The Bold Type (2017) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
1 [device beeps.]
[man speaking indistinctly over PA.]
[woman speaking indistinctly over police radio.]
[distant horn blowing.]
[K.
Flay's "Blood in the Cut".]
Na na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na Na na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na Na na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na Na na na na na na I need noise [all screaming.]
I need the buzz of a sub Need the crack of a whip Need some blood in the cut I need noise I need the buzz of a sub Need the crack of a whip Need some blood in the cut I need blood in the cut - I need blood in the cut - [laughter.]
What are you doing? Nothing.
I just I want to remember this moment.
Uh, Jane, you know you've been walking into this same building for, like, four years, right? Yeah, but as an assistant.
- This is totally different.
- Oh, okay.
Joan Didion walked through this very same lobby once and Meghan Daum and Rachel Syme.
Nora Ephron just emailed that one freelance thing in, but still, I want to remember what walking into "Scarlet" magazine as a writer feels like.
All right, ready? - Okay, but there's the line - Get in.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Yo, come on, lady, move your ass.
Uh, excuse me, my friend is having a moment.
- [cell phone chimes.]
- So rude.
[elevator bell dings.]
Lauren asked me to send 10 pitches to the whole writing staff.
I got so excited, I sent them 20.
Nerd.
- Morning, Kate.
- Hi, Jane.
She's gonna send the best ones up to Jacqueline, and then from there, I get my first writing assignment.
[dramatic music.]
Okay.
Grab her.
Whoa! Wait, why? We're supposed to be at the August presentation meeting.
All right, calm down, Type A.
We're gonna get you there, but first, we are toasting your ass.
For the past four years, the three of us have toiled away together in the assistant trenches.
Actually, I was only in there for two.
Kat, we're having Jane time now.
Okay, fine, but my social media director salary - paid for the champs, so - When we started together as assistants, I had no idea that you guys would also become my very best friends.
Jane, we're so happy for you - and so incredibly proud.
- Thank you.
I still can't believe that it's really happening.
I mean, you guys know when I was Both: A young girl in Colorado, reading "Scarlet" magazine in my closet.
Okay, I thought it was Jane time.
Sorry, you can totally have it.
- It's your moment.
- You did it.
- You got your dream job.
- [mouths words.]
[cell phone vibrating.]
Lauren wants coffee before the board presentation.
Oh, it's in the kitchen, where she can make it herself.
- Kat, take over.
- No.
We are going to wait until we can celebrate together.
We have a meeting to go to.
- Let's go.
- [exclaims.]
[groans.]
[upbeat music.]
[indistinct conversation.]
Jane.
You're a writer now.
Sit with us.
It's cool.
Go.
Thank you, Alex.
[Leon Else's "Black Car".]
Driving in my black car Burning up some gasoline Set my wheels on fire Unleash your desire To the night-crawling machine Good morning, everyone.
Can you feel my heart beat? Can you feel my heart beat? - [cell phone chimes.]
- - Can you feel my heart beat? - - - Well, I am so happy to see all your bright, shining, young, ethnically, sexually, and gender-diverse faces this morning so we can hammer out the issues that really matter to today's woman.
Lauren, why don't you get us started? And moving forward to our health section, we have a fantastic article about the best way to broach uncomfortable concerns with your gynecologist.
I'd like to flag a concern about the word "punani.
" The article specifically says "Don't call it your punani.
" Understood, but in the past, we've been criticized by a small but very vocal Indian group who believes that the word has been unfairly misappropriated.
I'd rather swap it out and avoid any kind of backlash.
Any problems with the word "vajayjay"? Uh, yeah.
It's not 2006.
We can skip the next two pages.
We had to pull the article over a legal issue.
Wait, is that the, uh the lesbian Muslim artist story? We think this will have a huge social-media reach.
Unfortunately, it's a moot point.
The artist initially agreed to let us run her photographs, but reneged at the last minute.
Why did she decide to pull out? Okay, I just I think this story is worth fighting for.
It's click gold for us.
It hits all of our boxes, no pun intended.
It's feel-good, sexy, just the right amount of political.
And I don't disagree.
However, unfortunately, as Lauren said, it is a moot point, so let's move on.
Let me take it from here.
Moving on to our Desire and Devotion section.
This month, I am proud to present to you "Mount Up and Ride.
"From Sidesaddle to Bareback, "We've Got Positions Guaranteed to Make You Yeehaw.
" [men murmuring.]
I think we sufficiently shocked them.
I don't know how you enjoy those meetings.
All you have to do is look at their faces.
Hold that elevator.
Burn, baby, burn, baby Burn, baby, burn, baby How much pushback am I going to get from Charles this month? You're a magazine about sex.
He gets that.
You're a magazine about empowering women.
[elevator bell dings.]
Yeehaw.
Lauren, I'm gonna go grab your lunch.
I'll be right back up.
Thanks, Sutton.
And a green juice, please.
[elevator doors close.]
My place? Tonight? Yeah.
I want to feel it on my skin I want to wake that fire Light the fire in me What about this? Female heads of unions about how the number of women in leadership roles is still disproportionately low.
And we covered something similar last May.
I didn't say that, but we covered something similar last May.
[sighs.]
I-I'm just second-guessing everything.
Go with your gut.
What does Jane Sloan care about? Um, Jane Sloan cares about not looking like an idiot in front of Jacqueline again.
Interesting.
It just clicked for me what is going wrong with your ideas.
You're pitching what you think I want to hear.
- W-well - You're a new voice.
I want to hear it.
You and me my office first thing tomorrow morning.
[dramatic music.]
Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
How about these? Too big.
- And I can still see your pain.
- Great.
Ladies, I have spent the last two hours down a lesbian Muslim rabbit hole.
What's wrong with her? Jacqueline hated all of my ideas.
- She didn't hate them.
- Oh, no, she was just fascinated by how boring they were.
Hey, if it helps, I heard Jacqueline tell Lauren that she's looking for something in the "social media stalking" arena.
Yeah, you know, I'm not gonna inspire the next generation of women - with social-media stalking.
- Fine.
We can talk about Kat's lesbian Muslim rabbit hole, - because seriously, what? - Yeah.
I'm gonna persuade that artist to be in the magazine.
Oh, no, Kat, I would let it go.
Lauren was not happy today.
That's because she's threatened by anyone young with ambition.
Well, Jacqueline wasn't happy either.
She wasn't happy with the interruption, but she was basically telling me to go after that story.
I want to be as confident as her.
How did she get to be so confident? Um, she was over-praised as a child.
[funky pop music.]
Got me running round Got me playing for your change, you do [both laughing.]
[cell phone chimes, vibrates.]
Mm, don't you - I have to! - Don't you dare.
- Don't.
- It might be work.
What, another green juice emergency? Oh, is now a good time to remind you that your big crisis yesterday was "punani"? - Ah.
- [cell phone vibrates.]
- Fine.
- [chuckles.]
I am planning the entire 60th-anniversary party.
- If I don't get this - Mm-hmm.
we might not have color-coordinated macaroons.
Oh, my God.
I just can't live in that world.
That doesn't look like work.
That looks like Snapchat, which I thought was just for sending dirty pics.
No.
- Okay, once.
- [laughs.]
[groans.]
Everything okay? Yeah, my friend has a big meeting - with Jacqueline today.
- - Lucky her.
- And I am color-coordinating macaroons.
But don't worry.
I'm not gonna start dumping my problems on you.
I know that's not what this is.
Oh? And what is this? Did I not make it obvious? Mm-mm.
Well [gasps.]
I'm using you for sex.
You monster.
[chuckles.]
[upbeat music.]
Hey, Richard.
Yeah? Say "punani" again.
