Family Law (2021) s01e01 Episode Script
Sins of the Fathers
1
♪
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
[RINGING]
[RINGING]
[SKATERS THUMPING ON CAR]
[PANICKED HORN HONKING]
[RINGING]
Abigail Bianchi.
[BOB JOHNSON] Where the hell are you?
Our case starts in 10 minutes!
Shit!
Uh sorry.
Car troubles.
We were supposed to meet an hour ago.
Five minutes away.
I hired you because you're
supposed to be the best,
- and now you're
- Sorry! Losing you.
[TEACHER] We are about to witness
our justice system at work
One of the true
cornerstones of democracy.
Mr. Johnson, the clerk has
paged your lawyer twice.
If she isn't here in two more minutes,
I'm dism
[DOOR BANGS OPEN]
I'm here.
Sorry I'm late.
[GALLEY MURMURS]
♪
[JUDGE] No recording
devices in the courtroom, please.
What is wrong with you?
Relax. It's all good.
Uh ahem.
Your Honour, I
[STOMACH RUMBLING]
Excuse me.
[STOMACH RUMBLES]
Are you all right, counsel?
Uh, yeah. Yes.
Your Honour, I
[STOMACH RUMBLING]
♪
my client has, um
suffered a
deep trauma.
- [CROWD GASPING]
- Whoa!
Remove Ms. Bianchi immediately.
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God!
-
- ♪
The Law Society's
terms are quite extensive.
You've completed your
three-month suspension
- as of yesterday.
- Yes.
- [PEN CLICKING REPEATEDLY]
- Did you pay the $3,500 fine?
Yes.
[STOPS CLICKING]
The disciplinary board also requires
proof of regular attendance at
- I know all this.
- A.A. meetings,
plus random breathalyzer tests
- I know.
- and random collection of
I know!
[EMPHATICALLY] urine samples.
And lastly, for the next year,
you can only practice law
under the mentorship of a senior lawyer.
You're welcome.
Those are the law
society's requirements.
These are mine
You will take on only menial tasks.
You will be prompt,
respectful,
and you will be sober.
You will not draw any
unnecessary attention
to yourself or my firm.
If you step out of line,
I will fire you and
you will be disbarred.
Are we done?
Isn't there something
you'd like to say to me first?
Mm, nope. Not that I can think of.
No other lawyer in town would touch you.
Not even your own firm.
What do you want me to say?
How about
"Thank you, Dad"?
After 33 years of
Oh! That is entirely unfair!
[DISPUTE CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
Can you hear what they're saying?
No.
What are you doing?
She's here.
Okay, that only works in movies.
You seen her yet?
Did you read about her
case in the disciplinary digest?
In gory detail, and
watched it on YouTube.
He's making an epic mistake.
She's his daughter. What
else was he supposed to do?
What he's done for decades.
Act like she doesn't exist.
- Oh, Daniel!
- Ahem!
Everyone, this is Abigail Bianchi.
Abigail, you remember
Jerri, our office manager.
[JERRI] Ohh!
Last time I saw you,
you were knee-high to a grasshopper!
Last time I saw you, you had a beard.
Ahh.
Cecile working towards
becoming a paralegal.
Actually, sir, it's "Cecil".
And Daniel and Lucy Svensson
Your brother
and sister.
[POP! FIZZING]
["UH-OH" BY JEREMY FISHER PLAYS]
♪
You can't prove it ♪
Uh-oh ♪
You got nothing legit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
The glove don't fit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
You gotta acquit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
The charges won't stick 'cos ♪
I ain't no sucker ♪
Ain't your lollipop but ♪
You can kiss my sweet ♪
Uh-huh ♪
Never gonna stop
Never gonna stop ♪
Never gonna stop
Never gonna stop ♪
You can't prove it ♪
Uh-oh ♪
I am so sorry.
I had no idea Abigail
Bianchi was your sister.
♪
Man
Harry was prolific.
Three kids from three different mothers?
Hey
this means you're not
the oldest kid anymore.
You're the middle child, like me.
Take this to the drycleaners.
Um, I'm not supposed to
do your personal errands.
♪
[GALLEY GROANING AND GASPING]
So did you draw the short straw,
or are you the firm's
official tour guide?
No, I was I've actually been
looking forward to meeting
you for a really long time.
Oh. Sure.
Well, Harry does the
bulk of the litigation.
Daniel does mostly collaborative.
So, not real law.
I I have office
space across the hall.
- You're a psychologist, is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
Grades weren't good
enough to get into law school?
Lucy got her Ph.D. from Stanford.
Harry paid for you to go to Stanford?
Uh, there's the kitchen
Yeah. Until this morning,
it was always stocked
with beer for Fridays at 5:00.
And that's the photocopier.
And here we are, at yours.
We're tight for space.
And your arrival was
Unexpected.
Family law sourcebook.
For your reading pleasure.
Who's my legal assistant?
[CHUCKLES]
Good one.
♪
[JERRI] Lucy?
This young lady wants to see you.
Says she's your neighbour.
Rosie.
What are you doing here?
You said you did work
for lawyers sometimes,
and I need a lawyer.
What for?
I want to take my mom to court.
So what's up?
You and your mom seem pretty tight.
We were.
I want to know who my dad is,
and she won't tell me.
[BOOK THUDS]
Sorry.
My office smells like farts.
[ROSIE GIGGLES]
So, you don't know who your dad is?
I know she used a, you know,
donor, but she won't tell me where
the, you know, "donation" came from.
Well, even if she did, a sperm bank
Sorry, a "you know" bank,
would be under no obligation
to disclose the identity of the donor.
Donors have confidentiality rights.
I thought your specialty
was personal injury.
My husband's in family law.
You're a lawyer?
Guilty as charged.
[ROSIE] Maybe you could help me.
Maybe we should take this to my office.
Nah! Let's stay here.
[CHAIRS CLATTER]
Ahem.
Why has this become important to you?
We've been doing our
family trees at school,
and one whole side of my
family is just a big, fat blank.
- [SPRINKLES CRUNCHING]
- Like, what if I have
some genetic flaw that I
could pass on to my kids?
Or what if I, like, marry
someone who's related to me?
Mm. Like the royal family.
You could have kids with flat foreheads.
Exactly!
Like, how come I'm left-handed?
And how come I can
sing, but my mom can't?
Mm, your mom needs to
tell you what she knows.
I can't stand my dad, but
at least I know who he is.
[POINTEDLY] Thank you, Abigail.
I can see how difficult this is for you.
Maybe, as a next step,
I can try talking to your mom.
That would be awesome.
And you could come, too.
Abigail has a lot of work to do.
Nope. No, I don't.
Count me in.
♪
I want full custody. End of story.
That is ridiculous, and you know it.
Know what else is ridiculous?
You having sex with my best friend!
Okay. Okay.
I understand emotions are running high,
but we agreed that, if I
was to arbitrate for you,
you needed to put Craig first.
Which is why I want full custody.
Craig has a lot of special needs.
He does not!
You've just projected your
own insecurities onto him.
He is so much more
relaxed when he's with me.
Right, Craigy? Boy?
Right, Craig?
Look at Mommy.
Boy. Craig!
- Hey.
- Craig.
