Robot Chicken s10e12 Episode Script
Callie Greenhouse in: Fun. Sad. Epic. Tragic.
1
[thunder crashes]
[cackles]
[theme music plays]
[whirring]
MAN: It's alive!
[thunder crashes]
[cackles]
[fireworks exploding]
[dog whimpering]
Ugh, dumb dog.
We go through this
every 4th of July.
Well, you'd be scared, too, if
you had supersensitive hearing.
Superman,
they're just fireworks.
Oh, great. Now he's
pissing all over the floor!
There goes Sonic, fastest
hedgehog in the world!
What can't he outrun?
Gotta go fast,
can't ask for help,
leave my depression behind!
All right, sweetie,
time to save Eternia again.
I wish He-Man would stop
sending you away.
Leaving you
is the hard price I pay
for being many faces,
a master of the universe.
All right.
Have a great day.
Daddy is back!
[deep voice]
And I brought a surprise!
Say hello to Mr. Stripey!
- [laughs]
- I can't live this way!
I don't know where you go
or what you do.
Sometimes I wonder
if you'll even come home!
[cellphone rings]
Damn it.
Ugh, I'm so sorry.
- It's an emergency.
- Are you fuckin' kidding me?
- You said you fixed this.
- [robotic voice] I did.
Go buy me a new machine
or I'm going to my mother's.
You're a machine.
Why don't you try
doing the dishes?!
I've had enough of this BS.
[normal voice] I'm not just
a man of many faces.
I'm a man of many lies.
[sobbing]
- Oh, God.
- Another drink, pal?
Many! [sobs]
[laughs]
What's so funny?
Tic-tac-toes!
[both laugh]
Oh, my God!
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, don't!
No, no!
Mommy, help me!
[screams]
[laughs]
Tic-tac-toes!
[gunshots]
[electricity humming]
"Transformers"!
Ever since I was a little girl,
I wanted ruby slippers.
I'm so happy!
Oh, happy, happy day!
Of course, a fuckin' house.
- Oh! Fuck!
- W-where am I?
[whimsical music plays]
You're in Oz, Dorothy.
- Oh, my
- Hell of a twister.
Anyone see an asian kid?
Why, you're in
uh, one sec.
- Why, you're in Oz!
- Well, how do I get out of Oz?
Ah, just follow
the yellow brick road!
He's off
on a grand adventure!
I don't even know
where this goes.
Why, this will go with my
summer wear perfectly. Thank you!
You're never home.
You talk to your trucks
more than you do me.
You never even touch me
anymore, Bob.
- I just can't do this.
- Wendy, can we fix it?
No We Can't!
[sobs]
The power of Christ
compels you.
The power of Christ compels you!
[cackles] Father Merras, your
mother is in here with me.
Would you like
to leave a message?
Shut your mouth, lord of lies!
Your mother sucks cocks in hell!
Oh!
Hey, that sounds like me ma.
- Ma, stop sucking cocks in hell!
- [laughs]
- Ma, stop it.
- She likes it.
Oh, that she does.
That's for sure. Ma!
Ma, you're embarrassing me
in hell, ma!
She sucks all the cocks
- big, small, white, black
- Oh, well, that's not me ma.
A wild racist, that one was.
Go on sucking, madame.
You're not me ma.
Suck away.
- Suck, suck, suck.
- You have awful breath.
[telephone rings]
Oh, paper cut!
Now give me your purse!
[laughs]
Oh, just don't
hurt me anymore.
Ahh.
Bruce, nipples are not
appropriate workplace attire.
Oh, that's rich coming from you,
Mr. I Walk Around
In My Underwear So Everyone
Can See My Super Dong.
My dong is my dong!
You added those nipples!
- Well, bats have nipples.
- So?
So I'm Batman, duh!
Case closed.
[screeches]
[grunts]
Quit it!
Stop it!
Ow!
- Ugh.
- Superman! [sobs]
Let me
nurse you back to health.
- No! No, no, no, no!
- Now don't
- get off me!
- Drink my bat milk, stupid!
Ah, no!
Let me die!
- Mmm.
- Ah, there you go.
There you go, Kal-El.
- There you go, buddy.
- Mmm.
You made the Ant-Man suit
30 years ago, Dad.
