Drop Dead Diva s06e13 Episode Script
It Had To Be You
See that aspiring model there? That's me, Deb, until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now, I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend, Stacy, and my guardian angel, Paul.
I used to think everything happened for a reason.
Whoo! Well, I sure hope I was right.
La, la-la, la-la-la-la Previously on "Drop Dead Diva" - I need 12 French tubes and - Grayson.
Charging the 360.
All clear.
Shock.
- Asystole.
- Check for pulse.
Calling it.
Time of death 5:17 P.
M.
If you're ready, I am happy to show you to your afterlife.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to the afterlife.
I'm not done with this life.
I found this in storage.
It was the last one.
It's still got the button.
Jane, it's me.
It's Grayson.
This isn't funny and I'm hanging up.
I hit "Return", and I'm back.
When I feel down have to remind myself I'm getting a second chance with this woman.
Only woman I've ever loved.
I need to tell you that Ian's using you.
I know you can't see clearly now because you're grieving for Grayson, but trust us he's not good for you.
And he's not good for the firm, either.
Owen, Kim I quit.
Oh, my God! What a surprise! I just heard about Grayson.
I am so sorry.
Oh, yes.
Um, that was awful.
I would have come sooner, but on my musical tour of prisons, I dropped my phone in the toilet at Leavenworth, and you don't reach in there for any reason.
So I couldn't check my email.
I am the worst friend.
No, really, it's okay.
I'm so happy to see you.
Jane, what's going on? Oh.
Um - Oh, my God.
- Yes.
There have been some changes since you've been gone.
- Oh, my God! - I know.
I know.
It seems strange to see another man in my bed so soon after Grayson's passing.
But let me just introduce you.
- This is - Ian Michael Holt.
I never thought I'd see you again.
Oh.
- Paul.
- Aah! I swear, I wasn't watching a video of Justin Bieber puking during a concert.
Okay.
We need to talk about Jane.
As you know, she quit the firm.
Any clients come looking for her, you send them straight to me, do you understand? Jane's clients straight to you.
Got it.
Excuse me.
I swear, I wasn't watching a video of Amanda Bynes being kicked out of a spin class.
Okay.
Um, can you help us? We're looking for Jane Bingum.
Oh.
Are you clients? Uh, yeah, that's right.
Jane's no longer at the firm, but this is her address.
I'll let her know you're on the way.
Thank you.
Am I interrupting? No, of course not.
Before you say anything, um, I know.
I'm a horrible person.
I really enjoyed our three dates, and I'm sorry I didn't return your last call.
But between work and Noah getting pinkeye, I just I realized that I'm not ready for anything serious.
But it's still no excuse not to call you back.
- I'm sorry.
- Apology accepted.
But that's not why I'm here.
I need your legal help.
Great.
I am way better at law than I am at dating.
Please, have a seat.
So, what's up? Well, you know I work for a temp agency.
Yes, you are a professional assistant.
I was just fired.
- Why? - I tweeted about joining an organization called "The Bigfooters.
" As in "Bigfoot"? Yes, and last weekend, we hiked the Sierra Madre.
We made Sasquatch calls, wood knocks, and used thermal imagers at night to try and spot a 'Squatch.
It was a blast.
You don't actually believe in Bigfoot, do you? Bigfoot may or may not be real, but I choose to live in a world where anything is possible.
Okay, uh Well, as an at will employee, the temp agency can fire you for just about anything.
But I'm not at will.
I have a contract.
Great.
Well, then, I will contact the agency and set up a meeting to see about getting your job back.
While it's true I left the firm, I am perfectly capable of handling your case, as long as you don't mind me working from home.
Our case is pro bono.
We're not in a position to be demanding.
Well, then, great.
So, let's get started.
I'm sorry.
Didn't realize we had company.
Oh, yes.
These are my new clients.
And this is I'm Jane's, uh paralegal.
Yes.
He is my paralegal.
Uh, Ian, would you like to join us? Of course.
It's what I do.
So, to bring my paralegal up to speed, uh, Deena and Adam, who just got engaged congratulations, by the way work for the Sea Defenders, a non-profit organization similar to Greenpeace, and Deena recently captained a small ship that stopped a Japanese whaling vessel from slaughtering an entire pod of pilot whales.
- That's awesome.
- Thank you.
The Okata Corporation, who owns the whaling fleet, is now suing the Sea Defenders because Deena used a prop fouler to cripple their ship.
They've demanded $10 million in damages from our organization.
I assume they're hoping a lawsuit will deter other activists from going after them.
Yeah, we've already seen two lawyers who said that since the Sea Defenders violated the law, they can't help us.
Well, I'm not like other lawyers.
We'll take your case.
Owen, we need to talk.
I know that look.
What's wrong? Well, we're getting married in three days, and I have done everything to make the day absolutely perfect, but the unimaginable has happened.
My maid of honor and my fiance are hating on each other.
I don't hate Jane at all.
I'm just I'm worried about her.
You pushed her out of the firm.
Jane quit when Kim and I expressed concern about Ian.
Sweetheart, Grayson's body was still warm, and she shacked up with an ex-con.
An ex-con who turned out to be innocent.
Look, I know it's strange, but I respect Jane's decisions, and I wish you could, too.
I'm sorry, but For me, would you just consider letting it go? - Stacy - I'm just asking you to think about it, okay? Hey, Teri.
It's me again.
Um, I'd really like to talk to you.
Can you please call me back? Thanks.
How many messages have you left? At least three.
Why in the world would she slap you? As Ian, I must have done something really awful to her.
Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
In the meantime, thank you for sitting in as my paralegal.
Well, I figured I'd make myself useful.
Besides, saving the whales is literally the reason why I became a lawyer.
I know.
Oh.
- Hello? - Is it Teri? Really? That's what he said? Okay.
Great.
Yeah.
Tell him I am on my way.
That was Paul.
He said that Owen wants to see me as soon as possible.
What do you think he wants? Oh, I know exactly what he wants.
He wants to apologize for making me choose between you and the firm.
Then he's going to beg me to come back.
Hello, Owen.
Jane.
I hear the Sea Defenders have retained you as Counsel.
That's right.
I'm not sure why that's relevant.
I no longer work for the firm, so I can represent anyone I want.
And you can date anyone you want.
It's no longer any of my business.
Well, it was none of your business in the first place.
Open your eyes.
That man is using you.
You are hurt, you are lonely - and he is taking advantage of your grief.
- Whoa.
You're about 10 feet over the line.
And just for the record, your apology is getting off to a very bad start.
My apology? That is why you called me here, isn't it? No.
The Okata Corporation found out that you're representing the Sea Defenders.
They just retained me to represent them against you.
- What? - As your former managing partner, they figured that I knew you better than anyone else professionally speaking.
I asked you here as a courtesy to let you know that I will see you in court.
Mr.
Nasami, you're the captain of the Akiko Maru, a Japanese whaling vessel, correct? Yes.
Can you tell me what's happening in this photo? The Sea Defenders have just attacked my vessel.
They trailed a line around the propellers.
What kind of damage did that cause? The boat was disabled.
We had to be towed to shore.
Thank you.
Your witness.
Mr.
Nasami, isn't it true that your vessel is no more than a mobile slaughterhouse, brutally killing one of the world's most beautiful and intelligent creatures? Objection.
My client is compliant with international law, allowing his vessel to capture and sell the meat of 1,000 pilot whales per year.
Sustained.
Isn't it true that whales are emotional creatures with a social cohesion unmatched in other mammals, including humans? - Objection.
