Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man (2025) s01e05 Episode Script

1
I am Spider-Man.
[Norman] Oscorp's best engineers now work
round the clock for you.
[tense music playing]
[grunts]
[Bulldozer] The Scorpions are trying
to move in on our turf, Don.
The guy runnin' the whole operation,
Mac Gargan, is an even bigger psycho.
-You sent me in there using your name!
-Wake up!
You wanna protect your family?
Without us pushing back,
Gargan and Carmilla would be
knockin' on their front door.
Now comes the fun part!
[tires screeching]
I will be back for you all.
[grunting]
Holy crap! You're Spider-Man.
No, I'm n not.
[reporter] Their accomplice,
a woman known as Mila Masaryk,
is still at large.
Ms. Masaryk,
how can I help you this evening?
[The Math Club feat. Relaye, Melo Makes
Music "Neighbor Like Me" playing]
[chorus] Hey there ♪
There goes the Spider-Man ♪
Spider-Man ♪
Does whatever a spider can ♪
Spider-Man ♪
Spider-Man
Spider-Man ♪
-There goes the Spider-Man ♪
-[Relaye] Yeah! Eh! ♪
There we go
There we go ♪
There we go again ♪
Swinging through the city so fast
You can barely notice him ♪
Wall crawler ♪
You know what's after that ♪
Friendly neighborhood
He's taking care of the habitat ♪
Urban acrobat ♪
Don't know where he find the time
Fighting crime ♪
Humble beginnings
And now we flyin' high ♪
Spi-Spidey sense
Superpower science kid ♪
You don't think it's fair
I got the world's smallest violin ♪
At the pinnacle
Perched at the top ♪
It's daily and it never stops ♪
[chorus] Hey there ♪
[Relaye] Need my city,
my city it need me ♪
A hero not a vigilante ♪
[chorus] There goes the Spider-Man ♪
[Relaye] Taking off the mask
I know what you see ♪
[chorus] Look out ♪
[Relaye] Know you want
a neighbor like me ♪
Cleaning up Queens, NYC ♪
And I do it even better with a team ♪
[chorus] Here comes the Spider-Man ♪
-[mischievous music playing]
-[man] Ms. Masaryk,
it's a pleasure to meet you.
And right on time.
[chuckles] I can't help but admit
that I'm pleasantly surprised.
Punctuality usually isn't a strong suit
for many in this industry.
[chuckles nervously] Uh
-You are the man selling weapons?
-Weapons?
No, my dear.
I sell enhancements
that assist hard-working individuals
like yourself and your accomplices.
Speaking of which,
I'm surprised to see you've come alone.
Yes. I know we discussed getting
enhancements for myself and my friends,
but [sighs] they've recently
been incarcerated.
I'm thinking,
instead of buying four pieces of tech,
you could sell me one
that will allow me to free them.
Of course.
If you have the appropriate funds,
that is.
[villainous music swells]
[lights clicking]
-[Dr. Octavius] Impressive, right?
-[scoffs]
I was expecting a bit more
than a warehouse full of scrap metal.
Oh, yes. I'm sure there were those
that questioned da Vinci
when he began to create
masterpieces in a shack.
[chuckles] It often takes a genius
to see what lies ahead
when most can barely see beyond the trees.
But with that said, I cannot disagree
that more fitting accommodations
are a priority of mine.
[chuckles] And I'm one step closer,
thanks to your generous funding.
Ah. Here it is.
With this prime piece of Octavius Tech,
you'll free your associates in no time.
Oy. [speaking Russian]
[in English] I've picked up
a language or five in my spare time.
But, yes, that helmet has been outfitted
with constantly updating,
predictive technology
that analyzes movement patterns.
It also fires lasers.
Lasers. That, I understand.
Excellent.
It was an absolute pleasure
doing business with you, my dear.
If you have any questions,
consult the instructions.
-Please exit the same way you came in.
-[door opens]
And thank you again for your patronage.
-[door closes]
-[sighs]
[groans] Vincent,
begin disinfecting the lab immediately.
Yes, sir.
[mischievous music intensifying]
These people, this situation,
it's all beneath me.
I know, sir, [sighs]
but we're almost there.
