#blackAF s01e06 Episode Script

1
Hey, y'all, it's your girl Joya
about to do an interview
with her daughter,
future NYU student. What what?
#momlife, #Tischlife, #Joyalove.
[KISSES]
You ready now?
- Yes, camera ready.
- [DREA] Great.
- So, tell me
- One more thing. Sorry.
Hey, everybody. Should I move to
New York with my daughter? Oh!
[DREA] So if you can't tell,
my mom's been going through it.
Has been for a minute.
Ever since she left the law firm,
she's been trying to figure out
what her next move might be.
There was a YouTube cooking channel.
What you want to do is get
these peppers real small,
as small as you possibly
Ow! Shit.
There was a political podcast.
If you're gonna get out there and
be the leader of the free world,
I want you to do something
good with your hair.
And now in the last few months,
she's decided to write a book.
I probably should have
mentioned this earlier, but
based on everything
she's done in the past,
I never thought there was a chance
in hell she'd finish this thing.
In an attempt to promote
her miracle book,
she's been introduced to social media.
It hasn't been great.
Mom, can you please take a
second from your followers
- and answer a couple questions for me?
- Yes. I'm sorry.
So, why did you introduce
yourself like that at my school?
Like what?
Oh, fuck! Give her two cc's of
Propofol before she wakes up!
That should keep her asleep another
hour or two until I can get back.
No. No, it's not unethical.
It's called how I practice medicine.
Yeah, well, maybe you
shouldn't have gotten
your nursing degree online!
Let me know if you need any, uh, help
deciphering that fine print
on the auction form.
Yeah. I got it.
It's just I I had a client once
who thought she was buying a blender
and instead she got a beach house.
You know? [CHUCKLING]
I'm Joya. I'm a lawyer.
I don't see what the problem is.
Did you have to say
that you're a lawyer?
Couldn't you have just
stopped at your name?
I could have, yeah,
but to give objective resonance to
the fact that I was offering
free, I might add legal advice,
I thought it would be good to mention
that I am, in fact, a lawyer.
I think you were standing there
in your designer sweats and Prada boots
and you saw a woman in scrubs,
probably drenched in some
kind of bodily fluid,
I mean, clearly committing malpractice,
but, um also bossing up,
and it kind of made you
miss being a boss.
It made you feel like you had
to reach inside your bag
and pull out the most awkward,
unnecessary flex of all time.
The hell are you talking about?
I don't have to miss being a
boss, because I am a boss.
Are you, though?
Yeah, I am.
I graduated at the top of my class
and I am a corporate fucking lawyer.
I guess.
I mean, Mom, you haven't been
in a courtroom in what? Like
three years?
You're smart because you're my daughter,
but I forgot more than you know.
I love you, but I will take you down.
You either with me or against me, ho
Ho
You either with me or
- Wait
- Win, win, win, win, win
- Yeah
- Fuck everything else
Win, win, win, win
Win, yeah
Can you believe this little bitch?
She came for me.
Like, hard.
Am I a lawyer?
That's completely out
of line. Am I right?
Absolutely wrong because
you definitely, technically,
by the rule of the law
are absolutely still a lawyer.
- Technically.
- [JOYA] Mm-hmm.
Damn straight I am.
I haven't practiced in three years.
It doesn't matter if I hadn't
practiced in three decades.
I got that JD, okay?
[WOMAN ON PHONE] You did, girl.
[JOYA] And had six kids!
Even if I had given all
those six kids away,
that is still my degree.
Look at God! Won't he
do it? Yes, he will.
Can you please not do that,
'cause it makes me feel
like you're not taking me
seriously when you do that.
Look Par Par, I don't know what
you did, but I'm glad you did it.
Like, it had to be done.
So, thank you so much.
It should have been me, but
as usual, it was you, and it's
probably always going to be you.
But thank you so much.
You're the hero this family
deserves, like a real hero.
You're Malcolm X, you're James Baldwin.
You're Latrell Sprewell
choking PJ Carlesimo.
