Robot Chicken s10e18 Episode Script
Sundancer Craig in: 30% of the Way to Crying
1
[thunder crashes]
[theme music plays]
[whirring]
MAN: It's alive!
[thunder rumbles]
[thunder crashes]
Hey. You can understand
Detective Pikachu, right?
All I hear is "pika, pika."
Why?
What do you hear?
Kill John Lennon.
[gunshot]
- [speaks indistinctly]
- What?
- [speaks indistinctly]
- What?
Repeat after me.
The rain in Spain
stays mainly in the plain.
The rain in Spain
[speaks indistinctly]
[sighs] Nobody is gonna
believe you're human
if you sound like that.
Try again.
The rain in Spain
stays mainly in the plain.
The rain
on Spain
stays mainly in the plain, ugh.
Good! Good, again!
The rain in Spain stays
mainly on the Get down!
[gunshots]
You said, "get down,"
and I understood you!
By George, I think
you've got it!
This 1932 Bordeaux
is quite jejune.
I would have preferred a 1931.
Yeah, that is definitely
a very human thing to say.
[beeping]
Goodbye, old friend!
- Hey, no dumping!
- Rules don't apply to me!
I'm fuckin' Emily Elizabeth!
Bam, bam, bam, bam!
Good morning,
Disney villain descendants!
Today, we have a new student
joining us.
My name is Laura,
and my dad is Wolverine.
- Wolverine is not Disney.
- Or a villain.
Wolverine is Marvel,
and Marvel is owned by Disney,
and he kills people
with razor-sharp claws, so
Well, if you want to hang with us,
we need to know
if you're wicked to the root.
- Or all you all talk?
- [music]
They say I'm naughty
They say I'm wrong
Teachers and me
don't get along
They call me misfit
I think I'm cute
You know, I'm wicked
down to the root
- Ow!
- They say I don't belong
And my dad is not a villain
But name another girl
that does as much killing
Most of the kids would
be outside playing
I'd rather slit some throats
and see the blood spraying
I'm wicked to the root,
so you better be wearing me
I watched my father die
and never got therapy
Next one that says
I don't belong in this place
Will be the first
motherfucker
Get stabbed in the face
Wow.
That was actually really
Ah! Ugh!
Why the fuck
would you kill him?
If I didn't, I'd be all talk.
How are the Power Rangers
doing this?
They're only teenagers!
Ugh! Think, Rita!
This calls for
a different approach!
Wait!
- Ugh!
- I can buy you booze!
[ding!]
- Aw, man!
- Yes!
- Wasted!
- Alcohol!
Stop! Rangers, you must
save the Earth!
Shut up, dad!
- Whoo!
- Ay, ay, ay!
Robot ride, TikTok.
[doorbell rings]
Oh, shit.
Somebody called the cops!
- [cackling]
- I, uh, can't get arrested again!
Your parents are going to be
very disappointed in you!
MAN: Coming up in the exciting new
season of "Ice Road Truckers,"
global warming changes
all the rules.
Global warming my ass.
The river has frozen solid
enough to drive
on every year since my daddy
Ah!
MAN: And announcing our new show
"Ice Road Helicopters"
because copters don't sink
into rivers, or do they?
Fridays at 8:00.
- I'm Don Lemon Lime.
- And I'm Wolf Spritzer.
Today, a city bus smashed into
a baby carriage filled with cans.
Warning, this footage may be
too graphic for some viewers.
We go to our reporter
on the scene.
Thanks, Wolf.
The speeding bus was going
just over 50 miles per hour.
Bystanders report hearing
someone on the bus say, "whoa!"
In other news, authorities have
discovered yet another mass grave.
And now, would anyone like to
say a few words about Jeffrey?
No one?
Okay.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Seriously? No one has
anything to say about me?
- [all gasp]
- Jeffrey?
- You're alive?
- Uh, hell yes, I am!
I faked my death to see
what people would say,
- not much, I guess!
- That is so messed up!
Uh, messed up is watching you
text at my funeral, Linda!
Jeffrey, you are
completely insane!
You didn't cry one tear, not one!
That is completely insane!
- How could you do this?
- You're a jerk!
- A monster!
- Asshole!
You back away!
I am the victim here!
- Dude, that's fucked up!
- Yeah!
I I had to take off
work for this.
Get away! My chest hurts!
Ah! Gah!
Ugh! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ashes to ashes.
They're grrrreat!
