8 Simple Rules (2002) s02e09 Episode Script

1
-Bridget, I just had a very
interesting talk..
..with your guidance counselor.
-Hey! It was parent-teacher
night for me, too.
-Oh, I'm sorry,
honey, I..I know..
..Honor Roll again. I'm so proud.
-Thanks, mom; It
means so much to me.
-Kerry, not now. I'm talking
to your sister.
-I hate being the middle child.
-Yeah, I hated being a
middle child, too..
..but I got over it.
- How?
-Attrition.
Now, I'm the
oldest. It's awesome.
-Now, Bridget, I know you've
been having a rough time..
..We have all been
having a rough time..
..but `Junior Year`, is the most
important year..
..for College applications.
-Don't worry; I'm
on it; Eyebrows.
-Mom, I think we
should all be grateful..
..Bridg' got into High School.
-See; Last year, I had, like
an arch thing going on..
..and I think that made me
look kind of slutty..
..you know, in a bad way.
And so I realized,
it'so obvious..
..I need smarter eyebrows..
..so: 'Honor-Society-Bridget'.
-Humm. I liked it
better, when you failed.
'Math'and were:
'Summer-School-Bridget'
-Now, look, honey. As much as we
like your smarter eyebrow idea..
..and we all do, right?
- Oh, right -Uh-mm Genius.
-But you're gonna have to do
a little bit more..
..to get into a good College..
..like beer up these transcripts
with some
extracurricular activities.
Honey, you're gonna have to find
something to do..
..like Kerry. Kerry is
in the 'Drama Club'.
In Fact, maybe, Kerry could get
you into the 'Drama Club'.
-Wait a minute;
'Drama Club' is my turf.
These people are my friends..
..this is where I paint scenery..
..in the corner, all alone
where people call me 'Terry';
I hate 'Drama Club'!
-Yeah, mom, and I'm smart enough
to know I'd hate it, too.
-Then, maybe you'd
like to just change
bedpans with me at the Hospital.
-Okay, you know, I
could be an actress..
..you know, I, I
do lie to you all
the time, an you allways buy it.
-What?!!
-See?, like right there, you
just bought that lie.
I am a good actress!
-Mom; It's not that easy.
Look, I build sets and I paint..
..scenery, but if you want to act
if you want even just one line..
..they make you do all the crappy
work like building sets and..
..painting scenery.
I hate Drama Club!
-Well, and now, honey, your
sister is gonna start under you.
-I got the lead!!
You got the lead?
- You got the lead?
She got the lead!
- What's the play?
- "Annie".
-It's "The Story Of Anne Frank"
you idiot!
-Whatever. All I know is I get
stuck in a room..
..with a really cute
boy, I have to kiss.
I can so play that.
- It's about nazis!
- They're hardly even in it.
They come in at the end.
-How could you not know
about 'Anne'?
-She was smart, sensitive,
and an artist.
Oh! Sensitive and an artist?
Wow!, that sounds
like someone who..
..paints scenery in 'Drama Club'.
-Now, look, we
need to be supportive.
We should be celebrating;
Your sister got the lead in
"Anne Frank"?!
-I'm just really
glad it's not "Annie"
'cause, you know, curly,
red hair? Not a good look.
-Bridget! That was my turf!
-Now, 'Terry', stop!
I mean, Kerry, stop it!
Just 'cause your big sister got
the lead in the whole damn play..
..that doesn't diminish your
painting the scenery
and whatnot.,
-I do more than paint
scenery, you know?
I design the programs
and the flyers,
I pull the little cord.
I hate Drama Club!
-Rory, where'd you get the dummy?
-Well; It's an interesting story.
So, who's the broad?!
-What just came
out of your mouth?!
-Skeevy; You can't talk
to my mother like that.
Mom, I'm sorry.
It wasn't my idea.
It was Mr.Coleman, the school
guidance counselor.
-Oh, well. You saw Mr. Coleman?
-Yeah. He thinks maybe this
ventriloquist's dummy..
..might help me
express the feelings..
..I may be stuffing inside.
- Oh, Rory.
- I named him 'Skeevy'.
-Well; Hi there, Skeevy!
Anything you want to say to me?
Well, there once was a man
from Nantucket.
-Thanks, gramps. I never
could get this paint off.
-Look at those hands; You're a
carftsman like your grandpa.
-God, I feel pretty.
-Come on, girl.
What's eating you?
-It's just that I
paint the scenary..
..and my big sister is the
'Star of the Show'.
-Yeah; I know what you mean.
My brother, your
great-uncle Walter,
He fought in 'The
Ardennes', in 'World War II'.
"The Greatest Generation"
"The Hero Of The Big One."
Yeah; Litle Jimmy
goes to 'Korea'
and they call it:
'A Police Action'
Can you believe that?
I get shot in the butt and they
call it: 'A Police Action'
-Wow! I had an uncle in WW-II?
Aughhh!!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I hurt you, hon'?
Hey.
We took "Pork
Chop Hill". Damm it!
