Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e27 Episode Script

Brain's Night Off

Gee, brain, What do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky, Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
Yes.
This is it, pinky.
A really hard math puzzle? No, my numerically challenged friend.
This is the day we have set aside To find out what i like to do for fun.
Zort! You mean, we're not going to try to take over-- Don't even say it, pinky.
I don't even want to hear those words, Because tonight is our night off.
All the best authorities On motivational psychology agree.
You must recreate.
Why, the very etymology of that word Says it all.
Re-Create.
You must recreate yourself By pursuing diversions Apart from your quotidian responsibilities.
Aah! Your tongue is making really strange noises, brain.
Grrr! I'll put it in terms That even you can understand.
If you could do anything you wanted to do tonight, Anything that is, as you say, "Fun, fun, silly-Willy," What would it be? Um oh--Oh, i know get a giant truckload of mashed potatoes And build a magic fairy land.
Maybe i should choose the evening's activity.
Brain: table for two, please.
[French accent.]
you are much smaller Than our usual customers.
Actually, we are a pair Of genetically altered lab mice Trying very hard not to take over the world.
Would you like booster seats? I'll have the garlic jumbo prawns.
And monsieur? Hmm? Oh, me, me.
Well, I'd like a big bowl of macaroni and cheese.
That is not on the menu.
Well, all that's on the menu Are a bunch of funny words.
You should have pictures on your menu, Like denny's.
I will see if the chef can accommodate your request.
So, pinky.
Hello? Well what are we going to talk about? Hmm.
Let me see.
Well, we could talk about trying to take over-- Don't even go there, pinky.
Shoptalk is off-Limits tonight.
I won't talk about taking over the world, And you won't talk about whatever it is you do.
We'll just have to find something else to discuss.
Like what? Oh, say, i know.
I read this interesting article the other day.
It was all about the nocturnal breeding patterns Of the acorn barnacle.
I'll bet you never knew a crustacean could snore, did you? Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ah no, i--I didn't know that.
Well, i guess you had to read it to find the humor in it.
Yeah.
I guess.
Your jumbo prawns, sir.
And your macaroni and cheese.
Are these supposed to be steamed carrots? These are limp.
Steamed carrots should be served al dente.
Look at that macaroni and cheese.
The cheese is all stringy.
Um, no, no, it's ok, brain.
Please don't make a scene.
We are paying customers, pinky, And we have every right to voice our complaints.
Is something wrong, sir? I'll say something's wrong.
Why, just look at what you're trying to pass off As edible.
And stop touching your hair.
Do you want to contaminate the food? I'm afraid i don't like your tone, sir.
My tone? Who's the customer here, anyway? [Without french accent.]
not you, buddy! Yeow! Oof! Well, there goes his tip.
We must find a more soothing way to spend our evening.
You know, that little guy was right.
This food is lousy.
I've been wanting to complain about things here For a long time, mr.
Man, But i never had the nerve.
Yeah, yeah, we should stand up for ourselves Like he did.
That little fella's a natural-Born leader.
He should run for office.
[All talk at once.]
So, where'd he go? Yes, pinky, i think you're right.
A shopping spree.
This will take my mind off of work.
Oh, these are lovely, brain.
Zort! Brain: pardon me, miss.
Could you open this? I'd like to try on the jacket.
Oh.
Well, it's a little unusual, But i don't see why not.
What do you think you're doing, claire? You can't just rip open the blister packs.
But, sir, the customer wanted to-- I don't care what the customer wanted.
The next time you do that, You're fired! What's going on? Ah, the boss is yelling again.
Again? Is this the way you treat your valued employees? No wonder you can't find good service anymore, If every time a clerk tries to help a customer, She gets yelled at.
You people shouldn't put up with this.
You ought to organize, Form a union, Stand up to your boss.
Listen, trotsky, this i don't need.
You're outta here.
Aaahhhh! Oof! Are we relaxing yet, brain? No, pinky.
You're right.
My outbursts aren't doing anyone any good.
And we're not doing any more work Until you treat us better.
Yeah, that's right.
Wait a minute.
Can't we work something out? Who was that little guy, anyway? We should get him to organize our union.
He'd be a great leader.
Yeah, i'd follow him anywhere.
I give up, pinky.
You pick our next diversion.
Hey, have you seen a little guy With really big ears? We want him to run for office.
Yeah, he--He should run the country.
He should lead the world.
[All talk at once.]
And this is where the queen fairy has her throne.
And this is the grand ballroom.
I couldn't make it any bigger.
The mashed potatoes started to fall from the ceiling.
