Baby Fever (2022) s01e01 Episode Script

1
["In The Dark Of The Night"
by Olivia Thomsen playing]
[objects thudding]
[Nana] Fuck.
[objects clattering]
Fuck.
NANA L. JESSEN
FERTILITY DOCTOR
[Nana] Shit.
[clattering]
I don't know if it's right
Still I'm in for the fight ♪
[soft groan]
I'm chasing ♪
[groans]
[clatters]
Everything sparks
When you're on your own ♪
Ooh ♪
[Nana] Okay, so I stole some sperm
to inseminate myself.
Well, actually, I just borrowed it.
That's fine, right?
Right? Could I actually go to prison
for that?
[groans]
But I could have a baby.
Everything sparks
When you're on your own ♪
3 DAYS EARLIER
NO PARKING OF BICYCLES
[song ends]
- [Soren] Nana?
- Hi.
- Good morning, miss.
- Good morning, sir.
- Stressful morning?
- A bit, yeah.
I've got some clients inside.
Well, it's just,
we didn't get much time together
- last time.
- Yeah, thanks, it was nice.
- We had a nice time.
- Yeah.
- So, I went mushroom picking this weekend.
- You went mushroom picking?
- Yeah.
- Amazing.
- Chanterelles and oyster mushrooms.
- You don't say?
- And they make such a good soup.
- Great.
Maybe you'd like to come over for dinner
next week?
That sounds great, yeah.
My week's pretty, but
- Okay.
- Okay. Have a nice day.
And you.
- Is that the new GE scanner?
- It is.
[gasps]
That's awesome.
I've been bugging
my boss about this for six months.
It shows both the endometrium
and follicles in 3D.
Yeah. And it's smaller in size.
So vaginal penetration will be much nicer.
[clears throat]
[upbeat music]
- Morning.
- Morning.
What's up, Bastian?
Did you drop out first section again?
Mom, will you let me do that?
Uh, no, sweetie.
- I'm afraid that's not a thing.
- I think you can if you want.
- Uh, it's not an option.
- God, you're smart.
The boy is sick and his father
is kite surfing with his new girlfriend.
You know I can hear you, right?
Yeah, uh
- He's got good hearing.
- Yeah.
- Did I see you outside with Fit Physio?
- Well, he's nice.
- He is.
- Good-looking.
- Very.
- A little bit boring.
Wasn't it like a week ago
at Friday Drinks?
You made it sound like
he practically invented sex.
I don't think
I really have time for dating right now.
- Mm.
- I just have too much work.
Here's a good idea. We could swap.
Let's say that you're the single mother,
I'm the doctor who gets
to bang gorgeous physios
- and pay the highest tax rate.
- Yeah?
Can you feel it?
But I'm shit at role play.
If I If I win at bowling,
we have to switch.
Tonight.
Nana!
- Sorry, I forgot.
- Seriously, come on!
- Yeah, but
- How can you forget
- the highlight of the week?
- I don't know. Unbelievable.
- [staff] Nana?
- Uh, yeah, it's unbelievable.
I don't have time to get my bowling shoes.
Then do it in your socks.
- Oh, yeah, like last time?
- It worked out fine.
- Okay, remember that the new guy. You
- Hold on, I know this.
- His name is Andreas.
- Anton.
- Name's Anton.
- Yes, well done.
Anton will be shadowing you today.
- Thanks for that.
- Mm.
It's gonna be over really soon, Latifa.
So the last follicle is draining
now.
- You're doing great, baby.
- Thanks.
Super. I'm now removing it.
[whistles]
Yeah.
Well done. Was it bad?
[Latifa] No, it was okay.
I mean, it's not the nicest thing
in the world.
[breathes heavily]
- [Nana] Uh
- [staff] Yeah, we got five.
- Say again?
- [staff] We got five.
We got five.
Wouldn't it be better
if there were more than that?
Quality is much more important
than quantity, so it's great.
- How do you know the quality's good?
- [Nana] You're only 32.
At your age, the quality of your eggs
should be totally fine.
When I had my twins,
I was only working with three eggs.
It can be enough.
That's very nice to hear.
- Is it tough having twins?
- [Nana] Sure is.
Really tough.
I never sleep, for example, and, um
And the only thing they want
is Coco Pops for supper.
[chuckles]
But when they're yours, you
you just think it's cute.
[sighs]
I
I can't stand the thought of it,
losing another.
It's, um
[sighs]
Actually, I don't know if I can handle it.
I felt exactly the same.
- Did you?