My teacher says homosexuals
used bandannas in the '70s
- as code for sex acts.
- Red is for fiiiisting!
But we should report
your teacher.
You're up, Felicity Hopman!
Listen, the birds sense
the monster is coming.
Come on!
[grunting]
Ow, my skull!
Don't look.
[all grunting, shouting]
- Ow, my head, ow.
- Ow.
I'm calling Child
Protective Services!
Quick! We have to find our
blindfolds before we see
[screeches]
'Sups, gangs?
Anyone know where to get some
fresh peanuts in these woods?
Honk!
this bird's disgusting vagina.
The sight of it is what's making
people kill themselves.
It's literally this bird's box.
Hey! My box is primo, mwah,
just needs a little
Summer's Eve or something.
Ew! Why is there pus
coming out of it?
[crying]
I'm so sorry, kids!
I can't let you live in a world
having seen that. [gun cocks]
Bang, bang, ba!
Whatevs, bitches.
I'ma just be me.
[sniffs] Whew.
I should probably get tested.
[screaming]
We shall play until the end.
We shall serve drinks
until the end!
- Whoo!
- Thank you.
We shall wash dishes
until the end.
We shall look out for icebergs
until the end.
And no breaks this time.
[snoring]
Okay, kids.
Today, we'll be going over
- Hi, Glen.
- [screams]
Time to face your
ultimate fear. [cackles]
Ah! I'm naked at school!
Not that, I'm talking about me,
yah, your ultimate fear!
[laughter]
- Look at Glen's balls.
- Oh, man, they're different sizes!
- With moles!
- They're supposed to be!
That's how God makes balls!
T-This is a nightmare!
No, I'm the nightmare!
Witness all the souls
I consumed! Rah!
[screaming]
[laughter]
ALL: Look at that guy's dick!
Please kill me!
Just get me out of this!
Just kill me, man!
Now I don't even
want to kill you.
You're scary!
You're you are a nightmare!
That sweater is terrifying!
Please, get back here
and kill me!
Fuck you!
And fuck your ugly balls!
Good night!
- Don't let the bedbugs bite!
- I won't, Daddy.
[screaming]
- Ah! What did I tell you?!
- I'm sorry!
- You had one job!
- Oh, my god, I'm sorry!
HARVEY: All right, everybody!
It's time to play
"Family Feud: Ent Edition."
All right, everybody.
Calm down. [cheering]
Let's start the show.
Thank you. I love you, too.
We've got Birchseed and
Treebeard here to start us off.
Name a color that a wizard
might wear.
Still looking for a color for
for a wizard, you know,
maybe something that
A color for his robe, you know?
Wizards wear hats,
wizard hat color,
wizard shoes, you know
whether they be
like a dress shoe or
a wizard-y tennis shoe?
Oh, good, good.
Okay, okay.
The trees are moving.
Hurry up. Come on.
There they go.
Look like we got a race.
Sooner or later, one of y'all
gonna come down,
and that first one to do so
gets to answer!
Don't use your muscle power.
Just let it let it go limp.
Let gravity take over.
Don't fight it now.
Just let it
[beep]
[groaning]
And that's all the time we have for
"Family Feud: Ent Edition."
Hey! Do you have the new
Air Jordan 3s in mocha?
Yeah, I guess yeah,
I guess these are cool, too.
MAN: It was supposed to be
a routine mission.
Predator Wilson to
headquarters, do you copy?
Ugh, there's no signal, Jesus.
Stranded on
an unforgiving planet
Oh, thank God, civilization!
[crying]
[gunshot]
What the fuck?!
a planet of monsters
[screams]
I don't want to die!
No! Get away!
[screams]
I'm so I'm sorry!
Oh, fuck!
[speaking indistinctly]
- I need you to shut up.
- Ow!
hunted by
bloodthirsty humans
Ah! Oh, thank God,
Marjorie packed me
a first aid kit,
oh, my God. [sobs]
If it bleeds, we can kill it!
[scoffs] I hope they're not
talking about me.
Ugh, I might never see
my family again.
Ah, surprise!
ruthlessly beaten
and left to die [coughs]
but not before having
the last laugh.
VOICE: Please enjoy this joke while
your self-destruct warms up.
What's the difference between
a zleeborg and a clorvax?
One is a zargok.
The other is a buck buck!
[laughing maniacally]
[beeping]
Coming this mating season
based on a true story, "Human."
- That looks scary!
