Black-ish (2014) s06e23 Episode Script

1
I love a good family photo.
It's a way to take in
how much our family has grown,
and I'm not just talking about
Jack's baby 'stache.
Even though it is coming in nicely.
See, this has been a year
of growth for the Johnsons.
Junior's been working at Stevens & Lido,
Bow has taken nicely to her role
as a member of the
California Board of Medicine,
and Jack and Diane got
deeper into their interests.
But no one's seen more growth
this year than my father.
The experience of love and heartbreak
transformed him into a much
better version of himself.
Yep. The whole family
has gone through changes.
Well, everyone except my mama.
She's always going to be
the same fierce, stubborn, loving woman
who has always given me great comfort.
Mama! We're gonna be late!
Mama, what the hell are you doing?!
Woman, close your robe!
Boy, close the door!
Oh, sweet Black Jesus!
Please tell me they were just wrestling.
I'm sorry you saw what you saw.
We should have been more careful.
Rainbow, you want to help us out?
I don't think I'm getting through here.
Dre?
Sweetheart, your dad
is trying to talk to you.
Everything is gonna be fine.
Are you ready to talk?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's ready.
Look, we know it's
messed up that you caught us,
and I can promise you,
it'll never happen again.
Did you hear what your dad said?
They're never gonna sleep
with each other again, Dre.
Well, I meant more like
Ruby was gonna learn how to lock a door.
- Bow?
- Okay, I'm right here.
- I'm right here.
- Earl, you so silly.
- I'm right here. I'm right here.
- I'm right here.
- I'm sorry that you found out like this.
Yeah, yeah.
But at least it gives us
a chance to come clean.
I mean, we have decided to
give our love one more shot.
- Mm.
- Mm! Mm.
- Oh, my God.
- I want you to meet my new girlfriend, son
your mama.
Bow!
Okay, I-I don't know what to say.
We know this is tough for you, too,
but honestly, for us,
it's a huge weight off our chests.
No more stolen moments alone
in the laundry room.
- Or the pantry
- Mm.
the garage, the downstairs bathroom.
The pool.
The basketball court.
And on top of the garage.
Make it stop.
- Bow, make it stop.
- I'm trying. I
You know what? Maybe you need
some time to process.
- Okay.
- Baby, let's go tell
our grandkids that you're The One.
I'm The One.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, I'm The One.
I'm The One.
Back together?
Oh.
I see what's going on here.
One of you committed a crime.
You're re-marrying so you don't have to
testify against the other.
The only crime committed here
was your grandma
stealing my heart, girl.
I just don't get it.
How did you two manage
to fall back in love
after all the fighting,
the attempted poisonings,
the successful poisonings?
I don't know
that we were ever out of love.
Our story started when we were
just out of school.
I still remember the shirt he wore
when we had our first kiss.
Mm.
The way his cologne smelled
when he put his arm around me
on our first date.
Mm. You remember all of that?
It's our story, Earl.
I guess it's true what they say
about that first love.
It stays with you for your entire life.
Wait, your entire life?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
But don't worry.
We were much older when we met.
About 18.
- 18.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm 20.
Ah, well, then, you better get on it,
because once you're old enough
to buy a woman an amaretto sour
you're no longer young love, Junior.
Here we go, baby.
Is my window for love closing already?
Mm.
Was it ever truly open?
Everywhere I look,
I think, "Is this another place
where they made their gruesome union?"
All right, this doesn't make any sense.
All right, we all know
that it's not gonna last.
Pops is gonna find a way to mess it up,
and when he does, you're
gonna get a Ruby classic
property damage, boats, cars,
a trunk full of Negro League
memorabilia.
- Bow, you know what?
- Hmm?
We're gonna have to get
more home insurance.
Let's hold on for a second, Dre.
We've both seen Pops grow
immeasurably since Lynette.
Maybe this is different.
But
working his voodoo on my mama?
That's old Pops.
- Oh.
- All right, the man is charismatic,
and when he turns the charm on,
he's irresistible.
Where do you think I got it?