- Didn't wanna take the risk.
I was terrified.
I ended up gaining 25 kilos.
I was just sprawled out on the sofa
eating Marabou and Daim,
bingeing Friends.
[Lene chuckles]
Ten series, uh
That's part of the month, seriously.
[both laugh]
I'm glad to hear you say that.
Tell you what, here's my private number.
If there's anything wrong,
you can just call me.
Day or night. I mean it, really.
I appreciate it, thank you.
Okay, can I
- Can I show you how to do it?
- Great, thanks.
You know models always look so angry.
Why is that?
- Because they're always starving?
- Yeah.
[Nana] Mm.
[Anton] Nana, I just want to say
I'm really impressed
with the way you talk to the clients.
Hi.
- Thanks. Hi.
- [Anton] Yeah, I can tell that
Well, it means a lot to them that you
that you talk about yourself
and you talk about your kids and all that.
- Thanks.
- [Anton] Yeah.
- Which kids did you talk about today?
- Oh, it's not just the twins?
- [Simone] There's Lea, she's 11.
- Yep.
- She's wonderful at jazz ballet.
- It's true. Yeah.
- So you have three children?
- And how's Maxi? Still getting homesick?
- [Nana] Well, things are better.
- Yeah?
I think it was just a phase.
Oh, he just went to Bogo.
- [Simone] Yeah?
- For three days with his class.
[Simone] Wow.
- He loves Billie Eilish.
- Oh, she's good. Here you go.
Thank you.
- So you have four children?
- Yeah. Well, I mean, um
it depends on the situation, more or less.
Mm.
As in shared custody?
Okay. Imagine, uh, that you have a dentist
and they have really bad teeth.
- [Anton] Mm.
- Hmm?
That wouldn't work.
- Mm.
- [Simone] Right?
Yeah, so if they find it reassuring
that I have kids, then
uh
then I do.
So you don't have kids then?
Nope.
[man] I, uh, have to, uh
Want to chip in
for Helle's birthday present?
For sure. What are you thinking?
Yeah, well,
Niels-Anders suggested a sea kayak.
- A sea kayak?
- Yeah. A sea kayak, yeah.
Okay. She'll never use it,
that's for sure.
I know, right? I don't think so either.
- She will, just wait.
- [Nana] Wait and see?
- Wait and see.
- [Nana] A sea kayak?
- [Niels-Anders] She will.
- [Helle] Good morning, everybody.
- Good morning.
- Hi.
Welcome to yet another
wonderful weekly staff meeting.
Let me begin by saying how excited I am
to work with you all every day.
- Likewise, sure.
- [Helle] Thanks.
So, I have a great news.
Um, the numbers are looking
[Nana] Maybe I should just say yes
to mushroom soup with Fit Physio.
But who actually goes mushroom picking?
But he's so good-looking.
Like, so good-looking.
And it was really nice last time.
A little awkward, but it was nice.
But if we do it again,
he might think it's getting serious.
Mmm, sex and soup, sex and soup
And Nana, it's your clients in particular.
I don't know how you do it,
but they they get pregnant by the dozen.
- Mm. That's great.
- [Helle] Yeah.
[Niels-Anders blowing]
Oh, so now, Niels-Anders
would like to share an idea.
[Niels-Anders] Uh
[clears throat]
Well, you see, it's come to my
attention that several of our competitors
have launched an all-inclusive package
- Yeah.
- where all of the scans
and medications are included in the price,
so there aren't any
Yeah, so there aren't any surprises
when the clients
Excuse me. But isn't that
I mean, come on. Isn't that just a way
of swindling more money from people?
No.
I mean, it is.
No, not at all.
I think it's more transparent for clients.
[Niels-Anders] It could be really good,
you know, for our bottom line.
Bottom line? I mean, it's
it's not a football game, is it?
- Wait.
- What?
A foo
Football game?
Yeah, with lines.
- Oh, you mean the touch line?
- Yeah, the touch line.
Can I just interject? If no one
[chuckles]
like me, for instance,
- because I'm the boss, you know?
- Mm.
If no one focuses on our revenue,
then we can't afford to
give a client a discount
every once in a while,
or buy a new scanner, for example.
[Niels-Anders] For example.
- [Helle] And other stuff, Niels-Anders.
- Well, yes, but
- [Helle] Yeah, well, okay.
- So, you're
- [Helle] We'll look into it.
- Okay, fine, then it's fine.
As I've said, Nana, I've not decided yet,
so let's move on.
- One quick thing.
