13 Reasons Why (2017) s02e13 Episode Script
Bye
1 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CLAY.]
I thought a long, long time about what to say today.
How to pay tribute, but also tell the truth.
It truly hurts me to think that my actions have caused anyone emotional distress.
When I think of the pain that I may have caused, I-I just Well, I feel awful.
Every day, I wish that I could go back in time.
I was used to a certain culture of partying and hookups, and many of us never questioned it, but it is time to question it.
And I know that I need to be the one to set an example.
I'm I'm trying every day to be a better man, to be the man that my parents raised me to be.
And to be a positive influence at Liberty High.
It is my sincerest hope that you will allow me to do so.
Thank you, sir.
- Does the county accept the allocution? - We do, Your Honor.
Prior to sentencing, the victim would like to exercise her right to make her own statement.
Proceed.
[CLAY.]
I have to admit, when I was asked to speak today, I didn't want to.
To stand up in front of all these people.
But it's what Hannah deserves.
Your Honor, thank you for this opportunity to address the court.
If it's all right, for the first part of my statement, I'd like to address the defendant directly.
- [JUDGE.]
Go right ahead.
- Why not? The first weekend in September, my parents were out of town and my little brothers were at their grandparents'.
I wanted to host a party like I thought a popular cheerleader should.
My boyfriend was there.
Your friend Justin.
We had been drinking.
We decided to go up to my room.
I remember making out with him.
And then I [INHALES.]
And then I started to fall asleep or or pass out.
I just I remember thinking that I just needed to close my eyes for a few minutes.
Then he Then he walked out of the room.
And then I remember waking up to you pulling off my underwear.
I remember feeling you push yourself inside of me.
[SNIFFLES.]
I may not remember all of the details, but I will never forget the sheer terror of feeling your weight on top of me, of not being able to breathe.
When I opened my eyes, I was alone in the hot tub with him, and there was The way he looked at me, there was something in his eyes.
And I was afraid.
I wanted to slow down, but he told me not to be a tease.
And he pushed me down on the couch and said he was glad I had waited for him.
And then he pulled off my jeans and then my underwear.
And he said that if I showed my body better, people wouldn't think I was a lesbian.
He used a different word.
And then he grabbed me on the inside of my thigh.
At that moment, we were left alone, and he picked me up.
He just picked me up and carried me behind the fence.
And he lay down on top of me and started to take my pants off.
I fought and I fought, but he was 18 and I was 12.
I found out later this guard had a reputation.
When he got up from my bed and left, my roommate rolled over and told me it happened to most of the girls.
I was a second-year associate.
He invited me to a strategy meeting in his hotel room.
He answered the door in his bathrobe.
I spent the evening insisting we work on the case.
At the end of that year, I was let go.
I had been babysitting for this family for, I guess, two years.
He was my youth pastor.
My second cousin.
Your Honor, when we leave this courtroom, Bryce Walker gets to leave convinced that he chose the wrong girl to have sex with.
I get to leave constantly looking over my shoulder for monsters dressed up as the popular kid, constantly on edge and assuming the worst in every boy.
The sentence you decide today can tell Bryce Walker what he did was wrong.
It can say that to every boy, every man who behaves like he does.
And it can say to victims like me that our story matters.
Thank you.
Prosecution has put forth a sentencing recommendation.
Does the defense have anything to contribute? Your Honor, this is a terribly unfortunate event.
And two young lives have been changed forever.
Bryce has lost all his scholarship offers.
The school district has cancelled what might well have been a championship season.
There is regret on all sides.
We urge the court to let these two young people start rebuilding and return to their lives.
This is a tragedy all around.
As a judge, it's my role to look at both sides.
And California law requires every judge to consider rehabilitation and probation for first-time offenders.
I'd like to see these two young people look hard at their lives and their choices.
But I don't want to do any further damage.
Mr.
Walker I expect you to walk the straight and narrow.
I'm sentencing you to three months probation.
So ordered.
- [GAVEL POUNDS.]
- Your Honor, three months probation? - [JUDGE.]
That's all.
- [GAVEL POUNDS.]
[CLAY.]
I'm angry.
I'm sad.
And I still have no idea how what happened happened.
Talk to me about the sex doll that was found at Ms.
Davis' home.
Or the dead rat that was inside Mr.
Dempsey's locker.
The vandalism to Mr.
Padilla's car.
This is bullshit.
What about the shooting target you sent my son? I didn't do any of that.
We have several kids who say he intimidated witnesses, engaged in felony vandalism.
Everyone's saying all kinds of shit, but it's not true.
Where's the gun? I never touched a gun in my life.
Your Honor, Bryce Walker was released on bail within hours of his arrest, and Justin has been stranded in juvenile detention for almost a month.
[JUDGE.]
I'm aware of the timeline.
The related case is complete as of today.
Justin's plea is in, the paperwork is done.
Understood, Counselor, but as a minor, he has to be released into custody.
We have been searching for Amber Foley for weeks, Your Honor.
- She's nowhere to be found.
- Keep looking.
Until then, he's remanded.
Bailiff? [DOOR OPENS.]
Hang on, Justin.
We're working on it.
I know.
Thank you.
[CLAY.]
We're still learning all the ways we've been changed.
All the things we've lost.
I'm so fucking sorry.
It's insane.
But somehow I still feel stronger.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Wait, where's Justin? They'll only release him to a guardian, and the judge won't move on it.
We've filed emergency papers, but it's a 24-hour minimum.
I'll take the petition to Purdy.
He owes us.
Do you wanna start on the order for the school? Yeah.
We're asking for a court order to force the school to protect you.
To keep him away from you.
Thank you.
Mom, is your firm I mean, are they cool with this? I've left the firm to work with Dennis on cases like this.
Oh, that's That's cool.
[BRYCE SIGHS.]
[CLAY.]
We're just starting to figure out how to go on with our lives.
Coach said we could leave our lockers till the end of the year.
I'm transferring.
To Hillcrest.
Hillcrest? You got the grades for that? Not exactly.
Well, private schools need fields, too, I guess.
Yeah.
And uniforms and all that shit.