[CRAIG WHIMPERS]
[JEANETTE] I just don't understand
why it's so important
to her all of a sudden.
Jeanette, Rosie's 13.
This is all about her
finding her identity.
It's not something
that's going to go away.
If anything, the feelings
are only gonna intensify.
It's just
It's embarrassing.
No one's judging you, Jeanette.
I always wanted kids,
and when I turned
35 and was still single,
I went to a sperm bank,
but it was more than I could afford,
so I put an ad on Craigslist.
[ABIGAIL LAUGHS]
Are you serious?
Abigail, please.
No judgment.
I offered $100, a lot of guys responded.
Most of them were creeps.
Yeah, duh.
But there was this one
guy who sounded nice.
We met up, one thing led to another,
and I wound up getting
pregnant the conventional way.
But it was just one night.
When I woke up, he was gone.
I never even had a chance to pay him,
and I never saw him again.
Did you get a name?
Mark. That's all.
He worked in construction.
Why not share this story with Rosie?
She can handle it.
Did Mark have any defining features?
He was tall.
Nice smile.
He had a tattoo on his forearm
A tortoise.
Said it reminded him that
"slow and steady wins the race."
Well, I can find him.
Easy-peasy.
You shouldn't get
their hopes up like that.
It's all good.
I know a guy who can track
him down in a nanosecond.
Well, even if you do find him,
what if he wants
nothing to do with Rosie?
Or what if he's a jerk?
Well, then she'll learn a
valuable lesson early on
Men are disappointments.
Do you really hate Dad that much?
I don't hate him.
I have no feelings for him whatsoever.
When did he
Walk out on us without
a backward glance,
after he'd knocked up Daniel's mom?
When I was seven.
That must've been really hard.
I guess he learned some
lessons by the time he had me.
Dad raised me on his own when Mom died.
Well Dad and a full-time nanny.
How old were you when she passed away?
Eight.
He would've left her, too.
If your mom hadn't died.
He would've left her, too.
Bitch.
♪
How was your first day at school?
Ha, ha.
Okay
Dish.
How old does your father look?
Fine. Old.
Older than me?
By a decade.
I always told him,
"stay out of the sun,"
but would he listen?
Mom, do you have to?
Sorry, darling.
My house, my rules.
What about your
rainbow-coloured siblings?
Uh, seriously, Mom?
Not exactly a warm and fuzzy reunion.
They don't want me there.
I don't want me there either.
So you made a mistake.
We all do.
Look at me, I married your father.
You'll get through this.
You're a fighter,
like your mother.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
Oh. Okay, make yourself scarce.
I don't want to have to explain my
40-year-old boomerang
kid on a first date.
Go, hurry up. Now.
Okay.
[NICO] You'll never guess
what happened at school today.
Mm
A meteor fell from the sky
and crushed your principal?
No. We played baseball in
gym, and I wasn't picked last.
Just third-last.
Wow. Nico, way to go.
Yeah, that's progress.
Hey, um, can I talk to your sister?
Sofia, it's Mom.
[HUSHED] Tell her I'm not here.
But she knows you're here.
[SOFIA] Don't care.
Sofia's not here.
Okay.
Well, if you see her,
tell her I love her.
Almost as much as I love you.
I love you, too, Mom.
Please come home soon.
I'll do my best, kiddo.
I'm gonna see you Wednesday.
Okay?
- [BLOWS KISSES]
- See you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
[NOTIFICATION ALERT DINGS]
-
- ♪
[WOMAN] It wasn't until I had passed out
while I was looking after my grandson
that I realized I needed help.
I've been one year sober now
and my daughter
is finally starting to
trust me with him again.
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
Abigail?
Would you like to share?
I'm good.
Hi.
Uh, my name is Abigail.
[ATTENDEES] Hi, Abigail.
And I'm a
schm-alcoholic.
Did you just say "schm-alcoholic"?
What? No.
[PHONE STARTS BUZZING]
Uh, this is a no-phone zone.
Sorry. Excuse me.
Uh, um
Hi.
Great.
East Hastings?
You're a peach, Eli.
[BEEP]
Hi. My name's Zoey. I'm an alcoholic.
[TATTOOIST] Normally, I never
remember who gets what,
and sure as hell not from 14 years ago,
but that was the first
and last tortoise I inked.
And the guy left an impression.
How so?
Am I glimpsing a tattoo on your
How so?
Uh, he paid in trade.
Built me a nice little shed.
You know, after your guy called,
I dug out my records.
Question is
What are you gonna give me in exchange?
[CHUCKLES]
I did my own research before I came in.
One of your clients
is pursuing legal action against you
because instead of giving her
a "Proud Vegetarian" tattoo,
you inked "Proud Vagetarian."
What's it to ya?
You hear about that guy last year
who spilled hot coffee
in his lap while driving?
And texting?
And trying to pull the
lid off with his teeth?
Yeah, the moron sued
and got, like, millions.
I was that moron's lawyer.
Should you need it,
I'll give you one hour of legal advice.
Hmm.
Pro bono.
♪
[LUCY] Thank you.
Abby!
Abby, this is a terrible idea.
Why? I just wanna tell
him the happy news.
It's an ambush.
Why don't we set a
meeting up at the office?
Where's the fun in that?
So it goes a little Jerry
Springer, so what?
I can't believe you found him.
He still works construction?
Uh, you could say that.
That would be "Mark Bridger."
Oh, my god. That's him.
Wait here.
Mark Bridger?
Can I help you?
My name is Abigail Bianchi.
I'm a lawyer.
You answered my client's
ad about 14 years ago,
on Craigslist.
Your, uh
"donation" yielded results.
Congratulations.
You're a father.
Uh, can you excuse me a moment?
♪
You ambushed Mark Bridger?
I did not ambush him, okay?
That's Little Miss Tattle-Tale's
dramatic overstatement of the facts.
Maybe stunts like that
worked at your old firm.
Would everybody just relax?
Jeanette and Rosie aren't even clients.
I merely did them a favour.
Jeanette may not be paying the firm,
but you definitely gave the impression
to them and Mark Bridger
that you're their lawyer.
I bet you were real popular in school.
[HARRY] Your brother
and sister are right.
A guy like Bridger wields
a lot of influence in this city.
Although, heh, I'd have paid good money
to see him do a runner
when you told him the news.
Almost did the same when
your mom said she was pregnant.
[KIDS] Which mom?
All of them.
Could someone please explain that?
[DANIEL] Arbitration I'm doing.
Until we come up with
a custody arrangement,
they want Craig to
stay with a neutral party.
"Custody"?
Dogs are not people, Daniel.
They're property.
Try telling them that.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
- [CRAIG HUFFS]
Mark Bridger's here to see you.
[HARRY] Oh, give me
10 minutes to change.
I'll see him in the boardroom.
Actually, he requested Abigail.
Oh.
♪
Mr. Bridger, Harry Svensson.
I-I want to apologize
for the behavior of our new, um
Junior associate.
I'm the one who should apologize.
I shouldn't have taken off like that.
The news was
Overwhelming.
I didn't think children
were in the cards, so
To find out I have a daughter
If she's willing, I'd like to meet her.
Oh, I'm sure that can be arranged.
Isn't that right, Abigail?
Absolutely, Harry.
