toki: How comes me and Murderface ain'ts inviteds to France? Skwisgaar: It's a little out of your price range, okay? So we didn't wants to talks to you about it.
Murderface: Oh, that is so [bleep.]
up.
We're [bleep.]
going to France! Pickles: Why? So you can go and complain about prices and guilt us into paying for everything? Murderface: Yeah, that works for me.
Nathan: Okay, that's it.
Pull the car over! Murderface, get out.
You're walking.
[ Car door closes .]
[ Soft music plays .]
Murderface: How do you like that? Left out in the cold.
Everyone's mad at Murderface everyone's being mean to me nobody gives me residuals [bleep.]
dick individuals [bleep.]
those dicks why can't they see I'm the [bleep.]
foundation of this five piece? I lay down the soul I lay down the heart but they to [bleep.]
tear me apart don't you see that nothing in this world's worth working for if it don't come easy, then it's dumb and [bleep.]
boring you better serve it up on a silver [bleep.]
platter I ain't breaking a sweat 'cause it don't really matter nothing in this world shouldn't not be easy if it means my comfort's challenged it will make me queasy no, I ain't gonna do stuff give a bro a break why is stuff so hard? why can't everything be easy? Why can't it be easy, man? Man, even even singing this song is hard.
They got to make everything hard! I should hire someone to sing this song.
That would be easy.
Then I'd have to tell them how to sing it.
And then I'd have to pay him.
Where am I gonna get the money? See? Everything leads into everything else, and it makes it so hard, man.
That's why people kill themselves.
[ Guitar riff plays .]
Skwisgaar: Okay, so riff is somethings like that's, you know? Nathan: Oh, yeah, sure.
And I'll drum up some nonsense words to tide the label over, and we can act all offended and [bleep.]
when they don't know what we're saying.
Cool? Pickles: Yeah, cool.
That always buys us some time.
Murderface: We got to get some songs in this record, Toki.
Toki: Well, I don'ts gots nothings! Murderface: Well, neither do I! Check it out.
I did some research.
And it says here, if we're in the room while the songs are being created and we chime in enough and confuse them, we can get a bigger share of the publishing.
Toki: So whats do we dos? Murderface: We talk a lot and confuse them, you idiot! Toki: Oh [bleep.]
you.
Skwisgaar: So, I plans on doing this riff for a couple of bars, you know, and, uh Pickles: Yeah, and I'm just blasting through that.
Okay, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Skwisgaar: Okays, so I'm playing this for a little whiles, and I change Murderface:I change Both: I change the riff Down to like a half time Like a half-time part that I comes up withs, you know There's somethings in a different key Uh Together: Thens that's where that concludes that parts Of the sections.
Skwisgaar: Okay.
Murderface: You all guys catch that? Me and Toki and Skwisgaar just wrote that thing.
Knubbler? You wanna write that down? Sorry, Pickles, Nathan.
Yeah, we got it! Dick: Uh, okay, I'm sorry.
What do you want me to write down? Murderface: That! That thing we just came up with Me, Toki uh, notarize it, whatever! [bleep.]
collaboration.
Dick: Okay, I'm writing down that you repeated everything that Skwisgaar said after he said it.
Toki: Ooh, and mes toos! I repeats everythings also! Dick: Hold on, hold on.
Then Toki repeats everything afterwards, too.
Okay? Toki: Thanks yous! Murderface: No, no! We were all collaborating on that part together! Nathan: No! That wasn't collaboration.
That was repetition.
You repeated everything he was saying.
We're not [bleep.]
Idiots, okay? Murderface: [bleep.]
fine! Then I'm writing my own bass part! No [bleep.]
help from you guys! Got it? Solo credit! [ Strums bass guitar .]
Uh, show me that again? Skwisgaar: [ scoffs .]
It's just ridings on the low e.
It's likes a gallops.
We does it in every single songs.
