Ultimate Spider-Man (2011) Episode Scripts

N/A - Strange Little Halloween

CHILDREN: Trick or treat! And you're a what, now? I be spider-pirate! Er (IMITATING PIRATE VOICE) Spirate-Man for short.
Arrr! Off the flipping plank with you mutinous dog! (CRICKETS CHIRPING) Yeah, I'll just, er, see myself down the walk.
Thanks.
Hey, can I roll with you guys? My friends have ditched me.
Or, never existed.
(SCOFFS) No way, dude! You're like 50.
Nobody gives old people candy.
You get candy from the old people.
Aw.
(BEEP) Ah, before you ask the answer is no.
I will not go trick or treating with you.
I'm like a serious grown-up, and stuff.
Nova, come on! How can you not be into it? A, unlimited sugar, and B, it's fun being scared.
Scared? A Nova never runs scared.
Yeah? Even from a giant rabbit? A giant, (STAMMERS) rabbit? Well, that's just dumb.
No one, least of all me, is scared of rabbits.
NOVA: But on an unrelated note, er (BEEP) Just for that, I'm bringing you a chocolate bunny.
- (APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS) - Whoa! Hey, J.
J.
J.
Aren't you, like, a million years too old to be out here in knock-off Spider-Man pajamas? Harsh disapproval.
You sound just like the real J.
J.
Ah, leave us alone, you menace.
I just miss when I could have fun on Halloween.
Letting your imagination run wild.
Scaring the webs off of people.
Free candy.
(EXPLOSION) Dressing up in a Whoa.
(SONIC BLAST) Huh? Okay.
I suppose it's too much to hope that weird blast of magic just brings candy for the kids? (SNARLING) (ROARING) (GROANING) Hey, kids.
This is taking Halloween a little too far.
(YELLING) - Hiya! - Ha.
That's kind of cute.
Kids turning into the costumes they love You know, if it wasn't all so terrifying! (SNARLING AND GROWLING) Whoa! Remember the trick or treating we did together? Way back, like, three minutes ago? Good times, right? (SNARLING) Okay, so you're not much for nostalgia.
Whoa! Oh! I had to get bit by a radioactive spider to get my powers.
You kids today have it too easy.
And no! I don't want you to bite me.
(GROWLING) Maybe I'm not making myself clear.
Does this help? (GRUNTING) Sorry, it's tricks for all of you.
(ELECTRIC HISSING) This must be city-wide.
I can't fix this alone.
When there's something strange, there's only one man to see.
(KNOCKING) Trick or treat.
Smell my feet! Argh! You could have just said, "Come in!" (GRUNTS) So, true believers, this mystical powerhouse is Dr.
Stephen Strange, Earth's sorcerer supreme.
He's the greatest magician alive.
And, it looks like he's already on the case.
(CHANTING) Took the words right out of my mouth.
So, Doc, you got this whole, people-turn-to-real-life- versions-of-their-costumes hoopla all fixed up, right? I'm afraid not, my friend.
I've simply contained this monstrous conflagration to the city.
For now.
And what exactly is this monstrous conflu-what-now? And why didn't it affect me? I didn't even get to turn into a real pirate.
Er, spider! You're still protected by my magics from our last encounter.
But, if you desire, I can create the illusion of you with eight eyes, eight limbs, and a web-sacked abdomen.
Nope, I'm fine with spandex, thanks.
Speaking of spandex Which baddie do you think is behind this? Oh, there are many malevolent inter-dimensional beings of great power, that would use their evil magics to break through to the mortal plane.
Around Halloween, the barriers between the realms are at their weakest.
So, how do we keep whichever boogeyman it is from ruining Halloween? I fear that stopping it is beyond my powers.
No matter how deeply I scry into the spell's source it seems to originate at the quantum level.
The tiny space between realms.
I cannot reach into a space so small.
Sounds like we need to get small.
Real small.
I could attempt to transform you into a tiny spider.
- By the Eye of Agamotto, I command - Wait! I didn't mean that.
I've a different bug in mind.
SPIDER-MAN: Scott? Hey, Ant-man? (CHIRPING) I don't recall him being an actual ant.
That's because he's not.
The wave must have changed him.
Just like the kids! (SNARLING) Oh, man, your laptop was on that table.
You are gonna be so bummed when we turn you back.
(GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) Restrain him, so I can implement a reversal spell.
(GRUNTING) Hey, can't we talk about this like two rational insects? Hold him there.
I'm sure my webs can hold a giant ant.
Maybe.
By the Wandering Mists of Brittanthany! (GROANING) Oh, what happened? And, why do I suddenly feel the urge to crash a picnic? Well, let's just say you can check being a giant man-eating ant off your bucket list.
You're only back to normal thanks to Dr.
Strange breaking the magic spell's effect on you.
Wait What You're The Dr.
Strange? And you did magic on me? Ha! Erm, sorry.