- Nope. Nope. Not for me.
No thanks.
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.
[thunder crashes]
[theme music plays]
[whirring]
MAN: It's alive!
[thunder rumbles]
[thunder crashes]
Hey. You can understand
Detective Pikachu, right?
All I hear is "pika, pika."
Why?
What do you hear?
Kill John Lennon.
[gunshot]
- [speaks indistinctly]
- What?
- [speaks indistinctly]
- What?
Repeat after me.
The rain in Spain
stays mainly in the plain.
The rain in Spain
[speaks indistinctly]
[sighs] Nobody is gonna
believe you're human
if you sound like that.
Try again.
The rain in Spain
stays mainly in the plain.
The rain
on Spain
stays mainly in the plain, ugh.
Good! Good, again!
The rain in Spain stays
mainly on the Get down!
[gunshots]
You said, "get down,"
and I understood you!
By George, I think
you've got it!
This 1932 Bordeaux
is quite jejune.
I would have preferred a 1931.
Yeah, that is definitely
a very human thing to say.
[beeping]
Goodbye, old friend!
- Hey, no dumping!
- Rules don't apply to me!
I'm fuckin' Emily Elizabeth!
Bam, bam, bam, bam!
Good morning,
Disney villain descendants!
Today, we have a new student
joining us.
My name is Laura,
and my dad is Wolverine.
- Wolverine is not Disney.
- Or a villain.
Wolverine is Marvel,
and Marvel is owned by Disney,
and he kills people
with razor-sharp claws, so
Well, if you want to hang with us,
we need to know
if you're wicked to the root.
- Or all you all talk?
- [music]
They say I'm naughty
They say I'm wrong
Teachers and me
don't get along
They call me misfit
I think I'm cute
You know, I'm wicked
down to the root
- Ow!
- They say I don't belong
And my dad is not a villain
But name another girl
that does as much killing
Most of the kids would
be outside playing
I'd rather slit some throats
and see the blood spraying
I'm wicked to the root,
so you better be wearing me
I watched my father die
and never got therapy
Next one that says
I don't belong in this place
Will be the first
motherfucker
Get stabbed in the face
Wow.
That was actually really
Ah! Ugh!
Why the fuck
would you kill him?
If I didn't, I'd be all talk.
How are the Power Rangers
doing this?
They're only teenagers!
Ugh! Think, Rita!
This calls for
a different approach!
Wait!
- Ugh!
- I can buy you booze!
[ding!]
- Aw, man!
- Yes!
- Wasted!
- Alcohol!
Stop! Rangers, you must
save the Earth!
Shut up, dad!
- Whoo!
- Ay, ay, ay!
Robot ride, TikTok.
[doorbell rings]
Oh, shit.
Somebody called the cops!
- [cackling]
- I, uh, can't get arrested again!
Your parents are going to be
very disappointed in you!
MAN: Coming up in the exciting new
season of "Ice Road Truckers,"
global warming changes
all the rules.
Global warming my ass.
The river has frozen solid
enough to drive
on every year since my daddy
Ah!
MAN: And announcing our new show
"Ice Road Helicopters"
because copters don't sink
into rivers, or do they?
Fridays at 8:00.
- I'm Don Lemon Lime.
- And I'm Wolf Spritzer.
Today, a city bus smashed into
a baby carriage filled with cans.
Warning, this footage may be
too graphic for some viewers.
We go to our reporter
on the scene.
Thanks, Wolf.
The speeding bus was going
just over 50 miles per hour.
Bystanders report hearing
someone on the bus say, "whoa!"
In other news, authorities have
discovered yet another mass grave.
And now, would anyone like to
say a few words about Jeffrey?
No one?
Okay.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Seriously? No one has
anything to say about me?
- [all gasp]
- Jeffrey?
- You're alive?
- Uh, hell yes, I am!
I faked my death to see
what people would say,
- not much, I guess!
- That is so messed up!
Uh, messed up is watching you
text at my funeral, Linda!
Jeffrey, you are
completely insane!
You didn't cry one tear, not one!
That is completely insane!
- How could you do this?
- You're a jerk!
- A monster!
- Asshole!
You back away!
I am the victim here!
- Dude, that's fucked up!
- Yeah!
I I had to take off
work for this.
Get away! My chest hurts!
Ah! Gah!
Ugh! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ashes to ashes.
They're grrrreat!
My teacher says homosexuals
used bandannas in the '70s
- as code for sex acts.