Soon enough, you'll have
everything you need to show the world
the things a true genius is capable of
"Soon enough"
is never soon enough, Vincent.
My name should be held in higher regard
than Stark, Banner, Osborn!
You will be.
We're so close
to seeing your dream realized
and showing the world
just how incredible you are.
-[keypad beeps]
-[door hisses]
[Dr. Octavius] You're right.
I've waited this long,
but soon everyone will know
and revere the name of Dr. Otto Octavius.
[mischievous music swells]
[sighs]
[Harry sighs]
[pops]
[Peter clears throat]
-Um, so
-So.
-Oh, sorry. I can't believe that you're
-I mean, yesterday was
-[Harry stammers]
-Peter,
thank you for stopping by this morning.
I know you have school soon,
but I figured this is a conversation
that should happen in person.
The sooner, the better.
I've given what happened
last night a lot of thought.
I've decided
that the only course of action
is for Harry to join Team Spider-Man.
[both] Wait, what?
Peter, as much as I want to assist you,
there are gonna be times
in which I'm unavailable
due to my various duties here at Oscorp.
That's where Harry comes in.
He may only be 15
-Sixteen.
-[sighs]
Sixteen.
But I've raised him to be
quite a responsible young man.
-He can be your
-Dude at the desk!
Not how I would have put it, but sure.
[laughs] This is gonna be awesome.
Me, helping Spider-Man save the city?
-Hell, yeah!
-[Peter clears throat]
I don't really know
about this, Mr. Osborn.
I mean, no offense,
but I barely know Harry and
-[intercom beeps]
-[secretary] Mr. Osborn,
you're needed for an investor meeting.
Thank you, Ms. Porter.
My apologies for getting cut short,
but trust me, Peter,
this is the best course of action
for us all.
So, [chuckles] that was somethin', right?
Yep. [sighs]
So, you're my "Dude at the desk?"
Sure seems like it.
Uh Ah
[chuckles] Sorry,
what was your name again?
-Peter.
-[Harry] Right.
Peter. Cool, cool.
Uh, good name.
[sighs]
Well, I guess I should get going to school
before I'm late again.
Oh, uh You need a ride?
-[engine revving]
-[upbeat rock music playing]
-[boy 1] Who drives that car?
-[boy 2] Who's that?
-[boy 3] Do you know him?
-[girl] Harry Osborn?
-Thanks again for the ride, Harry.
-No problem, Peter.
Have a good one, dude.
Catch you after school.
-[engine revving]
-[tires screeching]
-[lively chatter]
-[school bell rings]
Pete, are you kidding me?
I know! I'm on time for once.
I can barely believe it myself.
Not that.
You're hanging out with Harry Osborn?
Everyone in school is talking about it.
Even the teachers.
-Yeah, that's him.
-[woman gasps]
I'm gonna wave. I'm gonna wave.
[chuckles sheepishly]
Okay, but why?
Take a look for yourself.
Yep.
When he's not acting
as your personal Lyft driver,
he's also a social media celebrity.
Oh, I had no idea Harry was so popular.
I just know him as Mr. Osborn's son.
In addition to being a vapid pretty boy,
he's the heir of a big business tycoon.
Meaning, he'll undoubtedly pursue
a political path 20 years from now.
And, of course, he'll win,
so the economy will tank,
people will become restless,
and I'll have no choice
but to join the revolution against him.
Okay, you have clearly put
a lot of thought into this, Nico.
Here's a question for ya.
If you believe Harry's so bad,
why are you following him?
Uh [chuckles nervously] Oh, obviously,
I'm following him ironically.
-[chuckles]
-Right.
[clears throat] I'm just saying, Pete.
You've been doing a lot lately
and hanging out with a lot of people.
You know, juniors, seniors, billionaires.
I wanna make sure
you're still making time for
for you.
Thanks, Nico.
Yeah, things have been mm, busy lately,
but I appreciate you worrying about me.
Someone's gotta do it.
Who knows what you'd do without me, Pete.
[Grayfield sighs]
What in the name of Rockford T. Bales
is goin' on with you, Lincoln?
And you're good, but I can't justify
lettin' you skip practice.