It's just that I'm your biggest fan.
Er, you know what, I'm a bit of an amateur magician myself.
Yeah.
Observe.
A bunny, huh, okay.
And Voila! No bunny.
- You just shrank it down, didn't you? - What? No Okay, yes.
But No magician ever tells his secrets, huh, Dr.
Strange, huh? (CLEARS THROAT) Mr.
Lang, the mystical arts are not parlor tricks.
The magical realm requires knowledge that would shatter the minds of most mortals.
Ooh, gotcha.
Smoke and mirrors, huh? Look, Scott, whatever evil enchantment turned you into the man-ant has turned New York's children into demons, and is gonna destroy the city.
We need your help to shrink down, and find the source.
Oh, how small? The quantum realm.
We're going into the fabric of magic itself.
That, I can do.
Anything for a fellow magician.
You work your magic, and I'll work mine.
(CHUCKLES) Just think, two magicians, fighting side by side.
One magician.
There is no time to waste.
This portal will take us where we need to go.
And my patented Pym Particle Projector will make sure we're the right fit.
Up top! Yeah, all right.
I'll just, er (CLEARS THROAT) Start it up.
Time to get tiny.
Welcome to the quantum realm.
ANT-MAN: These super-strings are the foundation of all matter.
Then they really must matter.
Like you weren't thinking of that joke, too.
(ENERGY CRACKLING) There.
The source of the dread magical energy is coming from ahead.
It's Baron Mordo! We battled this wannabe-sorcerer before, but I thought he was destroyed.
ANT-MAN: He seems alive and well, and not alone.
Welcome.
Friends.
(LAUGHS) Friends? I think he's being sarcastic.
(MORDO LAUGHING) MORDO: Two bugs and one pathetic sorcerer.
You were destined to be squashed under my boot the moment you were born.
Dormammu, my slave, crush them! By the hosts of Hoggoth! To make Dormammu his slave, Mordo would need power that That is beyond your comprehension, Strange.
It's cute how you guys finish each other's sentences like that.
So, giant flamey-head and cackling beard-guy don't normally work together? (GRUNTS) No, teaming up with randoms is more my beat.
Wait, what? He's Ultron now? SPIDER-MAN: Oh, come on, that's got to be against the rules.
Impossible! It has to be an illusion.
Ultron is a highly complex artificial intelligence.
(GRUNTING) That's one tough illusion.
This power is far beyond Mordo's capabilities.
Perhaps he, too, is a mere illusion? (LAUGHING) Or, perhaps, just a bad dream, Stephen? I'm afraid I'm all too real.
In our last encounter I was scattered across dimensions by the Siege Perilous, but now I've made myself more powerful than you can imagine.
Oh, wow! I really should've seen this coming.
At this size I can see you've really got some clogged pores, Doc.
You might wanna try Whoa! Ahhh! Ahhh! Whoa! That was wildly disorienting.
So, what? We all face our ultimate villains? You don't suppose I could convince him my ultimate villain is a delicious ice-cream sandwich, do you? What? Brain-freeze is no joke.
This is all just a distraction.
Mordo is maintaining the spell over New York.
DR.
STRANGE: If we can get to him, we can end this.
Strange, go for Mordo! We'll take the big guy! Yeah, maybe you can show him some of your magic tricks, Scott! (GRUNTS) (BOTH GRUNT) (GRUNTS) (SNARLS) (GROANS) Strange! (GRUNTS) (GROANS) Say, Mordo, aren't we sort of responsible for you getting all this power? Isn't a gift basket in order? (SCREAMS) Yikes! ANT-MAN: This way! (LAUGHS) You can't hide from me in this dimension.
So, do you just carry these ants with you for emergencies or something? (LAUGHS) Yup.
This guy is Albert.
I found him at a five-star restaurant.
He is a fiend for white Alba truffles.
Albert has exquisite taste.
Spidey, lure him into one of those electron comet storms.
If I had a dime for every time I've had someone tell me to do that, I'd have exactly one dime.
Weirdly, this is only my second worst Halloween ever.
(GRUNTING) Got it! Should've known he'd go to pieces on you, Baron.
(LAUGHS) Your humor never fails you, Spider-Man.
Let's see if you find this as funny as I do! (CREATURES GROWLING) Nope, that's just horrifying.
Team, bad news! Uh, you ran out of jokes? You wish.
But I think I figured this out.
The power is in Baron Mordo.
He's using his own mind to create our nemesises.
Wait, nemesi? Nemisises? If you're right, whatever happened to Mordo has now allowed him to manipulate the very nature of reality itself, by drawing the power directly from the quantum realm.
Nemisise, nemeseses? If this place is the source of his power, then logically, if we can get him away from here, we can turn off this magic.
Oh, and it's nemeses.
If you can lure him, I can create a portal back to our world.
I just need time to prepare the spell.
Now we are cooking with gas, Strange.
Come on, up high! Guys, I don't think it's that simple.