You're Arya Stark,
you're Tyrion Lannister.
This is the toughest part
about making a documentary.
The proverbial moral quandary.
I mean, you see a woman set on fire.
What do you do? Do you put out the fire?
Or do you zoom in and let her burn?
You're that old white dude who
landed the plane in the Hudson,
although he's not really a hero.
He kinda just crashed good.
You're the Pope.
Not Not John Paul, he's cool.
You're the new one.
The one who's, like, down gay people.
So what's your take on Mom not working?
Your mom's a hard-working lady.
Always has been, that's her thing.
She's a trooper, I love that about her.
I don't think she ever took off
really more than three months
for any of you guys.
Um
then when she was pregnant
with little Brook,
she got this thing called pre-eclampsia,
he ended up coming, like
a couple of months early.
It was It was crazy.
Um, we didn't know if he was gonna
make it, to be honest with you.
He was in the NICU for a while.
Shit, we didn't know if she'd make it.
So, when they both ended
up pulling through,
we knew they'd need some time,
so we decided she'd stay home,
you know, be with the kids.
Be a mom for a while, something
she hadn't done before.
That was a little over three
years ago. Twelve hundred
and 31 days, to be exact.
Well, how long did you think it'd take?
And what'd you think she'd be doing?
We never really set an exact time,
but I don't think any
rational person would think
we'd be looking at our 4th calendar
year with no end in sight.
I guess I figured she'd be
taking care of the kids,
you know, since that's what
she said she'd be doing.
Not ignoring you guys and doing
whatever it is she does.
What What it she doing right now?
Is she still doing the book?
- Is that her thing?
- Yes, Dad.
Hm. Okay.
I'm sure they don't think
that I'm, like, doing this
- Hey, babe!
- Yo! What up?
I made some breakfast, if you want some.
- You made chili con quiles?
- Yeah.
- Mmm. Killed it.
- You remember Lavette?
Um, I do. What up, Lavette? How are you?
- Good. Nice to see you.
- Good to see you.
- Yet again.
- Say hi to Jasmine.
- [KENYA] Hey, Jas, everybody's here.
- Hey!
[KENYA] Working woman.
What's going on? Where are the kids?
I dropped them off at school.
You dropped them off?
While you're getting your
hair and makeup done?
No, I had them dropped off.
It's the same thing.
Hmm.
[SOFTLY] No, it's not.
- Did you say something?
- Huh?
Did It sounded like
you said something.
No. I was I'm gonna get
some of this bacon
- Okay.
- that you made.
- [JOYA] Huh?
- Huh?
Did you Did you want
to say something to me?
No.
You didn't say anything about the bacon?
I don't think so.
- He definitely said something.
- He definitely said something.
He definitely said something.
He's on that shit right now with me.
- Maybe you should listen to him more.
- [JOYA] Huh?
- [JOYA] What?
- Hmm?
[DREA] So, Mom, this new
chapter in your life,
what do you call it? What are you doing?
Well, essentially,
I am just taking my life experiences
and sharing them with people.
And I'd like to see myself as, you know,
an inspiration to black women.
You do?
Yeah.
Like, really?
Yeah, really.
Really?
Why? You don't?
[SIGHS] We're not supposed
to be going back and forth.
Let's just keep going.
Let me explain to you
why I'm an inspiration.
Somebody like Michelle Obama.
- She's the GOAT, obviously.
- [MOUTHING] Michelle Obama?
[JOYA] We all love her.
Untouchable. I will put respect
on her name forever, but
she's royalty, right?
The woman hasn't driven
a car in 15 years.
I'm in the trenches with working
moms, doing the damn thing
every day.
"Trenches" feels strong.
So does "working."
I'll be honest with you,
"Mom" even feels like a little
bit of a stretch at this point.
You know Lupe was hired originally
as Brooklyn's newborn nurse, right?
[DREA] Really?
Yeah. The super expensive person
with a super specific job of
taking care of a newborn infant.
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
- [LAUGHING]
[KENYA] There's usually
a pretty short window
because they're for newborn infants.
