Resident Alien (2021) s04e02 Episode Script
The Lonely Man
1
[SCREAMING]
Previously on "Resident Alien"
The Mantid thinks he can take over
my life and patients?
Hiking at Blackburn Mountain
has been great exercise.
Liv.
I just wish that I could
put together a robot man.
She should be with Ben and Kate.
When the Greys come to get Kate again,
they'll just take that baby with them.
I don't have her.
We should find somewhere she's safer.
We'll take good care of her.
Harry.
I am tempted to kill you
in my human form.
[YELPS]
Harry, did you lose your alien powers?
[ALL SHOUTING]
[DRAMATIC VIOLIN MUSIC]
♪
[THUNDER BOOMING]
[ORBS SPLASHING]
[DEVICE HUMMING]
[BROWN BIRD'S "BILGEWATER"]
[LAID-BACK ACOUSTIC STRUMMING]
♪
[ENGINE ROARING]
Humans have many flaws
Worthless pinky toes,
they can't smell cancer
even if it grows in their nose.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
But of all the flaws humans have,
the biggest one is their ability
to lie to themselves.
Luckily, I am not human,
so I do not have that flaw.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
I could have destroyed
that stupid Mantid
if you had not pulled me out of there.
You were the first one out.
If you had the keys,
you would have left us behind.
I do not know what happened.
I could not change into my alien form.
Maybe the Greys placed
some kind of inhibitor
in you to stop you
from accessing your powers.
But it is not my powers. It is me.
Just like being an annoying
sass-mouth is not your power,
it is who you are
on a molecular level.
- An inhibitor is possible.
- Told you.
On a molecular level.
They had plenty of opportunity
to implant an inhibitor.
They conducted many medical
experiments and probes on me.
You cannot imagine where.
Your butthole?
You're stupid,
and that is cliché.
Yes, actually. [MUMBLES]
Right up oh. Right
- My butthole.
- Oh.
What are we supposed to do now?
The Mantid just found out
that we know who he really is.
This is bad.
Mantids are very dangerous.
You were smart to pretend that
you thought he was really me
- this whole time.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I couldn't let on that,
you know,
I knew he wasn't you,
and it was difficult
because I I definitely knew.
You didn't know?
He looks just like you.
You are supposed to be my friend.
How could you not know
if someone is me or not?
- I knew.
- Yeah, I knew too.
Max can see aliens.
This must be very
embarrassing for you, Asta.
My best friend doesn't even know me.
Ok. Will you grow up?
We have bigger problems.
We have to get the kids home
and find a way to keep them safe.
[CHIRPING]
Bridget.
[SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE]
No.
[SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE]
[CHUCKLES]
Bridget was begging me
to stay with him,
but I insisted he use his alien powers
to protect the children instead.
Right.
[LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC]
Some nights ♪
Ben?
I never should have let Joseph see
that I was following him.
You know, he knows who I am.
He knows where we live.
Wait. That's good.
If he comes to kill you,
I can trap him.
I'm not sure I like
the "my husband as bait"
direction this is taking.
- 'Sup?
- What?
Hey. Where were you?
Didn't you notice I wasn't at dinner?
I did notice I had enough
food to eat for once.
Our son out there with
a killer alien on the loose.
Man, they'll just let anybody
be parents, won't they?
- He'll be fine.
- [SIGHS]
He wasn't even picked for magic camp.
I doubt he's the top of
some alien's abduction list.
Well, they took you.
They took me?
- You know what I mean.
- Oh, I know what you mean.
Look, the point is,
we can't let our guard down,
not till we catch Joseph.
Catch him?
Shouldn't we let Mike
and Liv handle him?
They're cops.
Aren't they already
in the catching game?
No, we can't tell them. [SCOFFS]
If they find Joseph first,
they will lock him away,
and then we will never get
the information
we need about our baby. No.
No, this has to stay between us.
Of course. Right.
Joseph the alien is back in town.
Wait, you haven't
told anyone, have you?
I can honestly say
that I, Ben Hawthorne,
did not tell anyone
anything about Joseph.
That's weirdly specific.
- I'm not a crook.
- Ok, great.
'Cause we're gonna
catch him ourselves.
- I don't have her.
- What the hell?
- No.
- I don't know where she is.
- Oh, orbs.
- I'm not hiding her.
- This is broken.
- I don't know.
- That would be the Greys.
- Doing what?
Looking for Mrs. Mayor's baby.
The Greys love human babies.
I do not know why.
You would think they would
collect something more useful,
like AA batteries or those clips
that keep potato chips fresh.
At least Kate doesn't know
where the baby is.
Maybe if she can't tell them, then
- Then they'll stop looking.
- They will not stop.
That is where the expression
"like a Grey with a baby" comes from.
But why are we talking about this?
We should be talking about
something much more important.
- Is it you?
- Yes.
I drove all the way from the moon.
I'm tired. I'm thirsty.
And neither one of you has
offered me their bedroom yet.
You're terrible hosts.
Oh, I can see your bedroom from here.
It looks like the couch.
Mm.
So, seriously,
you're not alien anymore?
Like you're not strong?
You can't climb buildings?
You can't do
Wait, are you ticklish now?
I am not interested
in your dumb questions.
I am still an alien.
[GIGGLING] Stop. Stop.
Ah.
I am as much an alien
as I have always been.
Oh.
I just need real food,
uh, to get my energy back.
See?
- Oh.
- [SPITTING]
[GAGS]
I still love milk just
as much as I always have.
Mm-hmm. [CHOKES]
[SIGHS]
Oh.
Oh, God.
I'm not
I feel good now.
I'm gonna head back to my cabin
to kill the Mantid.
No, no.
No, no, no. Hey, hey.
He will kick your ass.
Just sit down,
and we'll figure out a plan.
You need to get out of my way
or you will feel my alien wrath.
I understand.
You want me to sleep out here
on the couch to protect you two.
- [SCOFFS]
- I accept.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
Can you hear ♪
At least Ben and Kate's baby's
on the Rez, where she's safe.
Yeah, safe, but sad.
She probably really misses me.
I I think she's fine.
I should probably go
check on her, though,
just to make sure she's safe
and sing her
the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song.
D'arce.
I do not want to sleep on the couch.
I am cold,
and there was a gin bottle under me.
Why are you looking at me?
It could have been the baby's.
Here you go, Princess.
Oh I know you can feel it ♪
Anyway, I should probably
head to bed too.
There's so much to do.
I have to deal with
the whole Mantid thing.
Yeah.
I gotta stop by the grocery store,
stop by the Rez, check on Daisy.
- So I'm just gonna
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[SIGHS]
Daisy's fine.
Look, I know you don't like
talking about this,
but not long ago, you were
so desperate to feel special,
you went on a suicide mission
and tried to blow up a Grey spaceship.
And I already admitted
that that was stupid.
[SIGHS]
That has nothing to do with Daisy.
Doesn't it?
Maybe taking care of the baby
made you feel special,
and you want to feel that way again.
I don't know if "special" is the word,
- maybe critical.
- You're critical here.
Going to see her is a bad idea,
especially with the Mantid after us.
Yeah, you're right.
I'll stay away for Daisy's sake.
Could you help me check my body
for any Grey trackers or inhibitors?
Come on, Harry.
You need to put your clothes on.
This monkey body
will not bend to let me see
all of my nooks and crannies.
- Oh, no.
- Harry.
God, so pale.
Keep your nooks to yourself.
- Go.
- Fine.
You are very bad at sleepovers,
just so you know.
- Not a sleepover.
- Calling my lawyer.
[FLOOR CREAKING]
Asta?
The other one? [CLEARS THROAT]
[FLOOR CREAKING]
[SOFT RUSTLING]
[GASPS] Mantid?
[CLEARS THROAT]
I have nothing to fear.
And I am definitely
not lying to myself.
The Mantid is sleeping
and not on his way to kill me.
And even if he is,
I can defend myself,
even though I have
a fragile human body.
I'm a strong alien.
- I am a strong alien.
- [CAT YOWLING, DOG BARKING]
I am a strong alien.
