Regular Show (2010) s03e34 Episode Script
The Best VHS in the World
Huh, well, if it ain't Mordo and Rigs.
Hey, is it VH-Fest time again already? Yeah, dude.
Check out our picks.
Hmm.
Let's see what we got here.
Ooh, great director.
Aw, that's a good one.
"Pre-Exploder" was better.
Huh? What the heck, man?! Pan and scan?! Dude, letterbox always! Membership card, por favor? "Beep, beep"? Looks like you dudes have an overdue video.
"The Best VHS in the World," out for two months.
Wha?! "The Best VHS in the World"? Pull over! "The Best VHS in the World!" Dude, this blows.
Take it out.
Why did you pick this one, anyways? Dude, because it's called "The Best VHS in the World.
" Plus, it's made of gold plastic.
Next! Look, you guys need to return the tape and pay the late fee.
But we can't afford a late fee! Yeah.
And what if we can't find it? Then you leave me no choice.
- Stop! - Why should I? All we have is a VCR, and you're the only place in town that still rents tapes! Oh, yeah.
All those other places upgraded to DVD.
Dude, we'll find it.
I think I remember where it is suddenly.
Hmm.
Please! Fine but it's only because you dudes appreciate superior video formats.
Get it back here A.
S.
A.
P.
And I won't cancel your membership.
I'll even waive the fee.
You won't regret this.
I better not or you'll never rent a tape here ever again! Didn't you throw it over there? Uh, I don't see it.
It's got to be around here somewhere.
Check the VCR.
Nothing! Benson probably put it in our room.
Aw, man! Do you have any idea where it could be? No.
I can't even find my bed.
There's just too much junk everywhere! Maybe it's under this empty pizza box.
Aw, there's my butt-cheek pants! But no VHS.
- I know what we have to do.
- Skip town? Clean the room.
That's the worst.
You're the worst.
I'd rather just pay for the stupid tape! That's not a bad idea.
Movie Shack Hut.
- It's Mordecai.
- Dude, the game has changed.
I need that tape back by 9:00.
My manager's doing inventory after we close, and he'll call the collections agency if he finds out it's missing.
What would it cost to just replace the tape? You're not gonna like it.
Dude, just tell me.
$1,000.
$1,000?! It's a rare, out-of-print VHS, a piece of film history! It's a piece, all right.
Just find it by tonight.
I hear those guys break thumbs.
What did he say? We either return the video, pay $1,000, or have our thumbs broken.
We don't have that kind of money, and I really enjoy my thumbs! Dude, dude, chill! How are we gonna find the tape in here if you're just gonna panic and make a bigger mess? Give me one better idea than panicking.
We're gonna buckle down and methodically clean this room until we find that tape.
Fine.
We'll do this the "right way" or whatever.
Whoa! I remember this.
Well, I guess that's it.
There's no other place it could be.
We only have a few hours left.
Now what? What if somebody in the house borrowed it? Dude, yeah! Let's split up and ask everybody.
Dude, where are the balls? You were supposed to bring 'em.
Well, where's your racket? I'm not talking about rackets! I'm talking about balls! But badminton doesn't have balls! What?! I'm not playing a game that doesn't have balls in it! Dudes, dudes, shut up and listen.
Did you ever borrow "The Best VHS in the World" from me and Rigby? No way, loser.
Thanks for nothing.
You're welcome for nothing! Hmm.
Now, where did I put my winter hats? Pops, did you borrow "The Best VHS in the World" from us? VH-who? Never mind.
No, I haven't seen your dumb movie.
I have my own problems, like the extension cord for the drill I can't find and this stupid ventilation system that rattles all the time! I think we might have rats.
Oh, great.
Hey, have any of you guys seen my bass amp anywhere? No.
Did you borrow "The Best VHS in the World?" No.
That movie's terrible.
All right, let's regroup.
Aw, what?! Rigby, you messed up everything! - Dude, it wasn't me! - Yeah, right.
- What does that mean? - It means I don't believe you.
I said I didn't do anything! Dude That's it! Aah! - Oof! This is all your fault! It was your idea to rent "The Best VHS in the World!" Did you say "The Best VHS in the World"? Yeah.
That's my favorite movie.
Dude, that's ours.
We have to take it back to the video store.
- Huh? - We need that tape! No, no! Stop him! There he is! Come on, Mordecai! Keep going! I'm gonna need bigger mousetraps.
Oh, man! Where the tape goes, we go.
Huh? Muscle Man's badminton racket.
Pop's winter hat.
There it is! It's not in the box.
