Tom Goes to the Mayor (2004) s02e06 Episode Script
Saxman
0
Come to the grand opening of Lew's Waterbed Galleria!
Home of over 100
waterbed outlets and shops!
Lew's Waterbed Galleria features Luxury King, Prince Victorian, and Preferred Full.
Bunk waterbeds, including
pear- and pearl-shaped bedboxes.
And because Lew's is on the lake,
not just next to it
you'll pay no local taxes!
Right, Lew?
We're shovin' right off,
shovin' right off again!
Ahoy!
I'm not particular to that smell.
- Great set, man. Cool. Really cool.
- Well, all right.
Tom Peters here.
I live around the area.
Here, bro.
I wanted to tell you
your music's wonderful.
Thank you, brother.
I think you're wonderful.
Great, man, cool.
I'd give my left thumb
to be this guy's manager.
Man, you must be making a killing out here with these great tunes, right?
I'm a little bit down on my luck,
to tell you the truth.
They're kicking me out of house and home because of this damn Waterbed Galleria.
What do you mean?
You live here on the boardwalk?
- Yeah, bro. It's a real bummer.
- That doesn't sound fair.
A waterbed! Doesn't anybody
who wants a waterbed have one already?
That's my take on it.
Oh, damn!
Well, tell you what,
Saxman, I may have a quick fix.
My wife is out of town right now visiting her ex-husband.
She doesn't like me
having men stay over, but
Oh, boy.
Well, I could set you up in
my son's pup tent, you know, for a while.
You know what? I could talk to the Mayor about getting a relocation plan together.
That is so sweet, man.
That is so good of you.
Lew, I gotta tell you,
this is just one heck of a bed.
Oh, baby, I knew you were
a waterbed man.
I certainly am, Lew.
I'm sorry.
I should've knocked.
No, it's fine. Lew's just installing
my new waterbed here.
All right, well,
I'll just come on back tomorrow.
All right, get your ass over here and take this bitch for a test drive.
- Isn't it wonderful?
- OK. That's good. Thank you.
It's just like
an amusement park ride, Tom.
Just getting a little
seasick here.
That was fun.
Thanks for stopping by.
I'm sorry. I actually have
a little problem I'd like to discuss.
Great. I love problems.
Well, I'm managing a musician here, and
he's actually
being forced to evacuate
because of Lew's
Waterbed Galleria there.
I'd love that hear that CD-R
Tom, you got something special here.
He actually plays the wind chimes himself on that track.
Oh, boy.
Listen to that melody.
Oh, this is really awful, guys.
Lew, you gotta be kidding me here.
I mean, this music is just beautiful.
He's just got to play your waterbed grand opening.
OK. Well, you know, it's not really what I had in mind, but
yeah, I'm sure we'd be interested in playing live
as long as Lew
doesn't have a problem with it.
Come on now!
Toot-a toot-a the saxophone.
Honk-a honk-a the saxophone.
Tippity-tippity-top,
saxophon-a go honk-a, honk-a.
And I don't like it!
I'm sorry, Tom.
I just don't think Lew can visualize
the power
of the Saxman with just a CD-R.
Let me think. All right, well,
this is just a brainstorm.
OK.
But what if I directed a video of the Saxman
and that way we can show,
you know
I love it.
All right, here we go again.
Now, Saxman
just try and focus with me here.
Action.
Cut, cut!
What? What's wrong now, Saxman?
Well, I'm just used to playing with my shirt off, you know?
A shirt is just confining,
and I have such wind when I
when I blow that I need to
Can I bust out?
Yeah, I guess.
Let's get some shirtless takes.
Let's roll again.
- Roll again.
- Back to one.
Cut, cut, cut, cut.
What is it now, Saxman?
- I just feel uncomfortable.
- Why?
Well, I think it's that I'm the only one with my shirt off now
and that puts me out of balance
with the flow and the vibe of the room.
I'm trying to bring it
you see,
and it's not being brought.
Would you take your shirt off, too?
Just to keep me company?
- OK.
- Great.
Tom, this is really blowing my mind.
Great video.
Great directing.
Well, thanks.