- [BAG ZIPS.]
- Speaking of which not all of my credits transferred, so I'll be going in as a junior.
Which means I'll see you on the field this fall.
They're letting you play football? That's right.
See you at the dance.
Wait.
So, you and Chloe? Yeah.
Loyalty.
It's a thing, huh? Take care of yourself, Zachy.
[CLAY.]
I say "go on" and not "move on" because in some ways we'll never completely move on from what happened.
Your meeting with the district psychologist went well and the reports from your diversion program are excellent.
It was a good program.
Tell me why.
Um, well, at first, it was very difficult.
You know, the long hikes and the camping.
But after a few days, with everything else stripped away, you're just left to your thoughts and you learn things.
And what did you learn? That I can choose how I respond to things.
That even if I am feeling angry, or lonely, or whatever, that I'm in control of my own actions.
I can't control what other people do, but I can control my response.
Do you think you're ready to come back? Do you think things will be different? Yeah, I think so.
I'm ready.
Principal Bolan is concerned that we keep a very close eye on you.
I understand.
And your return won't be easy.
No, I know.
[CHATTER.]
Hey.
Hi! Hi.
[GIGGLES.]
Hey.
- You're back! - I am.
- Wow.
You look good.
- Thanks.
Yeah, apparently, natural sunlight and physical exercise are, like, good for us or something.
- Something.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Something.
The good news is that I'm back in time for the Spring Fling.
And I was determined to make it back in time to take you.
- Oh.
- I mean, or we could just blow it off.
- We could do something else.
- Yeah, no, I mean I'm-I'm going to the dance, uh, with Eric.
Okay.
Oh.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
We're kinda dating.
Just for, like, a few weeks now.
Yeah, cool.
You know, he's Eric's a good guy, so Yeah, that's cool.
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- Yeah.
- Shoot.
I gotta run.
- Yeah, me, too.
I'm really glad you're back.
Thanks.
Glad to be back.
- Bye.
- Bye.
What's up, man? [CLAY.]
And I don't say "get back to normal" because life will never be normal again.
Before we start, I am distrustful of religion.
Okay.
The service can be whatever you want it to be.
It's just my mother always told us we should abide, and have faith, accept what's coming to us.
And I think that teaches people to be passive.
I think abiding and acceptance is bullshit.
- Excuse my language.
- I don't disagree.
So tell me, w-why choose a church for Hannah's service? We, uh we both come from religious families, and it's something we drifted from a bit, and thought maybe it was something Hannah perhaps should have had in her life.
We were ashamed.
[SIGHS.]
We were ashamed to have a funeral.
Or a service.
But then, after everything that happened, if there is a God, I want Him to see that my little girl deserves His care.
He will.
He'll see that.
[MR.
BAKER.]
A few of the other places we called, [SIGHS.]
given the circumstances of Hannah's death Let me assure you there's no judgment from me.
Not regarding Hannah's decision or the circumstances that led her there.
And I hope one day you'll release yourselves from any shame you might still be feeling as well.
[CLAY.]
Life is divided into "Hannah" and "after Hannah.
" [CLAY.]
I don't have anything to compare it to.
I've lived here all my life.
It's like asking Han Solo, "How is space?" Wow.
You're an actual nerd, aren't you? I admire that.
There's courage in being a nerd.
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
["LOVELY" PLAYING.]
[CLAY.]
Memories are sometimes a relief.
And sometimes they're torture.
[HANNAH.]
I was right.
You're the most courageous nerd I ever knew.
They asked me to speak.
At your service.
Are you gonna do it? I don't know what to say.
Or if I can trust myself not to be angry.
So, be angry.
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone Or if I can say what I really need to say.
I think you can.
[CLAY.]
But we hold on to the memories [TATTOO MACHINE BUZZING.]
because they're what we have left.
You're doing great this time.
You can look now.
No more comma.
Thank you.
[CLAY.]
And we have an urge to remember, to commemorate another time, to hold on to this as long as we can.
The thing I'm most afraid of is forgetting you.
Then don't.
The thing I'm second most afraid of is I'll never be able to let you go.
Do you remember the winter dance? Not the slow dance, but that song where we jumped around like idiots and looked like fools.
Like absolute dorks.
Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Why? No reason.
I just wanted you to think of that right now.
Heart made of glass My mind of stone Tear me to pieces, skin to bone Hello, welcome home [CLAY.]
But today we begin to let go.
We're here to say goodbye to Hannah.
One act does not define a life.
We celebrate the richness of her life, even as the tragic circumstances of her death cannot be forgotten.
[ANDY.]
It does my heart good to see so many of Hannah's friends here today.
Hannah had the biggest heart, which she so generously shared with all of us.
So, please, be kind to each other.
She dreamed of going to New York to become a writer.
I'm not sure when that dream began to feel impossible to her.
Hannah was my dream.
And now I get to dream for Hannah as well as for myself.
And so do all of you.
So, please, dream your dreams.
And dream them for Hannah, and don't let anyone take them away from you.
Don't ever let them go.
Hannah Baker came into my life at the end of one summer like a star that fell to Earth.
Like nothing I had seen, like no one I had ever met.
She was funny, and smart, and moody, and and maddening, and beautiful.
And I loved her.
I loved her so much.
And I ask her every day why she did what she did.
But I get no answers.
She took those with her when she went.
Leaving me, all of us, angry, empty, confused.
And I know that hurt won't ever go away.
But there will come a day when I don't feel it every minute.
And the anger won't be so hot, and the other feelings will fade, and I'll be left with only love.
A good friend once said to me, "I can love you and still let you go.
" So, Hannah, I love you, and I let you go.
And I miss you.
And I hope that wherever you go next, you feel peace, you feel safe in a way that you never did here.
Wherever you go next, I hope you know that I love you.
[PEOPLE SNIFFLING, COUGHING.]
[BELL TOLLING.]
[CHATTER.]
Everything okay? Yeah.
No, I just, um - I was just taking a minute.
- Of course.
I'll leave you to it.
Can I ask you do you believe in the immortal soul? I do.
