Trailer Park Boys s01e01 Episode Script

- Oh, my fuck! Look who it is, man.
- Is that him? - Right there, right over there.
Put your gun away, there's people everywhere.
Put your fucking gun away.
Put your gun down.
Release the dog! Leave him there! Walk away from the dog.
- Release the dog, asshole - Leave us alone! - Release the dog then! - Release him! Put the fucking gun down.
- Put it down, put it down - Put the fucking gun down right now! - My name is Julian.
Today is a special day because I'm finally getting out of prison.
I've been looking forward to this day for the past eighteen months - My name is Ricky and I've been in here for about 18 months now.
I'm getting out today, thank fuck.
- Well, you guys are going to get to know Ricky, I think, , cause you know you guys want to follow him around as well which is cool.
- I'm tellin' ya, tonight, I am getting drunk at Julian's and it's going to be awesome .
You guys wanna come tape it, that's fine, but we're going to get really drunk.
It's gonna be wicked.
Hopefully, there'll be a bit of dope around.
- I've been like kind of lik e a teacher to him, I guess, and I'm sick of teaching him , I'm going to get out of prison I'm going to move back to the trailer park.
I'm going to live a good, clean life, I've matured now Things are going to be totally different.
I do blame Ricky, of course I do.
Everybody knows he's the reason why I went to jail.
You know, Ricky doesn't think.
So, you know, I'm not goin g to hang out with him anymore I'm just going to look out for number one, which is me.
No more Ricky.
, - Julian can frig off, if that's what he's tellin' ya because it's not my fault, it' s Julian's fault we went to jail He's the one who force feeding me drugs and every other goddam thing.
It's not my fault.
So, you know, if that's what he says, that's fine.
e It doesn't matter anyway cause the councilor's told m it's society's fault not my fault.
If Julian's going to be like that then fine, I'll blame it on him cause it's his fault we went to jail three times.
I don't need Julian anymore.
- Right on, man! I thought you'd left.
- No, no, no.
Ricky, get your own cab.
- What are you talking about - You're getting your own cab.
You're not sharing my cab.
- I'm going back to the trailer park.
- D'ya got any money? - No, that's why I need a ride .
- Well, get your own cab.
- This is how you want to treat me on camera? - Here.
Here's your bag.
- Don't throw my shit around - Could you guys turn that off If you've ever been in jai I before, there's nothin' better than gettin' out of jail and comin' home.
Geez, she's gotten bigger.
- Ricky and Julian? Well, for the most part, they're responsible for ruinin g this trailer park.
Used to be peaceful and quiet here.
, You know, what gets me most is all the young kids look up to him! I mean, I got kids flying around here, throwin' bottles at people , growing dope, squealing tires, jumping motorcycles over trailers The list goes on.
, And I've been park superviso r here for goin' on 16 years I've seen it all, but those two, particularly Ricky, they're the worst.
- Gimme your smokes, Gordon.
Give me your smokes! Give me 15 bucks, man.
Come on, I know you've got some smokes here somewhere - Okay, Ricky! Let him up! Ricky! Off! Get off him! - Let go of his foot.
- Gimme your smokes, man! - Let go, Ricky! Get out of here! - You frig off, Randy! You frig off! - Back off, back off! Stay clear! What was it like in jail, hey, Buddy? - Where's Julian, Ricky? - Where are you stay in', Rick? - At the Fuck Off Hotel, Lahey - Have some respect here.
Mr.
Lahey is the park supervisor.
- What are you, his new assistant? - Yes, I am! - Well, that's pretty fucked up.
- This is Ricky's girl.
- I missed you.
- I missed you too.
- Is Ricky out of jail too ? - Yeah.
- Are you going to come and visit my mommy? - Um, I don't know.
Maybe.
- You're out of jail and ya got no place to live? - I've got plenty of place s to live.
I could stay at any one of these trailers cause people here like me.
Not like you dicks.
- Things have changed, Rick.
- Things have changed, have they? - Ya.
You're going to have to keep your nose clean, Ricky - Smokes, let's go, give me some smokes.
- I've only got two left and I'm not giving you any - You're a fucking dick.
And Lahey, you can go fuck yourself, okay? Stay out of my business.
- What a jerk, man.
- Ricky's back.
- Okay, so this is where I live.