Oh.
[both murmuring.]
- Punani, punani, pun - [laughing.]
- Come on, baby, won't you talk to me? - Shut up.
I don't have a lot of time, but I just wanted to chat with you about where you fit in here.
Absolutely, and I know that my last round of pitches - was way too safe.
- And I have writers who write safe, and then I have writers who take big swings, and we just need to find out which one you are.
And I think I could be one of those big-swing writers, and I'm already brainstorming some new ideas.
Great.
Fire when ready.
That means give me what you got.
- Oh, uh - Jane.
This is a huge promotion.
Now, I believe that you are ready for this next step, but now you have to show me you're ready.
Try again.
Full sentences this time.
Um, okay, uh, redefining what it means to break through the glass ceiling.
We could call it, uh, "Not Your Mother's Glass Ceiling.
" Mm, that feels familiar to me.
I need something more specific.
What's your relationship with your mother like? Um, uh I was thinking just more mothers in general.
Generalities do not sell magazines.
Uh, social-media stalking.
How often should you look at your ex online? Actually, I was still on the mother topic.
- I like these two together.
- Thank you, Jacqueline.
Right.
Sorry, um and my ex isn't even on social media, so Uh, but I was thinking mothers No, hold on.
This ex of yours.
Isn't that odd for somebody your age not to be on social media? A friend of his screwed up a job pretty bad because of a dumb Instagram post What's that like, not being able to check up on your ex? Fine.
[sighs.]
Okay, it's horrible.
[chuckles.]
There was a time when we were all in that position not being able to check up on our exes.
Ladies, I think that we could do a little bit better here, don't you? Well, then you understand how powerless I feel.
Mm, I can't say I've ever felt powerless more like curious.
But, you know, I'm very interested now, so tell me more about this.
Well, our breakup was really sudden, and I don't know what happened, so maybe I wouldn't have to wonder so much if I just knew where he was or what he was doing right now.
Sounds like it might be the time to find that out, wouldn't you say? And write about it? Yes, yes, uh, I-I could do a how how-to.
"How To Stalk Your Unstalkable Ex.
" Yes, great title.
I can't wait to see where this goes.
[upbeat music.]
We were wild, wild, wild, wild Looking hungry, wild, wild, wild Taking turns sleeping, wild [camera shutter clicking.]
The end of the forest is the start Uh, hello? Hey.
Uh, Adena, right? Mm-hmm.
[speaking native language.]
Kat Edison from "Scarlet.
" I spoke to your manager on the phone, I think.
Firuze.
Seriously? Kat, hello.
I'm Firuze, Adena's manager.
My manager who often neglects to tell me about meetings when she knows they're going to annoy me.
Adena, Kat was very persuasive on the phone.
Please be persuasive.
This is a huge opportunity to share her art with America.
Okay.
Well, then let me get right to it.
"Scarlet" has a circulation of over 3 million.
Between Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, which I'm actually in charge of, we reach 6 million more people.
And, you know, I understand why those numbers might be kind of intimidating.
What do you mean? In your essay about your collection, you talk about your complicated relationship with your religion, and Is that what you think this is about? I'm scared? No, of course not.
I didn't say that word.
My Twitter bio literally reads, "proud Muslim lesbian.
" Well, yeah, but that's only a few thousand followers.
This would mean coming out to millions.
I would come out to the whole world if it was the right place, but "Scarlet" and I are not a good match.
I'm sorry, but I cannot associate my art with a-a completely un-feminist magazine.
That's actually a common misconception.
And I have to get back to work.
I'm so sorry that you wasted your time coming down here.
[speaking native language.]
[camera shutter clicks.]
You know, there's a lot more inside of a woman than what you can see on the outside.
Yeah, I know 'cause there's a lot more inside of me, too.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh [LOLO's "Not Gonna Let You Walk Away".]
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh [cell phone vibrates.]
- Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh - Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh I've been waiting on the phone to ring I ain't so good about answering Why am I always high when you show up? Sometimes your lover can be a friend But sometimes lovers need to start again Maybe I need to start giving up If you want to keep the diamonds - That you bought me, you can have them - - It'll give your mom a reason to smile - So I just got a story approved.
[gasps.]
Are you not wearing a bra? I You got a story approved? Oh, my God.
That's amazing.
Tell me everything.
What is the story about? My meeting with Adena was a disaster.
Aw.
Is Sutton not wearing a bra? Yeah, I don't Why aren't you? Jane got a story approved.
Oh, hey! See, I told you.
- Who's better than you, babe? - No one.
No, no, this is terrible.
It's called "How To Stalk Your Unstalkable Ex.
" - So cute.
- Mm.
Oh, my God.
I'm a how-to girl.
Jane, I actually kind of like the idea of you doing something that involves Eric.
You know, maybe you can finally get some closure.
I have closure.
It's closed.
[stammering.]
Don't.
- Don't what? - Can we just focus on Mm-hmm.
you getting a bra, and how am I even supposed to stalk him? Um, how did women used to do this? There's How did women used to do this? I can't believe we're driving slowly past Eric's house.
[scoffs.]
I must be insane.
You know what? This is stupid.
Sir, can you please turn around? Sir, can you please ignore everything my friend just said? - Mm-hmm.
- You're getting closure.
Yes, and we're on a bridge.
This is gonna be really good for you.
- No, no, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
And, hey, look at all this legroom.
Oh, my God.
I was just thinking that.
Higher, higher [The Naked and Famous' "Higher".]
Tonight we raise the dead Tonight we bury this Now what? I guess we just watch and wait.
I'm so incredibly sorry, sir.
This is probably the weirdest thing you've ever had to do.
- You can call me Carl.
- Hi, Carl.
How about I get out and see if his name is still on the call box? [car door opens.]
Total babe.
[car door closes.]
God, it's so weird being back here.
I mean, how many hours did I spend hanging out on those steps with him? - Mm, honey - It's okay.
It's okay.
There's no need to be melodramatic.
I'm I'm fine.
Jane, he's the first guy that you said "I love you" to.
It's okay to not be fine.
But I'm seriously fine.
Under the shape of years [exhales deeply.]
Okay.
[clears throat.]
Oh, wait, is that him? - [gasps.]
- Oh, my God, it's him.
Oh! Higher Carl, Carl, Carl.
[whispering.]
That's him.
Get back.
Tonight we bury this in fire, fire Under the shape of years And the weight that brought us here And now? - [sighs.]
- We get the hell out of Brooklyn.
Higher, higher Jane? Do you need something? Yes, if you have a minute.
I do if it's important.
I just wanted to talk to you about my assignment.
I feel like I gave you the wrong impression of who I am as a writer and where I belong here.
I think that I could handle bigger subject matter, and I want to prove it, so I have some ideas that I was hoping to throw at you.
No.
Jane, I liked your pitch.
It's the story I want you to write.
[sighs.]
Lauren Park's office.
Uh, I'll have to check her schedule and get back to you.
Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Um, so Eric's best friend is going to a rooftop party in SoHo tonight.
I know this because he's on Facebook, like all sane and rational people.
And you think that Eric might be there with him? I think the odds are good enough that I have to check it out, so will you please come with me? - [phone ringing.]
- Please, please, please? Hold on.
Lauren Park's office.
I don't have her at the moment.
We'll have to return.
Thank you.
I wish I could, but I have to work really late - for the 60th-anniversary gala.
- Come on.
Can't you have somebody, like, fill in for you? You're such a better wingwoman than Kat.
- I need you.
- Aw, thanks.
Tell that to my boss, though.
[phone ringing.]
Lauren Park's office.
I very much appreciated the Snapchat lessons.
It seems only fair I return the favor, so I'm gonna teach you how we used to do things.
