Pompidou (2015) s01e02 Episode Script
Lottery
1 # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy doo Doo dooblee doo-doo # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy doo # Doo-doo pomp # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy Doo doo doo doo doo # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la Pompy dompy dompy doo! POMPIDOU GIBBERS RHYTHMICALLY POMPIDOU REPEATS GIBBERISH POMPIDOU REPEATS GIBBERISH Pompi! It's Thingy! It's Thingy! Naughty Thingy! Naughty! Very naughty.
It's Thingy.
Whoo! Ha-ha! VOICES ON TV CHANNEL CHANGES, VOICES CHEER CHANNEL CHANGES, DRUM ROLL POMPIDOU SINGS ALONG WITH MILITARY-STYLE THEME TUNE Hove! POMPIDOU SHOUTS INCOHERENTLY HE CONTINUES TO SING ALONG Huh? Whoo-hoo! HE EXCLAIMS Ha-ha! Oooh! Mwah! HE GIBBERS EXCITEDLY Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! HE LAUGHS AND WHOOPS HE EXCLAIMS INCOHERENTLY Yes? HE SINGS THE TV THEME TUNE HE CONTINUES TO SING Ha-ha-hoo-hoo-hoo! HE CONTINUES TO SING HE EXCLAIMS AND WHOOPS HE SINGS THE THEME TUNE HE CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY Oh, now HE LISTS IN GIBBERISH HE EXCLAIMS CHEERFULLY GLASSES CHINK POP! Ooly.
Yes? Oo.
Of, dof, lof, cof, pof.
Oofy! Oh Oh! HE CLEARS HIS THROA AND COMMUNICATES SHEEPISHLY QUESTIONING SPEECH DWINDLES SHOW CONTINUES ON TV POMPIDOU SIGHS Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Bring out the sippy, please.
No, no! No.
HOVE CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR Ohh Er Good afternoon.
Good afternoon?! POMPIDOU WHOOPS EXCITEDLY Got them all! Wey-hey! Got them all! Hoo-hoo! Doodly-doo doo doo! HE SINGS HE PROTESTS AND CLEARS HIS THROA Yoo-hoo-hoo-hee! Wey-hey! Hey-hey! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh-ho-ho-ho! Doo, doo, doo.
HE GIBBERS HE LISTS AT LENGTH HE CONTINUES LISTING POP! LISTING DWINDLES Oh! HE GIBBERS QUESTIONINGLY Hm? Oh! No, no, no.
Mine.
No! Yes! SHOP BELL TINKLES HOVE BLOWS Yes Yes HE GIBBERS CALMLY HE EXPLAINS HIS ACTIONS Andthe same.
Lucky.
You're very lucky.
Isn't he lucky? Oh, very lucky.
Yes, very lucky.
HOVE CHUCKLES DISBELIEVINGLY Oh.
EMOTIVE MUSIC CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES THE HOUR POMPIDOU GRUNTS SLEEPILY Ohh HE GROANS REPROACHFULLY HE LISTS ITEMS IN EFFICIENT MANNER SURFACE SQUEAKS Hm! Ah! Do-do-do deh-deh.
HE MUTTERS UNCERTAINLY TUNEFUL WHISTLING, POMPIDOU GIBBERS ENQUIRINGLY WHISTLING CONTINUES Oh! WHISTLING CONTINUES Huh?! HE STAMMERS IN DISBELIEF FORCEFULLY: Oh, no.
Oh, no! No! No, no, no.
No.
No.
No, no, no! No.
HE INSTRUCTS THEM HE STAKES HIS CLAIM HE CONTINUES MORE FORCEFULLY Hey! HEY! HE-EEEEY! HE GIBBERS DISBELIEVINGLY HE STUTTERS POMPIDOU MUMBLES DISTRACTEDLY Hmm.
Huh.
Oh! HE CRACKS HIS KNUCKLES CONTENTED MUTTERING Oh Ah! Oh.
No.
Oh.
HE MUTTERS DISTRACTEDLY Ah! Ah-ha! Now DANCE MUSIC BLARES No, no, no, no, no! HE GIBBERS IN DISGRUNTLED MANNER VOLUME DECREASES HE RANTS COMPLAININGLY HE STOPS MID-FLOW Oh! UNCERTAINLY: Good afternoon.
Pompidou.
Er, good afternoon.
Montino? DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES HOVE PRESENTS HIS AR Oh HOVE PRESENTS MORE AR Oh! POMPIDOU MURMURS DISBELIEVINGLY POMPIDOU MURMURS DISBELIEVINGLY Bon seminay! Ah, good Bon seminay.
Urgh! HE GIBBERS UNENTHUSIASTICALLY Yes.