- Have you done anything else?
- Yes.
Behold the future of science!
[upbeat jazz music plays]
- Oh, fuck. What is this?
- Ants!
Pym particles could unlock
quantum teleportation
or limitless energy
and you've been choreographing
bug-based vaudeville?
[chirping]
[funk music plays]
Whoa! Uh, not right now.
[rock music playing]
My back!
Oh, God!
Jamie, why?
Victim is Robert Baratheon,
died in apparent
hunting accident.
Or did he? We need to
talk to those close to him.
Get me Eddard Stark.
[bird caws]
Stark is dead.
My, my,
so the mystery deepens.
Was Robert close
with his brother Renly?
Yes [bird caws]
but he's dead.
Huh. We should talk
to Stark's family, then.
[bird caws] Oh, that's nice.
They're celebrating a wedding.
[bird caws]
Ooh, they are not.
What about
Robert's son Joffrey?
[bird caws]
Ah, very dead.
At least we have Tywin Lannister
to see us through.
[bird caws]
Yeah, nope.
Wait! We are forgetting Robert's
other brother Stannis!
[bird caws]
Well, very, very dead.
Maybe we should stop
saying people's names.
Like Jon Snow.
[bird caws]
[gasps]
Ooh! Ah.
Well, this has been
a strange day.
Let's go pray
in the Great Sept of Baelor.
[birds cawing]
Oh!
What's in the box?
- What's in the box?!
- It's a birthday cake.
- Huh?
- Huh?
ALL:
Happy birthday to you
And many more!
[dance music playing]
Islanders, soon, one couple
will win 50,000 quid,
but it wouldn't be "Love Island"
without a little drama.
Dun-dun da da!
What up, Euro slags!
[rock music playing]
Yo fuck nuts!
It's Bitch Pudding,
AKA Ms. Steal Your Man.
I'm here to get my uterus
crumpet pumped.
I'm on TV to make that money.
So hide your geezers,
you fake-tittied grandmoms,
'cause no bloke can resist
the vise grip of my dong wallet.
Whoo, there's something
about this new tart, mate.
Every bird in here fancies me,
but Bitch Pudding
ticks all my boxes.
Yeah fuck that bitch.
Come here. Look at me.
What's your type?
Oh, you know, rectangular,
made of paper, is green.
Wait, hold up.
Is this country's money green
or would that clash
with your piss-yellow teeth?
NARRATOR: Looks like Bitch Pudding
is ruling the roost
and all the other birds
want to give her a good pecking.
Speak American,
nasally narrator bitch!
[gunshot]
[screaming]
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
go to prison, shank a ho.
- Ugh, Jared, I guess.
- Yeah.
One minute, ladies,
before you choose.
Let's meet someone new.
[rock music playing]
Oi!
My name is Richard Gravy.
Me mates call me Dick,
and the birds call me
Spray Me With Your.
I've had 7,000 sexual partners.
Me body is 90% Jesus tattoos,
even though
I once nicked a baby from Leeds,
and I'm here
to find true love.
- Yo, what's up, shit for tats?
- Anyone every tell you
your mouth looks like
a used glory hole?
[romantic music plays]
Ooh, I choose
the fit new geezer.
- [screams]
- He's mine, Collagen Cooch!
Oh, you!
- Oh, yeah!
- Here comes the lumpy gravy!
[grunts] Just dump it
in my cervix, bitch.
I had a hysterectomy.
Beep, beep!
Nah, man.
I ain't in love.
It's called "MoneyIsland,"
not "LoveIsland."
[romantic music plays]
Don't you hold on me
so it looks like
I'm second-guessing myself.
Bitch, did you see
what I did to that narrator?!
[gunshot]
The winning couple is
Bitch Pudding
and Richard Gravy.
- Da, da, da, daa!
- You've got to be fuckin' kidding.
And now a test of true love
one of those envelopes is empty.
The other
has the £50,000 prize.
Whoever has the money
must choose to share it
or keep it all for yourself.
[cash register dings]
You know, DG,
sharing is caring.
And caring is me not
jamming something bigger
than your dickhole
inside your dickhole.
Toodle-oo, slut!
Thanks for the wet holes!
That's exactly
what I would have done!
Ride through my tunnel,
Gravy train!
