Mating Season (2026) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[soothing acoustic guitar playing]
[soothing music continues]
[bear yawns]
Oh, good golly, Miss Molly.
That is how you hibernate!
Whew! Time to drain the lizard.
-[urinating]
-[laughing] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, man!
That first post-hibernation pee,
right, babe? Ooh-ee! Babe?
Olivia? Where are you?
Oh shit! Oh, I'm peeing on things!
Olivia? Liv?
-Oh! Jesus, Ray!
-[Ray] Hey, buddy.
-[Ray] We're animals! This is what we do!
-Yeah, don't make it weird, dude.
Oh, I'm sorry!
No, I didn't mean to shame anyone!
I just like to do it in the dark.
Like, in a cave or behind a rock.
-[animals moaning loudly]
-Oh, thank God, he's climaxing.
Oh, and her too! That's nice.
-Simultaneous O's!
-Ah! Good shit.
-She's great, right?
-Yeah, she seemed vigorous.
-Um, Ray, have you seen Olivia?
-Right! Yeah, Olivia. [laughs nervously]
What? What's wrong?
You know you overslept
by like two weeks, right?
-I did?
-Yeah, and Olivia… she gone.
She gone? She gone where?
She's with this new bear,
this big motherfucker named Carson.
What? How could she leave me?
It's mating season!
Yeah, I know.
-Everyone's coupling up big time.
-[animals copulating loudly]
[rabbit yelling] I'm gonna put
10 to 15 babies in you!
Now, I'm not sure how we're gonna
make this work physically,
but God damn it, Keith, I love you.
Well, maybe love is enough.
Oh God! I'm all alone!
-[sobbing]
-I'm sorry, buddy.
Well, I'm gonna go wash my dick
with my tiny little raccoon hands.
["Fooled Around and Fell In Love"
by Elvin Bishop playing]
Fooled around and fell in love ♪
I fooled around and fell in love ♪
I fooled around and fell in love ♪
Fooled around and fell in love ♪
[song fading]
Sheila was a doe, a deer, a female deer,
taken from us tragically before her time.
She is survived by her loving husband,
Alan, and their daughter, Flern.
It's Fawn!
That's my bad.
In the forest,
life is tenuous, and names are tricky.
[quietly] By the way,
I'm so sorry about Olivia.
[whispers] Am I the only one
who didn't know?
-You really overslept!
-I'm aware!
-You should have woken up earlier, dude!
-Oh, thank you, Penelope.
How's Fawn doing?
How do you think? Her mother was killed
by a frickin' hunter! She's like Bambi.
-Uh, well, Bambi was a child.
-I mean…
-And he witnessed the murder.
-That's serious trauma.
Yeah, and it clearly
affected him as an adult.
Well, yeah, Bambi was for sure damaged.
That said, what he did
to those squirrels was inexcusable.
Of course.
-He fully molested those squirrels.
-He fully did.
But then I'm like
those parents should have never let
those little squirrel kids
stay at his ranch.
Ugh! Don't even get me started
on those parents.
I did a pottery class with your mother.
She had the steadiest hooves.
Aw! Thank you for sharing that.
Fawny, babe, this is so awful.
Those goddamn hunters.
Spraying your mom's brains
all over the forest! It's--
-Too graphic.
-It's just… It's tragic, and we love you.
Honestly, guys, all I can think about
right now is my father.
Oof, he must be devastated.
Yeah, so devastated
he brought a date to his wife's funeral.
-Bold move.
-Yep.
-And this doe, she is like half his age.
-Yikes.
It looks like he adopted a rescue.
Oh, here they come. Wow, she is young.
-Hey, honey.
-Ugh. Don't "Hey, honey" me.
How could you bring a date
to Mom's funeral?
Hi! I'm Cassie.
I am so sorry about your mother.
-Nope!
-Now, sweetheart, I know it feels soon…
Mom's literally still being eaten.
Pfft! Ugh! I got a bullet.
[hacking]
Your mother, well,
she would want me to be happy.
No, she wouldn't.
Your happiness was never Mom's priority.
-Oh my goodness.
-What?
Is that Charles Ruly?
-Who cares?
-He went to college with your mom.
Sweetheart, excuse me, I…
I should thank him for coming.
-Charles, it's been too long!
-Alan, I have no words.
Ugh!
Oh! He's cute.
All due respect, Cassie, you seem… fine.
