Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Christmas Joy

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, it's barely morning.
Just hold up.
I know you're excited, your adrenaline is rushing and your heart rate is pumping just like you got a big case and this is a hot crime scene.
Dad, I just want to see what Santa brought me.
And you will soon enough.
But first, I want you to recreate everything that went down here last night.
Santa came in, sat down, ate his milk and cookies, put the presents under the tree, then something spooked him and he ran out.
That's right.
Maybe you woke up a little earlier than he thought.
It's a pity, too, because he didn't get a chance to finish putting together your brand new bicycle.
Merry Christmas, Shawn.
What took you so long? You know I have to get to my mom and dad's.
Choosing the perfect holiday gifts takes time, Gus.
You can't cut corners.
You have to customize, match the gift with the individual.
Look, I took our Halloween decorations and put Santa hats on them.
What do you think? Look, can we do this later? My sister Joy's flight gets in any minute now.
You have plenty of time.
No, I don't, Shawn.
You know she usually works during the holidays, London, Paris, Hong Kong.
Now that she's home, we have to spend as much time together as possible.
All that time away from home for work, precisely why I didn't go to law school.
Yeah, that and the school part.
Well, hello there.
May I help you? Are you Mr.
Psych? I'm Mr.
Shawn and this is Scrooge Jones.
We're psychic detectives.
Who might you be? My name's Brittany.
Mr.
Shawn, I need to hire you.
I see.
What for? To get Santa out of jail.
All I have is $1.
38.
I hope it's enough.
We couldn't possibly accept that.
He's right.
What else do you have? The policeman dragged him away from the Santa's Village in Solvang.
Please.
You have to help him.
Don't worry, Brittany, there are some wonderful public defenders in the North Pole.
Santa will be out in no time.
But if he's not out by Christmas Eve, he can't deliver his toys.
Uh, this is This is a matter for the police.
Yes, and we never interfere with police matters.
I understand.
Okay.
Good.
Oh, boy.
What are you supposed to do when a child's crying like this? You cave.
Brittany, Mr.
Shawn and I will get Santa out as soon as we get back.
Thank you, Scrooge Jones! Thank you, Mr.
Shawn.
Let's go.
Gus! Gus, we're back from the airport.
Hey, sis! Oh, Gussie! I missed you.
I missed you, too.
You don't know what it's been like not having anyone to talk to.
Well, I want to hear more about this psychic detective agency.
It's very impressive.
As we found out last year when we were both brought up on murder charges.
I still find that hard to believe.
Well, we were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Nobody to blame.
Mmm-mmm.
You two must be pretty good.
It's funny, I don't remember you being psychic.
Oh.
When did this happen? High school.
High school.
Did you two just look at each other? Hmm? No.
No.
You just did it again, as if to corroborate what you were going to say.
Joy, what is this? I mean We're not on trial here.
Joy.
It's Christmas time.
You came through the door and it's like, what? Be merry.
It's not a courtroom.
It's not about law.
So why are you both striking defensive poses? I was just keeping it I was keeping it loose.
Yeah.
Uh, I'm going to be late for work.
Don't forget, I'm covering the night shift.
No, Joy just got here.
Raytheon can wait.
Government planes don't make themselves yet.
It's okay, Daddy.
It'll give me and Gus a chance to catch up.
All right, well, I'll see you in the morning then.
Okay, bye.
Sweetheart, your room's all ready, and I'll just be a little longer in the kitchen.
Let me get this up to your room for you.
I doubt you need all of them.
You can get them later.
I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth I know, you know They just don't have any proof Embrace the deception Learn how to bend Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end Wait a minute! What are we doing? What are we doing? This This cannot happen.
I know.
It was a one-time fling I never told.
Well, thank God.
Gus would be crushed.
We're both adults, okay? No, that's where you're wrong.
We're not adults.
You are Gus' big sister with the tassels on the handlebars of a banana seat bike, and I am Gus' best friend who put a frog on top of your head.
Listen, listen, we can't fool around, especially not in your living room.
For Gus' sake, we have to fight it! Speak for yourself.
You know, Joy, since you're so interested in Psych, you should spend as much time with me and Shawn as possible.
Great.
This is where we do our thing, where it all goes down, where the magic happens.
Do you realize you repeat yourself when you're trying to impress someone? Yeah, right.
Whatever.
Please.
You kind of do.
Told you so.
Touché.
You can't touché yourself.
Sure I can.
