Killing Eve (2018) s04e08 Episode Script

Hello, Losers

1
No!
No! Please, no!
You can't have her.
She's mine.
No! No, no, no, no!
Huh!
Oh! Oh, my God! Oh!
Huh!
Where are you?
I'll find you!
You've trespassed. I'll kill you!
Huh!
Arggh!
Oh!
Villanelle!
Hey!
Were you watching that?
What? Do you want me to say thank you?
Jesus
I know where they are.
Or where they will be.
And we don't have much time.
Konstantin said you'd know
how to decode this.
It's Helene's.
You steal phones from corpses now.
They don't know she's dead yet.
They're having a meeting
and this is our chance.
And this is why you're here?
You know why I'm here.
You want this as much as I do.
What did you do to her?
Why? Are you looking for inspiration?
Villanelle!
Amateur.
Oh, are you kidding me?
Hey!
Jesus! Oh!
Villanelle!
Oh, God
She's coming.
Jesus. Oh, come on, come on, come on!
Oh! Jesus! Oh!
I will kill you bitches!
Engine, engine.
Okay.
Villanelle!
Oh!
Villanelle!
No signal.
Well, maybe we can tether it.
Is your phone working?
Are you gonna help?
You just don't get it, do you?
You don't want to say it?
Fine. I don't care. But I can.
I need you, Villanelle.
I came all this way to be with you
and, I mean, in the middle,
of like, nowhere!
You're angry.
I'm angry.
You're hurt.
I'm hurt.
That is life, and we're
running out of time.
So you need to stop pouting and
being a suck face and get on with it.
Huh! Oh, don't
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Stop it! Stop stop it!
Are you kidding me?
- Stop !
- Hey!
Are you two okay?
All good, thanks.
Okay.
I am the rage of all women condensed
to the point of explosion
I'm the silence of
violation finally broken
I am the joke behind the
eloquent feminist slogan
And I will not behave myself
Your accent is terrible.
You sound like a drunk bat.
Come on, then. Quick, march.
Into the skies and out of control
Get ready for my dangerous soul
Unshakeable heart,
unstoppable change
Now I see the bars of this cage
- Oh!
- Huh!
Mary Poppins.
- Oh, jeez.
- Oh, the storms 'round here!
They come on in no time.
We couldn't leave you out
there in the elements.
- Could we, bubba?
- Oh, that's right, honey.
Mwah!
Oh, it'll probably blow over by morning.
Until then, I guess we just
get to know each other.
- Yeah?
- Chat.
It might be fun.
So how did you guys meet?
Yeah.
Oh, she stalked me,
drove my husband away,
left me with nothing.
She stalked me. She put me in prison.
She tongued my boss.
Oh, no!
- You
- I'm so gullible.
- Oh, God.
- How about you two?
You
Well, um
- I'm gonna Yeah, I'll tell her.
- Yeah, you. Yeah, okay.
My Sorry.
Maggie gave me a kidney.
I was in hospital visiting a friend
and Donnie was in the
next bed on dialysis.
I thought he was cute.
I thought she looked like she had
a kidney spare. Only kidding.
And then six months later
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
- Ta-da!
- Look at that.
Kidney twins.
Aww.
We are bound together forever.
- That's true, baby.
- Oh, my bubba.
Oh, I love you, I love you
I love you. I love I love you!
This place used to be owned
by an Austrian woman
who came here as a child
on a Kindertransport.
When she died, she gifted the
whole house and everything in it
to the British government as
a way of saying thank you.
I'm sure she'd be thrilled with
you manhandling her crockery.
Do you want to know
why I got into this job?
Would a 'no' deter you?
I believe in what we do
and I know it might surprise
you to hear this,
but I take pride in
protecting our country.
Well, the good bits anyway.
Not so much the eggy bits.
And I do the unsavoury things
that we all have to do
because I believe that they are
necessary for the greater good.
But you?
I think you love the unsavoury.
You get off on the lying
and the sneaking around
and the little nod to somebody
on a Monday morning
that gets somebody a
thousand miles away killed.
Aren't you even a tiny
bit ashamed of yourself?
Unplug the listening devices.
All of them.
That's the lot.
Your nice new girlfriend from
the home counties, Melanie
is actually a Russian
agent from Vladivostok.
- Bollocks.
- We've seen a lot of those too.
You really have hit her with
a deluge of penis portraits.
