Milo Murphy's Law (2016) Episode Scripts

N/A - Worked Day

1 [TITLE MUSIC] # Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # # Whoa, whoa # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # MILO: So, we're supposed to pick a career today? The job that we're gonna have for the rest of our lives? Today? When I was little, I wanted to be a journalist.
Or, queen of the universe.
You know, only one of those is actually a career.
When I was little, I wanted to be a robot.
And that's not a career at all.
Also, none of those are on the list.
But, what if I wanna be an ophthalmic laboratory technician? An optha what now? They make prescription eye glasses and contact lenses.
Milo, do you actually want to be an optha An ophthalmic laboratory technician.
And, no.
But, maybe, I don't know.
What if I wanna do all these things? I have to decide today? I already did.
Here, I wrote it in.
- Journalist slash queen of the universe.
- Now, it's a career.
And some of these don't even sound like real jobs.
"Animator?" I think it's a typo.
But, what if that is a real job? How will I ever decide? Welcome, children.
Our next Career Day speaker is - Milo's father, Mr.
Murphy.
- Hi, kids.
Mr.
Murphy is going to tell us what the city's Safety Inspector does.
- Mr.
Murphy.
- Come on, Dad, wow us.
As the city's key Safety Inspector, most of my job is just to show up.
When I'm around, anything that can go wrong, tends to.
And therefore, whatever safety precautions are in effect, - will be tested to the limit.
- So, what are the odds of something going wrong, while we're here? Are you kidding? Milo, his father in the same place.
Fan blades, water pipes [BEEPING] - 14:1.
- Really? - So, you wanna piece of that action? - Can I get another hard hat? And over here is the aeration tank.
It's kinda like a huge dish washer.
We should get one of those for our house.
Sure would help with.
How did your mother put it? - "The pile of hate in the sink?" - She's got a way with words.
[BARKING] Diogee, how did you get in here? - Diogee, go home.
- You heard him boy.
On your way.
[EXCLAIMING] Yes! So, burgers or Mexican food? First, we need to complete our mission.
Which is quite simple, actually.
All we have to do is, make sure that, that truck filled with pistachios, gets from A to B.
Literally from A Street, right here, where we are now, to the pistachio warehouse on B Street.
Then we can think about lunch.
And when we think about it, it will be Chinese.
You know what we should get? We should get breakfast burritos.
- That's breakfast inside of a lunch.
- Which is my very objection.
Huh, here's a job called middle management.
Though, I'm not sure why middles need to be managed.
Me neither.
I've never seen an unruly middle.
Just wait till you get to my age, boys.
I don't get it.
Any way.
Up here we have a real tree.
A drinking water supply hose that looks a little like George Washington.
[ROTORS STRAINING] [SCREAMING] [GASPS] Don't worry, guys, I got just the thing.
- ZACK: A snowman, really? - MILO: Hey, the raft is being repaired.
- Hey, snowman is an island.
- Come, there's room for everyone.
- Oh, no! - ALL: Diogee, go home! [ALL SCREAM] Don't worry, kids, we'll be fine once the high pressure water vents open.
[BUBBLING] All right, there's the driver, they're on the move.
Let's go.
Hurry! [PANTING] I should not have eaten all those wax lips.
How can you be so out of shape? You're wearing a track suit.
Well, you're wearing a top hat, how can you be so - I don't know, out of rabbits - Hmph.
Oh, no! The truck! Whoa! Do you get it? "Out of rabbits.
" - 'Cause you look like a magician - I get it Hey gather this, I'm literally riding your coat tail.
[BRAKE SCREECHES] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [THUDS] [MURMURING] It's the same thing every time.
If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
Excuse me, young man, your boss told me to tell you that he wants me to drive this truck to - the warehouse on B Street.
- Mr.
Roberson said that? - Yes, he also told me to tell you this - Ow! Ow! [GROANING] Come on, Dakota.
DAKOTA: Yeah, yeah, I'm way ahead of you.
Well, looks like I get the afternoon off.
Well, the water venting system seems to be working.
But, you're gonna wanna check the stability of the cat walk.
And [CLANGS] you're gonna want to replace this T-bolt.
Okay, Diogee, now you should go home.
Well, Safety Inspector is an exciting job.
Yeah, I guess so.
Which doesn't really narrow it down for me.
What am I gonna do? [GRUNTS] There are only two more stops.
TEACHER: Come on kids.