You're the team captain,
for goodness' sake.
I know. And you're right.
I've just had some personal things
goin' on, Coach.
I get that, Lonnie.
But you gotta get
your head on straight, son.
This isn't just high school
football for you.
You got the skills to go pro.
Don't throw it all away now.
[phone vibrating]
[clicks]
I'm not gonna throw my chance away.
There isn't a guy on this team that's more
dedicated toward this than I am.
I know it may not have seemed
like that lately,
but you know there's nothing
I wouldn't do for this team.
[sighs] I know you're dedicated, but,
well, these college scouts
that come to these games,
they don't know that.
Don't give 'em a reason
to look past you, son.
I won't.
All right. Get your butt to class, Lonnie.
I'll see you at practice.
[footsteps approaching]
Oh! Lonnie! Small world, right?
[both chuckle]
So, how much of that did you hear?
[scoffs] Just a little bit.
[chuckles]
Okay, 100%. [chuckles]
What can I say? I'm an overachiever.
[chuckles] Overachiever?
I'd say expert-level snoop.
So, do you want to talk about it?
Nah, there's not much to talk about.
But what I would like to do
is walk you to class.
[Pearl chuckles]
Oh, Petey and I
have been covering for you,
so you might have to convince Mr. Taylor
you've had bronchitis for the last week.
Aw, you guys are great. Okay, how's this?
[in a raspy voice] Sorry, Mr. Taylor.
I left it all on the field, even my voice.
[in normal voice] Huh?
[laughs] Stick to football, Lon.
Because your acting is not it.
So, it's anyone's guess
what's gonna happen with the Avengers now.
You know, I've never been
a Tony Stark fan
-[boy] Whoo! Look out!
-Right.
But I can't say Captain America
is totally in the right either.
-[Peter] Yeah.
-[Nico] I mean,
maybe Super people
should have to register
-Mm-hmm.
-for everyone's safety.
Like, imagine if me and you
got super suits
and went around causing collateral damage
and punching people.
[chuckles nervously] That would be weird.
You know what's even more weird
than that, though?
You ignoring me
when I mention Captain America,
even though he's, like, your messiah.
You too busy texting your new pal,
The Great and Powerful Osboy?
Ha-ha. Actually, I was buying two tickets
for tonight's screening
of Teschio di Fuoco Two,
Return of the Burn.
Holy crap!
Are you messing with me right now?
Because if you are,
I will throw you into orbit.
I know, I couldn't believe it either,
but one of the arthouse theaters
got an unreleased copy somehow
and they're showing it tonight at 7:00.
You in?
To watch the sequel to the best worst
B-movie of all time on the big screen?
-Of course, I am!
-Great.
[Nico] I'll see you tonight at 7:00.
-Oh, look who showed up.
-Lonnie! Where you been, man?
-Finally. Finally.
-Our star quarterback, everybody!
Yo, you remember what this is?
It's called a football.
[all laughing]
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Look, get everything out now,
'cause once we're back on that field,
y'all gonna be eating those words. Okay?
Ha-ha, funny.
[player] actually showed up
for practice?
[phone vibrating]
[tense music playing]
-[phone beeps]
-Hello.
Answer a question for me, Superstar.
I texted you earlier to get to the hideout
ASAP, so why ain't you here?
[Lonnie] Look, my coach is all
I don't really care about your excuse.
The Scorpions are on our turf,
so I need every member
of the One Tenth here, now!
What? I'm at school, man.
Football practice.
Even if I left now, it would take a while
to get back to Harlem.
Yeah, I know, that's why
I sent Bulldozer to pick you up.
Him and some of the boys
are parked outside right now.
[Grayfield] Joinin' us today, Lincoln?
Oh. Oh, yeah, Coach. One minute.
Just dealing with some
family stuff, you know.
Okay. But I want you
on that field in 60 seconds.
I can't keep skipping out on practice.
I'm gonna get kicked off the team.
I'm sorry, I missed the part
where that was my problem.
You signed up for this, Lincoln.
Now, I suggest you go outside
and meet Dozer before I send him inside
to meet with you.
Fine. I'm on my way.
All right, everybody out there!
Let's get our butts in gear! Come on, now!