-And we thank you, Dad.
-My line..other people's..
Other people's..my line.
-Eh..Bridget. Please, tell me
you're reading the whole play..
..and not just your part.
-Oh no! This is faster.
It's like studying for 'Finals'..
..you just read the first and
last sentence of each chapter.
-Hey Bridget! I just came by
to clear the air.
When you ignored me
at lunch today, I figured..
..there was a lot of tension 'cos
you got the part of Anne Frank..
..even though everybody said
I was gonna get the part..
..'cos I studied
acting for 10 years
and I did do that
furniture commercial.
Anyhow I hope we can
still be friends.
Oh, sure we will; Of course
we will, Linda, L, Laurie!
Lacey!!
Oh, I brought your costume.
Aside from my part, I'm
also wardrobe assistant;
Somehow I find the time
between my two lines.
So, Anne
"Break a leg"!
Break a leg??
Well; Go get hit by a car!!
-Now, I would really like
some quiet, please, ..huh?
All right, Andre Begin!
-I looked all up in his crib,
and there ain't no peeps!
-Andre, stick to
the text, please?
-I was just tryin' to give it
a little 'Andre fla-vor'
-Well Don't.
- Hi, Kerry.
- Hey.
-Rehearsal's still going on?
-Well; Classics aren't
destroyed overnight.
-Herr Commandant, I told you;
You wouldn't find anybody.
Did you check the attic?
'Cause she's in there!!
-Lacey!
-I'm sorry, but come
on! That's my role!
Anne Frank doesn't
have highlights!
-So; What do you think?
-Well Set's nice
I know I'm not very pretty
-'Yo!, I be DYING!
To lay one on that grill!
-Anthony!
All right; Bridget: Continue.
-Well, I have to go.
-All right; Now, Anne and Peter
kiss. And it's a first kiss.
It's innocente, sweet,
-Wow! That was..
..like a bus-itty bee
to his honey, 'Yo'!
- Now, is that in the script?
- Yeah, dude!
-All right, people; I want
you all to go home..
..and I want you to think very
hard about the meaning..
..of what we are doing here!
- Hey, mom.
- Hi.
- Did you see me up there?
- Oh, yes.
You you're gonna be the
prettiest Anne Frank, ever.
-Thank you; That's
exactly what I was going for.
Hey, Sarge!!
Were there mashed potatoes on
'Pork Chop Hill'? Ha, ha, ha, ha!
-Yeah, yeah; That is really cute.
You know what else is cute?
-Ahhh!!!
- Hey! How'd rehearsal go?
- Mmm -Amazing!
-Oh; Thank you, Kerry.
-Oh yeah; It was amazing.
-That play is gonna be
just one incredible..
..huge train wreck.
That bad, hah?
Oh, gee, I swear I wish
I could get her to quit.
-I'm so scared she's gonna
humiliate herself.
-Herself?
-Well, Okay. And
maybe a little bit me.
But I'm really concerned about
my daughter, whom I love.
Dad, she really stinks.
-All right; Come on, baby girl.
"Christmas Pageant",
'Junior Year',
You're on stage,
I'm in the audience.
"That's my girl"!,
I said: "That's
my girl"! I even pointed to you.
-They changed my place in line
t the last minute.
That's why I fell.
- Fell? You took out
the entire brass section.
Well, you told me
nobody noticed!
Nobody noticed?
People were injured!
-You know who I miss?
I miss uncle Walter.
'The Hero Of The Ardeeeennes'
-I'm sorry if I hit a
sore spot, Baby girl.
-Hey, hey; Who is this?
Who..a.a.a.a.!!
-Knock, knock!
- Am I interrupting?
- Oh, I'm rewriting my lines.
Some of them are kind of long
and hard to remember.
-Yeah..
Honey, I brought you, a book.
-A book?
-Yeah; I thought it could
help you with your part.
It's "The Diary Of Anne Frank"
I thought you could use it
as historical research..
..to find out things like
-She was real?
..like that she was real.
-Oh my Gosh! Was Bridget
Jones real, too?
-Oh, no..no.
And I just thought What about.
"The Nanny Diaries"?
Is nanny real?
-Nooo-Well-Yes-but that was
like a composite, so it-look..
It's not the point.
¿Could you just read
"The Diary Of Anne Frank"?
-Read another girl's diary?
Okayyy!
-Oh, Hi Louise!
Hey! You really look nice today.
-Ahh What do you need?
-Nothing; Maybe you just
really look nice.
Okay, I'm selling
tickets to Bridget's Play.
- A High School Play? Nooooooooo!
- Oh, Come on! Look..
..I had to endure your
daughter's Cello Recital.
- 'Endure'?
- I-I meant 'enjoy'.
-Come on! It's
the mom's code.
-We buy each other's
kids' crap and then..
..secretly resent each other,
so cough it up.
-It's the mom code and you..
..did sit through that
awful recital.
-Well, the good news is
you don't even have to go.
- Oh; I'll buy two.
- Okay.
