Psych Episode Scripts

N/A - Bollywood Homicide

Special girl, huh? Yeah, kind of.
It's nice to see you applying yourself.
It looks like you put a lot of work into that.
Thanks, dad, but I don't know if I'm gonna send it.
Why? Why, Shawn? - There are obstacles.
- Obstacles? All couples have obstacles.
The key to it is, you're never gonna know unless you put yourself out there.
- Gus says it'll never work.
- What does Gus know? Gus is 12.
You remember at that skate party how he cried when that girl touched his arm? Come on.
- What do you think? - Let's see.
The heart is good.
You tell her that she's pretty, but not in an creepy, aggressive kind of way.
I like that.
Down here, I think what you wanna do is, I think you wanna tell her that you'd like to call her sometime.
Do that.
It looks like you forgot to address it there.
You want to write her name big and pretty, make her think she's important.
You know how sometimes I write and I do the calligraphy with big loops and swooping letters? Do that, do that up there.
Dad, could you do it? Yeah, sure, I guess.
All right, what's her name? Mrs.
What's wrong? I hate having to hide what we have.
You know, we can't really be together until you tell her.
I will.
Mina? You're back on in two minutes.
- I'll go.
- No.
I don't want to disturb your ritual.
It's bad luck.
This is my "I told you so" room, where I like to gloat after a completely wild accusation turns out to be spot on.
That's my "oops" corner, where I apologize to people for being arrested after a completely wild accusation turns out to be just that.
Over there is where you get gum.
- Free, by the way.
- What? - This is - I know you.
I met you at our high-school reunion.
Yes, you did.
- Shawn tells me you're a teacher.
- Yeah, kindergarten.
That's great.
I think that's great.
I mean, kids they're so great.
That must be really fun.
You know, I loved my kindergarten teacher.
Before I went into law enforcement, I actually considered teach This is detective Carlton Lassiter.
I do his job and sometimes his hair, though clearly not today.
I'm really sorry.
I can't play with you today.
I'm about to go solve another case and do it in record time.
It is at this point that I must decide which part of that very bold statement to riff off of.
Now, I can hone in on "another", which implies - that he's solved more than one.
- That's pretty easy, though.
Or I crack down on "record time" and the positive, for him, record time is, like, 2 and half years.
- Good, not great.
- You drive a hard bargain.
- You love it.
- I know.
Why don't you go home and wait for me not to call you? He's just saying that so that it'll be more dramatic later on - when he has to ask for my help.
- More dramatic for who? I don't know.
That guy, I guess.
All right, so what exactly is this information about the accident behind the theater earlier? This was no accident.
Really? Well, that's helpful.
And you You know the victim? Victims, plural.
Mina wasn't the only one.
Fortunately, she is the only one who didn't get hurt.
Sir, you are exactly what I needed today.
We're gonna have to do this quick while his girlfriend is still waiting.
Whose girlfriend? Never you mind.
I'm thinking out loud.
Don't want to interrupt your flow.
I like what you're saying, so let's just go straight to the million-dollar question: who exactly is responsible? I am.
I hurt them all.
I'm a danger to everyone around me.
All right, Mr.
Singh, this is how it's gonna work.
See, sometimes there are these bleeding-heart activist judges who won't take a detective's iron-clad word for it when he gets a perfectly uncoerced confession.
So just so we're clear, I'd like you to write everything down.
When you did it, where you did it, why you did it.
Now, the why is very important.
- You're done? - Yes.
You just wrote, like, three words.
Would you excuse me? I'll just be a minute.
This place was actually built by the Amish, which explains the complete and utter lack of zippers.
I was too harsh.
- When? - Just now.
Perhaps always.
The truth is, the guy in the interrogation room "A" is a solid lead, and I just don't have the - You know, to follow through.
- What exactly are you trying to say? I'm saying I need your help.
All right, but only if Abigail can watch.
I'll put a chair in the viewing room.
Thanks, buddy.
