Young Sheldon (2017) s06e17 Episode Script

1
Previously on Young Sheldon
Why are you talking to my husband
about your love life?
You know, Mary,
you might want to be careful
about throwing stones,
'cause I've seen your glass house.
Hey, it's Missy. I stole my dad's truck,
I'm running away. Want to come?
Come and get me.
All right, your parents are on their way.
Are they mad?
If my daughter stole my car
and ran away, I'd be mad.
You may never drive again.
And you are not hanging out
with Paige anymore.
I liked it better
when you two weren't talking.
If you're feeling ignored, don't worry.
We're gonna be laser-focused
on you from now on.
(SIGHS)
The stars at night ♪
Are big and bright ♪
Deep in the heart of Texas ♪
The prairie sky ♪
Is wide and high ♪
Deep in the heart of Texas. ♪
Remember, it's always four claps.
Never three, always four. (COOING)
You know who claps three times?
Yankees.
And as Texans, we always remember the Alamo.
Otherwise, we might as well
just live in Oklahoma. Blech.
Hey, how long have you
been here? (CHUCKLES)
I just came to check on her before work.
She was up and you were
snoring like a buzz saw.
I do not snore.
Okay.
Be nice.
You didn't hear it?
I didn't say that. I said, "Be nice."
Okay, well, thanks for
letting me get some rest.
No problem.
- Good morning, CeeCee.
- (COOS)
(CHUCKLES) She's fed, she's changed
and we got through the first two verses
of "Deep in the Heart of Texas."
Did you tell her about the claps?
- Of course.
- Good.
What you planning for your birthday?
Probably just gonna take it easy.
Oh, my God.
Saturday's your birthday. I totally forgot.
Don't worry about it.
Honestly, I don't even know what today is.
- Thursday.
- It's Thursday?
Really? That's weird.
Anyway, I'm really sorry.
It ain't a big deal.
What do you mean, it's not a big deal?
You're gonna be 18.
You can legally buy me cigarettes.
And CeeCee's excited her dad's
gonna be an actual adult
and she doesn't have to change the subject
every time his age comes up.
If I wasn't mature, that'd
probably hurt my feelings.
And you don't have to get me anything.
She's enough.
Glad you like her.
I didn't save the receipt.
Well, I got to get to work.
Bye, CeeCee.
You miss being 18?
No, pretty happy where I am right now.
Yeah, me, too.
- I'm lying.
- Yeah, me, too.
Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
I bet I could be your hero ♪
I am a mighty little man ♪
I am a mighty little man. ♪
ADULT SHELDON: My sister was
facing the repercussions
of her recent joyride
by being grounded at home.
MARY: No TV!
(GROANS)
(TURNS ON RADIO)
MARY: No music!
No magazines.
If you want, you can read a book.
I'd rather die.
ADULT SHELDON: And I, despite being
innocent of all wrongdoing,
was being punished as well.
Not by my parents, but by society
and their insistence on a "spring break."
One whole week of no school. No fair.
You two should do something together.
Go outside, take a walk.
I'd rather die.
I'd rather read.
(SIGHS)
You could make a card for Georgie.
It's his birthday Saturday.
You're right, I need to get him a gift.
I should go to the mall.
You're not going anywhere.
But it's my only brother's 18th birthday.
Excuse me.
Fine, it's my
favorite brother's 18th birthday.
Better.
I got to go to work. Keep an eye on her.
I will.
I was talking to your father,
but actually, sure.
Bye.
So, are you gonna be mad at me forever?
No, not forever.
But I'm not gonna be done anytime soon.
Okay, look, I know I'm grounded
and I'm missing spring break,
and I totally deserve it.
There better not be a "but."
There isn't.
However
I need to catch up on 90210
because everyone
will be talking about it Monday,
and if I miss it, I might as well
not even go back to school.
Too bad.
Come on, even prisoners
get to go out to the yard for an hour a day.
(SIGHS)
Fair enough.
There's the yard. Knock yourself out.
(SIGHS)
I know a way for you
to watch whatever you want.
How?
Your imagination.
That's stupid.
Did you know there's
a German folk song about it?
- Don't.
- My thoughts will not cater ♪
To duke or dictator ♪
No man can deny ♪
Die gedanken sind frei. ♪
Where are you going?
Mom said no music.
- (HUMS MELODY)
- Die Gedanken sind frei ♪
Wer kann sie erraten. ♪
- She's finally napping.
- Great.
You get 20 minutes.
What you gonna do?
Sleep, bathe, eat?
No, I took a bath a few
days ago. I think I'm set.
Those baths aren't just for you.
Hey, I was thinking about
doing something nice
for Georgie's birthday.
How nice? 'Cause I'm all set
with great-grandchildren for now.
Well, I just gave birth
and he's seeing another woman,
so I was thinking maybe a cake
and some of his favorite food.
That's sweet, you're gonna cook.
Actually, uh
Okay.
I'll do the food, you handle the cake.
Great.
Hey, uh, does Mary know how to bake?
Yeah.
Perfect.