Thank you very much.
But the show's off.
- What?
- I've been thinking about this
and it doesn't make sense
for your Saxman to play Lew's opening.
We'd actually like someone
to sing about Lew's waterbeds
and promotional offers
and your guy's mouth will be tied up toot-a-tooting on his horn.
Well, I mean, let me just throw this out at you.
I mean, I could
If I get some brochures together
educate myself on the waterbeds
maybe I could write
some lyrics for Saxman and
you know, I could sing 'em.
You know I love the sound of your singing voice, Tom.
If we don't ask
for your custom--♪
Excu--
If we don't ask
for your customer code
Your waterbed will be 10% off
- Hey.
- Sorry, Saxman.
You scared me.
Man, what
Why aren't you outside in the pup tent?
Oh, it's so cold out there,
brother. It's frosty.
Wait a minute.
What's that on your legs there?
I found these tiny pants
in this totally fun room.
Those are Brindon's, Saxman.
My son's?
That's my stepson's room you're fiddling around in.
Man, dude, chill out.
Where's the anger coming from?
- I'm sor--
- Is this the way you treat a partner?
I'm just really stressed out about
our concert tomorrow, and, you know
I'm not exactly getting
the luck of the draw with these lyrics.
I have just the thing to
calm you down, my brother.
Yeah, get all snuggly down there.
Saxman, hold on a second.
Let my sax notes
massage your soul, brother.
Sleep, baby, sleep.
OK. Here we go.
Try it.
Let's take it from the top.
Two, three, four.
You're guaranteed to sleep ♪
If we don't ask for your
customer code ♪
Your second mattress ishalf-off ♪
Right.
Maybe you can do a C-sharp.
- You're a half-step off on the half-off.
- I'm just trying to
Half-off
Yep. You're probably right.
Let me just make a note of that here.
Shoot. I'm working in the bass clef here. Darn it.
You know what, Saxman,
let's take 5.
There's actually been something
I wanted to get off my chest this morning.
Did you and your friends come in
the house and have a jazz jam last night?
What? In the house?
No, I slept like a baby
right out there in my pup tent.
That's weird. It's just
No, it's nothing. There's just
There's some piles of B.M.
in my bedroom.
Ijust
SomethingI don't know.
You know what? Forget it.
Let's take it from the top.
Two, three, four.
If we don't ask for your ♪
Cut, cut!
It's not working, man.
It's just not working.
No, we'll get there. We just need to rhyme some of these words.
I haven't Let's see.
What rhymes with consumer price rebate?
No, it's not that.
You're rhyming like a diamond.
it's just that my lips are all chapped.
- I need to wet 'em up. Darn!
- What is it?
Well, the best way is to kiss someone for a while.
You know,
just to moisten up the lips.
OK.
I wouldn't ask you if I knew another way,
but we're burning studio time here and
I don't understand.
You say you want to kiss me?
It's not so much that I want to,
but it's my chops, you know?
Need to touch another man's lips to bring 'em back to life.
All right. I guess a kiss on the mouth
between friends can't hurt.
Joy! You're back!
My step dad with
some man in our kitchen.
Tom Peters' phone.
Tom, it's me.
Where the heck are you?
I'm at home.
I got grounded.
That sucks.
I wish you could've seen the Saxman.
He was great. Yeah.
He made it. I didn't know
if he was going to make it.
He sold about eight or nine CDs.
You'll make a huge profit off this show.
Well, that'swe're not really working together anymore.
Joy doesn't really want me, you know,
hanging around with him, so
That's a bummer. How long are you going to be grounded for?
Probably a couple of weeks.
How was the grand opening?
Everything?
- Yeah, it was great.
- Cool.
Gimble Twins are playing now.
I wish I could see them.
I love the Gimble Twins.
Yeah, they're hilarious.
So Well, I should probably,
you know, get off the phone.
To use the internet?
No, not really.
- All right. Well
- I'll talk to you later.
- OK. Gimme a call later.
- Bye.
You're guaranteed to sleep ♪
If we don't ask
for your customer code
The savings'll be passed on to you
Free delivery
for any double bed set ♪
You're guaranteed to sleep ♪
Abso-lutely.