And do you think Hannah is going to hell because she killed herself? I don't.
I think the God I believe in, a just God, would have mercy on a soul like hers.
And if God forgives her, we should.
I believe we should follow His example, sure, but it's not always easy.
And do you think Does God forgive us? The people who let her down? I think He does.
Clay, you don't have to believe in the immortal soul to believe that people live on with us.
Wait, what do you mean? Just that we've lost Hannah, but not the things she gave us.
Compassion, understanding, love.
Those don't go away.
["THE HEALING" PLAYING.]
Calm down Let the world spin around There ain't no other place [CLAY.]
How do we take care of ourselves and look after each other? And celebrate Hannah's life and let it remind us to hold on to each other and to the precious time we have? Do you remember when we first met you? At that table over there? You thought we were crazy.
No.
I was just, like, terrified and amazed.
I mean, you guys were fearless.
I don't remember being fearless.
[CHUCKLES.]
This is, um This is really inappropriate at a wake, especially given the whole history, but I've been I've been trying for, like, two weeks now to get up the nerve to ask you, um if you would wanna go to the Spring Fling as, like, people who date? Because I think that we are now, but I'm not really sure.
Um [STAMMERS.]
I think we are.
Yeah? I mean, I'm not sure how ready I am to be a person who dates, but I mean, we are.
- So, yes.
- Yeah? - Yes.
[LAUGHS.]
- Okay.
Oh, God.
Is it okay that I asked you out at Hannah's table? Oh, it's all of our table.
And I think she'd be okay with it.
She'd probably make you interpret some weird painting.
Yeah, who picks the paintings? [ZACH.]
Yo, dude! [LAUGHS.]
Oh, my God, you're crushing me! [CHUCKLES.]
You're, like, down to nothing.
We gotta get you on a program.
Okay, sure.
How the fuck did Bryce only get three months and you got six? Aren't you pissed? I guess I just wasn't surprised.
Actually, I'm gonna take a gap year.
I'm going to Europe.
Which, I know, sounds like a cliché, but, honestly, Asia is the cliché.
I mean, I could be going to Goa, but I'm not.
I'm old school.
I've actually been thinking about doing some traveling myself.
Oh, my God, you should.
You so should.
[COURTNEY.]
It's annoying how smart she is.
I don't like it when people are smarter than me.
But it's fine because she's cute.
It's so nice that everyone came.
Maybe I should, uh, leave the two of you alone to catch up? Maybe you have some things to talk about.
Yes.
Yeah, there are.
Okay.
What What things? So, um [CLEARS THROAT.]
I think my mom explained to you how she got you released into emergency custody.
Yeah, she explained it.
The thing is that's only temporary.
And because you're not 18 for almost a year, once that expires, you become a ward of the state.
Yeah, the the social worker told me about that.
Okay, yeah.
And there's only two group homes in this county you'd be eligible for, and you couldn't finish school at Liberty and stuff.
And my parents I mean, me and my parents wanted to see if you might want them to adopt you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait, what? Like, adopt you into our family.
[STAMMERS.]
You mean, like, I'd be your brother? Well, I'm-I'm not familiar with all the lingo, but Wait.
Why are you asking me and not them? Because it was their idea, to be honest.
And at first, I thought it sounded, um idiotic.
And they left it up to me, seeing as I was the person who brought you in their life in the first place.
And maybe it's a good idea, so [JUSTIN CRYING.]
Are you - Are you crying? - [SNIFFLES.]
You know I'm, like, really fucked up, right? Well A, yes.
- [LAUGHS.]
- But you're clean and going to meetings.
And B, I'm also fucked up in certain ways, so Okay, yeah.
I'd like to be adopted, yeah.
Okay.
Cool.
[CLAY.]
Everything affects everything.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
Everyone affects everyone.
[CHATTER.]
[SIGHS.]
Fucking Tyler Down is back.
So? So, I wanna break his head open.
Yeah, that's a great idea at this particular time.
The field, the thing with Marcus He cost us our season.
We need to do something.
We are not gonna do a goddamn thing.
I'm on probation.
Right, I know.
I got you.
I'll take care of it.
Your father didn't beat you hard enough, 'cause you're still a fucking idiot.
The last time you tried to help, you almost fucked up my whole plea deal.
Well, none of it came back to you.
No one was gonna believe I didn't know about all the shit that you did.
I had to give you my goddamn lawyer.
I would've taken the fall if I had to.
I kept you clean.
What did you think would happen if you killed Clay Jensen in my car? I knew those kids could fuck everything up for us, and they did.
Well, you helped.
I Tell me what you want me to do.
- Okay? I'll make it right.
- I want you to leave it alone.
And leave me alone.
We're done.
[CYRUS.]
Mack said you guys had a good talk.
Yeah.
She's dating Eric now, huh? Yeah, that's cool.
You're okay, right? I mean, watching out for yourself? Those fucking jocks were not happy about the field and the season.
- Yeah.
I'll be careful.
- Good.
And you know about everything Yeah.
No, me, too.
Yeah.
- It got a little fucked up.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, totally.
Hey.
You know, being away, it was really good.
And I realized a lot of shit, so - You know.
- That's good, man.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- So, we're all right? Yeah, for sure.
- Cool.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah.
Hey, maybe we could catch another show sometime.
I don't know, man.
I I don't think so.
But it's great to see that you're back and doing so well.
Yeah.
Thanks, man.
I mean, how are you even not crazy? I just [GROANS.]
It's insane, but it's, like, not a surprise, I guess.
And I-I just feel this peace that it's over.
So, it's over? No trial, no more legal stuff? Done? Done.
And I'm good.
Oh, what a fine parade Ready or not, call your name Hey, now, where do I go? [JUSTIN SIGHS.]
You gonna go to this dance? What, the Spring Fling thing? - Why in the world would I go to that? - I don't know.
It It might be fun? I don't go to dances.
You can go.
No.
I just thought that it'd be my first thing back and I could show people that I'm not, like, hiding or whatever.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
Forget it.
Fuck.
Fine.
[SCOFFS.]
We'll go.
[CHUCKLES.]