Nothing, man.
Get out of my lair! Show yourself! Give us back the tape! I'll never give you "The Best VHS in the World"! It's my favorite! Dude, it's not even yours! Give it back! You don't deserve it! I saw you throw it away! That's only because it's horrible! We still want it back.
Blasphemy! I'll prove to you it isn't lame! Huh? Check out the desk.
That's right.
I'm a published author, and I think it's awesome! Dude, you just stapled this together yourself.
Nobody's gonna read your lame fanzine, man.
We're gaining readership! Whatever.
I bet this is the only copy.
But look at all this art I painted inspired by it.
This one is of me and "The Best VHS in the World.
" This is me pointing at it! And here's one of it in what I think Hawaii looks like.
Well, what do you think? Maybe take some life-drawing classes? I don't care what you have to say! Dude, not again! We gotta find a light switch! Art is subjective, you know! You don't come into my lair, insult my art and my favorite VHS, and live! Now die, die, die, die! Die? Dude, it's over! Give us the tape.
- Yeah.
- No! Dude, look at yourself.
You're going crazy over that tape, and it's not even any good.
No! You're wrong! It is good! This tape is everything to me.
And if I can't have it, no one can! - No! - You can't do that! If we don't return that tape, we'll lose our video-store membership! Video store? Y-Yeah, yeah! It's a magical place filled with videos, and they're all better than that one.
What?! Have you read the title?! Dude, they just put that on a lame video to get people to rent it.
Silence! I won't let you guys trick me! I know you really love that tape.
We love tapes, too.
We've seen hundreds of them, and that's one of the worst.
So everything I know is a lie? There's a whole world of VHS tapes out there for you to see.
Haven't you ever wondered what it's like outside your cave? It's true! There are times when I've pondered what other tapes might hold.
Dude, if you give us the tape, we can show you.
I could experience the outside world, where dogs drive cars and UFOs pepper the skies! UFOs totally pepper the skies.
Now will you please just give us the tape? Well, old friend, we had a good run.
It's time you go back where you came from.
And me? Well, don't you worry about old Buttonwillow McButtonwillow.
Thanks for returning the video, hombres.
Here's your card back.
Whoa! And here's one for you, dude.
What is this? It's a membership card, man.
With that, you can rent any video you want.
So, what do you want to rent, little dude? I would like "The Best VHS in the World.
"
Hey, is it VH-Fest time again already? Yeah, dude.
Check out our picks.
Hmm.
Let's see what we got here.
Ooh, great director.
Aw, that's a good one.
"Pre-Exploder" was better.
Huh? What the heck, man?! Pan and scan?! Dude, letterbox always! Membership card, por favor? "Beep, beep"? Looks like you dudes have an overdue video.
"The Best VHS in the World," out for two months.
Wha?! "The Best VHS in the World"? Pull over! "The Best VHS in the World!" Dude, this blows.
Take it out.
Why did you pick this one, anyways? Dude, because it's called "The Best VHS in the World.
" Plus, it's made of gold plastic.
Next! Look, you guys need to return the tape and pay the late fee.
But we can't afford a late fee! Yeah.
And what if we can't find it? Then you leave me no choice.
- Stop! - Why should I? All we have is a VCR, and you're the only place in town that still rents tapes! Oh, yeah.
All those other places upgraded to DVD.
Dude, we'll find it.
I think I remember where it is suddenly.
Hmm.
Please! Fine but it's only because you dudes appreciate superior video formats.
Get it back here A.
S.
A.
P.
And I won't cancel your membership.
I'll even waive the fee.
You won't regret this.
I better not or you'll never rent a tape here ever again! Didn't you throw it over there? Uh, I don't see it.
It's got to be around here somewhere.
Check the VCR.
Nothing! Benson probably put it in our room.
Aw, man! Do you have any idea where it could be? No.
I can't even find my bed.
There's just too much junk everywhere! Maybe it's under this empty pizza box.
Aw, there's my butt-cheek pants! But no VHS.
- I know what we have to do.
- Skip town? Clean the room.
That's the worst.
You're the worst.
I'd rather just pay for the stupid tape! That's not a bad idea.
Movie Shack Hut.
- It's Mordecai.
- Dude, the game has changed.
I need that tape back by 9:00.
My manager's doing inventory after we close, and he'll call the collections agency if he finds out it's missing.
What would it cost to just replace the tape? You're not gonna like it.
Dude, just tell me.
$1,000.
$1,000?! It's a rare, out-of-print VHS, a piece of film history! It's a piece, all right.
Just find it by tonight.