Your bad.
It's not my bad.
You can't "my bad" for someone else.
Yeah, but you ain't mad at it, though.
Know what you saying? Will you stop it? Mr.
Spencer, Mr.
Guster, I don't remember hiring you for a case.
Oh, we're here researching a case for another client.
Detective O'Hara's expecting us.
All three of you? Oh, this is my sister Joy.
She's our guest.
Hi.
Um, well technically, you are guests, so that doesn't give you the right to bring your own.
I'm sorry, Chief.
Joy was just excited to see what we do.
Have you ever seen a movie about high school? Yes.
Then you've pretty much seen what they do.
Oh, Chief, she's just a joker.
Sorry, no visitors beyond this point.
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
Wait here just a moment.
Jules, wait up.
Hey, oh, I'm sorry, I got your message.
Things have just been really hectic around here.
Something about the holidays.
Speaking of which, I'm sensing the Santa we've been looking for probably would have been brought in this morning.
Must have been that fight down at Santa's Village in Solvang we got a call about.
Yeah, we sent a paddy wagon down to assist the county.
Where are they now? Well, unfortunately, some poor guy was knocked unconscious during the fight, so we're holding everyone in a holding cell until we can find out who's going to face assault charges.
This way.
And here we are.
Wow, he really does look like Santa.
Excuse me, sir, could you please step out of the way? That's your Santa.
Of course it is.
Let me know if you need anything else.
Dude, our Santa only has defensive wounds.
There's no way he put anybody in a coma.
But I can tell from that guy's bracelet that he's a master of Krav Maga.
His fists are considered deadly weapons.
Since when can you read Hebrew? Since I spent a summer working in a Hasidic deli.
Those were good times.
Shlomo.
Jules, I'm getting something here.
I'm seeing hands, fast as lightning.
It's more than a little exciting.
Kung fu fighting? That's right.
Someone in the fight was a master of martial arts, but not Santa.
He brings peace and joy.
That's right, Gus.
The man I'm thinking of is a lethal machine trained in the martial arts of the Middle East.
Hey! That's him! He's the one who knocked the victim unconscious, and he's the one who should serve time for assault with a deadly weapon.
Assault? I was minding my own business.
I only hit that guy because I was defending Santa.
Nice job, Shawn.
You just saved us hours of processing.
Well, consider it your Christmas gift.
Take him to the interrogation room, please.
And make sure this one gets back to Santa's Village to spread some Christmas cheer.
There's a very sweet little girl counting on it.
We just saved Christmas.
What? So when the cluster of bullets is very tight, we refer to that as precision, not to be confused with accuracy which has to do with the proximity to the intended target.
What's going on here? Just having a conversation with your delightful sister.
Really? Ooh, let me get that for you.
Get that for you? I know exactly what that means.
Shawn, what is the sentence for assaulting a police officer? Whoa! It's okay, buddy.
Sorry, Gus is a little overprotective of his older sister.
What's the deal with you and people's sisters anyway? First Vick and now mine? And aren't you still married? Stand down, Guster.
We were simply having a conversation.
Jeez.
You snow white Lassie, I think Dobson is, uh, calling for you.
Really nice to meet you.
The nerve of some people.
You know, Gus, hey! I'm a big girl, and I can see whoever I want, thank you.
No, not if that person's supposed to be a friend of mine.
Uh-uh.
Hell no.
Yeah, well, you weren't there to see its little face looking up at me meowing for milk and warmth and shelter, were you, Garth? Fine.
Thanks.
Apparently, my apartment is infested with fleas.
May or may not have something to do with the stray cat that I took in, but they cannot blame me for infesting the entire building.
One adult female flea lays thousands of eggs.
Wow.
That's a little bit frightening.
I need some place to crash while they fumigate.
I'd stay at my dad's, but he's got some of his lodge buddies in town.
Well, Gus and I are staying with our folks for the holidays.
Why don't you stay with us? Oh, I don't know, Joy Shawn, please.
There, it's settled.
Look.
What is it? I saved your butt this time, Daddy! You're lucky I didn't leave you in there to rot! Now we only have three days left! Don't screw up again! Jeez, I'm sorry.
She's a little con artist.
I bet she had more than $1.
38 on her, too.
Dude, we got conned on Christmas.
I don't like having my emotions toyed with like that.
Well, we ran fingerprints on everyone.
His name was Carl Wilcox, and according to police records, he is a known con man.