- Red is for fiiiisting!
But we should report
your teacher.
You're up, Felicity Hopman!
Listen, the birds sense
the monster is coming.
Come on!
[grunting]
Ow, my skull!
Don't look.
[all grunting, shouting]
- Ow, my head, ow.
- Ow.
I'm calling Child
Protective Services!
Quick! We have to find our
blindfolds before we see
[screeches]
'Sups, gangs?
Anyone know where to get some
fresh peanuts in these woods?
Honk!
this bird's disgusting vagina.
The sight of it is what's making
people kill themselves.
It's literally this bird's box.
Hey! My box is primo, mwah,
just needs a little
Summer's Eve or something.
Ew! Why is there pus
coming out of it?
[crying]
I'm so sorry, kids!
I can't let you live in a world
having seen that. [gun cocks]
Bang, bang, ba!
Whatevs, bitches.
I'ma just be me.
[sniffs] Whew.
I should probably get tested.
[screaming]
We shall play until the end.
We shall serve drinks
until the end!
- Whoo!
- Thank you.
We shall wash dishes
until the end.
We shall look out for icebergs
until the end.
And no breaks this time.
[snoring]
Okay, kids.
Today, we'll be going over
- Hi, Glen.
- [screams]
Time to face your
ultimate fear. [cackles]
Ah! I'm naked at school!
Not that, I'm talking about me,
yah, your ultimate fear!
[laughter]
- Look at Glen's balls.
- Oh, man, they're different sizes!
- With moles!
- They're supposed to be!
That's how God makes balls!
T-This is a nightmare!
No, I'm the nightmare!
Witness all the souls
I consumed! Rah!
[screaming]
[laughter]
ALL: Look at that guy's dick!
Please kill me!
Just get me out of this!
Just kill me, man!
Now I don't even
want to kill you.
You're scary!
You're you are a nightmare!
That sweater is terrifying!
Please, get back here
and kill me!
Fuck you!
And fuck your ugly balls!
Good night!
- Don't let the bedbugs bite!
- I won't, Daddy.
[screaming]
- Ah! What did I tell you?!
- I'm sorry!
- You had one job!
- Oh, my god, I'm sorry!
HARVEY: All right, everybody!
It's time to play
"Family Feud: Ent Edition."
All right, everybody.
Calm down. [cheering]
Let's start the show.
Thank you. I love you, too.
We've got Birchseed and
Treebeard here to start us off.
Name a color that a wizard
might wear.
Still looking for a color for
for a wizard, you know,
maybe something that
A color for his robe, you know?
Wizards wear hats,
wizard hat color,
wizard shoes, you know
whether they be
like a dress shoe or
a wizard-y tennis shoe?
Oh, good, good.
Okay, okay.
The trees are moving.
Hurry up. Come on.
There they go.
Look like we got a race.
Sooner or later, one of y'all
gonna come down,
and that first one to do so
gets to answer!
Don't use your muscle power.
Just let it let it go limp.
Let gravity take over.
Don't fight it now.
Just let it
[beep]
[groaning]
And that's all the time we have for
"Family Feud: Ent Edition."
Hey! Do you have the new
Air Jordan 3s in mocha?
Yeah, I guess yeah,
I guess these are cool, too.
MAN: It was supposed to be
a routine mission.
Predator Wilson to
headquarters, do you copy?
Ugh, there's no signal, Jesus.
Stranded on
an unforgiving planet
Oh, thank God, civilization!
[crying]
[gunshot]
What the fuck?!
a planet of monsters
[screams]
I don't want to die!
No! Get away!
[screams]
I'm so I'm sorry!
Oh, fuck!
[speaking indistinctly]
- I need you to shut up.
- Ow!
hunted by
bloodthirsty humans
Ah! Oh, thank God,
Marjorie packed me
a first aid kit,
oh, my God. [sobs]
If it bleeds, we can kill it!
[scoffs] I hope they're not
talking about me.
Ugh, I might never see
my family again.
Ah, surprise!
ruthlessly beaten
and left to die [coughs]
but not before having
the last laugh.
VOICE: Please enjoy this joke while
your self-destruct warms up.
What's the difference between
a zleeborg and a clorvax?
One is a zargok.
The other is a buck buck!
[laughing maniacally]
[beeping]
Coming this mating season
based on a true story, "Human."
- That looks scary!
- Nope. Nope. Not for me.
No thanks.
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.