Robot Chicken s10e17 Episode Script
Gracie Purgatory in: That's How You Get Hemorrhoids
1
It's alive!
- Is coloring boring, Dad?
- Of course not.
It's so much fun to
color with you, Megan.
- Let's color some shit[bleep] purple.
- Yay! [bleep] purple!
You like my hair, Nancy?
Most girls find it ridiculous.
Nancy, you cannot go upstairs with him.
Barb, if I want to go upstairs,
and do stranger things
with Steve,
then you can just wait for me
here, so sober and so alone.
This is all so strange.
- Oh, yeah. So strange.
- You like my thing?
- Your stranger thing.
- Take my stranger thing, then.
It's too strange.
- Oh, yeah.
Ugh. Totally gonna get
blamed for this, aren't I?
Yeah, I just ordered an Uber.
It's this new cheap
option called "Uber Plow."
Mm.
Just one more pick-up.
- W-What's happening?
- Are you Stephanie?
No!
I'm Muriel Van Howl, III.
Okay.
Here we go.
Ah, my hip!
- Uber Zeppelin for Muriel.
- Yes, that's me.
You like Led Zeppelin?
I'm just kidding.
I got my old mix
of Billy Joel dubstep.
Oh, shit
Fun fact Brothels were
abundant in ancient Pompei.
Rome minted special coins for payments
with pictures of the sexual act
that the person would pay for.
Some were worth more than
others, depending on the act.
- Hey, could we get a flashback on that?
- You bet.
Anyone have change for an anal?
Yeah, I got four missionaries.
Look at all these handjobs.
Sorry, you can't pay for melon
with a reverse cowgirl.
I'd like to buy your finest orgy.
Okay. This is a missionary coin.
You just drew more people on here.
That's how it looked when I got it.
Uh it's customary to
tip after a flashback?
A rim job!
Thank you, good sir.
I can't believe we're
gonna swim with sharks.
It seems so dangerous.
- Oh, there's the human now!
- Don't worry, Sharketta.
They can't hurt us inside this cage.
- Ah!
- Ah!
Ugh, God, Sharkjoe.
You [bleep] liar.
Humans truly are the
bloodthirsty predators
our shark movies make them out to be.
Wow, that was cute.
- Anything happen up here?
- Nope.
Them damn space parasite, you
got to stop taking over my body.
No.
"Hamilton."
What? What are you talking about?
I want to see "Hamilton."
"Hamilton, " the hottest show in history?
Come on. I'm Eddie Brock,
not the Great Mandrake.
You want me to get house
tickets or something?
- I can barely hold on to my accent.
- "Hamilton."
My God, what a great show!
I had no idea the
founding fathers could rap.
Alexander Hamilton was not Black,
but it's still incredible.
Meet Lin-Manuel Miranda.
No. There's no way we can Oh!
Yo, I'm so sorry, Mr. Lin Miranda.
- Lenny La-Mandolin.
- Oh, don't be sorry.
I'd be surprised if people
didn't sneak in to see me.
I want to touch him.
No, no, no, no, no! Hm.
- You say, "I love you."
- I love you, Lin.
I love me, too.
I am Alexander Hamilton
Alexander Hamilton
is super cool!
And also Venom
Lin Venom Well-Menanda.
Badum!
Hey, are you that tree
that killed Sonny Bono?
Yeah, I got him.
What's it to you?
- This is from Cher.
- No, no, no, no!
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!
Wasn't that fun?
Alright. For the next part of our show,
we'll need a word from the audience.
- Impotence.
- Damn it, Carol!
Thanks for taking a chance on me, sir.
I'm ready to be a star.
Squidward, I'm telling you,
nobody has got what you got.
Okay. Tentacles ready and
action.
Oh. Ooh.
Oh, yes, Squidward.
I'm a big, bright, shining star.
It's scared.
Oh, yes. It thinks it left the oven on.
It's wondering if anyone
saw if the oven was off.