Now we only have three days left! Whatever it is, they must be planning it for the 24th.
We just need to get proof.
Thank you, Jules.
You're welcome.
What? What? Here you go, ma'am.
Enjoy.
Ho, ho, ho, have you been good this year? All right, so that'll be We can send them to a home address.
Just check the box.
Okay, well, you keep those grades up so that we can give you everything on your list, okay? All right.
Who is next in line to see Santa? Excuse us.
I don't think Santa's lap is big enough for you boys.
Cut the crap, Carl.
We know you conned us into getting you out of jail.
Okay.
Not here, all right? Santa's going to take a five.
Be right back.
Hey, what blind kid did you steal that from? Why would a blind kid have a videogame? You have cooties on your face.
Shawn! She started it.
You started it.
She gave me the stink eye.
She was playing a videogame.
She's a little Shawn.
Okay, look, guys, I really appreciate you getting me out of jail.
But I'm working, okay? Why don't you come back, and we can have a little reindeer lunch break.
Or maybe you'd like to tell us about that little con you have planned for the 24th.
Here's the thing, Carl.
We're on to you.
Both of you.
A couple of smart guys, huh? Maybe too smart for your own good.
This guy.
Don't hit me! Whoa! Whoa! Slow down, Santa! Not so fast, Saint Nick, huh? International sign of guilt, buddy! Look at those guys! Hey, those are the same two guys I saw cut in line! They don't even have kids! This is not good.
All right.
Enough of you two.
Let's go.
I've never been kicked out of Santa's Village before, Shawn.
You're gonna get used to it.
I don't want to get used to it.
It's humiliating.
We still don't know what crime Carl and Brittany are planning for Christmas Eve.
Good night, guys.
Good night.
Good night, Joy.
See you in the morning.
It's like they're mocking us, you know.
It feels like a slap in the face.
Not a Rhett Butler slap, an Ike Turner slap.
Mmm.
But we still have a few days to figure it out.
Let's just go to bed.
Cool.
Good night, dude.
Good night.
This is ridiculous.
Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Shawn? Mr.
Guster? You're supposed to be asleep.
What are you doing here? I thought that I heard a noise or something.
You're supposed to be working the night shift.
What are you doing home? I I forgot something.
Oh! So I guess you'll be going back to work, then? And I guess you, you'll be going back to sleep? Why aren't you leaving? It's my house.
I can leave when I want to! You want to tell me what you were looking for down here? Whoa, I'm getting something here.
You weren't at work like you said you were.
I see a projector, a movie projector.
You're not going to be reading me.
Yes.
Uh-uh.
No, no.
Oh, Mister, please No, no.
That's ridiculous.
No, stick and move.
Stick and move.
Sir, please don't do that.
I already had the vision.
It's over.
The vision's over.
I've had it.
It's done.
You lied to your family about working the night shift.
The truth is I lost my job at Raytheon a month ago.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Why are you keeping it a secret? It's Christmas time.
Joy's home.
I didn't want everybody to worry.
So I go out on interviews all through the day and hang out at the movies or a coffee shop at night.
The family thinks I'm doing my night shift.
And this is between me and you and that lamp over there, right? You're saying the lawn chair isn't trustworthy? Oh, be serious, boy.
So we're cool, right? Oh, we're cool, Mr.
G.
I would hate to think that things change because you betrayed my trust.
Believe me, you don't have to worry about that.
The problem is Carl already knows we're on to him.
He's not going to let us get close enough to figure out what he's up to.
Unless we're You guys ready to grab lunch? Good idea.
You could use a pick-me-up.
I'm sorry, man.
I just, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
Um, unless, of course, we could figure out a way to snoop around Santa's Village without Carl knowing.
How are we going to do that? I can help.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you.
We can use all the help we can get for the Christmas rush.
All right, enough of you two.
Let's go.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Great job! Thank you.
Make sure you sign up for Carl's shift.
Okay.
Stay close to him.
Let us know what you find out.
We'll pick you up later.
I'm on it.
What the heck are you looking at? That is a beautiful wreath.
I hear that.
So? Did Carl realize you were checking up on him? He didn't suspect a thing.
What did you find out? I'm sorry, guys, but Carl seems like he's on the up and up.
You didn't see him talking with any shady characters? No.
Just the kids.
And you know what? He's a pretty good Santa.
I mean, he doesn't just ask them what they want, he asked the kids what they like most about Christmas, what they're most thankful for, what relatives they're going to visit.