Aw, thank you!
But what the hell
do you see in my dusty old dad?
-Honestly, I love dating older stags.
-Really?
-Why?
-Yeah, why?
-'Cause younger males suck!
-Hey!
They can't pay for dinner
and they're not even remotely dependable
or like emotionally evolved.
-They're pathetic.
-Oh God! Is that why Olivia left me?
-Of course not!
-[Fawn] Almost certainly.
-I mean, you guys do suck.
-Excuse you!
He's a whimpering mess,
and you have some major mommy issues.
What are you talking about?
I have the best
and prettiest mommy in the world!
She tried to eat you.
-That's what raccoons do!
-Eh, still.
Hey, my mother is a saint!
She brought me into this world,
and she has
every right to take me out of it!
Okay!
To my father and Cassie,
may they both get rabies.
Hey, I know you're hurting right now,
Fawn, but that's not so funny.
I've actually lost
a lot of friends to rabies.
-Oh, no. I'm sorry.
-Yeah. Rabies is our AIDS.
Also, feline AIDS is our AIDS.
-Oh God. There she is.
-Who?
-[Fawn] Oh, Olivia.
-And Carson.
-Oh, they're so cute together.
-What?
I mean…
No, no, no, what I meant to say was,
I bet all they do
is have crazy good, sloppy sex?
That's it. I'm going to go over there
and get in his face.
-Whoa, bad idea.
-Yeah, don't bother them.
-Disagree. Always bother.
-Yeah, I'm gonna go bother.
Good boy. Good boy.
-[laughs] You get it.
-Um, hi.
Olivia, can we talk?
Oh, uh, Carson, this is Josh.
Ah, Mr. Sleepy Bear!
Olivia's told me all about you.
-Well, she's told me nothing about you!
-Josh, please.
No! No, no! Olivia, please.
Whoa. Dude, you need to calm down.
Oh… he's a big boy.
-It's okay, babe.
-"Babe"? You gave him my nickname?
Josh, what do you want?
-I don't know, maybe an explanation?
-You overslept.
That's it? I'll…
I'll set an alarm next time.
That's not the point.
You overslept on life.
-But--
-You're not a serious bear.
But we were so happy.
Mmm, no, we were just existing.
I'm pretty sure I was happy.
-Yeah, no, you weren't.
-I wasn't?
Now that I'm with Carson,
I know what true happiness is.
-And the sex is amazing.
-Oh God.
And that's what I wish for you some day.
[crying] But I don't want true happiness
or good sex.
They don't interest me.
I want you back. Please.
-This is hard to watch.
-Yeah.
-[Josh sobbing] I'll do anything!
-He goes from zero to beg so fast.
-[dance music playing]
-Hello! What do we have here?
This is my jam!
Ho-ho! Drunk and dancing on a table?
What is this, my quinceañera?
Please, ma'am. Please come down.
You're not understanding me.
This is my jam!
-[music continues]
-Really? That's what you're into?
Hell yeah! I love a skanky skunk.
Oh, stinky angel! Hey, this is my jam too!
-Whoo!
-[butterfly] Hey, sexy ladies.
-You need anything?
-Sure! I need everything.
I need a shower.
I need a hug. I need a girlfriend.
-[laughs] I'm gay!
-Okay, you're hilarious.
-Yeah, I think we're good on drinks.
-[butterfly] Groovy. Bye, Penelope.
Oh my God, I flirted. How was it?
-Really bad.
-Oh, shit!
Just ask her out already.
She obviously likes you.
What? No, she does not.
You don't give yourself enough credit.
You're a fox.
I mean, technically, in terms of my genus,
but I have no cunning.
I have no game. I don't even know
what good game looks like.
Excuse me, I'm… I'm so sorry to interrupt.
-I'm--
-Charles Ruly, I know.
I just wanted to offer my condolences.
I truly adored your mother.
-She was a beautiful spirit.
-Oh, thank you.
I see a great deal of her in you.
Same eyes, so intelligent, so… far apart.
Mom always said they were good
for spotting predators.
Well, if you ever want
to share remembrances
or just eat a bunch of grass,
I'm here for you.
That actually sounds really lovely.
Thank you, Charles.
-Ciao.
-Ciao.
Oh, that's what good game looks like.
[laughs] What? No, he was just being nice.
If you say so!
Although, maybe Cassie's right.
