Haunted Hotel (2025) s01e07 Episode Script

1
Can't pay. Can't pay.
Can pay, but won't because the man
on the phone was rude to me.
My dentist! Did he mention me?
Oh!
Ugh! Esther, grab that pen. It hides
in the vents and clicks all night.
In a minute.
I'm teaching Abaddon Connect Four.
Oh, four connections is trivial.
I've connected things
you could not imagine.
Heads to feet, elbows to teeth,
the very souls of men
to that which they most despise.
-I win!
-Pretty sneaky, Sis.
Sneaky indeed.
We play again.
Maybe we can not use water this month.
Soda month!
That'll get the dentist
responding to my texts.
-Did you fall through the ceiling?
-You know, it looks like I did.
I didn't even know that was possible.
Why can ghosts walk through walls,
but walk on floors?
One of afterlife's mysteries.
Didn't mean to scare ya.
Even though that's what ghosts do.
Boo! I kid.
Yes. Another connection.
Soon the prophecy will be fulfilled.
-I win again.
-Damn you and all who come after!
Seriously, Nathan, what's up?
More like what's down.
Me. See ya!
Yeah, all good now.
See, why can he touch the mantle?
I guess it's like the floor of the wall?
Maybe just stay downstairs.
With you doinks?
Uh, sorry for calling you doinks.
Ben, I don't think you should be
texting your dentist so much.
Huge news. This couch folds out.
The old screwdriver, huh?
More of a hammer man myself.
-How'd you say this happened?
-Uh, devil bears.
Uh-huh. Well, that should do it.
Really? It seems crooked,
and it doesn't actually close.
It'll settle.
Hey, you're the repairman, okay?
I'm just the guy paying
with money from his mom.
-Was that the repairman?
-Don't worry. I paid and tipped him.
Ben, the door's still broken.
Oh, no. He said it'll settle.
-That did seem wrong though.
-Then why did you let him leave?
He's a handyman.
He's fixed more doors than I've ever seen.
What do I know?
You know when a door is broken.
There's a confident Ben in there.
I just want him to come out.
Totally.
How do I get him out?
Wait, you hear that clicking?
I hear you down there.
You've gotta come out for ink eventually.
-Wow, that was brutal.
-What was brutal?
Your own mother
telling you you're not confident.
She actually said
there's a confident Ben inside me.
Although she didn't say where.
And, hey, how is that more brutal
than you stabbing people?
I stab bodies.
Your mom stabbed your existence.
Good luck, man.
And Elmer was like, "You can't join
murder club unless you've been murdered."
Which is so rich
because Elmer wasn't murdered.
He fell off a boat while being chased--
Uncle Nathan?
All good.
Are you still falling through floors?
On… …and off.
I don't get it.
I've been a ghost for months.
Why is this happening now?
-God dang it.
-You're just overthinking this.
Like Abaddon and Connect Four.
You've betrayed me.
Connecting that which
I did not wish connected.
Do not fail me again!
Just don't think
about how you fall through the floor.
Right, not thinking about it.
Mind is a blank. Let's go!
Why does this floor stop me?
I mean, it's all just wood.
Esther! I'm in the basement, FYI.
Let out the confident Ben.
Let him out. Confident Ben, you are free.
If you wanna be, which you do.
I'm going into this room,
and I don't care what anyone thinks.
Maybe I'd be more confident in pants.
-Huh?
-Are you kidding?
These calves are my best feature.
Next to hair, eyes, and personality.
-Honestly, it's all pretty good.
-Evil Ben!
Ben, calm down. I'm not Evil Ben.
That's what Evil Ben would say!
But it's also what
a not-Evil Ben would say. What are you?
Hey, until a few seconds ago, I was you.
Looking at the wardrobe,
wishing I was more confident.
Then I was in the wardrobe,
feeling confident. So call me…
Confident Ben.
I'm getting Mom.
Whoa, whoa! Hold on a second, my man.
This is a golden opportunity for hijinks.
We can be in two places at once.
Hey, we can take turns skipping school.
We could do trust falls
and know the other person would catch us.
-But won't Mom find out?
-Not if we're smart about this.
-Hi, Mom.
-Hi, Mom!
Well, there goes my only day off.
-Gosh dang it.
-Ben, I said I go in first.
-I thought you meant I as in me.
-One of you is Ben, right?
-Yes.
-Oh yeah.
Sorry, do you wanna know which one?
I want Ben to tell me what happened
to make him two Bens right now.
Wow, it's a bit of a long story.
Open door, magic wardrobe,
wished to be confident.
Ben, we've talked about this.
No making wishes inside the hotel.
He's going back in the wardrobe.
I like a mom
who's not afraid to give orders.
