Robot Chicken s02e04 Episode Script

Celebrity Rocket

It's alive! Can I play? Will you go to hell, you piece of garbage?! Bueno.
Bueno.
Perfecto! Grande.
Grande.
El Presidente, tenemos una situation muy serioso.
Un hombre is scoring very high en el Dance Dance Revolucion.
Dios mio.
Bueno.
Perfecto.
Silencio.
I challenge your revolution con una Dance Dance Counter-Revolution! Let's do 321 Boom: Mega Remix by D J Sassytown, featuring Lady Godiva.
Bueno.
Bueno.
Bueno.
Perfecto.
Perfecto.
Malo.
Malo.
No es bueno.
Malo.
No es bueno.
Anti-bueno.
Tu esta banda pudu.
This is for my Cuban people.
Sí! Yo soy the best dancer dancer in el mundo.
I have quelled your revolution but I must say, your bravery is inspiring.
I honor and respect your courage and conviction.
I love doing that.
Presidente, una señora es beating your high score on Dig Dug.
Get me some tokens.
I don't know.
Maybe if we used some toys? Yeah.
Gonna finish the job.
I'm about to tame that ass.
I must've lost him.
You know, since I'm out, I might as well pick up some milk.
Wait a second.
I have milk at home.
¤ Let's have some milk ¤ ¤ Milk is good ¤ ¤ Going home to have some milk ¤ ¤ Gonna drink milk have sweet dreams ¤ I'm sorry my powers screwed your life up again, master.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Master! And I want to thank my coach, who pushed me hard and my parents and Satan.
Satan! And my grandma, who couldn't be here today.
So what's it gonna be, Derek, the minivan or the sports car? Nice choice.
- Spare some change? - I'm a veteran.
I'll clean your windows for a dollar.
Hey, boogie boogie, my brain is an antelope.
Have some mustard because it's Easter in your face.
My toenails! The test results are in.
It's rectal cancer.
So should we go with chemo or holistic medicine? - Best friends forever.
- Forever.
My balls! What happened to my balls? Why would someone do this to my balls? This show is so clever.
- It just happened so fast.
- All right.
Now just take it easy.
This is the worst day of my life.
all thanks to stem cell research.
So, Miss Lohan, it's 12 million plus gross points.
- Sign on the dotted line.
- Hold on a second.
I have some requemps.
I want a big trailer and I want a trailer in my trailer and my dog needs an assistant dog.
I assure you that all of your - Miss Lohan? - Lindsay? Pumpkin? Can you make that check out to Cash? That's my nickname for her.
Can I get you anything, miss Lohan? Diet Sprite, Squirt, Coca-Cola? - Lindsay Lohan.
- Amanda Bynes.
Just let me know if you need anything.
It totally can't end like this.
My new album drops tomorrow.
Looks like you'll be selling them posthumorous.
Posthum Posthummus.
There can be only one.
Does this power make me look fat? Not a problem.
We'll blame it on her father.
Works for me.
In case you haven't realized it by now this is a Highlander parody.
When I grow up, I'm gonna get an Oscar.
If by Oscar you mean "get your head cut off " you're on your way if you don't train harder.
That totally isn't what I meant, stupid.
You smell like whiskey, and I want to go shopping.
And they complain when I smack my wife.
You must harness your gifts for the gathering.
What gathering? You're gathering.
All the teen starlets will feel the urge to fight for the prize.
In the end, there can be only one.
What prize? As in Oscar? I'm gonna win one because I'm Lindsay Lohan.
Lo-han.
Lohan.
I'm not slurring.
Never lose your temper.
- Never lose my tampa? - Temper.
I hate your slurring, you drunk.
I'm not drunk.
I'm Scottish.
Sure, and I was in the hospital for exhaustion.
Touché.
Now you're ready.
Good.
You got me in the pounder plums.
Colder than a witch's tit tonight.
- Better heat up the sauce.
- Where's Lohan? You're too late, Hillary Duff.
I've already prepared her for you.
- You've wasted your time.
- My alcohol! - There can be only one.
- Wait! OK.
You're next, Lindsay.
I lost 150 pounds, and nobody takes me seriously.
Maybe I'll adopt a brown kid.
What? He's dead, as are the Olsen twins.
I even decapitated my sister Haylie, though she didn't have powers and that was awkward to explain to mom and dad.
- Only you and I remain.
- You bitch! Watch it, Lohan.
We can't fight on holy ground.
You know where to find me, Duff.
So now it ends.
- The power is mine, Lohan.
- Not if I can help it.
- Slut! - Whore! - White trash! - "Agent Cody" skank.
Aaron Carter loves me.
Aaron said your toes were gross.
- Your album sucks! - My album sucks! There can be only one.
I know.
I know everything.
I am everything.
I have the power.
You have done well.
Use your powers wisely, my child.
I will.
Unlimited power! Is this really how Highlander ended?
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