I leave this place for 18 months and let Cory and Trevor stay here and look what they do.
- When Julian gets back, it's gonna be so cool.
The whole crew's gonna hang ou t again, rock the trailer park like we used to.
So, we're going to clean the place up.
It's a little messy now and everything, but we've got lots of time to clean it up.
We'll have it looking as good as it was when he left - What the hell happened to my trailer, boys?! , - Okay, chill.
There's this guy named Cyrus he just moved in here.
There's nothin' we could d o about it.
He has a gun and he's nuts - Yeah, I moved into his trailer.
Nice little spot.
The way I see it, this fucking Julian guy, he lost his privileges when he went off to Con College, you see? I'm the guy that owns the trailer now.
I'm runnin' the trailer park And if that big tough fuckin' guy comes runnin' around here, throwing his little bit of weight around, well then, fuck off! - We'll help you find a new place to live, Julian.
- This is my place, you idiot! I'm disappointed in you guys Gone for 18 months, and you knew I'd be home today - Shit happens! It's not our fault.
- Shut up! You guys let me down.
- But Cyrus, like, he killed a kid when he was in reform school.
He got even harder when he was there.
He stole cars and he has a nine millimeter.
g Lahey's afraid to do anythin cause he's worried about getting knocked out by him too It's like he's the new park king or something, man.
- Shit changes, man.
He's not even from the park.
He thinks it's cool to liv e in a trailer park.
- So what are you gonna do - I don't know.
But I know what you guys are gonna do.
Your going to start cleaning up this mess.
Now! - I don't think we got any cleaners.
- Clean it up! - What are you guys taping in here? You have to have permission.
mine's doing a documentary, don't worry about it.
- All right.
- Look, I need some stuff.
I could rob ya or you could just give it to me.
- You're Ricky, right? - Ya, man.
- You can get whatever you want, I don't care.
, - Gimme four packs of smokes and I'll take these flower s here I guess - - Smokes! Grab my smokes there - I was here first, bud.
- What's that camera doing here? - None of your fucking business, actually.
- Obviously, you don't kno w who the fuck I am.
The name is Cyrus.
Cyrus! And I don't give a fuck who you are.
- You better chill out there , heavy metal dick.
- Why don't you go back to the bowling alley you came from, helmet head - You're fucking lucky I'm on probation.
- Is that right? See ya! That's it, bye-bye.
- That'll be Wait, Cyrus! You didn't pay.
- Fuck off, man.
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm J-Roc know what I'm sayin'? J to the ROC up in this.
This here's my boy T, Tyrone This here, Mr.
Green, and that's Hydro, in the back.
- Hey, what's up? - Wha's up, man? - How are ya doin', Tyrone Good to see ya, man - Good to see you.
- Welcome back, boy.
- What's goin' on, man? - Not much.
- Hey, what's going on, man? - We're doin' all right.
It's all good.
- So, how are things goin' What's wrong? - Me and T got some bad news, G.
- Yeah.
Cyrus, man.
, - He all up in this park controllin' all the liquor sellin' all the dope, you know wha I'm sayin? Got a gun runnin' around, actin' hard with everybody - You're not the king of the park anymore.
- Boys, listen up, all right I'm out of jail now.
This is my trailer, this is my home.
I'm not worried about Cyrus, all right? Don't worry about it.
Come on! So, what's goin on? - We doin' all right.
We be dope when the new NW A come out, know what I'm sayin' - I haven't seen Lucy and Trinity since Trinity's 7th birthday No, it was her 8th birthday.
No, no, it was her 7th birthday.
Anyway, I was in jail for her 7th or 8th birthday.
And you know, they never really got a chance to come visit me in jail.
A year and a half is quite a long time to go without seeing your daughter or the woman you love, for that matter, I guess.
- Come on, boys! This is Bubbles! How are ya doin', buddy? It's good to see ya, man.
- That's my best friend Julian - Yeah, what's up? - What are you doing? Home from jail? - Yeah, got out today.
- Who's this guy? What am I on the TV for? - I'm just doing a little documentary thing, you know.
- How are you doing? - Good.
- So, what's going on anyway - Well, I don't know if you were in there yet, but dickhead moved into your trailer.
I tried to stop him, but I couldn't.
- Yeah, Cyrus.