Maybe there is something
to dating older stags.
Oh, you like that old guy,
you little doe-ho.
I'm just saying, young guys do suck!
[sobbing] I can be different, please!
-Yeah, twerk that tail, baby!
-Whoo-hoo!
Have you considered lesbianism?
[both growling suggestively]
-Oh, you gonna spray me?
-You like that, you little freak?
Yeah, express your anal glands
all over my goddamn pelt.
[moaning]
Oh, shit!
You dirty bitch.
I fucking stink!
-Get in me, Ray! Get in me!
-[chitters]
-[both moaning]
That was amazing.
[laughs] I splurted real good.
[skunk] Mm.
Now, I'm gonna go get
a drink of water and respectfully
wash your stink off of me.
[laughing] Yeah,
that's that skunk funk, baby.
[both laughing]
-What the heck?
-[laughs] Oh! Look at that!
-We got ourselves a copulatory tie here.
-A copula-what now?
-A copulatory tie.
-What's going on?
-So the tip of your penis is swollen.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-And my vagina muscles are tightened up.
-Right! Right!
[laughs nervously]
Well, I don't want that anymore.
So if you could untighten your vagina…
Well, why don't you unswollen your penis?
Oh! Are you…
So you're saying that this is my fault?
-Stop tugging! You're making this worse!
-Oh, damn my girth!
Oh, Jesus. Moving back in with my parents.
-This is bleak.
-Hey, hey, hey! No shame!
Lots of animals our age are doing this.
She's right, honey.
In many cultures, the cubs sleep
with their parents well into adulthood.
Is that where we're headed, Ellen?
A family bed with our adult son?
No, Papa, this is just temporary
until I get Olivia back.
Kid, I love you, but she has moved on.
Ooh! And that Carson is a real catch.
-I'm sorry, does she have to be here?
-Unfortunately, yes.
-Yeah, I'm not happy about it either.
-Oh, I think you are!
Okay, what…
What exactly is so great about Carson?
-Well, he's handsome.
-Successful.
He's massive.
He's, like, built,
but not in that off-putting way.
It's lean muscle.
Okay. All right. I get it.
He's a big boy, but he's not that big.
-I could take him.
-Yes, you could, my sweet little Joshy.
He absolutely could not.
You know, I have, I have…
I have rage on my side.
I'm determined to show Olivia
that I'm a real bear. I am a serious bear.
Okay, yes, I like this Josh.
-I'm so angry right now, I could spit.
-Yeah, I like the passion.
Yeah, I don't see it.
Oh my God, let go of my dink.
Let go… You shrink your dink!
-Oh, I wish I could shrink my dink.
-Guys. Guys.
Is it possible that maybe
this is all in your heads?
-And maybe you want to be stuck together?
-That is absurd.
Yeah, I'm done with sex.
I want to be done with him!
Exactly. I keep pooping into her butt.
Which I do not care for.
-So, Fawn, how are you holding up?
-I'm good.
I mean, I'm bad, obviously.
My mother's dead, but I'm okay.
Those bastard humans, they really
do get off on shooting us, don't they?
I know, right?
Every time I hear a twig snap,
I'm like, "Is this it?"
Life is so tenuous.
As the Dalai Lama,
who is, of course, a llama, once said,
"The forest feeds the deer,
who in turn feeds the forest."
Wow.
It's so nice to be with someone
who quotes things.
[laughs] I love to quote.
Guys my age are idiots.
They just want to bang their heads
into each other to assert dominance.
Ah, they're just scared.
I was the same way
when I was a young buck.
-Really?
-Yeah. Yeah, I was lost.
I was insecure, unsure of my place
in this topsy-turvy forest.
Charles, you are so evolved.
Ah, I've had a buck-load of therapy.
Yeah, I bet you have.
No! I… I shouldn't!
You're in mourning.
I don't want to take advantage.
You're not taking advantage.
I'm a grown doe, and I really like you.
Oh, I really like you too.
[romantic music playing]
-All right, Josh, you ready, buddy?
-No, I don't know, Ray.
Don't be scared, okay?
You're you. You're Josh.
-Yeah.
-And I'm Carson, okay? Come at me!
-No, but, Ray--
-What?
You're very small relative to me,
so I don't…
Buddy, I'm telling you,
you are not gonna hurt me.
I don't know.
-He's fucking scared.
-No, I'm not scared!