I just thought since I hadn't heard from you after I told you about Lucas Yeah, I left you three messages.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, and they didn't sound like you really wanted me to call back.
Okay, okay.
Seriously? I think you're used to people chasing you.
And you're used to getting away.
Maybe.
Well, you're not getting away.
I should be on my way.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for for having us.
I saw the store's for lease.
I'm moving to New York.
It was always Hannah's dream.
She never made it, so I'll get there for her.
I I wasn't sure if I should share this with you, but after hearing what you said, I think I think it's all right.
I found it on one of the old computers when I was cleaning up the store.
Hannah wrote it.
"Reasons why not.
" You're on there.
At least once, possibly twice.
Did did she call you "Helmet"? [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, she did.
Eleven reasons.
She came up just short.
But she left so many out.
You know that, don't you? No matter how many reasons there might be "why," there are always more "why not.
" I do.
I wish I knew you when she was alive.
I wish you'd known me then, too.
Well bye.
Bye.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Why the fuck did you come back? I finished my program.
Yeah, you fucked up a lot of shit.
I'm sorry about everything.
- If I hurt you in any way - They canceled our fucking season.
I was acting out of a lot of anger and confusion.
- Oh, yeah? - And I'm going to do better.
And I hope that we can learn to talk to each other [GRUNTING.]
God! You ruined my fucking life, faggot! Get up! - [WATER BUBBLING.]
- [GROANING.]
[GASPS.]
I'm sorry! Please, I'm sorry! Hold him! [GASPING.]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[GROANS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[SHRIEKS.]
[PANTING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[CLAY.]
We can get better.
We can do better.
But we still live in a world that is out to break us any way it can.
- Yo, so how's the car? - It's getting pretty close.
I've been working on it every hour I'm not in school and some when I should be in school.
[CHUCKLES.]
It was a beautiful car.
Hey, why don't we go to your place? - All right? - I think your place is closer.
I'm in the opposite direction.
- You don't want me to meet your family.
- It's not that.
I just need some time.
All right.
I'll see you tomorrow? Um, you know, I got some bullshit I gotta take care of.
Oh, some bullshit, like a dance? Yeah, Alex and Jess are going.
It's like a thing.
- Yeah, you see, that's bullshit.
- [LAUGHS.]
And I didn't wanna subject you to it, so I appreciate that.
[CHUCKLES.]
- You'll come by after? - Yes.
[ALEX.]
And my mom got me some game that's about being a flower or some shit.
- [LAUGHS.]
- I'm serious.
[CHUCKLES.]
But I talked my dad into driving since he won't let me drive for real yet.
- Excellent use of guilt, sir.
- Yeah, I thought so.
I beat off three times this morning.
I don't wanna know that.
Why would you tell me? 'Cause I thought you'd be happy for me.
Actually, I-I'm very happy for you.
That's, uh, impressive.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I'm worried about dancing with Jess.
Like, I-I don't wanna go to the dance and just sit there, 'cause that's stupid.
And it doesn't get me closer to kissing her.
So I wanna dance with her, but I think I'll just fall over.
No, just, um, lean on her.
What, like, a middle school slow dance? That's so dumb.
No.
Just, you know, like, let her help.
Make it seem smooth.
Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
You know, I am sick of your "poor-me" attitude.
- [CAR SCREECHES, CRASHES.]
- This one's easy.
Come on, get up.
No.
This is embarrassing.
This is embarrassing? - Yeah.
- Yeah, okay, you've done worse.
Come on, put the controller down.
Let's go.
Come on.
[GRUNTS.]
I have to school you - Okay.
- My mom made me do some dance Don't Never mind.
Don't even worry about that.
So, good hand on her waist.
- Left hand on her hip.
- Yeah.
She'll hold it and just lean into her.
- Okay? - What about? Just try stepping.
There you go.
All the way in there.
Yeah.
See? The song will have to be pretty slow, shouldn't it? [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
So, it turns out the sushi place doesn't in fact deliver, so my dad and I are gonna pick it up.
You wanna come? Nah, I'm I'm good here.
These are kind of addictive.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, right? You okay? You seem weird.
I think, maybe I'm happy.
Oh.
Cool.
Running around Is it really this fun When you're on my mind? Is it really this cool To be in your life? There's one thing I'll do If it ever goes wrong I'll write you into all of my songs And if suddenly I die I hope they will say That he was obsessed And it was okay 'Cause we're going downtown And we feel like running around And I'm going crazy Crazy for you Well? How was the first day back? Good.
It was good.
It was, um like, I had to adjust to everything, but it was great.
Yeah, there's a new guidance counselor, and she's totally smart, so - I think it's gonna work, Mom.
- That's great.
Oh, that's so great, Tyler.
Oh.
We are so proud of you.
[GROANS.]
[PANTS.]
[CRYING.]
Now bring that around to the right.
No, no, no, the big end.
- The big end.
- That's what I'm doing.
That's not what you're doing.
Oh, my God, start over.
- [SCOFFS.]
Would you fucking relax? - You You don't listen! You are so uptight.
I am not uptight.
It was your idea that we should wear ties.
It's not even a formal dance.
And if you wanna wear a tie, you should follow my instructions.
We really need to get you laid.
Shut up.
Start over.
Seriously, Jensen.
Okay? You help me tie a tie, I will help you get laid.
I don't need your help.
I I know.
I was just I was just saying.
I mean, you've had, like, a lot of sex, haven't you? Yeah, I've I've had a good amount.
Oh, I can't sleep at night Every second counts [CLAY.]
So, how do we survive? How do we bring light to a world that seems only dark? This is the first dance I haven't DJ'd in two years.
So now you get to dance.
Dude, people become DJs so they don't have to dance.
I thought it was because you had great taste in music.
That's just my gift to the world.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
Good evening.
[LAUGHS.]
Good evening.
Did Did you do this? I got him a guest pass.
Apparently, you forgot to.
I didn't go to dances when I was in school because I felt so awkward dancing with girls.
It may seem like high school bullshit to you, but to me, it's finally being able to dance with my boyfriend.
If he will.
Of course I will.