- [Helle] Yeah?
New fruit arrangement.
[Helle] Can I just
Excuse me. Uh
- Nana? Do you have a second?
- Yeah, sure.
- It's about, uh, Marie.
- Oh, your new girlfriend. Yeah.
Oh!
- We've been together for almost two years.
- Oh, yeah.
But
It's just that we we've been thinking
about starting treatment.
- Oh. That's so nice.
- And Yeah.
- Congrats, that's great.
- Thanks, and
So, we would really like it
Well, I guess I'm asking if you'd do
Marie's insemination for us, huh?
- Uh
- I understand it's a bit too
[blows raspberry]
"Shit, the boss's wife." Pressure!
You know, "Such an honour!" Am I right?
I'm just joking. But, look, I'm just
- Hi.
- Hi, Niels-Anders.
You mustn't worry.
We're just regular clients.
So, whenever works best for you, okay?
Our calendar's busy.
I'm sure you're aware, but
But it'd be great if we can start
within the next two weeks
'cause that would fit best
with Marie's cycle.
Okay.
And, um, Niels-Anders doesn't have time?
We both wanted Nana.
- Uh Okay then.
- I mean it. Thank you.
[relief sigh]
It means a lot to me. Thanks, really.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
[Nana] Isn't it beautiful?
I'm just saying the lane is book
for seven o'clock,
and I still have records to file
and I also need to mop up the bank.
It won't take more than two minutes.
And I'll help you clean.
[sighs]
Yeah, but, Nana, you're really bad at it.
Jump up so we can try it out.
No, thanks.
- Hey, come on.
- No.
Come on, please, please,
please, please, please.
I don't have the time and I don't want to.
- Why not?
- Because I
Uh, it'll, like
- You've done this a thousand times.
- I've decided.
- It'll take two minutes.
- And you have to respect what I say.
It's a yes.
- I said "No." That's that.
- It's a no. Shit.
[sighs]
Fine.
What?
- You can scan me.
- No.
Are you serious?
[Simone] Okay.
- Are you ready?
- Yes.
Move it a bit more to the right.
Or up.
Yes. The resolution's amazing, right?
- Mm.
- Can we go further in?
[Nana] There.
Isn't it crazy how sharp the image is?
Do you want me to check anything else?
Hold it there a moment.
Can you try pressing the plus button
down there?
Freeze then plus.
Freeze.
And now zoom it.
- That's perfect.
- There.
Can you now press print?
- [beeps]
- That's all done. Thanks.
[beeps]
Shit.
[Nana] Three follicles.
What does that mean?
Well, it means that, uh
Yeah, I don't know. That I have
maybe five or six cycles.
So that's six months to get pregnant?
That's not too good.
No.
At least not if you want to get pregnant.
- But do you want to?
- I have no fucking idea.
I mean, you've always
you've always said
that maybe it just wasn't
- it just wasn't meant to be.
- I know, I just never imagined that
that my deadline was so near, you know?
You're only 37. Isn't that young
to run out of eggs?
I suppose.
Some women just have
less eggs than others.
- Is it a genetic thing?
- Yep.
That's another thing
to thank my mother for.
Mm.
Well, it's a good thing
we're surrounded by sperm then.
Just take your pick, I say.
[sighs]
I don't know if I'm ready to do that.
And why is that?
Didn't imagine doing it by myself.
How about that nice guy from Vejle?
No, he's way too close to his mom
and it was really weird.
Uh
- Jacob!
- Who the hell's Jacob?
- Um, low hairline, tall.
- I don't remember.
- Frederik, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
He doesn't want kids.
I've got it.
Fit Physio.
Fit Physio?
The Fit Physio.
[groans]
Simone, you don't have kids with a shack
from Friday work drinks.
Sure you do.
Why don't you pick someone
from the sperm bank donor catalogue?
And so so fuck it if a dad's not around.
Your turn.
Okay.
Look at the great single mothers
that you in the clinic help every day.
- Yeah, I know.
- They manage.
Yeah, I know. I just don't think that
my mom was
Well, she was
She was kind of
I actually heard her song
on the radio yesterday.
It's a shame
you didn't inherit her singing talent.
I inherited fuck all.
I don't think I can do anything
apart from work.
- That's not true.
- Is it?
It isn't.
But I still use my phone
to go to the toilet.
Uh, um, what what for?
The torch.
For the torch?
- What?
- It's been six months,
I haven't changed the light bulb yet.
[Simone] Mm.
I don't think
I can be something to someone.
Come here.