Previously on "Giraffe Cop"
You sure this is a safe
place for a drug deal?
Bro, we're on the second floor.
The cops can't touch us up here.
Oh, no! It's giraffe cop!
I'm always sticking my
neck out for you guys.
Who's the badge who
eats chutes and leaves?
- Giraffe Cop
- Who
Giraffe Cop
Damn right.
Alright, Zico, deal is a deal.
You hand over that space nuke
in exchange for
200 Zacdar crystals.
It was a pleasure doing
business with you, Captain Kirk.
The pleasure is all mine.
Oh, and one last thing
I want to say that you Zactarians
are the filthiest scum in the galaxy,
and I'm disgusted just looking at you.
Beam me up, Scotty.
There's a
transporter malfunction.
Did you really mean that?
No, no, no, no, no!
It was a joke.
It was what we do, you
know, when you, you know,
you make just friends,
just friends.
Why would say that?
Fixed the problem, Captain!
Ha. Because it's true!
You're a planet of grade-A
shit people. Beam me up!
Oh, no. Captain, there's a
dingo in the flip rotator.
Oh, God. Come on, Scotty.
You did mean it!
You think we're shit people.
No, no, no. No, no.
It was all me, Zica.
Zica, look at me. I'm a shit people.
I'm a shit person. I'm shit.
- Forgive me.
- Okay. I appreciate your apology.
All fixed now, Captain.
Psyche!
Adios, shit baby!
Beam me up! Kirk out.
Where's the space nuke, Captain?
Well, uh, crap.
It looks like I forgot it.
You'll have to go back.
Yeah, no. No.
Um, I can't do that.
Whoa, whoa!
What's this?
Well, Solid Snake, I'm
afraid you have scoliosis.
Have you been putting
a strain on your back?
Well, when I want to
be sneaky, I do this.
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
Hm, since you didn't pay me
for pied-piping away your rats,
I shall now pied-pipe
away your children.
- Oh, no, terrible.
- Oh, no, not the children.
No, definitely not my little Johan.
Oh, Johan. I miss you.
Well, hello, there.
I'm Grandmother Willow,
sage spirit of the Earth
that gives advice to Pocahontas
of the Powhatan tribe.
- Yeah, we gave them all smallpox.
- Oh! Uh
Then, I guess
I can give advice to you.
Oh, here's some advice
don't be a tree
- where I'm building my house.
- Ah! Oh, no.
You know, I was
thinking, after dinner tonight,
maybe we could, you know?
Ugh.
She is angry that you only speak
to her when you want the sex.
- I don't take advice from tables.
- Ah!
Stupid face in the wood!
I'm gonna stay at my mother's.
She wants you to go after her.
Listen to your heart, and paint
with all the colors of the
Burn, you stupid face!
You're a real piece
of shit, you know that?
And she's been [bleep] your neighbor!
Paint with that, asshole.
And now, for a special
sponsored edition of
"Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, "
please welcome the Disney Princesses.
"Ariel looks like a fish with
severe mercury poisoning."
Jesus. Some of my friends
died from mercury poisoning.
"Cinderella is" that's
me "as interesting
as a sack of flour that
married into the right family."
Well, [bleep], I was abused.
That's interesting.
"I wanted to see her
make out with the bear."
That was me mum!
How dare you!
Now, you're dead!
So, healthcare
Every time a bell rings,
an angel gets its wings.
Oh, that's right, sweetheart.
- Oh, well, I'm finally gonna be an angel.
- Hold him. Hold him.
Oh! Oh, no! No!
Oh, God, no!
Oh, no! No!
No, no, no!
Oh, it hurts!
Way to go, Clarence.
Is there any warrior who
wishes to challenge T'Challa
for the mantel of the Black Panther?
Very well. If there is no challenger
Pink Panther challenges Black Panther.
Let the battle begin.
Ow.
Huh?
What? Oh!
What?
Oh, good idea.
I should look nice.
I've been building to this for a while.
He's had enough.