- Oh, yeah, you like that. Oi!
- [grunting]
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.
[thunder crashes]
[cackles]
[theme music plays]
[whirring]
MAN: It's alive!
[thunder crashes]
[cackles]
[fireworks exploding]
[dog whimpering]
Ugh, dumb dog.
We go through this
every 4th of July.
Well, you'd be scared, too, if
you had supersensitive hearing.
Superman,
they're just fireworks.
Oh, great. Now he's
pissing all over the floor!
There goes Sonic, fastest
hedgehog in the world!
What can't he outrun?
Gotta go fast,
can't ask for help,
leave my depression behind!
All right, sweetie,
time to save Eternia again.
I wish He-Man would stop
sending you away.
Leaving you
is the hard price I pay
for being many faces,
a master of the universe.
All right.
Have a great day.
Daddy is back!
[deep voice]
And I brought a surprise!
Say hello to Mr. Stripey!
- [laughs]
- I can't live this way!
I don't know where you go
or what you do.
Sometimes I wonder
if you'll even come home!
[cellphone rings]
Damn it.
Ugh, I'm so sorry.
- It's an emergency.
- Are you fuckin' kidding me?
- You said you fixed this.
- [robotic voice] I did.
Go buy me a new machine
or I'm going to my mother's.
You're a machine.
Why don't you try
doing the dishes?!
I've had enough of this BS.
[normal voice] I'm not just
a man of many faces.
I'm a man of many lies.
[sobbing]
- Oh, God.
- Another drink, pal?
Many! [sobs]
[laughs]
What's so funny?
Tic-tac-toes!
[both laugh]
Oh, my God!
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, don't!
No, no!
Mommy, help me!
[screams]
[laughs]
Tic-tac-toes!
[gunshots]
[electricity humming]
"Transformers"!
Ever since I was a little girl,
I wanted ruby slippers.
I'm so happy!
Oh, happy, happy day!
Of course, a fuckin' house.
- Oh! Fuck!
- W-where am I?
[whimsical music plays]
You're in Oz, Dorothy.
- Oh, my
- Hell of a twister.
Anyone see an asian kid?
Why, you're in
uh, one sec.
- Why, you're in Oz!
- Well, how do I get out of Oz?
Ah, just follow
the yellow brick road!
He's off
on a grand adventure!
I don't even know
where this goes.
Why, this will go with my
summer wear perfectly. Thank you!
You're never home.
You talk to your trucks
more than you do me.
You never even touch me
anymore, Bob.
- I just can't do this.
- Wendy, can we fix it?
No We Can't!
[sobs]
The power of Christ
compels you.
The power of Christ compels you!
[cackles] Father Merras, your
mother is in here with me.
Would you like
to leave a message?
Shut your mouth, lord of lies!
Your mother sucks cocks in hell!
Oh!
Hey, that sounds like me ma.
- Ma, stop sucking cocks in hell!
- [laughs]
- Ma, stop it.
- She likes it.
Oh, that she does.
That's for sure. Ma!
Ma, you're embarrassing me
in hell, ma!
She sucks all the cocks
- big, small, white, black
- Oh, well, that's not me ma.
A wild racist, that one was.
Go on sucking, madame.
You're not me ma.
Suck away.
- Suck, suck, suck.
- You have awful breath.
[telephone rings]
Oh, paper cut!
Now give me your purse!
[laughs]
Oh, just don't
hurt me anymore.
Ahh.
Bruce, nipples are not
appropriate workplace attire.
Oh, that's rich coming from you,
Mr. I Walk Around
In My Underwear So Everyone
Can See My Super Dong.
My dong is my dong!
You added those nipples!
- Well, bats have nipples.
- So?
So I'm Batman, duh!
Case closed.
[screeches]
[grunts]
Quit it!
Stop it!
Ow!
- Ugh.
- Superman! [sobs]
Let me
nurse you back to health.
- No! No, no, no, no!
- Now don't
- get off me!
- Drink my bat milk, stupid!
Ah, no!
Let me die!
- Mmm.
- Ah, there you go.
There you go, Kal-El.
- There you go, buddy.
- Mmm.
You made the Ant-Man suit
30 years ago, Dad.
- Have you done anything else?
- Yes.
Behold the future of science!
