Phineas and Ferb s03e10 Episode Script
Candace Disconnected (15 min)
by ashirogi27 You know what, Ferb? This is gonna be the most interesting thing we've ever built.
And the tallest.
Yes, and the tallest.
Yes, and the tallest.
And the heaviest.
Wow, we're chatty today, aren't we? I know, Stace.
I can't believe I lost another one! I could go out of my mind without it! Candace, I've got something for you.
Candace, I've got something for you.
Stacy, I'm gonna have to call you back.
Stacy, I'm gonna have to call you back.
My new phone is here.
Whee! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! So, how many apps does it run? Can I play MP3s and send texts to Stacy at the same time? How 'boutâ Hey.
Wait a minute.
All this phone does is make phone calls! All this phone does is make phone calls! Sorry, Candace.
You've lost four phones in four months, so I got you the cheapest replacement I could find.
If you lose this one, it's life without a phone for Candace Flynn.
If you lose this one, it's life without a phone for Candace Flynn.
"Life without a phone for Candace Flynn"? But But, that's me! Fire in the hole! Phineas and Ferb, will you keepâ Phineas and Ferb, will you keepâ Nooo! Oh! Well, how about that? It's all right.
Hey, kid, where do you want this ridiculously heavy lead box? Hey, kid, where do you want this ridiculously heavy lead box? Just set them down over there somewhere.
Not on my phone! On second thought, bring 'em over here.
On second thought, bring 'em over here.
Sure thing, kid.
Thanks a lot.
No sweat, kid.
It's blinking.
Maybe it's still okay! Oh, hey.
I need you to sign this invoice.
Okay.
And here you go.
And here you go.
Thanks, kid.
Oh, forgot my pen.
Here you go.
Thanks again.
It had a cap.
Oh, sorry.
Take it easy, kid.
Oh, no! Phonsie! Oh, what've they done to you? Hello? Hello, can anyone hear me? I can hear you, Candace.
Oh, great, it still works.
Yeah, Phineas, I was just telling you thatâ Oh, no! Is that your new cell phone? It used to be.
Wait a second.
You guys are good with wires and gadgets and stuff.
Can you fix it? Well, it took almost forty years to perfect the technology that makes the modern cell phone possible.
So, give us thirty-eight minutes.
So, give us thirty-eight minutes.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today before we do the other thing that we were gonna do today.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today before we do the other thing that we were gonna do today.
Hey, where's Perry? Hey, where's Perry? Carl! What? Look, I'm getting messages from some diabolically clever hacker, who goes by the sinister initials "TTYL".
Look, I'm getting messages from some diabolically clever hacker, who goes by the sinister initials "TTYL".
Look, I'm getting messages from some diabolically clever hacker, who goes by the sinister initials "TTYL".
Look, I'm getting messages from some diabolically clever hacker, who goes by the sinister initials "TTYL".
Sir, that means "talk to you later".
Sir, that means "talk to you later".
If you scroll down, you can see that message was from me.
Oh, I-I see.
Oh, I-I see.
That's, uh Huh.
It's very clever.
Good morning, Agent P.
Uh, beat it, Carl.
I'm on.
Sources tell us that Doofenshmirtz is "ROTFL".
Sources tell us that Doofenshmirtz is "ROTFL".
We don't know what that means, but it sounds dangerous.
Sir, ROTFL means Sir, ROTFL means Not now, Carl.
I'm briefing Agent P.
So, get out there and good hunting.
Oh, no! Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q-.
It means your thumb is on the Q-key, sir.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! But Charlene, I'm waiting for my exercise show to start, so I can't go get Vanessa from class.
But Charlene, I'm waiting for my exercise show to start, so I can't go get Vanessa from class.
Well, why can't you pick her up? Well, how long does this surgery take? What about afterwards? Okay, okay.
All right, I'll do it.
I'll figure something out.
Yes.
Yes, I promise.
Good bye.