-Let's see it then. Come on.
-But it takes…
-Come on, you pussy, do it.
-Just do it!
[roaring]
Okay, Papa Bear!
Now go attack your best friend!
-[skunk] Ray!
-[grunts]
[roaring]
-Ow, my eyes!
-[skunk] Mess him up good, baby!
-[Penelope] Josh, you're losing.
-[Josh] I can't breathe.
Go to sleep, buddy. Go to sleep.
Sweet dreams, bitch.
[Ray] Timber!
Josh? Baby girl?
[groggily] Yeah, what?
-You okay?
-See, that's what you gotta do.
-What do I gotta do?
-You can't fight Carson bear-to-bear.
You gotta fight him like you're a raccoon.
Fight him dirty, like, trash style?
Yeah! Be creative.
What if you threw dirt in his face
and then bit him in the dick?
No, Ray, I'm not gonna bite his dick
after I blind him.
Yeah, that is gross, dude.
Okay, I can take a note.
What if you shove a beehive up his b-hole?
Now you're thinking.
That one's not too bad.
No, no, guys.
Olivia doesn't want a raccoon.
She wants a bear, and that…
That is why I've gotta fight Carson
bear-to-bear.
Oy. He's gonna tear you to shreds, man.
-That's not what he needs right now.
-Thank you.
But she is right.
That gorgeous motherfucker
is gonna rip you in half.
-Isn't this such an idyllic meadow?
-Yeah!
I, um… I've found
it's a beautiful place to make love.
[chuckles] Looks like
someone already had that idea.
What's that, darling?
-[Fawn] Oh, Charles!
-Oh, Fawn. I respect you so much.
-What the hell?
-Dad!
-Alan!
-Awkward.
My dear friend.
I know this must be alarming.
No shit! You're bucking my daughter.
Well, you're bucking Cassie.
She's somebody's daughter too.
I'm also a yoga teacher.
Well, let's just all just calm down.
Fawn is an adult.
She can make her own decisions.
-Oh Can she?
-Thank you.
-Alan--
-You're twice her age!
Oh my God! You're such a hypocrite!
Well, you, young lady, are a… a slut!
-[Fawn] Excuse me?
-[Cassie] Rude!
-Don't talk to her that way.
-She's my daughter, Charles.
And I'll talk to her however I want.
-Oh, is that how it is?
-Yeah, that's how it is!
Well, guess what?
I can paw at the ground too, motherbucker.
Can you? Can you paw at the ground?
I can see that!
-Looks like we're both pawing.
-Looks like it!
That seems to be the situation.
Guys, please don't charge each other!
[sighs]
[majestic music playing]
-[Charles] Ow!
-[Alan] Ow, my knee! I heard a pop.
God, my Achilles! I heard a snap.
Did you hear that?
[Alan] There's definitely ligament damage.
God damn it!
-It's not supposed to bend that way!
-[wincing] Oh, I see bone!
That was kind of pathetic, right?
Yeah, these guys, they are not young.
[butterfly] Hey, guys.
Happy hour ends in ten, just so you know.
Oh, okay. Well…
Well, I'll stop being happy then. [laughs]
-[farting loudly]
-Ahh!
-Ah! That was you! Not me.
-[Samantha] Yikes.
That's, if you can believe it,
actually pretty good flirting for her.
-[Samantha] Jesus.
-Oh, good Lord. It's Carson.
[Ray] Holy sh…
Has he gotten bigger since yesterday?
-[whimpering] Um…
-Oh, hey, no! No whimpering.
-You're a bear, Josh.
-Are you sure?
-Yes! You are big! And you're scary!
-Yes. Uh-huh.
-You're sensitive with a cute belly--
-Okay.
-Penelope, focus up, okay?
-Oh, yeah. No, you are vicious.
You're a vicious bear!
-Whoo! I can do this!
-[Penelope] Yeah.
You know what?
I'm gonna get fucking crazy!
I'm gonna get so fuckin' crazy!
Oh, man. I can't watch.
Aww! You really care about him.
It's honestly, it's so sweet.
I'm sorry, did you just clench yourself
around my penis a little bit tighter?
-What? Um, no.
-Because it actually felt like you did.
Jesus, you are damaged.
-Who hurt you?
-Nobody hurt me!
Why is everyone
always bringing up my mother?
I never even mentioned your mother.
