Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil (2005) s01e04 Episode Script
Temptasia
0
FATHER CANTALUPI:
Burning Man.
We went on orders of the Vatican because the prophecy
speaks of an unholy storm
rising
in the desert,
snuffing out millions of lives
unless a certain D.J.
is there to perform
Saturday
at 8:00.
I'm thirsty.
Yeah, I'm hot.
Are you hot?
We should have packed better.
Back rubs. Back rubs.
Back rubs!
You look tense.
Check his backpack!
Does he have water?
Water, lentil salad,
couscous.
SISTER:
Take it!
FATHER CANTALUPI:
The D.J.'s arrival was eagerly awaited,
not just by us,
but by his followers and apostles.
They knew nothing of the danger
they faced.
They were simply drawn
by his greasy charisma
and awesome Burning Man art installation.
Okay, here's the deal --
Everyone said it couldn't be done, but we did it.
We molded 44 tons of wax
into this giant scented
candle/D.J. booth/
dance floor/actual working
candle.
What scent is it?
Caramel apple.
You can't smell that?
LUCY:
Isn't D.J. Jesús supposed
to be doing that?
Luce, I'm doing a thing here.
But you don't need to be doing a thing here.
He's gonna be here any minute.
- I'm doing my thang!
FATHER CANTALUPI:
But the D.J. would be ambushed by the Devil,
turned from his path,
and lost in the desert.
BECKY:
There are simpler ways
to keep him from getting
to Burning Man.
SATAN:
Beck.
BECKY:
It just seems so elaborate.
Why does everything have to be about temptation?
Beck, everything doesn't have to be about temptation,
but sometimes
it's hard to resist.
Mm-hmm.
[ sighs ]
It's funny.
Shh! He's coming.
Interns, go.
Whoa!
[ crash ]
Look at all the people holding hands ♪
Holdings hand around
the world ♪
It's making me
want to go wash my hands ♪
Dirty hands around the world ♪
Yeah
Hey! Lucy's dad!
Hey, how's it going?
Not so good.
I had an accident.
Then I was walking,
and then I
thought I saw a building,
but it was a rock.
And now I can't find my way back
to the road.
Wow, what a story.
What a great story.
You all right?
You look done in.
I haven't had food or water
in 40 minutes.
40 minutes?
- Yeah.
40 minutes?
- Yeah.
- Oh, my god.
Well, then you probably won't mind stopping in the food court?
Whoa! How'd this get here?
How about a smoothie?
You know, no, thanks.
They have great wraps here.
Look. Free samples.
Teriyaki bites?
Oh, uh, no, no meat for me,
please.
No meat. Thank you.
- Get out of here.
- Mango?
Mmm. Mango. So good.
I should probably just keep moving.
I really need to get to
Burning Man before dark.
How about some home
electronics, hmm?
Pick out anything you like,
75% off.
Uhoh, yeah?
Really?
Go nuts.
Hmm
That's a great choice.
Want to get the extended
warranty with that?
Oh, umI don't know.
I'm not sure.
Forget about that.
Let's talk about surround sound.
Yeah, I really should just be going.
There's a mail-in rebate on this system.
You know what?
I'm feeling a lot of weird
pressure right now,
so I think I'm just
gonna split, okay?
No pressure.
No pre--
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
I'm looking for a D.J.!
ALL:
I'm a D.J.
Uhuhuhuh
Huh?
- What?
- What?
- What is with your tongue?
I found some mushrooms
in the backpack,
and I ate them.
And now I'm starting to feel a little bit
Give me some.
They're all gone.
I ate them all.
Take these.
Don't eat that!
Spit it! Spit it!
You! Mr. Bad Influence!
They were in the backpack.
What's wrong with you?
You don't run my life!
You're becoming a drug addict!
You're ruining Burning Man
for me!
Look, I really, really need to get to Burning Man, so
It's okay.
This is a shortcut.
You're getting burned.
- Shh!
- Your whole scalp.
- Becky.
Oh, my god.
Just remembered --
Jesús, I want to show you something.
It's on the way.
It's a brothel.
It's a brothel?
I don't think I want to go to a brothel.
No, no, no, we're in Nevada.
It's a legal brothel.
Okay, still,
I think I'll pass.
It's on top of a mountain,
a beautiful mountain.
Uh-huh.
And it's also a lion and
tiger and big-cat sanctuary.
It's called Temptasia.
Whoa, that's like a lot of my favorite things
all smooshed
together.
All what?
Smooshed.
Smooshed? Smushed.
Yeah, smoosh.
You have a strong accent,
so
You like smushes?
- What's that?
Like two words
you smush together.
That sounds fun. Sure.