Sheesh.
Maybe I can make some sort of Inator that would pick her up for me! Hey, Phineas.
What'cha doin'? We made Candace the best phone ever! What we've done here is revolutionized modern technology.
We put all kinds of cool features on it.
My favorite is the voice-activated phone transporter app.
Show 'em, Ferb.
You just say the words, "go to", and then specify the name or place you're trying to reach, and the phone will take you there.
You just say the words, "go to", and then specify the name or place you're trying to reach, and the phone will take you there.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Isabella, would you go stand over there on the driveway, please? Isabella, would you go stand over there on the driveway, please? Sure, Phineas.
She's gone.
Let's talk about her.
Focus, Buford.
Ready spaghetti! Go to Isabella.
Isabella, located.
Isabella, located.
Hey, Phineas.
What'cha doin'? I'm transporting.
Go to garage.
Garage, located.
Garage, located.
Dang it! So, then, Phineas was all like Oh.
I'll finish my story later.
And that's how it works.
Okay, Phineas.
Thirty-eight minutes is up.
But, Candace, you really should see our interactive tutorial.
The only thing I wanna see is you, later.
The only thing I wanna see is you, later.
What was that? That was the rim shot app.
Are you sure you don't wanna watch the tutorial? I'm a teenage girl.
Nobody has to teach me how to use a cell phone.
Now if you'll excuse me, me and little phonsie-wonsie have to make up for lost time.
Now if you'll excuse me, me and little phonsie-wonsie have to make up for lost time.
Okay? Yeah, we do.
Okay Let's get back to what we were doing before.
And when we get there, let's talk about Candace.
And when we get there, let's talk about Candace.
Doofenshmirtz's Basement.
Man, it's dark down here.
Ohh! Turn on the light, Heinz, you're not a bat.
Hey! It's Norm's old head, the original prototype! I wonder if it still works.
Oh, great.
Look who's here.
It's Dr.
Doof-degree-purchased- on-the-Internet-with-my-wife's-money-enshmirtz.
Well, I must say it's good to hear your voice again, too, after so long! I just came down here to get some parts for a new Inator.
Hey, take me with you.
I haven't seen you blow yourself up for a long time.
All right, Mr.
Smarty-pants.
Come on, let's go.
Hey, on the way, let's swing by the store and get you some deodorant.
Quiet, you! Yeah.
So, like, then I had to go whole like, 38 minutes without a phone, So, like, then I had to go whole like, 38 minutes without a phone, and I was like, "You guys better fix it, or else!" and they were like, "Candace, you're the best big sister we've ever had!" and I was like "Yeah" and they were like "Oh, yeah!" Candace, I'd love to hear more, and I'm sure I will, Candace, I'd love to hear more, and I'm sure I will, but right now I'm trying to finish this documentary on Easter Island.
Man, I wish I could go.
Why would you ever want to go to Easter Island? Easter Island, located.
Easter Island, located.
Stacy, what happened to your voice? Stacy, what happened to your voice? Oh! How did I get here? PHINEAS AND FERB! I've really got to hand it to myself, Norm's Old Head.
I'm a genius! Oh, is that what you see? 'Cause I'm looking at a lab coat filled with doonkleberries on top of which someone has strategically placed a cabbage.
This is my new Inator.
I call it the Pick-'Em-Up inator.
Hm-mm.
So, what's this one do and where can I hide when it doesn't do it and blows up? All I have to do is enter the coordinates and launch.
Ugh.
I should've known Dad would be late.
Oh, what is this? Curse you, unknown rocket-helmet-transportation thing! Oh, sweet.
I'm home.
Never mind, unknown rocket-helmet-transportation thing! Hey, look, Old Norm Head.
It worked.
It functioned properly! Vanessa's all picked up and taken home, with three minutes to spare.
Vanessa's all picked up and taken home, with three minutes to spare.
That's great.
We can spend the rest of the day working on your personality.