[line ringing]
[sighs]
[line beeps]
You've reached Lise LaCour's voicemail.
I can't come to the phone right now,
but if you sing your message,
I might call you back. Bye now!
[beeps]
Hi, Mom, it's me. Uh
I was just wondering how you are.
It's been a while, yeah.
Yeah, I just wanted to say hi.
So, hi.
And
Bye-bye.
[chuckles]
[water running]
[upbeat music]
[upbeat music fades]
[Nana grunts]
Come on. Fuck.
Nana?
Oh, shit.
Hi.
Hi!
- Can I help you with that?
- No, no, it's, um, I think
I think I
I think I spilt it
all over my new jeans.
[chuckles]
Yeah.
Hi.
- Do you need
- Of course, yeah. Thanks.
Okay.
- It's good to see you.
- It's good to see you.
Yeah.
- Uh, do you work here?
- Uh, yeah, I work in, um
Uh, um
In a fertility clinic. In, uh
- here.
- Really?
Uh, right here, so
- Congrats, that's what you wanted.
- Thanks. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, but tell me, so, have you finished
saving the planet?
No, uh, it still needs saving.
Uh, I'm in Guatemala right now.
- But for a quick visit.
- Interesting.
- Yeah.
- Yep.
So what are you doing here at my work?
Um, that is an interesting story. Uh
Uh, I have an appointment
at the sperm bank.
Uh, the sperm bank. Well, it's just, uh
just around down staircase D.
Okay, thanks.
Otherwise, I'd been looking all day.
Of course.
But, um, how long are you here?
Grab a drink?
- Uh, yeah, of course.
- [Nana] Yeah?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- [Nana] This is
- Simone.
- Mathias.
Hi, Mathias.
Nice to meet you.
- Yeah, um, I work with her here.
- I'll be up soon. Just give me a minute.
- Okay.
- [Mathias] Mm.
[Simone] Hmm.
- Bye.
- [both] Bye.
- Uh, yeah, yeah. I've got to get going.
- Yeah, I should get to work. It's, uh
Okay, but we'll figure something out
and, um, yeah.
See you soon, I guess.
- See you soon.
- And, um
- have a nice day, yeah?
- Thanks. Same to you.
Or
[groans]
Bye.
[Simone] Who was that?
Huh? Oh, I do
- So is that an ex?
- No!
- I could tell from your face that he is.
- He isn't.
You never told me about him.
And we dated for six months, and, uh
Yeah.
- It was really good, actually.
- [Simone] Hmm?
[clicks tongue]
He was great.
- Almost too great, actually.
- Yeah, who would really want that?
That's why I always go for guys
with "idiot" tattooed on their head.
They can't disappoint you.
Then he got a job with some NGO
in South America and
Yeah, then it ended.
So he's a definition
of "the one who got away"?
And you haven't seen each other
for seven years?
No.
Well, now he's back to donate sperm
so that other people
can have a beautiful child
that will also save the world.
It's fate that he's come back
right at this moment.
And you two were meant
to see each other, you know?
Did I say he lives in Guatemala?
Listen, just one date with you
and he won't be going back to Guatemala.
He'll be the father of your beautiful baby
and you'll live happily ever after.
Yeah, uh
Well, that's never gonna happen.
[Nana] After he left,
I deleted his number.
Then what's the issue
if you're not gonna call him?
Six fucking months. I mean, come on.
- [knocking on door]
- [door opens]
- [staff] Nana, your next client is here.
- Great. Thank you. Send her in.
[Nana] It's good that you called.
You shouldn't have
to be sitting at home worrying.
Okay, let's have a little look, shall we?
[breathes shakily]
I'm just checking your pulse.
It's a little bit on the high side.
[Lene] Is is that a bad thing?
Not at all, no.
It's just because you're nervous.
Okay.
Let me see here.
Hmm
I knew it.
[muffled heartbeat]
[sighs]
Okay, great.
- Is that the heart?
- Yeah, it's a very strong little heart.
[sobbing]
It's going so quickly.
Well, it must be busy in there.
Little human.
That's the best sound in the whole world.
Yeah.
[slow upbeat music]
[buzzing]
What's up?
[Simone]
Never tell anyone about this, ever.
What are you talking about?
[Simone] I just turned on the computer
in the sperm bank.
I couldn't really help myself.
Check your messages.
[phone chimes]
[Nana] Mm. What is it?
[Simone] All his info. Well, everything
the sperm bank have on him.
So, the first line is his sperm ID number,
then address.