This should be interesting.
First, I want to tell you that I love you.
Secondly What can I do for you? Raj.
- Can I call you Roger? - First name's Rajesh.
I'll stick with Roger.
I'm going to tell you what I do.
I don't want you to freak out because it's so cool.
I'm a psychic, a great and powerful psychic whose powers inspire fear and awe in those who first experience them.
I am a crime-solving machine, and I have closed over 50 cases, many without pants.
Finally, someone who will understand me.
You can talk to me.
I am your friend.
I hurt people, lots of people, lots of innocent people.
It's funny, 'cause you don't really strike me as a violent guy.
How could you commit these crimes? I can't help it.
The attacks, they just happen.
I see.
And what, you use some sort of weapon? I am the weapon.
Really? And it's immediate.
Even I can't predict it.
I can just be alone in a room with somebody.
Got it.
In that case, Raj, I think all that's left here, question-wise, is "why?" I mean, why, why, why do you hurt these people? Why have I hurt these people? You got to see this.
Wait for it.
Here it comes.
It's because I It's because I'm It's because I'm cursed.
Yes, I win.
Finally! Finally I put one over on him.
This is This is completely satisfying.
You're a psychic.
You must believe me.
You must be able to help me.
Can you? Yes, I can, Roger.
I will break your curse, and I will solve this case, mostly Because the detective who was in here earlier cannot.
This is so good.
Psych 406 "Bollywood Homicide" Timing: Psych Team - Where are the bunnies? - What? You said someone left a dozen bunnies, and you didn't know how to feed them.
I made that up.
I just needed you here, man.
- This is about a case, isn't it? - What do you think? I should have known, when you said they were falling asleep in your hand.
Look, I was humiliated by Lassiter, Carlton Lassiter.
A challenge has been issued, I need every tool we've got.
- Are you calling me a tool? - I'm calling you my partner.
My logic brain, my magic wish machine.
What have we got? My name is Raj.
I have a curse.
I don't do curses.
You know that.
- Gus, come on.
- That mummy almost sucked my eyes out.
- It wasn't a mummy.
- Yes, it was.
It was a snobby guy and an effeminate dude in a wheelchair.
Apples and oranges.
This is a love curse.
This poor guy thinks there's some kind of hex on all the girls he tries to hook up with.
We investigate, find some evidence, convince him he's not cursed so that he can live a full and happy life with his lady love.
Man, this is a matter of the heart.
- He's paying us, right? - Yeah, cash.
The last four women that I've dated have all had terrible accidents.
And with each girl, it gets worse and worse.
The first one had a car accident.
Another's apartment burned down.
What do you do after these things happen? I break up with them.
I have tried to be alone, believe me, I have, but then I met Mina, and my heart couldn't help itself.
I keep thinking that the next time will be different, but every woman that I fall in love with is targeted by forces I can't fight.
Do you have any enemies in this world? I'm a nice guy.
I don't know why anybody would want to curse me.
You are a nice guy, Roger.
And I presume you could teach us both a thing or two about cricket.
But let's not jump to conclusions.
Show me where this accident occurred.
It was just inappropriate, Carlton, with his girlfriend standing there.
When has anything he's ever done to me been appropriate? Having his girlfriend there was just a gift from god for all my good deeds.
Speak of the devil.
I want you to know that I am not gonna gloat about what happened yesterday.
Yesterday, why? What happened? What day is this? The truck ended up striking the dumpster, fortunately, which pinned the girl between the grill and the wall, but left her enough room to escape without serious injury.
We talked to the driver, who swears that he put blocks under the tires to prevent the truck from rolling down the alley, which is on an incline.
- So it is a case? - I checked out the driver.
He's been written up twice for failing to take basic safety precautions.
- So it's not a case? - We don't know yet.
The brakes haven't been checked in 15 years.
It looks like an accident.
- Like your hair.
- Really? Down to hair jokes now? That is so sweet.