He has to yield, or the
challenge is not done.
Do you yield?
He does not yield.
It's alive!
- Is coloring boring, Dad?
- Of course not.
It's so much fun to
color with you, Megan.
- Let's color some shit[bleep] purple.
- Yay! [bleep] purple!
You like my hair, Nancy?
Most girls find it ridiculous.
Nancy, you cannot go upstairs with him.
Barb, if I want to go upstairs,
and do stranger things
with Steve,
then you can just wait for me
here, so sober and so alone.
This is all so strange.
- Oh, yeah. So strange.
- You like my thing?
- Your stranger thing.
- Take my stranger thing, then.
It's too strange.
- Oh, yeah.
Ugh. Totally gonna get
blamed for this, aren't I?
Yeah, I just ordered an Uber.
It's this new cheap
option called "Uber Plow."
Mm.
Just one more pick-up.
- W-What's happening?
- Are you Stephanie?
No!
I'm Muriel Van Howl, III.
Okay.
Here we go.
Ah, my hip!
- Uber Zeppelin for Muriel.
- Yes, that's me.
You like Led Zeppelin?
I'm just kidding.
I got my old mix
of Billy Joel dubstep.
Oh, shit
Fun fact Brothels were
abundant in ancient Pompei.
Rome minted special coins for payments
with pictures of the sexual act
that the person would pay for.
Some were worth more than
others, depending on the act.
- Hey, could we get a flashback on that?
- You bet.
Anyone have change for an anal?
Yeah, I got four missionaries.
Look at all these handjobs.
Sorry, you can't pay for melon
with a reverse cowgirl.
I'd like to buy your finest orgy.
Okay. This is a missionary coin.
You just drew more people on here.
That's how it looked when I got it.
Uh it's customary to
tip after a flashback?
A rim job!
Thank you, good sir.
I can't believe we're
gonna swim with sharks.
It seems so dangerous.
- Oh, there's the human now!
- Don't worry, Sharketta.
They can't hurt us inside this cage.
- Ah!
- Ah!
Ugh, God, Sharkjoe.
You [bleep] liar.
Humans truly are the
bloodthirsty predators
our shark movies make them out to be.
Wow, that was cute.
- Anything happen up here?
- Nope.
Them damn space parasite, you
got to stop taking over my body.
No.
"Hamilton."
What? What are you talking about?
I want to see "Hamilton."
"Hamilton, " the hottest show in history?
Come on. I'm Eddie Brock,
not the Great Mandrake.
You want me to get house
tickets or something?
- I can barely hold on to my accent.
- "Hamilton."
My God, what a great show!
I had no idea the
founding fathers could rap.
Alexander Hamilton was not Black,
but it's still incredible.
Meet Lin-Manuel Miranda.
No. There's no way we can Oh!
Yo, I'm so sorry, Mr. Lin Miranda.
- Lenny La-Mandolin.
- Oh, don't be sorry.
I'd be surprised if people
didn't sneak in to see me.
I want to touch him.
No, no, no, no, no! Hm.
- You say, "I love you."
- I love you, Lin.
I love me, too.
I am Alexander Hamilton
Alexander Hamilton
is super cool!
And also Venom
Lin Venom Well-Menanda.
Badum!
Hey, are you that tree
that killed Sonny Bono?
Yeah, I got him.
What's it to you?
- This is from Cher.
- No, no, no, no!
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!
Wasn't that fun?
Alright. For the next part of our show,
we'll need a word from the audience.
- Impotence.
- Damn it, Carol!
Thanks for taking a chance on me, sir.
I'm ready to be a star.
Squidward, I'm telling you,
nobody has got what you got.
Okay. Tentacles ready and
action.
Oh. Ooh.
Oh, yes, Squidward.
I'm a big, bright, shining star.
It's scared.
Oh, yes. It thinks it left the oven on.
It's wondering if anyone
saw if the oven was off.
Previously on "Giraffe Cop"
You sure this is a safe
place for a drug deal?