Come to the grand opening of Lew's Waterbed Galleria!
Home of over 100
waterbed outlets and shops!
Lew's Waterbed Galleria features Luxury King, Prince Victorian, and Preferred Full.
Bunk waterbeds, including
pear- and pearl-shaped bedboxes.
And because Lew's is on the lake,
not just next to it
you'll pay no local taxes!
Right, Lew?
We're shovin' right off,
shovin' right off again!
Ahoy!
I'm not particular to that smell.
- Great set, man. Cool. Really cool.
- Well, all right.
Tom Peters here.
I live around the area.
Here, bro.
I wanted to tell you
your music's wonderful.
Thank you, brother.
I think you're wonderful.
Great, man, cool.
I'd give my left thumb
to be this guy's manager.
Man, you must be making a killing out here with these great tunes, right?
I'm a little bit down on my luck,
to tell you the truth.
They're kicking me out of house and home because of this damn Waterbed Galleria.
What do you mean?
You live here on the boardwalk?
- Yeah, bro. It's a real bummer.
- That doesn't sound fair.
A waterbed! Doesn't anybody
who wants a waterbed have one already?
That's my take on it.
Oh, damn!
Well, tell you what,
Saxman, I may have a quick fix.
My wife is out of town right now visiting her ex-husband.
She doesn't like me
having men stay over, but
Oh, boy.
Well, I could set you up in
my son's pup tent, you know, for a while.
You know what? I could talk to the Mayor about getting a relocation plan together.
That is so sweet, man.
That is so good of you.
Lew, I gotta tell you,
this is just one heck of a bed.
Oh, baby, I knew you were
a waterbed man.
I certainly am, Lew.
I'm sorry.
I should've knocked.
No, it's fine. Lew's just installing
my new waterbed here.
All right, well,
I'll just come on back tomorrow.
All right, get your ass over here and take this bitch for a test drive.
- Isn't it wonderful?
- OK. That's good. Thank you.
It's just like
an amusement park ride, Tom.
Just getting a little
seasick here.
That was fun.
Thanks for stopping by.
I'm sorry. I actually have
a little problem I'd like to discuss.
Great. I love problems.
Well, I'm managing a musician here, and
he's actually
being forced to evacuate
because of Lew's
Waterbed Galleria there.
I'd love that hear that CD-R
Tom, you got something special here.
He actually plays the wind chimes himself on that track.
Oh, boy.
Listen to that melody.
Oh, this is really awful, guys.
Lew, you gotta be kidding me here.
I mean, this music is just beautiful.
He's just got to play your waterbed grand opening.
OK. Well, you know, it's not really what I had in mind, but
yeah, I'm sure we'd be interested in playing live
as long as Lew
doesn't have a problem with it.
Come on now!
Toot-a toot-a the saxophone.
Honk-a honk-a the saxophone.
Tippity-tippity-top,
saxophon-a go honk-a, honk-a.
And I don't like it!
I'm sorry, Tom.
I just don't think Lew can visualize
the power
of the Saxman with just a CD-R.
Let me think. All right, well,
this is just a brainstorm.
OK.
But what if I directed a video of the Saxman
and that way we can show,
you know
I love it.
All right, here we go again.
Now, Saxman
just try and focus with me here.
Action.
Cut, cut!
What? What's wrong now, Saxman?
Well, I'm just used to playing with my shirt off, you know?
A shirt is just confining,
and I have such wind when I
when I blow that I need to
Can I bust out?
Yeah, I guess.
Let's get some shirtless takes.
Let's roll again.
- Roll again.
- Back to one.
Cut, cut, cut, cut.
What is it now, Saxman?
- I just feel uncomfortable.
- Why?
Well, I think it's that I'm the only one with my shirt off now
and that puts me out of balance
with the flow and the vibe of the room.
I'm trying to bring it
you see,
and it's not being brought.
Would you take your shirt off, too?
Just to keep me company?
- OK.
- Great.
Tom, this is really blowing my mind.
Great video.
Great directing.
Well, thanks.
Thank you very much.
But the show's off.
- What?