It's quite touching.
So that'll be We can send them to a home address.
Just check the box.
Wait a minute, that's it.
What? What do you see? Are you having a vision? It's a small, tiny vision.
Cold shower, baseball stats, watching my grandmother eat meatloaf.
Shawn! I see Carl and Ted standing in front of a computer screen with a list of addresses, getting the information from the kids about who's traveling over the holidays, gives them a built-in list of empty houses to rob.
That's why he had to be out of jail on Christmas Eve.
We need to warn the police before tomorrow.
What the heck are you looking at? That Look how cute the little snowman is.
I hear that.
His car is still here.
So where is Carl? Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, much less a robber.
Really? No one is here.
Not a single person.
Hello? Great.
Thanks for dragging us out here for nothing, Spencer.
You're sure you sensed something was going to happen tonight? Maybe we just missed them.
We could try to figure out which houses they were planning on robbing.
What do you start doing, just randomly knocking on doors? We've got better things to do.
Come on, O'Hara.
How often are you wrong like this? Not often.
Often.
As usual, they neglected to make one of the wise men black.
I thought everyone knew about Balthazar.
It's Ted.
We're not dealing with con artists.
We're dealing with murderers.
Thank you for coming, Mr.
Spencer.
Now that this has become a murder case, we're amping up the investigation.
As you can imagine, the city wants people to feel safe this holiday season.
We brought Carl into custody this morning.
Brittany's in the conference room with Child Protective Services.
So far, we haven't found anything that can link Carl to the murder, so technically, we can only charge him with conspiracy to commit burglary.
But we're willing to recommend that the D.
A.
Cut a deal if he cooperates in the murder investigation.
Did he take it? He says he'll only talk to you guys.
So I need to know what you can get out of him.
Let's close the book on this one pronto.
I admit it, the Santa job was just a long con to rob some people, okay.
But you've got to believe me, I could never have killed Ted.
I know.
Ted was your inside man.
I kept that from the police.
All right, Ted and I were partners for a long time.
We scammed people all up and down the coast, but we were just con men.
We never physically hurt anybody.
That wasn't our thing.
Listen, whoever it was that killed Ted might be coming after me next, or even worse, after Brittany.
I don't trust the cops to protect us.
You got to stop them.
How can we believe anything you say, Carl? Fool us once, shame on you, fool us twice, shame on us.
Fool us thrice makes an ass out of you and me.
Nope.
We're soon parted? That's a fool and his money.
What a fool believes? Shawn.
Look, if they kill me, they're just going to throw Brittany back in the system.
Now, she's a tough little girl, but she's already been through a lot, all right? And I'm all she's got.
Sorry, man.
We don't trust you as far as Gus can throw you.
Now we know where Brittany got this little trick.
Oh, dude, I think he's really crying.
Shawn, you know I can't handle it when a grown man cries.
I'm a sympathetic crier.
What? I Ok, fine! Fine.
We'll see what we can do, but you have to promise to cooperate fully.
Otherwise, we'll have you dragged right back in here for this Christmas con.
Deal.
Thank you.
Stop it.
Do you know who may have wanted to hurt you or Ted? We might have kind of owed someone a little money.
How about you be a little more specific? We were into our bookie for 10 grand.
That's why we were going to do the robberies.
Do you know where we can find this bookie? Frank works at two bars, O'Neil's and The Wild Ox.
Sweet.
We'll have to split up.
You in the mood for Hepatitis A or C? Excuse me.
Where is Frank? All right.
Get me $10 on Do Not Resuscitate in the fifth race.
I don't have any cash, but give me your PayPal account, I'll make a secure deposit online.
Some kind of joke? Maybe I should introduce myself.
Shawn Spencer, psychic detective.
I'm here to talk to you about couple of your customers, namely Carl and Ted.
Well, I hope it's about those two bums paying me the money they owe me.
It's going to be tough for Ted to pay you back, seeing as how he's dead and everything.
When did this happen? Last night.
As if you didn't already know.
Come on, Frank, I know the game.
Somebody loses big, they can't come up with the cash, you got to send a little message.
Isn't that the code? There's a bigger code than that.
Dead men don't pay back debts.
Injured men do.
So I'm not your guy.
Besides, there's a bar room full of witnesses who can vouch for my whereabouts last night.
Now, if you'll excuse me, a paying customer's just arrived.
Fine.
That's weird.
Mrs.