That's the name.
Newborn nurse.
Why don't you just get rid of her?
We can't just get rid of Lupe. Okay?
That $25 an hour we pay her
barely supports her
family back in Guatemala.
How much are we paying her?
Besides, her Coco Fresco's
license just expired.
It didn't expire. It was revoked
and it should've been!
She could've killed somebody!
Things are made out of dairy!
We live in Encino,
it's 95 degrees outside.
I don't care how big
your umbrella is, Lupe.
You can't just shove them
in some kind of handmade
woven wicker basket
and put ice on top of them,
start handing them out
to neighborhood kids.
Fuck is wrong with you?
And it's pretty obvious that Brooklyn's
outgrown a newborn nurse.
[GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[LUPE SNORING]
[JOYA] That's good, right?
[JASMINE] Yeah, it looks really great.
I mean, you look great regardless
Yo, about to be out.
Happy hump day, by the way.
[JOYA] Oh.
Hump day, big celebratory
day in the workforce.
It's like the halfway part. We just
You guys get it. It's like in the
You know what I'm saying?
Are you explaining the
concept of hump day to me?
No, I mean, they got it. They got No.
Anyway, I see all this going on.
I should What's up?
What you got up on the agenda today?
Get wild, we gonna wild out
Well, since you asked,
I have an interview with Sister
Circle and then a couple phoners
and then the boys'
parent-teacher conference.
Wow.
Couple of phoners.
Might want to take some Adderall,
Red Bull, or something,
- make sure you can get through all that.
- What?
- What are you saying?
- Nothing. Have a good day.
Hump Hump day. I got you out back.
- Bye!
- [KENYA] Workforce guys.
Ask me how many times he's been
to a parent-teacher conference.
Know what? Let me save you
the energy and tell you, never.
- Not once.
- Jo, you are a great mom. You're per
[GASPS]
Oh, my God! Lupe! Lupe,
take the scissors out of his
Baby, don't hurt yourself! Okay. Okay.
Oh, God.
[DREA EXHALING]
Dude, I think I started some
real shit with Mom and Dad.
- Did you come out?
- What?
No. Why would you say that?
Forget it. Look, please don't
make Mom and Dad mad.
I was going to ask them
for money tonight
for my summer trip to Tulum.
That's the problem with this
family. Money has ruined us.
Mom's suddenly a socialite
and Dad's walking around
here like he's Citizen Kane.
It's going to tear them apart.
And when, what I'm sure will be a messy,
expensive, drawn-out,
decade-long divorce
that ends with two brand-new beach
houses for the divorce lawyers
and us living in some kind
of condo in Panorama City
it's going to tear us apart too.
Did you even hear what I said?
I said Tulum, the clean,
dog-less part of Mexico
that they just discovered.
Did you hear me?
We're going to be broke, Chloe.
I mean, you and I will probably
be okay, we weren't born rich.
But these kids were born with means,
they're like DJ Khaled's kid.
DJ Khaled
[WOMAN] Asahd, did Lexus
send you your own car?
Wow! Say, "thank you."
And what is that stuff
on the hardwood floors?
- Oh. That's carpet.
- What?
- Care-pit?
- No, carpet.
It's like an area rug that
goes to the edge of the room.
- That's insane!
- What the
Who's that changing your diaper?
Oh, crap, that's Dad.
Wait, you didn't have a Lupe?
Or a Rosa?
- Or a Vera Lee?
- No.
But who cleaned your room?
Or washed the dishes Mom
and Dad told you to wash?
- We did.
- By ourselves.
- That's disgusting.
- Ew.
I know. It's why I'm so independent.
Yeah. I love it.
Hey, Mom.
That's great.
Yeah.
Jas, let me ask you a question.
Do you think I'm going
to run into any trouble
if I call myself a lawyer
in this interview?
I guess you could. I mean, I
I wouldn't care, but other
hard-working lawyers
who take this profession
seriously, they might.
I mean, I wouldn't, but
they might.
No, you are a lawyer.
You are a wife, and you're
mother of six kids.