[INHALES, EXHALES]]
[DOOR CLATTERS] Ahh!
I am not a strong alien.
I am a little alien boy
shitting his alien pants.
[SIGHS] You better be wearing clothes.
- Breathe in.
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Ok, let's take a look
at what we have going on here.
[VIOLIN PLAYING "LA DONNA E MOBILE"]
What is that?
[GASPS] Oh. Oh.
Excuse me.
[SINGING IN ITALIAN]
♪
You cannot be in here.
What the hell are you doing?
Stop playing.
- Who are you?
- That's Trevor.
I found him on Craigslist.
[SINGING IN ITALIAN]
I thought about stopping them,
but then I thought
it'd be funnier if I didn't.
Sorry. Sorry.
I can see you're busy.
I just wanted to do this
the right way.
Huh?
Oh, my God.
Asta, I'm here be
[SNAPS FINGERS]
I'm here because when you realize
you want to spend the rest
of your life with someone,
you want the rest of your life
to start as soon as possible.
Are you insane? No, no, that
That is from "When Harry Met Sally."
And, no, we are not getting married.
Well, not right [SNAPS FINGERS]
Not right away.
I still have to save up for the ring.
Joseph, no. I'm sorry, one minute.
Ellen, would you mind
finishing up here?
Joseph and I need to have a chat.
[MELANCHOLY VIOLIN MUSIC]
I will break it.
Come here. No.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS] Oh, God.
We are not getting married, ok?
Because we were never a thing.
We were just two people
who sometimes had sex.
I'm sorry.
That means something
where I come from.
The moon? Oh, ok.
No, I can't do this. I'm sorry.
Oh, I see.
I was risking my life sneaking around
to see you and bring you flowers,
and you were just
using me for my body.
Ok, I get it.
Whatever.
You know, Asta
Maybe you're the one
who's only half-human.
- Uh
- Come, Trevor.
[MELANCHOLY VIOLIN MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
Deputy, what have I said
about watching me from afar?
Hmm?
My sense of perception is too strong.
I can feel your pupils on me.
It's got the hairs
on the back of my neck
standing up like they're saying
the "Pledge of Allegiance."
Sorry, sir.
It's just nice to see you
back where you belong.
I was just on a little sabbatical.
That's all. I don't want no fuss.
We are all so glad
you're back, Sheriff.
A mental health crisis
is still a health crisis.
Now I've got a privacy crisis.
[BALLOONS POPPING]
It's just balloons again, Fred.
- [SIGHS]
- 10-4.
[PHONE RINGS]
Big black. Mm-hmm.
Interesting.
Well, let me know if
I can do anything to help.
Ok.
I'll talk to you later, Honeybee.
Oh, that's adorable.
How's Honeybee?
Lena found the body of the
missing hunter in the woods
without his head.
Oh.
That's less adorable.
Said it looked like
the head was bitten clean off.
Now you tell me what type of animal
can bite a head off with one bite,
I mean, besides an Orca, obviously.
What if it wasn't an animal?
Deputy, I swear to God,
if you say aliens,
I'm popping that last balloon,
and when Fred comes in here,
I'ma let him shoot me.
Not just any a
Otherworldly being, Joseph.
Deputy, look, just
[SIGHS]
Hear me out.
The last time Joseph was here,
there were mysterious deaths.
Now he's back,
and a headless body is found?
- It's not just a coincidence.
- Listen to me.
Even if aliens were real,
Joseph ain't some head-eating alien.
I mean, think about it.
The guy tried to shoot us.
Now, if I wanted to kill somebody
and I could eat heads,
I'd eat the head.
I wouldn't shoot them.
And I wouldn't shoot them first
and then eat the head,
because then it's just a dead head,
- and it probably ain't as juicy.
- Hold on.
Did you say "if aliens are real"?
Well, I was making
the Socratic argument,
not agreeing or denying either way.
Really? You said "if."
[SIGHS]
[BRIGHT ROCK MUSIC]
♪
Hey, Liv.
How's it, uh how's it going?
Sorry, did I scare you?
Scared? Me? No.
No way. I'm extremely calm.
Yeah, my last checkup,
my my heart rate was
described as shockingly low.
- Is that good?
- Sure.
All you really need is
a couple beats per minute,
and the rest is just busy work.
Plus, you know, my blood sugar
is so high, it balances out.
Ok.
Well, I just had
a few follow-up questions
- about Joseph.
- [GASPS]
Uh, Joseph?
I I don't know, um,
what you're talking about.
You broke into my car
in a dumb Richard Nixon mask and said,
"Joseph the alien is back in town"?
That could have been anyone.
Anyone with the Nixon mask
you wore at the Halloween office party
and your voice and your wedding ring.
Yeah, sorry. Um, that is not me.
Um, I lost my ring. I don't, um
I don't even wear it anymore.
[RING CLATTERING]
I don't know what's going on,
but I'll get the truth
out of you eventually.
[TWANGY VIOLIN MUSIC]
♪
Hey.
- What are you doing?
- Looking for Daisy's blanket.
It smells like her. I want it.
Hey. Give it back.
No, the baby is not here anymore.
She does not need it.
Now it's gonna smell like you.
- Give it.
- [GRUNTS]
Well, that's fine.
He's just been sleeping
with it for comfort.
It was not for comfort.
I came in here for a reason.
I do not remember why.
Oh, no, am I insane now?
- Nope, just human.
- Take that back.
I think you came in here to tell us
that you're moving out. Bye.
No, that was not it. Wait.
You know, I could get behind
having a powerful alien around.
At least you could
get the lids off jars.
Now you're just a useless idiot.
Idiot? Wait, Joseph.
That's it.
- That's it, Joseph.
- Joseph?
Uh, the oh, oh, the deputy guy.
- What about him?
- Yeah.
Was it about him
being a skillful lover?
I'm sure that wasn't it.
He is a hybrid Grey alien.
He can tell me what the Greys did
to block my power so I can unblock it
and defeat the Mantid.
I must find Joseph. But how?
So what you're saying is,
if we could contact Joseph
or if we knew anyone
who could contact him,
all of our problems
would just disappear?
Mine would.
Your issues would
take years to unpack.
Man. Ugh.
If only I knew
of a way we could contact
- Ok, fine.
- [CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS] I may have his number.
You saw him? Where?
Yeah. Where was it, Asta?
- Was it
- No.
Here? Was it here?
[SIGHS] Stop.
- On her face?
- Was it right here?
On her boobs? On her on her butt
Was it all up in here?
You had sex with the hybrid?
Uh-huh. It just happened.
And and then it kept happening,
and then he fell in love with me.
Oh, God, this has not
been my proudest month.
So while I was trapped by the Greys,
you were sexing with one.
No wonder you never
noticed the Mantid.
You were too busy noticing
the inside of Joseph's body.
Wait. You think I was inside him?
Hey, buddy, Asta can be
inside whoever she wants.
I wasn't inside him.
If the rectum fits.
- [SIGHS]
- Wait, this is good.
We can use his affection
to get what we want.
I just broke up with him.
I think he cried, ok? I can't do that.
Yes, you can.
Men will do anything for love.
I ate worms.
Asta, I mean, this guy could
save our lives, you know?
Come on, I used to call exes
for rides to the airport.
I'm calling him.
[LINE TRILLING]
Oh, hey, Asta. I can't talk.
I'm with my new girlfriend.
We just had sex eight
Sorry, how many times, dear?
Nine times? [CHUCKLES]
- She's so hot.
- Oh, ok, cool.
So I was just calling
to ask you something.
Yes, I'll marry you. I was just lying.
There's no one else.
You're my always and forever.
No, there is a Mantid in Patience,
and we need your help.
I'll do it.
I'll kill the Mantid
and prove my love for you.
No, wait. That's not
- He's in Harry's cabin.
- No
I feel better already.
[SIGHS]
[BRIGHT MUSIC]
♪
Hi, Nancy.
Uh, a friend of ours
stopped by here yesterday,
and we just wanted to see
if you remember him.
Oh, yeah, the Old Deputy.
