Insecure (2016) s05e10 Episode Script

1
Nathan
Can we go inside and talk about this?
I don't really have nothin' to say.
Nathan
for real. Come inside.
Let's talk, please.
I was wrong.
This ain't good for me.
I, I mean, this shit
This shit tonight was embarrassing.
- I know, and
- And I, I, I've been
you know
ignoring this feelin' that I've had
all along, but
I gotta take a step back.
Like just This messy shit is just
toxic to me.
I
I'm good.
Okay.
Oh
you really did wanna be alone.
I'm glad you're here.
Hungry?
Not really.
Okay, um,
I can just put it in
the oven until you are.
Thanks.
I should, uh, probably,
get in the shower.
Hey, y'all are gonna get over this,
and laugh about it one day.
Are we?
'Cause I heard you cry a lot last night.
You're down bad.
I don't know where you go from here.
You was trippin'
about all these decisions and choices
just to end up here.
Ya hate to see it.
I just wanna fast forward
to the part of my life
when everything's okay.
Good luck, champ.
- You good?
- Uh-huh.
- You good?
- Mm-hm.
You not good.
Thank you.
So, uh, what's the dynamic like at work
- now that he made partner?
- Is it erotic?
In my head, it's erotic.
It's actually very professional.
They're pretty good at keepin'
everything separate
but I do see Molly havin'
to check him every now and then.
Check me?
How she gonna check me
when I'm always right?
I'm just happy another woman can call
the Jackson boys out on they mess.
Well, my baby don't play.
- She came out of the womb arguing.
- Oh.
I can't wait to finally meet her.
Where is she?
She's still gettin' ready.
She's not used to people celebratin'
her birthday. I had to convince her to
- let me throw this.
- Oh!
Tiff's comin' up!
I'll let her in!
- Welcome baaack!
- Ahhh!
- L.A. smells so good. And you do, too.
- Oh, thank you!
I spilled a candle on myself
while I was gettin' ready.
It hurt pretty badly.
My biiitch!
Yeah!
Everybody, this is Tiffany.
Hi, everybody.
Girl, so, how's Denver?
Ah, um, it's great. We're adjusting.
Hey, stay right there.
I got somebody I wanna show you.
- Since when is she
- It's a rebound from Daniel Kaluuya.
Don't you have to date Daniel Kaluuya
for it to be a rebound?
- Don't try to make it make sense.
- Mmm.
- So
- How are you? I'm Desmond.
Pleased to make your
acquaintance, Desmond.
(EXHALES) Look at
all my girls all boo'd up.
- Oh, sorry, Issa.
- No, it's okay. I'm fine.
It's fine.
So, Desmond, how did you two meet?
Uh
Where's Molly?
Missin' out. I'mma go check on her.
Girl,
what the fuck you doin' taking so long?
I'm runnin' out of small talk
and prosecco.
I'm sorry. I just keep
changing everything.
All your things are fine.
- These things, them things, let's go!
- Okay.
- Did I hear Tiffany?
- Yeah, she just got here.
We gotta go figure out how to see her,
and Lord knows I need a vacation.
L.A.'s startin' to feel so small to me.
I gotta get the fuck up outta here.
- Girl, are you still feelin'
- Like a mess?
Okay, well stop.
Iss, you gotta look at
how far you've come,
like for real.
Well, tonight, we focusin' on you
and havin' fun,
and nothin' else.
Let me just try this one on.
Does this look wrinkled to you?
Remember Deena used to wear
them wrinkly silk shirts?
Oh, Deena.
Aw, bitch, you're nervous?
The last time I met some guy's family,
shit went left.
I'm just tryin' to come correct.
Girl, they are already
obsessed with you.
They are ready to
love you, and they will.
And if they don't?
I'll make 'em hate me.
Set the bar real low.
- Oh yeah.
- Mm-hm.
Thank you so much for forcin'
me to celebrate myself.
- I'mma change one more time.
- C'mon.
ALL (SINGING): Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Molly
Happy birthday to you
Girl, she looks so happy.
You did a good job.
- How bad is it?
- It's a busted pipe, girl. It's bad.
(SIGHS) Shit. Crenshawn
gets back Tuesday?
- Yes.
- If any of these clothes are ruined,
we gonna have to have
a underwater showcase
'cause we can't afford this.