[somber music playing]
[neck cracks]
[comms beeps]
-[Harry on comms] So
-[exclaims]
how was school today, Mr. Spider-Man?
[laughs] Were you seriously just waiting
for me to turn the comms on?
All right. I'm gonna be
completely honest with you.
I most definitely was.
I was so bored, dude.
[Peter] Bored?
Don't you have millions
of adoring fans to respond to?
Ninety percent of my DMs are people
asking me, "How did you get rich?"
So, not much conversation there
besides saying, "I was born."
-[cat meowing]
-Hmm. Fair point.
And what about school?
I mean, no classes to distract you?
You'd think so,
considering I'm homeschooled
by "the smartest instructors
money can buy,"
as my dad likes to say.
But I'm a pretty quick learner,
so that frees up my day quite a bit.
Man, being homeschooled
sounds like the life.
[chuckles] Yeah. Hey,
the first few years are a blast.
But once you realize
there's no one around to talk to,
since all your old friends
are busy at school
and all your new friends
are either using you for clout
or are just spam bots, the shine
starts to wear off the whole experience.
Hmm. Yeah, I mean,
I guess I didn't consider that.
Since we're sharing, I gotta ask.
-What's up with the new suit?
-What? You don't like my suit?
It's not that. It's cool.
It's just kind of
Sterile?
-[Harry] That's it.
-[sighs]
Honestly, it could use
a lot more color too.
True. I I would like
a lot more red and blue.
-Like Captain America.
-Captain America.
[Peter] Wait, you're a Cap fan too?
I thought everyone was turning on him now.
[chuckles] No way, man.
So he broke a few laws
to help his best friend.
Who wouldn't?
Besides, I read online
the real Cap died four years ago
and it's his clone
that's been doing all this.
[Peter] For sure.
Wait, what?
[indistinct chatter]
[grunting]
-[clinking]
-[suspenseful music playing]
[man] Don't worry, it ain't gonna hurt.
-[Mikhail] Hmm?
-[man] Better watch out.
[speaking Russian]
[machine powering up]
-[explosion]
-[alarm blaring, ringing]
-[man in English] What the hell? Get back!
-Mila?
Privyet, Mikhail.
I told you I'd be back for you.
-Did I not? [grunts]
-And I believed you.
Although, Dmitri and Roxanna
may need convincing.
-I believe they are convinced.
-[sirens blaring]
-How did you
-[officer 1] Hey, stop right there!
-Get on the ground. Put your hands up!
-[officer 2] Freeze!
-Hands where I can see 'em!
-I will show you. [grunts]
[officer 3] Look out!
[Mikhail] Mila?
Uh, the Octagonal man you mentioned.
This is the tech you purchased?
Da.
It was expensive,
but necessary to free you three.
Then I like it.
Makes you look like a rhino, yes?
Nyet, nyet.
I'm more like a yedinorog.
Ah, yes. The unicorn.
Yes, yes. You look wonderful.
We should be focused
on escaping now, right?
Mm, no. First, we will have a bit of fun.
-[powering up]
-[yells]
[crowd screaming]
[cackling]
Hey, I just stole that bike and [groans]
Nice work.
What are you gonna do with the bike?
[Peter] Good question.
If I put a note on it,
people would respect the honor system?
[Harry] Crap. Forget the note.
-There's a jailbreak in progress.
-[Peter] What? Where?
[Harry] One sec, I'm uploading
the GPS coordinates to your suit.
-[muffled grunting]
-[Peter] You can do that?
Oh, that's gonna be so helpful,
especially at night.
It's so easy to get lost
when you're swinging above
-[Harry] Peter, go!
-[Peter] Ah, right!
-[intense music playing]
-[officers groan]
-[groans]
-[grunts]
[yells]
[yells]
[exclaiming]
-[powering up, beeping]
-End of the road, little piggy.
[officer groans]
-[gasps]
-[Peter grunts]
[Spider-Man] I'm not one
to give unsolicited advice,
but trust me, a little yoga
and some anger management classes
will probably help with that whole
firing-lasers-from-your-forehead
thing you got goin'.
I recognize you, bug!
Aw, a fan. I'll tell you what.