Oh, Dre.
You're having a rough day,
so I'm just gonna nod and smile.
And here my mama is,
helpless to resist his charm.
I let this man into my home.
I let this man drink my whiskey,
and he's gonna run game on my mama?
Oh, no. He's gonna have to
cut that mess out.
Mm-hmm. My house, my rules!
Yeah.
I paid the majority of
the down payment, but sure.
"Your house."
Have your little rules.
Pops was out of pocket.
I had to give him a piece of my mind.
Hey, it's me, Dre!
Uh, I'm here,
and I'm opening the door now!
I'm coming in.
Come on in.
I'm having a hell of a time
keeping these orchids alive.
All right, look, um
I'm gonna ask you something.
What are your intentions with my mama?
Wait. Um intentions?
Yes. Intentions.
Are you trying to get her
to change her will?
Live off her pension checks?
Of course not.
I'm gonna take care of her.
Oh, you think I'm joking.
Man, what are your intentions
with my mother?
Are you roping her in
like you always do?
I will fight you.
Boy, if you don't get them
dish-pan hands out of my face
I didn't rope her. She roped me.
What?
Your mother's the one
that wanted to get back together, son.
Hey, it's the truth, son.
Your mom wanted to give it another shot.
Black Jesus blessed me.
- So, she started this?
- I know.
It's a lot for you to take on,
so I'm gonna give you a pass.
But if you try and fight me again
you gonna get to know these hands.
I don't understand.
So, this was her idea?
I was just as shocked as you are.
I never thought I'd get
another chance with her,
especially after everything
that we've been through,
so I didn't even try.
I don't know if you know this,
but I wasn't great to her.
Exactly.
Makes no sense. You don't deserve her.
Of course I don't deserve her.
I'm the luckiest man on the planet
that she'd even consider my ass.
Why do you think I'm in here
buying flowers and ironing sheets
and folding up throws and crap?
I'm doing everything I can
to hold onto that woman.
- You ain't lying, are you?
- No, I am not.
And, son, while you're here
do you know how to fold a fitted sheet?
Yeah.
Put your fingers in the corner.
Once you get the corner
Hey, what you got there, Mama?
Hey. Just a few shirts for your father.
You know I can't see
a maroon velvet tank top
and not think of him.
Ha-ha!
You know what? Uh
Pops said it was your idea
to get back together.
Yeah.
I don't get it, Mama.
Have you forgot your history?
All the fighting,
which led to the late-night crying,
which led to me
taking care of you, feeding you,
hiding your guns.
A kid should never have to
hide that many guns.
Hey, wait a minute, now.
I I know my history.
Then why are you repeating it, Mama?
We're not.
Now, you listen to me.
The things we used to fight about
don't matter no more.
We don't argue about money.
I got money.
We don't argue about raising kids.
Y'all grown.
So, now, we can just enjoy each other.
Things are great.
Mama, things were great
when I was a kid,
and then you blew up his boat.
I have moved on,
and so should you.
Now I got to get this
this tank top on your daddy.
'Cause the sooner I get it on him,
the sooner I get it off.
Earl! Where you at?!
Well, look at this.
Coming in early to do
your first fake casting call.
Outstanding.
No?
I just needed some room to spread out.
It's come to my attention
that I need to find the love of my life
- in the next couple, I don't know, years.
- Well, the choice is obvious.
Choose her.
Why is that obvious?
Well, she seems bright,
like she comes from
a good family, and, uh
Well, I can't really
put my finger on it.
I mean, it's, uh
Wow. Now I see it.
I think I may have a problem.
What's going on here?
Uh, Junior here is looking
for love of his life.
Oh. She's cute. Pick her.
That's Niecy. She hates me.
But based off my grandparents' love,
that would be the right move.
Looks like someone's realizing
that they're running out of time
to find true love, hmm?
Who's this caramel queen?
That's Sky.
We kind of have
a "will they, won't they"
- sort of thing.
- Mm.
People find it delightful.
Hmm.
Still, it can be any one of them.
Man, why is this so hard?