Look how much he cares for her.
He's really taking this accident pretty hard.
My brother Jay is a choreographer, he's been trying to get this playhouse to put on a bollywood-style show for years.
There he is.
Come on, now.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Mina said she was coming in to rehearsals today.
I'm just gonna go check on her, make sure she's okay after the accident.
- You don't think Lassiter may be right? - Gus, please.
Don't be Harry Potter and the prisoner of marzipan.
- Azkaban.
- I've read it both ways.
- No, you haven't.
- Of course I don't think he's right, but it's not looking too good for Raj's whole curse idea either.
How many of you have seen All That Jazz? No? White nights? Gregory Hines, Baryshnikov? That explains everything.
We're gonna redo the whole routine.
Go wait in my dressing room.
Go, go, go.
Lakshmi, she's Mina's understudy.
Yes, she is.
So it's safe to assume that you don't believe in this curse? Everything that goes wrong in his life, he blames on the curse.
I mean, it's a crutch.
Don't get me wrong, I love him like a brother.
He is your brother.
Yeah, by blood, but he doesn't live in the same world as the rest of us.
He lives in a world of magic and goblins, and what he needs to do is step into reality, okay? Up! Talk some sense into him.
I'm getting married in a month, I would love to have a reasonable person as my best man.
He believes in you, psychic, for better or for worse.
That butterfly was right.
Raj is a guy that just needs to get out of his own head.
Everything bad that happens to him, he interprets as some sort of divine intervention.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How do we break him out of the pattern? Apparently he believes in me, so I will lift his curse, and you will be my special helper.
Cursed girlfriend-ruiner, be gone.
This seems dangerous.
You're not letting the curse leave your body.
- He's right.
You could electrocute him.
- Really? - His hand is in water.
- You tell me that now.
You saw what I was doing us at that bowl.
Repeat after me.
"I am not cursed.
- "It's all in my head.
" - But it's not all in my head.
You have to say it in order to believe it.
Let me do the rest.
- Who is the professional here? - You? Close your eyes.
I am not cursed.
It's all in my head.
- I'm feeling it.
- Really? Get me the hedge clippers.
I guess I am feeling something.
It's tingling.
That's the electrical breaker shorting out.
- What? - It's shorting out.
His hand's in water.
Are you here? Give me a hand, I got some groceries here.
- Hallelujah, the curse is broken.
- What? All gone.
Get your coat.
- Broken? - All broken.
Let's get out efore it finds you again.
All gone.
You're curse-free.
What the hell? Smoke in my living room? Dad, it's not smoke.
It's just a little dry ice, okay? We're helping a client by freeing him of the feelings that he might be cursed.
The guy that's got the girlfriends that keep dropping like flies? One girl that we know of for sure.
She almost got crushed by a runaway truck, but she's fine, relatively.
- Did you talk to her? - I didn't need to.
She's not gonna crush herself.
All right, just clean up this crap.
That's me, cleaning machine.
You seem different.
What? Aren't you gonna introduce me to your whoever they are? That's Shawn and Greg.
And they helped me out with a problem earlier, and I owe them.
Can you hook my friends up with two tickets for tonight's performance? Standing room, back of the theater - Some reward.
- Come on, Greg.
Let's just congratulate each other on a job well done and enjoy this explosion of culture.
- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? Just celebrating another successful conclusion to a case.
- In record time.
- What? Really? Then you know that the brake lines on the truck were severed? Look, Lassie, that truck was very old.
Parts can snap at any time.
You also know, the safety blocks that should have been under the tires were found in the dumpster.
Maybe we should have done some actual investigating.
- You think? - What are you two talking about? Nothing.
I just might need to go up there.
No, Shawn, you do not go up under any circumstances.
- I think we made a huge mistake.
- I don't care.
- Shawn, stop it! - Let go! Don't go boneless on me My back! I got you.
I told you it was a curse.
Did you notice anything suspicious around the stage today? And you can't think of anyone that's been threatening you? No one.