Do it.
Give me two words,
and I'll smooth them.
Do lion and tiger.
Uh
Liger.
Ti-a-line-e-ger.
No.
That's not a smush.
It is a smush.
What do you mean
it's not a smush?
You're taking both words,
and you're mixing up all
the letters.
It's not a smush the way
you do a smush.
It is a smush how I do a smush.
[ sniffing ]
[ pleasurably ]
Oh.
Caramel apple.
[ sniffs ]
[ pleasurably ]
Oh. Yes.
[ inhales deeply ]
Mmm.
We're there. This is it.
Uh, this is a mountain?
It's a small mountain/hill.
it's a mill.
How would you say it?
I would probably not do it like that.
I would probably say
a himilountain.
Which is longer than --
the whole purpose of smushing
would be to shorten the --
Is that the whole purpose,
or is it to have fun?
That's the most awkward way
to do it.
Wow! 1/4-scale diesel cog
railway.
Who's on board?
Guys, chugga-chugga.
Come on.
Chugga-chugga?
The problem is that you like
to impose your opinion on how I
want to do things.
So, you do mill.
I will do himilountain.
I agree with you.
I'm saying I agree with you.
The end.
What do you mean "the end"?
You have your opinion,
I have mine.
So, what else is there to talk about?
It's not the end.
We want Jesús!
Well, it looks like D.J. Judas
will be spinning tonight.
He'll be here.
Can I --
can I lick it?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Slow down, there, grandpa.
Oh. Oh.
What do you mean
you don't like it?
I don't know.
It's just not my thing.
What? It's just what?
Well, first of all,
I mean, you know,
these ladies are kind of old.
Not all of them.
Let's go out on the patio.
We'll find some baby tigers.
Ariel, Brooke, Granny, Ethel,
Sadie, Sonia, Navy Seal Nancy,
we're going out on the patio.
Please join us and bring some
hard lemonade.
You like hard lemonade, right?
Um
it's great.
Where are the tigers?
SATAN:
They're all down there
somewhere.
I mean, you can hear them,
right?
[ meows, growls ]
Listen, I should really get
to Burning Man.
You guys think this is a party,
you should check out that --
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Not so fast.
Becky, eh?
Becky.
Oh, uh, how would you like to own Temptasia mountain?
Yeah, I really should get going.
Jesús, just listen
to the pitch, okay?
You look so mad right now.
I'm excited.
I'm excited about you
and this opportunity.
[ crowd chanting
"We want Jesús!" ]
Holy crap.
Get behind me, Satan.
What? What'd you say?
I said get behind me,
you and Betsy.
Becky.
I'll shield you from the sand.
I've got glasses on.
We can try to make it inside.
All right, great, but don't say "get behind me."
I got a thing about that.
Okay.
But seriously, dude, if you like these chicks,
you got to check out
Burning Man.
It's like Sodom and Gomorrah.
- Really?
- What'd he say?
It's all glitter and body paint.
No one wears clothes.
Really?
BOTH:
Driving to Burning Man ⪯
Driving to Burning Man ♪
Burning Man, Burning Man ♪
[ beat-boxing ]
[ scatting ]
Burning Man
BECKY:
Enough!
Becky's in the backseat ♪
Becky's in
the backseat
Backseat
Backseat
Backseat, ba-backseat ♪
Father, is that you?
Uh, don't -- don't let her see me.
- What?
- Father?
Uh, he's not here.
Who's not here?
Your father?
Where is this Jesús guy?
Relax, lady,
I got it covered.
All right, we can't wait
any longer,
so let's fire this thing up!
Okay, uh, we're experiencing technical difficulties.
MAN:
Oh, man!
SATAN:
Look at that candle!
[ cheers and applause ]
Hey, everyone.
Hello. Hey.
I'm sorry it took me
so long to get here.
You know,
I was lost in the desert.
I got to say,
it was totally amazing.
I'm here, and I'm glad to be here, so let's do this.
SATAN:
Look at that bike that looks
like a dragon.
BECKY:
Mm-hmm.
SATAN:
And look at that guy with
the silver horns!
Look at that guy who painted
an eye on his eyelid
so that when he closes his eye,
you see another eye!
BECKY:
I get it. You're --
SATAN:
Look at that guy with glitter
in his beard!
BECKY:
Uh-huh.
SATAN:
Look at that woman riding
a huge ice-cream cone!
BECKY:
I get it.
It's all amazing to you.
I still can't believe you gave him a ride.
SATAN:
Man, look at those two.
Hey, you two, get a tent.
BECKY:
I think that's your daughter.
SATAN:
Holy crap, you're right.
- Lucy!