- This gonna have to be what it is.
- Mm-hm.
- Surprise!
- Ahh!
Aw, I hate y'all.
Aw, you guys, are you serious?
Ayooow! Happy birthday, boss!
How did you even?
- You and Molly worked together?
- She cool.
We got you, boo. Happy birthday, love.
Oh my god. Wait, so
there's no busted pipe?
I don't have to start a OnlyFans?
I mean, I would subscribe.
I do got a flat booty fetish.
Look,
I told everybody to donate to The BLOCC
instead of doin' birthday gifts,
and, girl, the donations are pourin' in.
- We already at $5,000.
- What?!
Five G's like the cell phone.
- Are you serious?
- Mm-hm.
That's incredible! Y'all are incredible.
Tonight, we only focusing on you,
havin' fun, and nothin' else.
- Look at you quotin' my quotes.
- Of course.
- One time for the birthday bitch!
- Hey!
Two time for the birthday me!
Happy birthday!
- Thank you for comin', Kelli.
- Of course.
Thank me, too.
Like, this is cute and all, bu.
I made it a function.
You made it a fun-ky.
'Cause you stank. Ha!
Are you proud of that?
- To Issa
- Thank you
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
Cheers, bro.
Ooh, what about him?
Oh, he helps at too many events.
What if it doesn't work out?
Or what if the sex is bad?
I gotta look him in the eye after that?
Girl, when I have bad sex with a nigga,
I glare at him and his dick.
I want them both to feel shame.
You're overthinkin' it, Iss.
This is birthday dick you deserve.
You know what? I do deserve.
Mm-hm.
Okay lookin' where they at,
where they at, where they at.
- Him.
- Ooh.
And he look pipe-y, too.
Got a little bowlegged action.
Ahh!
Okay, well,
you want us to go warm him up for you?
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I'm grown.
- Oh!
- I got this.
- Well, let's fuckin' go!
- Watch me work.
She woke up and chose confidence.
All right, girl,
you gonna have to wing her solo.
- The white man got me on a deadline.
- I done told you.
Okay, why are we beating a dead horse?
I told you I'd think about it.
All I'm sayin' is I
talked to the partners
about having an estate division,
and they are down for it.
- Okay, okay. I'll call you tomorrow.
- All right.
Hey, do one of y'all have a Shout wipe?
'Cause I accidentally spit
red wine on his shirt.
What? I'm rusty.
Um
- You came.
- Yeah, yeah.
I still get the, you know,
BLOCC's email chain, so
Oh, right.
It's just I, uh,
hadn't heard from you.
I know I got your messages.
I just, um
I forgot, uh,
this is from everybody at the shop.
I just We wanted to
donate 'cause you was
so helpful to us, so
- Tell 'em I said thank you.
- I will.
How have things been with you?
Good Things have been good, yeah.
This place is finally startin'
to feel like home.
Really?
That's
I'm really happy to hear that.
Yeah.
Look, last time we talked,
I know I said some things
No um
- You made some points.
- I was just hurt.
You know?
You know, I've always thought that
people come into your life for a reason,
and you have made up
so many good reasons for me,
and I hope that
that I did the same for you
'cause I don't want
I don't want you to regret anything.
I don't.
Anyway
I just I wanted to stop through.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
Yeah, it was good to see you.
It was good to see you, too,
Nanceford.
Oh, that's my friend right there.
- (WHISPERS): Birthday dick!
- Oh.
Hey, how you doin'?
How you doin'? Nice to meet you.
- What's your name?
- I'm Issa.
Good to meet you, too.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Say it with me
Dang, Tiff.
I was hatin' on Denver, but
- this is beautiful.
- Right?
Y'all are really whole-ass homeowners.
- Wow.
- That's what I keep tellin' myself.
I mean,
I still ain't rollin' with it, but
you know,
this is a lot of space for my god-baby.
Also, Denver do have that sticky-icky,
so I ain't mad at it.
(LAUGHS) Right? That's why they
call it the Mile-High City.
No, mm-mm.
You couldn't let me have that?
No, 'cause if I give you that one,
then I gotta give you the next one.
Can I get the fourth one?
I'll think about it.
What? What's goin' on, girl?
I'm just I'm so glad you guys came.
I fucking hate it here.