Don't you worry, miss.
I'm gonna find the person who did this.
I'm done.
You can take her.
Raj, will you meet me at the hospital? No, I can't.
- I have to go.
- Go where? I need you.
This is all my fault.
I am so sorry For everything.
Raj, come back! They're taking Mina for x-rays.
Some uniforms stay with her, then take her home.
We should send a unit to secure her residence as well.
This ladder is really built for one.
Jules, lots of things say they're built for one, but can easily fit two people.
Tanning beds, iron lung That's just to name two.
Why are you still here? II thought you solved this case hours ago.
- Lassiter's really got your goat, huh? - Yeah, he does, and I want it back.
God knows what he's doing to that poor thing.
You don't really believe in love curses, do you? Jules, I'm a psychic.
I have to remain open to any number of Why, do you? Well, I think that everybody who's looking for a soul mate may, at one time, feel that there are outside forces conspiring against them, but Shawn, what are you doing? It wasn't a curse Not this time.
That wasn't gonna hold Mina for long.
Snapped in two and painted to look like metal.
This means we're looking for a real flesh and blood human being or a genetically enhanced monkey.
Either way, someone wanted to hurt this girl.
I'll have forensics see what they can get off of these.
- This doesn't make sense.
- Why? Because there were, like, I mean, how would the perpetrator know that this trapdoor would give way at the precise moment that Mina danced across it? What are we doing here? I thought we were going to a movie.
Yes, movie, later.
But first, Gus and I need to knock off some quick case business.
You! He must've mistaken us for someone else.
Go away, Shawn! I wonder how many Shawns he knows.
I should double-check.
You are a fraud! Dude, if you don't let us in, we're gonna break through your window.
We need to talk to you.
We got to figure out who could've wanted to hurt Mina.
It's okay.
Curse breaker? You ridicule me? My hand in a bowl of water? You could've gotten Mina killed.
The reason the ceremony didn't work, Raj, is because you are not cursed.
- It was sabotage, and I know this.
- And how can you be so sure? Because I happen to travel in these sort of metaphysical arenas, dude.
As sure as I am that Gus will accidentally cause his own death I know that you are not cursed.
Now, we need to talk to you and Mina.
Is she here or what? Who's out there? Come on.
More mouths to feed.
Thank you for the advance notice.
No, we didn't come to eat.
You know, guys, my grandmother tends to make her food a little spicy.
- You might want to take it easy.
- Please.
I'm one-quarter Jamaican.
- I'm also one-quarter Jamaican.
- You are not! Stop telling people that! So how do you know my grandson Jay? We're actually friends of Raj.
You're not here for Jay and Sita's engagement dinner? We're helping Raj with a problem.
I'm sorry, was this chicken seasoned with molten lava? Sorry about that Wedding stuff.
Hi, I'm Sita.
Did you get the mango leaves? They're not in season.
How can we have a wedding without mango leaves? Very inauspicious.
We could push the wedding date, if it means that much to you.
Again? How many times are we gonna do this? Until it's right.
But I already booked Kajagoogoo for the party.
What do you mean, like a cover band? Come on, kid.
Don't worry.
It's gonna be great.
It'll be beautiful.
This wedding business is more trouble than it's worth.
Better than being alone forever.
Really? You're just fine? I taught English to children in Mumbai for a month.
This is very authentic.
What's the matter, Shawn, you don't like it? - I think I like it too much.
- It's so authentic.
I can't see anything out of my left eye.
I see dead people.
- My god, even the water's spicy.
- Who does that? What are you watching? Footage from the night that Mina was almost killed.
On the right screen is a performance from a week ago.
Why you watching this? We were there.
Went over the stage with a comb.
Just something that Shawn said at the crime scene.
Do you see what I see? Looks like I better get a warrant.
All right.
I'm sorry, no offense, but it's stupid that you people eat food this hot.
I said "no offense," right? You should marry her.