♪
You didn't really need to come.
After seeing how you
operate, I felt I really did.
♪
Hi, Rosie.
Hi.
Hello, Mark.
Uh this is Yvonne. My wife.
Yvonne, this is Rosie.
[YVONNE] Delighted to meet you, Rosie.
It's nice to meet you, too.
And you must be Jeanette.
Mark and I haven't been
blessed with children of our own.
To find out I have a daughter
[YVONNE] It's a gift.
- She has your eyes.
- Yeah.
Do you like chocolate-chip cookies, too?
[MARK] Do I!
Uh, three milkshakes to start,
please, one vanilla, two chocolate.
♪
Mom!
Nico!
Hey.
Hey, guess what I learned today.
- What?
- I bet you didn't know
that female praying
mantises eat their mates.
I did not know that,
but I am delighted,
mildly perturbed to find out.
So Dad says you're
working for your dad now.
Uh, temporarily, yes.
But you said your dad was dead.
Um, no. I didn't say that.
What I said was, he was dead to me.
So, if he's your dad, that
makes him my grandpa.
Biologically speaking, yes.
Sweetpea, where's Sofia?
She said she had too much homework.
She did, did she?
Well, lucky duck, it looks
like you're gonna have to finish
two milkshakes.
Why don't you get started
and I'm gonna be right back?
Okay?
[CELL PHONE SPEED-DIALS]
I have a right to see my daughter.
[FRANK] I agree, and I did my best,
but I can't force her to come.
Yes, you can!
I hardly get to see them as it is,
thanks to you.
No, Abby. Thanks to you.
Don't you pin all this on me, Frank.
I'm not the one who cheated.
Hanging up now.
You're lucky I'm not a praying mantis!
[BEEP]
♪
[FOOTSTEPS]
[KNOCKS]
Jeanette Gyurkovich is here to see you.
Do you have a moment?
I got nothing but moments.
How you doing?
I've, uh, been better.
You?
Eleanor and I just celebrated
our 30th wedding anniversary.
Congratulations.
My point is
If our marriage could survive this
Yours can weather the
storm, too, if you work at it.
You, I've missed.
♪
Conference table.
Thank you.
How are things with Rosie and Mark?
And Yvonne.
Don't forget Yvonne.
[CHUCKLING]
Great.
Fabulously, wonderfully great.
You're feeling like the third wheel?
I know that I should be happy for Rosie.
But, yesterday,
they bought her a brand-new iPhone.
And Yvonne took her
shopping for new clothes
without even asking me.
She must have spent $1,000.
I wish that I could
buy her stuff like that.
But you could never afford it.
On my salary?
Not in a million years.
And then
Last night,
Rosie announces
that Mark and Yvonne
are giving her her own
room in their house,
and she wants to stay
there every other week.
You feel like you're
losing your daughter.
When you were the one who
was up with her every night
when she was a baby,
who took care of her
through every illness,
every scraped knee
Who went to every soccer
game in the pouring rain
She doesn't play soccer.
Work with me here.
What I'm saying is, you're her mother.
And Mark and his wife
swoop in and act like
they can take over,
like you're not a vital
part of your kids' lives.
"Kid." Singular.
Where does that leave you?
♪
- [KNOCKS]
- Yes.
I know you don't want
me taking on cases yet.
Correct.
But I think I've got a good one.
One that could generate some
decent income for the firm.
Proceed.
I want to sue Mark Bridger
For 13 years of
retroactive child support.
♪
[LUCY] I've given it a lot of thought.
It's not a good idea.
Why? Why is it not a good idea?
Because you could ruin
a relationship that's just started.
It's a fragile emotional situation.
"Blah, blah, blah, emotions."
Let the lawyers talk law
for a moment, will you?
[LUCY] You are a textbook bully.
"Bully"?
- What are we, in kindergarten?
- [HARRY] Stop it.
You're all acting like
you're in kindergarten.
[CRAIG PANTING]
Abigail, why do you
want to go this route?
First of all, there are precedents.
A lesbian couple in the U.S.
used a sperm donor they found online.
They split up when the child was small.
The biological mom
applied for social assistance.
When the state found
out she'd used a donor,
they sued him.
He was forced to pay child support
so the state wouldn't have to.
Did Bridger sign any
paperwork all those years ago?
Anything that absolves
him of financial obligations?
Nope. Nothing.
Mark Bridger has deep pockets
and Jeanette has nothing.
We have a moral
obligation to represent her.
[LUCY SNICKERS]
Can we at least not pretend
that this has anything
to do with your morals?
Daniel, what do you think?
If we move forward with this,
balls will shrivel around the nation.
But the law's on our side.
This could also make
the firm a lot of money.
We treat this like a
personal injury case.
She can give us 33% of
the settlement I get for her.
What you get for her?
No. No, Harry or I will
take the lead on this.
[ABIGAIL] No, you will not.
This is my case.
You're on probation.
You don't know family law.
A monkey could do family law.
Craig could do family law.
- Forget it!
- I can do this.
I'll be lead counsel.
You'll be my junior.
She knows the backstory better than you.
You do all the work,
I do all the talking in court.
♪
Cecil, take Craig out for a pee.
I'm really more of a cat person.
[SNAPS] Cecil!
♪
[LUCY] I don't know
what I expected with Abby,
but it wasn't this.
I mean, I knew it wasn't gonna
be sunshine and rainbows,
but I didn't think she'd
be such a colossal bitch.
[DANIEL] You said it, not me.
She's a ticking timebomb,
and if she goes off around
us, we will be collateral damage.
[APPLE CRUNCHING]
I don't know what the hell
Dad expected would happen,
just dropping her
in our lives like this.
[LUCY] Yeah.
To think, when I was little,
I always wanted a sister.
Now I'm just counting down
the hours till the weekend
so I don't have to see her face.
[DANIEL] Mm-hmm.
♪
[GALLEY GASPING AND CRYING OUT]
[JUDGE] Remove Ms. Bianchi immediately.
[BOB] Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God!
[JOANNE] Yoo-hoo, I'm home.
Ugh, that man.
Patchouli oil
is not a replacement for deodorant.
And he had food stuck in his beard.
Oh, it was like a squirrel
storing snacks for the winter.
Why'd you go out with him?
Because he owns an island.
Right, you're in court tomorrow.
Honey, I'm sure it's like riding a bike.
Yeah, except the
last time I rode a bike,
I puked all over my client.
Oh.
♪
Good morning.
Shall we?
♪
♪
[INDISTINCT EXCHANGE]
♪
After you.
[QUIET BACKGROUND CHATTER]
- Good morning.
- Hi.
This was your plan all along, wasn't it?
Find me, lure me in, make me pay.
- That's not true.
- [HARRY] Take your seat, Mr. Bridger.
You shouldn't be talking to
us without your lawyer present.
Oh, my lawyer will be here very soon.
I found a good one.
In fact, strange coincidence
He has the same last name as you.
♪
Is this going to be a problem?
Do you know him?
You could say that.
He's my husband.
Uh-oh ♪
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Bridger hired me.
- Yeah, to get back at me!
- Abigail, sit down.
♪
All rise for Judge Fraiberg.
When you answered
Ms. Gyurkovich's ad on Craigslist,
was it clear she simply
wanted a sperm donor?