This is our platform.
This is where we live.
This is our two-step.
Uh, who is that over there
giving you awful advice?
That is Lavette, my publicist.
Hi! Hey, girl. Hey.
- [JOYA] She's the best.
- You have a publicist?
I do. She's very expensive.
It's all relative.
Relative to what?
You know what, girl?
I'm coming over there.
[DREA] So
do you have a publicist?
Of course I don't have a publicist.
Why would I need a publicist?
["NEW GENERATION" BY THE
UNIVERSALS PLAYING]
[CONSTANT TWEETING CHIMES]
Okay, I may need a publicist,
but your mom does not.
Like, at all.
Social media is out there, right?
Whether you like it or not.
So that means your name is out there.
So it's my job to get
in front of the story,
to help you create your own narrative.
It's a burgeoning new business.
Kind of like poke restaurants.
I think you mean poké.
With an accent.
Oh, really? Is that
how you pronounce it?
Pretty sure.
Oh! Well, I'll just have
to check on that.
Anyway, I represent two of the wives
of the defensive linemen for the 49ers.
I also represent a few NBA wives,
Steve Harvey's first wife.
And I'm also meeting
with his second wife.
We're gonna meet at the Soho House.
Is that how you say that?
Yeah.
All right, so Jo, you're a wife,
a very accomplished corporate attorney,
you are a loving mother of six,
and now you've got this
fantastic book coming out.
So sometimes I like to do a
mock interview with my clients,
just to make sure they're game ready.
So why the second act and why now?
What the fuck did you just say to me?
Why now?
And it was at that moment,
for some reason,
my mom had gone full Dad.
You never want to go full Dad.
Is that what you said?
I'll tell you "why now."
Because black women never get
a chance to have a second act,
which makes sense if you
think about our first act,
because that was crazy.
We were basically brought to this
country to breed, and that's it.
It was like real life Handmaid's Tale.
And people were like, "What if that
happened! Could you imagine?"
Yes, we could imagine! 'Cause
it happened! To black women.
Okay.
[JOYA] And the civil rights
movement was no different!
We were glad to be a part of it
and it wouldn't have
happened without us.
But it came with the cost of us
missing out on the feminist movement,
because they happened at the same
time, so we had to make a choice.
Were we going to be black or
were we going to be women?
And when our sons, brothers and fathers
were being hosed down in the streets,
it wasn't that hard of a choice to make.
And thank God we made that choice
because we carried the weight
of that movement on our backs,
which is what we always do.
We've always had to take
care of everyone else.
We've always had to be pragmatic
even when we're dreaming.
It's fucking exhausting.
For white women, the idea
of being a kept woman
has been around since
the beginning of time,
but don't let it happen with us.
We get lucky enough to marry someone
who wants to take care of us,
and it's "Oh, my God! It's a black woman
someone wants to love and take
care of. Give me a camera!"
Next thing you know, there's
like seven TV shows about it.
So you want to know why
I'm going to take my second act now?
I'm gonna tell you why.
Because this is the
first time in history
that we have had the
opportunity and the freedom
to be doctors, to be
lawyers, to be senators,
to even run for president.
Now that we can do that,
if I can get my foot in the door,
if I can break through, if I can
accomplish one of those things,
you better believe I can do
whatever the fuck I wanna
do afterwards, okay?
Okay.
I mean, the other option
is you could just say
you're looking for a new challenge.
Or "No comment."
- [LAVETTE] Yeah.
- Yeah, I don't think talking is
the important part.
It's the book.
The book.
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
Really doesn't get old.
- That is a classic.
- It is. It's a classic.
Oh, man, you know what?
- Too funny.
- I got a really good one too.
Emily, can you type "Thanos"
into Google real quick?
Yeah. Yeah.
Just click on the glove right there.
And watch what happens.
- Look at that.
- [ALL] Oh!
- [LAUGHING] Right?
- [ALL REACTING]
- What? Hey, that's pretty dope.
- [NELSON] Just like they did in the movie.