Oh THUMPING AT DOOR Hm? THUMPING CONTINUES Hello? Hello! Hold on! THUMPING CONTINUES I'm coming! THUMPING CONTINUES I'M COMING! RUBBISH CLATTERS UNDERFOO Oh, all right! Oh HE MUTTERS QUESTIONINGLY Pompidou? Yes? Pompidou Pompidou? Yes, Pompidou Pompidou, yes.
Pompidou P Pompidou? Yes, Pompidou P Pompidou, yes.
Hm? What's that? HE COMPLAINS INDIGNANTLY "Dear Pompidou" HE READS INCOHERENTLY HE READS DISBELIEVINGLY HE PROTESTS HE GIBBERS INDIGNANTLY Hm? Oh Ohh HE QUESTIONS SADLY You all right, mate? No.
Ohh Huh? HE PROTESTS WEAKLY HE WHIMPERS MARION PLAYS MOURNFUL HARMONICA TUNE Please? HE QUESTIONS QUIETLY SLURRING: Good Good afternoon.
Good afternoons.
VEHICLE APPROACHES AIR HORN BLARES, MARION BARKS Chop chop.
POMPIDOU WHIMPERS BELL RINGS POMPIDOU MUTTERS CONTENTEDLY HAPPILY: Ah! HE EXCLAIMS PROUDLY EMOTIVE MUSIC Hello? All right? Good afternoon.
Nay-aye.
Hm? Yeah.
DELIVERY MAN COMMUNICATES AFFABLY Here you are.
No, no.
No.
No.
HE GIBBERS IN EXPLANATORY MANNER HE SIGHS Ohh HE GIBBERS IMPATIENTLY HE SPITS Urgh! Right THEY GRUN Up we go now.
Up we go.
THEY GRUN Hoo! Cup o' tea? Hm? Cup o' tea? Cup of tea? Yeah.
A cup of tea! Yes! Yer, a cup o' tea, innit? You have a cup o' tea, gonna have a cup o' tea, in't ya? Cuppa tea! Ee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-woh! Oh, no, no, no.
THEY PAN Well, a cuppa tea's a cuppa tea, innit? Oh, yeah.
THEY SLURP THEY GRUNT, POMPIDOU BECKONS Steady, steady THEY GRUNT REPEATEDLY Cuppa tea.
Cuppa tea.
Ahh Ahh FOOTSTEPS APPROACH Ope, diddup, doh, diddy, doh-doo.
HE GIBBERS IN MANNER OF FOOTBALL RESULTS Pompy dompy dompy, Obi-Wan.
Pompy dompy doo.
Hello, mit doody con dolit day.
HE CONTINUES HE GIBBERS IN MANNER OF QUIZ-SHOW HOS HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Eh, I don't know.
HE GIBBERS ANSWER UNCERTAINLY HE GIBBERS AFFIRMATIVELY HE POSES ANOTHER QUESTION IN GIBBERISH Was it dooly, mooly or booly? HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Em, I don't Oh, yeah HE GIBBERS CONVERSATIONALLY Mooly! HE GIBBERS CONSOLINGLY Booly.
HE CLEARS HIS THROA HE POSES ANOTHER QUESTION IN GIBBERISH Is it wamminy, flamminy or bamminy? HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Eh, I don't Eh I.
.
Eh Oh, no! I don't HOVE MOUTHS I don't Eh I don't think I do know.
HE GIBBERS NERVOUSLY Ah-mon it doo-doo.
Flamminy! Hm? Oh, no, no - bamminy! Pompidou?! Er Er No THEY STAMMER IN PANIC HE CLEARS HIS THROA Erm Well, you see Er THEY MUTTER HE EXPLAINS UNCONVINCINGLY HE GIBBERS OVER-EXCITEDLY Naughty! Naughty! Naughty! Very naughty! Naughty! Isn't that naughty? Naughty, yes.
Ooh! HE CLEARS HIS THROA Cup o' tea.
HOVE EXHALES IN EXASPERATED MANNER RATTLING RATTLING STOPS POMPIDOU! HE GIBBERS IN PANIC HE PROTESTS IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE Out! POMPIDOU WAILS You hurt me! WHIMPERING: Really hurt me.
HE WHIMPERS HE MUTTERS DETERMINEDLY CHANTS: No, no, no! Rights for Pompidou! POMPIDOU CONTINUES TO CHAN POMPIDOU CONTINUES TO CHAN No.
POMPIDOU CONTINUES TO CHAN No.
POMPIDOU CONTINUES TO CHAN SING-SONG VOICE: Ho-ove? Ho-ove? It's Pompi.
It's Pompidou.
Oh Shoe Shoe Shoe Oh, and Yes, yes Yes, er Yes Oh! HE GIBBERS IN CHEERFUL CONSOLATION Hm.
Yes.
Yes, that's Well Well We Ah! Oh.
Oh Hm.
Ah! Heyho! Eh? Eh?! Oh Urgh.
