Baby Fever (2022) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Fuck.
IUI - M.
DAHL - 3671 - 1 No, yeah, I hear you Yeah, please.
Of course, you can come here.
Wait a second.
Okay, good.
Jannick, I hear you.
So you didn't have to repeat.
- I'm just saying we have a problem.
- Yeah, it's Yeah.
- Can we both agree that we have a problem? - Yes, we do.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Why is the boss of the sperm bank here? Well, he's saying that I forgot to set the alarm last night, and then someone broke into the sperm bank.
I fell asleep on the sofa and the cleaner just woke me up.
- I'm so sorry.
- You're sorry? For what? - For what? - What? You said sorry.
No, I mean Oh, fuck.
This is so fucked.
Oh, fuck.
No way I can remember anything after the dancing.
- Right.
- Nana? - Yeah? - Nana, can I borrow you for a second? - What's up? - Right.
Jannick just got a bit wound up, and you're so much better at handling him, so Jannick? - Right.
- Jannick? Number 31 in the queue.
Shitty insurance company.
- Hi, Nana.
- Hi, Jannick.
I was thinking that - that you could explain to Nana - Wait a minute, what's that smell? Sorry, but does someone stink of booze here? - It's just hand spray.
Yeah.
- Mm.
Jannick, I thought you could tell Nana what this is about.
She's also our union representative, so if there's anything I mean, if there's a problem concerning Simone, it's actually Nana you need to tell.
Well, when I came in this morning, I saw the alarm wasn't on, and there's clearly been some sort of break-in - last night.
- Okay.
Ooh.
That's very bad.
It is, and Simone was on cleaning duty yesterday.
- She was supposed to turn it on.
- But I didn't I mean I'm so sure that I turned it - I turned it on before.
- Yeah, so if something was stolen, - you'll pay the fine then.
- Uh - Jannick, tell me - Yes.
Has something been stolen? A computer, any furniture? That's not the point.
The point is, there's sperm worth millions, you know.
So you think someone was trying to steal sperm? That's just Of course no one's going to try and steal sperm.
Uh Come on, that would be so weird.
I mean, who'd do that? No, that would really just be Carsten? - Carsten? - Yeah? Carsten, could you please tell them what you found this morning? I mean, well, the place clearly didn't look like it does usually.
It didn't take long to conclude that we'd had an intruder on the premises.
How so? How did you arrive at that conclusion? Well, this, for example.
- This isn't usually like this, right? - It's never been loose like this before.
Yes, it's usually attached to the table.
Don't pull it up again.
Okay, and is that a bad thing? - There's also the picture, Jannick.
- We don't need to talk about that.
- No.
- Um And it couldn't have been a technical glitch? - Uh, it couldn't have.
I'll show you.
- "Glitch.
" Come with us.
They heard me, Carsten.
It's fine.
This lid and two other ones were teeny bit loose this morning.
Don't you open and close the lids all the time? Yes, of course, but we screw them back on tight.
Always.
So, uh, you're worried someone's tampered with the containers, - or what? - We need to call the police right now.
Yeah, of course.
If you think that's best, then call them.
- What is the number? - Wait.
Wait.
Just a minute.
I just remember what happened in Um, well, I've just remembered this sperm bank in Vejle, I think that was it.
They Wasn't their inventory a mess? Uh, was that Central Jutland Sperm? Precisely.
It was a massive story and It was all over the news, yeah.
But it turned out that they - that everything was in order, right? - Yes.
It was, yeah.
But the story was out and Yeah, they lost all their clients in the end even though they were in the clear.
So they went bankrupt.
A thought just occurred to me.
Um Let's just keep this under the radar.
- Yeah.
- How long would a full inventory of our freezers take? Um If we could check all of the straws in all of the freezers - Yeah.
- cross-check with the register Just tell me how long it would take, Carsten.
Cross-check with the hard copy paper backup.
Well, uh that could take months.
- Well, you've got four weeks max.
- Four weeks max is fine, yeah.
- Good.
Helle, we need to talk.
- Good.
Yeah.
Let's go.
MATHIAS, SORRY IT ENDED SO ABRUPTLY.
HOPE WE CAN MEET FOR A DRINK, OR FOR COFFEE BEFORE YOU LEAVE.
LOVE, N.
I'm so glad you were there.