- Dad?
Oh, boy.
FATHER CANTALUPI:
Burning Man.
We went on orders of the Vatican because the prophecy
speaks of an unholy storm
rising
in the desert,
snuffing out millions of lives
unless a certain D.J.
is there to perform
Saturday
at 8:00.
I'm thirsty.
Yeah, I'm hot.
Are you hot?
We should have packed better.
Back rubs. Back rubs.
Back rubs!
You look tense.
Check his backpack!
Does he have water?
Water, lentil salad,
couscous.
SISTER:
Take it!
FATHER CANTALUPI:
The D.J.'s arrival was eagerly awaited,
not just by us,
but by his followers and apostles.
They knew nothing of the danger
they faced.
They were simply drawn
by his greasy charisma
and awesome Burning Man art installation.
Okay, here's the deal --
Everyone said it couldn't be done, but we did it.
We molded 44 tons of wax
into this giant scented
candle/D.J. booth/
dance floor/actual working
candle.
What scent is it?
Caramel apple.
You can't smell that?
LUCY:
Isn't D.J. Jesús supposed
to be doing that?
Luce, I'm doing a thing here.
But you don't need to be doing a thing here.
He's gonna be here any minute.
- I'm doing my thang!
FATHER CANTALUPI:
But the D.J. would be ambushed by the Devil,
turned from his path,
and lost in the desert.
BECKY:
There are simpler ways
to keep him from getting
to Burning Man.
SATAN:
Beck.
BECKY:
It just seems so elaborate.
Why does everything have to be about temptation?
Beck, everything doesn't have to be about temptation,
but sometimes
it's hard to resist.
Mm-hmm.
[ sighs ]
It's funny.
Shh! He's coming.
Interns, go.
Whoa!
[ crash ]
Look at all the people holding hands ♪
Holdings hand around
the world ♪
It's making me
want to go wash my hands ♪
Dirty hands around the world ♪
Yeah
Hey! Lucy's dad!
Hey, how's it going?
Not so good.
I had an accident.
Then I was walking,
and then I
thought I saw a building,
but it was a rock.
And now I can't find my way back
to the road.
Wow, what a story.
What a great story.
You all right?
You look done in.
I haven't had food or water
in 40 minutes.
40 minutes?
- Yeah.
40 minutes?
- Yeah.
- Oh, my god.
Well, then you probably won't mind stopping in the food court?
Whoa! How'd this get here?
How about a smoothie?
You know, no, thanks.
They have great wraps here.
Look. Free samples.
Teriyaki bites?
Oh, uh, no, no meat for me,
please.
No meat. Thank you.
- Get out of here.
- Mango?
Mmm. Mango. So good.
I should probably just keep moving.
I really need to get to
Burning Man before dark.
How about some home
electronics, hmm?
Pick out anything you like,
75% off.
Uhoh, yeah?
Really?
Go nuts.
Hmm
That's a great choice.
Want to get the extended
warranty with that?
Oh, umI don't know.
I'm not sure.
Forget about that.
Let's talk about surround sound.
Yeah, I really should just be going.
There's a mail-in rebate on this system.
You know what?
I'm feeling a lot of weird
pressure right now,
so I think I'm just
gonna split, okay?
No pressure.
No pre--
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
I'm looking for a D.J.!
ALL:
I'm a D.J.
Uhuhuhuh
Huh?
- What?
- What?
- What is with your tongue?
I found some mushrooms
in the backpack,
and I ate them.
And now I'm starting to feel a little bit
Give me some.
They're all gone.
I ate them all.
Take these.
Don't eat that!
Spit it! Spit it!
You! Mr. Bad Influence!
They were in the backpack.
What's wrong with you?
You don't run my life!
You're becoming a drug addict!
You're ruining Burning Man
for me!
Look, I really, really need to get to Burning Man, so
It's okay.
This is a shortcut.
You're getting burned.
- Shh!
- Your whole scalp.
- Becky.
Oh, my god.
Just remembered --
Jesús, I want to show you something.
It's on the way.
It's a brothel.
It's a brothel?
I don't think I want to go to a brothel.
No, no, no, we're in Nevada.
It's a legal brothel.
Okay, still,
I think I'll pass.
It's on top of a mountain,
a beautiful mountain.
Uh-huh.
And it's also a lion and
tiger and big-cat sanctuary.
It's called Temptasia.
Whoa, that's like a lot of my favorite things
all smooshed
together.
All what?
Smooshed.
Smooshed? Smushed.
Yeah, smoosh.
You have a strong accent,
so
You like smushes?
- What's that?
Like two words
you smush together.
That sounds fun. Sure.
Do it.
