The Bear (2022) s05e02 Episode Script

[pensive music plays]
This is bad.
Oh, good.
Suits and all the uniforms are ruined.
Ugh, and so are the service whites.
[sighs] Marcus, the dehydrator is toast.
[sighs] Waist aprons are good.
All this random beer is good.
Why do we have this?
[water gushing]
Okay, okay, thank fuck.
Limited edition merch
has been spared, everyone.
Let's make sure we're optimalizing,
guys, okay?
-[chuckles] Oh, my God.
-What?
[both laughing]
All right. Maximalize. Let's go.
[water trickling]
We'll get you another one.
[Tina] It's… disgusting.
[Luca] This has fucked the place.
[metal clanking]
[water trickling continues]
[Marcus grunts] Water damage
kinda matches the pattern on the wall.
[Luca] That's a win.
[Richie] Neil Geoff, can we get
a 20 on that plumber, please?
[Neil] Syd's on the phone
with him right now.
But how is this even flooded right here?
Same line as the basement.
The second water line runs
through the locker room and… and bar.
Okay, gang,
so this is what we're gonna do.
We need to dry this out pronto,
so we're gonna go maximum towels
and maximum fans, please.
-[Marcus] Yes, Chef.
-Thank you. Thank you, Chef.
-We're really not gonna close?
-Yeah.
If we close for one day,
we won't have enough to cover labor.
The water line in the main dining room and
the dish pit, they need to be shut off,
like, 30 seconds ago.
Uh, but Nat's getting shopvacs
and box fans, so we'll be good.
-We are good.
-Yeah.
Chef, what can I do?
[Sydney] Uh, nothing, nothing. We're good.
-We're all good, so. Yeah.
-Got it. Good.
Yo, Carm, there's a bunch of hot plates
and boxes downstairs.
What do you want me to do with them?
[clicks tongue] Syd, what do you,
uh, what do you think?
I think that…
[sighs] Um, it's like, uh…
[chuckles]
Sorry… [chuckles] …I just… Sorry.
It was like everybody started
staring at the same time.
-You want us to…
-Um, maybe just, like, for a second
-just so I can, um, just…
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. Yes, sorry.
All right, the boxes.
Please put the boxes by the back door.
Those cannot get any more wet.
And, uh… [snaps fingers]
…the-the hot plates in the pantry.
And, Carm, could you please
put a tent over the drain?
Uh, but you don't have
to do anything with it.
-We'll just have the plumber get to it.
-Yeah, no, I got something.
-Yeah, okay. Great, thank you.
-Thank you, Chef.
It's all good.
-Okay, chefs!
-[staff] Chef.
We have no paper products,
one working sink with hot water
in the locker room,
and, uh, half our clientele
is street and sanitation,
so no Beef window today,
but that's… that's okay.
-Um, Angel, Manny.
-[both] Chef.
What do you think
about setting up a dish pit
in the locker room in, like, 20 minutes?
[thunder rumbling]
On it, Chef.
Yo, um, I need a spot. One person, 7:30.
Cousin. That's the worst time.
I know. But I need it.
I just… I want my dad
to see what we built.
-You know, before…
-We get our first star?
You got it.
Gene, hi, it's Natalie.
I'm just wondering if, uh,
if that estimate, if that still stands
for-for when you guys are gonna show here.
Okay, that-that-that's
not an answer. [chuckles]
Gene, I am being completely civil.
No, no, no, no, I just…
I want you to help me out here.
Are we talking 45?
Can you just say a fucking number?
Okay, now you're getting personal.
Just say an hour. [chuckles]
I will come to your office, Gene.
I will show up there.
[door closes]
Shit.
-86 caviar.
-Shit, really?
-Nothing?
-No, sirs.
Gotta pivot.
That was our best dessert.
We need something killer.
-[clicks tongue] We do The Candle?
-It's not ready.
Make it ready.
My dad's coming for dinner.
Shit.
-Picked a hell of a night to come in.