Describe your panties.
[rock music.]
Hold, please.
This is really important, so - um, I should probably - Okay, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.
I will go alone, and I will call you later and tell you all about it.
- Love you.
Bye.
- Love you, too.
Bye.
[chuckles.]
I can't talk right now.
Yes, you can.
Find a way.
Let me see if I can find the information that you're looking for.
Ah, yes, here it is.
I believe that for the article on panties, we were discussing a black lace thong.
Excuse me.
That's all the information I have at the moment.
Thank you for calling.
Good-bye.
Sorry.
Hi, can I help you with something? - I'm looking for this girl.
- So tell me, Kat, have I misunderstood you? I'm a feminist, okay? I'm political, and so is this magazine.
It's about clothes and makeup and how to get boys.
I dare you to tell that to Jacqueline.
You know, when she took over the magazine, she shifted the focus.
She calls it stealth feminism.
It's no longer how to please your man or woman in bed.
It's how to please yourself.
You should come back tomorrow.
I can get you a meeting.
She'll convince you.
I have a shoot scheduled in the Middle East tomorrow.
I fly out on the red-eye tonight.
Okay, well, then I'll convince you.
You are very relentless.
You have no idea.
[muffled laughter.]
What is going on in there? - A focus group.
- It's an impressive collection.
Yeah, uh we we get a lot of freebies sent to the office.
I'm sorry.
Is this kind of weird? It's not weird.
They are illegal in my country, but, um, they are illegal because my government is repressive Which is why I do not respect that law.
[mellow pop music.]
Thank you so much for doing this for me.
Sutton had to work late, and Kat I don't know, something about helping her new friend pack for a trip or something.
Mm, no problem.
So we're hoping to just run into your ex? Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, thank you.
Let's do a lap.
Make 'em whistle like a missile Bomb, bomb [BLACKPINK's "Whistle".]
Make 'em whistle like a missile Bomb, bomb [cell phone vibrates.]
Every time I show up Blow up, uh - [singing in Korean.]
- - - - - - - Make 'em whistle like a missile Bomb, bomb Every time I show up Blow up, uh Make 'em whistle like a missile Bomb, blow up, bomb What happened? With Eric? It was my birthday, and we were gonna go away for the weekend.
So we're standing in Grand Central Station, and he looks at me, and he says, "I don't want to do this anymore.
" And I was like, "We don't have to go to the Hamptons.
" And Yeah, he didn't he didn't mean the weekend.
He meant all of it.
Sorry.
It's fine.
Really? No.
No, it's not fine.
[scoffs.]
Um I was never taught how to handle this kind of stuff.
I mean, between three brothers and no mom, I didn't exactly get the instruction manual on how to deal with it when the guy you love leaves you alone in a train station on your birthday, so You never told me about your mom.
She died when I was really little, so I-I don't even remember her.
Sorry to hear that.
It would have been nice to have some female energy around.
[soft music.]
It's gonna sound really dumb, but, uh, it's kind of why I fell in love with "Scarlet," 'cause when I needed it, it was like getting advice from an older sister that I always wished I had.
[chuckles.]
It doesn't sound dumb at all.
Yeah.
I got drunk and fell asleep atop the sheets But luckily Thank you, sir.
You will not regret this.
I might.
You will not.
I think the main line calls out from an unlisted number.
Can't remember how it goes [Courtney Barnett's "History Eraser".]
[line trilling.]
This is Sutton.
Hi, it's me.
- Jane? - Mm-hmm.
Why are you calling me from an unknown number? It worked.
You sound drunk.
Yes.
Correct.
I, um I got myself drunk enough to express my emotions, and it turns out I have a lot of emotions to express.
Not at you.
You, I love.
Um, but at Eric, and I'm gonna call him after you give me a pep talk.
Um, are you sure you want to do that right now? Yes.
Gosh, worst pep talk ever.
Everything okay? Um, Sutton Brady, where are you? Are you with a dude? No, I'm still at the office.
Ah, that's Lauren's phone ringing right now.
I got to go get it.
I'm sorry.
I'll call you later.
Bye.
With the cream of sweet vermouth In my brain, I rearrange The letters on the page Liar.
I hope your friends back home appreciate the contraband.
- They will.
- [laughs.]
Can I ask you a personal question? Uh, I don't know what the signals are like in your culture, but in mine, when we spend an evening helping someone take apart vibrators to smuggle into a foreign country, it's a pretty good indicator that it's okay to get personal.
What's your sexual orientation? Out and proud hetero.
Sorry.
It wasn't a come-on.
Oh, it would be okay if it was.
I could do worse, and, you know, honestly, I actually really get the whole girl thing.
I do.
But, you know, for me, I could just never get past this.
Well, for me, it's never just been about "this.
" It's, uh it's more about this.
Damn it.
Never really been much of a boobs girl either.
You use humor to hide your real emotions.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Hey, I'm gonna ask you a personal question.
Okay.
Why do you still wear a hijab? Isn't it kind of contradictory? I choose to wear the hijab.
It does not oppress me but liberates me from society's expectations of what a woman should look like.
People tend to get uncomfortable when they cannot put you in a box.
But I've always liked to make people uncomfortable.
Well, you're very good at it.
Every night you're saying prayers [both chuckle.]
[cell phone vibrating, ringing.]
[clears throat.]
Oh, sorry, I should I should take this.
Jane? At first, I was calling because Sutton lied to me, and I'm worried about her, but now I'm calling because I'm drunk and I might puke and I need you to come and hold my hair back.
I'm on my way.
I'm sorry, I, uh, kind of have to go.
Well, it's been very nice packing contraband with you, Kat Edison.
Yeah, you too, Adena El-Amin.
Don't go Kat? Don't go You can run the article.
Okay.
Don't go on me now Thanks.
I have no idea why she lied to me, but she seriously saved my ass last night.
I was about three seconds from drunk-dialing Eric.
Kind of wish you had.
I like the idea of angry Jane.
Are you sure this is the right place? Yeah.
This is the building.
Swanky.
[dramatic music.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- You guys followed me? - We have each other's - "Find My Friends" for a reason.
- Yeah, in case one of us gets blackout drunk and/or roofied.
How could you not tell us that you're having sex - with Richard Hunter? - 'Cause she's being an idiot.
I've been dying to tell you guys everything, but he's a board member.
This is a huge risk for him.
If this ever got out, it would be No, if this gets out, Richard will be absolutely fine.
Uh, he'll probably get a pat on the back from the rest of the board.
You're the one who's gonna get trashed, Sutton.
We all know what everyone at "Scarlet" calls this, sleeping with an older man with money, you're Screwing up? You think I'm screwing up? - I don't think that, Sutton.
- First of all I can screw whoever I want.
And second of all, that's not even what this is, Kat.
I like him.
What? A guy like that would never go for a girl like me? That's not what we're saying.
Do you realize how insane it is that you used an app to stalk me? - [cell phone ringing.]
- Okay, well, I called you Just give me one second.
I needed you, and you lied to me.
[both speaking at once.]
Firuze? Okay, slow down.
- Okay, well, I'm sorry - I would never do that to you.
Guys, shut up.
Shut up.
Adena's been detained at the airport back home.
They found one of the vibrators in her luggage.
Hello? Yeah, I'm here.
They're supposed to take the contraband and let her go, but they've been holding her for hours, and they won't let Firuze or anyone else talk to her.
Well, does she have a lawyer over there? No.
that's why Firuze called me.
She was hoping, you know, that maybe I could help, but, uh, I just have no idea who to call.
Um, Evan.
Get Janice O'Hare on the phone.
I have a friend at the State Department.
Hey, I got the rundown on what Adena's up against.