Murderface: I can't see what you're doing! Skwisgaar: I shows you how to does it.
Murderface: No, you don't.
I'm doing it me.
I see what you're doing.
See, I'm gonna nail this [bleep.]
You [bleep.]
will see what I bring to the table.
My lords, your food has arrived.
Murderface: Oh, what is that? [ Sniffing .]
Is that is that olives? Is that the olive topping on some pita bread? That's good stuff, man.
Dick: Murderface, can we just get this down?! It's been like 4 hours, baby! Murderface: I got it, man! Just press record! Dick: All right, here it comes.
[ Bass guitar strums .]
Murderface: There, did it.
One-take Willie.
[ Bass guitar plays sour note .]
I'm getting some of that pita Nathan: Sounded like [bleep.]
Pickles: Yeah, sounded [bleep.]
awful.
Murderface: I can hear you! It's fine! [bleep.]
fix it in pro tools! Dick: Uh, I don't know, there, Willy.
It's uh Murderface: I-I'm sorry.
A-are you being insubordinate? Do you want to tell Charles that you're insubordinate?! 'Cause I [bleep.]
will! [bleep.]
try me.
Try me.
Fix it.
I'm taking five.
I'm [bleep.]
starving over here.
Dick: Oh, this is gonna it's gonna be a long night, baby! [ Rhythmic guitar plays .]
Okay [ Sighs .]
Here's what I got.
Check it out.
[ Off-tempo bass guitar plays .]
That's all that I could do.
I mean, I'm not a miracle worker.
What do you think, Murderface? Murderface: [ snoring .]
Skwisgaar: I'll just redoes it myself.
I'll just not sleeps for a few days, as usuals.
Nathan: Yeah, yeah.
But, first, lets eat, okay? Charles: Guys, looks like you're working real hard.
That's great.
Your dethjet to France is now pre-boarding.
Nathan: These [bleep.]
guys.
It takes twice as long to record with them in the [bleep.]
room.
I mean, come on.
Skwisgaar: Well, we gots to satisfy theirs egos just so we can undoes everythings and tricks them into thinkings they plays on the records.
Pickles: All that [bleep.]
work just so they can turn around and [bleep.]
S sue us.
Nathan: At least we can just enjoy some wine in France, you know? Toki: Wells, how I'ms supposed to know its cost a 150 bucks just to gets in?! Nobodys tells me that! Pickles: I [bleep.]
knew it.
You fly all the way to [bleep.]
France just to not go to a [bleep.]
wine-tasting because you're too [bleep.]
cheap! Murderface: Well, I can't rationalize spending that kind of money not now, not with the way the economy is.
We'll wait outside.
Pickles: So wait.
So both of you are just gonna sit here and wait outside the entire time? Murderface: Well, what else are we gonna do? Go ahead, go in.
Have fun.
We'll be out here Not having any fun Standing.
Pickles: Ugh! Fine, come on, come on.
I'm paying for you.
Nathan: Pickles, no, don't.
Pickles: Just come on.
Toki: Oh, thanks, pickle! Murderface: Hey, buddy, are you sure about this? Pickles: Don't talk to me.
Just go inside.
Murderface: I just want to make sure it's okay.
You're doing this for you, right? Pickles: Go inside.
Murderface: Are you sure Pickles: Get inside! [ Glass shattering .]
Aah! Murderface: Check this out! Toki: Blah dah, do wazza dah! [ Jet passing overhead .]
Murderface: [ snoring .]
Nathan: Hey.
Murderface: Ow! Ow! Toki: Hey! Nathan: Wake up [bleep.]
.
Wake up! Pay attention.
No, look at me.
Listen, we can't take your bull [bleep.]
anymore.
We can't [bleep.]
Hhandle it.
We've given you a lot of chances, and you know what? We're kicking you out of the band! They can't kick us out of the band, can they? Charles: Well, yes, they can.
It's a majority-rule situation.