Jannick can be a bit scary, can't he? Yeah.
He can be a bit much.
Oh, so this is where you're hiding.
How you doing? Um, I guess it was a bit of a rough start to the day for us all.
Yeah.
- That's understandable.
- Yeah.
It's also a very damn situation for me as boss to be in.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
I mean, do you think it's possible that he'll come around? Jannick.
- Nothing happened.
- We don't know that for certain, do we? Right.
Of all our partners, the sperm bank's the most important.
You see, if their revenue drops, our revenue drops.
It's like a body.
Right? If someone cut off the right arm, the left arm wouldn't be indifferent.
- Would it? No.
- No.
- So, what do you think? - I don't know what happened, honestly.
Fuck.
Tell them.
Just tell them.
Do it now, for fuck's sake.
You can't just keep this to yourself.
It's all completely fucked.
I'm sorry.
I am 100 percent responsible, but I Listen, people make mistakes, yeah? And that's okay.
But just this once, all right, hmm? See you up there, okay? I really don't know what I'll do if I'm fired.
I mean, I can't afford You won't be fired.
Just let Carsten do the inventory, okay? - It'll be okay.
You'll be fine.
- Mm-hmm.
How the hell did I forget? No idea.
PHARMACY Number 57, please.
Uh, can I please get a Levodonna? Say again? A Levodonna.
A morning-after pill.
I know what that is, thank you.
'Course.
- It's just better to be certain, okay? - It is.
And, uh, you see, this product here is called Frivelle.
Don't worry about it.
- It's the same - It's fine, go on.
- That's fine.
- It's the same product, so And I assume you know that you need to take it as soon as possible after intercourse.
Yes.
And you should be as far from ovulation - as possible.
- Awesome.
Can I pay? I'm only telling you because if you're close to ovulation, then it won't work as expected.
- I'd like to pay, please.
- I'm just I'm just trying to give you the information.
It's not something we recommend as a form of contraception.
- A hundred and seventeen fifty.
- Yep.
- Frivelle, the next time, okay? - Thanks.
Okay.
I got it.
That's great.
Bye then.
Oh, Nana? - Oh.
- Uh, hi.
You're also sneaking out during lunch? Yeah, uh, well, I just need a - Something for your hair? - Yeah, for - Shampoo.
Hair shampoo.
- Okay.
Number 59, please.
- Yep, that's me.
- See you later.
Yeah.
I'm just so happy I can help.
Doing this for you really means a lot to me.
It does.
Mm.
Yeah.
I think Mum will be proud.
She always said we could never agree on anything.
Well, okay.
But there's a difference between donating an egg - and sharing a Brio train.
- Hmm.
- It'll be great.
- It will.
Relax.
Oh, uh, can I use the bathroom? Yep.
Down the hallway.
It's on your left Uh, right.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I have a kind of stupid question, but, um - Yeah? - It's just, now that it's my sister's egg and I'm just contributing my uterus Technically speaking, will she be the mother or will I Well, I mean, you could say that, uh, the uterus does about a third of the work.
So without the uterus, there'll be no baby at the end, and the environment in the uterus also determines which genes are activated.
So you could say it's, uh, a full team effort.
Yeah, from both parties.
Yeah.
Of course you both have to be okay with it.
Because it's a big decision.
NO, WE PROBABLY WON'T HAVE TIME TO MEET.
BUT NICE SEEING YOU.
LOVE, MATHIAS You ready? - Yeah.
- Good.
Okay.
Just try and relax your leg a little.
So, you still haven't heard from Mr.
Lara Croft? Mathias? I think it's a good joke.
- That was good.
Very good.
- Mm-hmm.
No, uh, actually, I think he's back in the jungle.
Hmm.
Maybe you need to remember that there are plenty more fish in the sea.
You know? And there's a fantastic app called Tinder.
It's strange.
I feel like we've had this conversation.
Yeah, well, Mathias is in the past now.
You need to get back on the horse.
Who knows how many fantastic men are out there on the savannah.
I see you like your animal metaphors.
I just think you should be open.
- Okay.
Do you have it? - Yeah.
Keep going - Keep going? - Keep going.
- What, over here, you mean? - Yeah.
Right about here.
Like that.
Yep.
Down here? - But it needs to be like - It's just lying there like like, like some sausage? - It's not a sausage.