- After bitching about the DJ.
- [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, me, too.
[CHATTERING.]
[ALEX.]
Hey.
Hey.
You guys look good.
Thanks.
Yeah, I bedazzled the cane, so I didn't, really.
Well, if we have to do this, let's do it.
Okay.
All right.
- You ready? - Yep.
All right.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm living inside my head I'm living inside my head - Tony.
Caleb.
Hey! - Hey, what's up? - Hi.
This is Tamika.
- Hey, Tamika.
- Hi, Tamika.
- Hi.
She's my girlfriend.
- [GASPS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Oh.
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
Light it up just like a flashlight Let it shine You sure you don't wanna sit down? No, I don't wanna sit.
I wanna dance.
I just need to work up to it.
- You want a drink? - You know they're non-alcoholic.
Yeah, but any chance for sugar.
It feels good to be Running from the devil Another breath You would've been really good for Hannah.
I'm just saying.
Yeah? You know, if I didn't fuck it up like I fuck up everything else.
Dude, you do not wanna be having that contest with me.
["ROLLERCOASTER" PLAYING.]
I'm really sorry you couldn't talk to me.
Come on.
We gotta go in for this one! Okay, but it's full contact.
This dance desperately needs it.
- Yeah! - Fuck this.
Let's go.
Jensen, come on.
Are you about kicking ass or are you not? I'm It was summer when I saw your face I am.
I totally am.
Some killer queen you are Hey, come on.
If Jeff Atkins were here, he'd say, "Get your asses up and come on.
" Guys, come on! Come on! So come a little closer There is something I can tell ya You are such a rollercoaster And a killer queen you are [CLAY.]
How can we find joy in our lives in this world after Hannah? Come a little closer Why don't you come a little closer? Why don't you come a little closer? There's something I can tell ya Compared to them, I look all right.
Some killer queen you are Rollercoaster, I don't say no [CLAY.]
How do we take what hurts most? Take the darkness and turn it into light? Rollercoaster, I don't say no Rollercoaster, when you don't say no [CLAY.]
I think the answer is we love each other.
Some killer queen you are [CLAY.]
Easy to say.
But what do we do when it's hard to love? She thinks I've got a heart of stone Because I left her all alone Lonely tonight She thinks I'm gonna break her heart You want a real drink? No, thanks.
I'm good.
I don't have those emotions in me - [BRYCE.]
Brings back memories, huh? - I heard you were transferring.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna start over.
Lucky you.
I'm gonna miss this.
All of it.
You remember freshman year? The night before our first day, you stayed over.
We stayed up talking about how we were gonna be kings of this fucking school.
Yeah, I remember.
I'll always remember.
Me, too, brother.
[CLAY.]
Justin.
- You okay? - [BRYCE.]
He's fine.
I can't touch him.
Or you, or I go to jail.
Funny.
I don't have that problem.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're a good kid, Clay.
You need to get laid, but you're a good kid.
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
You all right? Yeah, I just I'm gonna go use the bathroom for a quick minute, okay? I'll I'll be right back.
My kind of love, my kind of love It's a deeper love, it's a darker love My kind of love My kind of love, my kind of love It's a deeper love, it's a darker love And I know I can hold you Like he does I don't have those emotions in me And it's true I can love you Like he does [BLINKER TICKING.]
My kind of love, my kind of love - [CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah.
- Whoo! - [PHOTOGRAPHER.]
One more, guys.
I can't My kind of love, my kind of love ["THE NIGHT WE MET" PLAYING.]
Oh, shit.
I gotta find Clay.
I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching For a trail to follow Again, take me back To the night we met I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met [JESSICA.]
What are you doing alone in the dark? It's creepy.
I'm not alone anymore, am I? What's with these mats? They must have had a wrestling meet yesterday.
Wait, we have a wrestling team? - You were a cheerleader.
- Not for the wrestling team.
And I was a shitty cheerleader.
Yeah, you were.
- What? You said it.
- Still.
You look beautiful.
Sorry.
- For saying I look beautiful? - Yes.
So you're, like, living with Clay for real now, huh? Yeah.
They're adopting me.
Which, like, why anyone would wanna do that, I don't know.
I do.
Do you ever think about it? Doing what Hannah did? No.
I don't.
With everything that happened, I I never thought that was a way to go.
I've had some shitty days.
But - I always wanted to live.
- Yeah.
- I wanted to be alive.
- I know.
I wanna hold you When I'm not supposed to When I'm lying Close to someone else You're stuck in my head And I can't get you out of it I would do it all again I know I'd go back to you I'll go back to you - I'll go back to you - I'll go, I'll go back to you I'll go back to you I'll go back to you Cy, you better look at this.
I just got this text.
Jesus, Mack.
We can't let him do this.
We have to stop him.
We need to get out of here.
We need to call the cops.
- Agreed.
- If we do, his life is over.
His life is over either way.
He's either going to jail or he's dead.
Tyler doesn't wanna die.
I know he doesn't.
Where's Tony? - What's going on, guys? - Have you seen Jess? [TOILET FLUSHING.]
- Jess - Don't.
- Please? - What? What do you want? - I don't know what to do.
- Really? - You don't know what to do? - Jess, I'm pregnant.
[CLAY.]
The next time someone is in desperate need and they're about to make a terrible mistake, what do we do? Justin, find Jessica.
Get everyone you can.
Lock the doors, stay inside.
And don't call the police.
I gotta find Tony.
What the fuck? Clay! [CLAY.]
Do we look the other way? Do we just protect ourselves or do we help them? Do we do whatever we can to save them? I think I know what Hannah would want us to do.
Tyler! Tyler, what are you what are you doing? [TRUNK CLOSES.]
Get out of here, Clay.
Go home.
No.
No, I Don't Don't do this, Tyler.
You need to leave right now.
[STAMMERS.]
Tyler, please, listen to me.
You don't wanna do this.
I I know you don't.
You don't fucking know anything about me.
No.
No, I do.
I do know because I hurt, too.
I'm pissed off.
I didn't realize how bad it was for you.
And I'm sorry that I didn't.
- [JUSTIN.]