- Sustained again.
Ms.
Bingum, in my courtroom, you won't prevail on emotion.
Your honor, the law that Mr.
French referenced only permits the capture and sale of whales for research purposes.
And everyone knows that Okata sells their whales for meat and bones, not research.
My client isn't on trial here.
If the defendants would like to lodge a complaint, they are welcome to take it up with the Japanese government.
I agree.
We'll take a recess, and when we return, if Ms.
Bingum doesn't have a legal defense, I will issue a directed verdict.
Can I get an iced latte? And make it a double.
Thanks.
Well, you should be ashamed of yourself.
How can you represent a client like Okata? The Sea Defenders broke the law.
Wow.
It's it's like I don't even know you.
Right now, I could say the same thing about you.
Look, Jane.
I don't support whaling.
It's cruel and inhumane.
But I do believe in the judicial process.
Everything okay here? Yes, Ian, everything is just peachy.
Um, how about I meet you in the car? Okay.
What was he doing in the courtroom? Um, after years of prepping appeals in the prison library, Ian has developed a very shrewd legal mind, and I am happy to get the help wherever I can.
You got to be kidding.
Stop judging Ian.
I'm not judging Ian.
I'm judging you.
Jane, I think you need help mental help.
If you need to talk to someone, I can recommend a grief therapist.
If you want to come back to the firm and go on paid leave, I will support you 100%.
But I will not pretend that I think you're doing okay when obviously you're not despite Stacy's wishes.
Wait.
"Stacy's wishes"? She wants me to pretend that I think everything is okay.
But as your friend, I can't do that.
Jane, imagine if Grayson could see you now.
Owen, I know how hard it must be for you to understand that I could find someone so soon after Grayson's death, and I really appreciate your concern, but this doesn't have to make sense to you.
This is my life, and I'm gonna live it the way I want.
My client has a contract.
He can't just be dismissed.
It's my client's position that Mr.
Burton violated the professionalism clause of his contract, which is why he was terminated.
I tweeted about Bigfoot.
How does that make me unprofessional? It's not just your tweet.
You discussed your interest in Bigfoot during multiple assignments.
We cannot recommend someone who would be seen as a kook.
Oh, that's just insulting.
Per the employment contract of Redtail Temporary Services, "Employees will maintain the highest levels of professionalism.
"Any failure to do so will subject them to immediate termination.
" Look, if Dave promises not to discuss Bigfoot in the future, would you give him another shot? I'm sorry, but the owner was very clear.
Okay, well, then you can tell the owner that we'll see him in court.
Thank you for finally returning my call.
What's going on? Ian's not here, is he? No.
It's just me.
'Cause if I'd known you were together, I would not have come back.
Are you really shacking up with him? Okay, listen.
I know this sounds really crazy, but I'm not trying to judge you.
I'm not like that.
I don't care if your turn-ons are chocolate or vanilla or rocky road, but I do not like that man.
- Why? - I don't want to discuss it.
Teri, come on.
I've never said no to you, but I am now.
And if you ask me again, I'm gonna leave, and I'm taking that cranberry scone with me, because it looks delicious.
Fine.
I won't ask you about Ian.
Thank you.
Hey, I'm so glad you're home.
I need your help with my seating chart.
Oh, well, keep your Cousin Bob at the old people's table.
Seriously, he drinks too much, and then he gets handsy with anyone under 70.
Oh, I invited Teri you know, 'cause your Cousin Dora can't make it, so I thought Teri could replace her at the slutty singles table.
Well, actually, I was concerned with table number one.
- That's your table.
- I know.
And I always imagined my groom on one side of me and you on the other.
And that puts me and Ian at the same table as Owen.
And although you and I know the truth, - Owen doesn't trust Ian, and - I know.
He thinks I need mental help.
Okay.
You know what, Stace? Ian and I will just sit at a different table.
But I don't want you at another table.
But I don't want conflict at the wedding.
Owen and I can't even be in the same room right now without attacking each other.
What am I going to do? This is your day and Owen's, and I love you So it's killing me to say that maybe I shouldn't go to your wedding.
I won't sugarcoat it.
I wish court had gone better and that the judge was more sympathetic to our cause.
A $10 million verdict will destroy the Sea Defenders.
We'd have to sell off our boats and all of our other assets.
And if that happens, Japanese whaling will continue unabated.
Which is clearly Okata's goal.
Deena, were you completely in charge of your boat when you attacked the whaling ship? Yeah.
Why? I may have an idea.
The Sea Defenders are not the only responsible party in this case.
Deena Jasper, who captained the Sea Defenders' boat, is also responsible as an individual.
You want to interplead an individual into a lawsuit against an organization? Yes.
Deena was never technically employed by the Sea Defenders.
She didn't draw a salary.
She received no benefits whatsoever.
If you interplead Deena, you'd be putting her personal assets at risk.
I understand.
I would also like to continue to represent the Sea Defenders.
That's insane.
Maybe so, but I can't see a legal reason to reject the request.
We will resume this afternoon.
Dr.
Panaro, please share your credentials with the court.
I'm a doctor of cryptozoology.
My field investigates animals whose existence has not yet been proven.
And do you believe that Bigfoot, AKA Sasquatches, are real? Objection, relevance.
Your honor, Redtail Temps fired my client because they claim he's a kook for believing in Bigfoot.
If Bigfoot is, in fact, real, then clearly, my client is not a kook.
I'll allow it.
It is my belief that Sasquatches are present in North America, living in densely forested areas with high protein sources.
Most likely, they are descendants of the Gigantopithecus, a large prehistoric primate that existed in the Miocene and Pliocene periods.
I'd like to show a short video to the court.
Dr.
Panaro, what were those sounds? My hypothesis is we were listening to the vocalization of a young Sasquatch.
I captured that footage on a recent outing.
Your honor, this is ridiculous.
I agree.
Ms.
Kaswell, you're testing my patience.
I'm trying to prove that my client's interest in Bigfoot isn't that crazy and certainly doesn't warrant termination.
Fine, but wrap it up.
Dr.
Panaro, what percentage of the American population believes in Bigfoot? According to a recent university poll, 30%.
Thank you.
Your witness.
If 30% of all Americans believe in Bigfoot, what percentage finds the idea preposterous? That would be 70%.
More Americans believe in aliens and ghosts than believe in Bigfoot, correct? I believe that's correct.
So, as a doctor, you admit that the belief in Bigfoot is not mainstream.
Yes, but it doesn't necessarily mean Thank you.
No further questions.
Om.
Om.
Om.
- Stacy? - Hi, Paul.
What you doing? Asking my inner voice for guidance.
What does that mean? Well, I read an article that says if you're completely at a loss on what to do about a problem, you should close your eyes, meditate, ask your inner voice, and the answer will come to you.
Any luck? The only sound I hear is my stomach turning from eating a cheesesteak.
Ugh, I swear, one of the twins is a judgmental vegan.
Well, hey, maybe I can help you.
I can be your inner voice.
Here is my problem.
Jane and Owen are barely speaking.
Jane might not come to the wedding.
How do I get the two to get along? You should throw a party.
- What? - Everyone loves parties.
You just get Jane and Owen to loosen up and remember how much they like and respect each other.
- Wow, Paul, that's Sure.
- Brilliant idea? But the trick is to keep the party casual.
If Jane and Owen know what we're really up to, they won't show up.
I'll get the wine, cheese, and toilet paper.
Why toilet paper? Because I live with two women, and we are constantly running out.
See ya.
Ms.