Brain? Brain? Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain.
But will they let the cranberry duchess Stay in the lincoln bedroom? No, pinky.
It's no wonder i can't take over the world.
I don't even know how to enjoy a night off.
Tv reporter: people all over town Are looking for someone they describe As a small large-Headed figure With big ears.
He's a natural leader.
He fights for what's right.
Nobody knows what happened To this feisty, diminutive fellow, Who, in one night, Seems to have inspired people All across the city To take charge of their lives And stand up for themselves.
Perhaps we'll never see him again, But at least he touched our lives For a moment.
I don't know why You put up with me, pinky.
Let's face it, i'm a failure.
Here, brain, You can be king of the fairies.
Thank you, pinky.
I'll need all the encouragement i can get To muster my self-Confidence for tomorrow night.
Why, brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night? Have fun the only way i know how.
By trying to take over the world! they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain Looks like surf city's a wipeout today, gang.
You'd have to be to ride those curls.
[All groaning.]
Ooh! [Gasps.]
Set your peepers on that.
Ohh, crazy! Egad! Marvy, far-Out, way goo-Goo ride! It helps that i taped my feet to the board, pinky.
It's all part of my plan To win over today's surf-Crazed youth.
Yaah! Nnnnnn! Oof! Is that part of your plan, too, brain? Pain always seems to be an unavoidable side effect Of my plans, pinky.
But remember, While we are here in malibu, I am braindoggie, An aloof, bohemian nomad From parts unknown.
All right.
Troz! And i'm your beatnik buddy pinklady, On the lookout for wild sea chimps in the surf.
That's pinkdaddy.
You are the most, braindoggie.
You ride those waves like they are a part of you.
I can dig that, pinkdaddy, For i am one with mother ocean.
Wherever her currents take me, That is where i make my home.
All: ooh.
Braindoggie, wowsville.
You'll have to park your stick somewhere else, man.
This is our beach.
Nobody owns the sand, beach boy.
Yeah, mr.
Rulemaker man with a tan.
He's braindoggie.
Wherever the home bakes him is where he uh, takes his cake or something.
Pinkdaddy's right, cranky.
I am? Narf-Out! Yeah.
Sometimes you are so immature, cranky.
Hey, whose side are you on? Are you my girl or what? Until i see a ring on this finger, I'm not sure i can be your girl anymore.
Check you later braindoggie.
Later, babe.
Hmm! Danette, sweet cookies, come back.
Hey, there's a wiggy shindig Happening tonight at big mcgarrity's.
Why don't you all slap on your huraches And watusi down to have some kicks? It is feasible that we could make the scene man.
Put the pedal to the metal, braindoggie.
We don't want to miss any of the way-Out fun At the wiggly woggly shindig.
Narf-Out! We're not going to the party to have fun, pinky.
Stay focused on our goal.
You mean to lure the sea chimps to shore, Using banana-Flavored chumsicles as bait? Once and for all, There are no monkeys in the ocean, pinky.
Troz.
We must endear ourselves To those hormonally-Challenged teenagers.
Once they think that we are the kings of cool, They'll fall at my feet To wear my hypnotic sunscreen-- Brain de soleil-- For the smart set.
When applied, it will render the unfortunate fools Helpless to resist my will, And they will do whatever i say.
Even this? [Muffled laughter.]
Sadly, today's youth Would not need hypnotic encouragement to do that, pinky.
There it is, Big mcgarrity's shindig shack.
Come on, everybody.
Do the itchy fishy.
Hey, look, it's braindoggie.
All: oooh! What a lame dancer.
I think he's marvy.
[Gasps.]
Outta sight, braindoggie.
Too much! You sure are one kooky surf rat.
Actually, i am a lab mouse, Intent on exploiting dimwitted teenagers such as yourselves In an intricate plot to take over the beach And then the world! Gee, cranky, why can't you be like braindoggie? He has ambition.
Aw, take the lid off the pressure cooker, chickie.
We're young.
We can have ambition later.
Yes.
Perhaps one day, You can be a crash test dummy And use your hair for a helmet.
Hey.
My hair is really cool.
You're gonna pay, goo goo! I'd like to see you make me.
Goo goo goo goo! Aah! You know the rules, cranky.
No squares, no parking on the dance floor, And no squishing the customers allowed.
But, big mcgarrity! Book 'im, daddy-O.
Hey, danette, do something! Sorry, cranky.
I can't do something Until i see a ring on this finger.
But i'm the grooviest guy in town.
Yaaah! Not anymore.