Give me two words,
and I'll smooth them.
Do lion and tiger.
Uh
Liger.
Ti-a-line-e-ger.
No.
That's not a smush.
It is a smush.
What do you mean
it's not a smush?
You're taking both words,
and you're mixing up all
the letters.
It's not a smush the way
you do a smush.
It is a smush how I do a smush.
[ sniffing ]
[ pleasurably ]
Oh.
Caramel apple.
[ sniffs ]
[ pleasurably ]
Oh. Yes.
[ inhales deeply ]
Mmm.
We're there. This is it.
Uh, this is a mountain?
It's a small mountain/hill.
it's a mill.
How would you say it?
I would probably not do it like that.
I would probably say
a himilountain.
Which is longer than --
the whole purpose of smushing
would be to shorten the --
Is that the whole purpose,
or is it to have fun?
That's the most awkward way
to do it.
Wow! 1/4-scale diesel cog
railway.
Who's on board?
Guys, chugga-chugga.
Come on.
Chugga-chugga?
The problem is that you like
to impose your opinion on how I
want to do things.
So, you do mill.
I will do himilountain.
I agree with you.
I'm saying I agree with you.
The end.
What do you mean "the end"?
You have your opinion,
I have mine.
So, what else is there to talk about?
It's not the end.
We want Jesús!
Well, it looks like D.J. Judas
will be spinning tonight.
He'll be here.
Can I --
can I lick it?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Slow down, there, grandpa.
Oh. Oh.
What do you mean
you don't like it?
I don't know.
It's just not my thing.
What? It's just what?
Well, first of all,
I mean, you know,
these ladies are kind of old.
Not all of them.
Let's go out on the patio.
We'll find some baby tigers.
Ariel, Brooke, Granny, Ethel,
Sadie, Sonia, Navy Seal Nancy,
we're going out on the patio.
Please join us and bring some
hard lemonade.
You like hard lemonade, right?
Um
it's great.
Where are the tigers?
SATAN:
They're all down there
somewhere.
I mean, you can hear them,
right?
[ meows, growls ]
Listen, I should really get
to Burning Man.
You guys think this is a party,
you should check out that --
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Not so fast.
Becky, eh?
Becky.
Oh, uh, how would you like to own Temptasia mountain?
Yeah, I really should get going.
Jesús, just listen
to the pitch, okay?
You look so mad right now.
I'm excited.
I'm excited about you
and this opportunity.
[ crowd chanting
"We want Jesús!" ]
Holy crap.
Get behind me, Satan.
What? What'd you say?
I said get behind me,
you and Betsy.
Becky.
I'll shield you from the sand.
I've got glasses on.
We can try to make it inside.
All right, great, but don't say "get behind me."
I got a thing about that.
Okay.
But seriously, dude, if you like these chicks,
you got to check out
Burning Man.
It's like Sodom and Gomorrah.
- Really?
- What'd he say?
It's all glitter and body paint.
No one wears clothes.
Really?
BOTH:
Driving to Burning Man ⪯
Driving to Burning Man ♪
Burning Man, Burning Man ♪
[ beat-boxing ]
[ scatting ]
Burning Man
BECKY:
Enough!
Becky's in the backseat ♪
Becky's in
the backseat
Backseat
Backseat
Backseat, ba-backseat ♪
Father, is that you?
Uh, don't -- don't let her see me.
- What?
- Father?
Uh, he's not here.
Who's not here?
Your father?
Where is this Jesús guy?
Relax, lady,
I got it covered.
All right, we can't wait
any longer,
so let's fire this thing up!
Okay, uh, we're experiencing technical difficulties.
MAN:
Oh, man!
SATAN:
Look at that candle!
[ cheers and applause ]
Hey, everyone.
Hello. Hey.
I'm sorry it took me
so long to get here.
You know,
I was lost in the desert.
I got to say,
it was totally amazing.
I'm here, and I'm glad to be here, so let's do this.
SATAN:
Look at that bike that looks
like a dragon.
BECKY:
Mm-hmm.
SATAN:
And look at that guy with
the silver horns!
Look at that guy who painted
an eye on his eyelid
so that when he closes his eye,
you see another eye!
BECKY:
I get it. You're --
SATAN:
Look at that guy with glitter
in his beard!
BECKY:
Uh-huh.
SATAN:
Look at that woman riding
a huge ice-cream cone!
BECKY:
I get it.
It's all amazing to you.
I still can't believe you gave him a ride.
SATAN:
Man, look at those two.
Hey, you two, get a tent.
BECKY:
I think that's your daughter.
SATAN:
Holy crap, you're right.
- Lucy!
- Dad?
Oh, boy.