Hey, this time let's try to bump it up to a C minus.
Y'know, I'm starting to remember why I replaced you and put you in storage.
Perry the Platypus? What? I didn't do anything wrong today.
I just built an Inator to pick up my daughter.
But, hey, as long as you're here, why don't you join me for my evil exercise show? I've got a spare headband.
(Song: Dance Baby) Dance, baby, dance, baby, hands in the air Get down to the store, buy a wicker chair Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, wave your feet Throw off your shoes and dance to the beat Just dance, baby Dance, baby Wave your arms in the air Wear sunglasses for the glare Yeah, yeah Shake your feet to the beat Make sure you get a window seat Yeah Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, soak your hat Wring it out, take it to the laundromat Dance, baby, dance, baby, wave your feet Throw off your shoes and dance to the beat Just dance, baby Dance, baby Dance, baby, dance, baby, shake your hips Go down to the pier and get some fish and chips Groove, baby, groove, baby, motivate your limbs Never eat a cactus if you're out of practice Shake your feet to the beat, get a window seat You can feel the heat and you feel complete You're poppin' it, lockin' it, round-the-clockin' it Everybody's talkin' it 'cause you're rockin' it Just dance, baby! Easter Island? Who makes an app that sends people to Easter Island? Hey, come back here! I need that to get home! Oh, that was close.
Talk about a cliffhanger.
Can I get you a sports drink, Perry the Platypus? No? All right.
Suit yourself.
Say, as long as you're tied up, I'll tell you the evil plan I just thought of while we were working out.
See, I figured my Pick-'Em-Up-Inator works so well, I could mass produce them and pick up everyone in the Tri-State Area! Then, they would have to do what I tell them.
Then, they would have to do what I tell them.
Man, what is in this stuff? Okay, bird! You better give me my phone or I'm gonna rock you to sleep, with a real rock! You better give me my phone or I'm gonna rock you to sleep, with a real rock! Ugh! Yes? What is it, Agent T? Oh, no! That's Candace Flynn of the Flynn-Fletcher family.
Phineas! I better notify Agent P.
Good work, Agent T.
"Glycerol, glycerol, ester of rosin, yellow 15.
" "Glycerol, glycerol, ester of rosin, yellow 15.
" "Glycerol, glycerol, ester of rosin, yellow 15.
" "Glycerol, glycerol, ester of rosin, yellow 15.
" Thatâ I guess they had 14 other yellows.
"Sucrose acetate, isobut.
" "Sucrose acetate, isobut.
" What is that about? Man, you tie a guy up and he gets all foot-stompy on you for no reason! Hey, Perry the Platypus, can you do me a favor and leave that remote here? Ugh.
There, I'm better.
There, I'm better.
Waitâ Perry the Platypus, that's it? You're just gonna thwart and run? Curse you, Perry the Hello? Oh, hi, Vanessa.
Yes, that was my Inator.
Listen, honey, I'm in the middle of something, hold on one second.
Platypus! So, how was class? So, how was class? Oh, give me that phone, bird! Ow! Oh, give me a break! Well, you were right, Ferb.
The most interesting thing we ever built was very tall and very heavy.
And that guy from the museum seemed very appreciative.
I still can't believe it fit in his truck.
Hey, Candace.
Buford was just talking about you.
You guys are so busted! I'm calling Mom, right now.
I'm calling Mom, right now.
Oh, no.
I don't have the phone! That's Mom! When she finds out I lost it, my life is ruined! Relax, Candace.
We made two, just in case.
You did that for me? Well, sure.
Well, sure.
Thank you.
You do realize I'm still gonna have to bust you for making me go to Timbuktu? Timbuktu, located.
Timbuktu, located.
Meap.
She's gonna miss pie.
PHINEAS AND FERB! Finally, a place where a head can be a head.
When's the bunny get here with all the eggs? Huh? Yeah, Easter Island? Yeah, Easter Island? Huh? Huh? Oh, man, where's that bird with the rim shot app when you need him.