Jasper, do you recognize that document? Yes.
It's my contract with the Sea Defenders.
Would you please read paragraph 6C, concerning your restrictions as a Sea Defender representative? "Sea Defender personnel are specifically barred "from engaging in, encouraging, or sanctioning "any illegal behavior whatsoever.
" That means that you led an unauthorized, illegal attack against Okata's ship? Yes.
I acted entirely outside the scope of my authority.
Your honor, given that my client acted outside of her authority, I'm asking that we dismiss the case against the Sea Defenders, as Deena Jasper is 100% responsible for the attack.
Objection.
Now I see what's going on.
Ms.
Bingum only interpleaded her client as a ploy to substitute one defendant for another.
Regardless of the reasons, Ms.
Jasper just took full responsibility for the attack.
- Given her admission - Hold on.
Paragraph 6C is just boilerplate mumbo jumbo meant to relieve the Sea Defenders of legal culpability.
Well, mumbo jumbo or not, the paragraph is clear.
- Your honor? - I recognize the validity of the mumbo jumbo.
And therefore, I'm issuing a verdict right now against Ms.
Jasper.
Okay, then we are demanding the full satisfaction of the $10 million judgment from Ms.
Jasper.
Oh, that's no problem.
We're ready to pay.
One second.
Thank you.
The contents of this box represent all of Deena's assets a clock radio, an old phone, a watch, and $87 in cash.
Oh, and here is Deena's bankruptcy petition, so good luck collecting on the rest of that $10 million.
Okata did not see that coming.
Jane, you were amazing.
- Oh.
- It was like you set a trap and just led 'em right to it.
Well, Ian deserves all the credit.
- Interpleading was his idea.
- Just happy to help.
- To the Sea Defenders.
- Oh.
Excuse me.
Looking for Deena Jasper.
Uh, Ms.
Jasper is my client.
What is this about? I have a warrant for her arrest.
This has to be a mistake.
The Japanese government is demanding your immediate extradition to face criminal charges in Tokyo.
- What? - Ma'am, you need to come with us.
No, you can't take her away.
Jane.
What do we do? Deena, don't say anything to anyone.
Stacy, why exactly are we having a cocktail party again? Planning the wedding has been stressful, so I thought it might be fun to have a casual get together.
Hey, how do you like your drink? Uh, it's fine.
Thanks.
The secret ingredient is acceptance, which is what you should give Jane when you see her.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
Is that what this is about? You wanted to get me and Jane together? Stacy, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I got to go now.
What are you doing here? We're having a pre-wedding cocktail party.
Paul, get her a drink.
You know, I thought your clients were monsters.
Turns out, the real monster is you.
You had Deena extradited for trying to save the whales? You shamed a massive Japanese corporation in open court.
What did you think was gonna happen? Hey, who wants to play a party game? I have prizes.
I heard you're still working.
Brought pizza.
Thank you.
That's sweet.
Least I could do.
It's, uh, kind of my fault you have to be at the office so late.
I'm actually glad you're here.
Do you know if any of your co-workers ever complained to management about your interest in Bigfoot? No.
In fact, most people seemed fascinated.
Good.
That's helpful.
You know, I really did like you a lot.
I guess the timing wasn't right.
I should have called you back.
It's water under the bridge.
Or is it "Water off a duck's back"? - I'm never quite sure.
- I don't know.
You're unlike any guy I've ever met.
Thank you, I think.
Oh, whoa.
I'm sorry.
I think that, uh, I gave you the wrong impression.
No, no, I'm sorry.
Um, that was totally unprofessional.
Uh, please forgive me.
Um, I I should probably go.
I you've got work to do and pizza to eat.
Yep, I'm super busy and hungry.
- All right.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Excuse me, Teri.
Oh, no.
What are you doing? How did you find me here? You're on tinder.
Look, I just want to talk.
May I sit down, please? Go ahead.
It's a free country.
Knock yourself out.
But I will be moving tables.
Please.
Just give me a minute.
Okay.
I'm timing you.
Okay.
I know I must owe you a huge apology.
Well, you can say that again.
What I did was unforgivable.
You don't say.
I'm lucky you're even talking to me right now.
I totally get it.
Ian, you really hurt me.
I mean, we were best friends all through high school.
We rehearsed that "Star Search" audition, what, for almost a year? I was gonna be famous.
And then you showed up too drunk to play piano, and you messed up my whole act! I am a horrible person.
Yes.
You are.
If you hadn't have screwed up, I could have had Beyonce's career.
Teri, I am so sorry.
But for what it's worth, I'm a completely different person today.
Can you ever forgive me? Your honor, as you can see, I have filed a petition challenging my client's extradition to Japan.
She has not committed a criminal act, and we need you to act forthwith.
I'd like to direct your attention to the trial transcript from the civil case.
Question from Ms.
Bingum, "You led an unauthorized, illegal attack on Okata's ship? Response from Ms.
Jasper.
"Yes.
"I acted entirely outside the scope of my authority.
" Under oath, your client admitted to committing the crime.
Your honor, if you send my client to Japan, you will effectively sentence her to prison.
She won't get a fair trial, and the Japanese will demand their pound of flesh.
Several Japanese sailors were injured in the attack, which provides the Japanese government further grounds for quick extradition.
The real issue here is a powerful company is ticked off because they were stopped from killing a pod of whales.
Enough.
I'm rejecting the petition.
- Ms.
Jasper will be released - Wait.
Please.
Your honor, I am the one who encouraged my client to accept the blame for the attack.
Hence, I would like to now argue that my client is a victim of ineffective assistance of counsel.
Come on! Jane Bingum is a brilliant lawyer.
We all know that Mr.
French is right.
And while I appreciate your zeal, your client will be sent to Japan first thing tomorrow.
Please take Ms.
Jasper back into custody.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Please.
- Ma'am, step up, please.
- Please! - Jane? Jane? - You can't let this happen.
Deena! - Jane! - Deena! You remember that day? Yeah.
How could I forget? We were at Balboa Park, and you taught me how to roller skate.
You know, I was only pretending to fall so you would catch me.
I had a feeling.
You were up early.
I didn't sleep at all, actually.
I mean, it's Stacy's wedding day, and I don't even know if I'm attending.
And, not to mention, our client's flight just took off for Japan.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
- I have some good news.
- Hmm? Teri and I have officially reconciled.
- Really? - Mmm-hmm.
I tracked her down and kept her talking until she told me what happened.
Mmm-hmm.
Apparently, I am a master pianist.
Teri and I went to high school together, and I showed up drunk the day of her "Star Search" audition.
And let me guess she blames you for destroying her chances of becoming the Korean Lady Gaga.
Actually, uh, Beyonce.
I said I was sorry.
And she accepted my apology after I paid for her breakfast.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Three wedding gifts were on the porch, - and this envelope for you.
- For me? Yeah.
It was taped to the door.
Oh, my God.
I got to get dressed.
I'm gonna go see the judge.
What do you want, Ms.
Bingum? Just a moment of your time.
- Talk fast.
- Okay.
Please, look at this invoice.
It's for 5,000 tons of whale meat sold by Okata in 2013.
Okata has the right to sell the meat.
Why is this relevant? The average whale weighs one ton.
The annual legal limit for slaughtering whales is 1,000.
But if they sold 5,000 tons of whale meat, that likely means they killed approximately 5,000 whales.
They exceeded the maximum kill five times over.
It seems Okata violated the law.
- Right.
- But, nevertheless, your client still sabotaged Okata's vessel.
It doesn't change the facts of the case.