Clay! - I should've Hey, g-go back inside.
- Jesus, Clay! - Go inside! Get out of my fucking way.
Tyler, please.
Don't do it.
- I have to.
- No, you don't have to.
You can turn around.
- You can go home.
- [POLICE SIREN WAILING.]
Everybody knows already.
The only people that know are people who know you, and they wanna help you.
- Bullshit.
- No, look.
[STAMMERS.]
Tyler, they know you're hurting, we all are.
And I don't know what to do about it, either.
Okay? I tried hurting other people.
I tried hurting you, and it didn't fucking help, man.
It doesn't do any good.
Listen to me.
It doesn't! [SIRENS APPROACHING.]
Tyler, listen.
You don't get out of this alive.
And I don't want you to die.
I-I don't want you to die.
If you think this is the way, if you really think this'll change a goddamn thing and not just be another fucking tragedy that adults cry about for a week and then forget, if you really think this is gonna be different, then do what you gotta do.
Come on, Tyler.
Please? There's nothing else I can do.
There is.
We'll figure it out.
Okay? I swear.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
- What the fuck? - That's Tony.
It's okay.
It's Tony.
We're gonna go.
Get in the car! Let me help you.
Come on.
It's okay.
Fuck.
Go, come on.
Come on.
Get in the car.
[TIRES SQUEALING.]
[JESSICA.]
Clay! Clay! - Fuck.
- [JESSICA.]
Are you okay? No.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
This is fucked up, right? Yeah.
Give me love, give me hope - What do we do now? - Give me strength Give me someone to live for [MAN.]
For help finding crisis resources, visit 13reasonswhy.
info.
That I need to survive? Who will be the life blood Coursing through my veins? Like a river flowing That will never change I need someone I can depend on - Won't you give me love? - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me straight Give me someone to live for - Give me love - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me strength Give me someone to live for I need it now I need it now Someone write me a letter I need to know that I'm still alive Someone give me a telephone call I need to hear a human sound Someone open up a door And let me out of this place I've been caged up for, oh, so long I don't know if I'm living or dying - Someone better give me love - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me strength Give me someone to live for - Give me love - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me strength Give me someone to live for - Give me love - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me strength
[CLAY.]
I thought a long, long time about what to say today.
How to pay tribute, but also tell the truth.
It truly hurts me to think that my actions have caused anyone emotional distress.
When I think of the pain that I may have caused, I-I just Well, I feel awful.
Every day, I wish that I could go back in time.
I was used to a certain culture of partying and hookups, and many of us never questioned it, but it is time to question it.
And I know that I need to be the one to set an example.
I'm I'm trying every day to be a better man, to be the man that my parents raised me to be.
And to be a positive influence at Liberty High.
It is my sincerest hope that you will allow me to do so.
Thank you, sir.
- Does the county accept the allocution? - We do, Your Honor.
Prior to sentencing, the victim would like to exercise her right to make her own statement.
Proceed.
[CLAY.]
I have to admit, when I was asked to speak today, I didn't want to.
To stand up in front of all these people.
But it's what Hannah deserves.
Your Honor, thank you for this opportunity to address the court.
If it's all right, for the first part of my statement, I'd like to address the defendant directly.
- [JUDGE.]
Go right ahead.
- Why not? The first weekend in September, my parents were out of town and my little brothers were at their grandparents'.
I wanted to host a party like I thought a popular cheerleader should.
My boyfriend was there.
Your friend Justin.
We had been drinking.
We decided to go up to my room.
I remember making out with him.
And then I [INHALES.]
And then I started to fall asleep or or pass out.
I just I remember thinking that I just needed to close my eyes for a few minutes.
Then he Then he walked out of the room.
And then I remember waking up to you pulling off my underwear.
I remember feeling you push yourself inside of me.
[SNIFFLES.]
I may not remember all of the details, but I will never forget the sheer terror of feeling your weight on top of me, of not being able to breathe.
When I opened my eyes, I was alone in the hot tub with him, and there was The way he looked at me, there was something in his eyes.
And I was afraid.
I wanted to slow down, but he told me not to be a tease.
And he pushed me down on the couch and said he was glad I had waited for him.
And then he pulled off my jeans and then my underwear.
And he said that if I showed my body better, people wouldn't think I was a lesbian.
He used a different word.
And then he grabbed me on the inside of my thigh.
At that moment, we were left alone, and he picked me up.
He just picked me up and carried me behind the fence.
And he lay down on top of me and started to take my pants off.
I fought and I fought, but he was 18 and I was 12.
I found out later this guard had a reputation.
When he got up from my bed and left, my roommate rolled over and told me it happened to most of the girls.
I was a second-year associate.
He invited me to a strategy meeting in his hotel room.
He answered the door in his bathrobe.
I spent the evening insisting we work on the case.
At the end of that year, I was let go.
I had been babysitting for this family for, I guess, two years.
He was my youth pastor.
My second cousin.
Your Honor, when we leave this courtroom, Bryce Walker gets to leave convinced that he chose the wrong girl to have sex with.
I get to leave constantly looking over my shoulder for monsters dressed up as the popular kid, constantly on edge and assuming the worst in every boy.
The sentence you decide today can tell Bryce Walker what he did was wrong.
It can say that to every boy, every man who behaves like he does.
And it can say to victims like me that our story matters.
Thank you.
Prosecution has put forth a sentencing recommendation.
Does the defense have anything to contribute? Your Honor, this is a terribly unfortunate event.
And two young lives have been changed forever.
Bryce has lost all his scholarship offers.
The school district has cancelled what might well have been a championship season.
There is regret on all sides.
We urge the court to let these two young people start rebuilding and return to their lives.
This is a tragedy all around.
As a judge, it's my role to look at both sides.
And California law requires every judge to consider rehabilitation and probation for first-time offenders.
I'd like to see these two young people look hard at their lives and their choices.
But I don't want to do any further damage.
Mr.
Walker I expect you to walk the straight and narrow.
I'm sentencing you to three months probation.
So ordered.
- [GAVEL POUNDS.]
- Your Honor, three months probation? - [JUDGE.]