Yes, it was.
In fact, it read
"Sperm donor wanted.
"Must be healthy, educated, and fit.
"Will pay $100.
"Donor will have no financial
or parental obligations."
Madame Justice,
my colleague and his
client are simply trying
to cash in on my
client's new-found wealth.
Counsel rests.
Mark Bridger,
when did you become a father?
Two weeks ago.
No.
You became a father the
moment Rosie was born.
Objection.
He had no idea he was a father.
Overruled.
When you and Ms. Gyurkovich
had sexual intercourse,
you knew she wanted to get pregnant.
The ad said "no financial obligations".
It also said "no parental obligations,"
yet here you are,
spending all this time
with your daughter.
And Jeanette isn't stopping you.
In fact,
she understands it's a good thing
for her daughter to have a
relationship with her father.
And I'm grateful for that.
And yet your gratitude
doesn't extend to your pocketbook.
Don't you think Jeanette
deserves something
for raising your child
after all these years?
You think you can just waltz in now
and have everything be on your terms?
Objection, Your Honour.
My colleague is reducing
this very complex issue
to nothing more than money.
Mr. Bianchi, of course,
it's about money.
It's a child-support application.
Proceed.
There is a huge financial disparity
between the mother
and the father in this case.
And even if we put that aside,
being a parent comes
with responsibilities.
Mr. Bridger,
I know you want a place
in your daughter's life,
and I commend you for that.
I was estranged from my
father for over 30 years.
He was a lousy parent,
an emotionally-stunted and
unavailable human being.
[IN UNISON] Objection.
But he still managed to send
my mom a cheque every month.
My colleague is bringing
her own emotional baggage into this.
Sustained.
Really, Ms. Bianchi?
Stick to the facts.
Fine. The facts
Mark Bridger became a dad 13 years ago,
so therefore he owes my
client 13 years of child support.
Please. You can only go back three years
from the date the support was requested.
This is a well-known
principle of family law,
which my colleague would be aware of
if she were, in fact, a family lawyer.
I think we can all agree
that these are completely unique
circumstances, Your Honour.
Based on Mark
Bridger's financial records,
and the child-support guidelines,
he would owe approximately
$3,200 per month,
for a total of $499,200.
But we're willing to
round it down to $499,000.
♪
[JUDGE] I'll have my decision tomorrow.
We will reconvene then.
Why is there a child in my courtroom?
- Adjourned.
- [BANGS GAVEL]
With the exception of your
blatant disregard for my authority
and wholly improper asides,
good work.
[LUCY] How are you feeling?
Honestly? Kind of queasy.
[SOFIA] Why are you doing this?
I don't care about the money and stuff.
I just want to know my dad
and you're gonna wreck everything!
Rosie, try to understand.
I hate you!
Another feel-good moment
brought to you by Abigail Bianchi.
Please. I did my job.
It was fascinating,
watching you in there.
Getting all pumped up on endorphins
by your own performance
And completely missing the
point that this isn't about you.
You know, just because
your life's a shit show,
doesn't mean you should
turn other people's
lives into shit shows, too.
♪
Thanks for agreeing to meet.
So [EXHALES]
Working with your dad
Working for my dad, actually.
A small, but significant
prepositional difference.
How's it, uh, been so far?
Oh, it's like having bamboo shoots
stuck up my fingernails.
[LAUGHS]
- You look good.
- I know.
I miss you.
I miss the kids.
I'd really like to come home.
Not yet, Abby.
Well, at least let me see Nico
and Sofia more than twice a week.
I need to know that you're
serious about getting well.
I did my stint in rehab.
I'm seeing a therapist.
I'm going to the A.A. meetings.
Are you going because you
understand you need help?
Or because the Law Society
gave you no other choice?
None of this would've happened
if you hadn't kicked me out of the house
the night before I was
supposed to go to court.
[SIGHING]
Your drinking took over our marriage.
Oh, you can't pin all this on me.
If you hadn't had an affair
with a woman named Felicity
My God, that was one
night at a conference,
and I told you a million times,
I didn't mean for it to happen.
Oh, no, you slipped, right?
And your penis mmph!
Landed in her vagina.
[CUTLERY CLANKING ON TABLES]
Abby
Your drinking was a
problem years before that.
I deeply regret what I did,
but it was a symptom,
not the cause.
The kids are supposed
to come to my mom's
for dinner tomorrow night.
"Kids."
Plural.
I'll do what I can.
I promise.
You, uh you wanted
to talk about the case?
Uh, Harry's delighted.
He thinks it's gonna generate
a lot of money for the firm.
He may not be wrong.
The thing is, I can't
stop thinking about Sofia.
She'll barely speak to me
because of the mess I've made.
I feel like I'm doing the same
thing to Rosie and Jeanette.
I want to run something by you.
[JUDGE] So I've had
time to review everything,
and I've reached my decision.
Permission to address the court?
Proceed.
Our clients have reached a compromise.
We've agreed on the
terms of a consent order,
subject to your approval.
Hmm.
Mr. Bridger has agreed to pay $50,000
in retroactive child support,
payable on terms,
as well as to pay child
support from now on.
And Ms. Gyurkovich has
agreed to a parenting plan,
so that my client and his daughter
can continue to
foster their relationship.
We'll attach it to the consent order.
Both parties are happy
with this arrangement?
That sounds like a
reasonable compromise.
I'll make the order.
- Adjourned.
- [CLACK]
♪
Ms. Bianchi?
Can you approach the bench, please?
Nicely done.
Thank you.
But, for the record
This is a small world,
it's a world in which your father
is well-respected and well-loved.
He gave you a second chance,
Missy, when no one else would,
so if you speak of him again
in court, the way you did the other day,
I will find you in contempt.
That's all.
[MOUTHS WORDS]
♪
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
Where's Craig?
We came up with a temporary
shared-custody agreement.
Mm.
I kind of miss him.
He was the only living
creature in this place
who didn't think I was a, um,
what were the words again?
Oh, yeah "colossal bitch".
You could've made this
firm well over $100,000.
Instead, you made us the
equivalent of a tuna sandwich.
What a dick, am I right?
[LUCY] I should go.
Maggie's making dinner.
Danielle and I have spin class.
♪
I'm here under duress.
Dad threatened to take away her phone
for the weekend if she didn't come.
Did you really do that?
I did.
You monster.
I'll pick them up at 9:00?
[IMITATES EXPLOSION]
Sofia, I got your favourite
Sushi platter.
Well, it's more like
a salmonella platter
at this point, but who cares?
- Not me.
- [SOFIA] I'm not hungry.
I think I'll just go to the den
and do some of my homework.
[JOANNE] You will not!
You will sit. You will eat.
You will do your best to be pleasant,
because if there's one thing
you'll learn as you get older,
it's that we're all a
bunch of screw-ups.
I'm the blade ♪
You're the knife ♪
Okay, so tell me everything.
Sofia,
if you could kill one girl at
your school, who would it be?
Mom.
It's the one girl after school
that I always talk about.
Oh, forget about her!
She's got this ponytail.