Actually, it does.
The U.
S.
Japanese extradition treaty forbids the extradition of Americans charged with political acts.
And if Okata violated international law, then Deena's protest would constitute a political act.
You're absolutely right.
Where did you get this invoice? I am a really good lawyer.
Okay, when the plane lands in Japan, I'll have the state department reach out to No, your honor.
That will be too late.
The Japanese government will never send her back.
What do you want me to do? I have an F.
A.
A.
representative on standby.
One word from you, and that plane gets turned around.
I better make that call.
Um, good morning.
Is it morning already? You're wearing sweats, which means you were working all night.
- Yeah.
- Is this about your wrongful termination case? Owen, I tried to kiss a client.
Oh.
I want to blame it on my post-pregnancy hormones, - but that's not it.
- Okay.
Something is wrong with me.
There's nothing wrong with you.
You're attracted to a client.
It happens.
A few months ago, he was interested in me, so we went on a few dates, but I totally blew him off.
And now, in the middle of this case, I try to attack him with my lips.
It's not normal.
Ah.
That might be your problem.
- You lost me.
- Kim, we're lawyers.
Everything in our professional life is based on rules and and rationale.
We structure our arguments to be legally sound and empirically bulletproof.
But you can't do that with your personal life.
That's not normal.
But I want to.
It's so much easier.
Yes.
It's easier.
It's also boring.
When you surprise yourself, I say celebrate the moment.
Don't punish yourself for it.
Owen French, Managing Partner, is telling me to celebrate the fact that I tried to kiss a client? No.
Your friend is telling you not to beat yourself up for it.
The Managing Partner is telling you to go home, take a shower, and get your butt to court.
Good morning, Mr.
Burton.
We're formal now.
I'm sorry.
It's just I'm just trying to be professional.
Kim, relax.
Are we okay? Yeah, of course we're okay.
Ms.
Kaswell.
Whenever you're ready.
Um your honor, the defendant would like you to believe that this case is about professional etiquette.
But the truth is, it's really about so much more than that.
It's about the way we choose to live our lives.
It's about limitations and possibilities.
Now, do I personally believe in Sasquatch? No, I don't.
But as a metaphor, absolutely.
See, as a lawyer, my life is empirical and logical.
But the truth is I'd rather live in my client's world, where endless possibilities still exist and where the imagination is celebrated.
Thank you.
Ms.
Kaswell, that was a very thoughtful speech, but the law's not on your side.
I'm ruling in favor of Redtail Temporary Services.
The dismissal is upheld.
I'm really sorry.
Did you mean everything you said? Believe it or not, I did.
Why are you still here? Aren't you getting married this evening? Yeah, I'm just finishing up some paperwork.
Listen, I know you taped the invoice to my door.
I don't know what you mean.
Owen, you are the only one who would have access to a document like that.
Actually, you should have had access to it, as well.
I mean, it belonged in discovery.
As an officer of the court, I was obligated to hand it over.
I believe in the judicial process.
Did you get to the judge in time? Yes, Deena lands at L.
A.
X.
in an hour, and Adam's on his way to meet her.
That's great.
Thank you.
You know I'm picking up Stacy and my tux at your place.
Would you care to join me? We could all head over to the wedding together.
Are you sure? It it would mean a lot to Stacy.
And me.
- Shall we? - Yes.
I just need an hour to get ready, and then we can go.
- An hour? - All right, an hour and a half.
Wow.
Stacy.
You are stunning! But wait Owen's not supposed to see this.
Oh.
Oh! Does this mean that you two are talking again? Yeah, we're we're good.
Thank God! Okay, group hug.
Yes! Oh.
Did someone just spill something? - I felt it, too.
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, Stacy.
- Oh.
I think your water just broke.
Nope.
I am not due for another month.
Twins.
Twins.
We knew this could happen.
- I'll get the baby bag.
- Hold on! There are 200 guests about to show up at the Four Seasons, all right? I will just hold the babies in - Mmm.
- until after the appetizers.
I am not missing those truffle stuffed mushrooms.
I know they're good, but no.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
What? Ah, aah! Contraction! I got the baby bag! Okay.
Okay.
Sweetheart, I love you.
I love you so much.
Forget about the mushrooms.
We're gonna get you to the hospital, okay? Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Good.
- Aah! - Aah! Do we have babies yet? No, not yet, but Owen's last text said that they should be here any minute.
How's Stacy doing? You know, she still thinks she can pop out the twins, take a shower, and make it to her own wedding.
- Excuse me.
- Hi, Teri.
I stopped by the Four Seasons, and the caterer gave me a box of stuffed mushrooms and his phone number.
Anybody hungry? I really missed you.
I missed you, too.
Although there was an inmate at Chowchilla who had your same haircut and smooth skin.
I nicknamed her Paula, and we became very close.
Jane, can I talk to you for a second? Sure.
I know that I said I wanted to take a month off, but, um, I need to extend my leave of absence.
Is this about Ian? Because he told me the two of you made up.
It's about me and my music career.
I'm having the time of my life.
Yes.
Sorry.
Please, go.
Take as much time as you need.
Thanks.
And for what it's worth, I'm so happy that you are happy.
- Thank you.
- I hate to say it, but Ian turned out to be a really good guy.
Mmm-hmm.
Truth be told, he really reminds me of Grayson.
Yeah.
Yeah, me, too.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just gonna miss you.
You know, you're my rock.
I love you, Teri.
Oh, God.
Paul, what are you doing? They're called "Pushups.
" Yeah, I know they're called pushups.
- I mean - Everybody! I'm a dad.
Stacy's doing great.
The twins are are healthy and just beautiful.
Um, obviously, we need to postpone the wedding, but Cheetos and Coke from the vending machine, on me! Oh, so generous! Congratulations.
Thank you.
So, uh, the doctor had to give Stacy some painkillers, so no visitors till tomorrow.
She's a little loopy.
She keeps calling me "Big Bird.
" Where's Jane? Hey, sweetie.
- Hi! - Hi.
We had to postpone the wedding.
I know.
But I have a box of stuffed mushrooms for you when you're feeling better.
You are the best! Listen, there's 50 pounds of shrimp in a cooler at the hotel.
You should pick some up.
Bring it to the office.
I know that Kim loves shrimp.
Okay.
Okay.
Sure.
Sure.
Whatever it is you want.
- Hey, listen to this.
- What? I got the best wedding present ever two perfect little babies.
Oh.
Yes, you did.
You did.
Your face looks a little blurry, so I'm just gonna close my eyes so I can see you better.
I think you should close your eyes.
- Hey, Jane? - Yes? I don't know what I would do without you.
Well, good thing I'm not going anywhere.
And, just for the record, if we have kids, I think you'll be an amazing father.
What do you mean, "If we have kids"? We're gonna have kids.
Two boys, two girls, and a dog named Violet.
Whoa.
Why is there a piano in our living room? Because Teri told me that you can play, and I would like to see that for myself.
You bought this for me? I bought it for both of us.
I wonder how long it's been since I played.
They say it's like riding a bike, right? Oh, my God.
You're really good.
Are you kidding? I'm freaking great.
It had to be you It had to be you Wow, I can sing! I never had a voice before.
Oh, you can say that again.
I've wandered around And finally found Somebody who Could make me be true Could make me be blue Or even be glad Just to be sad Thinking of you Some others I've seen They might never be mean They might never be cross Or try to be boss But they wouldn't do 'Cause nobody else Gave me a thrill With all your faults, I love you still It had to be you Wonderful you It had to be you It had to be you Wonderful you It had to be you
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now, I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend, Stacy, and my guardian angel, Paul.