She did move in with you bizarrely
quickly, don't you think?
Or maybe someone with your
vanity wouldn't notice that.
She's probably there now, all alone,
free to ransack through
your sordid little bits.
Would you bring in my bags
before you Ugh.
- Okay, are you ready?
- No, no, no!
- It's it's okay!
- I'm scared, I'm scared!
- It's gonna be fine. Relax, relax.
- Whenever you do it All right, all right.
Just do it.
The moon!
I love this card. This is
a really mysterious card.
This means you have to
trust your intuition.
I think I might kill them.
I think I might help you.
Do you guys want me to read your tarot?
You totally should. It's like
she can see into your soul.
Okay.
Perfect.
So I'll do a simple three-card reading.
The first card represents the past,
the second the present
and the third the future.
I'm complicated.
Okay.
The tower. That speaks of chaos
and destruction in your past.
Can you think of why that might be?
Let's have a look at your present.
Mmm, the lovers.
Now, normally, it would denote unity,
but the card is upside down
so it speaks of the opposite.
Is there any unresolved
conflict in your partnership?
Do my future.
The sun!
The sun?
That's one of the best
cards you can get.
The sun is magnificent and holy.
Whatever path you walk down,
you'll be blessed
with a celestial light.
The sun is life.
Okay, you know what? Do my future.
- Don't shove the sun.
- Let's go.
I can do you a three-card reading too.
I don't want that. I just want
the future, the last one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, what do you want?
24 hours.
And a taxi to Hampstead.
They're just cards, Eve.
- There's no such thing as fate.
- Really? What's this, then?
You're a lot today.
I'm a lot every day.
One of her organs is inside of him
and they still can't piss
in front of each other.
I wouldn't take it too seriously.
Hey, are you two okay
sharing a sleeping bag?
What are you doing?
We're walking in a curved
line into something new
The birds are watching
every step I take
Beneath the stars, beneath the moon
There is a hole
Shall we steal their stupid campervan?
It's covered up in darkness
Yes.
But then there is something
Moving against me
It's not in line
With the world I know
Oh, okay.
So the nearest truck
stop isn't that far.
Maybe they'll have a phone charger.
I can't believe Helene's phone dies now.
What do they even have at truck stops?
Trucks.
Oh.
Feed me one, will you, honey?
Sure thing, bubba.
Eugh
Oh, did you get the coffee one?
- Yeah.
- Mm, that's karma.
Ugh.
But don't forget
It's me who put you
where you are now
And I can put you back down too
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it
When I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you
When you say that you don't need me
It's much too late to find
You think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back
or we will both be sorry
Don't you want me, baby?
Don't you want me, oh-oh-oh-oh?
Don't you want me
Oh, my God, they do curly fries.
Curly fries?
What?
Can I use this?
Yes!
Yes!
This had better be good.
I have 22 hours
and I would like to take The
Twelve down before suppertime.
Konstantin's dead.
I killed him.
With a pizza cutter.
Is that it?
He wanted me to tell you
he always loved you.
And to give you this.
You could've posted it.
I just thought maybe
Well, now you've told me.
Wait!
You're a psychopath.
- I love mustard!
- It's messed up.
I'm the psychopath? Please.
What?
Go for it.
Okay, we have an address.
The Barn Swallow?
Are you sure this is the right location?
It's what the postcard said.
That's the pub by MI6, cheap tossers.
One time, me and Bill were in there
and saw a man vomit into his
pint glass and then drink it.
Bill.
You murdered him on a
dance floor in Berlin.
Of course.
I remember Bill.
So do I.
What's your name?
Pam.
Pam, I've made two
discoveries in the last year.
Firstly, that I look
exceptional in linen.
Really. Truly unbeatable.
And, secondly, that emotions or
feelings, as people apparently
like to call them nowadays,
are at best an inconvenience
and at worst a total scourge
on one's freedoms,
guilt and shame especially.
Don't let them take hold.
This reminds me of my daughter,
so tranquil and serene.
- Is she ?
- Oh, alive and well.
Just supremely irritating.
Um
Don't open your mouth.
I've just seen a dead fox.
Oh!
Ahh!
Ugh.
Take your time to read
The things you see in me
And when you feel alone
Just come away, let's go
The time it takes to fight
You are left behind
Just leave it all and stay
I won't be far away
Where we are
You will find another light to chase
They come, they go away
We're here to stay, the broken
Where we are
You will find another light to chase
You come, you go away
Where we stay
Upstairs rooms are all empty.