Oh, my God! "Anne Frank"
Why didn't you say so in..
..the first place?
I'm gonna bring
my mother. She is a survivor.
Survivor?
Yeah. Oh, she is
so amazing, I mean..
She has seen the
worst in Humanity
and it hasn't
dampened her spirits.
-That might change.
-Hi Bridg'!
I thought I heard
something up here.
What are you doing?
-Reading "The Diary
Of Anne Frank".
Mom,
I don't think I can do this.
Well, honey; When you get
to a word you don't know..
..just sound it out.
-I mean: How could I have taken
on the role of Anne Frank?
She's just so incredibly
wise and brave.
I mean, I came up here to see
what it was like to be her.
I just can't do her justice.
I cant't.
- Of course, you can
-I know you never see this
side of me, but it's true.
Sometimes I can be a
little bit superficial.
I'm just not 'Anne material'
Think I should quit?
Because, it's not like I'd be
letting anyone down..
..that could do a way
better job than I can.
I should quit, right?
-Do you want to quit?
-No, I don't want to quit.
-But I don't want
to embarrass myself
I don't want to embarrass
you, either.
-Oh; That's just crazy, honey.
But, do you want to quit?
-I don't know what else to do.
I'm out of my depth.
-Wow you really
did read the book.
Well; I don't think
you should quit.
I think you can do it;
I know you can do it!
-It just doesn't seem
right that I play "Anne".
-We're nothing alike.
-We have a nice attic
and a nice house
I can go to sleep at night when
it's dark, in a warm bed
I can leave whenever I want
I don't know; My life is easy.
I just have not experienced
that kind of hardship.
- Huh
I can't imagine anyone playing
that part has that experience.
But an actor finds
things to draw on!
You know,
you have had your
share of sadness.
Start there.
- You brought the dummy?
- He's wearing a tie.
-Aren't you a little old to
be playing with dolls?
Aren't you a little old?
-I swear to God,
one of these days
I'm gonna pick
my teeth with you.
Jeez! This is a new low.
I'm talking to a dummy!
-And now, you'r talking to
yourself. Ha, ha ..ha!
-Skeey, this man fought
in 'The Korean War'
-It was a 'Police Action'!
-Stop it! Stop it, stop it!!
Cate!
- Louise?
This is my mother.
- How do you do?
-You must be honored that your
daughter is playing 'Anne Frank'
Oh, God bless
you and your family.
Okay, mom. Let's go find a seat.
-Her daughter..her daughter
is playing 'Anne Frank'.
-I smell 'Christmas Pageant'
all over again.
-My name is Anne Frank.
-She looks nothing
like Anne Frank.
-The 'Nazis' inv-
-My name is Anne Frank.
The 'Nazis' invaded my
country before I turned 11
2 years later, my family and I
and other Jewish families..
..went into hiding.
Father says they've found
the last of our friends.
¿How long until
they find us? Mother
is getting sicker and weaker..
..and I'm afraid she's giving up.
Mama, You have to eat, please!
Mama, mama! You
have to eat please!
Mama.
Father!
-We know you're in there!!
-I know you are in there!!
-Noo..Please, No!!
- Noo!
- Quiet!
Bravo! Bravo!
-How about that
scenery, too; Huh?
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
-Well; You were great, Bridg'!
It was worth missing
"Rockford Files", for.
-Yeah; It was awesome, Bridget.
-Thank you. And, what
did Skeevy thinks?
Oh! Where is Skeevy?
-I tossed him in a dumpster.
After de play, a really hot girl
looked at me..
..pointed, laughed, and said:
"What a geek!"
-What makes you think
she saw Skeevy?
-Wait a minute; I thought Skeevy
belonged to the conselor.
-Oh; Right. I was lying.
I just, really really wanted
a ventriloquist' dummy.
-You mean, you
are not suppressing
any emotional problems?
Nahh..
-Hah! Well, I'm relieved.
And, you know, I hope you had
a really good time tonight..
..because that's the last time
your're going out for a while.
Don't listen to him!!
..He got issues; Big time issues.
Work
it out in your room!
-Noooww Who's the dummy?
-Hey, Bridg'. I was really proud
of my big sister tonight.
-Thank you, Kerry.
- That was hard.
- Why?
There's no shame in looking
up to your big sister.
Hey! My big brother was
a hero in 'World War II'
-Thanks, Gramps.
-Now, that was hard.
-Hey, Beach! I was really amazed
by your performance tonight.
I was so impressed
and proud of you.
- Really?
- Yeah!
-And I had to admit
that for a while
there, I had my little concerns.
-Oh. What'd you
think I was gonna..
..fall off the stage and knock
out the entire brass section?
-Well; One thing I do know,
You can do anything
you put your mind to.
-Thank you, mom.
-Coming up?
-Yep; I'm just gonna
put these in water.
- Okay. Night, honey.
- Good night.
-I don't know how you did it!
You really tapped into
some emotion there.
- Yeah I guess.
- Yeah.
-Good night
oOo