I used to think everything happened for a reason.
Whoo! Well, I sure hope I was right.
La, la-la, la-la-la-la Previously on "Drop Dead Diva" - I need 12 French tubes and - Grayson.
Charging the 360.
All clear.
Shock.
- Asystole.
- Check for pulse.
Calling it.
Time of death 5:17 P.
M.
If you're ready, I am happy to show you to your afterlife.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to the afterlife.
I'm not done with this life.
I found this in storage.
It was the last one.
It's still got the button.
Jane, it's me.
It's Grayson.
This isn't funny and I'm hanging up.
I hit "Return", and I'm back.
When I feel down have to remind myself I'm getting a second chance with this woman.
Only woman I've ever loved.
I need to tell you that Ian's using you.
I know you can't see clearly now because you're grieving for Grayson, but trust us he's not good for you.
And he's not good for the firm, either.
Owen, Kim I quit.
Oh, my God! What a surprise! I just heard about Grayson.
I am so sorry.
Oh, yes.
Um, that was awful.
I would have come sooner, but on my musical tour of prisons, I dropped my phone in the toilet at Leavenworth, and you don't reach in there for any reason.
So I couldn't check my email.
I am the worst friend.
No, really, it's okay.
I'm so happy to see you.
Jane, what's going on? Oh.
Um - Oh, my God.
- Yes.
There have been some changes since you've been gone.
- Oh, my God! - I know.
I know.
It seems strange to see another man in my bed so soon after Grayson's passing.
But let me just introduce you.
- This is - Ian Michael Holt.
I never thought I'd see you again.
Oh.
- Paul.
- Aah! I swear, I wasn't watching a video of Justin Bieber puking during a concert.
Okay.
We need to talk about Jane.
As you know, she quit the firm.
Any clients come looking for her, you send them straight to me, do you understand? Jane's clients straight to you.
Got it.
Excuse me.
I swear, I wasn't watching a video of Amanda Bynes being kicked out of a spin class.
Okay.
Um, can you help us? We're looking for Jane Bingum.
Oh.
Are you clients? Uh, yeah, that's right.
Jane's no longer at the firm, but this is her address.
I'll let her know you're on the way.
Thank you.
Am I interrupting? No, of course not.
Before you say anything, um, I know.
I'm a horrible person.
I really enjoyed our three dates, and I'm sorry I didn't return your last call.
But between work and Noah getting pinkeye, I just I realized that I'm not ready for anything serious.
But it's still no excuse not to call you back.
- I'm sorry.
- Apology accepted.
But that's not why I'm here.
I need your legal help.
Great.
I am way better at law than I am at dating.
Please, have a seat.
So, what's up? Well, you know I work for a temp agency.
Yes, you are a professional assistant.
I was just fired.
- Why? - I tweeted about joining an organization called "The Bigfooters.
" As in "Bigfoot"? Yes, and last weekend, we hiked the Sierra Madre.
We made Sasquatch calls, wood knocks, and used thermal imagers at night to try and spot a 'Squatch.
It was a blast.
You don't actually believe in Bigfoot, do you? Bigfoot may or may not be real, but I choose to live in a world where anything is possible.
Okay, uh Well, as an at will employee, the temp agency can fire you for just about anything.
But I'm not at will.
I have a contract.
Great.
Well, then, I will contact the agency and set up a meeting to see about getting your job back.
While it's true I left the firm, I am perfectly capable of handling your case, as long as you don't mind me working from home.
Our case is pro bono.
We're not in a position to be demanding.
Well, then, great.
So, let's get started.
I'm sorry.
Didn't realize we had company.
Oh, yes.
These are my new clients.
And this is I'm Jane's, uh paralegal.
Yes.
He is my paralegal.
Uh, Ian, would you like to join us? Of course.
It's what I do.
So, to bring my paralegal up to speed, uh, Deena and Adam, who just got engaged congratulations, by the way work for the Sea Defenders, a non-profit organization similar to Greenpeace, and Deena recently captained a small ship that stopped a Japanese whaling vessel from slaughtering an entire pod of pilot whales.
- That's awesome.
- Thank you.
The Okata Corporation, who owns the whaling fleet, is now suing the Sea Defenders because Deena used a prop fouler to cripple their ship.
They've demanded $10 million in damages from our organization.
I assume they're hoping a lawsuit will deter other activists from going after them.
Yeah, we've already seen two lawyers who said that since the Sea Defenders violated the law, they can't help us.
Well, I'm not like other lawyers.
We'll take your case.
Owen, we need to talk.
I know that look.
What's wrong? Well, we're getting married in three days, and I have done everything to make the day absolutely perfect, but the unimaginable has happened.
My maid of honor and my fiance are hating on each other.
I don't hate Jane at all.
I'm just I'm worried about her.
You pushed her out of the firm.
Jane quit when Kim and I expressed concern about Ian.
Sweetheart, Grayson's body was still warm, and she shacked up with an ex-con.
An ex-con who turned out to be innocent.
Look, I know it's strange, but I respect Jane's decisions, and I wish you could, too.
I'm sorry, but For me, would you just consider letting it go? - Stacy - I'm just asking you to think about it, okay? Hey, Teri.
It's me again.
Um, I'd really like to talk to you.
Can you please call me back? Thanks.
How many messages have you left? At least three.
Why in the world would she slap you? As Ian, I must have done something really awful to her.
Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
In the meantime, thank you for sitting in as my paralegal.
Well, I figured I'd make myself useful.
Besides, saving the whales is literally the reason why I became a lawyer.
I know.
Oh.
- Hello? - Is it Teri? Really? That's what he said? Okay.
Great.
Yeah.
Tell him I am on my way.
That was Paul.
He said that Owen wants to see me as soon as possible.
What do you think he wants? Oh, I know exactly what he wants.
He wants to apologize for making me choose between you and the firm.
Then he's going to beg me to come back.
Hello, Owen.
Jane.
I hear the Sea Defenders have retained you as Counsel.
That's right.
I'm not sure why that's relevant.
I no longer work for the firm, so I can represent anyone I want.
And you can date anyone you want.
It's no longer any of my business.
Well, it was none of your business in the first place.
Open your eyes.
That man is using you.
You are hurt, you are lonely - and he is taking advantage of your grief.
- Whoa.
You're about 10 feet over the line.
And just for the record, your apology is getting off to a very bad start.
My apology? That is why you called me here, isn't it? No.
The Okata Corporation found out that you're representing the Sea Defenders.
They just retained me to represent them against you.
- What? - As your former managing partner, they figured that I knew you better than anyone else professionally speaking.
I asked you here as a courtesy to let you know that I will see you in court.
Mr.
Nasami, you're the captain of the Akiko Maru, a Japanese whaling vessel, correct? Yes.
Can you tell me what's happening in this photo? The Sea Defenders have just attacked my vessel.
They trailed a line around the propellers.
What kind of damage did that cause? The boat was disabled.
We had to be towed to shore.
Thank you.
Your witness.
Mr.
Nasami, isn't it true that your vessel is no more than a mobile slaughterhouse, brutally killing one of the world's most beautiful and intelligent creatures? Objection.
My client is compliant with international law, allowing his vessel to capture and sell the meat of 1,000 pilot whales per year.
Sustained.
Isn't it true that whales are emotional creatures with a social cohesion unmatched in other mammals, including humans? - Objection.
- Sustained again.
Ms.