She tried to eat me, okay? I got away.
-My mind is perfect.
-Uh…
Now, please,
release me from your vaginal clutches!
-You are just the best.
-Hey, man! No way!
Wha… I'm sorry.
-What was that?
-I said no way, hombre.
-Oh my God. Josh, stop it.
-That's my girl!
-Come on! You and me. Bear-to-bear.
-Dude, I'm not gonna fight you.
-No, you don't want this smoke.
-It wouldn't be fair. I'd kill you.
Oh man, this is humiliating.
This motherfucker thinks he's too good
to beat the shit out of you, Josh?
Oh, hell no! Kick his ass, Josh.
-Scramble his tush!
-[roaring]
[Olivia] Guys, stop!
-You made me do this!
-[Penelope] Josh!
Play dead! No!
No, Josh, roll up into a ball.
-[skunk] Cover yourself in your own feces.
-Shit yourself, Josh.
[roaring]
-Ow! My eyes.
-Oh God.
-I can't see!
-Trash style.
Ahh! Oh, my dick!
Oh, sweet Jesus of the woods!
-What happened? I can't see.
-You don't want to see.
Ahh! What did you do?
I just…
I just bit his dick, like you said.
-I didn't say bite it off!
-He bit it off?
I thought there'd be more resistance.
It was like biting into a yam.
Josh, you were just supposed
to nip the sack.
We've gotta get him to the hospital!
-Right, I'll find his dick.
-Nobody move.
Everybody just check the bottom
of your feet for a big, fat bear dick.
With their injuries,
they're going to need help bathing,
eating, going to the bathroom.
Number one or number two?
-Both. Yeah.
-[dejectedly] No.
And it's springtime, so these mature stags
need to be moving their bowels
at least 20 to 30 times a day.
Fuck me.
-Yeah, it's a long road ahead.
-Ooh!
-[chuckles] No, thank you.
-What's that, darling?
Yeah, Alan,
I think you're just so amazing…
Oh no.
…but I'm feeling like maybe
I should be with someone my own age.
I'm sorry, that was a lie.
I just don't want to help you poop.
Thanks for co-signing my lease!
-What just happened?
-[sighs]
I think I just got stuck
taking care of both you idiots.
-Oh, you are so strong.
-Okay.
So, uh,
how's it going with the, uh, geezers?
Ugh, terrible. How's Carson?
How do you think? Josh bit off his penis.
He's doing bad.
Again, I didn't think
it was gonna come off.
I was surprised as anyone.
-Well, not as surprised as Carson.
-[gently] Hey, guys.
Ooh, I do not like the sound of that
"Hey, guys."
I am so sorry. We did everything we could.
We shoved leaves in there.
We shoved dirt in there.
We shoved wet leaves in there.
That actually made it worse, but, um…
Carson's gone.
He's dead?
He lost a lot of blood.
And then we ran out of leaves.
-[sobbing] No! Carson!
-Oh God. I took a life.
Oh, man. I, uh… I don't feel so good.
-Are you okay?
-No.
Life in the forest
is short and fragile. I…
I don't want to die alone
ten feet away from my own dick.
-Oh, Ray, don't talk like that.
-Penelope was right.
Maybe…
Maybe we got stuck together for a reason.
Maybe… Maybe our genitals
are smarter than we are.
-What is this? What's happening?
-Let's start a life together, you and me.
We'll build a hovel near a stream,
have kids.
-We won't even try to eat them.
-Aww!
And, God willing, someday I'll die
with my penis still engorged
inside of you.
-Oy.
-[loud pop]
What the… What just happened?
I don't know. I think your vulnerability
kinda made my lady parts sad.
Are you kidding me?
As soon as I open up to you emotionally,
your vagina spits me out?
You know, let's just call it
"conscious copulatory untying."
-But I, uh--
-Stay sweet, Ray! I'm rooting for you!
Ugh. That guy sucks.
-Oh, man.
-Woof. Sorry, dude.
This is a terrible day.
Fawn.
[sighs] Darling, I need to move my bowels.
Wow. You know what? Ray is right.
Life is short.
And I might have to nurse
my dad back to health, but not you.
-But who's gonna take care of me?
-Don't you have kids or something?
-My daughters don't speak to me anymore.
-Okay!
But only because
I treated their mother terribly.
And goodbye.
Fawn, honey, I'm so sorry.
For what?