I bet a lot of people
don't see you coming.
He's so confident.
He's going back in the wardrobe.
Uncle Nathan?
Uncle Nathan?
Uncle Nathan?
Esther!
Oh, you met the Snatcher.
-Oh, we were just talking.
-I came down to help you.
I found someone else down here
who can help me. Come on.
Snatch ya later!
This is my niece, Esther.
Esther, this is Friedrich.
He's a friend, a psychologist,
and a guy who stood for too long
behind an angry horse.
As I was telling your uncle,
his current condition is not uncommon.
It is what happens to ghosts
whose existence loses meaning.
The ghost becomes
untethered from this plane.
So he can't climb up stairs anymore.
Big deal.
All the best stuff is downstairs anyway.
Kitchens, dog houses, pools.
No, wait. Rooftop pools.
Unchecked, the problem will worsen
until you cannot stand on any ground
and sink to the core of the Earth.
I wish you well.
Did he say I'm going to sink
into the core of the Earth?
Like the core core? Like, the middle part?
Not if I can help it. Friedrich said
ghosts sink when they lose meaning,
so all we have to do
is find the meaning of life.
-Ah, you mean death.
-Yeah, that too.
So how does it work?
I don't know. I looked in the mirror,
and then he came out.
Well, hey, we know one thing.
It turns Bens into tens.
-True.
-Not true.
And if this thing can make him appear,
it can make him disappear.
-I don't think I'm going anywhere.
-Maybe it needs both of you.
Wait, his charisma makes me uneasy.
How's it going in there, bud?
-Okay.
-Fantastic.
Let's just accept it, Mom.
This is our life now.
On the bright side, you'll get
twice as many pancakes on Mother's Day.
And mine will ruin
all other pancakes for you.
We can't just accept this.
We don't know what's happening to you.
What if this is a cursed wardrobe
that's slowly killing you?
-That's an option?
-I'm sure it's not.
-Then why mention it?
-Because it's a slight possibility.
That's what an option is.
We should get out of here.
Agh! What kind of bug is that?
Ah, pretty sure that's Scared Ben.
Okay, that's… good data.
We can figure this out.
Uh, Ben?
Yes?
Oh, I'm gonna get tired of that.
Eat up, Bens.
-Ta-da! No…
-I've seen this one before.
Agh, another bug!
Maybe if the wardrobe makes more of you,
there's a cabinet somewhere
that makes less of you.
-Ben?
-Sorry.
Hey, maybe we'll think better
if we take a nap in a sunbeam.
H-Hang on. Which Ben are you?
-Oh, I'm Cat Ben. Why?
-Ben?
Yes?
-Original Ben.
-Speaking.
Are you washing everyone's dishes?
Uh, yeah. I asked Free Spirit Ben to help,
but he said
it's too beautiful out for dishes.
My soul is a butterfly,
and my feet are birds!
Ah. Dang it!
Uh, I got it. You sit down.
Thanks, Dad Ben. It slipped.
I know it did, bud.
Just like I know
you'll do better next time.
Aw. Thanks, Dad Ben.
So, who's sleeping in my bed tonight?
I feel like it should be me,
but I'll hear other arguments.
Should be me.
But we won't be doing much sleeping,
right, Magician Ben?
-Horny Ben means--
-Yeah, okay, I know what he means.
-And can we not call him Horny Ben?
-Oh, I know what I am.
You seem stressed.
Of course I'm stressed.
There's eight versions of my son.
-There's not a book on how to fix this.
-I hear you, Katherine.
Times like these,
you need to write your own book.
We'll just help you turn the pages.
Thank you, Dad Ben.
That was weirdly comforting.
Agh! What the hell was that?
The front door fell off.
Anyone wanna take to the sea?
So the door did settle.
-I'll call a new repairman.
-You relax. Let us handle it.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
none of you are Handy Ben.
-One of us is Handsy Ben.
-I'm your mother.
You ain't wrong.
We're not handy. But we are persuasive.
Hey, Bens, what do you say
we go pay that repairman a visit?
Repairman a visit.
That was my thought also, as a Ben.
Stay. Your best Bens are on it.
When I get back,
you and me are playing catch.
Do you think we can figure out
the meaning of existence on our own?
It feels like people have been kicking
the tires on that one for a while now.
Which is why I called in reinforcements.
-Heather!
-Hey, Esther.
-Why did I have to wait outside?
-It's called a dramatic reveal.
How are you so smart and so clueless?
-Heather's a ghost expert?
-Why would I be a ghost expert?
Heather, I'm only saying this once.
My uncle Nathan is a ghost.
He's gonna sink
into the core of the Earth forever
unless we help him
find the meaning of existence.