She wears lipstick and eyeshadow
In a world That wasn't mine ♪
To take ♪
♪
I'll wait ♪
Is this my life? ♪
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
Am I breathing Underwater? ♪
♪
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
[RINGING]
[RINGING]
[SKATERS THUMPING ON CAR]
[PANICKED HORN HONKING]
[RINGING]
Abigail Bianchi.
[BOB JOHNSON] Where the hell are you?
Our case starts in 10 minutes!
Shit!
Uh sorry.
Car troubles.
We were supposed to meet an hour ago.
Five minutes away.
I hired you because you're
supposed to be the best,
- and now you're
- Sorry! Losing you.
[TEACHER] We are about to witness
our justice system at work
One of the true
cornerstones of democracy.
Mr. Johnson, the clerk has
paged your lawyer twice.
If she isn't here in two more minutes,
I'm dism
[DOOR BANGS OPEN]
I'm here.
Sorry I'm late.
[GALLEY MURMURS]
♪
[JUDGE] No recording
devices in the courtroom, please.
What is wrong with you?
Relax. It's all good.
Uh ahem.
Your Honour, I
[STOMACH RUMBLING]
Excuse me.
[STOMACH RUMBLES]
Are you all right, counsel?
Uh, yeah. Yes.
Your Honour, I
[STOMACH RUMBLING]
♪
my client has, um
suffered a
deep trauma.
- [CROWD GASPING]
- Whoa!
Remove Ms. Bianchi immediately.
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God!
-
- ♪
The Law Society's
terms are quite extensive.
You've completed your
three-month suspension
- as of yesterday.
- Yes.
- [PEN CLICKING REPEATEDLY]
- Did you pay the $3,500 fine?
Yes.
[STOPS CLICKING]
The disciplinary board also requires
proof of regular attendance at
- I know all this.
- A.A. meetings,
plus random breathalyzer tests
- I know.
- and random collection of
I know!
[EMPHATICALLY] urine samples.
And lastly, for the next year,
you can only practice law
under the mentorship of a senior lawyer.
You're welcome.
Those are the law
society's requirements.
These are mine
You will take on only menial tasks.
You will be prompt,
respectful,
and you will be sober.
You will not draw any
unnecessary attention
to yourself or my firm.
If you step out of line,
I will fire you and
you will be disbarred.
Are we done?
Isn't there something
you'd like to say to me first?
Mm, nope. Not that I can think of.
No other lawyer in town would touch you.
Not even your own firm.
What do you want me to say?
How about
"Thank you, Dad"?
After 33 years of
Oh! That is entirely unfair!
[DISPUTE CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
Can you hear what they're saying?
No.
What are you doing?
She's here.
Okay, that only works in movies.
You seen her yet?
Did you read about her
case in the disciplinary digest?
In gory detail, and
watched it on YouTube.
He's making an epic mistake.
She's his daughter. What
else was he supposed to do?
What he's done for decades.
Act like she doesn't exist.
- Oh, Daniel!
- Ahem!
Everyone, this is Abigail Bianchi.
Abigail, you remember
Jerri, our office manager.
[JERRI] Ohh!
Last time I saw you,
you were knee-high to a grasshopper!
Last time I saw you, you had a beard.
Ahh.
Cecile working towards
becoming a paralegal.
Actually, sir, it's "Cecil".
And Daniel and Lucy Svensson
Your brother
and sister.
[POP! FIZZING]
["UH-OH" BY JEREMY FISHER PLAYS]
♪
You can't prove it ♪
Uh-oh ♪
You got nothing legit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
The glove don't fit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
You gotta acquit ♪
Uh-oh ♪
The charges won't stick 'cos ♪
I ain't no sucker ♪
Ain't your lollipop but ♪
You can kiss my sweet ♪
Uh-huh ♪
Never gonna stop
Never gonna stop ♪
Never gonna stop
Never gonna stop ♪
You can't prove it ♪
Uh-oh ♪
I am so sorry.
I had no idea Abigail
Bianchi was your sister.
♪
Man
Harry was prolific.
Three kids from three different mothers?
Hey
this means you're not
the oldest kid anymore.
You're the middle child, like me.
Take this to the drycleaners.
Um, I'm not supposed to
do your personal errands.
♪
[GALLEY GROANING AND GASPING]
So did you draw the short straw,
or are you the firm's
official tour guide?
No, I was I've actually been
looking forward to meeting
you for a really long time.
Oh. Sure.
Well, Harry does the
bulk of the litigation.
Daniel does mostly collaborative.
So, not real law.
I I have office
space across the hall.
- You're a psychologist, is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
Grades weren't good
enough to get into law school?
Lucy got her Ph.D. from Stanford.
Harry paid for you to go to Stanford?
Uh, there's the kitchen
Yeah. Until this morning,
it was always stocked
with beer for Fridays at 5:00.
And that's the photocopier.
And here we are, at yours.
We're tight for space.
And your arrival was
Unexpected.
Family law sourcebook.
For your reading pleasure.
Who's my legal assistant?
[CHUCKLES]
Good one.
♪
[JERRI] Lucy?
This young lady wants to see you.
Says she's your neighbour.
Rosie.
What are you doing here?
You said you did work
for lawyers sometimes,
and I need a lawyer.
What for?
I want to take my mom to court.
So what's up?
You and your mom seem pretty tight.
We were.
I want to know who my dad is,
and she won't tell me.
[BOOK THUDS]
Sorry.
My office smells like farts.
[ROSIE GIGGLES]
So, you don't know who your dad is?
I know she used a, you know,
donor, but she won't tell me where
the, you know, "donation" came from.
Well, even if she did, a sperm bank
Sorry, a "you know" bank,
would be under no obligation
to disclose the identity of the donor.
Donors have confidentiality rights.
I thought your specialty
was personal injury.
My husband's in family law.
You're a lawyer?
Guilty as charged.
[ROSIE] Maybe you could help me.
Maybe we should take this to my office.
Nah! Let's stay here.
[CHAIRS CLATTER]
Ahem.
Why has this become important to you?
We've been doing our
family trees at school,
and one whole side of my
family is just a big, fat blank.
- [SPRINKLES CRUNCHING]
- Like, what if I have
some genetic flaw that I
could pass on to my kids?
Or what if I, like, marry
someone who's related to me?
Mm. Like the royal family.
You could have kids with flat foreheads.
Exactly!
Like, how come I'm left-handed?
And how come I can
sing, but my mom can't?
Mm, your mom needs to
tell you what she knows.
I can't stand my dad, but
at least I know who he is.
[POINTEDLY] Thank you, Abigail.
I can see how difficult this is for you.
Maybe, as a next step,
I can try talking to your mom.
That would be awesome.
And you could come, too.
Abigail has a lot of work to do.
Nope. No, I don't.
Count me in.
♪
I want full custody. End of story.
That is ridiculous, and you know it.
Know what else is ridiculous?
You having sex with my best friend!
Okay. Okay.
I understand emotions are running high,
but we agreed that, if I
was to arbitrate for you,
you needed to put Craig first.
Which is why I want full custody.
Craig has a lot of special needs.
He does not!
You've just projected your
own insecurities onto him.
He is so much more
relaxed when he's with me.
Right, Craigy? Boy?
Right, Craig?
Look at Mommy.
Boy. Craig!
- Hey.
- Craig.