Bingum, in my courtroom, you won't prevail on emotion.
Your honor, the law that Mr.
French referenced only permits the capture and sale of whales for research purposes.
And everyone knows that Okata sells their whales for meat and bones, not research.
My client isn't on trial here.
If the defendants would like to lodge a complaint, they are welcome to take it up with the Japanese government.
I agree.
We'll take a recess, and when we return, if Ms.
Bingum doesn't have a legal defense, I will issue a directed verdict.
Can I get an iced latte? And make it a double.
Thanks.
Well, you should be ashamed of yourself.
How can you represent a client like Okata? The Sea Defenders broke the law.
Wow.
It's it's like I don't even know you.
Right now, I could say the same thing about you.
Look, Jane.
I don't support whaling.
It's cruel and inhumane.
But I do believe in the judicial process.
Everything okay here? Yes, Ian, everything is just peachy.
Um, how about I meet you in the car? Okay.
What was he doing in the courtroom? Um, after years of prepping appeals in the prison library, Ian has developed a very shrewd legal mind, and I am happy to get the help wherever I can.
You got to be kidding.
Stop judging Ian.
I'm not judging Ian.
I'm judging you.
Jane, I think you need help mental help.
If you need to talk to someone, I can recommend a grief therapist.
If you want to come back to the firm and go on paid leave, I will support you 100%.
But I will not pretend that I think you're doing okay when obviously you're not despite Stacy's wishes.
Wait.
"Stacy's wishes"? She wants me to pretend that I think everything is okay.
But as your friend, I can't do that.
Jane, imagine if Grayson could see you now.
Owen, I know how hard it must be for you to understand that I could find someone so soon after Grayson's death, and I really appreciate your concern, but this doesn't have to make sense to you.
This is my life, and I'm gonna live it the way I want.
My client has a contract.
He can't just be dismissed.
It's my client's position that Mr.
Burton violated the professionalism clause of his contract, which is why he was terminated.
I tweeted about Bigfoot.
How does that make me unprofessional? It's not just your tweet.
You discussed your interest in Bigfoot during multiple assignments.
We cannot recommend someone who would be seen as a kook.
Oh, that's just insulting.
Per the employment contract of Redtail Temporary Services, "Employees will maintain the highest levels of professionalism.
"Any failure to do so will subject them to immediate termination.
" Look, if Dave promises not to discuss Bigfoot in the future, would you give him another shot? I'm sorry, but the owner was very clear.
Okay, well, then you can tell the owner that we'll see him in court.
Thank you for finally returning my call.
What's going on? Ian's not here, is he? No.
It's just me.
'Cause if I'd known you were together, I would not have come back.
Are you really shacking up with him? Okay, listen.
I know this sounds really crazy, but I'm not trying to judge you.
I'm not like that.
I don't care if your turn-ons are chocolate or vanilla or rocky road, but I do not like that man.
- Why? - I don't want to discuss it.
Teri, come on.
I've never said no to you, but I am now.
And if you ask me again, I'm gonna leave, and I'm taking that cranberry scone with me, because it looks delicious.
Fine.
I won't ask you about Ian.
Thank you.
Hey, I'm so glad you're home.
I need your help with my seating chart.
Oh, well, keep your Cousin Bob at the old people's table.
Seriously, he drinks too much, and then he gets handsy with anyone under 70.
Oh, I invited Teri you know, 'cause your Cousin Dora can't make it, so I thought Teri could replace her at the slutty singles table.
Well, actually, I was concerned with table number one.
- That's your table.
- I know.
And I always imagined my groom on one side of me and you on the other.
And that puts me and Ian at the same table as Owen.
And although you and I know the truth, - Owen doesn't trust Ian, and - I know.
He thinks I need mental help.
Okay.
You know what, Stace? Ian and I will just sit at a different table.
But I don't want you at another table.
But I don't want conflict at the wedding.
Owen and I can't even be in the same room right now without attacking each other.
What am I going to do? This is your day and Owen's, and I love you So it's killing me to say that maybe I shouldn't go to your wedding.
I won't sugarcoat it.
I wish court had gone better and that the judge was more sympathetic to our cause.
A $10 million verdict will destroy the Sea Defenders.
We'd have to sell off our boats and all of our other assets.
And if that happens, Japanese whaling will continue unabated.
Which is clearly Okata's goal.
Deena, were you completely in charge of your boat when you attacked the whaling ship? Yeah.
Why? I may have an idea.
The Sea Defenders are not the only responsible party in this case.
Deena Jasper, who captained the Sea Defenders' boat, is also responsible as an individual.
You want to interplead an individual into a lawsuit against an organization? Yes.
Deena was never technically employed by the Sea Defenders.
She didn't draw a salary.
She received no benefits whatsoever.
If you interplead Deena, you'd be putting her personal assets at risk.
I understand.
I would also like to continue to represent the Sea Defenders.
That's insane.
Maybe so, but I can't see a legal reason to reject the request.
We will resume this afternoon.
Dr.
Panaro, please share your credentials with the court.
I'm a doctor of cryptozoology.
My field investigates animals whose existence has not yet been proven.
And do you believe that Bigfoot, AKA Sasquatches, are real? Objection, relevance.
Your honor, Redtail Temps fired my client because they claim he's a kook for believing in Bigfoot.
If Bigfoot is, in fact, real, then clearly, my client is not a kook.
I'll allow it.
It is my belief that Sasquatches are present in North America, living in densely forested areas with high protein sources.
Most likely, they are descendants of the Gigantopithecus, a large prehistoric primate that existed in the Miocene and Pliocene periods.
I'd like to show a short video to the court.
Dr.
Panaro, what were those sounds? My hypothesis is we were listening to the vocalization of a young Sasquatch.
I captured that footage on a recent outing.
Your honor, this is ridiculous.
I agree.
Ms.
Kaswell, you're testing my patience.
I'm trying to prove that my client's interest in Bigfoot isn't that crazy and certainly doesn't warrant termination.
Fine, but wrap it up.
Dr.
Panaro, what percentage of the American population believes in Bigfoot? According to a recent university poll, 30%.
Thank you.
Your witness.
If 30% of all Americans believe in Bigfoot, what percentage finds the idea preposterous? That would be 70%.
More Americans believe in aliens and ghosts than believe in Bigfoot, correct? I believe that's correct.
So, as a doctor, you admit that the belief in Bigfoot is not mainstream.
Yes, but it doesn't necessarily mean Thank you.
No further questions.
Om.
Om.
Om.
- Stacy? - Hi, Paul.
What you doing? Asking my inner voice for guidance.
What does that mean? Well, I read an article that says if you're completely at a loss on what to do about a problem, you should close your eyes, meditate, ask your inner voice, and the answer will come to you.
Any luck? The only sound I hear is my stomach turning from eating a cheesesteak.
Ugh, I swear, one of the twins is a judgmental vegan.
Well, hey, maybe I can help you.
I can be your inner voice.
Here is my problem.
Jane and Owen are barely speaking.
Jane might not come to the wedding.
How do I get the two to get along? You should throw a party.
- What? - Everyone loves parties.
You just get Jane and Owen to loosen up and remember how much they like and respect each other.
- Wow, Paul, that's Sure.
- Brilliant idea? But the trick is to keep the party casual.
If Jane and Owen know what we're really up to, they won't show up.
I'll get the wine, cheese, and toilet paper.
Why toilet paper? Because I live with two women, and we are constantly running out.
See ya.
Ms.
Jasper, do you recognize that document? Yes.
It's my contract with the Sea Defenders.