Braindoggie's way more boss.
Yes! I mean, uh marvy! [All cheering.]
Hey, braindoggie, How about a song? Yeah! braindoggie mambo braindoggie mambo braindoggie mambo is the song that we sing i'm a way-Out crazy surfnik travelin' from shore to shore when the kids all dig his groovin' he's the one they adore Narf! braindoggie mambo braindoggie mambo braindoggie mambo is the song that we sing braindoggie's super nifty he's the guy with the most Yaah! Yaah! odds are more than 50-50 that he's gonna be toast braindoggie mambo braindoggie mambo braindoggie mambo is the song that we sing soon i'm going to rule the surf set i'll be king of the beach then can we adopt a new pet? a sea chimpanzee named cheech Hey! braindoggie mambo braindoggie mambo braindoggie mambo is the song that we is the song that we is the song that we sing Mambo! Mambo! Mambo! Yay! Yay! Yay! Brain: hey, gang, 'sup? Braindoggie, pinkdaddy, Pull up a towel and catch some rays.
We can dig the crazy sun, surf bunny, But not until we slather our bodies With ample gobs of sunscreen.
But sunscreen's for, like, kooks.
Not brain de soleil, for the smart set.
I use it all the time.
It keeps my complexion smooth And free from pesky melanomas.
And it tastes extra good on corn dogs.
If braindoggie says sunscreen's cool, That's enough for me.
Could you put some on my back, braindoggie? Yes! She digs me she digs me not grrr! Whoa! You're out of your league, braindweebie.
You want to make time with my best girl, You'll have to beat me In a contest of surf chicken.
[Gasp.]
Ha ha ha! In surf chicken, We both take off on the same wave.
Whoever stays on his board longest Before getting smashed into skeleton rock wins.
I'll never be able to handle waves like these.
Why? What's the worst that could happen? Well i could wipe out on that giant swell, Get tossed in the violent current, Be unable to breathe, Clawing helplessly for the surface, And get shredded to bits on those spiky, Razor-Sharp rocks.
Some people have all the fun.
[Cheering.]
Yay! [Whistles.]
Go, braindoggie! Oh, this isn't so difficult.
You go, braindoggie! Whoo! Something smells like chicken, Helmet hair.
My hair is really-- Cool! Bawk bawk bawk bawk! Oof! Cranky's a chicken.
Braindoggie wins.
Where is he? Look.
[Coughing.]
Hiya, chickie.
Bet you're glad to see me-- Cranky! [Cough cough.]
Graham cracker lips.
I don't care If you're the biggest chicken in malibu, cranky, You're my chicken.
Mmm.
Uh-Uh-Uh.
You know i won't do that Until i see a diamond engagement ring?! All i wanted was a mood ring.
Oh, well in that case-- But i'll take it.
Wowsville.
We're gonna get married, And then we'll have kids, And i can join the p.
T.
A.
, And you can get a potbelly.
Huh? Oh, braindoggie, It looks like you lost your biggest fan.
Yes, but the rest of the gang Still digs my scene.
Look.
They're going gaga over my hypnotic sunscreen.
In mere moments, They will be my surfnik zombie warriors, Marching to my every command.
Um, zort! This might be a stupid question.
I'm used to them, pinky.
I know.
But how will your surfnik warriors be able to march When they can't even move? Like, braindoggie is my leader, man.
All: rule our world, braindoggie.
Drat! I must have calibrated the chemical reaction To the fluorescent lights in the lab.
The ultraviolet rays of the sun Have turned my hypnotic sunscreen into spackle And our beach trip into an endless bummer.
Googy jeepers! Change the label, And this stuff would make a great hair cream! Then everyone could have hair just like mine.
Baby, i'm going into business.
Cranky spamalon's hair helmet club for men.
Oh, cranky, I always knew you'd get ambition one day.
Pinky: all those chumsicles i left on the beach, And i didn't meet a single sea chimp.
I guess you were right, brain.
They don't really exist.
Poit.
There is no truth in advertising.
I've been meaning to tell you, pinky, When i was under the water, uh something helped me get to shore.
Egad! Was it a sea chimp? [Munching.]
Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee! Either that, Or i've spent too much time in the sun.
We'd better return to the lab And prepare for tomorrow night.
Why, kahuna? What are we gonna do tomorrow night, Run wild and free with the grunions? No, pinky, The same thing we do every night.
Shake the sand out of our ears And then try to take over the world! they're wiggy they're pinkdaddy and the braindoggie braindoggie, braindoggie, braindoggie braindoggie warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--
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