- [BROADWAY] That's kinda dope.
- [NELSON] Exactly, like that.
- Half of it gone.
- Yeah, just like the movie.
- What?
- Those dudes are nerdy as hell at Google.
Oh, my God! Wait, you guys.
I have something really
funny too. Hold on.
Hey, Em. Can you type
in "problems in Darfur"
and click on images?
- Uh
- Okay.
This feels different.
- [SIGHING]
- My God, there's 34 million results.
- [NELSON] Yeah. Oh, my God.
- This isn't better than Thanos?
Half of these people are dying too.
Only thing is, they're actually real.
- [EXHALING]
- [JEROME] It's just
[MIKAYLA] Oh, we don't care
about this stuff, right?
- [LEEZA] Of course we care.
- It's just not hilarious.
- [MIKAYLA] Interesting.
- We're not gonna write about it today.
You You keep us hostage
to your wokeness.
- Like we're
- That's perfectly put.
Don't get me wrong. Mikayla
is awesome, you know?
She's really smart, she's
cool, she's super cute.
[SIGHS]
If there was one little
thing I would change,
it's her entire and
complete approach to life.
I mean, seriously,
she hates it. She hates life.
Why would you even
become a comedy writer?
But I mean, she's great, and super cute.
Why do I keep saying that?
Let's get back to work.
- Seriously, let's get into the story.
- [NELSON] All right.
- My God.
- [KENYA] We've been here for two hours.
Yeah, it's time to work.
Do you remember I have
to leave early today
for my son's thing at school?
Um, okay.
- If you have to.
- Oh. Uh
Well,
I mean, I I guess I could see
if my husband could go instead,
but I
No. No, it's it's
It's fine. Seriously.
Are you sure? Because it
kind of doesn't feel fine.
Leez, it's fine. Look, I get it.
You're a mom who has a job and
you're trying to manage both of them.
That's admirable,
you know what I'm saying?
You're not managing this one,
you know, great, but I feel like
I'm also into the fact
that you probably made an
agreement with your husband,
and you're sticking to that,
which is super great.
I respect that, trust me.
You know, but you're not
sticking to this one very great,
but it's cool. Seriously.
Do what you have to do.
I got kids too, but I'm here.
[SIGHING] I can I can
You know what? I can cancel.
Honestly, you can go.
No, it's okay. I'm gonna stay.
Okay.
Okay.
You cool, playboy?
Yeah, I'm
I'm cool. I'm I'm coolio.
All right. Let's get back to work.
And you are staying?
- Yeah, I'm staying.
- She's staying. Okay.
Your choice, though.
Wanna take five real quick?
- [BROADWAY] Yeah, I think we should.
- Yeah.
- You're staying, though, right?
- Yeah.
- You're in?
- [SNIFFLING]
[KENYA] Okay, cool.
One thing I hate?
Fucking crying at work.
It makes everybody feel weird.
Check that shit at the door, dude.
Don't bring your emotions
to work, work is work.
Leave the personal stuff at home.
Me and Jo had an agreement!
We had a deal!
You renege on a deal in the streets,
in the streets you can end up dead.
- That's real talk. Real real.
- [KENYA] That's the rule of the streets.
So you're saying he's
going to kill his wife.
- He's not going to kill his wife.
- I mean, a deal is a deal.
Wait, what what is it
that you're actually saying?
[LEEZA] Oh, my gosh.
Dude, I'm telling you.
This is not the woman I married.
- Really?
- No.
What, do you think it's,
like, a man trapped inside?
Like on some reverse
Bruce Jenner type shit?
Caitlyn! Her name is Caitlyn!
His mama named him Bruce.
I'm finna call him Bruce.
- God, you are so ignorant.
- Bitch, you ignorant.
[ALL OVERLAPPING] Whoa.
- [LEEZA] Okay, ow.
- [BROADWAY] Damn!
I know that Broadway probably
went through a lot as a kid,
but my God, he's like a character
out of a Hughes brothers movie.
I don't think you can
call a woman a bitch.
I have the HR manual. You cannot.