Okay.
Okay, there's some legal document that she has to sign, but the gist is this She has to admit that she's deeply ashamed of her crime.
Well, Adena would never sign that, so Kat, she's got to sign it, or else they're not gonna let her go.
There's strict punishment for women who choose to defy them.
Oh, really? Okay.
Well, then I guess I'll just have to show them a woman defying them.
Listen up, everyone.
Stop what you're doing.
We are going to tweet that a woman is being held against her will simply for wanting to own her own sexuality.
#FreeAdena, unless someone has something better.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.
Nobody is tweeting anything.
Kat, my office.
I am the social-media director, okay? I'm tweeting this.
Have you even considered what this could do to Adena? Putting attention on it? Shaming them? God, Kat, just think it through before you open your mouth.
[keys tapping.]
What are you doing? [tapping continues.]
[cell phone whistles.]
Get me into "Scarlet's" Twitter.
We need to delete whatever she just posted.
- [dramatic music.]
- It's funny.
Kat, where are you going? I don't know, okay? I don't know.
I just I need to go to the consulate.
Or or call the I don't know.
I just I need to do something.
There's nothing you can do.
- Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay.
- Yeah.
They could send her to jail forever, or worse, and it is completely my fault.
Hey, it is not your fault.
Yes, it is.
I gave her the vibrators.
It was my idea to smuggle them in, all because I [exhales shakily.]
I just I I need to fix this.
No, what you need to do right now is just scream.
When I was a kid in Colorado, I used to just hike up to the mountains and scream.
Just let it out.
Well, that is a beautiful story, Jane, but unfortunately, this is not Colorado.
This is New York City, and there is literally nowhere in this entire city where people aren't always on top of you! Excuse me, sir, thank you.
Shut up! No, no, no, this is perfect.
We just found the one place in New York where you can scream.
Oh, my God, Jane.
Please stop.
Hey, we're just trying to help you.
What are you gonna do to help, Sutton? Are you gonna call your boyfriend and see if maybe he can fix the problem for me? Can't stop me now - I got to go.
- You know what? If she wants to go through this alone, let her.
Ah-ooh, oh-oh oh-oh-oh [groans.]
- Hello, Jane.
- Jacqueline.
I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were in here.
- I'll get out of your way.
- I just wasn't feeling these shoes sent over for the gala, but it seems like you need this closet - a lot more than I do.
- No, no, no.
Uh, don't wear shoes you don't like because of me.
Just forget I was here.
Jane.
- What is going on with you? - Um, nothing.
I felt very confident giving you this promotion, but your energy this week has been off.
- Maybe you're not quite ready.
- No.
I am.
I'm ready.
And I'm so grateful for this opportunity.
Good.
I'm glad to hear that.
So when am I gonna get some material from you? Soon.
It's all there.
Well, I found Eric.
I, um I'm just having trouble finishing it.
How can we fix that, then? Well, I guess I-I need to talk to him.
Well, that sounds like a pretty good guess to me.
Why haven't you done that? Because it hurts too much.
[door opens.]
Jacqueline, I've got Beyoncé for you.
Beyoncé Knowles.
No shit, Andrew.
Tell her I'll call right back.
So it's your choice whether you want to go after that ending or not, but I've never met anybody who made a career happen by hiding out in the fashion closet.
[soft music.]
[door closes.]
She'll be jaywalking right across While the cops talk Make you feel like a boss When your eyes lock And you can't stop staring endlessly Everybody knows she's a perfect ten And I'm hanging on tight till the whole things ends Don't even say it.
I know, but I don't want you to get hurt.
Me neither.
- She sets, she sets the city on fire - She sets the city on fire Burns like a million lighters - I'm going up, I couldn't get much higher - - She sets, she sets the city on fire - - Everybody knows she's a perfect ten - And I'm hanging on tight till the whole things ends Hey.
You texted.
What are we doing here? Well, I could answer that, or I could show you.
Okay, I'm sorry I had to ignore you before, but this this is - This is work.
- Yeah.
And we knew this would be tricky.
[soft music.]
But this is not what I want.
I want to go out on dates.
I want to be asked out on dates, and if that's not what you want, I understand.
But I need you to know I want to be the girl you can't stop thinking about.
I deserve to be that girl.
Excuse me.
Thank you very much for joining me to celebrate 60 years of "Scarlet.
" [cheers and applause.]
Our little magazine has gone through quite a few changes over the past six decades, and for those of you who say that we are still a fashion and beauty magazine, I say yes.
Yes, we are.
But for those of you who say we are just a fashion and beauty magazine, I say, "Here's the next great mascara "to give you bigger eyes to see the world.
"Here's a fabulous pair of jeans.
Now go climb a mountain.
" A few years ago, I read an application of a young intern, and her words have always stayed with me.
When asked why she wanted to work at "Scarlet," she said, "Because when I needed it, "'Scarlet' was like getting the advice of an older sister that I'd always wished I'd had.
" No matter how many years pass, no matter how the world changes, "Scarlet" will always be that older sister.
And we will always be there for the girls who need her.
Those of you who work at the magazine, please raise your glasses.
You are the women and men who work at "Scarlet," and 60 years ago, this magazine set out to redefine the rules.
And now that responsibility falls to each one of you.
And I want to make sure you understand what I expect of you.
I expect you to have adventures.
I expect you to fall in love, to get your hearts broken.
I expect you to have sex with the wrong people to have sex with the right people, to make mistakes and make amends, take a leap and make a splash.
And I expect you to unleash holy hell on anybody who tries to hold you back, because you don't just work for "Scarlet.
" - You are "Scarlet.
" - [cheers and applause.]
I got guns in my head, and they won't go Cheers.
Spirits in my head, and they won't go I got guns in my head, and they won't go Spirits in my head, and they won't [The Strumbellas' "Spirits".]
[train rumbling.]
[all screaming.]
I've been looking at the stars tonight And I think, "Oh, how I miss that bright sun" I'll be a dreamer till the day I die [cell phone ringing.]
But they say, "Oh, how the good die young" But we're all strange And maybe we don't want to change Get up.
Get up, get up, get up, get up.
What? It's an international number.
Hello? Hey, Adena.
It's so good to hear your voice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay, so Eric.
Jane.
Hi.
What are you doing here? I'm stalking you.
I'm confused.
It's a pretty crappy feeling, isn't it? [phone ringing.]
Lauren Park's office.
Sutton.
It's Richard Hunter.
I'm calling because I can't stop thinking about you, and I would really like to take you out to dinner.
I'll have to check my schedule.
It's a great article.
Thank you.
And thank you for everything that you did to help.
Well, I didn't do much.
I mean, my friend was able to put some pressure on, let 'em know that we're watching, but Adena's the one who refused to sign that paper.
- She's a brave girl.
- Yeah.
And I know that not sending that tweet was not easy.
But it was the right thing to do this time.
But not always.
Adena's a brave girl.
But so are you.
Thanks.
I got guns in my head, and they won't go Spirits in my head, and they won't go I got guns in my head, and they won't go Spirits in my head [exhales sharply.]
[cell phone vibrates.]
The gun still rattles, oh [chuckles.]
So I read your article.
Let's see, "How To Get Over It" "When the Guy You Love Leaves You Standing in a Train Station.
" It's not what we discussed.
I know.
I, uh I took a swing.
You certainly did.
It's excellent.
Does it get easier? Uh, the writing? Yes.
But the broken heart just takes some time.
And I don't want [chuckles.]
A never ending life I just want to be alive [cork pops.]
While I'm here [laughter.]
Spirits in my head, and they won't go I got guns in my head, and they won't go Spirits in my head, and they won't go But the gun still rattles The gun still rattles, oh
[man speaking indistinctly over PA.]
