Phineas and Ferb s03e32 Episode Script

Monster from the Id (15 min)

Ooh! Here he comes! Oh, Jeremy.
How can you even make walking to a bus stop cute? Yeah I'm a lucky, lucky gal.
Oh, no! He dropped something! Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy, wait! You dropped– Wait! Jeremy? You dropped something outside my house, and it kind of looks, uh artsy.
You dropped something outside my house, and it kind of looks, uh artsy.
Sounds like the gift I made you.
Gift? Well you didn't have to make– Uh-oh, we're passing the antenna farm.
I'm losing you.
My fillings are heating up.
Jeremy? Jeremy? Jeremy? Jeremy? Oh What a beautiful tiara Neck, uh Brooch What a beautiful tiara Neck, uh Brooch What a beautiful tiara Neck, uh Brooch Hmm bracelet! Hmm bracelet! Oh, it's absolutely beautiful! Whoops! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Almost got it Woo-hoo! The Danville clean water flush-off! A million gallons right to the ocean! Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! Jeremy will be heartbroken when he finds out I lost my gift! Phineas and Ferb! Hey.
What are you guys doing? We built a mind machine to enter Baljeet's subconscious in order to cure his fear of contractions.
You're amputating two perfectly good words and stitching them together.
They are the Frankenstein monsters of grammar.
We've already cured Irving's fear of the color lavender.
It can't hurt me anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't care about any of that! I lost the gift Jeremy made for me, and you guys have to make an exact duplicate before he comes over! We'd love to.
What'd it look like? Well, it kinda had this bolty screw thing going on, and this wrapped wire like Oh, I know what it looks like.
But I don't know how to describe it! No problem.
We can use the mind machine to enter your subconscious and retrieve your memory of what the gift looked like.
You don't mind if we fix Candace's problem first, do you, Baljeet? No, I don't.
Chills! Chills! Hey, where's– Where is Perry? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Eating cereal looks like this! Ah, Perry the Platypus! You're early.
And I'm in my underwear.
And I'm in my underwear.
Oh, this is so embarrassing.
And it's– It's the pair of underwear you never want anyone to see you in too.
You know the ones.
They're faded and frayed, and the elastic is so worn out you have to hold them up while you're walking around the house.
And then you roll the waist band, which makes your pants look all lumpy.
And– And yet when you take them off, you find yourself mysteriously putting them in the hamper rather than the garbage.
Why– Why do you do that? Hey, where are you going Perry the Platypus? You know, when you came in, despite appearances, I was trying to come up with a perfect evil plan to thwart today's Tri-State Area Summit and Weenie Roast, and you just gave me a great idea! What is a man most afraid of? It's being in public and suddenly realizing he's in his underwear! So, I shall construct an Underwear-inator! One blast at the summit, and everyone will be so paralyzed with fear and embarrassment, I can just waltz in and take over.
Thank you, Perry the Platypus.
Thank you very much! All right, Candace.
You're all wired up.
We're ready to go in.
Wait a minute.
Why is that dweeb going into my subconscious? Because this dweeb spent two weeks in psychology camp last summer.
So, how'd that make you feel? All right, but don't forget about doctor-patient confidentiality.
Okay, Irving.
We're in your hands now.
Close your eyes and count backwards from four.
Three Two One.
Three Two One.
Three Two One.
Where are we? We're inside your subconscious.
Okay, everyone take off your shoes.
I don't want you tracking mud in here, metaphorically speaking.
Mindmaster calling Deep Divers.
How you guys doing? We're doing fine, Irving.
Remember, you got 45 minutes to retrieve the memory before the boyfriend arrives.
Copy that, Mindmaster.
We need to get to the Forest of Memory.
So, where are we now? Offhand, I'd say the Jeremy Mountains.
Beautiful, kind and gentle Hmm.
Significant.
Uh, what was that? Baljeet? Shh! Do not move a muscle.
What is it? It is your id.
My what? Your id.
The embodiment of your deepest, most primal urges.
So Fun, right? So Fun, right? Wrong.
It is very primitive and aggressive.
We do not want to meet it in here.
Obviously, you see Phineas and Ferb as some sort of prey.
Run! Almost ready, Perry the Platypus, just a few more adjustments.
I'm putting an extra ratty setting on the Underwear-inator.
So embarrassing! Calling Phineas and Ferb.
Come in, Phineas and Ferb.
What's your 20? We copy you, Irving.
We're just emerging from the Peaks and Valleys of Fickleness.