She's not on tonight's menu, sorry.
She's so much better than your other lady friends.
There were some real gems amongst those.
Dadi, those were all very nice people.
And you found all of the things that you said were stolen.
More uninvited guests.
Thank you all very much.
I'll just go to my garden and harvest some food.
Okay, I will get that.
Spencer, excellent.
I'm so glad that you're here to see me close your case.
Would you like a little insight into our process? You see, first we start by asking a few simple questions.
Jay, would you mind telling me who has changed the choreography so that only Mina danced over the trapdoor? Of course, I changed the choreography, but I had no idea And who originally wanted Mina's understudy for the role? Well, I originally recommended Lakshmi, but then I grew to appreciate Mina, especially after she and Raj started You have to stop him.
Sorry, I don't think it'll be possible.
You see, my partner's already searching his apartment as we speak, and guess what she already found? Turns out Jay's the one that rented and had access to the truck that almost killed Mina.
Jawaharlal Singh, stand up, put your hands behind your back.
You're under arrest for attempted murder.
- Stand up.
- What? Let's go, tough guy.
Lassie, you can't do this.
You're way, way off base.
What are you talking about? You're the one who gave us the choreography lead.
Thank you for that, by the way.
Come on, come on! But we're supposed to get married in a month.
You're destroying my family.
So you came here to help Raj.
But instead you got his brother arrested for attempted murder.
That's correct.
Business as usual? It's a process.
I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.
Don't cry.
We'll sort it out.
- Here's the good news.
- You see what you've done? You ridiculed my curse and my beliefs, and now it's affecting everyone I love.
First it was Mina, then my brother, and now Sita, who's like a sister to me.
Look, Raj, I can fix this.
The case against Jay is pretty strong.
They have motive, means, opportunity.
The only thing they don't have is a video of him committing the crime.
Maybe you can find that for the cops too, Shawn.
Leave us all alone.
You've done enough.
Stop it, Raj.
Just stop.
There is no curse.
Someone is doing this to you.
Really? Then how do you explain what happened to Gita, Raini, Dipti, and Victoria, huh? - He's like a puma.
- We need to get out of here.
- How'd he get up so fast? - I don't know.
- I blinked, and he was right there.
- He's probably right.
We should talk to Gila, Ray Jay, and Dipstick.
You know those names were nowhere near close, right? It all started with the break-in at my condo.
And then a car accident.
Next thing I knew, my apartment was on fire.
We talked about moving in together, right before it ended.
I met his family on Friday, and by the next weekend, it was over.
He seemed really sad to call it off.
Right when things were best, I thought he was the one.
I had that accident.
Then he said we couldn't be together.
Are you as jealous of this guy as I am? More Except for the parts where his girlfriends almost die.
They're releasing my brother, no thanks to you.
Actually, all thanks to me.
I'm the one that lined up his alibi with the timeline of the crime.
I'm the one that found two witnesses that put him someplace else when the sabotage occurred.
And I am the one that got him arrested in the first place.
That last one didn't play.
Just scratch the last one, okay? We spoke to your other girlfriends.
And we have concluded that they were all kind of hot.
That's true.
But more importantly, there's a pattern here.
This person, whoever's out to get you, only strikes when you get serious with someone.
- I don't understand.
- It means it's someone you know.
Or knows you, and they only attack when you've committed to someone.
I've devised a plan to draw out the attacker.
We just need Mina I need to stop you right there.
Mina's gone.
What? - You didn't kill her, did you? - Gus, please, some decorum.
- You didn't, right? - No! I put her on a plane.
I broke it off with her.
Maybe I was just meant to be alone.
You would rather lose her than see the possibility of harm come to her.
You love her that much? - I don't know any other way to love.
- Really? Have you seen 9 1/2 weeks? Or any of Zalman King's other stuff? - What's the plan? - It's not important now.
We were going to dangle Mina out to lure the killer to attack.