[woman speaking indistinctly over police radio.]
[distant horn blowing.]
[K.
Flay's "Blood in the Cut".]
Na na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na Na na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na Na na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na Na na na na na na I need noise [all screaming.]
I need the buzz of a sub Need the crack of a whip Need some blood in the cut I need noise I need the buzz of a sub Need the crack of a whip Need some blood in the cut I need blood in the cut - I need blood in the cut - [laughter.]
What are you doing? Nothing.
I just I want to remember this moment.
Uh, Jane, you know you've been walking into this same building for, like, four years, right? Yeah, but as an assistant.
- This is totally different.
- Oh, okay.
Joan Didion walked through this very same lobby once and Meghan Daum and Rachel Syme.
Nora Ephron just emailed that one freelance thing in, but still, I want to remember what walking into "Scarlet" magazine as a writer feels like.
All right, ready? - Okay, but there's the line - Get in.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Yo, come on, lady, move your ass.
Uh, excuse me, my friend is having a moment.
- [cell phone chimes.]
- So rude.
[elevator bell dings.]
Lauren asked me to send 10 pitches to the whole writing staff.
I got so excited, I sent them 20.
Nerd.
- Morning, Kate.
- Hi, Jane.
She's gonna send the best ones up to Jacqueline, and then from there, I get my first writing assignment.
[dramatic music.]
Okay.
Grab her.
Whoa! Wait, why? We're supposed to be at the August presentation meeting.
All right, calm down, Type A.
We're gonna get you there, but first, we are toasting your ass.
For the past four years, the three of us have toiled away together in the assistant trenches.
Actually, I was only in there for two.
Kat, we're having Jane time now.
Okay, fine, but my social media director salary - paid for the champs, so - When we started together as assistants, I had no idea that you guys would also become my very best friends.
Jane, we're so happy for you - and so incredibly proud.
- Thank you.
I still can't believe that it's really happening.
I mean, you guys know when I was Both: A young girl in Colorado, reading "Scarlet" magazine in my closet.
Okay, I thought it was Jane time.
Sorry, you can totally have it.
- It's your moment.
- You did it.
- You got your dream job.
- [mouths words.]
[cell phone vibrating.]
Lauren wants coffee before the board presentation.
Oh, it's in the kitchen, where she can make it herself.
- Kat, take over.
- No.
We are going to wait until we can celebrate together.
We have a meeting to go to.
- Let's go.
- [exclaims.]
[groans.]
[upbeat music.]
[indistinct conversation.]
Jane.
You're a writer now.
Sit with us.
It's cool.
Go.
Thank you, Alex.
[Leon Else's "Black Car".]
Driving in my black car Burning up some gasoline Set my wheels on fire Unleash your desire To the night-crawling machine Good morning, everyone.
Can you feel my heart beat? Can you feel my heart beat? - [cell phone chimes.]
- - Can you feel my heart beat? - - - Well, I am so happy to see all your bright, shining, young, ethnically, sexually, and gender-diverse faces this morning so we can hammer out the issues that really matter to today's woman.
Lauren, why don't you get us started? And moving forward to our health section, we have a fantastic article about the best way to broach uncomfortable concerns with your gynecologist.
I'd like to flag a concern about the word "punani.
" The article specifically says "Don't call it your punani.
" Understood, but in the past, we've been criticized by a small but very vocal Indian group who believes that the word has been unfairly misappropriated.
I'd rather swap it out and avoid any kind of backlash.
Any problems with the word "vajayjay"? Uh, yeah.
It's not 2006.
We can skip the next two pages.
We had to pull the article over a legal issue.
Wait, is that the, uh the lesbian Muslim artist story? We think this will have a huge social-media reach.
Unfortunately, it's a moot point.
The artist initially agreed to let us run her photographs, but reneged at the last minute.
Why did she decide to pull out? Okay, I just I think this story is worth fighting for.
It's click gold for us.
It hits all of our boxes, no pun intended.
It's feel-good, sexy, just the right amount of political.
And I don't disagree.
However, unfortunately, as Lauren said, it is a moot point, so let's move on.
Let me take it from here.
Moving on to our Desire and Devotion section.
This month, I am proud to present to you "Mount Up and Ride.
"From Sidesaddle to Bareback, "We've Got Positions Guaranteed to Make You Yeehaw.
" [men murmuring.]
I think we sufficiently shocked them.
I don't know how you enjoy those meetings.
All you have to do is look at their faces.
Hold that elevator.
Burn, baby, burn, baby Burn, baby, burn, baby How much pushback am I going to get from Charles this month? You're a magazine about sex.
He gets that.
You're a magazine about empowering women.
[elevator bell dings.]
Yeehaw.
Lauren, I'm gonna go grab your lunch.
I'll be right back up.
Thanks, Sutton.
And a green juice, please.
[elevator doors close.]
My place? Tonight? Yeah.
I want to feel it on my skin I want to wake that fire Light the fire in me What about this? Female heads of unions about how the number of women in leadership roles is still disproportionately low.
And we covered something similar last May.
I didn't say that, but we covered something similar last May.
[sighs.]
I-I'm just second-guessing everything.
Go with your gut.
What does Jane Sloan care about? Um, Jane Sloan cares about not looking like an idiot in front of Jacqueline again.
Interesting.
It just clicked for me what is going wrong with your ideas.
You're pitching what you think I want to hear.
- W-well - You're a new voice.
I want to hear it.
You and me my office first thing tomorrow morning.
[dramatic music.]
Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick.
How about these? Too big.
- And I can still see your pain.
- Great.
Ladies, I have spent the last two hours down a lesbian Muslim rabbit hole.
What's wrong with her? Jacqueline hated all of my ideas.
- She didn't hate them.
- Oh, no, she was just fascinated by how boring they were.
Hey, if it helps, I heard Jacqueline tell Lauren that she's looking for something in the "social media stalking" arena.
Yeah, you know, I'm not gonna inspire the next generation of women - with social-media stalking.
- Fine.
We can talk about Kat's lesbian Muslim rabbit hole, - because seriously, what? - Yeah.
I'm gonna persuade that artist to be in the magazine.
Oh, no, Kat, I would let it go.
Lauren was not happy today.
That's because she's threatened by anyone young with ambition.
Well, Jacqueline wasn't happy either.
She wasn't happy with the interruption, but she was basically telling me to go after that story.
I want to be as confident as her.
How did she get to be so confident? Um, she was over-praised as a child.
[funky pop music.]
Got me running round Got me playing for your change, you do [both laughing.]
[cell phone chimes, vibrates.]
Mm, don't you - I have to! - Don't you dare.
- Don't.
- It might be work.
What, another green juice emergency? Oh, is now a good time to remind you that your big crisis yesterday was "punani"? - Ah.
- [cell phone vibrates.]
- Fine.
- [chuckles.]
I am planning the entire 60th-anniversary party.
- If I don't get this - Mm-hmm.
we might not have color-coordinated macaroons.
Oh, my God.
I just can't live in that world.
That doesn't look like work.
That looks like Snapchat, which I thought was just for sending dirty pics.
No.
- Okay, once.
- [laughs.]
[groans.]
Everything okay? Yeah, my friend has a big meeting - with Jacqueline today.
- - Lucky her.
- And I am color-coordinating macaroons.
But don't worry.
I'm not gonna start dumping my problems on you.
I know that's not what this is.
Oh? And what is this? Did I not make it obvious? Mm-mm.
Well [gasps.]
I'm using you for sex.
You monster.
[chuckles.]
[upbeat music.]
Hey, Richard.
Yeah? Say "punani" again.
Oh.