Think of it this way.
You're on suspension a month-long suspension and if, at the end of this term, everyone feels the same way, we'll go through with your departure, divide up the assets, et cetera.
But for now, you will live here, but you guys are both on musical suspension.
Murderface: You mean like I'm a [bleep.]
bad-ass cop who took things too far.
Charles: Sure.
Whatever.
Murderface: And now I got to turn in my gun and my badge? Charles: Well, uh, yes, actually.
Murderface: That's kind of cool, man.
Charles: In all seriousness, I would like you to turn in your instruments and your Dethklok badge.
Murderface: Well, I don't have a [bleep.]
Dethklok badge.
Charles: You were given one.
Murderface: Look, is there any way we can turn this thing around and just kick them out of the band and sue them or something? Charles: Look, guys, your problems are money-related, and you're being accused of not pulling your weight, and the obvious solution is for you to focus more on contributing when you're needed.
And if you need to make more money on the side while you're on suspension, well, there may be a way to do that, too.
Murderface: Oh [bleep.]
that contributing mumbo-jumbo cr What'd you just say about making money on the side? [ Singing indistinctly .]
Toki: Thats was outstandings! Yous has the whole package and great songs.
I can'ts believes yous guys ams unsigned.
If I hads a labels, I'd totally signs yous! Murderface: Toki, I've got it! How do we make money? Not do any work and reap all the publishing? We'll start our own record label! Congratulations.
You can now call your parents and safely say that you are Murdertooth recording artists Get Thee Hence.
Together: Yeah, boy! We got a record contract! I'm-a buy a octopus.
So where's our advance, son? Murderface: Uh, I'm sorry.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
Where's our [bleep.]
advance? You heard us? Murderface: Oh, the advance? Oh, you mean advance money! Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
Are you sure you're even a [bleep.]
label? Toki: Kinds of.
Murderface: Toki, shut up! We're the [bleep.]
real deal, bros! But, look, I mean, shouldn't we get a contract in place or something? You guys hear that [bleep.]
Backpedaling bull [bleep.]
[bleep.]
suits.
Murderface: What? No, man, we're not suits.
We're your bros! Toki, get my checkbook.
So, what like $5,000? What do I look like? A [bleep.]
hooker? Murderface: $15,000.
Keep coming.
Murderface: $30,000.
Unh-unh.
Murderface: $40,000? Pfft! Murderface: $50,000? $60,000? $70,000, $80,000, $90,000.
$100,000.
$110,000, $120,000, $130,000, $140,000, $150,000, $160,000, $170,000, $180,000, $190,000, $200,000, $210,000, $220,000, $230,000, $240,000, $250,000, $260,000, $270,000, $280,000, $290,000, $300,000.
$500,000, and that is my final offer.
$510,000.
$520,000, $530,00, $540,000.
$600,000? $700,000, $800,000, $900,000.
$1 million.
Toki: So, boys, gots lots of works to do.
We needs to records an albums and puts it ons the market! Together: Yeah, boy! Toki: Wowee! So, yo, driver! Murderface: Driver? Where we be [bleep.]
staying? Where are we staying? We tired! Better be the Waldorf Astoria or something.
Toki: Where ams they staying? Answers them.
Murderface: Uh, stay where you always stay.
You guys got homes.
Stay there.
We a signed band! You should be putting us up! I ain't got no electricity.
I already told you that.
[bleep.]
labels.
So lame.
We should've not signed with these fools.
Murderface: We're starting a label.
Toki: Yeah, ands the first bands we signing is the hots new band Get Thee Hence.
Nathan: Get Thee Hence? [bleep.]
name.
Pickles: Sounds like Christian rock.
Get Thee Hence! Skwisgaar: Wow, what does the guys with the dreads does? I'm the [bleep.]
deejay, bitch.
Yo, I'm the singer/rapper.
I could do both, son! Nathan: Rap/rock band with a deejay? All: Yeeeah! That's us [bleep.]