-[cracking an egg]
Yeah, I just thought
I'd stack the odds, you know.
-[cracking an egg]
-You're not gonna let him down.
I don't know him enough to let him down.
Just another guest, right?
Right.
-Let's make it perfect.
-[cracking an egg]
[Sydney] What… What are you doing?
[Carmy] Hey, it's, uh,
I put the tarp up and then…
[Sydney] Yeah, no, no.
I-I asked you not to do that though.
Oh, I know. There's shit everywhere.
Yeah, I know there's shit everywhere,
but I didn't want to stir it up
because then the water's gonna go down
and then it's gonna go fuck up the drain
even more and flood more.
I'm definitely not making it flood more.
[water hissing]
What is this?
-[Carmy] What?
-Cigarettes.
-There's leaves too.
-And cigarettes.
This is why you shouldn't smoke.
The smoking leads to flooding and death.
I don't smoke anymore.
-Exactly.
-What.
[Sydney grunts]
Uh, Chef, the Wagyu hasn't arrived yet,
but when it does, we'll have 105 beef,
180 prawn, 145 scallop, and 72 lamb.
Would you like me to repeat that?
-Yeah.
-No.
180 prawn. 140…
Not, like, condescending.
-What about pastry?
-What… Stop.
[clears throat] What about pastry?
We're out of caviar.
They're redoing the menu.
-Changing the menu is a bad idea.
-Is it?
Would you please confirm
that you are handling your prep?
Yes, as soon as this building
stops falling apart.
All right, thank you, Chef.
-Thank you.
-[Carmy] Careful.
So the Wagyu should have
been here an hour ago.
Good, good.
-Everything's either gonna be okay or--
-Or not at all.
Yeah, no middle ground.
Never.
Good, good.
Um, this, then the lamb, please.
Yes, Chef.
[Sydney groaning]
[thunder rumbling]
I'll do anything. [chuckles]
I'll-I'll sweep up, work nights,
whatever, you know?
And I'm out of a job now, so.
Please just, uh, let me know.
Thanks.
-Hey.
-Hey… [chuckles] …you good?
Yeah, I'm good.
-We got this.
-Yeah.
-We got this. Yeah.
-We got this. [chuckles]
[Tina chuckles]
[thunder rumbling]
-[Richie] Chef Syd, you down here?
-[water trickling]
Great.
-Is everything okay?
-Yeah, great.
Hey, you have a moment?
Um, I mean…
Well, you know how sometimes that I…
I have a hard time winding down at night?
Which is… It's not a problem.
-No, I mean…
-I've gotten used to it.
So last night, I was using that time
to do a little tax research,
and I unearthed a tax program that I think
can have some serious upsides for us.
Okay, but the restaurant's,
like… [chuckles]
…completely flooded right now, so.
No, no, no, I'm aware,
but tomorrow we'll be dry and we'll be
up and running, and, you know,
we're gonna have taxes to pay.
You know,
this organization does not stabilize.
We maximize. Stagnation is death.
Okay, so what I unearthed is
this program…
and this is something that I think
will really actually appeal
to someone of your generation--
whereby we donate our used oils
and fats to this company,
and they turn it into candles.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
And then, they flip the candles,
and we get a tax credit
and… and fucking sustainability.
-Yeah, okay.
-So you like?
-Yeah, yeah.
-All right, I'll put it into action.
Well, okay, I, uh, sure, maybe.
What, do I need to ask Jimmy?
Please don't say I have to ask Jimmy.
Well, I just, I don't know
what specifically, you know what I mean,
is happening there.
What-What do you want to ask?
Well, I just mean, like, you know, like,
how does the partnership actually work?
You know, like if there's a jump ball,
-do we need a tie breaker?
-I don't know.
Is it fifty-fifty, fifty-fifty?
-That's 200.
-Correct. That's what I'm saying.
Okay, uh, let's get into the specifics
of this later just because I think
there's good stuff in here,
and I don't… Like, I wanna sit with it.
-Yes, okay.
-But I like it. You keep it.
