The Twilight Zone (2002) Episode Scripts

N/A - Azoth the Avenger is a Friend of Mine

The peasants of Vormidian saw a glint on the horizon like a star shining just for them.
That glint gave them hope for as they drew near, they recognized the source a gleaming broadsword.
A ray of steel justice married to the mighty hands of Azoth the Avenger.
Lorraine, I need another beer! You drank the last one.
Go buy some more! Craig Hansen's only refuge from his abusive father is a fantasy realm home to that heroic protector of the weak Azoth the Avenger.
But Craig is about to discover what happens when fantasy becomes reality in the Zone.
Hey, buddy, what's going on? How'd those summer league tryouts go? They moved 'em to next week.
Good.
Gives us time to work on your shot.
Those other kids, they don't want me on the court.
Screw 'em.
It's a public court.
Damn.
Did those punks do this? And let me guess, you just took it.
There was three of them.
What am I supposed to do? What are you supposed to do? Grow the hell up! And get rid of these stupid toys! The thought of my son getting pushed around You want to be a loser your whole life? Huh?! Annos patebo.
Annos patebo.
Annos patebo/ You're traveling to another dimension a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are only that of the imagination.
You're entering No way.
Boy, what sorcery brought me here? I don't know, but I'll explain later.
You gotta hide.
Fast.
Did your father do anything to you? Forget about me, Mom.
What'd he do to you? Oh.
He was in one of his moods, and I just Honey, your father's not a bad man.
He's had a lot of disappointments in his life so when we disappoint him, too, it's very hard for him.
As long as he doesn't hurt you.
Don't stay up too late.
Look, I don't know how you got here.
I just said those words on your model and you just came.
It's called a comic book.
Azoth's Adventures.
Not a bad likeness.
You're a legend here.
Every kid wants to be you.
The dragon had three heads, not two.
Careful.
What do you call this realm? It's America.
And this is Philadelphia, my city.
Why have you summoned me here? I don't know.
I was just so mad.
And I thought if I could just talk to you I never thought you'd actually come.
You have been attacked.
This must be avenged.
I sense we may be kindred spirits.
Such a strange realm.
So many castles, so tall.
Pretty cool, huh? It's just gum.
They're called helicopters.
We have all kinds of cool stuff.
Like airplanes, cars, trains, spaceships.
Where is this evil I must battle? Don't worry.
As soon as they see me out here, they'll come out.
Hey, do you remember when you sliced up that assault orb? You were in Orlak's fortress, rescuing Princess Paladina when all of a sudden it came flying at you.
You missed it.
Where's your faith? - Is that Hansen? - Hey, Hansen! I thought we told you to keep your sorry ass off our court.
It's a public court.
I can play whenever I want.
You want to play? Let's play.
Let's play, Hansen.
We'll dunk your head, boy.
You dribble like a baby.
This is the evil I must battle? I'd like you to meet a friend of mine Azoth the Avenger.
Nice outfit, dork.
I'll cut you, man.
I'll cut you.
By all means, try.
The way I see it, you have two choices.
Either you leave me alone forever or I have Azoth behead you.
It worked.
We did it.
We? The door's locked.
I'll break it down.
No.
I have a secret way in.
It's not King Newbold's palace but you'll be safe down here.
I hope you like this.
In the comics you eat mutton, whatever that is.
And another thing in your comics, you always win the battle and you end up with some babe.
But you never kiss her or nothing.
Your comics leave out the best part.
Thanks for helping me with those guys back there.
Those enemies are not worthy of me.
Or you.
Want to read some of your stories? I have every issue.
Check out the models.
This is where you came from.
You used to stand right here.
I'll tell you a story.
One that I'm sure you've never heard.
In the valley where I grew there lived a pack of demons who would emerge on every black moon to feed.
When I was no older than you out tending our fields, these demons they caught my whole family.
What'd you do? I fled.
I hid in the hills.
You're kidding.
Seriously? To this day no matter how many battles that I win I'm still haunted by the one battle I never fought.
Azoth? Azoth? Just woke up.
I had a dream you went back to your realm.
You took me with you.
I could use a squire.
How hard is it to keep this damn fridge stocked? You better stay here.
I work my ass off all week and I can't even get a lousy omelette for breakfast? Darrell, I swear there was - Don't lie to me, Lorraine! there last night.
It's not her fault.
I took it.
And? I gave it to a friend.