[MIKAYLA] Thank you.
Their name is Caitlin, right?
- That's how we's to be
- Better.
So you're saying your wife has changed.
That's not the woman I married.
I married a lawyer.
Yo, blood, I mean, she's still a lawyer.
Matter of fact, she's helping
me prep my slip and fall case
I got against a children's hospital.
What?
I mean, I appreciate everything
they did for little Broadway, but
man, them floors in the burn
ward are hella overwaxed.
My God.
How How is little Broadway?
Thanks for asking. He's good.
Both eyes are almost open now.
[MIKAYLA] Oh, my God.
How did he get burned
in the first place,
if you don't mind me asking?
I don't know. I wasn't there.
Oh, were you
here?
[KENYA GROANS]
I mean, he's a lot.
- A lot.
- Yeah.
Like, he's just in my grill all day.
I feel not even comfortable
in my own house
'cause he's just watching
every little move,
fuckin' micromanaging me.
This morning,
he was mad because I didn't
physically take the kids to school.
I mean, who cares?
- Did they make it there?
- Mm.
A Are you asking?
Because I don't know.
I mean, I hope they made it.
I mean, there's probably
somebody that knows, right?
Yeah, me. I know. I'm their
mom. I got them there.
You know, I I
actually agree with you.
Maybe he's, like, sipping Lean
or something. I don't know.
- [SCOFFS]
- [JASMINE] What?
Sipping Lean. It's like
the new hot thing.
It's not new, and you know
when someone's sipping Lean.
- Lean is cheap and it's easy to hide.
- Oh, my God.
I don't It's not that, but I do
not know what his problem is.
I mean, I kept up my end
of the bargain, right?
I didn't work for a while,
but now I am contributing
financially again
- because of the book
- [BOTH] Yeah.
and now I've regained some
of the ground that I lost to him.
- But he's now just fucking with me!
- Wait, wait.
- Sorry, you lost ground to him?
- [JOYA] Yeah.
I mean, you're talking about all
of this like you guys are at war.
I'm sorry, as someone who
represents several women
who were previously married,
they are definitely at war.
- Mm-hm.
- Come on!
And you remember, Jas,
I mean, I was the one who
was making more money.
I was the breadwinner.
I get it, but I just don't think
that, um, there should be a
competition between you guys.
"Breadwinner" has the
word "winner" in it.
- Implies that there's a breadloser.
- [LAVETTE AND JASMINE CHUCKLE]
Do I look like a loser to you?
Oh, my God, no wonder you're
getting such wack vibes outta him.
Come on!
I mean, isn't marriage
supposed to be a partnership?
Spoken like a true breadloser.
- [SCOFFS]
- [JASMINE] Okay.
I'm just saying, seriously, like,
this is Is this what
you guys agreed on?
Girl, he was super
supportive about this.
He was like, "Take time off!
Take all the time you need!"
- [LAVETTE] Yeah, they start like that.
- And then, all of a sudden,
acted like he hit his
head and had amnesia.
I mean, but hadn't you just almost died?
I mean, people say all kinds of
shit during a traumatic experience.
I thought I was going to
die during a flight once,
and it was rough, and I let
a guy give me cunnilingus.
A stranger.
And that didn't count.
Oh, no, that absolutely counted,
and you can absolutely take him
literally because you two had a deal.
- Right?
- Yes.
He reneged on an agreement.
That's the kind of shit you
get shot for in the streets.
That's the kind of shit
that'll get you fucked up.
That's what I'm saying.
- A deal is a deal.
- It's some bullshit. For sure.
Do you understand how crazy it is
to think that, in this world,
the idea of two successful
black people being married
is, like, almost insane?
I never even thought it was possible
until I saw The Cosby Show.
And as soon as I saw that,
I was like, "That's what I want."
And that's what me and Jo
were. And now we're not.
I mean, can't you cut
her a little slack?
She worked really hard for over 20 years
and she had, like, 15 kids for you.
[KENYA] You sound ridiculous.