You were gonna make the woman I love, the woman I would give my life for - You were gonna make her bait? - Bait? That's a strong fishing term.
We were gonna make her an incentive, since the attacker's only pattern is to keep you from finding love.
I have an idea.
Man, I don't like this.
- You don't like Julia dating somebody.
- Fake dating.
But that's not it.
It's this whole "using her as bait" thing.
You had no problem dangling his girlfriend as bait.
Now you're changing the rules, aren't you? Look at Raj.
He's getting awfully "handsy" over there, taking advantage of the situation like that.
No, he's definitely bugged by O'Hara dating this guy.
Don't leave the talk button on.
That was so good.
I've never had broccoli in a milkshake before.
But just think how good it is for you.
Well, well, well.
It's 11:20.
Look who finally decided to come home.
I'm sorry, Shawn.
- Are you upset about something? - As a matter of fact, I am What did I do? I didn't like this idea to begin with.
You've been on four dates now.
It's been a complete and total failure.
No, Shawn, we've been on three dates.
No, there was the carnival, where Raj won you a big, fat octopus.
There was a long walk on the pier, where he kept brushing your hair gently.
Then there was dinner tonight, where there was a lot of hand-holding.
Who could forget coffee at the police department, where you blushed and squealed and giggled like a schoolgirl? He was there to sign some papers.
- You were watching us? - It's called surveillance.
I "surveillate" things.
I'm a purveyor of "surveillerism.
" Let's not get caught up in wordplay.
The point is, we've been at this charade for 3 weeks, and it's yielded a grand total of nada.
- You're right.
- Of course I am.
You see that? It's clear that the killer doesn't think detective O'Hara is my girlfriend, or maybe they know I'm still in love with Mina.
We can keep at this for six months, we're still not gonna get anywhere.
Unless we did something to remove all doubt, something big.
You said it yourself, it happens when Raj gets serious.
Your entire family's going to the Holi Festival this weekend? I have another idea.
You want to get married? This is so considerate of you.
I always wanted to go to the Festival when I was in India.
Yes, I sensed that.
I'm aware of your immense love for traditional festivals of colors.
There also might be a killer here, and I may need you to block an exit.
What? Fresh laddu.
There's Mrs.
She hates me, and people don't hate me.
I get cards from people I arrest.
She doesn't hate you, okay? Apparently I don't fit the picture of what her perfect Raj deserves.
I am smart, and I am fun, and I am almost always in a good mood.
You're not actually marrying Raj, remember? - Let's just get this show on the road.
- Please.
Hello, everybody.
I see that a lot of my family are here today, and I wanted to share some great news with you.
As many of you know, I've had some trying times lately.
I lost a love that I thought was true and had some trouble within my family.
But this woman here, this beautiful angel has been my savior.
And I know that a lot of you will think it's crazy, and it may be impulsive, but I've asked my beautiful Juliet to marry me, and she accepted.
All right.
Looks like people bought it.
Now we just have to wait.
And watch.
Is it too early for a snack? We've been here five minutes.
All right, I admit it.
I was wrong about the brother.
- We should call a truce.
- That's awfully big of you.
Detective, might I have a word with you? What can I do fo Wait a minute.
You're the guy from the theater, right? I didn't tell you everything the day you questioned me.
On that night just before the accident, I overheard Mina and the Raj guy talking I hate having to hide what we have.
You know we can't really be together until you tell her.
I will.
He was seeing someone else.
Mina was going to expose the affair, giving Raj motive for murder.
He wasn't distraught because he almost lost his girlfriend.
It was guilt over trying to kill her.
His first confession was real.
Who, exactly, is responsible? I am.
I hurt them all.
I'm a danger to everyone around me.
I solved it.
It was Raj.
Truce over.
- You can't take back a truce.
- You coming with me or not? Raj wouldn't cheat on his taxes, much less his girlfriend.
I'll take that as a no.
Tell him, you can't take back a truce.
Indian giver! I meant to insult an entirely different group of Indians.