You're too in your head.
It's a game of fate.
And there's only one way
to play a game of fate.
My mother said
she would beat my ass
if I wasn't home by 6:30.
- Uh
- P.M.
Pacific time.
- Saturday.
- Eh
- That one.
- All right.
- Oh.
- Ha-ha.
- Wow.
- Hmm.
- Sky.
- Mm-hmm.
That makes complete sense.
She's funny, she's smart.
Whenever we cross paths, sparks fly.
We've just never really launched.
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Of course it's Sky.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey.
Go to her.
And here's a thousand dollars.
This is gonna require a grand gesture,
and you cannot put love on layaway.
Okay.
I'm gonna do it.
My love story begins today!
- Aww.
- Go get her, man.
Doesn't fate work in mysterious ways?
Does it?
Charlie.
My folks acted like they invented love
and carried on rewriting their
history all around my house.
What the hell?
Bow?
Yeah?
- What's up?
- This.
Oh. I know.
I took that down earlier today,
and they put it back up bigger.
I am so ready for this to be over.
Ooh-hoo!
- Are you kidding me?
- What is that?
What the hell is that?
Woman, are you crazy? You bought
Why'd you buy a boat?
I bought it for you, Earl.
What better symbol of us starting over
than me replacing
the very thing I blew up?
Here.
- Aww.
- Hmm.
There's my handsome baby.
Well, it's nice to know
that just 'cause
something gets destroyed,
it doesn't mean you can't piece
it all back together again.
- Mm. Mwah.
- Thank you, baby.
- Can you believe this?
- Look at you.
This is so romantic.
What?
I believe in their love, Dre.
I-I'm sorry. I-I just do.
You want to go with me
on a multi-day trip
around Catalina?
Earl, we can literally
sail off into the sunset.
Only if you wear
this bracelet I got you.
Ooh!
It's in a little velvet box
up under my pillow.
Ooh, under your pillow?
Let's go, baby. Hey!
Disgusting.
They are making love, Dre.
In the truest sense.
They are making love
right before our eyes.
Are you serious?
Their relationship and that boat
will be reduced to ashes
before bikini season.
- Dre.
- No.
You have no idea if
this is gonna be a disaster.
I don't know.
I think we're just gonna
have to let this play out,
see what happens.
I-I like the way
that things were, all right?
Everybody was getting along.
It was perfect. My mother was happy.
- What
- I-If that explodes now,
all of that goes away.
You don't know what's gonna happen.
- Yes, I do.
- No.
Because it always happens,
and when it does
I'm gonna lose my Pops.
Oh.
That's what this is.
Yes, Bow.
I figured it out
at the same time as you,
so please, don't pat
yourself on the back.
Hey, Mama, can I talk
to you for a second?
Don't come for me over that boat.
I can afford it.
My Jersey Mike's franchise
has been very good to me.
Look, Mama, I
I just want to apologize for before.
I was tripping.
Look, you
are always my number one,
and I'm gonna be
a little overprotective.
But I can see it's different
between you and Pops.
Ooh, Dre, it really is.
But that's the thing, Mama.
When the two of you break up,
I have to choose you
because I put you before everybody.
I never missed having a dad
because you were everything to me.
But, Mama, for the first time,
Pops and I are good.
I never expected to have
the relationship with him
that I have now.
And if I choose you,
that means losing him.
So, can you take a beat
and step back?
Oh, Dre.
- No.
- What?
That's not the way it works, baby.
But I'm scared that
I'm gonna lose my dad again.
Come on, Mama. Do this for me.
I have been putting you
first your entire life, Andre.
I'm not doing it this time.
- But, Mama, sometimes
- Don't "but" me!
I'm grown!
Well, then you're gonna have
to be grown someplace else.
- What are you talking about?
- My house, my rules.
Either you break up with my daddy,
or the both of you have to move out.
Fine.
We will be out by the end of the week.
I like the nightstand.
I'm taking it with me.
For the first time in my life,
my mother had chosen
someone else over me.
Luckily, I had Bow to comfort me.