[CRAIG WHIMPERS]
[JEANETTE] I just don't understand
why it's so important
to her all of a sudden.
Jeanette, Rosie's 13.
This is all about her
finding her identity.
It's not something
that's going to go away.
If anything, the feelings
are only gonna intensify.
It's just
It's embarrassing.
No one's judging you, Jeanette.
I always wanted kids,
and when I turned
35 and was still single,
I went to a sperm bank,
but it was more than I could afford,
so I put an ad on Craigslist.
[ABIGAIL LAUGHS]
Are you serious?
Abigail, please.
No judgment.
I offered $100, a lot of guys responded.
Most of them were creeps.
Yeah, duh.
But there was this one
guy who sounded nice.
We met up, one thing led to another,
and I wound up getting
pregnant the conventional way.
But it was just one night.
When I woke up, he was gone.
I never even had a chance to pay him,
and I never saw him again.
Did you get a name?
Mark. That's all.
He worked in construction.
Why not share this story with Rosie?
She can handle it.
Did Mark have any defining features?
He was tall.
Nice smile.
He had a tattoo on his forearm
A tortoise.
Said it reminded him that
"slow and steady wins the race."
Well, I can find him.
Easy-peasy.
You shouldn't get
their hopes up like that.
It's all good.
I know a guy who can track
him down in a nanosecond.
Well, even if you do find him,
what if he wants
nothing to do with Rosie?
Or what if he's a jerk?
Well, then she'll learn a
valuable lesson early on
Men are disappointments.
Do you really hate Dad that much?
I don't hate him.
I have no feelings for him whatsoever.
When did he
Walk out on us without
a backward glance,
after he'd knocked up Daniel's mom?
When I was seven.
That must've been really hard.
I guess he learned some
lessons by the time he had me.
Dad raised me on his own when Mom died.
Well Dad and a full-time nanny.
How old were you when she passed away?
Eight.
He would've left her, too.
If your mom hadn't died.
He would've left her, too.
Bitch.
♪
How was your first day at school?
Ha, ha.
Okay
Dish.
How old does your father look?
Fine. Old.
Older than me?
By a decade.
I always told him,
"stay out of the sun,"
but would he listen?
Mom, do you have to?
Sorry, darling.
My house, my rules.
What about your
rainbow-coloured siblings?
Uh, seriously, Mom?
Not exactly a warm and fuzzy reunion.
They don't want me there.
I don't want me there either.
So you made a mistake.
We all do.
Look at me, I married your father.
You'll get through this.
You're a fighter,
like your mother.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
Oh. Okay, make yourself scarce.
I don't want to have to explain my
40-year-old boomerang
kid on a first date.
Go, hurry up. Now.
Okay.
[NICO] You'll never guess
what happened at school today.
Mm
A meteor fell from the sky
and crushed your principal?
No. We played baseball in
gym, and I wasn't picked last.
Just third-last.
Wow. Nico, way to go.
Yeah, that's progress.
Hey, um, can I talk to your sister?
Sofia, it's Mom.
[HUSHED] Tell her I'm not here.
But she knows you're here.
[SOFIA] Don't care.
Sofia's not here.
Okay.
Well, if you see her,
tell her I love her.
Almost as much as I love you.
I love you, too, Mom.
Please come home soon.
I'll do my best, kiddo.
I'm gonna see you Wednesday.
Okay?
- [BLOWS KISSES]
- See you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
[NOTIFICATION ALERT DINGS]
-
- ♪
[WOMAN] It wasn't until I had passed out
while I was looking after my grandson
that I realized I needed help.
I've been one year sober now
and my daughter
is finally starting to
trust me with him again.
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
Abigail?
Would you like to share?
I'm good.
Hi.
Uh, my name is Abigail.
[ATTENDEES] Hi, Abigail.
And I'm a
schm-alcoholic.
Did you just say "schm-alcoholic"?
What? No.
[PHONE STARTS BUZZING]
Uh, this is a no-phone zone.
Sorry. Excuse me.
Uh, um
Hi.
Great.
East Hastings?
You're a peach, Eli.
[BEEP]
Hi. My name's Zoey. I'm an alcoholic.
[TATTOOIST] Normally, I never
remember who gets what,
and sure as hell not from 14 years ago,
but that was the first
and last tortoise I inked.
And the guy left an impression.
How so?
Am I glimpsing a tattoo on your
How so?
Uh, he paid in trade.
Built me a nice little shed.
You know, after your guy called,
I dug out my records.
Question is
What are you gonna give me in exchange?
[CHUCKLES]
I did my own research before I came in.
One of your clients
is pursuing legal action against you
because instead of giving her
a "Proud Vegetarian" tattoo,
you inked "Proud Vagetarian."
What's it to ya?
You hear about that guy last year
who spilled hot coffee
in his lap while driving?
And texting?
And trying to pull the
lid off with his teeth?
Yeah, the moron sued
and got, like, millions.
I was that moron's lawyer.
Should you need it,
I'll give you one hour of legal advice.
Hmm.
Pro bono.
♪
[LUCY] Thank you.
Abby!
Abby, this is a terrible idea.
Why? I just wanna tell
him the happy news.
It's an ambush.
Why don't we set a
meeting up at the office?
Where's the fun in that?
So it goes a little Jerry
Springer, so what?
I can't believe you found him.
He still works construction?
Uh, you could say that.
That would be "Mark Bridger."
Oh, my god. That's him.
Wait here.
Mark Bridger?
Can I help you?
My name is Abigail Bianchi.
I'm a lawyer.
You answered my client's
ad about 14 years ago,
on Craigslist.
Your, uh
"donation" yielded results.
Congratulations.
You're a father.
Uh, can you excuse me a moment?
♪
You ambushed Mark Bridger?
I did not ambush him, okay?
That's Little Miss Tattle-Tale's
dramatic overstatement of the facts.
Maybe stunts like that
worked at your old firm.
Would everybody just relax?
Jeanette and Rosie aren't even clients.
I merely did them a favour.
Jeanette may not be paying the firm,
but you definitely gave the impression
to them and Mark Bridger
that you're their lawyer.
I bet you were real popular in school.
[HARRY] Your brother
and sister are right.
A guy like Bridger wields
a lot of influence in this city.
Although, heh, I'd have paid good money
to see him do a runner
when you told him the news.
Almost did the same when
your mom said she was pregnant.
[KIDS] Which mom?
All of them.
Could someone please explain that?
[DANIEL] Arbitration I'm doing.
Until we come up with
a custody arrangement,
they want Craig to
stay with a neutral party.
"Custody"?
Dogs are not people, Daniel.
They're property.
Try telling them that.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
- [CRAIG HUFFS]
Mark Bridger's here to see you.
[HARRY] Oh, give me
10 minutes to change.
I'll see him in the boardroom.
Actually, he requested Abigail.
Oh.
♪
Mr. Bridger, Harry Svensson.
I-I want to apologize
for the behavior of our new, um
Junior associate.
I'm the one who should apologize.
I shouldn't have taken off like that.
The news was
Overwhelming.
I didn't think children
were in the cards, so
To find out I have a daughter
If she's willing, I'd like to meet her.
Oh, I'm sure that can be arranged.
Isn't that right, Abigail?
Absolutely, Harry.
♪
You didn't really need to come.