That's all.
- [GAVEL POUNDS.]
[CLAY.]
I'm angry.
I'm sad.
And I still have no idea how what happened happened.
Talk to me about the sex doll that was found at Ms.
Davis' home.
Or the dead rat that was inside Mr.
Dempsey's locker.
The vandalism to Mr.
Padilla's car.
This is bullshit.
What about the shooting target you sent my son? I didn't do any of that.
We have several kids who say he intimidated witnesses, engaged in felony vandalism.
Everyone's saying all kinds of shit, but it's not true.
Where's the gun? I never touched a gun in my life.
Your Honor, Bryce Walker was released on bail within hours of his arrest, and Justin has been stranded in juvenile detention for almost a month.
[JUDGE.]
I'm aware of the timeline.
The related case is complete as of today.
Justin's plea is in, the paperwork is done.
Understood, Counselor, but as a minor, he has to be released into custody.
We have been searching for Amber Foley for weeks, Your Honor.
- She's nowhere to be found.
- Keep looking.
Until then, he's remanded.
Bailiff? [DOOR OPENS.]
Hang on, Justin.
We're working on it.
I know.
Thank you.
[CLAY.]
We're still learning all the ways we've been changed.
All the things we've lost.
I'm so fucking sorry.
It's insane.
But somehow I still feel stronger.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Wait, where's Justin? They'll only release him to a guardian, and the judge won't move on it.
We've filed emergency papers, but it's a 24-hour minimum.
I'll take the petition to Purdy.
He owes us.
Do you wanna start on the order for the school? Yeah.
We're asking for a court order to force the school to protect you.
To keep him away from you.
Thank you.
Mom, is your firm I mean, are they cool with this? I've left the firm to work with Dennis on cases like this.
Oh, that's That's cool.
[BRYCE SIGHS.]
[CLAY.]
We're just starting to figure out how to go on with our lives.
Coach said we could leave our lockers till the end of the year.
I'm transferring.
To Hillcrest.
Hillcrest? You got the grades for that? Not exactly.
Well, private schools need fields, too, I guess.
Yeah.
And uniforms and all that shit.
- [BAG ZIPS.]
- Speaking of which not all of my credits transferred, so I'll be going in as a junior.
Which means I'll see you on the field this fall.
They're letting you play football? That's right.
See you at the dance.
Wait.
So, you and Chloe? Yeah.
Loyalty.
It's a thing, huh? Take care of yourself, Zachy.
[CLAY.]
I say "go on" and not "move on" because in some ways we'll never completely move on from what happened.
Your meeting with the district psychologist went well and the reports from your diversion program are excellent.
It was a good program.
Tell me why.
Um, well, at first, it was very difficult.
You know, the long hikes and the camping.
But after a few days, with everything else stripped away, you're just left to your thoughts and you learn things.
And what did you learn? That I can choose how I respond to things.
That even if I am feeling angry, or lonely, or whatever, that I'm in control of my own actions.
I can't control what other people do, but I can control my response.
Do you think you're ready to come back? Do you think things will be different? Yeah, I think so.
I'm ready.
Principal Bolan is concerned that we keep a very close eye on you.
I understand.
And your return won't be easy.
No, I know.
[CHATTER.]
Hey.
Hi! Hi.
[GIGGLES.]
Hey.
- You're back! - I am.
- Wow.
You look good.
- Thanks.
Yeah, apparently, natural sunlight and physical exercise are, like, good for us or something.
- Something.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Something.
The good news is that I'm back in time for the Spring Fling.
And I was determined to make it back in time to take you.
- Oh.
- I mean, or we could just blow it off.
- We could do something else.
- Yeah, no, I mean I'm-I'm going to the dance, uh, with Eric.
Okay.
Oh.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
We're kinda dating.
Just for, like, a few weeks now.
Yeah, cool.
You know, he's Eric's a good guy, so Yeah, that's cool.
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- Yeah.
- Shoot.
I gotta run.
- Yeah, me, too.
I'm really glad you're back.
Thanks.
Glad to be back.
- Bye.
- Bye.
What's up, man? [CLAY.]
And I don't say "get back to normal" because life will never be normal again.
Before we start, I am distrustful of religion.
Okay.
The service can be whatever you want it to be.
It's just my mother always told us we should abide, and have faith, accept what's coming to us.
And I think that teaches people to be passive.
I think abiding and acceptance is bullshit.
- Excuse my language.
- I don't disagree.
So tell me, w-why choose a church for Hannah's service? We, uh we both come from religious families, and it's something we drifted from a bit, and thought maybe it was something Hannah perhaps should have had in her life.
We were ashamed.
[SIGHS.]
We were ashamed to have a funeral.
Or a service.
But then, after everything that happened, if there is a God, I want Him to see that my little girl deserves His care.
He will.
He'll see that.
[MR.
BAKER.]
A few of the other places we called, [SIGHS.]
given the circumstances of Hannah's death Let me assure you there's no judgment from me.
Not regarding Hannah's decision or the circumstances that led her there.
And I hope one day you'll release yourselves from any shame you might still be feeling as well.
[CLAY.]
Life is divided into "Hannah" and "after Hannah.
" [CLAY.]
I don't have anything to compare it to.
I've lived here all my life.
It's like asking Han Solo, "How is space?" Wow.
You're an actual nerd, aren't you? I admire that.
There's courage in being a nerd.
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
["LOVELY" PLAYING.]
[CLAY.]
Memories are sometimes a relief.
And sometimes they're torture.
[HANNAH.]
I was right.
You're the most courageous nerd I ever knew.
They asked me to speak.
At your service.
Are you gonna do it? I don't know what to say.
Or if I can trust myself not to be angry.
So, be angry.
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone Or if I can say what I really need to say.
I think you can.
[CLAY.]
But we hold on to the memories [TATTOO MACHINE BUZZING.]
because they're what we have left.
You're doing great this time.
You can look now.
No more comma.
Thank you.
[CLAY.]
And we have an urge to remember, to commemorate another time, to hold on to this as long as we can.
The thing I'm most afraid of is forgetting you.