(ON RADIO): This is
quite a time for smiling ♪
Hey,
welcome back.
How's little Constance doing?
We're calling her CeeCee.
Well, that's just the cutest.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I got you coffee.
Don't worry,
it's not the sludge we serve.
I got it from the 7-Eleven on the corner.
Thank you, but I'm fine.
Are you sure?
I put some of those
flavored creamers in it.
Fancy.
I really have a lot of work to catch up on.
Of course.
Well, I will leave you to it.
But later on,
I want to see pictures of that baby.
I don't have any with me.
Well, you can describe her to me.
(SIGHS) She's about yay big
and bald.
Nothing you ain't seen before.
Sounds adorable.
Do you want this open or
- Closed.
- Yep.
(THEME MUSIC FOR BEVERLY HILLS 90210 PLAYS)
What are you doing?
(SIGHS) Nothing, go away.
You're not allowed to watch TV.
Sheldon, let me have this.
While Dad's gone, I'm the man of the house,
and the man of the house
has to enforce the rules.
The man of the house is about
to get his teeth knocked out.
Puberty's made you mean.
I need to know what happened on my show.
And you'll find out
when your privileges are restored.
I can't wait that long,
each episode builds on the last.
Imagine a Star Trek that ends
with "to be continued,"
and you don't get to continue.
That would never happen,
because I follow the rules.
You are this close to a purple nurple.
You leave my nurples alone.
(SIGHS)
(KNOCKING)
Yes?
Hey, Mary,
you get a chance
to send out those checks?
Not yet, but I'll get to it.
All right.
It's just that,
the checks to the vendors
go out on Tuesdays, and it's Thursday.
I know the days of the week, Brenda.
Okay.
You want checks?
Here's checks.
Mancuso Maintenance.
$45.
There you go.
- Mary
- Lone Star Vending.
$200.
Okay, if you're mad, just talk to me
instead of whatever this is.
I'm not mad.
Okay, come on, Mary. We're friends.
Just not as good of friends
as you are with my husband.
Okay, if you're gonna keep working here,
we have to figure this out.
Maybe I shouldn't work here.
- Maybe you shouldn't.
- Are you firing me?
Well, I thought you were quitting.
- Maybe I was.
- Then maybe I was.
- Then I am.
- Then I do.
Great, then I'm leaving.
Well, I'm a little confused, but okay.
(SIGHS)
Mary, you're home early.
I'm sorry, am I bothering you?
No, just thought you'd still be at work.
Well, I'm not.
I don't work there anymore.
Brenda and I got in a fight.
Wait, what?
Did you get fired?
Yes. Or maybe I quit.
I don't know, it's unclear.
Well, whichever one it was,
I'm on your side. Screw Brenda.
You don't even know what happened.
You're right. Sorry. What happened?
Well, Brenda was being overly nice,
which really rubbed me the wrong way,
so I tore her head off.
Well, I don't see what choice you had.
George, don't.
What? I'm on your side.
Why do I even tell you anything?
Love you!
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Missy, are you busy?
Do I look busy?
I do some of my best thinking lying down.
Yeah, well, I'm not thinking.
The shower is another
excellent place to cogitate.
Sometimes I'll just
lather up and drift off
What do you want, Sheldon?
Well, I was thinking about
what you said about Star Trek
and how it'd be hard to watch
part one and not part two.
So I can watch 90210?
No, but I can offer you the next best thing:
Theater of the mind.
This is why people hate you.
No, I've watched your program,
and I can tell you everything that happened.
So you know what happens
with Brandon's gambling problem?
And how Dylan and Kelly are doing?
- I do.
- Okay.
Wait, why would you do that for me?
Well, when you tried to watch the tape,
I ended up watching
the first 12 seconds of it,
and the completist in me had to finish it.
That's so dumb.
I love it. Tell me everything.
Well, it starts off with Kelly
working out on an exercise machine.
Oh, she's dating Dylan,
who was dating her best friend.
Mm-hmm.
She gets sweatier and
sweatier, which I'm assuming
is because of the exercise,
although it could be the weather.
Los Angeles is the land of sun and fun.
Did she look upset?
Hard to say. She looked sweaty.
What happens next?
Well, then she and her brother, David,
get into a very heated
argument over a banana.
That doesn't sound right.
Well, in the next scene at school,
everyone gets quiet when Kelly walks up.
I'm assuming it's
because of the banana tiff.
There's no way
the episode was about a banana.
I'm sorry, did you watch it?
What else happened?
Oh, they're also planning Kelly
a surprise birthday party.
Well, that's why they got quiet.
How could you not get that?
No one said it out loud.
You have to pay attention
to how they're acting.
Their faces and body language.
You mean for subtext?
Yeah, subtext.
I hate subtext, I prefer text.
Then just listen to the music.
If it's sad, they're sad.
It's happy, they're happy.
Interesting.
So the music's like a cheat sheet
to help read social cues?
Exactly.
Look at that,
spring break and I'm still learning.
MARY: George said he was on my side,
but if he was really
on my side, he wouldn't
say he was on my side
like he had to calm down a crazy woman.