Since you're a super nerd
with insanely good handwriting,
you're my assistant.
-Can I tell my dad ghosts are real?
-Go nuts.
-Is my grandma here?
-Did she die here, Heather?
The hotel's haunted, Abaddon's a demon,
and the pool sometimes fills with slime.
Let's move on.
Who's Abaddon?
Rematch me, or I eat all the pieces.
We're busy. Try not to choke.
So, meaning of existence?
There's no one meaning.
Nietzsche said
that everyone has a different meaning.
Heather's right! We ask all the ghosts
what their meaning is,
then we'll combine them all
and have the answer for you.
The Cowturducken of Meaning.
How long will this take?
I need to text my dad.
-You're staying for dinner!
-Ooh, can we do spaghetti?
We haven't done spaghetti night for weeks.
You can eat?
Heather, Heather, Heather.
I can't.
-Meow.
-What are you doing here?
I was just wondering
when you're coming by the hotel
to fix the door that we paid you to fix.
I finished fixing that door, remember?
Hiss.
We're not mad you didn't fix the door.
We're just disappointed.
Get out!
Get!
-What?
-Hope you're DTF.
-Down to fix.
-Get out!
W… w… what do you want?
For you to finish what you started.
-You actually came back.
-I did what you wanted.
Stay out of my house.
And away from my cereal!
-Look at him go!
-You're all hanging out without me?
Not all of us.
Dad Ben's cleaning the windows.
Guys, you should really be doing this
every six months.
Ben! Did you see?
The other Bens got the door fixed.
And then I found this laser pointer,
and Cat Ben is going nuts for it.
Oh, I'm Horny Ben.
I just like being teased.
I'm Cat Ben. And I'm feeling shy.
I'm coming around to these Bens.
Even Scared Ben.
I put a night light in every room.
But should we come around to them?
I thought the plan was to get back
to one Ben, with me being that Ben.
-Doesn't Ben have piano lessons now?
-That's right. Ben, you're late.
Technically, I've had
more piano lessons than any of the Bens.
So maybe one of them should go instead?
Free Spirit Ben?
Wait, are you giving yourself a tattoo?
It's a symbol I made up,
and only I know what it means.
It means gentle tides.
-We'll see you after your lesson.
-Why do you smell like my deodorant?
Ah, Benny Boy. Why do you think?
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
So you seem well-adjusted.
What gives your existence meaning?
-Candles.
-Interesting. Is it collecting candles?
Lighting the candles?
Candles!
Maybe "candles" is a metaphor for--
Candles!
When you're a ghost
And you gotta find a meaning
Or else you're gonna sink
Into the core of the Earth
There's gotta be a meaning
That's super-duper meaningful
Like following ants
Or maybe writing a song
Find a meaning before I'm gone forever
Getting a purpose
With a little help from Esther
I'm starting to think
That a song wasn't the way to go
But at least now I know
Yeah!
You are the one they call Heather?
You are the one they call Abaddon.
So we know of each other.
Then you know my value.
And also my struggle.
I should keep following Esther.
Or you could switch your allegiance to me.
And then, when the time comes,
I will ask something of you.
And together, we will connect hundreds.
Sure.
Heather! Get your amazing brain over here!
He looks like he knows a few things.
Hey, you! What gives your existence
meaning as a ghost?
I'm a ghost?
Ooh.
Is there a hidden button?
Come on, suck the Bens back in already!
Why are you doing this?
-Uh, hi, Bens.
-Hi, Ben.
I was just saying
to the wardrobe this isn't really working.
Oh, I agree.
You see, Ben, we've been talking.
And more.
And we have a theory
about what the wardrobe does.
Yeah, it pulls out
different parts of a person.
It sure does, bud. But why?
Maybe it's so a person
can stop lying to himself
and see his true strengths and weaknesses.
Maybe the only way to come back together
is to destroy the part holding him back.
The worst version of himself.
Ha!
Is that a bouquet of flowers?
Ta-da!
Okay, Heather. What've we got?
Let's see. Moving a curtain.
Watching ants. Watching birds.
Watching ants eat dead birds.
TV, TV, TV, and candles.
That's it? If that's all there is,
why are any of us here?
Don't say that. I'm trying my best.
What about me? I mean, us.
Me, Ben, Mom. We give you meaning, right?
Of course.
I thought?
Why would thinking
about family make you sink?
-Am I not enough?
-You are.
Well, I… I think it's just that family
is such an abstract concept.
Maybe the trick's to not think.
No, that's not it.
Uncle Nathan!
-Where are you going?
-I'm getting shovels!
Uh-oh. Looks like Cat Ben has the zoomies.
For the love of God!
I'm not Cat Ben. I'm Classic Ben!