Time to visit Melissa's father at the fish hatchery.
Your father works at a fish hatchery? Yeah, I thought he was a fireman.
He is.
The fish hatchery is probably on fire.
Well, the fire's out and the fish are safe.
Oh yeah, that reminds me, Milo, you weren't here at the fish hatchery, this morning, were you? - Dad! - [SCOFFS] I kid.
But seriously, you weren't here, right? - Oh, Mr.
Chase, I'm flattered, but no.
- Okay, report finished.
Who'd like a practice run with the hose? I would! Who knows, I might wanna be a fireman! - Wait a minute, Milo, a fireman? - He said "might," Dad.
- But - MILO: How do I turn this thing [MILO SCREAMS] Just breathe.
Whoa! Christmas trees for sale.
[BELL RINGING] Get ahead of the Christmas run.
Christmas trees for Hurry, they're going fast, get them while Oh, forget it! So, we finally put out the fire.
And no one had anything to eat since that morning, so we stopped to buy some hot dogs, and then Burt goes, "Hey, we should just start" [CLEARS THROAT] Sorry, Chief, we're on it.
Whoa! Well, Milo, you're the first person in history - to ever start a fire, with water.
- Thanks.
Not really a compliment.
[SCREECHES] There, B Street, was that so hard? So, we're taking the pistachios to a steak sandwich place? This is supposed to be a pistachio storage facility.
You know what we should get? We should get a steak sandwich that's dinner inside of a different lunch.
- I don't understand, this is B Street.
- Yeah.
Let me see that.
Oh, here's your problem, we're supposed to be on B Street South.
That's clear on the other side of town.
We're on B Street North, see.
That's what this little S means.
B Street South.
If it was an 'N' it would be B Street North.
But, this is an S.
I get it! TEACHER: And our final stop for Career Day - is with Zack's mom, Dr.
Underwood.
- Hi, Zack's mom.
- Please, just call me Dr.
Zack's mom.
- Did you always know, you wanted to be a doctor, Dr.
Zack's mom? Milo, are you thinking about becoming a doctor? Yeah, maybe.
I've always wondered what it was like on the other side of the bandage.
- What's your specialty, Dr.
Zack's mom? - The really bloody stuff.
- ALL: Cool! - KID: Yeah But, since I can't show you that, how about I show you the state of the art MRI machine? Uh, Mr.
Draco? I'll need you to put your arms at your sides.
Not crossed over your chest like that.
Are you sure? This feel's so unnatural.
- NURSE: I'm sure.
- Well, you're the professional.
Now, this is where we monitor the Magnetic Resonance Imaging.
- Or MRI for short.
- Cool.
- Let me see - Quit pushing.
DR.
UNDERWOOD: Okay, kids, let's give you and this a little bit more space.
[CRACKLING] The MRI is basically a giant magnet It controls a very Um, so, technically we're never supposed to put that lever up to 10.
[ALARM RINGING] DRACO: Oops, my bad, I'll uncross my arms.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] [CLANGS] I should just leave.
Okay, who wants to see the emergency exit? I do.
[MUSIC] How did you fit an anchor in your back pack? You don't know everything about me.
[SCREAMS] Hey! Who stole my door? [WHOOSHING] [MUSIC PLAYING] BOTH: We're finally free! [CLINKING] [SIPPING] DRIVER: Yeah, I'm gonna be working late, so leave me some leftover.
Never mind.
I'll be there in 20 minutes Uh-oh.
This can't be good.
Oh, so this is why they wanted me to keep my arms on my sides.
Wait! Why did they leave this window open? So, hospital food it is.
[SHATTERS] That's lunch, inside of a hospital.
Hey, Mr.
Hartunian.
How do you like, being a bus driver? How do you like to sit down? - MILO: I like it just fine, thanks.
- Arms on your sides, arms on your sides, arms on your sides Well, what do you think, Milo? - Did you narrow it down at all? - No.
I wanna do everything.
And I can't do everything.
You can, if you're a journalist slash queen of the universe.
I guess.
But I still have one more stop to make.
- Mom! - BRIGETTE: Out here, Milo.
- Almost done? - Ah, work in progress.
Diogee.
Go hom Oh, wait a minute, you are home.
[SNIFFING] - Good boy.
- So, how was Career Day? I'm just confused.
Seems like, it's really important to pick a career.
- I just don't know what to pick.
- Well, don't.
Do everything.