After seeing how you
operate, I felt I really did.
♪
Hi, Rosie.
Hi.
Hello, Mark.
Uh this is Yvonne. My wife.
Yvonne, this is Rosie.
[YVONNE] Delighted to meet you, Rosie.
It's nice to meet you, too.
And you must be Jeanette.
Mark and I haven't been
blessed with children of our own.
To find out I have a daughter
[YVONNE] It's a gift.
- She has your eyes.
- Yeah.
Do you like chocolate-chip cookies, too?
[MARK] Do I!
Uh, three milkshakes to start,
please, one vanilla, two chocolate.
♪
Mom!
Nico!
Hey.
Hey, guess what I learned today.
- What?
- I bet you didn't know
that female praying
mantises eat their mates.
I did not know that,
but I am delighted,
mildly perturbed to find out.
So Dad says you're
working for your dad now.
Uh, temporarily, yes.
But you said your dad was dead.
Um, no. I didn't say that.
What I said was, he was dead to me.
So, if he's your dad, that
makes him my grandpa.
Biologically speaking, yes.
Sweetpea, where's Sofia?
She said she had too much homework.
She did, did she?
Well, lucky duck, it looks
like you're gonna have to finish
two milkshakes.
Why don't you get started
and I'm gonna be right back?
Okay?
[CELL PHONE SPEED-DIALS]
I have a right to see my daughter.
[FRANK] I agree, and I did my best,
but I can't force her to come.
Yes, you can!
I hardly get to see them as it is,
thanks to you.
No, Abby. Thanks to you.
Don't you pin all this on me, Frank.
I'm not the one who cheated.
Hanging up now.
You're lucky I'm not a praying mantis!
[BEEP]
♪
[FOOTSTEPS]
[KNOCKS]
Jeanette Gyurkovich is here to see you.
Do you have a moment?
I got nothing but moments.
How you doing?
I've, uh, been better.
You?
Eleanor and I just celebrated
our 30th wedding anniversary.
Congratulations.
My point is
If our marriage could survive this
Yours can weather the
storm, too, if you work at it.
You, I've missed.
♪
Conference table.
Thank you.
How are things with Rosie and Mark?
And Yvonne.
Don't forget Yvonne.
[CHUCKLING]
Great.
Fabulously, wonderfully great.
You're feeling like the third wheel?
I know that I should be happy for Rosie.
But, yesterday,
they bought her a brand-new iPhone.
And Yvonne took her
shopping for new clothes
without even asking me.
She must have spent $1,000.
I wish that I could
buy her stuff like that.
But you could never afford it.
On my salary?
Not in a million years.
And then
Last night,
Rosie announces
that Mark and Yvonne
are giving her her own
room in their house,
and she wants to stay
there every other week.
You feel like you're
losing your daughter.
When you were the one who
was up with her every night
when she was a baby,
who took care of her
through every illness,
every scraped knee
Who went to every soccer
game in the pouring rain
She doesn't play soccer.
Work with me here.
What I'm saying is, you're her mother.
And Mark and his wife
swoop in and act like
they can take over,
like you're not a vital
part of your kids' lives.
"Kid." Singular.
Where does that leave you?
♪
- [KNOCKS]
- Yes.
I know you don't want
me taking on cases yet.
Correct.
But I think I've got a good one.
One that could generate some
decent income for the firm.
Proceed.
I want to sue Mark Bridger
For 13 years of
retroactive child support.
♪
[LUCY] I've given it a lot of thought.
It's not a good idea.
Why? Why is it not a good idea?
Because you could ruin
a relationship that's just started.
It's a fragile emotional situation.
"Blah, blah, blah, emotions."
Let the lawyers talk law
for a moment, will you?
[LUCY] You are a textbook bully.
"Bully"?
- What are we, in kindergarten?
- [HARRY] Stop it.
You're all acting like
you're in kindergarten.
[CRAIG PANTING]
Abigail, why do you
want to go this route?
First of all, there are precedents.
A lesbian couple in the U.S.
used a sperm donor they found online.
They split up when the child was small.
The biological mom
applied for social assistance.
When the state found
out she'd used a donor,
they sued him.
He was forced to pay child support
so the state wouldn't have to.
Did Bridger sign any
paperwork all those years ago?
Anything that absolves
him of financial obligations?
Nope. Nothing.
Mark Bridger has deep pockets
and Jeanette has nothing.
We have a moral
obligation to represent her.
[LUCY SNICKERS]
Can we at least not pretend
that this has anything
to do with your morals?
Daniel, what do you think?
If we move forward with this,
balls will shrivel around the nation.
But the law's on our side.
This could also make
the firm a lot of money.
We treat this like a
personal injury case.
She can give us 33% of
the settlement I get for her.
What you get for her?
No. No, Harry or I will
take the lead on this.
[ABIGAIL] No, you will not.
This is my case.
You're on probation.
You don't know family law.
A monkey could do family law.
Craig could do family law.
- Forget it!
- I can do this.
I'll be lead counsel.
You'll be my junior.
She knows the backstory better than you.
You do all the work,
I do all the talking in court.
♪
Cecil, take Craig out for a pee.
I'm really more of a cat person.
[SNAPS] Cecil!
♪
[LUCY] I don't know
what I expected with Abby,
but it wasn't this.
I mean, I knew it wasn't gonna
be sunshine and rainbows,
but I didn't think she'd
be such a colossal bitch.
[DANIEL] You said it, not me.
She's a ticking timebomb,
and if she goes off around
us, we will be collateral damage.
[APPLE CRUNCHING]
I don't know what the hell
Dad expected would happen,
just dropping her
in our lives like this.
[LUCY] Yeah.
To think, when I was little,
I always wanted a sister.
Now I'm just counting down
the hours till the weekend
so I don't have to see her face.
[DANIEL] Mm-hmm.
♪
[GALLEY GASPING AND CRYING OUT]
[JUDGE] Remove Ms. Bianchi immediately.
[BOB] Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God!
[JOANNE] Yoo-hoo, I'm home.
Ugh, that man.
Patchouli oil
is not a replacement for deodorant.
And he had food stuck in his beard.
Oh, it was like a squirrel
storing snacks for the winter.
Why'd you go out with him?
Because he owns an island.
Right, you're in court tomorrow.
Honey, I'm sure it's like riding a bike.
Yeah, except the
last time I rode a bike,
I puked all over my client.
Oh.
♪
Good morning.
Shall we?
♪
♪
[INDISTINCT EXCHANGE]
♪
After you.
[QUIET BACKGROUND CHATTER]
- Good morning.
- Hi.
This was your plan all along, wasn't it?
Find me, lure me in, make me pay.
- That's not true.
- [HARRY] Take your seat, Mr. Bridger.
You shouldn't be talking to
us without your lawyer present.
Oh, my lawyer will be here very soon.
I found a good one.
In fact, strange coincidence
He has the same last name as you.
♪
Is this going to be a problem?
Do you know him?
You could say that.
He's my husband.
Uh-oh ♪
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Bridger hired me.
- Yeah, to get back at me!
- Abigail, sit down.
♪
All rise for Judge Fraiberg.
When you answered
Ms. Gyurkovich's ad on Craigslist,
was it clear she simply
wanted a sperm donor?