I hear those guys break thumbs.
What did he say? We either return the video, pay $1,000, or have our thumbs broken.
We don't have that kind of money, and I really enjoy my thumbs! Dude, dude, chill! How are we gonna find the tape in here if you're just gonna panic and make a bigger mess? Give me one better idea than panicking.
We're gonna buckle down and methodically clean this room until we find that tape.
Fine.
We'll do this the "right way" or whatever.
Whoa! I remember this.
Well, I guess that's it.
There's no other place it could be.
We only have a few hours left.
Now what? What if somebody in the house borrowed it? Dude, yeah! Let's split up and ask everybody.
Dude, where are the balls? You were supposed to bring 'em.
Well, where's your racket? I'm not talking about rackets! I'm talking about balls! But badminton doesn't have balls! What?! I'm not playing a game that doesn't have balls in it! Dudes, dudes, shut up and listen.
Did you ever borrow "The Best VHS in the World" from me and Rigby? No way, loser.
Thanks for nothing.
You're welcome for nothing! Hmm.
Now, where did I put my winter hats? Pops, did you borrow "The Best VHS in the World" from us? VH-who? Never mind.
No, I haven't seen your dumb movie.
I have my own problems, like the extension cord for the drill I can't find and this stupid ventilation system that rattles all the time! I think we might have rats.
Oh, great.
Hey, have any of you guys seen my bass amp anywhere? No.
Did you borrow "The Best VHS in the World?" No.
That movie's terrible.
All right, let's regroup.
Aw, what?! Rigby, you messed up everything! - Dude, it wasn't me! - Yeah, right.
- What does that mean? - It means I don't believe you.
I said I didn't do anything! Dude That's it! Aah! - Oof! This is all your fault! It was your idea to rent "The Best VHS in the World!" Did you say "The Best VHS in the World"? Yeah.
That's my favorite movie.
Dude, that's ours.
We have to take it back to the video store.
- Huh? - We need that tape! No, no! Stop him! There he is! Come on, Mordecai! Keep going! I'm gonna need bigger mousetraps.
Oh, man! Where the tape goes, we go.
Huh? Muscle Man's badminton racket.
Pop's winter hat.
There it is! It's not in the box.
Nothing, man.
Get out of my lair! Show yourself! Give us back the tape! I'll never give you "The Best VHS in the World"! It's my favorite! Dude, it's not even yours! Give it back! You don't deserve it! I saw you throw it away! That's only because it's horrible! We still want it back.
Blasphemy! I'll prove to you it isn't lame! Huh? Check out the desk.
That's right.
I'm a published author, and I think it's awesome! Dude, you just stapled this together yourself.
Nobody's gonna read your lame fanzine, man.
We're gaining readership! Whatever.
I bet this is the only copy.
But look at all this art I painted inspired by it.
This one is of me and "The Best VHS in the World.
" This is me pointing at it! And here's one of it in what I think Hawaii looks like.
Well, what do you think? Maybe take some life-drawing classes? I don't care what you have to say! Dude, not again! We gotta find a light switch! Art is subjective, you know! You don't come into my lair, insult my art and my favorite VHS, and live! Now die, die, die, die! Die? Dude, it's over! Give us the tape.
- Yeah.
- No! Dude, look at yourself.
You're going crazy over that tape, and it's not even any good.
No! You're wrong! It is good! This tape is everything to me.
And if I can't have it, no one can! - No! - You can't do that! If we don't return that tape, we'll lose our video-store membership! Video store? Y-Yeah, yeah! It's a magical place filled with videos, and they're all better than that one.
What?! Have you read the title?! Dude, they just put that on a lame video to get people to rent it.
Silence! I won't let you guys trick me! I know you really love that tape.
We love tapes, too.
We've seen hundreds of them, and that's one of the worst.
So everything I know is a lie? There's a whole world of VHS tapes out there for you to see.
Haven't you ever wondered what it's like outside your cave? It's true! There are times when I've pondered what other tapes might hold.
Dude, if you give us the tape, we can show you.
I could experience the outside world, where dogs drive cars and UFOs pepper the skies! UFOs totally pepper the skies.
Now will you please just give us the tape? Well, old friend, we had a good run.
It's time you go back where you came from.
And me? Well, don't you worry about old Buttonwillow McButtonwillow.
Thanks for returning the video, hombres.
Here's your card back.
Whoa! And here's one for you, dude.
What is this? It's a membership card, man.
With that, you can rent any video you want.
So, what do you want to rent, little dude? I would like "The Best VHS in the World.
"