Leeza, she had, like, six kids,
And every day of her life has basically
been like the life of Riley.
Didn't she almost die in childbirth?
That was, like, three years ago.
She's been fine ever since.
You know your dad's a bad guy, right?
- Yeah, you know it.
- I
I'm not saying I don't understand
people growing and maturing
and changing and all that dumb shit.
But like, what's up with her
suddenly wanting to be
like, an influencer, slash author,
slash whatever the
fuck it is she's doing?
What's that all about?
Maybe she's just an attention whore.
Dawg, do you have to
call my wife a whore?
Oh, okay, then.
I just thought that "attention bitch"
would be so much more disrespectful,
but I don't know y'all relationship.
All right, just pause,
Broadway. Stop talking.
Um
Maybe she's trying to
protect her marriage.
This is relationship insurance.
She's branding the two of
you as a power couple.
That way, if you step out, you're
not just stepping out on her.
You're stepping out
on the beloved brand.
[ALL] Whoa.
[NELSON] Damn!
That shit is diabolical.
It's personal branding.
Yes, JoJo! Yes.
And I got to be the Hollywood
wife and arm candy
whether I like it or not, right?
And I'm the smart, pretty lawyer
that elevates his game.
So why can't I use the same
thing to elevate my game now?
- [LAVETTE] Absolutely.
- You know, I get it.
You know, I get all of it.
But you know,
don't you think all of this and that
is just a bit much?
Who's that? That's one of Jo's
friends who was fucking some guy
that she just met on the
airplane. I don't know.
Do I think that's too much?
- Hell no.
- Okay.
No, this, all of this,
is reparations, okay?
Between breastfeeding,
studying for the bar,
helping the kids study
for their stupid tests,
being in my heels all day
running around in court,
then coming home, making
sure everybody's fed.
Not to mention the fact
that I got to run back out
for all of his last-minute
red carpet events,
and make sure I don't look ratchet
next to some Brazilian broad
who's been in the spa all day.
I mean, I haven't slept for 15 years.
So yes, hell yes, I'm
grabbing my moment.
I put his ass in the spotlight
so I'mma take some of that too.
Well, what about your girls?
What about my girls?
I mean, don't you think just
giving up a high-powered position
might have an effect on them?
Giving up? I didn't give
anything up. I'm just
starting something new.
I teach my kids to bet on themselves
and to take risks like their mom does.
Guys, that was just my
friend who used to do Lean.
He ran down all the symptoms.
We have a serious problem.
Oh, my God.
Well
Well, what?
Is what I'm doing having
a positive effect on you?
Oh, my God. Yes! Mom, you're killing it.
I mean, you're a dope lawyer
and you look better than
all of my friends' moms.
And now have a book that
you're about to drop on 'em
and shut down Borders.
I think Borders is already shut down.
Okay, shut up, nerd.
My point is
you are "goals."
- Thanks, babe.
- No problem.
Drea?
[DREA] Hm?
I mean, you're definitely "goals,"
depending on what your goals are.
And what's that supposed to mean?
You should just do whatever you want
and not worry about what I think.
Yeah, that's that is not
how motherhood works at all.
[CHUCKLES]
If you're asking if I still
wish you were practicing
the answer is
um
Yeah?
complicated.
I mean, when you were working
a lot, there were definitely times
where you seemed seconds
from a mental breakdown.
I was.
There was
weeks years actually,
that I wasn't sure I was
going to make it through.
To be honest, your whole childhood.
But the only reason I
barely kept it together
was because you needed me to.
What I mean is,
you're the reason I'm so driven.
Watching you hustle had
a huge impact on me.
Even as a little kid, I saw the
impact it had on other people
when I told them my mom was a lawyer.
It made me feel proud.
But
now that I'm old enough to actually
see you argue a case in court,
I can't.
Just because we can't
see her do it right now
doesn't mean we'll never
see her do it again.
Or maybe you do something
that'll inspire us more.
[SCOFFS] I guess I didn't
think of it like that.
For what it's worth, Mom,
I'm always going to be proud of you
because you're kind of my hero.