Would you please read paragraph 6C, concerning your restrictions as a Sea Defender representative? "Sea Defender personnel are specifically barred "from engaging in, encouraging, or sanctioning "any illegal behavior whatsoever.
" That means that you led an unauthorized, illegal attack against Okata's ship? Yes.
I acted entirely outside the scope of my authority.
Your honor, given that my client acted outside of her authority, I'm asking that we dismiss the case against the Sea Defenders, as Deena Jasper is 100% responsible for the attack.
Objection.
Now I see what's going on.
Ms.
Bingum only interpleaded her client as a ploy to substitute one defendant for another.
Regardless of the reasons, Ms.
Jasper just took full responsibility for the attack.
- Given her admission - Hold on.
Paragraph 6C is just boilerplate mumbo jumbo meant to relieve the Sea Defenders of legal culpability.
Well, mumbo jumbo or not, the paragraph is clear.
- Your honor? - I recognize the validity of the mumbo jumbo.
And therefore, I'm issuing a verdict right now against Ms.
Jasper.
Okay, then we are demanding the full satisfaction of the $10 million judgment from Ms.
Jasper.
Oh, that's no problem.
We're ready to pay.
One second.
Thank you.
The contents of this box represent all of Deena's assets a clock radio, an old phone, a watch, and $87 in cash.
Oh, and here is Deena's bankruptcy petition, so good luck collecting on the rest of that $10 million.
Okata did not see that coming.
Jane, you were amazing.
- Oh.
- It was like you set a trap and just led 'em right to it.
Well, Ian deserves all the credit.
- Interpleading was his idea.
- Just happy to help.
- To the Sea Defenders.
- Oh.
Excuse me.
Looking for Deena Jasper.
Uh, Ms.
Jasper is my client.
What is this about? I have a warrant for her arrest.
This has to be a mistake.
The Japanese government is demanding your immediate extradition to face criminal charges in Tokyo.
- What? - Ma'am, you need to come with us.
No, you can't take her away.
Jane.
What do we do? Deena, don't say anything to anyone.
Stacy, why exactly are we having a cocktail party again? Planning the wedding has been stressful, so I thought it might be fun to have a casual get together.
Hey, how do you like your drink? Uh, it's fine.
Thanks.
The secret ingredient is acceptance, which is what you should give Jane when you see her.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
Is that what this is about? You wanted to get me and Jane together? Stacy, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I got to go now.
What are you doing here? We're having a pre-wedding cocktail party.
Paul, get her a drink.
You know, I thought your clients were monsters.
Turns out, the real monster is you.
You had Deena extradited for trying to save the whales? You shamed a massive Japanese corporation in open court.
What did you think was gonna happen? Hey, who wants to play a party game? I have prizes.
I heard you're still working.
Brought pizza.
Thank you.
That's sweet.
Least I could do.
It's, uh, kind of my fault you have to be at the office so late.
I'm actually glad you're here.
Do you know if any of your co-workers ever complained to management about your interest in Bigfoot? No.
In fact, most people seemed fascinated.
Good.
That's helpful.
You know, I really did like you a lot.
I guess the timing wasn't right.
I should have called you back.
It's water under the bridge.
Or is it "Water off a duck's back"? - I'm never quite sure.
- I don't know.
You're unlike any guy I've ever met.
Thank you, I think.
Oh, whoa.
I'm sorry.
I think that, uh, I gave you the wrong impression.
No, no, I'm sorry.
Um, that was totally unprofessional.
Uh, please forgive me.
Um, I I should probably go.
I you've got work to do and pizza to eat.
Yep, I'm super busy and hungry.
- All right.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Excuse me, Teri.
Oh, no.
What are you doing? How did you find me here? You're on tinder.
Look, I just want to talk.
May I sit down, please? Go ahead.
It's a free country.
Knock yourself out.
But I will be moving tables.
Please.
Just give me a minute.
Okay.
I'm timing you.
Okay.
I know I must owe you a huge apology.
Well, you can say that again.
What I did was unforgivable.
You don't say.
I'm lucky you're even talking to me right now.
I totally get it.
Ian, you really hurt me.
I mean, we were best friends all through high school.
We rehearsed that "Star Search" audition, what, for almost a year? I was gonna be famous.
And then you showed up too drunk to play piano, and you messed up my whole act! I am a horrible person.
Yes.
You are.
If you hadn't have screwed up, I could have had Beyonce's career.
Teri, I am so sorry.
But for what it's worth, I'm a completely different person today.
Can you ever forgive me? Your honor, as you can see, I have filed a petition challenging my client's extradition to Japan.
She has not committed a criminal act, and we need you to act forthwith.
I'd like to direct your attention to the trial transcript from the civil case.
Question from Ms.
Bingum, "You led an unauthorized, illegal attack on Okata's ship? Response from Ms.
Jasper.
"Yes.
"I acted entirely outside the scope of my authority.
" Under oath, your client admitted to committing the crime.
Your honor, if you send my client to Japan, you will effectively sentence her to prison.
She won't get a fair trial, and the Japanese will demand their pound of flesh.
Several Japanese sailors were injured in the attack, which provides the Japanese government further grounds for quick extradition.
The real issue here is a powerful company is ticked off because they were stopped from killing a pod of whales.
Enough.
I'm rejecting the petition.
- Ms.
Jasper will be released - Wait.
Please.
Your honor, I am the one who encouraged my client to accept the blame for the attack.
Hence, I would like to now argue that my client is a victim of ineffective assistance of counsel.
Come on! Jane Bingum is a brilliant lawyer.
We all know that Mr.
French is right.
And while I appreciate your zeal, your client will be sent to Japan first thing tomorrow.
Please take Ms.
Jasper back into custody.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Please.
- Ma'am, step up, please.
- Please! - Jane? Jane? - You can't let this happen.
Deena! - Jane! - Deena! You remember that day? Yeah.
How could I forget? We were at Balboa Park, and you taught me how to roller skate.
You know, I was only pretending to fall so you would catch me.
I had a feeling.
You were up early.
I didn't sleep at all, actually.
I mean, it's Stacy's wedding day, and I don't even know if I'm attending.
And, not to mention, our client's flight just took off for Japan.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
- I have some good news.
- Hmm? Teri and I have officially reconciled.
- Really? - Mmm-hmm.
I tracked her down and kept her talking until she told me what happened.
Mmm-hmm.
Apparently, I am a master pianist.
Teri and I went to high school together, and I showed up drunk the day of her "Star Search" audition.
And let me guess she blames you for destroying her chances of becoming the Korean Lady Gaga.
Actually, uh, Beyonce.
I said I was sorry.
And she accepted my apology after I paid for her breakfast.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Three wedding gifts were on the porch, - and this envelope for you.
- For me? Yeah.
It was taped to the door.
Oh, my God.
I got to get dressed.
I'm gonna go see the judge.
What do you want, Ms.
Bingum? Just a moment of your time.
- Talk fast.
- Okay.
Please, look at this invoice.
It's for 5,000 tons of whale meat sold by Okata in 2013.
Okata has the right to sell the meat.
Why is this relevant? The average whale weighs one ton.
The annual legal limit for slaughtering whales is 1,000.
But if they sold 5,000 tons of whale meat, that likely means they killed approximately 5,000 whales.
They exceeded the maximum kill five times over.
It seems Okata violated the law.
- Right.
- But, nevertheless, your client still sabotaged Okata's vessel.
It doesn't change the facts of the case.
Actually, it does.
The U.
S.