Bringing a date to Mom's funeral?
Calling me a slut?
Or for being a selfish asshole
when I really needed my dad?
Well, I meant about Charles.
But, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry for those things too.
[sighs] I just…
I miss Mom.
Oh, sweetheart. I miss her too. So much.
-Could have fooled me.
-I know. I know.
I've… I've been an ass.
I think maybe I was using Cassie
to avoid really grieving.
Yeah, maybe I was
using Charles the same way.
Well, if you ever want
to talk about Mom or anything,
I'll always be here for you.
-[vertebrae crunching]
-Ooh! Ooh! Gentle. Gentle.
They replaced one of my vertebrae
with an acorn.
Okay, come on, old man.
I'll take you home.
-I'll help you make a doodie.
-Aw, that's sweet.
-Yeah!
-[sucks teeth] Oh no.
-[both] What?
-Nothing, I just…
I… I think I got
a piece of dick stuck in my teeth.
Oh, yeah, I see it.
Carson was a bear. A powerful bear.
Taken from us tragically before his time
in a most humiliating manner.
I feel like everyone here hates me.
Of course they hate you.
These are Carson's loved ones,
and you killed him.
-Look at his parents.
-It's really weird that you came.
-Should I leave?
-In the middle of the funeral?
That's even worse.
It's like you came
just to make sure he's dead.
And now, let us all bow our heads
for a moment of silence
to remember Carson.
-I gotta say something.
-What? No.
-Are you insane?
-Whoa!
Buddy, even I think that's a bad idea.
-Hi. Uh, hello, everyone. I'm Josh.
-[crowd murmuring]
What the hell is this?
For those of you who don't know me,
I am the bear who, um…
uh, injured Carson.
You bit off his genitals, you monster!
I did. I did, yes.
And I know this might sound crazy,
but I did it for love.
Can you believe this asshole?
That's right.
-Olivia Marigold Riviera, I love you.
-[inspiring music playing]
I love the way your nose crinkles
when you shit in the woods.
I love the way you break into cars
when some hiker leaves out
a strong-smelling lotion
that you think might be food.
I love everything about you.
And you were right.
I have been hibernating through life.
But I am wide awake now.
And I am ready to be
the bear that you deserve.
Oh, Josh.
So what do you think?
Should we give this thing another go?
-[music stops]
-No! Of course not.
Oh, really?
You killed the love of my life!
Okay, and that's…
That's a dealbreaker for you?
-Sit down, schmuck! Asshole!
-[crowd booing]
[clears throat] Hold on.
I'd like to speak on behalf of my friend.
Yeah, he made a mistake, sure.
That's right. We're all young and scared.
Stumbling around in the dark,
even though we have great night vision.
Just searching for someone
to share our lives with.
Yes, and flirting is hard and weird,
but you have to do it, I guess.
And sometimes your mom,
she tries to eat your little face off!
-Ray…
-My point is that it is scary to be alone.
But we're not alone, right?
We have each other.
-Thanks, you guys.
-[heartfelt music playing]
Yeah!
No! What the fuck? You're hugging?
Get the hell out of here! All of you!
-We should go.
-For sure.
-[Ray] Sorry.
-[Fawn] Oh, pardon me.
And as always,
let's invite all the buzzards
and other weird things
to eat the corpse.
[buzzard] Oh God. This never gets easier.
[loved ones sobbing]
So anyone want to get something to eat?
Nah. I don't know, I'm still kind of full
from Carson's penis.
Oh, yeah. That thing was huge.
I can't believe
you got it all in one bite.
You know, I thought
the same thing as I was doing it.
The thing is it had a lot of volume,
but not a lot of density.
[Ray] Oh! Like that time I ate a sponge.
-[Fawn] Yeah, you almost died!
-[all laughing]
[Penelope] I love our friend group.
-["Mating Season" by AJR playing]
-Wake up, it's mating season ♪
Pick up, I'm in pieces
'Cause I've been catching feelings ♪
While you're catching up ♪
I'm no good at romance
I can't even slow dance ♪
But I've been catching feelings ♪
I think it might be love ♪
Come on, it's mating season ♪
So mating call me up ♪
My buddy's brother's hookin' up
With someone just like his mother ♪
And your sister
And her therapist are under the covers ♪
Now my ex is playing hard to get
I don't even want her ♪
-What the hell? ♪
-[song fades]