No, really, it's nemeses.
I mean, I don't think simply sending him back to our world is gonna take away his power.
We might be making a huge mistake.
With respect, Spider-Man, we know what we're talking about.
Just buy me the time I need.
SPIDER-MAN: I'll try, but I'm not sure these ugly bat guys are selling.
(CREATURES GROANING) Watch my back, while I do something really dumb.
(YELLS) (BARON GRUNTS) We've got him on the ropes.
Pour it on! (GRUNTS) (GROANS) And so ends the sorcerer supreme.
Hmm? By the wondrous Winds of Watoomb SPIDER-MAN: Now! (BARON GRUNTS) You're beaten, Mordo.
Am I, Strange? (MONSTERS GROWLING) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) (ROARING) (SCREAMING) Spell's power's gonna fade any second now, right, Doc? Doc? BARON: Watching the hope wash off your face is truly a pleasure, Strange.
Trapped in the realm of magic, I gathered many powers, including one to make whatever I dream into reality.
I only needed a way back to this world.
And we gave it to him.
We fell right into his trap.
You were right, Spider-Man.
We did not see it.
(YELLING) Now, watch, as I remake this world into a living nightmare.
Vehicles! Structures! Obey me! Unleash my chaos on this world! (ROARING) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) Now that's what I call road rage! Live and consume my enemies! (ROARING) SPIDER-MAN: This holiday's supposed to be fun, people.
Hasn't Mordo ever Halloweened before? PEOPLE: Help! (PEOPLE SCREAMING) (MONSTERS ROARING) (EVIL LAUGHTER) (GRUNTS) (CLOWN LAUGHING) (MONSTER ROARING) The light of the all-seeing Eye of Agamotto frees you! (ROARING) (WOMEN SCREAM) SPIDER-MAN: Nothing to see here, folks! Spider-Man, my magics can no longer contain Mordo's spell.
I'd tell you not to worry, but now is probably a good time to worry.
(BARON LAUGHS) You are powerless to stop me, Strange.
(BUZZING) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) Demons or no, you're still subject to the laws of physics.
(HISSES) Did I say laws? Maybe suggestions? The suggestions of physics Enough of these games.
I call upon this city to destroy these pests.
(GRUNTS) Pretend finger guns? Of course.
This is all just make believe.
This magic makes anyone's imagination into reality.
Even us! Right now, I imagine I could use MONSTERS: Huh? SPIDER-MAN: Gatling webs! Yup.
This will do just fine.
Guys, we have to use Mordo's spell against him.
The key is to let your imagination take charge.
What're you talking about? That's scientifically impossible.
And it's not how magic works, Spider-Man.
It's based on a disciplined, educated, and focused mind, not flights of fancy.
This did not come from a disciplined, educated and focused mind.
It came from mine.
Did I just insult myself? Anyway, you've got to open your imagination, it's Halloween.
Isn't there something you always wanted to be? As a matter of fact, yes.
(CHUCKLES) Yes, there is.
Huh, it's not what I had in mind.
I think I understand.
I've always remembered the tales the Ancient One would tell of majestic dragons.
(ROARING) (GRUNTING) Ah, cool! And I've always wanted to be a knight in shining armor.
Ah, yeah! Now, let's show Baron Blowhard the power of a true hero's heart.
(YELLING) (ANT-MAN GRUNTS) (BLASTS) (GROANS) Who dares? Avast ye scurvy dog and taste the sting of me web cannons.
Webbeard the Spirate's revenge is sweet! (GRUNTS) What the Darn! It was actually fun.
Face it! I have won.
There is no spell powerful enough to defeat me! He's right.
Maybe not yet, but there will be, because I'm imagining that spell right now.
What're you doing? (YELLS) (SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS) No one can out-imagine me.
(GROANS) (SCREAMING) Phew.
That wasn't so hard now, was it? What about the spell over the city? WOMAN: Huh? (KIDS LAUGHING) MAN: They're kids! (INDISTINCT CHATTER) DR.
STRANGE: I must admit I underestimated you, Spider-Man, and the power of the human imagination.
I've much to meditate on now.
Thank you.
It might take me a while to figure out the scientific explanation for that one.
Which reminds me, I have a lab to clean up.
Wait, friends, it's Halloween.
You can't leave yet.
Don't you guys want to get in some trick or treating? I do have a strange craving for sugar.
I've never observed this custom.
Perhaps I have something to learn.
Awesome.
Because I've got an idea for a trick that'll also be a treat, for me, anyway.
(DOORBELL RINGS) (CLEARS THROAT) I have been instructed to intone the following candy manifesting incantation.
Trick or treat? Oh, come on, guys.
You're not even trying.
No candy for you.
Well, if you're not gonna give us treats, then (SCREAMING) NOVA: Not cool, Spidey! Not cool.
No, I have nothing to learn here.
Arrr! Shiver me timbers! Happy Halloween, everybody!