Being an architect is my second career and I've had plenty of jobs before that.
You shouldn't worry too much about it today.
Just being Milo, that's a full time job, wouldn't you say? Yeah, sure keeps me busy.
Besides, I already know what you're going to be.
- What? - You're going to be extraordinary.
Oh, Mom! Okay, where's your anchor? # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # [MUSIC] [FALCON SCREECHES] Here we are.
Okay, kids, remember, we're just a phone call away at the Outlet Mall.
We only have to pay half price when it breaks.
Thanks, Milo's mom and dad.
- Thanks, guys, have a good time.
- So long.
Oh, didn't realize we still had her.
Bye, Sara, be sure to look up from your phone once in a while.
Ah, the great outdoors.
The sky is blue, the fields are wide open The bargains are close by.
BRIGETTE: You kids have fun.
It's just so peaceful.
[WHISTLES] Welcome to the Nowhere Desert Dude Ranch.
Where you will experience [AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING] The serenity of the wild frontier.
Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh! I think this is the undiscovered shooting location of episode 576 of Dr.
Zone.
See? Definitely a similar beaut shaped beaut.
- Am I pronouncing that correctly? - I can't wait to see what my fellow Dr.
Zone fans have to say about this.
Ah, Dr.
Zone fan.
You're gonna wanna check out that corral over there.
Awesome! Oh, I gotta document this.
I'll find you later.
- Use helmets.
- Got 'em.
Oh, I mean on the horses.
- Do they even make helmets for - Got 'em.
COWBOY: Those are our three best horses.
Princess, Buttercup and Psycho.
[NIEGHING] Whoa, boy! Any chance of us getting a calmer horse? Well, Psycho there is usually our calmest horse.
That's why we named him Psycho, for the irony.
We crack ourselves up.
Not that I don't enjoy danger, which I don't, but, do they have other stuff to do here? Like other stuff that we might not necessarily get injured doing.
- Archery, white water rafting - No, no - zip lining, cattle roping - No, no - straws making - Oh, that sounds fun.
- On an open bonfire.
- Okay Maybe there's a hayride? It goes around the open bonfire.
- All right, horseback riding, it is.
- I'm ready! [NEIGHING] Whoa, boy! What's that up ahead? [MUSIC] You know, every time a masked bandit comes furiously charging towards me I'd like to take a deep Whoa! [NEIGHS] Whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa - Look out! - Stop, stop, stop.
[SCREAMING] [YELLS] It's a good thing I had the lacrosse stick.
What is a masked bandit even doing on a dude ranch? Well, he can't get away with that at the Outlet Mall.
[NEIGHING] [ANGELIC MUSIC] [HEART BEATING RAPIDLY] Hey, I'm Jackie.
I pull that with all our guests.
Did I get your hearts racing? - Yes, indeed.
- Sure did.
- [CHUCKLES] A little.
- That's how I like it.
After all, I am the great-great- great-great-granddaughter - of Calamity Jane.
- Really? I am the great-great- great- great-grandson of the original Murphy.
- Of Murphy's Law.
- Never heard of it.
- Really? - Yeah.
I make a point of not knowing any laws.
Well, it just means that, anything that can go wrong, - will go wrong.
Around me.
- Awesome.
Do you guys want my version of the tour? [CHUCKLES] I don't know.
The two of us together? Yeah, we already hit our danger quota, right, Zack? I wasn't saying that.
Why would I say that? I love danger.
Danger is in my blood.
It's my fuel.
Danger is my middle name.
Well, it's Milo's middle name.
But it could be my middle name, I could change it.
[CHUCKLING] I'm afraid we've lost him.
Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think this is the exact pasture they used.
[CAMERA CLICKS] Oh, that is the exact hay! Oh, those are the exact cows! [SARA MOOING] [COWS MOOING] Yep, yep, hey, I know you guys.
Say, "Cheese.
" Or, maybe that's rude to say to a cow.
BOY: Yeah, they look like the same cows.
We saw your post, we came right away.
Of course, as the official moderators of the Dr.
Zone fan site, we will have to verify the authenticity before we post anything.
Hey, guys! Wait, I thought I thought we were dressing up.
[FALCON SCREECHES] So, what school do you go to? What grade are you in? I've gone to a lot of different schools, so Well, I was being home schooled, but I got kicked out.
- Rattle snake? - Oh, sure.
Don't suck on it.
There's still venom in those fangs.