And all the other Bens are trying
to kill me so they can reunite
because they think I'm the worst Ben,
and maybe I am!
Ben, of course you're not.
Oh, really? You're the one who told me
I needed to be more confident,
and now the confident version
is out there saying I need to die!
Wait. This is because of me?
Ben, I--
Here's Benny!
-You hit me in the face.
-I'm getting you out of here.
A secret passageway? Insane!
Just keep crawling!
No running inside, sport.
Trying to disappear on me?
-Agh!
-Oh!
I'm horny.
We get it! You all have a thing.
Honey, the acid's kicking in.
This kitty's got claws.
I don't understand
how you're a part of me!
Stop biting me!
-You bit me first.
-That may have been me.
-Mom, pull me out!
-How do I know you're Ben?
Because I prepared
for this exact situation
by drawing a duck on my stomach.
Sorry, what does that do?
Oh, right. I forgot
to tell you about the duck.
Uh, but do any of the other Bens
have ducks on their stomachs?
Sure don't, but now we know
which Ben to kill.
-No, stop! Please!
-This is the only way he'll learn.
Wait! You don't know that killing me
will make you come back together.
Maybe you have to kill
the worst two! Or three!
Or maybe this just keeps going
until only the best Ben survives!
He's right. And the best Ben is me.
You?
It's me.
Again.
Okay, okay.
Deep breaths.
Maybe it's my time.
Uh, the core could be nice.
Oh no, no!
Core is bad! Hard pass on the core!
Who makes these rules?
I don't know what's keeping me here.
TV? Dancing?
Making a high-pitched sound and telling
Katherine I don't hear the sound?
Spaghetti night?
Spaghetti night? Seriously?
We haven't even had one for weeks!
We haven't had one for weeks!
But we could! I mean, we will?
We will!
Ha-ha! The boy is back in town!
You made it back!
Can I stop digging?
In a minute, Heather!
Hey, cut it out! Hands to yourself!
You know what I mean.
Bens! Wait, look at your hands!
I think whatever happens to one Ben
happens to all of you.
But if that's true,
why don't I have a tattoo on my…
Ah, Ben. Who will want you now?
Ben?
I'm sorry I made you doubt yourself.
All I ever want
is for you to be who you are.
I mean, look at you.
Oh, I'm looking.
And you like all of them more than me.
I like them because they're you.
I told you there was
a confident Ben inside you, and there was.
But you're even more than that.
You're a dreamer,
a caretaker, a performer, a cat!
I like every part of you.
And you should too.
-Horny Ben needs to chill out.
-He won't!
I have an idea
for how to get rid of these Bens.
Hey, whatever it is, I'm sure
it's incredible. And I support you 100%.
We all need to kiss!
-Huh?
-Yes!
And act of self-love. Makes sense.
-Meow!
-Abracada-Ben!
What do you think, Mom?
I… Well, I certainly can't say
it's a bad idea, can I?
Bens, circle up!
Just look into your heart, my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Ay, ay, ay,
Oh, ay, ay, ay
Oh, an, oh, yan
Oh, ay, ay-a
Oh, ay--
It's a lot of hands in pockets.
Ay, ay, ay
Oh, ay, ay, ay--
I don't think it's working.
Maybe we need to do more.
-Maybe you need to go in the wardrobe.
-But we already tried that.
That was before you accepted yourself…
and kissed a bunch.
You too. We need every part of Ben.
-Is it working?
-Working for me.
Maybe we have to say the magic--
Ben?
I'm back. And Benner than ever.
Aw, man, I still have the tattoo?
-Hmm.
-Drop it in the middle.
Why is everybody staring at me?
-You won.
-I did?
Feeble offspring of a lesser god,
I have defeated you!
Now you will taste
the bitter grit of the gray chips!
Gray chips? Wait, is Abaddon colorblind?
What's color?
Spaghetti? But you hated spaghetti night
when we were kids.
I hated eating spaghetti.
But I liked throwing the spaghetti at you,
and then you throwing it at me.
And then Dad yelling at us to stop.
Then Dad throwing spaghetti.
Then Mom telling us
who was mean to her at work.
But spaghetti?
Maybe it's not about the spaghetti.
Maybe it's about
the ritual of a family dinner
and how it reminds Nathan of what
he cares about more than anything.
All of you.
Heather, turn your incredible brain off
for once and eat a meatball!
-How are you feeling?
-Confident, feline, and horny.
Hey, is it crazy to say I feel
slightly less curious than before?
Just look into your heart, my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Ay, ay, ay, oh, ay, ay, ay
Oh, an, oh, yan, oh, ay, ay-a
Oh, ay, oh, an
Oh, ay, ay
The return to innocence
That's the return to innocence