You know, I can just buy Georgie a cake.
All righty,
I got everything we need
to make chicken-fried steak
and mac and cheese and tater tots.
Healthy.
You said make his favorite meal.
What'd you think that
was gonna be, a carrot?
And it's fine,
I will make the cake.
- Thank you.
- I've got plenty of time.
It's not like I have a job to go to.
What happened?
- You don't want to know.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Sold.
- (DOOR CLOSES)
We're home.
- Hey, how was your walk?
- Slow.
You don't know how many old ladies
are in the neighborhood
till you go out with a baby.
Ooh, tots.
Hey, hands off.
Oh, uh, they're for Saturday.
We thought we'd make you a birthday dinner.
Oh, shoot. Amber's taking me out.
Oh, I thought you said
you didn't have plans.
Well, I I didn't, she just asked.
Can't you cancel?
No, it's it's okay.
It's your birthday,
you should do what you want to do.
Maybe we can do family dinner on Sunday?
- Of course.
- GEORGE JR.: Great.
I got to go clean her up,
she's got old lady lipstick on her head.
Well, you're an old lady. How
do you get that lipstick off?
All right, I'll figure it out myself.
What you watching?
Beverly Hills 90210.
- Isn't that Missy's show?
- Yes,
I'm trying to do a better job
of picking up on the characters'
emotional states.
So, for example, this scene
seems like it's about expired food,
but thanks to the ominous music, I can tell
it's about Kelly's eating disorder.
Give it a try.
Well, let's see. Uh
That one's upset 'cause he's 30 years old
and still in high school.
That's what I thought, too,
but it turns out his father
recently died in a car explosion.
Oh. Well, I can see why
that would make him sad.
- Hold on.
- (SCORE PLAYING ON TV)
Sad music, yep.
You're good at this.
♪
(KNOCKING)
(SIGHS)
What?
I'm not leaving until we talk this out.
ADULT SHELDON: My mom's upset.
Did you get it? Listen.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
We have nothing to talk about.
Fine. Then let's just yell at each other.
I'm not yelling at you.
Mary, we're neighbors, our kids are friends.
We're gonna be in each other's lives
for a long time. Let's do this.
I am busy. I am making a cake.
And I'm talking to a pain in the ass
who won't admit she's mad.
I'm not mad.
Really?
(GASPS)
How about now?
Back yard.
Do you even think about
how your actions affect other people?
Love it. Keep it coming.
You couldn't hang on to your crappy husband,
so you tried to move in
on my crappy husband.
Good, good. That hurt, but good.
(MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING)
Mm, I love me some Chi-Chi's.
You're a cheap date.
You say that now. Wait till you see
how many chimichangas I can put away.
It's your birthday.
Have as many as you want.
You may regret that.
(CHUCKLES)
Thanks again for taking me out.
You don't want to spend the night at home
with some crying baby.
I don't know. When it's your kid,
the crying doesn't bother you as much.
You're not gonna be one of those parents
that brings their babies
to restaurants, are you?
You bet.
Wrap her up like a burrito,
she'd fit right in.
Well, tonight,
you don't have to think about that.
We can just have fun.
I like the sound of that.
You do mean sex, right?
What do you think?
Hmm, maybe I shouldn't get the chimichangas.
And then she sees Dylan
in the hallway and tells her
that she and Kelly are friends again,
and he kisses her on the forehead.
What kind of kiss was it?
Well, it seemed innocent,
but the music was mysterious,
indicating that their love
triangle will totally continue.
Well, that's juicy.
Oh, I'm aware.
If you want,
you can watch with me next week.
No, thank you.
Although, I would like to know
who killed Dylan's dad.
Plus, what happened
to David's recording contract.
Do you really think he's going to
let that producer change his sound?
Boy, I hope not.
I hear you, sister.
Do you have any idea what it feels like
to have your husband prefer to hang out
with your best friend over you?
I know how it feels
to have my husband leave me.
Then you should know better.
You're right.
I mean, I get that you're fun,
and I'm just
a churchy stick-in-the-mud.
Mary, I don't even think it was about me.
It could've been anybody.
That doesn't make me feel better.
I just mean I'm not his wife.
Which makes me easier to talk to.
Don't make it right, but talk's all it was.
Are you sure?
I swear.
Like how sometimes it was easier
for you to talk to Pastor Rob?
But shouldn't George and I want
to talk to each other?
Don't ask me,
I couldn't hang on to my "crappy husband."
Sorry about that.
No.
It's true.
You want to talk about it?
That'd be nice.
George around?
Okay, not ready to joke.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Oh, quick, scratch my nose.
Oh, nothing's ever felt better.
I'm offended.
(LAUGHS)
Hey, what time is it?
About 8:30.
You're home early.
Yeah.
How was your date?
Actually, we broke up.
Oh.
What happened?
Nothing, I just wanted to be here.
Really?
Yeah.
That's what we wanted, too.
Happy birthday.
There is something else
you could do for my birthday.
I had a baby two weeks ago. No.
Not that.
Then what?
Marry me.