And the tallest.
Yes, and the tallest.
Yes, and the tallest.
And the heaviest.
Wow, we're chatty today, aren't we? I know, Stace.
I can't believe I lost another one! I could go out of my mind without it! Candace, I've got something for you.
Candace, I've got something for you.
Stacy, I'm gonna have to call you back.
Stacy, I'm gonna have to call you back.
My new phone is here.
Whee! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! So, how many apps does it run? Can I play MP3s and send texts to Stacy at the same time? How 'boutâ Hey.
Wait a minute.
All this phone does is make phone calls! All this phone does is make phone calls! Sorry, Candace.
You've lost four phones in four months, so I got you the cheapest replacement I could find.
If you lose this one, it's life without a phone for Candace Flynn.
If you lose this one, it's life without a phone for Candace Flynn.
"Life without a phone for Candace Flynn"? But But, that's me! Fire in the hole! Phineas and Ferb, will you keepâ Phineas and Ferb, will you keepâ Nooo! Oh! Well, how about that? It's all right.
Hey, kid, where do you want this ridiculously heavy lead box? Hey, kid, where do you want this ridiculously heavy lead box? Just set them down over there somewhere.
Not on my phone! On second thought, bring 'em over here.
On second thought, bring 'em over here.
Sure thing, kid.
Thanks a lot.
No sweat, kid.
It's blinking.
Maybe it's still okay! Oh, hey.
I need you to sign this invoice.
Okay.
And here you go.
And here you go.
Thanks, kid.
Oh, forgot my pen.
Here you go.
Thanks again.
It had a cap.
Oh, sorry.
Take it easy, kid.
Oh, no! Phonsie! Oh, what've they done to you? Hello? Hello, can anyone hear me? I can hear you, Candace.
Oh, great, it still works.
Yeah, Phineas, I was just telling you thatâ Oh, no! Is that your new cell phone? It used to be.
Wait a second.
You guys are good with wires and gadgets and stuff.
Can you fix it? Well, it took almost forty years to perfect the technology that makes the modern cell phone possible.
So, give us thirty-eight minutes.
So, give us thirty-eight minutes.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today before we do the other thing that we were gonna do today.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today before we do the other thing that we were gonna do today.
Hey, where's Perry? Hey, where's Perry? Carl! What? Look, I'm getting messages from some diabolically clever hacker, who goes by the sinister initials "TTYL".
Look, I'm getting messages from some diabolically clever hacker, who goes by the sinister initials "TTYL".
Look, I'm getting messages from some diabolically clever hacker, who goes by the sinister initials "TTYL".
Look, I'm getting messages from some diabolically clever hacker, who goes by the sinister initials "TTYL".
Sir, that means "talk to you later".
Sir, that means "talk to you later".
If you scroll down, you can see that message was from me.
Oh, I-I see.
Oh, I-I see.
That's, uh Huh.
It's very clever.
Good morning, Agent P.
Uh, beat it, Carl.
I'm on.
Sources tell us that Doofenshmirtz is "ROTFL".
Sources tell us that Doofenshmirtz is "ROTFL".
We don't know what that means, but it sounds dangerous.
Sir, ROTFL means Sir, ROTFL means Not now, Carl.
I'm briefing Agent P.
So, get out there and good hunting.
Oh, no! Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q.
Carl, now it just says q-q-q-q-q-q-q-.
It means your thumb is on the Q-key, sir.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! But Charlene, I'm waiting for my exercise show to start, so I can't go get Vanessa from class.
But Charlene, I'm waiting for my exercise show to start, so I can't go get Vanessa from class.
Well, why can't you pick her up? Well, how long does this surgery take? What about afterwards? Okay, okay.
All right, I'll do it.
I'll figure something out.
Yes.
Yes, I promise.
Good bye.
Sheesh.
Maybe I can make some sort of Inator that would pick her up for me! Hey, Phineas.