- Morning.
- Uh, Nana? - Give me - Yeah? - Nana, come here.
Could you Where do you think we should put this? - Yeah.
- Yeah, well, not in the room.
- It won't be a surprise then, will it? - That's what I said.
- Hi, Nana.
- Hi, Carsten.
Hi.
I'm sorry, but I can't make it to the party.
I'm still counting those, uh, sperm straws.
- Well, smart.
- But I have bought a present for Helle.
- Where should I put it? - Uh, yeah, just put it on the gift table.
- It's a surveillance camera.
- Okay.
Super.
I bought three for the sperm bank and got this one for free.
Well, nothing's free, it's more of a bonus.
- A delight.
- Yeah.
Do you reckon I could have some of that cake? Yes, I'm sure you can.
Go, man.
Just relax.
Just relax, he's not going to find out.
It's one sperm straw.
One sperm straw is nothing.
He'll never find out.
Fuck.
What have I eaten? Hi.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
It's our boss's 50th, so we had to put some decorations up.
It's fine.
We just got here, so we just sat down.
Listen, I'm really sorry that we didn't have a successful first round of IVF.
I recommend that we try different egg-stimulating hormone.
- Okay.
- What is that exactly? It's a procedure we do sometimes if we suspect that the first hormones haven't managed to activate Christina's ovaries and mature the eggs fast enough.
- Uh-huh.
- In my view, we should try something new.
- Now.
- Yeah.
I think I think that sounds wonderful.
Well, if you think it'll work.
Yeah.
We could use a little bit of luck, eh? Or we could use a bit of a bit of success now.
Well, we're not giving up.
At least I'm not giving up.
Yep.
Right now, I just wish I felt nauseous again.
Mm.
Last time, we actually made it, uh, to eight or nine weeks, I think, before we lost it.
And then there were a few weeks where I felt nauseous.
But because Well, it's a sign, so I was so happy whenever I had to throw up.
Nausea.
Fuck.
PREGNANCY TES Well, if we help it, instead of just arguing.
- You just don't like my idea - But why should I - Nana? Nana? - Uh, stop.
Fuck.
Fuck.
May Helle live a long life ♪ Free her heart, desires fulfilled ♪ With steaming hot chocolate ♪ And delicious cake ♪ Aah! Thank Thank you.
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.
Really.
- Congratulations! - Thank you.
Did you bring a present? Shit.
I didn't see you there.
I didn't mean to scare you.
- It's fine, I'm just - Yeah, give it to me.
- Yep.
- I've had a - Fine, I'm just - Yep.
- Can I Can I hold onto you, yeah? - screwy day.
Whoa! - I knew it! - Just hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.
- I'll hold you, okay? - Oh.
So, is it your idea? The sea kayak? - Aah! Still, that - Let's turn the kayak round.
No! No, Niels-Anders, stop! Stop! It was not my idea.
There's no way that she'll use that boat.
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
Well, thanks.
Really, thanks.
I absolutely can't imagine that she will.
- Well done, sweetheart.
- Thanks.
- Look at me.
- Okay.
Okay.
I'll keep it short.
Really short.
Um I want to thank you from the from the bottom of my heart.
- Um - Thank you.
Right.
Turning 50 is easy when you have the best employees ever.
And I mean it.
Oh! And, um, partners.
Jannick.
We're good, right? Yes.
But truth be told, uh, today isn't really that important.
Um, can't see a thing.
Mm.
No.
Every single day matters to me.
Um, any random day.
When you come to me during, uh, a pause, uh, and a meeting, or, um and quietly, you say to me, "Helle, thanks for supporting me.
Thanks for having my back.
Thanks for being my chief.
" Yeah.
I wake up every morning and I think that what you give me, I return ten-thousandfold.
Can I get you something? I need the bathroom, just one second.
You are what matters.
You matter I really mean that.
You are what matters.
Knowing that that I am right there for each and every one of you.
And I don't need to say, you know who you are, and, um, I know who I am, and that's because of you here.
Oh, sorry, I'm getting emotional.
Uh Well, before this leads to waterworks, I think we should toast.
Let's do it.
- Skal.
And thanks, I mean it.
- Skal.
Skal.
Congratulations, Helle! Congratulations.
Congratulations to me.