Nathan: Somebody tell this band what year it is.
Murderface: Ha ha! They're kidding.
He just means the business is tough.
That's all.
Nathan: I mean, I haven't heard a note from you guys, and I don't like anything about you.
That's what I mean.
And him Murderface is a failure.
You should know that.
You're in horrible hands.
Murderface: Yeah, well, uh, sorry, but Dethklok's the past! Murdertooth records is the future.
[bleep.]
all of you.
We're moving on, and look at you all Atill working on the same old tired Dethklok [bleep.]
Toki: Yeah, desperatelys tryings to holds onsto their dream! Nathan: [ clears throat .]
Pickles: Where are you guys getting all the money to start your label? Murderface: None of your business.
Nathan: Are you using your own money? Murderface: Uh, wha Pickles: You're not actually using your own money, are you? Murderface: Ah, man, uh, you're lucky I'm on suspension or I'd answer that.
Here are your sleeping quarters, my good men.
No need to tip.
Everything's been taken care of, courtesy of the label.
What are we, hired help? [bleep.]
this [bleep.]
Murderface: Guys, what's wrong? Would you sleep here? Murderface: No.
I have my own bedroom.
You know what, guys? We should just [bleep.]
bounce, man.
I thought this label was serious.
Murderface: So, I'm having some mattresses brought up, but maybe Toki could let you stay in his room, too? Nah, this is a'ight.
Murderface: Hey, great.
Uh, now as you can see, I have a lot of incredibly expensive historical arti [ Shattering .]
[ Sighs .]
Toki: Okay, pals! Gets somes sleeps! Tomorrows we works on thats records! [bleep.]
yeah, man! That guy is cool.
Thanks for the room! Murderface: It's my room, actually.
Yo! Assistant dude! Murderface: Me? Yeah, dildo! Murderface: I'm not the assistant.
I'm the label head whatever [bleep.]
Send up some [bleep.]
booze right [bleep.]
now.
Murderface: Uh, guys, uh, we got a big day tomorrow.
Maybe you shouldn't party too hard.
I booked and reserved studio time, and it's All I hear is, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
" GoGetUsSomeBooze.
Yeah, and blow.
Murderface: Okay.
I'll see what I can do.
Pickles: Dudes, we're blowing through songs at record speeds.
We wrote and recorded 47 songs, and it's 2:15 P.
M.
! Something like that usually takes about a year and a half! Skwisgaar: Maybe because there ams nobodys cloggings up the process.
Pickles: It's like kicking Murderface and Toki out of the band may have been the best thing we've ever done.
[ Groans .]
Murderface: What the [bleep.]
happened here? Toki: Well [bleep.]
dudes.
Leaves us alone, man.
We was ups all nights partyin'! Murderface: Uh, Toki, can I talk to you for a second? What are you doing? We have to record these guys! Toki: Why? Who gives a [bleep.]
Murderface: Toki! The label! Murdertooth records! Toki: Oh, yeah, that's right.
Murderface: Focus! We're [bleep.]
out so much money, Toki.
Do you understand that?! Toki: Ow! You hurting my arms! Murderface: Look, if this cd sells, we'll be in the clear.
You sent in those songwriting contracts, didn't you? Toki: Oh, yeah.
Murderface: Oh, good! Thank God.
Hoo! 'Cause that's important! [ Guitar strums .]
[ Glass clinks .]
Okay, stop.
He's, uh is he on heroin? Toki: Yeps.
Most of this bands has a majors heroins problems.
Theys all ridings that white horse.
Murderface: Are you serious? They're all heroin addicts? Toki: Yeah, looks at the track marks.
Murderface: I thought they just had a lot of arm freckles! [bleep.]
Don't they know the order of [bleep.]
You get famous first.
Then you become a heroin addict! Come on, guys! Toki: Looks likes we've gots to record ourselves.