Sorry about that.
You can't endanger Juliet over a gripe with Lassiter.
I'm not.
You heard the dude from Temple of Doom.
Raj was hiding his relationship, but from who? That's who we're looking for.
And Lassiter's following Raj, who didn't do it.
Then who exactly is watching Jules? There! What happened? Where's Juliet? I got hit from behind.
Next thing I knew, she was gone.
Did you see who? - No, it all happened so fast.
- Do you want me to call an ambulance? I'm fine.
Spread out, everybody.
I want eyes on my partner in 5 minutes.
You, take a break.
Have a sweet ball.
Excuse me.
There! It's gonna be okay, Sita.
Just take it easy.
I know what's going on.
- You do? - Of course I do.
Shut up! Don't come any closer.
I can see I can see it all.
You met Jay.
He proposed.
You accepted.
Then you starting hanging out with the family, mostly Raj.
That's when you realized you were truly in love with Raj, not your fiance.
But you were stuck.
You couldn't call off the engagement, make a play for Raj.
He would never do that to his brother.
So what did you do? Really, dude? Really? - Where was I? - She was stuck.
You were stuck, engaged to one man but in love with his brother.
So you decided to take action.
First, you did everything you could to delay your wedding to Jay.
We could push the wedding date, if it means that much to you.
Then, you sabotaged all of Raj's relationships, waiting for a time when both of you were free, convincing him that he would be by himself for the rest of time, making it easier for you to swoop in at the right moment.
Poor Mina, she was the easiest one of all.
Nobody was gonna question why you were hanging around.
After all, you were engaged to the choreographer.
You swing by, you say, "hi," and that's what granted you access to the crew's trucks.
Probably even had blueprints and keys to the theater.
You even watched the rehearsal to see if the dance steps changed.
Get back.
I'm gonna kill her.
She can't have what I want, because he's mine.
Me and Raj, we're meant to be together.
Let her go.
Let her go, and all of this will be much easier for you.
You were You were crazy in love.
Any fool could see what would drive you to do this.
Word of advice, when you take someone hostage, you might want to check for weapons.
Drop the knife.
Drop it.
- Did Abigail see that? - I'm here.
Yes, you are.
The pain surprised me.
And I wasn't supposed to get slapped by a girl.
It's a process.
It is a process.
- What'd I miss? - Not me getting slapped.
- By a girl.
- 'Cause that didn't happen.
You're caught Assaulting a cop and tons of witnesses.
You're not gonna get away.
Have fun with shock therapy.
I got a wedding invitation from Raj and Mina.
It feels good, bringing people together, watching them sail off into the sunset, giving a good guy the old happily-ever-after.
I felt for Raj.
End of the day, we had a great deal in common.
You gonna go? I barely knew that dude.
And this, Abigail, is where we end our tour, because right here is where I choose not to gloat when I've gotten the best of Lassie.
Right here? It's more all All-overish, I guess.
But I've never done that, though there's a 1st time for everything.
Color me impressed.
I'd rather color you with edible body paints.
Duly noted.
Besides, it's not that impressive.
I solve a case every week and usually one around christmas.
It was so impressive the way you just attacked that mad woman with a knife.
It says so much about your character, about how you feel.
How I feel? You risked your life for a random coworker.
She's not random.
What I mean is, it's part of the job.
I would do that for anybody Colleague, coworker, Corey Haim once.
Wouldn't do it again, to be honest.
Never got a thank you, and I'm sure he stole my medic alert bracelet.
- You have one of those? - It's Gus'.
Long story.
So am I fingerprinting you or what? It's fun, but you'll have little black fingers for, like, a month.
Three stores have been hit in 15 minutes.
Units are in pursuit of the suspects.
Let's roll! Go ahead.
I got the last one.
We'll let Lassie have this one.
Want to do a fake mug shot instead? Are you kidding me right now? We'll need costumes.
Where did I put the key to the evidence locker? The holding cells.