[upbeat jazz music plays]
- Oh, fuck. What is this?
- Ants!
Pym particles could unlock
quantum teleportation
or limitless energy
and you've been choreographing
bug-based vaudeville?
[chirping]
[funk music plays]
Whoa! Uh, not right now.
[rock music playing]
My back!
Oh, God!
Jamie, why?
Victim is Robert Baratheon,
died in apparent
hunting accident.
Or did he? We need to
talk to those close to him.
Get me Eddard Stark.
[bird caws]
Stark is dead.
My, my,
so the mystery deepens.
Was Robert close
with his brother Renly?
Yes [bird caws]
but he's dead.
Huh. We should talk
to Stark's family, then.
[bird caws] Oh, that's nice.
They're celebrating a wedding.
[bird caws]
Ooh, they are not.
What about
Robert's son Joffrey?
[bird caws]
Ah, very dead.
At least we have Tywin Lannister
to see us through.
[bird caws]
Yeah, nope.
Wait! We are forgetting Robert's
other brother Stannis!
[bird caws]
Well, very, very dead.
Maybe we should stop
saying people's names.
Like Jon Snow.
[bird caws]
[gasps]
Ooh! Ah.
Well, this has been
a strange day.
Let's go pray
in the Great Sept of Baelor.
[birds cawing]
Oh!
What's in the box?
- What's in the box?!
- It's a birthday cake.
- Huh?
- Huh?
ALL:
Happy birthday to you
And many more!
[dance music playing]
Islanders, soon, one couple
will win 50,000 quid,
but it wouldn't be "Love Island"
without a little drama.
Dun-dun da da!
What up, Euro slags!
[rock music playing]
Yo fuck nuts!
It's Bitch Pudding,
AKA Ms. Steal Your Man.
I'm here to get my uterus
crumpet pumped.
I'm on TV to make that money.
So hide your geezers,
you fake-tittied grandmoms,
'cause no bloke can resist
the vise grip of my dong wallet.
Whoo, there's something
about this new tart, mate.
Every bird in here fancies me,
but Bitch Pudding
ticks all my boxes.
Yeah fuck that bitch.
Come here. Look at me.
What's your type?
Oh, you know, rectangular,
made of paper, is green.
Wait, hold up.
Is this country's money green
or would that clash
with your piss-yellow teeth?
NARRATOR: Looks like Bitch Pudding
is ruling the roost
and all the other birds
want to give her a good pecking.
Speak American,
nasally narrator bitch!
[gunshot]
[screaming]
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
go to prison, shank a ho.
- Ugh, Jared, I guess.
- Yeah.
One minute, ladies,
before you choose.
Let's meet someone new.
[rock music playing]
Oi!
My name is Richard Gravy.
Me mates call me Dick,
and the birds call me
Spray Me With Your.
I've had 7,000 sexual partners.
Me body is 90% Jesus tattoos,
even though
I once nicked a baby from Leeds,
and I'm here
to find true love.
- Yo, what's up, shit for tats?
- Anyone every tell you
your mouth looks like
a used glory hole?
[romantic music plays]
Ooh, I choose
the fit new geezer.
- [screams]
- He's mine, Collagen Cooch!
Oh, you!
- Oh, yeah!
- Here comes the lumpy gravy!
[grunts] Just dump it
in my cervix, bitch.
I had a hysterectomy.
Beep, beep!
Nah, man.
I ain't in love.
It's called "MoneyIsland,"
not "LoveIsland."
[romantic music plays]
Don't you hold on me
so it looks like
I'm second-guessing myself.
Bitch, did you see
what I did to that narrator?!
[gunshot]
The winning couple is
Bitch Pudding
and Richard Gravy.
- Da, da, da, daa!
- You've got to be fuckin' kidding.
And now a test of true love
one of those envelopes is empty.
The other
has the £50,000 prize.
Whoever has the money
must choose to share it
or keep it all for yourself.
[cash register dings]
You know, DG,
sharing is caring.
And caring is me not
jamming something bigger
than your dickhole
inside your dickhole.
Toodle-oo, slut!
Thanks for the wet holes!
That's exactly
what I would have done!
Ride through my tunnel,
Gravy train!
- Oh, yeah, you like that. Oi!
- [grunting]
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.