Bro, we're on the second floor.
The cops can't touch us up here.
Oh, no! It's giraffe cop!
I'm always sticking my
neck out for you guys.
Who's the badge who
eats chutes and leaves?
- Giraffe Cop
- Who
Giraffe Cop
Damn right.
Alright, Zico, deal is a deal.
You hand over that space nuke
in exchange for
200 Zacdar crystals.
It was a pleasure doing
business with you, Captain Kirk.
The pleasure is all mine.
Oh, and one last thing
I want to say that you Zactarians
are the filthiest scum in the galaxy,
and I'm disgusted just looking at you.
Beam me up, Scotty.
There's a
transporter malfunction.
Did you really mean that?
No, no, no, no, no!
It was a joke.
It was what we do, you
know, when you, you know,
you make just friends,
just friends.
Why would say that?
Fixed the problem, Captain!
Ha. Because it's true!
You're a planet of grade-A
shit people. Beam me up!
Oh, no. Captain, there's a
dingo in the flip rotator.
Oh, God. Come on, Scotty.
You did mean it!
You think we're shit people.
No, no, no. No, no.
It was all me, Zica.
Zica, look at me. I'm a shit people.
I'm a shit person. I'm shit.
- Forgive me.
- Okay. I appreciate your apology.
All fixed now, Captain.
Psyche!
Adios, shit baby!
Beam me up! Kirk out.
Where's the space nuke, Captain?
Well, uh, crap.
It looks like I forgot it.
You'll have to go back.
Yeah, no. No.
Um, I can't do that.
Whoa, whoa!
What's this?
Well, Solid Snake, I'm
afraid you have scoliosis.
Have you been putting
a strain on your back?
Well, when I want to
be sneaky, I do this.
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go?
Hm, since you didn't pay me
for pied-piping away your rats,
I shall now pied-pipe
away your children.
- Oh, no, terrible.
- Oh, no, not the children.
No, definitely not my little Johan.
Oh, Johan. I miss you.
Well, hello, there.
I'm Grandmother Willow,
sage spirit of the Earth
that gives advice to Pocahontas
of the Powhatan tribe.
- Yeah, we gave them all smallpox.
- Oh! Uh
Then, I guess
I can give advice to you.
Oh, here's some advice
don't be a tree
- where I'm building my house.
- Ah! Oh, no.
You know, I was
thinking, after dinner tonight,
maybe we could, you know?
Ugh.
She is angry that you only speak
to her when you want the sex.
- I don't take advice from tables.
- Ah!
Stupid face in the wood!
I'm gonna stay at my mother's.
She wants you to go after her.
Listen to your heart, and paint
with all the colors of the
Burn, you stupid face!
You're a real piece
of shit, you know that?
And she's been [bleep] your neighbor!
Paint with that, asshole.
And now, for a special
sponsored edition of
"Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, "
please welcome the Disney Princesses.
"Ariel looks like a fish with
severe mercury poisoning."
Jesus. Some of my friends
died from mercury poisoning.
"Cinderella is" that's
me "as interesting
as a sack of flour that
married into the right family."
Well, [bleep], I was abused.
That's interesting.
"I wanted to see her
make out with the bear."
That was me mum!
How dare you!
Now, you're dead!
So, healthcare
Every time a bell rings,
an angel gets its wings.
Oh, that's right, sweetheart.
- Oh, well, I'm finally gonna be an angel.
- Hold him. Hold him.
Oh! Oh, no! No!
Oh, God, no!
Oh, no! No!
No, no, no!
Oh, it hurts!
Way to go, Clarence.
Is there any warrior who
wishes to challenge T'Challa
for the mantel of the Black Panther?
Very well. If there is no challenger
Pink Panther challenges Black Panther.
Let the battle begin.
Ow.
Huh?
What? Oh!
What?
Oh, good idea.
I should look nice.
I've been building to this for a while.
He's had enough.
He has to yield, or the
challenge is not done.
Do you yield?
He does not yield.