HE MUTTERS INSTRUCTIONS POMPIDOU MUTTERS DISTRACTEDLY HE PLAYS A JOLLY TUNE # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy doo # Doo doo-doo doo # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la Pompy dompy dompy doo!
It's Thingy.
Whoo! Ha-ha! VOICES ON TV CHANNEL CHANGES, VOICES CHEER CHANNEL CHANGES, DRUM ROLL POMPIDOU SINGS ALONG WITH MILITARY-STYLE THEME TUNE Hove! POMPIDOU SHOUTS INCOHERENTLY HE CONTINUES TO SING ALONG Huh? Whoo-hoo! HE EXCLAIMS Ha-ha! Oooh! Mwah! HE GIBBERS EXCITEDLY Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! HE LAUGHS AND WHOOPS HE EXCLAIMS INCOHERENTLY Yes? HE SINGS THE TV THEME TUNE HE CONTINUES TO SING Ha-ha-hoo-hoo-hoo! HE CONTINUES TO SING HE EXCLAIMS AND WHOOPS HE SINGS THE THEME TUNE HE CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY Oh, now HE LISTS IN GIBBERISH HE EXCLAIMS CHEERFULLY GLASSES CHINK POP! Ooly.
Yes? Oo.
Of, dof, lof, cof, pof.
Oofy! Oh Oh! HE CLEARS HIS THROA AND COMMUNICATES SHEEPISHLY QUESTIONING SPEECH DWINDLES SHOW CONTINUES ON TV POMPIDOU SIGHS Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Bring out the sippy, please.
No, no! No.
HOVE CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR Ohh Er Good afternoon.
Good afternoon?! POMPIDOU WHOOPS EXCITEDLY Got them all! Wey-hey! Got them all! Hoo-hoo! Doodly-doo doo doo! HE SINGS HE PROTESTS AND CLEARS HIS THROA Yoo-hoo-hoo-hee! Wey-hey! Hey-hey! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh-ho-ho-ho! Doo, doo, doo.
HE GIBBERS HE LISTS AT LENGTH HE CONTINUES LISTING POP! LISTING DWINDLES Oh! HE GIBBERS QUESTIONINGLY Hm? Oh! No, no, no.
Mine.
No! Yes! SHOP BELL TINKLES HOVE BLOWS Yes Yes HE GIBBERS CALMLY HE EXPLAINS HIS ACTIONS Andthe same.
Lucky.
You're very lucky.
Isn't he lucky? Oh, very lucky.
Yes, very lucky.
HOVE CHUCKLES DISBELIEVINGLY Oh.
EMOTIVE MUSIC CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES THE HOUR POMPIDOU GRUNTS SLEEPILY Ohh HE GROANS REPROACHFULLY HE LISTS ITEMS IN EFFICIENT MANNER SURFACE SQUEAKS Hm! Ah! Do-do-do deh-deh.
HE MUTTERS UNCERTAINLY TUNEFUL WHISTLING, POMPIDOU GIBBERS ENQUIRINGLY WHISTLING CONTINUES Oh! WHISTLING CONTINUES Huh?! HE STAMMERS IN DISBELIEF FORCEFULLY: Oh, no.
Oh, no! No! No, no, no.
No.
No.
No, no, no! No.
HE INSTRUCTS THEM HE STAKES HIS CLAIM HE CONTINUES MORE FORCEFULLY Hey! HEY! HE-EEEEY! HE GIBBERS DISBELIEVINGLY HE STUTTERS POMPIDOU MUMBLES DISTRACTEDLY Hmm.
Huh.
Oh! HE CRACKS HIS KNUCKLES CONTENTED MUTTERING Oh Ah! Oh.
No.
Oh.
HE MUTTERS DISTRACTEDLY Ah! Ah-ha! Now DANCE MUSIC BLARES No, no, no, no, no! HE GIBBERS IN DISGRUNTLED MANNER VOLUME DECREASES HE RANTS COMPLAININGLY HE STOPS MID-FLOW Oh! UNCERTAINLY: Good afternoon.
Pompidou.
Er, good afternoon.
Montino? DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES HOVE PRESENTS HIS AR Oh HOVE PRESENTS MORE AR Oh! POMPIDOU MURMURS DISBELIEVINGLY POMPIDOU MURMURS DISBELIEVINGLY Bon seminay! Ah, good Bon seminay.
Urgh! HE GIBBERS UNENTHUSIASTICALLY Yes.
Oh THUMPING AT DOOR Hm? THUMPING CONTINUES Hello? Hello! Hold on! THUMPING CONTINUES I'm coming! THUMPING CONTINUES I'M COMING! RUBBISH CLATTERS UNDERFOO Oh, all right! Oh HE MUTTERS QUESTIONINGLY Pompidou? Yes? Pompidou Pompidou? Yes, Pompidou Pompidou, yes.