[both murmuring.]
- Punani, punani, pun - [laughing.]
- Come on, baby, won't you talk to me? - Shut up.
I don't have a lot of time, but I just wanted to chat with you about where you fit in here.
Absolutely, and I know that my last round of pitches - was way too safe.
- And I have writers who write safe, and then I have writers who take big swings, and we just need to find out which one you are.
And I think I could be one of those big-swing writers, and I'm already brainstorming some new ideas.
Great.
Fire when ready.
That means give me what you got.
- Oh, uh - Jane.
This is a huge promotion.
Now, I believe that you are ready for this next step, but now you have to show me you're ready.
Try again.
Full sentences this time.
Um, okay, uh, redefining what it means to break through the glass ceiling.
We could call it, uh, "Not Your Mother's Glass Ceiling.
" Mm, that feels familiar to me.
I need something more specific.
What's your relationship with your mother like? Um, uh I was thinking just more mothers in general.
Generalities do not sell magazines.
Uh, social-media stalking.
How often should you look at your ex online? Actually, I was still on the mother topic.
- I like these two together.
- Thank you, Jacqueline.
Right.
Sorry, um and my ex isn't even on social media, so Uh, but I was thinking mothers No, hold on.
This ex of yours.
Isn't that odd for somebody your age not to be on social media? A friend of his screwed up a job pretty bad because of a dumb Instagram post What's that like, not being able to check up on your ex? Fine.
[sighs.]
Okay, it's horrible.
[chuckles.]
There was a time when we were all in that position not being able to check up on our exes.
Ladies, I think that we could do a little bit better here, don't you? Well, then you understand how powerless I feel.
Mm, I can't say I've ever felt powerless more like curious.
But, you know, I'm very interested now, so tell me more about this.
Well, our breakup was really sudden, and I don't know what happened, so maybe I wouldn't have to wonder so much if I just knew where he was or what he was doing right now.
Sounds like it might be the time to find that out, wouldn't you say? And write about it? Yes, yes, uh, I-I could do a how how-to.
"How To Stalk Your Unstalkable Ex.
" Yes, great title.
I can't wait to see where this goes.
[upbeat music.]
We were wild, wild, wild, wild Looking hungry, wild, wild, wild Taking turns sleeping, wild [camera shutter clicking.]
The end of the forest is the start Uh, hello? Hey.
Uh, Adena, right? Mm-hmm.
[speaking native language.]
Kat Edison from "Scarlet.
" I spoke to your manager on the phone, I think.
Firuze.
Seriously? Kat, hello.
I'm Firuze, Adena's manager.
My manager who often neglects to tell me about meetings when she knows they're going to annoy me.
Adena, Kat was very persuasive on the phone.
Please be persuasive.
This is a huge opportunity to share her art with America.
Okay.
Well, then let me get right to it.
"Scarlet" has a circulation of over 3 million.
Between Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, which I'm actually in charge of, we reach 6 million more people.
And, you know, I understand why those numbers might be kind of intimidating.
What do you mean? In your essay about your collection, you talk about your complicated relationship with your religion, and Is that what you think this is about? I'm scared? No, of course not.
I didn't say that word.
My Twitter bio literally reads, "proud Muslim lesbian.
" Well, yeah, but that's only a few thousand followers.
This would mean coming out to millions.
I would come out to the whole world if it was the right place, but "Scarlet" and I are not a good match.
I'm sorry, but I cannot associate my art with a-a completely un-feminist magazine.
That's actually a common misconception.
And I have to get back to work.
I'm so sorry that you wasted your time coming down here.
[speaking native language.]
[camera shutter clicks.]
You know, there's a lot more inside of a woman than what you can see on the outside.
Yeah, I know 'cause there's a lot more inside of me, too.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh [LOLO's "Not Gonna Let You Walk Away".]
Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh [cell phone vibrates.]
- Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh - Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh I've been waiting on the phone to ring I ain't so good about answering Why am I always high when you show up? Sometimes your lover can be a friend But sometimes lovers need to start again Maybe I need to start giving up If you want to keep the diamonds - That you bought me, you can have them - - It'll give your mom a reason to smile - So I just got a story approved.
[gasps.]
Are you not wearing a bra? I You got a story approved? Oh, my God.
That's amazing.
Tell me everything.
What is the story about? My meeting with Adena was a disaster.
Aw.
Is Sutton not wearing a bra? Yeah, I don't Why aren't you? Jane got a story approved.
Oh, hey! See, I told you.
- Who's better than you, babe? - No one.
No, no, this is terrible.
It's called "How To Stalk Your Unstalkable Ex.
" - So cute.
- Mm.
Oh, my God.
I'm a how-to girl.
Jane, I actually kind of like the idea of you doing something that involves Eric.
You know, maybe you can finally get some closure.
I have closure.
It's closed.
[stammering.]
Don't.
- Don't what? - Can we just focus on Mm-hmm.
you getting a bra, and how am I even supposed to stalk him? Um, how did women used to do this? There's How did women used to do this? I can't believe we're driving slowly past Eric's house.
[scoffs.]
I must be insane.
You know what? This is stupid.
Sir, can you please turn around? Sir, can you please ignore everything my friend just said? - Mm-hmm.
- You're getting closure.
Yes, and we're on a bridge.
This is gonna be really good for you.
- No, no, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
And, hey, look at all this legroom.
Oh, my God.
I was just thinking that.
Higher, higher [The Naked and Famous' "Higher".]
Tonight we raise the dead Tonight we bury this Now what? I guess we just watch and wait.
I'm so incredibly sorry, sir.
This is probably the weirdest thing you've ever had to do.
- You can call me Carl.
- Hi, Carl.
How about I get out and see if his name is still on the call box? [car door opens.]
Total babe.
[car door closes.]
God, it's so weird being back here.
I mean, how many hours did I spend hanging out on those steps with him? - Mm, honey - It's okay.
It's okay.
There's no need to be melodramatic.
I'm I'm fine.
Jane, he's the first guy that you said "I love you" to.
It's okay to not be fine.
But I'm seriously fine.
Under the shape of years [exhales deeply.]
Okay.
[clears throat.]
Oh, wait, is that him? - [gasps.]
- Oh, my God, it's him.
Oh! Higher Carl, Carl, Carl.
[whispering.]
That's him.
Get back.
Tonight we bury this in fire, fire Under the shape of years And the weight that brought us here And now? - [sighs.]
- We get the hell out of Brooklyn.
Higher, higher Jane? Do you need something? Yes, if you have a minute.
I do if it's important.
I just wanted to talk to you about my assignment.
I feel like I gave you the wrong impression of who I am as a writer and where I belong here.
I think that I could handle bigger subject matter, and I want to prove it, so I have some ideas that I was hoping to throw at you.
No.
Jane, I liked your pitch.
It's the story I want you to write.
[sighs.]
Lauren Park's office.
Uh, I'll have to check her schedule and get back to you.
Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Um, so Eric's best friend is going to a rooftop party in SoHo tonight.
I know this because he's on Facebook, like all sane and rational people.
And you think that Eric might be there with him? I think the odds are good enough that I have to check it out, so will you please come with me? - [phone ringing.]
- Please, please, please? Hold on.
Lauren Park's office.
I don't have her at the moment.
We'll have to return.
Thank you.
I wish I could, but I have to work really late - for the 60th-anniversary gala.
- Come on.
Can't you have somebody, like, fill in for you? You're such a better wingwoman than Kat.
- I need you.
- Aw, thanks.
Tell that to my boss, though.
[phone ringing.]
Lauren Park's office.
I very much appreciated the Snapchat lessons.
It seems only fair I return the favor, so I'm gonna teach you how we used to do things.