What'cha doin'? We made Candace the best phone ever! What we've done here is revolutionized modern technology.
We put all kinds of cool features on it.
My favorite is the voice-activated phone transporter app.
Show 'em, Ferb.
You just say the words, "go to", and then specify the name or place you're trying to reach, and the phone will take you there.
You just say the words, "go to", and then specify the name or place you're trying to reach, and the phone will take you there.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Isabella, would you go stand over there on the driveway, please? Isabella, would you go stand over there on the driveway, please? Sure, Phineas.
She's gone.
Let's talk about her.
Focus, Buford.
Ready spaghetti! Go to Isabella.
Isabella, located.
Isabella, located.
Hey, Phineas.
What'cha doin'? I'm transporting.
Go to garage.
Garage, located.
Garage, located.
Dang it! So, then, Phineas was all like Oh.
I'll finish my story later.
And that's how it works.
Okay, Phineas.
Thirty-eight minutes is up.
But, Candace, you really should see our interactive tutorial.
The only thing I wanna see is you, later.
The only thing I wanna see is you, later.
What was that? That was the rim shot app.
Are you sure you don't wanna watch the tutorial? I'm a teenage girl.
Nobody has to teach me how to use a cell phone.
Now if you'll excuse me, me and little phonsie-wonsie have to make up for lost time.
Now if you'll excuse me, me and little phonsie-wonsie have to make up for lost time.
Okay? Yeah, we do.
Okay Let's get back to what we were doing before.
And when we get there, let's talk about Candace.
And when we get there, let's talk about Candace.
Doofenshmirtz's Basement.
Man, it's dark down here.
Ohh! Turn on the light, Heinz, you're not a bat.
Hey! It's Norm's old head, the original prototype! I wonder if it still works.
Oh, great.
Look who's here.
It's Dr.
Doof-degree-purchased- on-the-Internet-with-my-wife's-money-enshmirtz.
Well, I must say it's good to hear your voice again, too, after so long! I just came down here to get some parts for a new Inator.
Hey, take me with you.
I haven't seen you blow yourself up for a long time.
All right, Mr.
Smarty-pants.
Come on, let's go.
Hey, on the way, let's swing by the store and get you some deodorant.
Quiet, you! Yeah.
So, like, then I had to go whole like, 38 minutes without a phone, So, like, then I had to go whole like, 38 minutes without a phone, and I was like, "You guys better fix it, or else!" and they were like, "Candace, you're the best big sister we've ever had!" and I was like "Yeah" and they were like "Oh, yeah!" Candace, I'd love to hear more, and I'm sure I will, Candace, I'd love to hear more, and I'm sure I will, but right now I'm trying to finish this documentary on Easter Island.
Man, I wish I could go.
Why would you ever want to go to Easter Island? Easter Island, located.
Easter Island, located.
Stacy, what happened to your voice? Stacy, what happened to your voice? Oh! How did I get here? PHINEAS AND FERB! I've really got to hand it to myself, Norm's Old Head.
I'm a genius! Oh, is that what you see? 'Cause I'm looking at a lab coat filled with doonkleberries on top of which someone has strategically placed a cabbage.
This is my new Inator.
I call it the Pick-'Em-Up inator.
Hm-mm.
So, what's this one do and where can I hide when it doesn't do it and blows up? All I have to do is enter the coordinates and launch.
Ugh.
I should've known Dad would be late.
Oh, what is this? Curse you, unknown rocket-helmet-transportation thing! Oh, sweet.
I'm home.
Never mind, unknown rocket-helmet-transportation thing! Hey, look, Old Norm Head.
It worked.
It functioned properly! Vanessa's all picked up and taken home, with three minutes to spare.
Vanessa's all picked up and taken home, with three minutes to spare.
That's great.
We can spend the rest of the day working on your personality.
Hey, this time let's try to bump it up to a C minus.