I mean, I don't know anybody,
I'm still not working.
I just didn't sign up to be
a Real Housewife of Denver.
Well, what about Derek's family?
Aren't they comin' around?
The novelty of Simone
wore off pretty quick.
Now it's more just like,
"Oh, we love her.
Come and get our grandbaby."
But what about that
preschool you all liked?
- Is it workin' out?
- It's fine.
Except for the fact that
she's the only black girl
in her class.
We'll figure it out.
You will. You definitely will.
Yeah, girl.
You know what?
Let me stop bein' a drag.
Spill the tea. What have I been missin'?
- Issa met somebody.
- Ooh.
Stop, it is not like that.
I got way too much goin' on.
Mm-mm. Show her the picture.
- Bring 'em out.
- Y'all so extra.
He got a good dick, and good job, too.
(GASPS) He's cute.
- Mm-hm.
- He cool.
He a giver, and I'm a
taker, so (LAUGHS).
Hi.
- That's my girl.
- Happy birthday, Mommy.
Aww.
Aight, save some
room for dessert, ladies.
Yes!
So dope y'all came out.
None of my L.A. niggas
have come visit me.
Men suck.
- You still at it?
- Yeah, girl.
You think Tiffany's feeling better?
I hope so.
I wanna tell her to give it time, but
that just feels like a
thing that people say.
Nah, I think that's right.
I'm really glad we all
made it out, though.
You know, I know we're all busy,
but we did it!
Yeah, I'm proud of us.
High-key, I think we all needed this.
Mm-hm.
You know what you need?
(ISSA SINGS) Some of this wine juice
Some of this wine juice
Some of this
Girl, I can't work with a buzz.
- Let me get you a glass.
- Thank you.
You know what I've always wondered?
What?
What would you have said to Lawrence
if Nathan hadn't interrupted?
I don't know.
- You really don't know?
- No, I don't.
It's too late anyway.
Girl, it's not too late if
that's what you really want.
Wh-What happened to
"You're doing it again.
You're being inconsistent."
Now you quoting my quotes?
Listen
comin' from someone
who used to overthink a lot
sometimes, it's not that hard.
Who callin' me? Oh, it's Curtis.
Tell him I say hey!
I won't.
Hey, bighead.
Wait, slow down, slow down, Curtis
What happened to Mom?
Curtis.
Curtis, no! No! Oh my god!
Sylvia (ON PHONE): Happy birthday
Okay, okay, okay, Ma.
Thank you. That's the end of the song.
Happy birthday, son. You get my gift?
I got your paperweight.
Great. You can never have
too many paperweights.
I'mma let you get back to your mother.
So, what did you do today?
Jah and I had lunch with Condola,
and she took him for the night.
She's such a good mom.
Dresses nice, one braid,
simple, clean, I like it.
Me too.
Hey, uh, Ma, let me let you go.
I'll call you tomorrow, all right?
Hello?
Oh, hey you answered?
Who answers on their birthday?
You called me, but
didn't want me to answer?
The plan, admittedly, had some holes.
Yeah.
You sound great
not that you shouldn't sound great.
You should sound how you sound.
Louis Armstrong is the only person who
shouldn't sound how they sound.
What a wonderful world.
That's pretty good.
I didn't even practice that.
Uh, yeah, so, um
with everything that's happened
I've been thinking a lot
about things
about you.
And, uh
I didn't wanna let too
much time pass before
Okay.
So, I guess I'm calling to see
if I could take you
out on your birthday.
I mean, if you're not busy.
I, uh
I, actually, do have plans tonight.
Of course, you do!
It's your birthday.
Why wouldn't you? Duh!
But, you know, maybe
we can go to dinner
Well, I'll let you get to it, and, uh,
happy birthday, again.
Hey
You've reached the voice mailbox for
Molly.
- Hey.
- Happy birthday, babe.
You ready?
Yeah.
- Oh my goodness!
- Happy birthday, Kelli!
- Thank you!
- I'm so sorry I'm late.
Oh, it's all good, girl.
- You look gorgeous.
- Thank you, girl.
You know I get better with age.
- Hopin' y'all keep up.
- Uh, me too.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, everybody.
Oh, and, everybody, this is Nasir.
- Nasir, this is everybody.
- Everyone, how you doin'?
- Y'all are right down there.
- Okay.