I cannot believe there is a whole valley in there devoted to your love-hate relationship with ambivalence.
I have mixed feelings about it.
Wow.
The Falls of Anxiety.
Is my neck to long? Is it okay that I wear the same dress everyday? What's that? It is all of Candace's anxieties.
There are so many of them.
There are so many of them.
She has a rich internal life.
Yeah.
She's really messed up.
Buford?! What's he doin'? He just showed up and jacked in! You can't come in here! It's a free country.
No, it's not! It's my head! And you're getting crumbs all over– Cru– All over– All over– Cru– Cru– What's wrong with her? The anxieties are getting to her! Hurry, everyone! Through the falls! The Palms of Sweatiness! The Harpies of Hyperventilation! Rubber ducks? Do not ask me! It is your subconscious! Yeah, I'll catch you later.
I'm keeping my hoagie dry.
Hey, Buford.
Hey, Isabella.
You just get here? Yep.
Let me show you around.
This place is a riot! D-Do you smell something burnin–? What are you doing? Give me that! Got it! What is this, a-a tiny magnifying glass? Oh, you think you're so fancy with your high-tech spy equipment.
What are you gonna do now, huh? Perry the Platypus, huh? (Song: Deep Into Your Mind) We're going deep into your mind Never know what we will find Repression, aggression, your embarrassing obsession Would make Freud annoyed but don't be paranoid We're going deep into your mind! We're going deep into your mind! Were you traumatized by squirrels? Or a little girl with curls? Do you fear the number seven? Does a zebra call you Kevin? We're going deep into your mind! Your psyche will unwind Was there a monster 'neath your bed? A fear of moldy bread? Or just a Giant Floating Baby Head? Going deep into your mind Here we are Candace.
The Forest of Memory.
How'll we find Jeremy's gift? Well, we shouldn't have to walk too far since it's a recent memory.
What's the last thing you remember? Hmm The last thing I remember is saying "How'll we find Jeremy's gift?" Well, we shouldn't have to walk too far since it's a recent memory.
What's the last thing you remember? Oh, I forgot it already.
No problem.
This should be deep enough.
Everybody just feel around.
Maybe we can stimulate Candace's memory.
That makes my head all buzzy.
Wait– Wait a minute! Wait! I'm remembering! Yes! Yes, I see it! Over there! Through the trees! That's it! That's what? Jeremy? Wait, are you real? Yeah.
I stopped by your house to give you your present and Irving told me to jack right in this– My present? How could you? I lost it.
But I found the memory.
It's right over there.
That? That's not your present.
That's my drain unclogger.
I don't know why I carry that around with me.
So, I didn't lose your– That is the id! Run! And if you follow me now, you'll see Candace's reocurring nightmares.
Come on, people.
Try to stay with the group.
Hey, where are they going? It's ironic, I built my Underwear-inator while actually in my underwear.
Ha! Clubby Momo! You all signed the releases, right? Phineas and Ferb! Ow! Ha! You look ridic– Ugh! Moth holes? Who wants lobster bisque? Get it while it's hot! Irving! Get us out of here, now! Roger, over! Lavender! It had to be lavender! Hello? Irving? Hello? Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Y-You know, those– Those really work for you.
I cannot believe I turned down a trip to the community pool for this! She's growing! What do we do? One of us has to wake up and extract the others! I am trying to wake up, but I can't! Oh! I feel a shock! That's it! Let's all shock Baljeet awake with contractions! Isn't! Won't! It's! Don't! Hasn't! Ain't! That is both a contraction and grammatically incorrect! Lavender! Had to be lavender! The wires must pull them out with no muscles.
The wires must pull them out with no muscles.
The wires must pull them out with no muscles.
The wires must pull them out with no muscles.
The wires must pull them out with no muscles.
The wires must pull them out with no muscles.
The wires must pull them out with no muscles.
The wires must pull them out with no muscles.
I don't think I can run anymore! Don't give up! Baljeet will save us! I'm getting tired, too! That's it! I'm dead meat! Gretchen is out! Peace! I'm really complicated and weird.
That was great! Let's do it again! Not me! I wish I had my camera! Wait until they hear about this at psychology camp! Goodbye, everybody! Wow, I guess that was a lot of trouble to go through for a drain unclogger.
Yeah.
By the way, here's your real gift.
Jeremy, it's beautiful! I really, really love it.
Thank you.
Wait, hold on.
Where's Buford? I don't care what Freud said about your selfish need for satisfaction.
You're all right with me.

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