Describe your panties.
[rock music.]
Hold, please.
This is really important, so - um, I should probably - Okay, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.
I will go alone, and I will call you later and tell you all about it.
- Love you.
Bye.
- Love you, too.
Bye.
[chuckles.]
I can't talk right now.
Yes, you can.
Find a way.
Let me see if I can find the information that you're looking for.
Ah, yes, here it is.
I believe that for the article on panties, we were discussing a black lace thong.
Excuse me.
That's all the information I have at the moment.
Thank you for calling.
Good-bye.
Sorry.
Hi, can I help you with something? - I'm looking for this girl.
- So tell me, Kat, have I misunderstood you? I'm a feminist, okay? I'm political, and so is this magazine.
It's about clothes and makeup and how to get boys.
I dare you to tell that to Jacqueline.
You know, when she took over the magazine, she shifted the focus.
She calls it stealth feminism.
It's no longer how to please your man or woman in bed.
It's how to please yourself.
You should come back tomorrow.
I can get you a meeting.
She'll convince you.
I have a shoot scheduled in the Middle East tomorrow.
I fly out on the red-eye tonight.
Okay, well, then I'll convince you.
You are very relentless.
You have no idea.
[muffled laughter.]
What is going on in there? - A focus group.
- It's an impressive collection.
Yeah, uh we we get a lot of freebies sent to the office.
I'm sorry.
Is this kind of weird? It's not weird.
They are illegal in my country, but, um, they are illegal because my government is repressive Which is why I do not respect that law.
[mellow pop music.]
Thank you so much for doing this for me.
Sutton had to work late, and Kat I don't know, something about helping her new friend pack for a trip or something.
Mm, no problem.
So we're hoping to just run into your ex? Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, thank you.
Let's do a lap.
Make 'em whistle like a missile Bomb, bomb [BLACKPINK's "Whistle".]
Make 'em whistle like a missile Bomb, bomb [cell phone vibrates.]
Every time I show up Blow up, uh - [singing in Korean.]
- - - - - - - Make 'em whistle like a missile Bomb, bomb Every time I show up Blow up, uh Make 'em whistle like a missile Bomb, blow up, bomb What happened? With Eric? It was my birthday, and we were gonna go away for the weekend.
So we're standing in Grand Central Station, and he looks at me, and he says, "I don't want to do this anymore.
" And I was like, "We don't have to go to the Hamptons.
" And Yeah, he didn't he didn't mean the weekend.
He meant all of it.
Sorry.
It's fine.
Really? No.
No, it's not fine.
[scoffs.]
Um I was never taught how to handle this kind of stuff.
I mean, between three brothers and no mom, I didn't exactly get the instruction manual on how to deal with it when the guy you love leaves you alone in a train station on your birthday, so You never told me about your mom.
She died when I was really little, so I-I don't even remember her.
Sorry to hear that.
It would have been nice to have some female energy around.
[soft music.]
It's gonna sound really dumb, but, uh, it's kind of why I fell in love with "Scarlet," 'cause when I needed it, it was like getting advice from an older sister that I always wished I had.
[chuckles.]
It doesn't sound dumb at all.
Yeah.
I got drunk and fell asleep atop the sheets But luckily Thank you, sir.
You will not regret this.
I might.
You will not.
I think the main line calls out from an unlisted number.
Can't remember how it goes [Courtney Barnett's "History Eraser".]
[line trilling.]
This is Sutton.
Hi, it's me.
- Jane? - Mm-hmm.
Why are you calling me from an unknown number? It worked.
You sound drunk.
Yes.
Correct.
I, um I got myself drunk enough to express my emotions, and it turns out I have a lot of emotions to express.
Not at you.
You, I love.
Um, but at Eric, and I'm gonna call him after you give me a pep talk.
Um, are you sure you want to do that right now? Yes.
Gosh, worst pep talk ever.
Everything okay? Um, Sutton Brady, where are you? Are you with a dude? No, I'm still at the office.
Ah, that's Lauren's phone ringing right now.
I got to go get it.
I'm sorry.
I'll call you later.
Bye.
With the cream of sweet vermouth In my brain, I rearrange The letters on the page Liar.
I hope your friends back home appreciate the contraband.
- They will.
- [laughs.]
Can I ask you a personal question? Uh, I don't know what the signals are like in your culture, but in mine, when we spend an evening helping someone take apart vibrators to smuggle into a foreign country, it's a pretty good indicator that it's okay to get personal.
What's your sexual orientation? Out and proud hetero.
Sorry.
It wasn't a come-on.
Oh, it would be okay if it was.
I could do worse, and, you know, honestly, I actually really get the whole girl thing.
I do.
But, you know, for me, I could just never get past this.
Well, for me, it's never just been about "this.
" It's, uh it's more about this.
Damn it.
Never really been much of a boobs girl either.
You use humor to hide your real emotions.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Hey, I'm gonna ask you a personal question.
Okay.
Why do you still wear a hijab? Isn't it kind of contradictory? I choose to wear the hijab.
It does not oppress me but liberates me from society's expectations of what a woman should look like.
People tend to get uncomfortable when they cannot put you in a box.
But I've always liked to make people uncomfortable.
Well, you're very good at it.
Every night you're saying prayers [both chuckle.]
[cell phone vibrating, ringing.]
[clears throat.]
Oh, sorry, I should I should take this.
Jane? At first, I was calling because Sutton lied to me, and I'm worried about her, but now I'm calling because I'm drunk and I might puke and I need you to come and hold my hair back.
I'm on my way.
I'm sorry, I, uh, kind of have to go.
Well, it's been very nice packing contraband with you, Kat Edison.
Yeah, you too, Adena El-Amin.
Don't go Kat? Don't go You can run the article.
Okay.
Don't go on me now Thanks.
I have no idea why she lied to me, but she seriously saved my ass last night.
I was about three seconds from drunk-dialing Eric.
Kind of wish you had.
I like the idea of angry Jane.
Are you sure this is the right place? Yeah.
This is the building.
Swanky.
[dramatic music.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- You guys followed me? - We have each other's - "Find My Friends" for a reason.
- Yeah, in case one of us gets blackout drunk and/or roofied.
How could you not tell us that you're having sex - with Richard Hunter? - 'Cause she's being an idiot.
I've been dying to tell you guys everything, but he's a board member.
This is a huge risk for him.
If this ever got out, it would be No, if this gets out, Richard will be absolutely fine.
Uh, he'll probably get a pat on the back from the rest of the board.
You're the one who's gonna get trashed, Sutton.
We all know what everyone at "Scarlet" calls this, sleeping with an older man with money, you're Screwing up? You think I'm screwing up? - I don't think that, Sutton.
- First of all I can screw whoever I want.
And second of all, that's not even what this is, Kat.
I like him.
What? A guy like that would never go for a girl like me? That's not what we're saying.
Do you realize how insane it is that you used an app to stalk me? - [cell phone ringing.]
- Okay, well, I called you Just give me one second.
I needed you, and you lied to me.
[both speaking at once.]
Firuze? Okay, slow down.
- Okay, well, I'm sorry - I would never do that to you.
Guys, shut up.
Shut up.
Adena's been detained at the airport back home.
They found one of the vibrators in her luggage.
Hello? Yeah, I'm here.
They're supposed to take the contraband and let her go, but they've been holding her for hours, and they won't let Firuze or anyone else talk to her.
Well, does she have a lawyer over there? No.
that's why Firuze called me.
She was hoping, you know, that maybe I could help, but, uh, I just have no idea who to call.
Um, Evan.
Get Janice O'Hare on the phone.
I have a friend at the State Department.
Hey, I got the rundown on what Adena's up against.
Okay.