You know
I fantasized a lot
about the day
your mother would move out.
The news crews would come
to get my reaction.
There would be fireworks
and a crawl under my face
that says,
"Dr. Rainbow Johnson, Survivor."
You really gonna do this now?
After I just had to
kick my own mother out?
Bow, I've been with her
through divorce and eviction
and when she found out
that Bobby Caldwell was white.
I've always been her number-one guy,
and she chose another man over me.
Dre, she did not choose
another man over you.
She chose herself.
I know that you see Ruby as your mother,
but that's not all she is.
She's a woman with desires
and vulnerabilities,
and you wouldn't understand that
'cause you're her son,
and that's not your job.
It's her time now.
But what if this thing
doesn't work out, huh?
How am I supposed to
live through that again?
You and I have both been saying
that it's different this time,
but it's not just them.
It's you.
And you said it yourself.
You've always been there for your mom.
You really want to stop doing that now?
Dre, she's on her way to Catalina.
Talk to her.
Yeah.
I can't leave it like this.
No.
She's the best woman I know.
W
Wow.
Right to my face.
Okay.
Thanks for helping me out, guys.
Diane, you are totally awesome
for offering to film this.
I feel like the world needs to see
- what's about to happen.
- Mm-hmm.
Jack, you got the music cued up?
Cued up to get boo'd up.
All right.
There she is. Jack, music.
For real, for real,
for real this time
Sky!
Sky!
Your Prince Charming is here!
Oh, you make my earth quake
Riding around
Your love is shakin' me up
and it's making my
- Jazz?
- Heart break
Why?
Why are you like this, man?
And cut.
I can't wait to hear why you made
such a huge fool of yourself right now.
I'm okay being a fool for love.
Where's Sky?
I don't know. Text her.
Okay, this is a grand gesture.
You can't text a grand gesture.
And look, I know me and Sky are in this
weird "will they, won't they" thing,
but I'm trying to write our love story.
Junior, I know you're
looking for a story,
but you can't force it.
There's a mystery,
a romance to these things.
Well, what do you think
I'm trying to do here? I mean
It looks like you're trying to
manufacture something.
You got to just let love happen.
You don't write it. You experience it.
- You do?
- Yes.
And, hey, one day,
when you're least expecting it,
you'll meet someone just as earnest
and unbearable as you.
You really mean it?
I don't know, bitch.
I don't work for you.
I'm at school. Go home.
Ooh, I'm so happy
my babies came to see us off!
I'm happy for you, Grandma.
At least love is
working out for someone.
Not all of us are meant to
have some grand love story
where we're swept off our feet
when we're least expecting it.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Ruby, come on. We gotta go
'cause the wind's kicking up.
So's my pill.
- Okay, baby.
- Hmm?
- Mamaaaa!
- Okay, we are coming!
- Mamaaaa!
- Okay.
Okay.
- Mama, wait!
- Okay.
Boy, I should beat your ass
for making me think you weren't
coming to see me.
Look, Mama, I'm sorry
for how I was acting, all right?
You and I have gone through a lot,
and whatever's gonna happen next,
I'm gonna go through that with you, too.
Well, I hope so.
'Cause you kick me out
of the house again,
you gonna get to know these hands.
Come here.
Mm.
Oh, Dre, I really think
it's gonna work this time.
I think so, too.
Okay.
Well, we're off!
Diane!
You got it! Okay, where's the champagne?
Turns out they wouldn't
sell alcohol to me,
but I got the next best thing.
- Ooh.
- Uh-huh.
This is why I never give you jobs.
Goodness gracious.
Oh!
Oh, crap!
I'm so sorry!
No, no, it's totally okay.
Okay, good.
I'm Olivia.
- I'm proud of you.
- Hm?
I know this wasn't easy.
Yeah.
Well, you know, somebody told me
that I was a grown man
and that whatever happens
- Mm.
- I could handle it.
Yeah.
You wouldn't last two minutes
in this world without her.
Nope.
Like I said,
it's been a year of changes
for everyone.
Even me.