You surrender,
I'll make sure you get a signed photo.
[Mila yells]
[Harry] Dude,
that lady is firing lasers at you!
-[Mila grunts]
-[Spider-Man grunts]
Yeah, I noticed.
[grunts]
[heroic music playing]
[beeping]
[Spider-Man] I gotta close the gap.
[chuckles]
What?
-[grunts]
-[Spider-Man grunts] That's new.
Perhaps now is the time
in which we sneak away
before the arachnid notices us, huh?
-Good idea. Come on, Mikhail.
-No.
I will not abandon Mila.
-She is only here to save us.
-[Dmitri] Da.
Because she abandoned us and felt guilty.
It's smarter to use
this distraction while we can.
Unless you enjoyed
being caged like a beast?
[Mikhail sighs]
Very well.
Then we shall see you around, hopefully.
Is that all you've got,
[panting] little spider?
I'm just gettin' started.
[dog barking in distance]
'Bout time you two got here.
You almost missed out on the fun.
Oh, man. You and I have
very different definitions of fun.
[tense music playing]
[man] Would you look at this!
They actually showed up.
See, the streets were saying
that the One Tenth was all talk.
A bunch of nobodies,
led by the biggest nobody of all.
But look at you, [laughs] you're all here.
And all it took was me and the Scorpions
coming over here to mark our territory.
Your territory?
[scoffs] I heard your ass
is crazy, Gargan,
but we both know this is One Tenth turf.
Oh, is it?
Because from where I'm standing,
this is moving day.
The only choice you gotta make is if
you wanna hand the keys over,
or if I need to take 'em.
You listen to me, Gargan.
You got three seconds
to get your ass off my turf,
or it'll be the last place you ever stand.
Three seconds?
Three, two,
one. [snaps fingers]
-[gasps]
-[Scorpions shouting]
-[intense music playing]
-[Big Donovan grunts]
-[Mila] Slowing down, little spider?
-[Spider-Man groans]
Why don't you give up?
Well, you know what they say
about the Itsy Bitsy Spider right?
-They're Whoa!
-[yells]
[thugs grunting, groaning]
[Carmilla grunting]
[Spider-Man] Harry! You find anything?
No. I mean, she's referred
to as "a physically gifted athlete."
[grunts] You sure she's not
a distant cousin of the Hulk or something?
[Harry] Gotta be the helmet.
I mean, the other villains you fought
all had little upgrades, didn't they?
[Mila] I'm tired of playing this game
with you, bug!
-Perhaps it's time I find new playmates?
-[people gasping]
[Spider-Man] Hey! No, wait!
[yells]
[people scream]
-[people gasping]
-[Spider-Man] Gotcha.
-[crowd screaming]
-Mila, you've had your fun,
but perhaps now is the time to escape.
You would have me run
from a battle like a coward,
-when I can walk away the victor? [scoffs]
-[sighs]
-[man grunts]
-[Spider-Man] You okay?
[gasps]
-[Mila grunts]
-[groaning]
[grunting]
-[groans]
-[Mila grunts]
[groaning]
[Mila] After all of this fighting,
-all you needed was
-[grunts]
a little distraction
to lose your edge, hmm?
[Spider-Man] Yeah. No, I have a pesky
habit of saving people that are in danger.
But now that everyone's gone,
[grunts] you've got my full attention.
-[intense music continuing]
-[groans]
-[gasps]
-[yells]
[all grunting]
[grunts]
Luckily, I have a contingency plan.
Mikhail!
[growling]
Don, look out!
-[powering up]
-Watch this.
[Peter] No!
[Peter groans]
-[Lonnie grunts]
-[groans]
[explosions]
[gasps]
[groans]
Big mistake, kid. [grunts]
[groans]
[sirens wailing]
We don't have time for him, Mac!
-The police!
-[grunts]
This ain't over.
-[woman] Let's go!
-[man] The police! We gotta go!
Come on, Lonnie! We gotta go, now!
All right. I'm comin'.
[tires screech]
[groans]
[gasps]
[Harry] Spider-Man! Spider
-[static interruption]
-[Harry] Come in, Spider-Man! Say s
Aw. Looks like I win.