He was here,
but I don't remember much.
He paid cash,
so I didn't get an address.
Sorry.
Does, uh does this jog your memory?
[GLASS SHATTERING]
I'm sorry.
I I could have sworn
that that was plastic.
We will obviously pay for that.
- Yes.
- So sorry.
Don't worry about it.
Got Ben's card on file.
I'll just charge it.
It hasn't been used in a while.
Funny, you used to come
in here all the time,
buy your lovely wife flowers.
What happened?
Yeah, Ben. What happened?
Feels like there's
no right answer to that.
It was a brutal and bloody affair.
We were evenly matched,
and we hit each other
with everything we had.
In the end, there were victories
on both sides, mostly mine.
[INHALES]
He did knock me down at one point.
[SIGHS] I made the tactical decision
to remain still and relieve myself
so he would think I was dead.
So you shit your pants?
It was a strategic play,
used to great effect
by the Tribulan aliens
and known across the universe
as a brilliant chess move.
So you shit your pants?
I changed before I came here.
He's lying about the Tribulans.
- There is no such chess move.
- Anyway
[SIGHS] I scared him off
so badly he immediately
[SNAPS FINGERS]
Folded his clothes,
packed his suitcase,
and ran off. [CHUCKLES]
Coward.
So he had time to pack?
He's an experienced traveler.
He had a system.
I am so glad that you survived,
but are you sure you don't want
me to drive you to the clinic?
- Because he ripped your arm off.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES] No, us Hybrids are stronger
and tougher than you humans.
This is the equivalent
of you stubbing your toe.
[BLOOD SPURTING] [GROANING]
- [GAGS]
- [GROANING]
Oh.
Well, now that I've proven
my love to you,
we can get married.
You will have to drive.
I'm feeling a little dizzy.
It must be the adrenaline of victory.
I'm just gonna lay down.
Don't worry about me.
Well, this is good, right?
- The Mantid's gone now.
- For now.
But he will be back,
and I must be ready when he is.
Joseph.
Could you face the kitchen
so I don't have
to look at your broken face?
Ok.
The Greys have implanted an inhibitor
in me that is blocking me
from my true alien form.
I need you to pull it out
so I can kill the Mantid
and avenge the death
of your attractiveness.
I don't know how to do all that stuff.
- Son of a bitch.
- Nope.
- Turn it back.
- Oh.
I don't know how to do all that stuff.
I'm a hybrid.
The Greys made sure
we knew the difference.
We didn't have access
to that kind of technology
or the Espresso machine.
You need a full Grey
for what you want.
Is anybody else seeing
any white dots in the air,
or is that just me?
[GLASS SHARDS CLINKING]
- Hi, Nancy.
- Hi, deputy Liv.
Did I just see
the Hawthornes leaving here?
Yep, they were asking a whole
bunch of strange questions
about that former Deputy.
- Joseph?
- Interesting.
Why is everyone so interested
in that guy, anyway?
I mean, he's a looker,
but he's not too bright.
I watched him go through
a whole pack of cards
'cause he misspelled "sincerely."
Really?
Do you still have any
of those cards lying around?
I think so.
Can I keep these?
Sure.
[SILENTLY] Thank you.
Oh, what type of flowers did he buy?
Pink peonies.
He said he wanted something
that symbolized
New love.
Joseph's in love
with someone in Patience.
♪
- Hi.
- Hey, there.
Welcome to the Copper Ridge. I'm Judy.
- I'll help you with this bag.
- Oh. Oh, thanks.
It's sad to leave this body behind.
I always wanted to be a doctor,
but it's clear this identity
has been compromised.
Oh.
I'll need a new look
while I plan my next move.
Oh, let me just get this. [CHUCKLES]
Time to eat.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[DOOR SLAMS]
- A little jumpy?
- Yeah.
Just knowing the Mantid is out there.
I had lunch with Kayla.
I couldn't shake the feeling
I was being watched.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm used to that.
- Being hot and all?
- You get it.
[CHUCKLES]
[DOOR SLAMS]
Where do I buy a beret?
Oh, I think I saw one in
the window at the dork store.
I need it for my Paris trip.
I found Bruce.
[GIGGLES] He is posting pictures.
Oh, my God. That's great.
He can give you back
your alien parts
Ness whatever.
- Uh, but that is not Paris.
- Mm-mm.
But that is the Eiffel Tower.
Your American education
has sadly failed you.
Maybe, but unless the Eiffel Tower
is next to a picture
of "Criss Angel mindfreak,"
your Grey friend is not in France.
- He's in Vegas.
- Wait, he's a Grey.
He can tell us how to stop the orbs
- and get them off Kate's back.
- That's right.
We're coming with you.
We could ask Bruce about the baby.
We do not have time
for extra questions.
I do not know how long Bruce
can survive in this atmosphere.
Well, we'll make time. All right.
- Road trip to Vegas.
- Whoo-hoo.
Wait. Never mind.
You know, you guys have fun.
I've got work, a lot of shifts.
You're banned from
the Paris hotel, aren't you?
You're banned from all the hotels?
D'arce.
Careful.
I may have to arrest you
for excessive handsomeness.
You know,
the minimum sentence for that
is a week in your bed.
- Oh, is that a fact?
- [LAUGHS]
- That is a fact.
- Lena.
The Sheriff told me about
the headless hunter case.
How's it going?
Like any cool details?
It's so funny.
I was just saying to Mike last week
that I was craving some action,
and out of nowhere
- comes a headless body.
- See?
I just kept saying,
be patient, you know?
And things will work out,
and then they did.
- I mean, not for the hunter.
- Hmm.
Forensics is leaning
toward an animal attack,
but only part gone was the head,
like a bite, but clean.
So the tendons,
they weren't jagged or crushed.
So really, who knows?
Reminds me of this lady
back in DC, mm.
She died in her sleep
surrounded by 78 cats.
She wasn't dead ten minutes
before they started turning her corpse
- into a damn golden corral.
- I heard about that.
Ate the meat right down to the bone.
You want some fries, Deputy?
I might never actually eat again.
- Mm.
- Whew.
Still, it makes you think, right?
Suspect's not a human,
but also not an animal.
If only there was something
in-between human and animal.
Like, what could that be, sir,
like, if something that was real
was in-between animals and humans?
- You mean like a Bonobo.
- No.
Well, a Bonobo is the closest relative
to human beings
in the animal kingdom
Hell, even more so
than the chimpanzee,
and you can teach a chimp
to build a treehouse.
It's not a Bonobo.
It's hard to say what we're seeing.
We'll get more evidence
once we search up Blackburn Mountain.
- Mm-hmm.
- Blackburn?
Like the place with all the caves?
Why?
Like, why would you want to go there?
'Cause those caves are
the perfect place to hide.
No. No, they're not.
They're too
They're full of silverfish.
Well, I guess we'll see.
Search and rescue is starting
a thorough sweep tomorrow,
so whatever's hiding up there,
we're gonna find it.
Mm-hmm.
I can do it.
You wanna join the search team?
No team. Just me.
I'm i'm i'm I'll do it.
Oh, thanks, Liv, but
it's actually too much area
for one person to cover alone.
Oh. Oh, I see.
- It's because I'm a woman?
- Huh?
You think I can't search some caves
without a man's help?
[LAUGHS] Wow.
I thought you had a girl's back, Lena.
Now I am definitely
searching the caves alone
to prove you wrong. [CHAIR THUDS]
[WHISPERS] I'm disappointed.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
What the hell?
♪
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
Neon lights, big spenders ♪
perfect nights you can't remember ♪
champagne ♪
No, we don't have time to see a show.
I just want Magic Mike
to pull a rabbit out of a hat
or tell me which card is mine.
Ok, that's not what "Magic Mike" is.
Or show me his penis.
Ok, so you do know what the show is.
- Bruce.
- Harry, you found me.
Vegas, baby. You just missed Robert.
He was happy he won $800, but
then he was sad he lost $800.
This town is a ride.
We weren't sure you'd still be here.
Harry said the Greys can't survive
too long in earth's atmosphere.