G! What in the world are you doing here? Do you know what this guy does? Oh, this is so embarrassing.
Um, Shawn I recently made the first and the only bet in my life.
But you're Gus's mom, for goodness sakes.
I know.
I know.
And normally, gambling isn't something that I would approve of, but Susan in accounting has this cousin Jeff, nice guy.
He knows someone who knows someone who knows Frank.
I already told you this, Frank.
I wasn't listening.
Anyway, it all seemed like fate at the time until I lost.
Oh, oh, I felt terrible and I learned a valuable lesson about the perils of gambling.
Long story short, I I lost my Christmas money.
Shawn, you have to promise not to tell my husband.
I don't want him to know about my secret vice.
Oh, Mrs.
G.
First of all, one time is not a vice.
It was a momentary lapse in judgment, maybe a jones.
Secondly, I am psychically detecting that Mr.
Guster will not be angry with you for keeping a secret from the family.
He'll understand.
What are you guys doing up? It's barely light outside.
Have a seat, dear.
Wow! Christmas at my house never starts until after the football game.
Well, you're just in time to open presents.
Gee, I wonder if Santa put money in our stockings even though he knows we don't need it.
Hey, where's my Christmas money? I was looking forward to that! I thought you had this handled.
With me working the night shift, I didn't have time to I have been cooking, cleaning, getting the house ready.
I've been swamped.
I'm not going to lie.
Honey, I made a horrible mistake.
I know how you feel about gambling, there's no place for it in the Guster house, but I placed a bet with a bookie and I lost all my spending money.
Oh, Winnie! Mom! You know how to find a bookie? I am sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
Please forgive me.
Winnie Guster placed a bet.
She Oh, honey, of course we forgive you.
Come here.
In fact, you've inspired me to come clean about something too.
I, uh I got laid off from my job a month ago.
And before you all start worrying, it's okay.
I've already got a couple of callbacks for some interviews.
I just couldn't bring myself to admit it to you guys.
Oh, Daddy.
You know you could have come to us.
Yeah, I mean, layoffs are common in this economy.
We understand.
Oh, sweetheart, you'll always be a good provider.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Hey! Hey, you down there.
You deserve some of this.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
It was Shawn who helped me realize that I could trust you guys with the truth.
Yes, he was there when I needed him, too.
Come on up here, boy.
Oh, oh, okay.
Group hug! Group hug! What? Um, I have something to confess, too.
Actually, Shawn and I do.
No, we don't.
Yes, we do.
No, we don't.
Please.
We had a romantic tryst 10 years ago.
Just a little something something.
But with everyone's blessing, we would like to pick up where we left off.
You fooled around with my sister? Please don't say fooled around.
That makes it sound so dirty.
One time.
Just because I'm not here doesn't make her not my sister! Or our baby girl.
Point of information, I am not a baby.
What happened to all the love and the forgiveness from just a second ago? Oh, my mistake wasn't this bad.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Are you implying that my mistake was worse than yours? Because yours was a lot worse.
Excuse me, I have a job.
I knew it.
I knew it was coming.
Who loses a job after 35 years? You see? That's why you lost all your little money.
God don't like ugly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, no, he didn't.
Oh, no, he did not.
Wait, wait a second.
I'm the one that should be upset here.
Everyone in here was lying to me.
Grow up.
I can't see who I want because you can't handle it.
You fooled around with my best friend.
You'll do whatever you can just to be the center of attention, won't you? Forehead! Ears! What? I'm so sorry, man.
Goodbye, Shawn! Yeah, yeah, shrimp, I got it.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
Hi, Dad, merry Christmas.
Hey, Shawn, I thought you were staying over at the Gusters'.
Yeah, well, I kind of, sort of ruined Christmas at that house.
What did you do this time? Gus's sister and I sort of hooked up a while back, and for some unknown reason she announced it to the whole family, and now Gus is pissed and he's kicking people out.
Yeah, well, fooling around with your best friend's sister certainly wasn't your most brilliant idea.
No, that was the toaster alarm I invented in the third grade that woke you up by smacking you in the face with a waffle.
I think I peaked too soon.
All right, look, Shawn, of course Gus is going to overreact.
He's more than just your friend, he's your partner.
There's a special kind of trust there.
When you find out you've been lied to by your partner, you get angry.
I saw it on the force all the time.
We scammed people all up and down the coast.
Dad, that's it.
That's it! I bet Carl and Ted have another partner.