All right, since everybody is here,
we're gonna go get some party favors,
so y'all talk amongst yourselves.
So, Nasir, how did you two meet?
- Oh, on an app.
- A work event.
I, I had seen him on an app
And then, she saw me
at the Pyer Moss show.
You know, the Crenshawn collaboration?
And then,
I think she thought she knew me, so
I had thought I did. I did.
Um so how'd y'all meet again?
Everybody, my baby got an announcement.
First of all, I just
wanna thank everyone
for coming to celebrate
me for my birthday.
You all are some of the most
important people in my life
but we are gonna have another
very important person in our lives.
Y'all, I love this woman so much.
And just so y'all know, I would not,
under any circumstances,
do this with anybody else
Oh my god! Shut the fuck up!
Shut, shut the fuck up!
Wait, what?
Oh my god! She's pregnant! Oh my god!
Congratulations!
Oh my god!
You're gonna be the best mom ever.
- She's gonna be the best mom.
- Thank you.
Our kids are gonna grow up together.
They're gonna be doin' all types
(GASPS) They could get married.
- Simone could be the older woman.
- Yas!
Wait, Kelli, I thought
you didn't want kids.
I didn't
- but then, when I died
- You didn't die.
Let her have this.
When I died
I started askin' preguntas,
like, "Do I want kids?"
And then, I realized
I don't want just any nigga's kids.
I want this nigga's kids.
Aww, you guys are really beautiful.
This nigga got me out here doin' shit
I never thought I would do.
Including butt stuff.
Could've gone my whole
life without knowin' that.
My baby's having a baby.
I can't wait to show
you all the baby apps,
and we can go maternity shopping.
- Yes, yes!
- Oh my god.
To be honest, I'm
a little nervous, girl.
That's totally natural.
But I'mma be there.
We gonna do this together.
- You promise?
- Yes, girl!
I'm really feelin' this song.
Yeah it's dope.
Molly still hasn't texted me back yet.
She is never gonna believe this.
You've reached the voice mailbox for
Molly Carter.
Damn, tonight's crazy.
I got just the right thing to
take your mind off it.
Just gimme a few
minutes. I'm almost done.
It's so great that everyone we know is
actually makin' decisions,
and goin' after what they want.
And we on that path, too!
Yeah we are. It's great.
I'm so proud of us.
'Cause I didn't know last year, but
I can finally start
claiming you to my friends.
Okay.
Bitch, don't you fuckin' dare!
- He's callin' me!
- So what?!
You got a fine-ass man in
there ready to dick you down.
- Don't answer!
- Why not?!
Because it's never gonna work,
you dumb bitch!
Move on!
How do you know that?
Issa? You good in there?
Yeah, just
gettin' sexy.
Good, that's a good one.
(RAPS) Hey, real Issa
Ya 'bout to get some dick, uh
Okay, it's okay when you do it?
Hey.
- Happy birthday!
- Thank you, girl.
You know I wanted to
catch you before you left.
- You gettin' ready?
- Girl, no.
I'm still at the office finishing up,
but Taurean went home to get ready,
so you still have time to spill.
No, let that man surprise you!
Girl, you know my face can't hide
disappointment, but, okay, I'll try.
Just enjoy it.
Uh, but, how are you feelin', though?
I mean work's been
a good distraction.
But it's kinda been hittin' me all day.
Like, Iss, she was just celebrating
with me last year, you know?
But I'm okay.
You know it's okay
if you're not, though.
Right?
Girl, I miss her.
Like, I keep tryna
wrap my mind around the
fact that I'mma keep havin'
birthdays without her.
I know.
I wish I could hug you right now.
And, you know, I know
Taurean had dibs on
your birthday this year,
but I'm takin' you out to dinner
this week 'cause I miss you.
I miss you, too.
When did shit get so real?
Right?
I don't know. I feel like
our friendships just got
hard all of a sudden.
You know? Stuff just keeps happening
between work shit, and
family.
Girl, life.
You can make all the
plans you want, but
there's always gonna be some shit.
Yeah.
Bitch why're you still here?
Go home and change.
I told you I got this.
Listen to Kelli!
Now remember,
birthday sex only happens once a year,
so try that thing I told you about.
If you black out, you did it right.
If he black out, call for help.
Actually, stop listenin' to Kelli.