- I've been thinking about this
and it doesn't make sense
for your Saxman to play Lew's opening.
We'd actually like someone
to sing about Lew's waterbeds
and promotional offers
and your guy's mouth will be tied up toot-a-tooting on his horn.
Well, I mean, let me just throw this out at you.
I mean, I could
If I get some brochures together
educate myself on the waterbeds
maybe I could write
some lyrics for Saxman and
you know, I could sing 'em.
You know I love the sound of your singing voice, Tom.
If we don't ask
for your custom--♪
Excu--
If we don't ask
for your customer code
Your waterbed will be 10% off
- Hey.
- Sorry, Saxman.
You scared me.
Man, what
Why aren't you outside in the pup tent?
Oh, it's so cold out there,
brother. It's frosty.
Wait a minute.
What's that on your legs there?
I found these tiny pants
in this totally fun room.
Those are Brindon's, Saxman.
My son's?
That's my stepson's room you're fiddling around in.
Man, dude, chill out.
Where's the anger coming from?
- I'm sor--
- Is this the way you treat a partner?
I'm just really stressed out about
our concert tomorrow, and, you know
I'm not exactly getting
the luck of the draw with these lyrics.
I have just the thing to
calm you down, my brother.
Yeah, get all snuggly down there.
Saxman, hold on a second.
Let my sax notes
massage your soul, brother.
Sleep, baby, sleep.
OK. Here we go.
Try it.
Let's take it from the top.
Two, three, four.
You're guaranteed to sleep ♪
If we don't ask for your
customer code ♪
Your second mattress ishalf-off ♪
Right.
Maybe you can do a C-sharp.
- You're a half-step off on the half-off.
- I'm just trying to
Half-off
Yep. You're probably right.
Let me just make a note of that here.
Shoot. I'm working in the bass clef here. Darn it.
You know what, Saxman,
let's take 5.
There's actually been something
I wanted to get off my chest this morning.
Did you and your friends come in
the house and have a jazz jam last night?
What? In the house?
No, I slept like a baby
right out there in my pup tent.
That's weird. It's just
No, it's nothing. There's just
There's some piles of B.M.
in my bedroom.
Ijust
SomethingI don't know.
You know what? Forget it.
Let's take it from the top.
Two, three, four.
If we don't ask for your ♪
Cut, cut!
It's not working, man.
It's just not working.
No, we'll get there. We just need to rhyme some of these words.
I haven't Let's see.
What rhymes with consumer price rebate?
No, it's not that.
You're rhyming like a diamond.
it's just that my lips are all chapped.
- I need to wet 'em up. Darn!
- What is it?
Well, the best way is to kiss someone for a while.
You know,
just to moisten up the lips.
OK.
I wouldn't ask you if I knew another way,
but we're burning studio time here and
I don't understand.
You say you want to kiss me?
It's not so much that I want to,
but it's my chops, you know?
Need to touch another man's lips to bring 'em back to life.
All right. I guess a kiss on the mouth
between friends can't hurt.
Joy! You're back!
My step dad with
some man in our kitchen.
Tom Peters' phone.
Tom, it's me.
Where the heck are you?
I'm at home.
I got grounded.
That sucks.
I wish you could've seen the Saxman.
He was great. Yeah.
He made it. I didn't know
if he was going to make it.
He sold about eight or nine CDs.
You'll make a huge profit off this show.
Well, that'swe're not really working together anymore.
Joy doesn't really want me, you know,
hanging around with him, so
That's a bummer. How long are you going to be grounded for?
Probably a couple of weeks.
How was the grand opening?
Everything?
- Yeah, it was great.
- Cool.
Gimble Twins are playing now.
I wish I could see them.
I love the Gimble Twins.
Yeah, they're hilarious.
So Well, I should probably,
you know, get off the phone.
To use the internet?
No, not really.
- All right. Well
- I'll talk to you later.
- OK. Gimme a call later.
- Bye.
You're guaranteed to sleep ♪
If we don't ask
for your customer code
The savings'll be passed on to you
Free delivery
for any double bed set ♪
You're guaranteed to sleep ♪
Abso-lutely.