Oh, good thing you said something [IMITATES MUNCHING] - I don't know if we should go up here.
- Why not? Because all these signs say don't go up here.
Rock slide possible.
Well, Zack doesn't seem worried.
And he's the cautious one.
Oh, don't worry about the signs.
They just say possible.
How often does the worst thing that can happen, actually happen? Yeah, we'll be fine.
[ALL SCREAMING] ZACK: Oh, no! Out on the branch.
[SCREAMING] [EXCLAIMS] I can't believe the rock slide actually happened! - My beaut believes it.
- What a rush! So, back to camp for s'mores? - No, we got more adventuring to do.
- Yeah, more that.
Scorpion pop? You can suck on this one.
Oh! [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] [EXCLAIMING] I was hoping the cliff was the finale.
You can't keep danger away but why seek it out? Oh, I remember when Zack used to say stuff like that.
Yeah, way back this morning.
Hey, boy band, a little more wrist if you wanna rope that dummy.
- Way to go, danger zone.
- I work with rope a lot.
MELISSA: Uh, Milo, that's no dummy.
- Now, this is a rodeo.
- Everyone split up.
[ROARS] Whoa! [SNARLS] [SCOFFS] That was a close call.
- Although, I'm sure he's harmless.
- Nope, he's a killer.
But I assumed the shackles would hold him.
Well, you know what they say about assuming.
Makes a bull's lunch out of you and me.
- Next activity! - Yeah! I can't wait.
Looks like one dummy got roped for the whole afternoon.
[CAMERAS CLICKING] [MUSIC] Now, me in front of it.
- Now, me in front of it.
- Now, me in front of it.
Are you sure? I mean this could be any wall.
Josh, why can't you accept it? This is the actual wall.
Remember what the wall was like, there at the background, - out of focus.
- The wall.
Here's some of that serenity we were talking about.
- I thought you'd like it.
- That is so thoughtful of you.
Are those storm clouds gonna be a problem? - Maybe we shouldn't tempt fate.
- Well, you know what they say.
Tempting fate is like a rainbow.
It's too beautiful, knocks you upside down like a leprechaun.
No one has ever said that.
[THUNDER RUMBLING] Let's try to get to shore before - it starts raining.
- [SCOFFS] No big.
Deal breaker! [SCREAMS] Steering wheel, piggy bank Look out, sharp boulder.
Whoo-hoo.
Hey, this is a blast! - No, this is not a blast! - Everyone, stay close.
- Jackie, the waterfall.
- Whoa! Whoa! Help! [SHATTERS] Hold on, I've got you [SCREAMING] - Thanks, Milo.
- Yeah, thanks.
Cool, time for target practice.
- Last one there is the target.
- Yeah, so that girl's crazy, right? - Welcome back.
- Thank goodness.
I guess I just wasn't seeing Jackie as she really is.
Well, to be fair, when she was first charging at us, with a bandit mask on, she seemed, uh, less insane? Nah, she was always crazy.
And though, some of you may have doubted me, Josh, my instincts never let me down.
I knew this was the very dirt where they shot Dr.
Zone.
Shot him? No, sir.
Dr.
Zone's our favorite old race horse.
We'd never shoot him.
Though he is getting long in the tooth.
[NEIGHS WEAKLY] - What? - A horse? Oh, but he said Dr.
Zone, I just assumed Wait, I thought this was "the dirt, " you mean, this is just dirt? Thanks for wasting our time, Sara.
Wait, wait! A racehorse named Dr.
Zone.
That's worth noting, right? [GROANS] Photo-op.
[SIGHS] Well, that was a delightful day.
Loaner clothes, after disaster ruined yours? Yep.
Stuff you broke and had to buy? Yep.
Thankfully at half price.
- Bye, boy band.
- Bye, cool ranch.
Stay safe.
Not likely.
Sara! [GASPS] Why do I keep forgetting about her? Well, I guess the shooting location of episode 576, remains an unsolved mystery.
Oh, no, they filmed that episode here.
Why do you think we named this horse Dr.
Zone? What?! Oh yeah I knew it I was right I said knew it I was right I knew it Oh, hey, oh, yeah, I knew it I knew it I was right [TITLE MUSIC] # We're all livin' in it # CHORUS: # Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # MILO: Oh, thanks, everybody.
That is so motivational! # Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # # Whoa # # I'm not sitting here watching the world turn # You know I'd rather spin it # Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # # It's my world and we're all livin' in it #