- He keeps sticking a fucking gun at my face.
- See this? All right? Old man gave me that when I was in grade seven.
Seen a lot of action.
Nine millimeter, Safety: always off.
Told me he was proud of me once.
Fucking prick! - Cory and Trevor let him move right in.
You can move in here with me if you want.
- No, that's all right.
I'm going to take care of Cyrus.
- I think you should.
- What do you think I should do? - I talked to him a couple of times and he's fucking scared of you He's waitin', wonderin' when you're coming home.
- Yeah? - Yup! All I got to do is tell hi m you're here and I bet ya he fucking bolts.
- I don't know if it's going t o be that easy, but, you know I just got to watch it.
I'm on probation and I'm not going back to jail.
- You won't have to worry about that.
Everybody in the fucking par k hates him.
Lahey, everybody Nobody fucking likes him.
He fucked everyone over.
- All right.
Well maybe, you know, if you could get word around the park and tell everybody I'm throwing him out tonight - Yeah, I can do that.
Don't worry about that.
I'll go around door to fucking door if I have to.
- Enough of that stuff.
It's just good to see ya.
- I hear you're Ricky, Julian's little jail buddy - Are you filming more episode s of Happy Days, there, Fonzy? - Listen, just give me your fucking smokes.
- Buddy, I just got out of jail, I don't want any trouble.
Put the gun away.
You're on camera with a fucking gun.
- I don't give a fuck about the camera crew, okay? Just give me your fucking smokes or I'll put a bullet right through your goddam ribcage! - For fuck's sakes.
I've got four packs of smokes, all right? You can have two of them.
- No fucking thanks.
- If you're going to shoot m e over two packs of smokes, then go ahead and shoot me - It's your lucky fucking day, isn't it, jail boy? Tell your friend Julian to get the fuck out of the trailer park or he'll have Cyrus and you know what to deal with Fuck off somewhere.
I've got work to do.
- I don't even hang around with Julian anymore.
- What the fuck do you think you're doing? What's this? - I come to talk to Lucy.
Don't worry about it.
It's something Julian's doing.
- What, that Julian's doing? - Sarah, it doesn't matter .
Where's Lucy? - Lucy's not here.
- I know she's here.
- She went to the park or something, she's not here.
- She snuck out the back door? - She didn't sneak.
She walked out the front doo r with her daughter to go to the park.
- I'm not an idiot.
- Sarah, who's at the door ? - Nobody's at the door! - Lucy, it's Ricky.
Can I talk to you for a minute, please? - I don't want you to come in, not with all these people.
- Come on in, guys.
- I don't want you to come in.
- Don't shove me, Sarah.
- You can't come back here after 18 months and expect to walk back in the house like nothing happened! - Are you her fucking bodyguard? - I'm not her bodyguard.
I'm her roommate.
I'm livin' here, helping pay the bills since your ass was in jail - I'm back and I'll be paying the bills.
- That's what you think! - Holy shit, you look good I just thought it'd be nic e to spend some time together.
I've been in jail for 18 months.
- Well, yeah, okay.
- I'm not goin' to sleep here, so don't worry about it.
- You're kidding! You are kidding, right? - What do you mean? - Ah, listen uh Keep that closed.
Uh u Trinity and I cannot have yo coming in and out of our lives like this.
So just go stay with Ray.
- This is my dad's place.
It sounds like he's drunk again.
So the best thing to do when he's drunk is to stay away I'd rather sleep at the playground tonight.
As much as I want to get drunk , I'm not going in there.
There could be women.
God know s what could be going on inside.
Got to find somewhere else to go, boys.
- 10-8.
You got a 10-8 there - Randy here.
All systems clear.
- 10-4, Randy.
You know, I ordinarily don't like to do this, but I got to call the cops There's a potential shootout going to be happening t in the trailer park tonigh and I'm gonna call in the heavies.
- You know, that's really unfair, Mr.
Lahey.
Julian's on probation, he could go back to jail for a really long time.
- Julian's on probation, Cyrus isn't.
Cyrus will kill me.
You got any better ideas? If not, put your shirt on and shut up.
, - You know, there's a lot of different personalities here in this trailer park, r and every single person tries to respect each othe except for Cyrus.
He has no respect for anyone but himself.