How are you still
I don't know.
The excitement, the energy?
It might also be all the iodine
in the 15 shrimp cocktails I ate.
Whatever it is,
I've never felt so alive.
- Ow.
- Whoa.
Huh.
I shouldn't be too surprised.
My foot fell off in the elevator.
I'll grab Bruce. You grab the arm.
- What?
- Come on.
- Um
- Ow.
Yeah, oh, my
[QUIRKY DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Hi, Peter.
- Hi.
♪
What?
I didn't know
you were bringing company.
Holy shit, a cyborg man.
♪
And besides not running off
a lawn mower engine,
your design is like 50% go-kart.
I mean, if you want, I could paint you
some flames around the sides here.
No, thanks.
I just need to get out of here
so I can go find my son.
- Liv drew that.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, the Deputy here,
she's quite the artist.
She puts that painting pig down
at the county fair to shame.
Although she's got
the advantage, right?
She can she can use her hands.
She ain't gotta put the pencil
in her mouth like lil pigcasso.
Thank you.
To be honest, I'm
I'm kind of glad you followed me here.
Peter's proof that aliens are real.
You don't have to pretend
to doubt anymore.
Now, hold on one second. All right?
From everything you done
told me about this project
You can call me Peter.
This Peter here,
is that he was made by some
shadowy black-ops Pentagon
clandestine strike force
group sons of bitches, right?
Not some aliens.
You know, I met a lot
of people like you
in my line of work.
Hell, I was you once.
The mind is a strange thing.
We can believe in things
that make no logical sense,
like like love, but reject things
that we see right in front of us.
Just ask yourself this.
Why would the government
spend billions
of dollars on turning
a 70-year-old podcaster
- into a weapon?
- I I I don't know.
Liv told me you saw
an alien that night,
and you captured it
before the government
came and cleared the scene.
Let me guess.
They told you it was a radiation leak,
and you think you're seeing things.
'Cause I was seeing things.
I put the alien in my trunk,
and then it disappeared.
Mm, mm.
Tell me, do you ever wonder
why it wasn't in the trunk?
[TENSE MUSIC]
He's disintegrating.
Quick, Bruce,
how can we stop the Greys
from sending orbs after our friend?
You can't.
They won't call off the orbs
until they find
what they're looking for.
Bruce, I need you to help me.
When I was on the ship,
the Greys did something
to me to
to block my true alien form.
So whatever strength you have left,
use it to reverse it.
Also they stole my wallet.
Ok, Harry, they didn't
block your powers.
How can that be?
Every time I try to access
my alien energy, I
I feel nothing.
Greys have always been jealous
of your people's abilities.
They wouldn't block your energy.
They'd steal it.
His energy?
Everything in the universe
is energy, sweetheart.
They separated out Harry's
atomic alien particles
and left the rest.
Sorry, Harry, but you're human.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
This is impossible.
There must be some way to reverse it,
some way for me to get
my alien energy back
And my wallet.
Greys would never give it up,
not without getting
something they want more in return.
I think the wallet
is kind of an HR issue.
Ha, I know what I'm going to do.
I'm going to give the Greys
what they really want
You, the Grey defector.
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, what?
When humans lie to themselves,
it's called rationalizing.
- Ow.
- [YELLING]
[LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC]
Because it's rational to do
whatever you can
to make yourself feel better.
Well, it's been a long time ♪
since I've felt the wind move ♪
- strong and swift ♪
- D'arce?
I didn't know you were coming over.
- Hey.
- Everything ok?
Uh, I was just dropping off
Daisy's blankie.
Forgot to put it with
the rest of her things.
Looks like an awfully big bag
for just a blanket.
Might be a couple
other things in there I bought,
one or two books, a few toys,
and a bread-shaped pillow.
That was more for me, so
You know what?
You you came all this way.
You wanna hold her?
Uh, ok.
- Yeah.
- Just for a second.
- Yeah.
- [GASPS]
Here you go.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [BABBLING]
[CHUCKLING] Hi. Hi.
Ain't it funny how things
seem to work out ♪
all right in the end? ♪
Don't tell Asta.
♪
all right in the end? ♪
[GURGLING]
No, don't you die on me,
not before I finish betraying you.
Harry, you can't do this.
Bruce saved you, and now
you're trying to sacrifice him
just to get what you want.
You don't do that to your friends.
What do you care?
It is the same thing
you did with Joseph.
What? No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
You used him for what you wanted.
He got hurt. We are the same.
Oh, God. You're right.
[SOBS]
I cannot find a pulse.
- Oh.
- Stop.
Ohh, it's no use.
The Greys would not even want him.
Oh, what good is he?
They would not even be able
to torture him.
Harry, I forgive you
for trying to betray me.
You gave me the best day
and a half of my entire life.
I got to see the most
beautiful planet,
saw my first sunset,
and I may have married a Greek
man named Milos last night.
I don't know. I was pretty drunk.
Yes, you said that you could help.
Please hurry. Your body is souping.
I know what the Greys want.
Why are you whispering?
You're speaking telepathically.
[INDISTINCT].
Oh.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
[PANTING] For you.
Oh.
Um oh, a romantic card.
[CHUCKLES] And, um
And a check for $10 made out to cash.
I didn't know your last name.
Uh, now that we're
getting back together, I
I want to establish some boundaries.
You can do whatever you want to me,
and I will always come back to you.
Stop, that's
That's not why I called.
Ah, I understand, I understand.
I can assure you, I am injured,
but I am all man.
I still have most of my penis.
Thank you.
Um, no, I called you to apologize.
I used you because
I wanted help with the Mantid,
and I shouldn't have done that,
and I
And I never should have
made you feel like
you had to fight aliens
to win my love.
But come on, Joseph.
You don't love me.
But I do.
When we're apart, the world is
[SIGHS] Dark and empty.
But with you, it's bright.
And the mean voices
in my head aren't as loud.
That's what I mean.
That's that's not love.
It's fear.
- Will you be in fear with me?
- No.
No, that's that's not a thing.
Um, ok, uh, you're on your own
for the first time,
and you're really scared. I get that.
You know, I'm scared too.
But you can't let it control you.
My whole life has been about the Greys
and doing awful things for them.
I mean, look what we did
to Ben and Kate's baby.
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC]
Being with you made me feel good.
♪
You made me feel like I could be good.
♪
What if I never feel that way again?
♪
If you felt good with me,
it's only because
I brought out the good
that's already inside you.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
I felt good with you, too, you know?
And there's plenty of good in us.
We just we just have to find it.
Oh oh oh baby ♪
where have you gone? ♪
I've been missing you
since you came along ♪
ooh, mama, tell him ♪
I don't want to give
my life away to anyone ♪
ooh, mama, tell him ♪
I don't want to give
my life away to anyone ♪
♪
Son of a bitch.
I believe in aliens.
And this is our ultra-special suite
equipped with our best
working microwave.
Whatever you cook in it
comes out tasting like
the best fish sticks.
♪
[SIGHS] Actually, um, this one
could use a bit more cleaning, so
Ooh, mama, tell him ♪
I don't want to give
my life away to anyone ♪
Humanity is infectious.
If you let it,
it will get into your blood
and travel all the way to your heart.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
♪
many things connected ♪
Hello?
Life has given us ♪
"I don't know where your baby is,
"but I know that she's on earth
and she's safe.
From Joseph."
Life has given us ♪
Hon.
Love's eternity ♪
♪
[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]
♪
♪
I do not care now
that I have a human body.
I am not afraid of becoming
too human because
I do not lie to myself
about what I am.
Bruce was my friend,
and I tried to sacrifice him
to the Greys for my own gain.
I now know that even
without my alien energy,
I still have my cold,
dark alien heart.
♪
[GROANS]
♪
Goodbye, my friend.
You will be missed.
♪
Before Bruce died,
he told me there was one thing
I could trade to the Greys,
the technology of my people.
Powerful enough,
the Greys could use it
to destroy my home planet.
But if that will get me
my alien energy back,
it is a price I am willing to pay.