Murderface: Damn it, you're right.
Get some paper and pencils.
We got to write their album.
Let's get to work.
Time is money.
[ Metal music plays .]
Toki: Here it comes agains.
Murderface: Let's get lucky! [ Metal music continues .]
I need a break.
I'm starving.
You want something? Toki: [bleep.]
Yeah.
I'm starvings.
Murderface: No.
The food.
Man, I don't feel so good.
Oh, me neither.
Neither do I.
Yo, I think I'm gonna throw up, man.
[ All vomiting .]
Yeah, throw up on the floor.
Let that asshole clean it up.
[ Intense metal music plays .]
Nathan: Stop the track.
Pickles: Dude, it just sounds too happy.
It sounds like we're too content.
Nathan: You're right.
[bleep.]
It's missing something.
Something stupid.
Something fat.
Something disagreeable.
It's missing It's missing negativity.
Pickles: It just came too [bleep.]
easy.
I knew it was too good to be true! Nathan: Listen to that! Listen.
[ Music continues .]
It sounds like we're having fun.
Pickles: We were having fun.
Skwisgaar: It sounds dildos.
It sounds like a bunch of guitars we're buryings because they ams wrongs.
Nathan: Yeah.
[ Music stops .]
[bleep.]
Pickles: Well, what are we gonna do? Nathan: Anybody care if I delete these 47 songs? Skwisgaar: No.
Pickles: No.
[ Electricity crackles .]
Murderface: Ugh! [ Retching .]
[ Crying .]
[ Retching .]
[ Crying .]
Hey, yo, cleaning man, we need some cash now [bleep.]
Yeah, retardo.
Murderface: I'm the head of the label.
Didn't I just give you guys a huge advance? We [bleep.]
Spent it! We need money now! Let's go! Worst-case scenario, we can steal some of this studio equipment and sell it on the streets.
In the meantime, tell your boss Toki we need another advance [bleep.]
Charles: Well, it's been a month, and you've completed your musical separation.
And now it's time to make a decision.
Nathan, Skwisgaar, Pickles, you wrote, recorded, and deleted completely missed your deadline.
Toki and Murderface, you started a label, produced, wrote, and recorded an entire record, but today's the day.
You're either in or you're out of the band.
Gentlemen, the choice is yours.
Murderface: Help me.
I'm drowning here.
I just want them out of my life.
I want my life back.
Just help me.
I was cleaning puke and I just help me out.
Just do some come on, man! I just want my life back! Nathan: Murderface, you're a piece of [bleep.]
But we need you back.
You see, we're too good without you.
It kind of sucks dick.
Give him whatever he wants.
And, uh, Toki, uh You know, whatever.
It's making news all around the world.
Dethklok, for the first time in years, is allowing a band to open up for them! And who is this band? From new metal label Murdertooth records comes Get Thee Hence.
Their cd debuts the night of the show.
What a push for this brand-new unknown band! Murderface: Toki, we did it! I never thought it would, but all this hard work is actually paying off! Toki: Oh, yeah, babes.
Murderface: And we're finally gonna clean up on the back-end because we own all their [bleep.]
Publishing! Actually, you don't own anything.
Sorry to inform you boys, but all publishing goes to my clients.
Murderface: But but but how? We did all the paperwork! Didn't we, Toki? Toki: Yeah, I dids all the paperworks myself.
Yeah, you filled out everything in Norwegian, idiot.
That means you get nothing.
[ Laughing .]
Yo, sorry, dudes.
That's business.
Know what I'm sayin'? Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Murdertooth recording artists Get Thee Hence! Yo, yo, yo, yo! What up, what up?! We're the Get Thee Hence! Yeah! Yo, what the [bleep.]
is up with you people, man? This is the real [bleep.]
You heard me? [ Crowd booing .]
Aah! Yo, yo, that hurts! Aah! Oh, God! Get off my [ Record needle scratching .]
Aah!