Yes.
Thank you for calling, girl.
Bye.
Bye-bye!
Hey.
Hey.
Uh, sorry, traffic was
- crazy from my office, so
- Oh, no, no, no.
Not at all. You're, you're fine.
Come in.
So
this is you?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Do you want the tour?
Yeah, for sure, yeah.
Okay, um
well, I'm thinkin' about
Obviously, it's not much yet,
but, uh, a conference room area here.
Um
Down the line,
I'm thinkin' about putting a kitchen
down the hallway.
I hope that's next to your office
'cause you stay hungry.
You know it.
But, honestly, the best view is from
Quoia's side of the office.
She scammed me out of a window.
You know, I may have oversold the tour.
Nah
This is cool as hell.
You went from "We Got Y'all"
- Please, don't.
- to "I Got Mine."
I know it's not done yet,
and there's still a
long way to go, but
I keep thinkin' about
all it took to get here
You know?
Doubted myself
goin' back and forth
about what I wanted.
Bein' scared to waste my time,
and look stupid in case
none of it worked out.
And then, I realized that
it was all in my head.
You know,
no one was doubting me except for me.
And Kelli.
And sometimes Ahmal, too.
But
I had to believe that
it would work out
for it to work.
So, do you
believe it'll work out?
I'm okay with findin' out.
Oh, shit. There was
still coffee in there?
- That's why I'm so tired.
- Mm-hm.
Finally, it's who
you've been waiting for.
I'm gonna need everyone
to clap a little louder.
That's right. And now, introducing
Mr. and Mrs. Taurean Jackson!
Go off, girl!
Ooh, girl, don't hurt him!
No, hurt him.
Woo! (CHUCKLES)
- I'mma get some more champagne.
- Oh! This is my shit. Come on!
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Here's your drink.
- Thank you.
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm fine. It's just
(SIGHS) There goes my girl.
Come on.
- Come on. Come on. Yeah!
- Okay.
Come on.
I know. Wait, okay.
One more row, and you should be good.
How you feelin'?
(SIGHS) Girl happy.
Like, really, really, really, happy.
I'm happy for you.
Like, for real.
You look gorgeous.
The baddest bitch there ever was.
- Was it me?
- That was all you, baby.
All right
- Mmm.
- Was my booty in your face?
It was. I liked it.
Thank you so much for everything, Issa.
Of course There is no way you
were gonna get out
that dress by yourself.
Nah, girl
for everything.
Just for being you.
Um and for loving me while I was me.
And, um
and, girl, I don't know
where life is gonna take us,
but I just know that
as long as you're around, I'mma be okay.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Me too.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Girl, I got to pee.
I have been holdin'
this shit in for like three hours.
Go! I'll step out, and I'll let
Taurean take it from here.
Taurean? Who the hell is that?
Oh, that's right. He my husband!
I love you, girl.
Love you, too.
Hey! Birthday girl is home.
- Issa!
- Hey!
How y'all doin'?
Uh, you know. How was traffic?
Uh, you know, the usual.
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
Hey, Jah!
Ooh, is this for me?
Yeah, he wanted to decorate.
That right there says "Issa."
Does it?
- It could.
- Thanks, Jah.
And we got 30 minutes
'til the sitter comes.
Should we eat a slice
before I take Issa out?
- Yeah!
- Yeah.
Mm, I love dessert before dinner.
- You wanna get some ice cream, Jah?
- Yes.
Let's go! Oh, you're ready.
Cookie dough.
Cookie dough?!
A man who knows what he wants.
He needs a scooper.
- All right. You wanna scoop it?
- Yes.
All right,
where's the knife to cut the cake?
- Oh, I, um
- Jah, you wanna cut the cake?
Hey, come on.
Lyft's almost here. You ready?
Uh, yep, almost.
- Hello?
- Happy birthday!
Thank you.
Bitch, I miss you so fuckin' much.
Bitch, me too!
Why are niggas so borin' to travel with?
This nigga won't leave my side.
Wait,
is that what I have to look forward to?
Oh no.
- Yep, watch out!
- How's Greece?
Honestly, girl, I ain't seen much of it
'cause we've been gettin' it in.
I think this nigga might've
really up and broke my pussy.
(LAUGHS) Oh, so, now you play with it.
That was funny.