Y'know, I'm starting to remember why I replaced you and put you in storage.
Perry the Platypus? What? I didn't do anything wrong today.
I just built an Inator to pick up my daughter.
But, hey, as long as you're here, why don't you join me for my evil exercise show? I've got a spare headband.
(Song: Dance Baby) Dance, baby, dance, baby, hands in the air Get down to the store, buy a wicker chair Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, wave your feet Throw off your shoes and dance to the beat Just dance, baby Dance, baby Wave your arms in the air Wear sunglasses for the glare Yeah, yeah Shake your feet to the beat Make sure you get a window seat Yeah Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, soak your hat Wring it out, take it to the laundromat Dance, baby, dance, baby, wave your feet Throw off your shoes and dance to the beat Just dance, baby Dance, baby Dance, baby, dance, baby, shake your hips Go down to the pier and get some fish and chips Groove, baby, groove, baby, motivate your limbs Never eat a cactus if you're out of practice Shake your feet to the beat, get a window seat You can feel the heat and you feel complete You're poppin' it, lockin' it, round-the-clockin' it Everybody's talkin' it 'cause you're rockin' it Just dance, baby! Easter Island? Who makes an app that sends people to Easter Island? Hey, come back here! I need that to get home! Oh, that was close.
Talk about a cliffhanger.
Can I get you a sports drink, Perry the Platypus? No? All right.
Suit yourself.
Say, as long as you're tied up, I'll tell you the evil plan I just thought of while we were working out.
See, I figured my Pick-'Em-Up-Inator works so well, I could mass produce them and pick up everyone in the Tri-State Area! Then, they would have to do what I tell them.
Then, they would have to do what I tell them.
Man, what is in this stuff? Okay, bird! You better give me my phone or I'm gonna rock you to sleep, with a real rock! You better give me my phone or I'm gonna rock you to sleep, with a real rock! Ugh! Yes? What is it, Agent T? Oh, no! That's Candace Flynn of the Flynn-Fletcher family.
Phineas! I better notify Agent P.
Good work, Agent T.
"Glycerol, glycerol, ester of rosin, yellow 15.
" "Glycerol, glycerol, ester of rosin, yellow 15.
" "Glycerol, glycerol, ester of rosin, yellow 15.
" "Glycerol, glycerol, ester of rosin, yellow 15.
" Thatâ I guess they had 14 other yellows.
"Sucrose acetate, isobut.
" "Sucrose acetate, isobut.
" What is that about? Man, you tie a guy up and he gets all foot-stompy on you for no reason! Hey, Perry the Platypus, can you do me a favor and leave that remote here? Ugh.
There, I'm better.
There, I'm better.
Waitâ Perry the Platypus, that's it? You're just gonna thwart and run? Curse you, Perry the Hello? Oh, hi, Vanessa.
Yes, that was my Inator.
Listen, honey, I'm in the middle of something, hold on one second.
Platypus! So, how was class? So, how was class? Oh, give me that phone, bird! Ow! Oh, give me a break! Well, you were right, Ferb.
The most interesting thing we ever built was very tall and very heavy.
And that guy from the museum seemed very appreciative.
I still can't believe it fit in his truck.
Hey, Candace.
Buford was just talking about you.
You guys are so busted! I'm calling Mom, right now.
I'm calling Mom, right now.
Oh, no.
I don't have the phone! That's Mom! When she finds out I lost it, my life is ruined! Relax, Candace.
We made two, just in case.
You did that for me? Well, sure.
Well, sure.
Thank you.
You do realize I'm still gonna have to bust you for making me go to Timbuktu? Timbuktu, located.
Timbuktu, located.
Meap.
She's gonna miss pie.
PHINEAS AND FERB! Finally, a place where a head can be a head.
When's the bunny get here with all the eggs? Huh? Yeah, Easter Island? Yeah, Easter Island? Huh? Huh? Oh, man, where's that bird with the rim shot app when you need him.