Okay, there's some legal document that she has to sign, but the gist is this She has to admit that she's deeply ashamed of her crime.
Well, Adena would never sign that, so Kat, she's got to sign it, or else they're not gonna let her go.
There's strict punishment for women who choose to defy them.
Oh, really? Okay.
Well, then I guess I'll just have to show them a woman defying them.
Listen up, everyone.
Stop what you're doing.
We are going to tweet that a woman is being held against her will simply for wanting to own her own sexuality.
#FreeAdena, unless someone has something better.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.
Nobody is tweeting anything.
Kat, my office.
I am the social-media director, okay? I'm tweeting this.
Have you even considered what this could do to Adena? Putting attention on it? Shaming them? God, Kat, just think it through before you open your mouth.
[keys tapping.]
What are you doing? [tapping continues.]
[cell phone whistles.]
Get me into "Scarlet's" Twitter.
We need to delete whatever she just posted.
- [dramatic music.]
- It's funny.
Kat, where are you going? I don't know, okay? I don't know.
I just I need to go to the consulate.
Or or call the I don't know.
I just I need to do something.
There's nothing you can do.
- Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay.
- Yeah.
They could send her to jail forever, or worse, and it is completely my fault.
Hey, it is not your fault.
Yes, it is.
I gave her the vibrators.
It was my idea to smuggle them in, all because I [exhales shakily.]
I just I I need to fix this.
No, what you need to do right now is just scream.
When I was a kid in Colorado, I used to just hike up to the mountains and scream.
Just let it out.
Well, that is a beautiful story, Jane, but unfortunately, this is not Colorado.
This is New York City, and there is literally nowhere in this entire city where people aren't always on top of you! Excuse me, sir, thank you.
Shut up! No, no, no, this is perfect.
We just found the one place in New York where you can scream.
Oh, my God, Jane.
Please stop.
Hey, we're just trying to help you.
What are you gonna do to help, Sutton? Are you gonna call your boyfriend and see if maybe he can fix the problem for me? Can't stop me now - I got to go.
- You know what? If she wants to go through this alone, let her.
Ah-ooh, oh-oh oh-oh-oh [groans.]
- Hello, Jane.
- Jacqueline.
I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were in here.
- I'll get out of your way.
- I just wasn't feeling these shoes sent over for the gala, but it seems like you need this closet - a lot more than I do.
- No, no, no.
Uh, don't wear shoes you don't like because of me.
Just forget I was here.
Jane.
- What is going on with you? - Um, nothing.
I felt very confident giving you this promotion, but your energy this week has been off.
- Maybe you're not quite ready.
- No.
I am.
I'm ready.
And I'm so grateful for this opportunity.
Good.
I'm glad to hear that.
So when am I gonna get some material from you? Soon.
It's all there.
Well, I found Eric.
I, um I'm just having trouble finishing it.
How can we fix that, then? Well, I guess I-I need to talk to him.
Well, that sounds like a pretty good guess to me.
Why haven't you done that? Because it hurts too much.
[door opens.]
Jacqueline, I've got Beyoncé for you.
Beyoncé Knowles.
No shit, Andrew.
Tell her I'll call right back.
So it's your choice whether you want to go after that ending or not, but I've never met anybody who made a career happen by hiding out in the fashion closet.
[soft music.]
[door closes.]
She'll be jaywalking right across While the cops talk Make you feel like a boss When your eyes lock And you can't stop staring endlessly Everybody knows she's a perfect ten And I'm hanging on tight till the whole things ends Don't even say it.
I know, but I don't want you to get hurt.
Me neither.
- She sets, she sets the city on fire - She sets the city on fire Burns like a million lighters - I'm going up, I couldn't get much higher - - She sets, she sets the city on fire - - Everybody knows she's a perfect ten - And I'm hanging on tight till the whole things ends Hey.
You texted.
What are we doing here? Well, I could answer that, or I could show you.
Okay, I'm sorry I had to ignore you before, but this this is - This is work.
- Yeah.
And we knew this would be tricky.
[soft music.]
But this is not what I want.
I want to go out on dates.
I want to be asked out on dates, and if that's not what you want, I understand.
But I need you to know I want to be the girl you can't stop thinking about.
I deserve to be that girl.
Excuse me.
Thank you very much for joining me to celebrate 60 years of "Scarlet.
" [cheers and applause.]
Our little magazine has gone through quite a few changes over the past six decades, and for those of you who say that we are still a fashion and beauty magazine, I say yes.
Yes, we are.
But for those of you who say we are just a fashion and beauty magazine, I say, "Here's the next great mascara "to give you bigger eyes to see the world.
"Here's a fabulous pair of jeans.
Now go climb a mountain.
" A few years ago, I read an application of a young intern, and her words have always stayed with me.
When asked why she wanted to work at "Scarlet," she said, "Because when I needed it, "'Scarlet' was like getting the advice of an older sister that I'd always wished I'd had.
" No matter how many years pass, no matter how the world changes, "Scarlet" will always be that older sister.
And we will always be there for the girls who need her.
Those of you who work at the magazine, please raise your glasses.
You are the women and men who work at "Scarlet," and 60 years ago, this magazine set out to redefine the rules.
And now that responsibility falls to each one of you.
And I want to make sure you understand what I expect of you.
I expect you to have adventures.
I expect you to fall in love, to get your hearts broken.
I expect you to have sex with the wrong people to have sex with the right people, to make mistakes and make amends, take a leap and make a splash.
And I expect you to unleash holy hell on anybody who tries to hold you back, because you don't just work for "Scarlet.
" - You are "Scarlet.
" - [cheers and applause.]
I got guns in my head, and they won't go Cheers.
Spirits in my head, and they won't go I got guns in my head, and they won't go Spirits in my head, and they won't [The Strumbellas' "Spirits".]
[train rumbling.]
[all screaming.]
I've been looking at the stars tonight And I think, "Oh, how I miss that bright sun" I'll be a dreamer till the day I die [cell phone ringing.]
But they say, "Oh, how the good die young" But we're all strange And maybe we don't want to change Get up.
Get up, get up, get up, get up.
What? It's an international number.
Hello? Hey, Adena.
It's so good to hear your voice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay, so Eric.
Jane.
Hi.
What are you doing here? I'm stalking you.
I'm confused.
It's a pretty crappy feeling, isn't it? [phone ringing.]
Lauren Park's office.
Sutton.
It's Richard Hunter.
I'm calling because I can't stop thinking about you, and I would really like to take you out to dinner.
I'll have to check my schedule.
It's a great article.
Thank you.
And thank you for everything that you did to help.
Well, I didn't do much.
I mean, my friend was able to put some pressure on, let 'em know that we're watching, but Adena's the one who refused to sign that paper.
- She's a brave girl.
- Yeah.
And I know that not sending that tweet was not easy.
But it was the right thing to do this time.
But not always.
Adena's a brave girl.
But so are you.
Thanks.
I got guns in my head, and they won't go Spirits in my head, and they won't go I got guns in my head, and they won't go Spirits in my head [exhales sharply.]
[cell phone vibrates.]
The gun still rattles, oh [chuckles.]
So I read your article.
Let's see, "How To Get Over It" "When the Guy You Love Leaves You Standing in a Train Station.
" It's not what we discussed.
I know.
I, uh I took a swing.
You certainly did.
It's excellent.
Does it get easier? Uh, the writing? Yes.
But the broken heart just takes some time.
And I don't want [chuckles.]
A never ending life I just want to be alive [cork pops.]
While I'm here [laughter.]
Spirits in my head, and they won't go I got guns in my head, and they won't go Spirits in my head, and they won't go But the gun still rattles The gun still rattles, oh