[Mikhail] What in the hell was that?
I'd be dead if not for the bug!
What were you thinking?
The spider's foolish morals
meant he would save you.
And you would gamble with my life
to prove a point?
Oh, get over yourself, huh?
[grunting]
[Spider-Man groaning]
Farewell, little spider.
-[growls]
-[laughing]
-[grunts]
-[exclaims]
-Mikhail, what are you doing?
-Stopping you.
The longer we linger here,
the more likely the Iron Man
or his friends will appear.
-Now, let's go.
-Oh, my God. You fool!
The only reason you're not in a cell
right now is because of me.
You do not call the shots, Mikhail. I do!
-You would do well to remember that.
-[helicopter hovering]
[growls]
[grunts]
[gasps]
[Spider-Man] You shouldn't have.
But I didn't get you anything.
Oh, wait. Here!
[shouts, groans]
[muffled grunting]
[sirens wailing]
[Spider-Man] Thanks for your help. I
You may have saved my life,
but do not speak to me
as if we are friends.
Thanks to you,
now Mila and I will both rot in cells.
[indistinct police chatter]
[menacing music playing]
[Mikhail] Consider us even, bug.
But if you are ever unfortunate enough
to cross my path again,
all the web you can spin won't be enough
to restrain me from ending your existence.
Oh. Uh, okay. That's a lot.
[grunts]
[heroic music playing]
-[whimsical music playing]
-Hey, Mr. Spider-Man, still alive?
[sighs] Barely. I'm close to Oscorp.
Is it okay if I come take a nap
on your dad's couch?
Yeah, I get it. I'm exhausted
and I'm just sitting here.
You're fighting crime
after a day of school.
I don't know how you do it, man.
[Spider-Man] It is not easy. [sighs]
Usually, I'm getting pulled in
so many different directions
that I make mistakes
or forget something important
Oh, crap! I'm supposed to meet my friend
at the movies!
[horns honking]
[sighs] Come on, Pete. Where are you?
[Peter] Nico!
[upbeat music playing]
[sighs in relief] Finally.
Pete, what happened to your face?
Oh, you know how in cartoons people
slip on banana peels?
Uh, well, life imitates art.
Oh, uh, well, I'm glad you're okay,
but [chuckles] can't lie though,
I was beginning to think
you were gonna bail on me again.
No such luck. You are stuck with me.
[chuckles] Lucky me.
Sorry about the wait, it's a nightmare
finding parking around here.
Hey, thanks for letting me
crash the movie.
-[man] That's Harry Osborn.
-Oh, and nice to meet you, Nico.
All right.
Well, I'm starving.
And I'll see you guys
at the concession stand.
I hope it's cool I invited Harry.
He was nice enough to give me a ride,
and it seemed like he was just gonna have
a lonely night at home.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, just took me by surprise for a second.
It's no problem at all.
You sure?
Yeah. Totally.
Okay, awesome.
Come on, let's grab some snacks. My treat.
[sighs]
It's fine.
[rap music playing on speakers,
Old Man Saxon "Hell Yeah"]
[Big Donovan] There he is.
What? What did I do now, man?
Besides become a human pincushion?
You saved my ass. That's what you did.
Y'all should've seen it.
I was giving those Scorpion punks
the hands, son,
when Gargan tried to sneak me
with a damn knife.
Luckily, Superstar was there.
Tackled Gargan like he was in the NFL,
-planted his ass right in the ground.
-[gasps]
-[thugs cheering]
-Yeah! All right! Yeah!
-[thug 1] Yeah
-[thug 2] All right!
[thug 3] He the man! Way to go!
Hey, uh, I had
my doubts about you, Superstar.
But tonight,
you proved where your loyalties lie.
You're certified One Tenth.
[thug] Yeah. Straight up.
Well, if that's the case, I need a favor.
I need you to stop calling me "Superstar,"
man, 'cause I hate it.
-[thugs laughing]
-[laughs] Deal.
Hell, the way you buried Gargan,
we should start calling you "Gravedigger."
Nah, we should call you "Tombstone."
-Tombstone?
-[thug] I like it. Yeah.
Yeah, I can't lie.
Kinda like it.
[suspenseful music swells]
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