I think you're lying, Craig.
I think you're lying to protect your mother.
You should know better than to play games with me before I've had my damn coffee.
I'm gonna give you five minutes, Lorraine to get your lazy butt down to the store or else.
Or else what? Who the hell are you? Azoth the Avenger.
He's my friend.
Listen up, pal, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once.
- Dad, don't.
- You shut up! And you, you hairy freak you get the hell out of my place or I'm gonna send you out on a stretcher.
You are the evil I must battle.
Well, don't say I didn't warn you.
Now get the hell out of my house! You want to tell me who the hell that was I just threw out of my house? Craig! I asked you a question, Craig.
Some freak in leather hanging out with a 12-year-old kid.
That demands an explanation.
Look, I know you think I'm the bad guy here but I was just protecting my family.
Azoth was protecting us from you.
Look at this crap.
The kid's living in a friggin' fantasy world.
Craig, where did you meet that man? In the Galactica Bookstore.
He plays Azoth at comic conventions.
Honey, your father's right.
You shouldn't be hanging around with a grown man you hardly know.
But, Mom, he's Forget it, Craig! No more Azoth.
No more fantasy crap.
- Mom - End of discussion! See? You see what happens when you baby him? I don't! I'll be damned if I'm gonna let my son play Dungeons & Dragons with some circus freak.
Now get me my damn breakfast.
It's OK, Mrs.
Hutchins.
He's a friend of mine.
I'll I'll come back later.
Azoth, are you all right? I don't get it.
You've never lost a battle.
And hopefully never again.
Don't worry, I know where your sword is.
We could steal it back and then you can try again.
No.
A sword lost in battle can't be reclaimed.
I just saw Mrs.
Hutchins.
You nearly gave her a heart attack.
Craig, you better keep an eye out for your dad.
He doesn't go to work for another hour.
I'm really sorry about my husband.
Don't apologize.
He's unworthy of you.
I look at you and all I can think is Darrell's the one I should be bandaging.
You didn't even fight back.
Lorraine! I saw the look in your eyes.
You wanted to kill him, but you held back.
I know you did.
Why? If I had slain your husband it would've done Craig more harm than good.
Lorraine! Lorraine! Lorraine? Mom.
Mom, you better get back.
Every boy should have a friend like you.
I'll try and come back.
Your mother is a wise woman.
I guess that's why I brought you here to protect her.
After what happened today you must realize that only you can do that.
Me? You have a power far greater than you know.
Yeah, right.
No.
Your spirit has given me new hope.
It's time you return me to my realm.
- Where were you, Lorraine? - Nowhere.
- Don't give me that crap.
- I have things to do.
Not again.
Craig, this battle is yours.
This is the evil you must face.
Because I know you're lying.
What'd you have to help Craig with? If you run from this, it'll haunt you.
Don't make the same mistake I did.
I'm no warrior.
I can't fight him.
Your strength is here and it's here.
You know what you must do.
Don't lie to me, Lorraine! Annos patebo.
Annos patebo/ Annos patebo/ I asked you a question, Lorraine! Tell me.
Tell me! You didn't have to hurt him so bad.
Were you helping that freak? Is that what you were doing? Huh? Tell me what you did with that freak or you're really gonna need this.
I gave him some bandages.
That's all.
I kicked the guy out and you go and play nursemaid on him? You know how that makes me look? Do you? You are the evil I must battle.
Put it down, Craig, or you're gonna be sorry.
Craig, honey, put the sword down.
It's OK, Mom.
You are the evil I must battle.
All right, I'm gonna count to three.
One I'm not scared of you anymore, Dad.
- Two - You're the loser, not us.
Three.
Buddy, you picked a bad day to grow a backbone.
Don't you ever touch my son! Enough of this crap! I want to know why you helped that freak.
Because he's Craig's friend and he's a better man than you'll ever be.
You better tell me you're lying.
Damn it, Lorraine! I'm not playing around! Annos patebo.
Annos patebo.
See? You see what you've done? Annos patebo.
Our kid's a nutjob and it's all your stinkin' fault! Annos patebo/ Craig, honey, what did you do? I faced the evil.
Craig I love you.
Sometimes we pray for a hero to deliver us from evil.
Armed with nothing more than his newfound courage and a powerful imagination Craig Hansen discovered that hero was none other than himself.
Chalk one up for the good guys in the Twilight Zone.