Sorry, one last thing and I promise,
I promise I will leave you alone.
Who among us has power of attorney?
-[caller] Hello?
-Oh, yeah, hi.
This is Tina calling from The Bear
checking on our order.
Hold, please.
-[tense music plays]
-[thunder rumbling]
[Tina panting]
Hey, I'm sorry, guys,
but I gotta lift one of you.
Uh, we're behind on Syd's prep,
and she's slammed, so…
-Who's on lamb?
-Ugh, Carmy, but he's cleaning the drain.
I got you.
All right, thank you, Chef.
-[Sydney] Hey, slow down.
-We need to see these fucking pipes.
-No, why, why, why?
-[person] Floods devalue the property.
Rotted pipes do the same.
We need to know what we're working with.
-Sorry, who-who are you?
-Cheese.
Terry Cheddario, niece of Computer.
I'm Terry. Don't call me Terry.
Won't. Um, listen, Unc. [chuckles]
[stutters] So the plumber might not
be able to come until tomorrow.
Okay, hold on.
The EPA is after my ASIC miners.
I'll be right back.
These conditions are hazardous.
Thanks.
No, no, no, no, wait, what?
[caller] Wagyu order
for The Bear was canceled.
Got nothing for you guys. Sorry.
[Sydney] Uh, excuse me, sorry. [stammers]
[stammers] What? Who…
Who canceled the Wagyu? [chuckles]
[Cicero] I did.
-Why?
-'Cause it costs four grand.
You couldn't have told me?
Um, maybe I could have, but, darling,
-four grand for some fucking hamburger?
-Day of, not nice.
So that leaves us
with 55 Wagyu from yesterday.
Did you include the low boys
in that count?
Yes, Chef, but-but not the short rib.
Yeah, because I-I made them for family.
Because fuck my life to death.
[inhales sharply]
It was a clog, I think.
-Feels pressurized.
-How can you tell?
I just got fucking power-washed,
you munchkin.
Okay, enough.
Hi, please just tape the thing.
-Be brave, bro. You got this, come on.
-I'm gonna tape it.
[Tina] What are you guys doing?
They're trying to pipe the patch…
[stammers] …patch the pipe.
Ted's scared. He needed help.
-Well, I need help upstairs, so let's go.
-[claps]
Take the old patch off.
Put the new patch on.
Harrison Ford style, quick, fast, boom.
-"Nine of hearts."
-"Nine of hearts." [chuckles]
Stop. I hate this.
-No, I was gonna… Okay.
-You weren't gonna do anything.
Nice. To the top left, yeah.
[water trickling]
Yeah.
I'd call you a pussy,
but you don't deserve it.
I don't.
-Also, I'm not swearing today.
-Okay.
Gentlemen.
She's perfectly right calling you a pussy.
Yeah, fuck you. I didn't wanna get
fucking sprayed again.
I told you you weren't
gonna get fucking sprayed.
[tense music plays]
-Chef.
-Chef.
That's not bad.
-Waited years to hear you say that.
-But you missed a spot right there.
[chuckling] Fuck off!
-[Carmy] Yo, where you need me.
-Uh… T?
[Tina] Oh, we are… [sighs] …way behind
on general prep.
-Chef, let's go. I got you.
-[Tina] Gracias.
-Uh, Gary, are those usable?
-[Sydney] Yes!
Yeah, yeah, they're usable,
but I just don't know which is which.
[scoffs] You know those inside out.
-The years, Tina. The years.
-[softly] The years. [chuckles]
[water trickling]
[sighs]
[Cheese] I don't even need
to survey the rest of it.
You've got active criminal occupation,
combustible hazardous storage,
unresolvable code violations
that Richie cannot and will not correct.
That's also on the Superfund list,
so the EPA has identified
extensive subsurface contamination.
That means your soil's fucked,
your roof is caving in,
and your deed requires you
to pay the buyer money
if they flip it
into anything but a restaurant.