Carl and Ted? How many relatives do the Gusters have? I gotta go! I have a break in the case! Wait Merry Christmas! Where's the shrimp? Yeah! Yeah! I'm sorry for taking you away from your family on Christmas, Jules.
Oh, it's fine.
Where's Gus? We had a fight.
He totally overreacted.
Back in the day, his sister and I had this teeny, weenie little fling.
You're going to take his side.
I can't believe this.
I'm just saying it's a little inappropriate.
Don't worry, it was way before I knew you.
Why would that matter? It might.
It doesn't.
It could.
It won't.
Let's carry on.
So I pulled all of Carl and Ted's court records from across the state like you said.
Your psychic sense about them was right.
Look at this.
10 years ago in Fresno, Carl and Ted turned state's evidence in an assault and robbery case.
They implicated someone named Moncrief Johnson.
See, I knew I had heard that name before, but I thought it was the black quarterback that replaced Woody Harrelson in Wildcats.
Then I remembered he was the guy who was knocked unconscious in the fight at the mall.
It was the same fight Carl was involved in.
And guess what else.
He was released from the hospital the same day that Ted's body was found at the mall.
We never physically hurt anyone.
That wasn't our thing.
I'm getting something here.
Carl and Ted turned state's evidence because he started using violence, which wasn't their M.
O.
Moncrief wasn't an innocent victim at the fight at the mall.
He started it.
Carl didn't realize he had gotten out of prison and was hunting them down.
But the Krav Maga expert knocked him out before he could get to Carl.
When Moncrief got out of the hospital, he picked up right where he left off.
Only this time, he didn't rely on his fists.
He's probably going to make his move before Carl can get away again.
You call Lassie.
I have to warn Carl.
Ho, ho, ho.
Moncrief Johnson, you're under arrest for the murder of Theodore Meltregger and the attempted murder of Carl Wilcox.
I think you made the naughty list.
Congratulations, Shawn.
We got him.
Thanks for believing me this time.
Thanks for saving my daddy.
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
All right, folks, clear the area.
All right, you guys can come with me.
Hey, man, look.
I'm not a parent, nor an uncle, or even a godfather.
I think children are sticky.
But look, one thing's for certain, and that's that Brittany is a very smart little girl.
She's not going to be little for long.
When these times are gone, she'll be out there making her own choices.
I mean, do you really think you're teaching her to make the right choices? Please don't.
I'm a grown man.
She's right over there.
Carl! Thank you.
Oh, here comes your dad.
Daddy.
Come on, let's go.
What do you want? Uh, I feel Good enough for me.
Come on in.
What is going on here? When I left, you guys were furious with each other.
We stayed that way for a while, but we got over it.
Like we always do.
See, it's not the first time that we got mad because one of us did something stupid.
And it won't be the last.
Our rule is you can get as mad as you like, as long as you spend the same amount of energy working it out afterwards.
It took a lot of energy for us to work out how we felt about the secret the two of you were keeping.
But they got over it.
Then we realized you frustrate us the way only family can, so we decided to forgive you too.
Thanks, man.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, and as far as your sleeping arrangements, well, you don't have to go home, but you got to get the hell up out of here.
I hear that.
Say that.
Got you.
Merry Christmas, though.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Hey! Oh, hey! Hey, Shawn.
I just came by to drop off your gift.
What happened to your lodge buddies? Oh, I made the mistake of telling Singleton his wife was getting hippy.
It was just a joke.
I didn't mean anything by it.
But tempers started to flare, the next thing you know, the room was divided into two camps, hippy and not hippy.
Needless to say, it was time to send everybody's ass home.
Wow.
I'm really sorry to hear that, Pop.
No worries because we still have our tradition to do, right? And my winning streak is about to be extended.
Oh, my! Did we get each other the same No.
Now, you see, I figured you'd pull a stunt like this, so mine is just a decoy.
Your real present You're so predictable, which is why I hid your real present Now, this is just uncanny.
You better not have gotten me the same iPhone I got you.
Don't be ridiculous.
I got you the Psych iPhone skin.
But, silly me, you don't have an iPhone, so I'll just keep it for my new one.
And my winning streak continues.
Merry Christmas.
In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity I'm not inclined to resign to maturity If it's all right then you're all wrong But why bounce around to the same damn song? You'd rather run when you can't crawl I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth I know, you know They just don't have any proof Embrace the deception Learn how to bend Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end I know, you know I know, you know