Yes, it was.
In fact, it read
"Sperm donor wanted.
"Must be healthy, educated, and fit.
"Will pay $100.
"Donor will have no financial
or parental obligations."
Madame Justice,
my colleague and his
client are simply trying
to cash in on my
client's new-found wealth.
Counsel rests.
Mark Bridger,
when did you become a father?
Two weeks ago.
No.
You became a father the
moment Rosie was born.
Objection.
He had no idea he was a father.
Overruled.
When you and Ms. Gyurkovich
had sexual intercourse,
you knew she wanted to get pregnant.
The ad said "no financial obligations".
It also said "no parental obligations,"
yet here you are,
spending all this time
with your daughter.
And Jeanette isn't stopping you.
In fact,
she understands it's a good thing
for her daughter to have a
relationship with her father.
And I'm grateful for that.
And yet your gratitude
doesn't extend to your pocketbook.
Don't you think Jeanette
deserves something
for raising your child
after all these years?
You think you can just waltz in now
and have everything be on your terms?
Objection, Your Honour.
My colleague is reducing
this very complex issue
to nothing more than money.
Mr. Bianchi, of course,
it's about money.
It's a child-support application.
Proceed.
There is a huge financial disparity
between the mother
and the father in this case.
And even if we put that aside,
being a parent comes
with responsibilities.
Mr. Bridger,
I know you want a place
in your daughter's life,
and I commend you for that.
I was estranged from my
father for over 30 years.
He was a lousy parent,
an emotionally-stunted and
unavailable human being.
[IN UNISON] Objection.
But he still managed to send
my mom a cheque every month.
My colleague is bringing
her own emotional baggage into this.
Sustained.
Really, Ms. Bianchi?
Stick to the facts.
Fine. The facts
Mark Bridger became a dad 13 years ago,
so therefore he owes my
client 13 years of child support.
Please. You can only go back three years
from the date the support was requested.
This is a well-known
principle of family law,
which my colleague would be aware of
if she were, in fact, a family lawyer.
I think we can all agree
that these are completely unique
circumstances, Your Honour.
Based on Mark
Bridger's financial records,
and the child-support guidelines,
he would owe approximately
$3,200 per month,
for a total of $499,200.
But we're willing to
round it down to $499,000.
♪
[JUDGE] I'll have my decision tomorrow.
We will reconvene then.
Why is there a child in my courtroom?
- Adjourned.
- [BANGS GAVEL]
With the exception of your
blatant disregard for my authority
and wholly improper asides,
good work.
[LUCY] How are you feeling?
Honestly? Kind of queasy.
[SOFIA] Why are you doing this?
I don't care about the money and stuff.
I just want to know my dad
and you're gonna wreck everything!
Rosie, try to understand.
I hate you!
Another feel-good moment
brought to you by Abigail Bianchi.
Please. I did my job.
It was fascinating,
watching you in there.
Getting all pumped up on endorphins
by your own performance
And completely missing the
point that this isn't about you.
You know, just because
your life's a shit show,
doesn't mean you should
turn other people's
lives into shit shows, too.
♪
Thanks for agreeing to meet.
So [EXHALES]
Working with your dad
Working for my dad, actually.
A small, but significant
prepositional difference.
How's it, uh, been so far?
Oh, it's like having bamboo shoots
stuck up my fingernails.
[LAUGHS]
- You look good.
- I know.
I miss you.
I miss the kids.
I'd really like to come home.
Not yet, Abby.
Well, at least let me see Nico
and Sofia more than twice a week.
I need to know that you're
serious about getting well.
I did my stint in rehab.
I'm seeing a therapist.
I'm going to the A.A. meetings.
Are you going because you
understand you need help?
Or because the Law Society
gave you no other choice?
None of this would've happened
if you hadn't kicked me out of the house
the night before I was
supposed to go to court.
[SIGHING]
Your drinking took over our marriage.
Oh, you can't pin all this on me.
If you hadn't had an affair
with a woman named Felicity
My God, that was one
night at a conference,
and I told you a million times,
I didn't mean for it to happen.
Oh, no, you slipped, right?
And your penis mmph!
Landed in her vagina.
[CUTLERY CLANKING ON TABLES]
Abby
Your drinking was a
problem years before that.
I deeply regret what I did,
but it was a symptom,
not the cause.
The kids are supposed
to come to my mom's
for dinner tomorrow night.
"Kids."
Plural.
I'll do what I can.
I promise.
You, uh you wanted
to talk about the case?
Uh, Harry's delighted.
He thinks it's gonna generate
a lot of money for the firm.
He may not be wrong.
The thing is, I can't
stop thinking about Sofia.
She'll barely speak to me
because of the mess I've made.
I feel like I'm doing the same
thing to Rosie and Jeanette.
I want to run something by you.
[JUDGE] So I've had
time to review everything,
and I've reached my decision.
Permission to address the court?
Proceed.
Our clients have reached a compromise.
We've agreed on the
terms of a consent order,
subject to your approval.
Hmm.
Mr. Bridger has agreed to pay $50,000
in retroactive child support,
payable on terms,
as well as to pay child
support from now on.
And Ms. Gyurkovich has
agreed to a parenting plan,
so that my client and his daughter
can continue to
foster their relationship.
We'll attach it to the consent order.
Both parties are happy
with this arrangement?
That sounds like a
reasonable compromise.
I'll make the order.
- Adjourned.
- [CLACK]
♪
Ms. Bianchi?
Can you approach the bench, please?
Nicely done.
Thank you.
But, for the record
This is a small world,
it's a world in which your father
is well-respected and well-loved.
He gave you a second chance,
Missy, when no one else would,
so if you speak of him again
in court, the way you did the other day,
I will find you in contempt.
That's all.
[MOUTHS WORDS]
♪
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
Where's Craig?
We came up with a temporary
shared-custody agreement.
Mm.
I kind of miss him.
He was the only living
creature in this place
who didn't think I was a, um,
what were the words again?
Oh, yeah "colossal bitch".
You could've made this
firm well over $100,000.
Instead, you made us the
equivalent of a tuna sandwich.
What a dick, am I right?
[LUCY] I should go.
Maggie's making dinner.
Danielle and I have spin class.
♪
I'm here under duress.
Dad threatened to take away her phone
for the weekend if she didn't come.
Did you really do that?
I did.
You monster.
I'll pick them up at 9:00?
[IMITATES EXPLOSION]
Sofia, I got your favourite
Sushi platter.
Well, it's more like
a salmonella platter
at this point, but who cares?
- Not me.
- [SOFIA] I'm not hungry.
I think I'll just go to the den
and do some of my homework.
[JOANNE] You will not!
You will sit. You will eat.
You will do your best to be pleasant,
because if there's one thing
you'll learn as you get older,
it's that we're all a
bunch of screw-ups.
I'm the blade ♪
You're the knife ♪
Okay, so tell me everything.
Sofia,
if you could kill one girl at
your school, who would it be?
Mom.
It's the one girl after school
that I always talk about.
Oh, forget about her!
She's got this ponytail.
She wears lipstick and eyeshadow
In a world That wasn't mine ♪
To take ♪
♪
I'll wait ♪
Is this my life? ♪
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
Am I breathing Underwater? ♪