Pompidou P Pompidou? Yes, Pompidou P Pompidou, yes.
Hm? What's that? HE COMPLAINS INDIGNANTLY "Dear Pompidou" HE READS INCOHERENTLY HE READS DISBELIEVINGLY HE PROTESTS HE GIBBERS INDIGNANTLY Hm? Oh Ohh HE QUESTIONS SADLY You all right, mate? No.
Ohh Huh? HE PROTESTS WEAKLY HE WHIMPERS MARION PLAYS MOURNFUL HARMONICA TUNE Please? HE QUESTIONS QUIETLY SLURRING: Good Good afternoon.
Good afternoons.
VEHICLE APPROACHES AIR HORN BLARES, MARION BARKS Chop chop.
POMPIDOU WHIMPERS BELL RINGS POMPIDOU MUTTERS CONTENTEDLY HAPPILY: Ah! HE EXCLAIMS PROUDLY EMOTIVE MUSIC Hello? All right? Good afternoon.
Nay-aye.
Hm? Yeah.
DELIVERY MAN COMMUNICATES AFFABLY Here you are.
No, no.
No.
No.
HE GIBBERS IN EXPLANATORY MANNER HE SIGHS Ohh HE GIBBERS IMPATIENTLY HE SPITS Urgh! Right THEY GRUN Up we go now.
Up we go.
THEY GRUN Hoo! Cup o' tea? Hm? Cup o' tea? Cup of tea? Yeah.
A cup of tea! Yes! Yer, a cup o' tea, innit? You have a cup o' tea, gonna have a cup o' tea, in't ya? Cuppa tea! Ee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-woh! Oh, no, no, no.
THEY PAN Well, a cuppa tea's a cuppa tea, innit? Oh, yeah.
THEY SLURP THEY GRUNT, POMPIDOU BECKONS Steady, steady THEY GRUNT REPEATEDLY Cuppa tea.
Cuppa tea.
Ahh Ahh FOOTSTEPS APPROACH Ope, diddup, doh, diddy, doh-doo.
HE GIBBERS IN MANNER OF FOOTBALL RESULTS Pompy dompy dompy, Obi-Wan.
Pompy dompy doo.
Hello, mit doody con dolit day.
HE CONTINUES HE GIBBERS IN MANNER OF QUIZ-SHOW HOS HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Eh, I don't know.
HE GIBBERS ANSWER UNCERTAINLY HE GIBBERS AFFIRMATIVELY HE POSES ANOTHER QUESTION IN GIBBERISH Was it dooly, mooly or booly? HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Em, I don't Oh, yeah HE GIBBERS CONVERSATIONALLY Mooly! HE GIBBERS CONSOLINGLY Booly.
HE CLEARS HIS THROA HE POSES ANOTHER QUESTION IN GIBBERISH Is it wamminy, flamminy or bamminy? HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Eh, I don't Eh I.
.
Eh Oh, no! I don't HOVE MOUTHS I don't Eh I don't think I do know.
HE GIBBERS NERVOUSLY Ah-mon it doo-doo.
Flamminy! Hm? Oh, no, no - bamminy! Pompidou?! Er Er No THEY STAMMER IN PANIC HE CLEARS HIS THROA Erm Well, you see Er THEY MUTTER HE EXPLAINS UNCONVINCINGLY HE GIBBERS OVER-EXCITEDLY Naughty! Naughty! Naughty! Very naughty! Naughty! Isn't that naughty? Naughty, yes.
Ooh! HE CLEARS HIS THROA Cup o' tea.
HOVE EXHALES IN EXASPERATED MANNER RATTLING RATTLING STOPS POMPIDOU! HE GIBBERS IN PANIC HE PROTESTS IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE Out! POMPIDOU WAILS You hurt me! WHIMPERING: Really hurt me.
HE WHIMPERS HE MUTTERS DETERMINEDLY CHANTS: No, no, no! Rights for Pompidou! POMPIDOU CONTINUES TO CHAN POMPIDOU CONTINUES TO CHAN No.
POMPIDOU CONTINUES TO CHAN No.
POMPIDOU CONTINUES TO CHAN SING-SONG VOICE: Ho-ove? Ho-ove? It's Pompi.
It's Pompidou.
Oh Shoe Shoe Shoe Oh, and Yes, yes Yes, er Yes Oh! HE GIBBERS IN CHEERFUL CONSOLATION Hm.
Yes.
Yes, that's Well Well We Ah! Oh.
Oh Hm.
Ah! Heyho! Eh? Eh?! Oh Urgh.
HE MUTTERS INSTRUCTIONS POMPIDOU MUTTERS DISTRACTEDLY HE PLAYS A JOLLY TUNE # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy doo # Doo doo-doo doo # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la Pompy dompy dompy doo!