I need that technology,
and I know where to find it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
sync & corrections awaqeded
[SCREAMING]
Previously on "Resident Alien"
The Mantid thinks he can take over
my life and patients?
Hiking at Blackburn Mountain
has been great exercise.
Liv.
I just wish that I could
put together a robot man.
She should be with Ben and Kate.
When the Greys come to get Kate again,
they'll just take that baby with them.
I don't have her.
We should find somewhere she's safer.
We'll take good care of her.
Harry.
I am tempted to kill you
in my human form.
[YELPS]
Harry, did you lose your alien powers?
[ALL SHOUTING]
[DRAMATIC VIOLIN MUSIC]
♪
[THUNDER BOOMING]
[ORBS SPLASHING]
[DEVICE HUMMING]
[BROWN BIRD'S "BILGEWATER"]
[LAID-BACK ACOUSTIC STRUMMING]
♪
[ENGINE ROARING]
Humans have many flaws
Worthless pinky toes,
they can't smell cancer
even if it grows in their nose.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
But of all the flaws humans have,
the biggest one is their ability
to lie to themselves.
Luckily, I am not human,
so I do not have that flaw.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
I could have destroyed
that stupid Mantid
if you had not pulled me out of there.
You were the first one out.
If you had the keys,
you would have left us behind.
I do not know what happened.
I could not change into my alien form.
Maybe the Greys placed
some kind of inhibitor
in you to stop you
from accessing your powers.
But it is not my powers. It is me.
Just like being an annoying
sass-mouth is not your power,
it is who you are
on a molecular level.
- An inhibitor is possible.
- Told you.
On a molecular level.
They had plenty of opportunity
to implant an inhibitor.
They conducted many medical
experiments and probes on me.
You cannot imagine where.
Your butthole?
You're stupid,
and that is cliché.
Yes, actually. [MUMBLES]
Right up oh. Right
- My butthole.
- Oh.
What are we supposed to do now?
The Mantid just found out
that we know who he really is.
This is bad.
Mantids are very dangerous.
You were smart to pretend that
you thought he was really me
- this whole time.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I couldn't let on that,
you know,
I knew he wasn't you,
and it was difficult
because I I definitely knew.
You didn't know?
He looks just like you.
You are supposed to be my friend.
How could you not know
if someone is me or not?
- I knew.
- Yeah, I knew too.
Max can see aliens.
This must be very
embarrassing for you, Asta.
My best friend doesn't even know me.
Ok. Will you grow up?
We have bigger problems.
We have to get the kids home
and find a way to keep them safe.
[CHIRPING]
Bridget.
[SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE]
No.
[SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE]
[CHUCKLES]
Bridget was begging me
to stay with him,
but I insisted he use his alien powers
to protect the children instead.
Right.
[LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC]
Some nights ♪
Ben?
I never should have let Joseph see
that I was following him.
You know, he knows who I am.
He knows where we live.
Wait. That's good.
If he comes to kill you,
I can trap him.
I'm not sure I like
the "my husband as bait"
direction this is taking.
- 'Sup?
- What?
Hey. Where were you?
Didn't you notice I wasn't at dinner?
I did notice I had enough
food to eat for once.
Our son out there with
a killer alien on the loose.
Man, they'll just let anybody
be parents, won't they?
- He'll be fine.
- [SIGHS]
He wasn't even picked for magic camp.
I doubt he's the top of
some alien's abduction list.
Well, they took you.
They took me?
- You know what I mean.
- Oh, I know what you mean.
Look, the point is,
we can't let our guard down,
not till we catch Joseph.
Catch him?
Shouldn't we let Mike
and Liv handle him?
They're cops.
Aren't they already
in the catching game?
No, we can't tell them. [SCOFFS]
If they find Joseph first,
they will lock him away,
and then we will never get
the information
we need about our baby. No.
No, this has to stay between us.
Of course. Right.
Joseph the alien is back in town.
Wait, you haven't
told anyone, have you?
I can honestly say
that I, Ben Hawthorne,
did not tell anyone
anything about Joseph.
That's weirdly specific.
- I'm not a crook.
- Ok, great.
'Cause we're gonna
catch him ourselves.
- I don't have her.
- What the hell?
- No.
- I don't know where she is.
- Oh, orbs.
- I'm not hiding her.
- This is broken.
- I don't know.
- That would be the Greys.
- Doing what?
Looking for Mrs. Mayor's baby.
The Greys love human babies.
I do not know why.
You would think they would
collect something more useful,
like AA batteries or those clips
that keep potato chips fresh.
At least Kate doesn't know
where the baby is.
Maybe if she can't tell them, then
- Then they'll stop looking.
- They will not stop.
That is where the expression
"like a Grey with a baby" comes from.
But why are we talking about this?
We should be talking about
something much more important.
- Is it you?
- Yes.
I drove all the way from the moon.
I'm tired. I'm thirsty.
And neither one of you has
offered me their bedroom yet.
You're terrible hosts.
Oh, I can see your bedroom from here.
It looks like the couch.
Mm.
So, seriously,
you're not alien anymore?
Like you're not strong?
You can't climb buildings?
You can't do
Wait, are you ticklish now?
I am not interested
in your dumb questions.
I am still an alien.
[GIGGLING] Stop. Stop.
Ah.
I am as much an alien
as I have always been.
Oh.
I just need real food,
uh, to get my energy back.
See?
- Oh.
- [SPITTING]
[GAGS]
I still love milk just
as much as I always have.
Mm-hmm. [CHOKES]
[SIGHS]
Oh.
Oh, God.
I'm not
I feel good now.
I'm gonna head back to my cabin
to kill the Mantid.
No, no.
No, no, no. Hey, hey.
He will kick your ass.
Just sit down,
and we'll figure out a plan.
You need to get out of my way
or you will feel my alien wrath.
I understand.
You want me to sleep out here
on the couch to protect you two.
- [SCOFFS]
- I accept.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
Can you hear ♪
At least Ben and Kate's baby's
on the Rez, where she's safe.
Yeah, safe, but sad.
She probably really misses me.
I I think she's fine.
I should probably go
check on her, though,
just to make sure she's safe
and sing her
the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song.
D'arce.
I do not want to sleep on the couch.
I am cold,
and there was a gin bottle under me.
Why are you looking at me?
It could have been the baby's.
Here you go, Princess.
Oh I know you can feel it ♪
Anyway, I should probably
head to bed too.
There's so much to do.
I have to deal with
the whole Mantid thing.
Yeah.
I gotta stop by the grocery store,
stop by the Rez, check on Daisy.
- So I'm just gonna
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[SIGHS]
Daisy's fine.
Look, I know you don't like
talking about this,
but not long ago, you were
so desperate to feel special,
you went on a suicide mission
and tried to blow up a Grey spaceship.
And I already admitted
that that was stupid.
[SIGHS]
That has nothing to do with Daisy.
Doesn't it?
Maybe taking care of the baby
made you feel special,
and you want to feel that way again.
I don't know if "special" is the word,
- maybe critical.
- You're critical here.
Going to see her is a bad idea,
especially with the Mantid after us.
Yeah, you're right.
I'll stay away for Daisy's sake.
Could you help me check my body
for any Grey trackers or inhibitors?
Come on, Harry.
You need to put your clothes on.
This monkey body
will not bend to let me see
all of my nooks and crannies.
- Oh, no.
- Harry.
God, so pale.
Keep your nooks to yourself.
- Go.
- Fine.
You are very bad at sleepovers,
just so you know.
- Not a sleepover.
- Calling my lawyer.
[FLOOR CREAKING]
Asta?
The other one? [CLEARS THROAT]
[FLOOR CREAKING]
[SOFT RUSTLING]
[GASPS] Mantid?
[CLEARS THROAT]
I have nothing to fear.
And I am definitely
not lying to myself.
The Mantid is sleeping
and not on his way to kill me.
And even if he is,
I can defend myself,
even though I have
a fragile human body.
I'm a strong alien.
- I am a strong alien.
- [CAT YOWLING, DOG BARKING]
I am a strong alien.