Japanese extradition treaty forbids the extradition of Americans charged with political acts.
And if Okata violated international law, then Deena's protest would constitute a political act.
You're absolutely right.
Where did you get this invoice? I am a really good lawyer.
Okay, when the plane lands in Japan, I'll have the state department reach out to No, your honor.
That will be too late.
The Japanese government will never send her back.
What do you want me to do? I have an F.
A.
A.
representative on standby.
One word from you, and that plane gets turned around.
I better make that call.
Um, good morning.
Is it morning already? You're wearing sweats, which means you were working all night.
- Yeah.
- Is this about your wrongful termination case? Owen, I tried to kiss a client.
Oh.
I want to blame it on my post-pregnancy hormones, - but that's not it.
- Okay.
Something is wrong with me.
There's nothing wrong with you.
You're attracted to a client.
It happens.
A few months ago, he was interested in me, so we went on a few dates, but I totally blew him off.
And now, in the middle of this case, I try to attack him with my lips.
It's not normal.
Ah.
That might be your problem.
- You lost me.
- Kim, we're lawyers.
Everything in our professional life is based on rules and and rationale.
We structure our arguments to be legally sound and empirically bulletproof.
But you can't do that with your personal life.
That's not normal.
But I want to.
It's so much easier.
Yes.
It's easier.
It's also boring.
When you surprise yourself, I say celebrate the moment.
Don't punish yourself for it.
Owen French, Managing Partner, is telling me to celebrate the fact that I tried to kiss a client? No.
Your friend is telling you not to beat yourself up for it.
The Managing Partner is telling you to go home, take a shower, and get your butt to court.
Good morning, Mr.
Burton.
We're formal now.
I'm sorry.
It's just I'm just trying to be professional.
Kim, relax.
Are we okay? Yeah, of course we're okay.
Ms.
Kaswell.
Whenever you're ready.
Um your honor, the defendant would like you to believe that this case is about professional etiquette.
But the truth is, it's really about so much more than that.
It's about the way we choose to live our lives.
It's about limitations and possibilities.
Now, do I personally believe in Sasquatch? No, I don't.
But as a metaphor, absolutely.
See, as a lawyer, my life is empirical and logical.
But the truth is I'd rather live in my client's world, where endless possibilities still exist and where the imagination is celebrated.
Thank you.
Ms.
Kaswell, that was a very thoughtful speech, but the law's not on your side.
I'm ruling in favor of Redtail Temporary Services.
The dismissal is upheld.
I'm really sorry.
Did you mean everything you said? Believe it or not, I did.
Why are you still here? Aren't you getting married this evening? Yeah, I'm just finishing up some paperwork.
Listen, I know you taped the invoice to my door.
I don't know what you mean.
Owen, you are the only one who would have access to a document like that.
Actually, you should have had access to it, as well.
I mean, it belonged in discovery.
As an officer of the court, I was obligated to hand it over.
I believe in the judicial process.
Did you get to the judge in time? Yes, Deena lands at L.
A.
X.
in an hour, and Adam's on his way to meet her.
That's great.
Thank you.
You know I'm picking up Stacy and my tux at your place.
Would you care to join me? We could all head over to the wedding together.
Are you sure? It it would mean a lot to Stacy.
And me.
- Shall we? - Yes.
I just need an hour to get ready, and then we can go.
- An hour? - All right, an hour and a half.
Wow.
Stacy.
You are stunning! But wait Owen's not supposed to see this.
Oh.
Oh! Does this mean that you two are talking again? Yeah, we're we're good.
Thank God! Okay, group hug.
Yes! Oh.
Did someone just spill something? - I felt it, too.
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, Stacy.
- Oh.
I think your water just broke.
Nope.
I am not due for another month.
Twins.
Twins.
We knew this could happen.
- I'll get the baby bag.
- Hold on! There are 200 guests about to show up at the Four Seasons, all right? I will just hold the babies in - Mmm.
- until after the appetizers.
I am not missing those truffle stuffed mushrooms.
I know they're good, but no.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
What? Ah, aah! Contraction! I got the baby bag! Okay.
Okay.
Sweetheart, I love you.
I love you so much.
Forget about the mushrooms.
We're gonna get you to the hospital, okay? Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Good.
- Aah! - Aah! Do we have babies yet? No, not yet, but Owen's last text said that they should be here any minute.
How's Stacy doing? You know, she still thinks she can pop out the twins, take a shower, and make it to her own wedding.
- Excuse me.
- Hi, Teri.
I stopped by the Four Seasons, and the caterer gave me a box of stuffed mushrooms and his phone number.
Anybody hungry? I really missed you.
I missed you, too.
Although there was an inmate at Chowchilla who had your same haircut and smooth skin.
I nicknamed her Paula, and we became very close.
Jane, can I talk to you for a second? Sure.
I know that I said I wanted to take a month off, but, um, I need to extend my leave of absence.
Is this about Ian? Because he told me the two of you made up.
It's about me and my music career.
I'm having the time of my life.
Yes.
Sorry.
Please, go.
Take as much time as you need.
Thanks.
And for what it's worth, I'm so happy that you are happy.
- Thank you.
- I hate to say it, but Ian turned out to be a really good guy.
Mmm-hmm.
Truth be told, he really reminds me of Grayson.
Yeah.
Yeah, me, too.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just gonna miss you.
You know, you're my rock.
I love you, Teri.
Oh, God.
Paul, what are you doing? They're called "Pushups.
" Yeah, I know they're called pushups.
- I mean - Everybody! I'm a dad.
Stacy's doing great.
The twins are are healthy and just beautiful.
Um, obviously, we need to postpone the wedding, but Cheetos and Coke from the vending machine, on me! Oh, so generous! Congratulations.
Thank you.
So, uh, the doctor had to give Stacy some painkillers, so no visitors till tomorrow.
She's a little loopy.
She keeps calling me "Big Bird.
" Where's Jane? Hey, sweetie.
- Hi! - Hi.
We had to postpone the wedding.
I know.
But I have a box of stuffed mushrooms for you when you're feeling better.
You are the best! Listen, there's 50 pounds of shrimp in a cooler at the hotel.
You should pick some up.
Bring it to the office.
I know that Kim loves shrimp.
Okay.
Okay.
Sure.
Sure.
Whatever it is you want.
- Hey, listen to this.
- What? I got the best wedding present ever two perfect little babies.
Oh.
Yes, you did.
You did.
Your face looks a little blurry, so I'm just gonna close my eyes so I can see you better.
I think you should close your eyes.
- Hey, Jane? - Yes? I don't know what I would do without you.
Well, good thing I'm not going anywhere.
And, just for the record, if we have kids, I think you'll be an amazing father.
What do you mean, "If we have kids"? We're gonna have kids.
Two boys, two girls, and a dog named Violet.
Whoa.
Why is there a piano in our living room? Because Teri told me that you can play, and I would like to see that for myself.
You bought this for me? I bought it for both of us.
I wonder how long it's been since I played.
They say it's like riding a bike, right? Oh, my God.
You're really good.
Are you kidding? I'm freaking great.
It had to be you It had to be you Wow, I can sing! I never had a voice before.
Oh, you can say that again.
I've wandered around And finally found Somebody who Could make me be true Could make me be blue Or even be glad Just to be sad Thinking of you Some others I've seen They might never be mean They might never be cross Or try to be boss But they wouldn't do 'Cause nobody else Gave me a thrill With all your faults, I love you still It had to be you Wonderful you It had to be you It had to be you Wonderful you It had to be you