And I don't really want to call the police in here o and convince Mr.
Lahey not t because I feel that in this community, we should be able to work things out ourselves - Cyrus ain't from the park, you know what I mean? Round here, it's all for all and one for one.
- That's right.
- When a person ain't from the park, they don't understand the way shit goes down.
Like the J to the ROC, like Tyrone does, my man here.
You know what I'm sayin'? When your from the park, it's all for one motherfucke r and one motherfucker for all my fuckers everywhere, you know wha' I'm sayin'? , But if you come from outside the park, you better watch out cause you got a whole bunc h of park hustlers on your jock.
- Got to stick together too, it's like a family.
- Your jock don't stick together, but the people stick together.
That's the shit I'm talkin' about.
- Everyday, Mr.
Lahey and I clean up this playground Shit! It's Cyrus.
- Don't you move! What's this I hear about you callin' the cops, huh? What's this I hear about you callin' the cops? - Whoa! Now listen, there's people around here Just take it easy, will ya, Cyrus? - I'll fucking make the decisions around here.
You got that, old man? - Just back off, Cyrus.
- Take your hands off me, Sasquatch.
Now listen You listen to me, old man.
You call the cops and I'll make and example of you You understand me? - What's that supposed to mean, Cyrus? - Bang! I got to spell it for you? Now, say you're sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Kiss my hand.
- I'm not kissing your hand.
- Kiss my hand.
- Do it.
- All right, fuck off.
I've got work to do.
Remember what I said.
- Oh, my God.
- Me and Julian could definitely take care of the Cyrus thing , It's just that, number one we're on probation.
Which is no big deal but, you know, I don't really want to go back to jail.
And number two or three or whatever number we're on, I'm not going back to jail for Julian cause I don't even hang around him anymore.
- We've got to make a few things clear.
- Sure.
- The two of us can't live in this trailer park together, now can we? - Right.
So I guess someone's got to move.
- That's what I'm talkin' about.
Hey, that's my shit Hey! That's my shit! That's my shit! Obviously, you didn't hear me when I said, "Clear out your own shit.
" Now, I want a new TV, I want a VCR and I want my porn tapes replaced because those were the cr?me de la cr?me.
- I want you out of this park.
- I'm not leaving.
I provide a service for these good people.
They're like my family.
Tell him, people, go on! By show of hands, those who need his dope.
- I'd like to take this opportunity to let anybody know that m e and Tyrone's open for business We can service all yo' dop e needs, good prices too.
you know what I'm sayin'? - See? We don't need ya here - Well, I'm not leavin' and I'm not afraid to use this gun.
- I think you're afraid.
- Fuck afraid! My brain tells my finger to pull the trigger and BOOM! Happens just like that.
- Let me talk to your brain then.
Hey, Cyrus' brain, pull the trigger.
- What a funny guy.
- Pull the trigger! Do it! Do it! You're not going to do it, man Cyrus, you fucking dick! - Shut up! - Why don't you do yoursel f a favor and get off from the Park? You don't belong here, this is my family.
Why don't ya get out of here - I don't need this shit anyway.
- Thanks for getting rid of Cyrus for us, Julian.
Now if you could just help straighten Ricky out, we'd be all set.
All right, everybody! Party's over! Let's go home.
- Welcome back, Julian.
Fuck off, Mr.
Lahey! - Come on, Randy, let's go write this up.
- All in all, I think we had a pretty good day today, guys.
It's time to have a few drinks sit down, turn that thing off - Man, I'm sorry to interrup t your TV show.
I've got nowhere to go, Julian Me and Lucy are all done and my dad's drunk.
I was just wonderin' if I could, maybe, sleep in your car or something .
Man, I've got nowhere to go.
Thanks, Julian.
I can't believe he's still out there.
For the past 18 months, I promised myself to stay away from him.
I don't know, he's a good guy.
- Take it easy, Julian.
I'm leavin'.
- Relax, Ricky.
- I got nowhere to go.
- Relax.
Here, I got you some hot-dogs, I got you some vodka.
- I appreciate this, Julian, but I don't need your charity.
- Ricky, it's okay, all right? Here, you can sleep in the car for two days.
- Thanks, buddy, I appreciate that.
- I want you out of that car in two days though Ricky, all right? - No, more than two weeks, I promise, all right?