[INHALES, EXHALES]]
[DOOR CLATTERS] Ahh!
I am not a strong alien.
I am a little alien boy
shitting his alien pants.
[SIGHS] You better be wearing clothes.
- Breathe in.
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Ok, let's take a look
at what we have going on here.
[VIOLIN PLAYING "LA DONNA E MOBILE"]
What is that?
[GASPS] Oh. Oh.
Excuse me.
[SINGING IN ITALIAN]
♪
You cannot be in here.
What the hell are you doing?
Stop playing.
- Who are you?
- That's Trevor.
I found him on Craigslist.
[SINGING IN ITALIAN]
I thought about stopping them,
but then I thought
it'd be funnier if I didn't.
Sorry. Sorry.
I can see you're busy.
I just wanted to do this
the right way.
Huh?
Oh, my God.
Asta, I'm here be
[SNAPS FINGERS]
I'm here because when you realize
you want to spend the rest
of your life with someone,
you want the rest of your life
to start as soon as possible.
Are you insane? No, no, that
That is from "When Harry Met Sally."
And, no, we are not getting married.
Well, not right [SNAPS FINGERS]
Not right away.
I still have to save up for the ring.
Joseph, no. I'm sorry, one minute.
Ellen, would you mind
finishing up here?
Joseph and I need to have a chat.
[MELANCHOLY VIOLIN MUSIC]
I will break it.
Come here. No.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS] Oh, God.
We are not getting married, ok?
Because we were never a thing.
We were just two people
who sometimes had sex.
I'm sorry.
That means something
where I come from.
The moon? Oh, ok.
No, I can't do this. I'm sorry.
Oh, I see.
I was risking my life sneaking around
to see you and bring you flowers,
and you were just
using me for my body.
Ok, I get it.
Whatever.
You know, Asta
Maybe you're the one
who's only half-human.
- Uh
- Come, Trevor.
[MELANCHOLY VIOLIN MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
Deputy, what have I said
about watching me from afar?
Hmm?
My sense of perception is too strong.
I can feel your pupils on me.
It's got the hairs
on the back of my neck
standing up like they're saying
the "Pledge of Allegiance."
Sorry, sir.
It's just nice to see you
back where you belong.
I was just on a little sabbatical.
That's all. I don't want no fuss.
We are all so glad
you're back, Sheriff.
A mental health crisis
is still a health crisis.
Now I've got a privacy crisis.
[BALLOONS POPPING]
It's just balloons again, Fred.
- [SIGHS]
- 10-4.
[PHONE RINGS]
Big black. Mm-hmm.
Interesting.
Well, let me know if
I can do anything to help.
Ok.
I'll talk to you later, Honeybee.
Oh, that's adorable.
How's Honeybee?
Lena found the body of the
missing hunter in the woods
without his head.
Oh.
That's less adorable.
Said it looked like
the head was bitten clean off.
Now you tell me what type of animal
can bite a head off with one bite,
I mean, besides an Orca, obviously.
What if it wasn't an animal?
Deputy, I swear to God,
if you say aliens,
I'm popping that last balloon,
and when Fred comes in here,
I'ma let him shoot me.
Not just any a
Otherworldly being, Joseph.
Deputy, look, just
[SIGHS]
Hear me out.
The last time Joseph was here,
there were mysterious deaths.
Now he's back,
and a headless body is found?
- It's not just a coincidence.
- Listen to me.
Even if aliens were real,
Joseph ain't some head-eating alien.
I mean, think about it.
The guy tried to shoot us.
Now, if I wanted to kill somebody
and I could eat heads,
I'd eat the head.
I wouldn't shoot them.
And I wouldn't shoot them first
and then eat the head,
because then it's just a dead head,
- and it probably ain't as juicy.
- Hold on.
Did you say "if aliens are real"?
Well, I was making
the Socratic argument,
not agreeing or denying either way.
Really? You said "if."
[SIGHS]
[BRIGHT ROCK MUSIC]
♪
Hey, Liv.
How's it, uh how's it going?
Sorry, did I scare you?
Scared? Me? No.
No way. I'm extremely calm.
Yeah, my last checkup,
my my heart rate was
described as shockingly low.
- Is that good?
- Sure.
All you really need is
a couple beats per minute,
and the rest is just busy work.
Plus, you know, my blood sugar
is so high, it balances out.
Ok.
Well, I just had
a few follow-up questions
- about Joseph.
- [GASPS]
Uh, Joseph?
I I don't know, um,
what you're talking about.
You broke into my car
in a dumb Richard Nixon mask and said,
"Joseph the alien is back in town"?
That could have been anyone.
Anyone with the Nixon mask
you wore at the Halloween office party
and your voice and your wedding ring.
Yeah, sorry. Um, that is not me.
Um, I lost my ring. I don't, um
I don't even wear it anymore.
[RING CLATTERING]
I don't know what's going on,
but I'll get the truth
out of you eventually.
[TWANGY VIOLIN MUSIC]
♪
Hey.
- What are you doing?
- Looking for Daisy's blanket.
It smells like her. I want it.
Hey. Give it back.
No, the baby is not here anymore.
She does not need it.
Now it's gonna smell like you.
- Give it.
- [GRUNTS]
Well, that's fine.
He's just been sleeping
with it for comfort.
It was not for comfort.
I came in here for a reason.
I do not remember why.
Oh, no, am I insane now?
- Nope, just human.
- Take that back.
I think you came in here to tell us
that you're moving out. Bye.
No, that was not it. Wait.
You know, I could get behind
having a powerful alien around.
At least you could
get the lids off jars.
Now you're just a useless idiot.
Idiot? Wait, Joseph.
That's it.
- That's it, Joseph.
- Joseph?
Uh, the oh, oh, the deputy guy.
- What about him?
- Yeah.
Was it about him
being a skillful lover?
I'm sure that wasn't it.
He is a hybrid Grey alien.
He can tell me what the Greys did
to block my power so I can unblock it
and defeat the Mantid.
I must find Joseph. But how?
So what you're saying is,
if we could contact Joseph
or if we knew anyone
who could contact him,
all of our problems
would just disappear?
Mine would.
Your issues would
take years to unpack.
Man. Ugh.
If only I knew
of a way we could contact
- Ok, fine.
- [CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS] I may have his number.
You saw him? Where?
Yeah. Where was it, Asta?
- Was it
- No.
Here? Was it here?
[SIGHS] Stop.
- On her face?
- Was it right here?
On her boobs? On her on her butt
Was it all up in here?
You had sex with the hybrid?
Uh-huh. It just happened.
And and then it kept happening,
and then he fell in love with me.
Oh, God, this has not
been my proudest month.
So while I was trapped by the Greys,
you were sexing with one.
No wonder you never
noticed the Mantid.
You were too busy noticing
the inside of Joseph's body.
Wait. You think I was inside him?
Hey, buddy, Asta can be
inside whoever she wants.
I wasn't inside him.
If the rectum fits.
- [SIGHS]
- Wait, this is good.
We can use his affection
to get what we want.
I just broke up with him.
I think he cried, ok? I can't do that.
Yes, you can.
Men will do anything for love.
I ate worms.
Asta, I mean, this guy could
save our lives, you know?
Come on, I used to call exes
for rides to the airport.
I'm calling him.
[LINE TRILLING]
Oh, hey, Asta. I can't talk.
I'm with my new girlfriend.
We just had sex eight
Sorry, how many times, dear?
Nine times? [CHUCKLES]
- She's so hot.
- Oh, ok, cool.
So I was just calling
to ask you something.
Yes, I'll marry you. I was just lying.
There's no one else.
You're my always and forever.
No, there is a Mantid in Patience,
and we need your help.
I'll do it.
I'll kill the Mantid
and prove my love for you.
No, wait. That's not
- He's in Harry's cabin.
- No
I feel better already.
[SIGHS]
[BRIGHT MUSIC]
♪
Hi, Nancy.
Uh, a friend of ours
stopped by here yesterday,
and we just wanted to see
if you remember him.
Oh, yeah, the Old Deputy.
He was here,
but I don't remember much.