But I do hope that I get the chance
to see you in action again,
somewhere.
Everywhere that I go
Everywhere that I be
If you are not surrounding me
With your energy
["BLESSED" BY DANIEL CAESAR CONTINUES]
Yo.
- Yo, what's up?
- What up?
- Crazy fucking day, dude.
- I bet. Mine too.
- Please don't say anything smart.
- I'm not.
New Gucci slides? Are those new?
I don't know. Maybe. Why?
[KENYA] 'Cause Forget it.
I can't say anything.
What's up, dude?
What What are you talking about?
Like, there's obviously a problem here.
All right, you wanna know
what my problem is, Jo?
- Yeah.
- It's that I'm trying, man.
I just don't know that
this is working for me.
Whatever it is we're doing.
Okay. [SCOFFS] Well
this not working for you
is not working for me.
Of course.
So, like, instead of just being weird,
why not come talk to me about
the way you're feeling?
What do you think I'm trying to do now?
I was trying to do it, but What
does it matter, dude? We're here.
What is going on, man?
Like, it used to be me and
you, like Bonnie & Clyde,
Jay and B, like
all of a sudden now,
I feel like we're more
competitors than partners.
What are you talking about?
You've always been competitive.
- You're, like, the king of competition.
- Can I please finish?
Yeah.
I don't know what's going on,
but whether it's silly
shit or work shit,
I'm always It's like you're
always trying to one-up me.
I don't want to use
the word "jealous"
But you just did.
Okay, you know what it is?
Honestly?
And you're not gonna like this, but
I feel like you have beef with me
because you wake up next to someone
every day who loves what they do,
and you haven't quite figured out
what it is you want to do yet
and I'm paying the price for it.
I can't believe that you would think
that, and then say it out loud.
And by the way, if it were true,
just for the sake of argument,
okay, let's say I was unhappy,
wouldn't it kind of be on
my partner, my husband,
the father of my six kids to, like,
support me? Like, talk me through that?
Figure my shit out with me
instead of just, like
being angry and resentful
and throwing little jabs
at me on a daily basis?
I'm not trying to throw
jabs at you, dude.
I'm just saying, like, I
I don't even recognize you sometimes.
I had a tiny bit of contouring.
No, I'm not talking about that, dude!
You know what? Maybe
I am talking about that.
When did I suddenly not realize
that you hated the life
we built together so much?
I don't hate the life we built together.
It's just very different.
This It's changed!
It's not what we
But we knew that that would happen.
We knew what we were headed
to together. We had a plan.
And I feel like, all of a sudden,
it feels like you abandoned that plan,
you know, because we got some money.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, wow.
Seriously. What a fucking asshole.
- Okay, I'm 'Cause I'm
- I was the money, okay?
- I know that! I know that!
- I busted my ass!
Worked, was a mother, was your wife,
worked all the time so that
you could have the freedom
to just, like, go off
and come up with whatever stupid
shit you were coming up with.
- Stupid shit? Really?
- That's because of me.
But my stupid shit is
paying for this life.
Okay? And nobody's saying
that you didn't bust your ass
or don't bust your ass or aren't dope.
You're my girl, like, I love you.
But all of a sudden,
with you not working,
you now have more nannies,
more housekeepers,
you've somehow convinced the
gardener to start washing the cars.
That's just efficient.
But what is that efficiency getting us?
Other than, what,
you to become the basketball-wife
version of John Grisham?
Okay, you know what? I'm
I'm just going to walk away now
because this is about to get ugly.
And I'mma take my basketball-wife,
John Grisham ass upstairs,
take a bath, have a glass of wine.
You're welcome to join me,
but if you don't, that's cool.
- I'm just not going to do this.
- You're not gonna do what?
I'm not doing I'm just
not doing this ugliness.
Okay.
In the movies, we always see
that arguments have an ending.
But in real life, they don't.
They just stop to start up again.
And the best you can hope for is that
- the arguments keep starting up.
- Fuck.
If I could I swear I'll go back
Make everything all better