Zoning restrictions, noise complaints,
Donna and the Lincoln Park Zoo incident,
historical landmarks,
stormwater ordinances,
inspection requirements,
brownfield incentives.
That's expensive too.
That's expensive too.
That's expensive too.
Lastly, just by looking at this drain,
I can almost guarantee you
that this entire property is sitting
on a sinkhole,
giving you about five to ten years
before the ground starts to collapse
into itself, not confirmed though.
I need my geotech.
Whoever buys would have
to replace the plumbing,
-which in most cases is…
-Not even close.
No one looking for a restaurant is gonna
buy a restaurant with bones this bad.
Restaurants are a horrible business.
Thanks, Terry. I'll keep that in mind.
Sydney, you have the conn. Cheese.
[Sugar sobs]
-[gentle knocks]
-[Sugar sniffles]
[softly] Hi. [sighing] Oh.
Hey.
-[whispers] Thank you.
-Well…
[inhales deeply] Well, uh…
T, if-if this place dies,
I feel like I will have wasted
a lot of time. [sighs heavily]
[softly] 'Cause my daughter's asleep
when I get home.
And I have to wake her up
to say goodbye in the morning.
And I can't remember
the last time I had five minutes
of-of alone time with my husband.
[inhales deeply]
And my child is with my insane mother.
I'm telling Syd to do her job less.
Like, maybe this is a sign. Right?
Like, fuck this place.
Like, get the fuck out.
I mean, I… I'm stalking my child
like a fucking stalker.
-Sug.
-[sniffles]
-It's always gonna be painful.
-[sobs]
That's the truth. I'm sorry.
People are gonna say,
"Oh, it's good that you're leaving her,"
that she'll grow up knowing
that you work, this and that.
Fuck that shit.
Your daughter doesn't care
that you're ambitious.
Your baby just wants
to look at your face, yeah?
[softly] Yeah.
But if your face is always sad…
'cause you're home
and not doing the thing that you love,
what baby's gonna want
to look at that face?
[sniffles]
Well, I'll probably be home a lot more
when the whole industry goes away.
We got time to figure it out.
Just not right now.
-[sniffles] Yeah.
-[softly] Mm-hmm.
We gotta dry the booths. [chuckles]
[Sydney sighs]
[Carmy] Chef.
What are you doing?
Uh… staring.
At?
Trimming 15%.
New design?
Eventually.
[Tina] Hey. How's it going? Talk to me.
Good, Chef. But pots, pans, plates,
no podemos. Won't fit.
Yeah, and we can only do,
like, one cup at a time. So…
Okay, well, just keep pushing through.
Every second counts, okay?
Yo, Tina. [speaks Spanish]
It's just another day.
We're gonna be all right.
-Want me to get another Cambro?
-Uh, sure, yeah.
Great.
Let's fucking go!
Are you fucking with me?
What?
Are you fucking with me? What is that?
I just meant, like,
let's fucking… let's… let's go.
-Like, being fake positive?
-No, I'm being real positive.
-I'm just trying to be--
-That's bizarre behav…
-What are you trying--
-I'm trying to be helpful
and do a good job.
[softly] Oh, I'm sorry. I misread that.
-Sorry, I--
-No, I'm sorry. I didn't, um…
Thank you.
-Too much?
-May… I…
-Maybe just, like…
-I'm overcompensating. Yeah.
-Five to 15% less.
-Yeah, okay. Yeah.
[knife chopping]
The intention was really nice.
Good. Thank you, Chef.
[speaks Spanish]
Okay? [speaks Spanish]
Heard, Chef.
[knife chopping on board]
All right, listen up, guys.
App is still debugging,
'cause, obviously, that's what it does.
I don't know.
I, for one, am looking forward
to my future existence as a human battery.
-[exaggerated laughs]
-Anyways, uh…
Last night, we're at 64%.
Uh, I know that why?
Because I wrote it down. Why?
Because I'm an actual human being.
-[thunder rumbles]
-And that's what, like… [stutters]
…a little more than
one and a half turns, uh…
-So that's--
-[Jessica] It's one half of each turn.