He paid cash,
so I didn't get an address.
Sorry.
Does, uh does this jog your memory?
[GLASS SHATTERING]
I'm sorry.
I I could have sworn
that that was plastic.
We will obviously pay for that.
- Yes.
- So sorry.
Don't worry about it.
Got Ben's card on file.
I'll just charge it.
It hasn't been used in a while.
Funny, you used to come
in here all the time,
buy your lovely wife flowers.
What happened?
Yeah, Ben. What happened?
Feels like there's
no right answer to that.
It was a brutal and bloody affair.
We were evenly matched,
and we hit each other
with everything we had.
In the end, there were victories
on both sides, mostly mine.
[INHALES]
He did knock me down at one point.
[SIGHS] I made the tactical decision
to remain still and relieve myself
so he would think I was dead.
So you shit your pants?
It was a strategic play,
used to great effect
by the Tribulan aliens
and known across the universe
as a brilliant chess move.
So you shit your pants?
I changed before I came here.
He's lying about the Tribulans.
- There is no such chess move.
- Anyway
[SIGHS] I scared him off
so badly he immediately
[SNAPS FINGERS]
Folded his clothes,
packed his suitcase,
and ran off. [CHUCKLES]
Coward.
So he had time to pack?
He's an experienced traveler.
He had a system.
I am so glad that you survived,
but are you sure you don't want
me to drive you to the clinic?
- Because he ripped your arm off.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES] No, us Hybrids are stronger
and tougher than you humans.
This is the equivalent
of you stubbing your toe.
[BLOOD SPURTING] [GROANING]
- [GAGS]
- [GROANING]
Oh.
Well, now that I've proven
my love to you,
we can get married.
You will have to drive.
I'm feeling a little dizzy.
It must be the adrenaline of victory.
I'm just gonna lay down.
Don't worry about me.
Well, this is good, right?
- The Mantid's gone now.
- For now.
But he will be back,
and I must be ready when he is.
Joseph.
Could you face the kitchen
so I don't have
to look at your broken face?
Ok.
The Greys have implanted an inhibitor
in me that is blocking me
from my true alien form.
I need you to pull it out
so I can kill the Mantid
and avenge the death
of your attractiveness.
I don't know how to do all that stuff.
- Son of a bitch.
- Nope.
- Turn it back.
- Oh.
I don't know how to do all that stuff.
I'm a hybrid.
The Greys made sure
we knew the difference.
We didn't have access
to that kind of technology
or the Espresso machine.
You need a full Grey
for what you want.
Is anybody else seeing
any white dots in the air,
or is that just me?
[GLASS SHARDS CLINKING]
- Hi, Nancy.
- Hi, deputy Liv.
Did I just see
the Hawthornes leaving here?
Yep, they were asking a whole
bunch of strange questions
about that former Deputy.
- Joseph?
- Interesting.
Why is everyone so interested
in that guy, anyway?
I mean, he's a looker,
but he's not too bright.
I watched him go through
a whole pack of cards
'cause he misspelled "sincerely."
Really?
Do you still have any
of those cards lying around?
I think so.
Can I keep these?
Sure.
[SILENTLY] Thank you.
Oh, what type of flowers did he buy?
Pink peonies.
He said he wanted something
that symbolized
New love.
Joseph's in love
with someone in Patience.
♪
- Hi.
- Hey, there.
Welcome to the Copper Ridge. I'm Judy.
- I'll help you with this bag.
- Oh. Oh, thanks.
It's sad to leave this body behind.
I always wanted to be a doctor,
but it's clear this identity
has been compromised.
Oh.
I'll need a new look
while I plan my next move.
Oh, let me just get this. [CHUCKLES]
Time to eat.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[DOOR SLAMS]
- A little jumpy?
- Yeah.
Just knowing the Mantid is out there.
I had lunch with Kayla.
I couldn't shake the feeling
I was being watched.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm used to that.
- Being hot and all?
- You get it.
[CHUCKLES]
[DOOR SLAMS]
Where do I buy a beret?
Oh, I think I saw one in
the window at the dork store.
I need it for my Paris trip.
I found Bruce.
[GIGGLES] He is posting pictures.
Oh, my God. That's great.
He can give you back
your alien parts
Ness whatever.
- Uh, but that is not Paris.
- Mm-mm.
But that is the Eiffel Tower.
Your American education
has sadly failed you.
Maybe, but unless the Eiffel Tower
is next to a picture
of "Criss Angel mindfreak,"
your Grey friend is not in France.
- He's in Vegas.
- Wait, he's a Grey.
He can tell us how to stop the orbs
- and get them off Kate's back.
- That's right.
We're coming with you.
We could ask Bruce about the baby.
We do not have time
for extra questions.
I do not know how long Bruce
can survive in this atmosphere.
Well, we'll make time. All right.
- Road trip to Vegas.
- Whoo-hoo.
Wait. Never mind.
You know, you guys have fun.
I've got work, a lot of shifts.
You're banned from
the Paris hotel, aren't you?
You're banned from all the hotels?
D'arce.
Careful.
I may have to arrest you
for excessive handsomeness.
You know,
the minimum sentence for that
is a week in your bed.
- Oh, is that a fact?
- [LAUGHS]
- That is a fact.
- Lena.
The Sheriff told me about
the headless hunter case.
How's it going?
Like any cool details?
It's so funny.
I was just saying to Mike last week
that I was craving some action,
and out of nowhere
- comes a headless body.
- See?
I just kept saying,
be patient, you know?
And things will work out,
and then they did.
- I mean, not for the hunter.
- Hmm.
Forensics is leaning
toward an animal attack,
but only part gone was the head,
like a bite, but clean.
So the tendons,
they weren't jagged or crushed.
So really, who knows?
Reminds me of this lady
back in DC, mm.
She died in her sleep
surrounded by 78 cats.
She wasn't dead ten minutes
before they started turning her corpse
- into a damn golden corral.
- I heard about that.
Ate the meat right down to the bone.
You want some fries, Deputy?
I might never actually eat again.
- Mm.
- Whew.
Still, it makes you think, right?
Suspect's not a human,
but also not an animal.
If only there was something
in-between human and animal.
Like, what could that be, sir,
like, if something that was real
was in-between animals and humans?
- You mean like a Bonobo.
- No.
Well, a Bonobo is the closest relative
to human beings
in the animal kingdom
Hell, even more so
than the chimpanzee,
and you can teach a chimp
to build a treehouse.
It's not a Bonobo.
It's hard to say what we're seeing.
We'll get more evidence
once we search up Blackburn Mountain.
- Mm-hmm.
- Blackburn?
Like the place with all the caves?
Why?
Like, why would you want to go there?
'Cause those caves are
the perfect place to hide.
No. No, they're not.
They're too
They're full of silverfish.
Well, I guess we'll see.
Search and rescue is starting
a thorough sweep tomorrow,
so whatever's hiding up there,
we're gonna find it.
Mm-hmm.
I can do it.
You wanna join the search team?
No team. Just me.
I'm i'm i'm I'll do it.
Oh, thanks, Liv, but
it's actually too much area
for one person to cover alone.
Oh. Oh, I see.
- It's because I'm a woman?
- Huh?
You think I can't search some caves
without a man's help?
[LAUGHS] Wow.
I thought you had a girl's back, Lena.
Now I am definitely
searching the caves alone
to prove you wrong. [CHAIR THUDS]
[WHISPERS] I'm disappointed.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
What the hell?
♪
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
Neon lights, big spenders ♪
perfect nights you can't remember ♪
champagne ♪
No, we don't have time to see a show.
I just want Magic Mike
to pull a rabbit out of a hat
or tell me which card is mine.
Ok, that's not what "Magic Mike" is.
Or show me his penis.
Ok, so you do know what the show is.
- Bruce.
- Harry, you found me.
Vegas, baby. You just missed Robert.
He was happy he won $800, but
then he was sad he lost $800.
This town is a ride.
We weren't sure you'd still be here.
Harry said the Greys can't survive
too long in earth's atmosphere.
How are you still
I don't know.