Cellar just had a guy in there
eating pickles straight from the jar.
How wretched.
Shall we go?
Carolyn.
How are you?
- I miss Havana.
- Me too.
The music, the dancing.
The inebriated nudity.
Could you two give us a moment?
Mmm
Whatever muck you intend
to sling, please spare me.
Actually, I wanted to thank you.
How disconcerting.
If you hadn't spotted me in that meeting
the morning after
Bill's karaoke party
I wouldn't even be here.
I'd still be warming my
tea in the microwave.
One of the great unspoken
truths of life, Eve,
is that people behave exactly
as you expect them to.
Take you, for example.
You're about to embark
on some mad endgame
when in fact you know, deep
down, you're just a woman
who likes an inappropriately
timed croissant
on a hungover Sunday morning.
And you are gonna race me to it
even though you know, deep down
you don't have an excuse anymore.
You knew who killed Kenny.
You just pretended not to so
you could keep playing the game.
I was going to do that, yes.
But now I'm going to behave
exactly as you'd expect me to
and do something different.
I'm sorry about Konstantin.
He's dead?
Finally, the head honchos
of The Twelve in one room.
You can have this one,
Eve, with my blessing.
It's always been mine.
Pamela?
Change of plan. We're going for a walk.
They changed location.
I owe you a dare.
- What's happening?
- I This can't be right.
I mean, it looks like a wedding.
Let me see.
Smart.
They're here.
We've got to get on before it leaves.
I don't know why it's so popular.
It's as if ice had only
just been invented.
Did you want to go up the London Eye?
My information is no
use 300 feet in the air
in a pod of other people's flatulence.
I see.
Feeling homesick?
Surprisingly, yes,
but you don't go back
to MI6 empty-handed.
What's the plan?
Whatever Eve and Villanelle
are gonna do is happening.
Perhaps that's what I wanted.
You can't win the game unless
the game is on, can you?
Who are you loyal to?
Even loyalty is a dubious virtue
except when it's to me.
Now, let's not pussyfoot around.
Do you want the job?
No.
Thanks for the coffee.
- Hi there.
- Hi.
How do we know who The Twelve is?
We might just have to kill them all.
- The boat's about to leave.
- That's everyone.
Uh, she's not here yet.
Wait. Are you Natsuko?
Yes.
- Oh!
- Natsuko! Thank God.
- Yes!
- We've been calling you for ages.
- Oh.
- I thought I was gonna have to officiate
my own wedding for a moment there.
- Come. Follow me.
- We're starting now. Come on.
Great!
Oh!
Distract them.
Wonderful. Just through here.
Uh
You are a handsome man.
You are also a handsome man.
Together
you are
two handsome men.
But also so much more than that.
Relationships
are a lot of work.
They require effort.
And you will have tough times.
Sometimes you'll feel like
you're losing your way,
and sometimes you'll feel
like you're losing each other.
But the beauty in your relationship
will be found in the ways you reunite.
Have you ever heard of kintsugi?
Okay, kintsugi is the Japanese
art form of gluing
Stay with me here.
It's a way of gluing broken
pots back together with gold.
It actually strengthens the pot.
It's a way of bonding
to create something new
something completely your own.
Uh, you may now kiss the groom!
Hello, losers.
Yeah, yeah, mmm
It's like candy
I can feel it when you walk
Even when you talk it takes over me
You're so dandy
I wanna know
Can you feel it too just like I do?
Just like I do?
This stuff is starting now
It's the same feeling
I always seem to get around you
There's no mistaking
I'm clearly taken
By the simple mere thought of you
Oh!
This stuff is starting
now, stuff is starting
This stuff is starting now
This stuff is starting now
Ooh!
My eyes roll in my head
I toss and turn in my bed
I did it, Eve.
Uh don't you mean 'we' did it?
Yeah, but mostly me.
Oh!
Uh
Oh
Eve, Eve
- Oh, my !
- Jump, Eve!
No!
Try to keep it quiet
But you know how it is
When you're alone
I've been thinking about you
I've been thinking about you
She knows what she likes
She doesn't know what she likes
Here is a testimony
Of our love
She throws her life away
She never knows what to say
Standing in a cold room
I die a little
Cry a little
And try to pick up
The pieces
Jolly good.
I've been thinking about you
I missed everything about you
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