-Well, it's over a half.
-[Sugar] No, it's 83 minus a half--
-Forty-one, point… 41.5.
-Stop. I'm doing math.
-41.5 plus--
-Stop saying 41.5.
-You can't have half.
-That's half of 83.
I know that's half of 83,
but you can't have half of a person.
Do you see what's happened?
You've infected us.
-I'm contagious.
-No, no, no, this ain't shit. We got this.
-[Cicero] What ain't shit?
-Covers tonight.
Yeah, well, I feel like I'm watching
somebody make a giant soup sandwich.
-That's what I feel.
-That's not helpful.
[stutters]
I know that we can operate tonight.
Yeah, just no dish pit.
You're not even washing dishes?
That's fucking gross.
-No, we…
-Uh… Okay.
I'm trying to help you out here.
You know what, actually?
Why don't you suck my dick?
-We are doing the best we can.
-Nicholas, suck my dick.
-On the 8:15 a.m.…
-Fucking gofer…
You cocked it up,
you're gonna cock it out!
You're about to get fucking power-washed!
-[screaming]
-[Carmy] Guys!
-Fucking deal with it.
-Show some respect.
-Why didn't you call me?
-I should have called you.
-Richie, Richie.
-Fuck!
[screaming]
-Fuck you. Fuck you.
-Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you.
-[Richie] Are you gonna…
-Stop!
-Maybe I fucking will.
-Yeah?
-Stop fucking…
-[Sydney] Richie.
[Sydney] Stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
-Guys, stop!
-Suck a dick.
-[screaming continues]
-We're going to have a dish pit operating
in the locker room…
-…as a backup.
-[screaming stops]
If the plumbing isn't able
to be sorted out in time,
we'll have that dish pit.
Otherwise, Ebra is also setting aside
clean plates and cutlery
that no one will touch, that will be able
to be used in service.
And I am shrinking portion sizes
per Natalie's request.
[Carmy] There you go.
[Cicero] Well, sometimes
when the world is telling you to go away,
you gotta listen.
I don't listen to the world.
I listen to my crew.
I'm also gonna be doing my best tonight
to not speak over anybody
and to not curse.
If anybody feels
like they would like to join me,
they are welcome.
Until then, I'm going to find Ebra
and get a plate count.
Service is at 5:30.
[Neil] Ease.
All you gotta do is ease it up.
-I said ease.
-[Ted] I am easing.
You have to be very delicate with this.
Ease it up!
[metal clattering]
-I said ease, bro.
-I said ease.
You have two options left,
but you're probably not
gonna like either of them.
What's the first one?
-Don't say franchise!
-That's like your only option.
Cheese, you don't understand.
This place is a fucking jinxed.
The building is fucking jinxed.
-[Neil] You just opened a portal to hell.
-[Ted] What?
The lights are flickering.
The demons are coming.
You're gonna turn into a vampire.
You're gonna have to bite me
so we can live together forever.
We could be together forever
if you just bite me.
What the fuck are you talking about?
How the fuck are we supposed
to turn this off now?
-I don't know.
-What?
There's no idea inside my head.
I gotta get out.
What is option number two?
Build up, up, up, up.
How the fuck do I afford that,
you fucking idiot?
Not you.
You let somebody else
put a fucking condo or a hotel
or a goddamn casino above the place.
What the fuck are you talking about?
You sell the air rights.
We own the fucking air rights?
-We'll find out.
-Yeah, we'll find out.
[Richie] Oh, shit. App's back up.
App's back up. Don't trust machines.
Can you try to log in?
My hands are shaking.
-Why are your hands shaking?
-I just ripped three darts.
Motherfucking app's down again.
We're flying blind, guys,
but it's all good.
-All good here. Keep your heads down.
-[clapping]
Keep fucking drilling!
Five and a half hours till service, chefs.
[Jessica] Chef.
[knife chopping on board]
[tense music playing]
-[breathing shakily]
-[thunder rumbles]