The excitement, the energy?
It might also be all the iodine
in the 15 shrimp cocktails I ate.
Whatever it is,
I've never felt so alive.
- Ow.
- Whoa.
Huh.
I shouldn't be too surprised.
My foot fell off in the elevator.
I'll grab Bruce. You grab the arm.
- What?
- Come on.
- Um
- Ow.
Yeah, oh, my
[QUIRKY DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Hi, Peter.
- Hi.
♪
What?
I didn't know
you were bringing company.
Holy shit, a cyborg man.
♪
And besides not running off
a lawn mower engine,
your design is like 50% go-kart.
I mean, if you want, I could paint you
some flames around the sides here.
No, thanks.
I just need to get out of here
so I can go find my son.
- Liv drew that.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, the Deputy here,
she's quite the artist.
She puts that painting pig down
at the county fair to shame.
Although she's got
the advantage, right?
She can she can use her hands.
She ain't gotta put the pencil
in her mouth like lil pigcasso.
Thank you.
To be honest, I'm
I'm kind of glad you followed me here.
Peter's proof that aliens are real.
You don't have to pretend
to doubt anymore.
Now, hold on one second. All right?
From everything you done
told me about this project
You can call me Peter.
This Peter here,
is that he was made by some
shadowy black-ops Pentagon
clandestine strike force
group sons of bitches, right?
Not some aliens.
You know, I met a lot
of people like you
in my line of work.
Hell, I was you once.
The mind is a strange thing.
We can believe in things
that make no logical sense,
like like love, but reject things
that we see right in front of us.
Just ask yourself this.
Why would the government
spend billions
of dollars on turning
a 70-year-old podcaster
- into a weapon?
- I I I don't know.
Liv told me you saw
an alien that night,
and you captured it
before the government
came and cleared the scene.
Let me guess.
They told you it was a radiation leak,
and you think you're seeing things.
'Cause I was seeing things.
I put the alien in my trunk,
and then it disappeared.
Mm, mm.
Tell me, do you ever wonder
why it wasn't in the trunk?
[TENSE MUSIC]
He's disintegrating.
Quick, Bruce,
how can we stop the Greys
from sending orbs after our friend?
You can't.
They won't call off the orbs
until they find
what they're looking for.
Bruce, I need you to help me.
When I was on the ship,
the Greys did something
to me to
to block my true alien form.
So whatever strength you have left,
use it to reverse it.
Also they stole my wallet.
Ok, Harry, they didn't
block your powers.
How can that be?
Every time I try to access
my alien energy, I
I feel nothing.
Greys have always been jealous
of your people's abilities.
They wouldn't block your energy.
They'd steal it.
His energy?
Everything in the universe
is energy, sweetheart.
They separated out Harry's
atomic alien particles
and left the rest.
Sorry, Harry, but you're human.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
This is impossible.
There must be some way to reverse it,
some way for me to get
my alien energy back
And my wallet.
Greys would never give it up,
not without getting
something they want more in return.
I think the wallet
is kind of an HR issue.
Ha, I know what I'm going to do.
I'm going to give the Greys
what they really want
You, the Grey defector.
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, what?
When humans lie to themselves,
it's called rationalizing.
- Ow.
- [YELLING]
[LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC]
Because it's rational to do
whatever you can
to make yourself feel better.
Well, it's been a long time ♪
since I've felt the wind move ♪
- strong and swift ♪
- D'arce?
I didn't know you were coming over.
- Hey.
- Everything ok?
Uh, I was just dropping off
Daisy's blankie.
Forgot to put it with
the rest of her things.
Looks like an awfully big bag
for just a blanket.
Might be a couple
other things in there I bought,
one or two books, a few toys,
and a bread-shaped pillow.
That was more for me, so
You know what?
You you came all this way.
You wanna hold her?
Uh, ok.
- Yeah.
- Just for a second.
- Yeah.
- [GASPS]
Here you go.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [BABBLING]
[CHUCKLING] Hi. Hi.
Ain't it funny how things
seem to work out ♪
all right in the end? ♪
Don't tell Asta.
♪
all right in the end? ♪
[GURGLING]
No, don't you die on me,
not before I finish betraying you.
Harry, you can't do this.
Bruce saved you, and now
you're trying to sacrifice him
just to get what you want.
You don't do that to your friends.
What do you care?
It is the same thing
you did with Joseph.
What? No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
You used him for what you wanted.
He got hurt. We are the same.
Oh, God. You're right.
[SOBS]
I cannot find a pulse.
- Oh.
- Stop.
Ohh, it's no use.
The Greys would not even want him.
Oh, what good is he?
They would not even be able
to torture him.
Harry, I forgive you
for trying to betray me.
You gave me the best day
and a half of my entire life.
I got to see the most
beautiful planet,
saw my first sunset,
and I may have married a Greek
man named Milos last night.
I don't know. I was pretty drunk.
Yes, you said that you could help.
Please hurry. Your body is souping.
I know what the Greys want.
Why are you whispering?
You're speaking telepathically.
[INDISTINCT].
Oh.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
[PANTING] For you.
Oh.
Um oh, a romantic card.
[CHUCKLES] And, um
And a check for $10 made out to cash.
I didn't know your last name.
Uh, now that we're
getting back together, I
I want to establish some boundaries.
You can do whatever you want to me,
and I will always come back to you.
Stop, that's
That's not why I called.
Ah, I understand, I understand.
I can assure you, I am injured,
but I am all man.
I still have most of my penis.
Thank you.
Um, no, I called you to apologize.
I used you because
I wanted help with the Mantid,
and I shouldn't have done that,
and I
And I never should have
made you feel like
you had to fight aliens
to win my love.
But come on, Joseph.
You don't love me.
But I do.
When we're apart, the world is
[SIGHS] Dark and empty.
But with you, it's bright.
And the mean voices
in my head aren't as loud.
That's what I mean.
That's that's not love.
It's fear.
- Will you be in fear with me?
- No.
No, that's that's not a thing.
Um, ok, uh, you're on your own
for the first time,
and you're really scared. I get that.
You know, I'm scared too.
But you can't let it control you.
My whole life has been about the Greys
and doing awful things for them.
I mean, look what we did
to Ben and Kate's baby.
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC]
Being with you made me feel good.
♪
You made me feel like I could be good.
♪
What if I never feel that way again?
♪
If you felt good with me,
it's only because
I brought out the good
that's already inside you.
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
I felt good with you, too, you know?
And there's plenty of good in us.
We just we just have to find it.
Oh oh oh baby ♪
where have you gone? ♪
I've been missing you
since you came along ♪
ooh, mama, tell him ♪
I don't want to give
my life away to anyone ♪
ooh, mama, tell him ♪
I don't want to give
my life away to anyone ♪
♪
Son of a bitch.
I believe in aliens.
And this is our ultra-special suite
equipped with our best
working microwave.
Whatever you cook in it
comes out tasting like
the best fish sticks.
♪
[SIGHS] Actually, um, this one
could use a bit more cleaning, so
Ooh, mama, tell him ♪
I don't want to give
my life away to anyone ♪
Humanity is infectious.
If you let it,
it will get into your blood
and travel all the way to your heart.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
♪
many things connected ♪
Hello?
Life has given us ♪
"I don't know where your baby is,
"but I know that she's on earth
and she's safe.
From Joseph."
Life has given us ♪
Hon.
Love's eternity ♪
♪
[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]
♪
♪
I do not care now
that I have a human body.
I am not afraid of becoming
too human because
I do not lie to myself
about what I am.
Bruce was my friend,
and I tried to sacrifice him
to the Greys for my own gain.
I now know that even
without my alien energy,
I still have my cold,
dark alien heart.
♪
[GROANS]
♪
Goodbye, my friend.
You will be missed.
♪
Before Bruce died,
he told me there was one thing
I could trade to the Greys,
the technology of my people.
Powerful enough,
the Greys could use it
to destroy my home planet.
But if that will get me
my alien energy back,
it is a price I am willing to pay.
I need that technology,
and I know where to find it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
sync & corrections awaqeded