But at the bottom,
that's his phone number.
[Nana] All right.
[Simone] Swear you won't tell a soul.
Relax, I won't.
I'm not calling him, anyway.
At first, I thought I saw you everywhere.
You know, at the market, on the street.
In Chile.
- That was strange. Why would you be there?
- Right.
I actually thought
about writing to you, but
[Mathias] Mm.
- It was a bit hard when you left.
- Yeah, it was a bit messy.
- It was a bit messy.
- [soft chuckle]
[laughs]
Yeah.
It's pretty strange, you know?
That we bumped into each other.
Yeah. It's not a place where you
typically run into someone you know, yeah.
- Are you cold?
- A little.
Thank you.
It's really great to
Yeah.
To see you again.
Likewise.
[chuckles]
When do you want kids?
What?
I just mean
I mean, do you want kids?
- You're asking if I want kids?
- I mean, not right now, or
Actually, yes. Now or soon, like, within
six months maybe?
I just want to know
because it's something that I've
- Yeah.
- It is something that I've, um
[Nana sighs]
Well, I
Don't don't people usually kiss
before discussing children?
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
I'm sorry, that was too much.
Can we maybe just
Can we just pretend that didn't happen?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Let's try.
- Okay, good.
[both chuckle]
All fine.
Great.
And then I ask him, "Do you want kids?
When do you want kids?"
- So, uh
- I mean, seriously.
Uh, okay.
Just pause a second for me, yeah?
Let me just get this straight. Okay.
- So, you're kissing
- Yeah.
and you sort of ask him
if he wants to have kids with you?
Yeah.
Yeah, so, then he kind of, uh, froze.
Yeah, but like, don't blame him.
That's a pretty hardcore
That's a pretty hardcore question
for a first day asking if he
- It is awful.
- What?
- Uh, no.
- Look at me.
Okay.
Is it awful?
- Yeah.
- Fuck!
- Well, it's probably not the smartest.
- What a total fuck-up of me.
Okay, I'll take a break from cleaning,
we'll go up to the clinic,
we'll listen to some Poul
and have ourselves a little shot.
[Nana groaning]
- Are you feeling it?
- Yeah.
- Let's go up to Poul.
- I think, uh
[deep sigh]
I think we might need two shots.
Absolute max two shots.
[mellow song playing]
- [groans]
- [growls]
Come here and hold me ♪
Hold me and hug me ♪
[laughing]
[Simone] I feel like making a double.
Pass your glass. I'll make you one too.
- Ooh.
- [Simone] Here.
We've been adrift in outer space ♪
Like two satellites passing by ♪
[laughs]
No, why did you spill it?
But luckily, we have landed ♪
And you are right here by my side ♪
People like us
Need to find themselves a sweetheart ♪
I'd really like that sweetheart
To be you ♪
So come sit down
We are off to a great start ♪
Like a pathfinder who's back en route ♪
GREAT TO SEE YOU. YOU'RE NICE,
I'M STUPID. SORRY ABOUT BEING BROODY
HOPE I DIDN'T SCARE YOU OFF
[phone chimes]
Babe
- Mm?
- Can you go downstairs and
lock up the sperm bank?
- No.
- Yeah.
No!
[Simone groans]
Okay. If the alarm goes off,
you're paying the fine.
Ooh!
[groans]
[lock clanking]
[clatters]
OMNISPERM ENSURES
NEW RECORD REVENUE
[clattering]
[objects thudding]
Shit. Shit. Shit.
[Nana] Three follicles.
[Simone] So that's six months
to get pregnant?
That's not too good.
When do you want kids?
[Mathias] You're asking if I want kids?
- I have an appointment at the sperm bank.
- Okay.
[Simone] Swear you won't tell a soul.
All his info. Well, everything
the sperm bank have on him.
So, the first line is his sperm ID number
MATHIAS DAHL
["In The Dark Of The Night"
by Olivia Thomsen playing]
In the dark of the night
I'm in for the ride ♪
I'm chasing time, fulfilling the crime ♪
Everything sparks
When you're on your own ♪
Ooh ♪
Everything sparks
When you're all alone ♪
Alone ♪
[Nana] No one ever needs to know.
In the dark of the night
I'm in for the ride ♪
I'm chasing time, fulfilling the crime ♪
I don't know if it's right
Still I'm in for the fight ♪
I'm chasing time, fulfilling the crime ♪
Everything sparks
When you're on your own ♪
Ooh ♪
Everything sparks
When you're all alone ♪
Alone ♪
[song fades]