Congrats on being pregnant with the sperm I stole from Mathias.
Shit.
I wonder if you can give birth in prison.
Hi, Ma.
Hi, sweetie.
I saw you called.
Yeah, I did.
Uh, that was about two weeks ago? Oh, I've just been so busy.
Apparently, the audience just can't get enough of me.
Was it important? No.
Um It wasn't actually anything.
It wasn't anything that serious.
Well, remember you can always call me, darling.
- I have to go, so, bye.
- Yeah.
Now we just need to find the little heart.
And? Is it okay, or Oh, it's very good.
Very, very good.
Sorry, it's, uh - exactly the way it's supposed to be.
- Wow.
A little baby heart.
Wanna say hello to the little one? The belly? - No.
Not now.
- Hello in there.
- I'll just remove this.
- Sure.
Okay.
Give me your hand.
And just say anything.
I don't know what to say.
Welcome - It should get to know your voice.
- Yeah, I know.
- Say what you like.
- Right.
- Come on, anything.
- I just don't feel like it.
- Well, why not? - Sorry, I just - Come on, babe, just say something.
- Not right now, all right? Maja Seriously? I just think that this is really important and I, uh I just feel like I'm watching from the sidelines.
Well, you are, yeah, so? But all the people who are cheering on the sidelines they're very important.
Well, I just feel like I'm a bit more on the sidelines than everyone else because in theory, it's not even my child.
Because you don't share the same genes? Yes.
Lots of people think that when their babies are born.
In my house, you know, I'm the one who's on the sideline.
And my wife she's the wildest mum to the kids.
She's definitely the favourite even though I carried them.
- Is that right? - Mm-hmm.
And you know what, the way they laugh and walk, and all that kind of stuff, they they get it from her.
Families come in different shapes and sizes.
A dad, a mum, a second mum, right? As soon as that child is born, it's 1000 percent your child.
And you are the 1000 percent mum.
- That's a cool title.
- A super cool title.
- I'd better get back to Tiff.
- That's a good idea.
Yeah, families come in different shapes and sizes.
That's true.
But I feel sorry for the baby who gets me as their family.
Just me.
A fuck-up of a mother.
- Hi.
- Hi.
My name is Soren.
- Anne.
- Hi.
- Welcome.
- Thanks.
- Um - I have an appointment at one.
- Yeah, you're right.
- Okay.
I guess I could find a dad.
A nice dad, a handsome dad.
A Fit Physio dad.
Can you show her to the room? - Yeah, sure.
- Great.
I'll be right there.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Have a gift.
- Okay.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Uh, I just wanted to apologise for never replying, um, to your invitation for mushroom soup.
Here, have a white brownie with chocolate crunch, buckthorn purée, and hand-picked, candied cherries.
- Great? - Okay.
Great.
- Thanks.
- Enjoy.
- Amazing.
Thank you.
- That's great.
So, uh, hand-picked cherries, is it? I think so? How else could you pick cherries? Hmm? With feet, of course.
Or teeth.
Well, whoever's first to tie a knot in this hand-picked cherry stalk, with their tongue, is treated - You can't.
No.
- is treated to dinner.
One, two, three, go.
Mm.
Mm.
Yeah, fuck's sake! - I can't believe you can do that.
- Pretty cool, hmm? It's actually very cool, isn't it? How did Where did you learn that? You can have it.
I can have it? Wow, thanks.
Interesting that you're such a bad loser, Soren.
I hate losing.
And it's really embarrassing to admit.
What about you? What's your big secret? - Hey! Hey, hey! Hey! - Oh, God, sorry.
I'm really - I'm really sorry.
Oh, shit! - Come on.
- No, no, no, sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- What are you doing? - Oh.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry.
- Right, okay.
- I didn't see you.
- No, great.
- The two of you.
- Okay.
Come here you.
- Sorry.
- Come on.
Fuck! Oh, Mathias! - Oh, Nana.
- Shit! Sorry.
Yeah.
No, seriously, I think I just broke a dog.
Okay.
The dog looked fine to me.
Uh Oh! Sorry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Sorry, just May I ask, have I walked to, uh, Guatemala, uh, instead of walking to mine? No, you didn't.
I, uh I just didn't go back.
It's a long story.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- Then so Welcome to Copenhagen.