Then don't.
The thing I'm second most afraid of is I'll never be able to let you go.
Do you remember the winter dance? Not the slow dance, but that song where we jumped around like idiots and looked like fools.
Like absolute dorks.
Yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Why? No reason.
I just wanted you to think of that right now.
Heart made of glass My mind of stone Tear me to pieces, skin to bone Hello, welcome home [CLAY.]
But today we begin to let go.
We're here to say goodbye to Hannah.
One act does not define a life.
We celebrate the richness of her life, even as the tragic circumstances of her death cannot be forgotten.
[ANDY.]
It does my heart good to see so many of Hannah's friends here today.
Hannah had the biggest heart, which she so generously shared with all of us.
So, please, be kind to each other.
She dreamed of going to New York to become a writer.
I'm not sure when that dream began to feel impossible to her.
Hannah was my dream.
And now I get to dream for Hannah as well as for myself.
And so do all of you.
So, please, dream your dreams.
And dream them for Hannah, and don't let anyone take them away from you.
Don't ever let them go.
Hannah Baker came into my life at the end of one summer like a star that fell to Earth.
Like nothing I had seen, like no one I had ever met.
She was funny, and smart, and moody, and and maddening, and beautiful.
And I loved her.
I loved her so much.
And I ask her every day why she did what she did.
But I get no answers.
She took those with her when she went.
Leaving me, all of us, angry, empty, confused.
And I know that hurt won't ever go away.
But there will come a day when I don't feel it every minute.
And the anger won't be so hot, and the other feelings will fade, and I'll be left with only love.
A good friend once said to me, "I can love you and still let you go.
" So, Hannah, I love you, and I let you go.
And I miss you.
And I hope that wherever you go next, you feel peace, you feel safe in a way that you never did here.
Wherever you go next, I hope you know that I love you.
[PEOPLE SNIFFLING, COUGHING.]
[BELL TOLLING.]
[CHATTER.]
Everything okay? Yeah.
No, I just, um - I was just taking a minute.
- Of course.
I'll leave you to it.
Can I ask you do you believe in the immortal soul? I do.
And do you think Hannah is going to hell because she killed herself? I don't.
I think the God I believe in, a just God, would have mercy on a soul like hers.
And if God forgives her, we should.
I believe we should follow His example, sure, but it's not always easy.
And do you think Does God forgive us? The people who let her down? I think He does.
Clay, you don't have to believe in the immortal soul to believe that people live on with us.
Wait, what do you mean? Just that we've lost Hannah, but not the things she gave us.
Compassion, understanding, love.
Those don't go away.
["THE HEALING" PLAYING.]
Calm down Let the world spin around There ain't no other place [CLAY.]
How do we take care of ourselves and look after each other? And celebrate Hannah's life and let it remind us to hold on to each other and to the precious time we have? Do you remember when we first met you? At that table over there? You thought we were crazy.
No.
I was just, like, terrified and amazed.
I mean, you guys were fearless.
I don't remember being fearless.
[CHUCKLES.]
This is, um This is really inappropriate at a wake, especially given the whole history, but I've been I've been trying for, like, two weeks now to get up the nerve to ask you, um if you would wanna go to the Spring Fling as, like, people who date? Because I think that we are now, but I'm not really sure.
Um [STAMMERS.]
I think we are.
Yeah? I mean, I'm not sure how ready I am to be a person who dates, but I mean, we are.
- So, yes.
- Yeah? - Yes.
[LAUGHS.]
- Okay.
Oh, God.
Is it okay that I asked you out at Hannah's table? Oh, it's all of our table.
And I think she'd be okay with it.
She'd probably make you interpret some weird painting.
Yeah, who picks the paintings? [ZACH.]
Yo, dude! [LAUGHS.]
Oh, my God, you're crushing me! [CHUCKLES.]
You're, like, down to nothing.
We gotta get you on a program.
Okay, sure.
How the fuck did Bryce only get three months and you got six? Aren't you pissed? I guess I just wasn't surprised.
Actually, I'm gonna take a gap year.
I'm going to Europe.
Which, I know, sounds like a cliché, but, honestly, Asia is the cliché.
I mean, I could be going to Goa, but I'm not.
I'm old school.
I've actually been thinking about doing some traveling myself.
Oh, my God, you should.
You so should.
[COURTNEY.]
It's annoying how smart she is.
I don't like it when people are smarter than me.
But it's fine because she's cute.
It's so nice that everyone came.
Maybe I should, uh, leave the two of you alone to catch up? Maybe you have some things to talk about.
Yes.
Yeah, there are.
Okay.
What What things? So, um [CLEARS THROAT.]
I think my mom explained to you how she got you released into emergency custody.
Yeah, she explained it.
The thing is that's only temporary.
And because you're not 18 for almost a year, once that expires, you become a ward of the state.
Yeah, the the social worker told me about that.
Okay, yeah.
And there's only two group homes in this county you'd be eligible for, and you couldn't finish school at Liberty and stuff.
And my parents I mean, me and my parents wanted to see if you might want them to adopt you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait, what? Like, adopt you into our family.
[STAMMERS.]
You mean, like, I'd be your brother? Well, I'm-I'm not familiar with all the lingo, but Wait.
Why are you asking me and not them? Because it was their idea, to be honest.
And at first, I thought it sounded, um idiotic.
And they left it up to me, seeing as I was the person who brought you in their life in the first place.
And maybe it's a good idea, so [JUSTIN CRYING.]
Are you - Are you crying? - [SNIFFLES.]
You know I'm, like, really fucked up, right? Well A, yes.
- [LAUGHS.]
- But you're clean and going to meetings.
And B, I'm also fucked up in certain ways, so Okay, yeah.
I'd like to be adopted, yeah.
Okay.
Cool.
[CLAY.]
Everything affects everything.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
Everyone affects everyone.
[CHATTER.]
[SIGHS.]
Fucking Tyler Down is back.
So? So, I wanna break his head open.
Yeah, that's a great idea at this particular time.
The field, the thing with Marcus He cost us our season.
We need to do something.
We are not gonna do a goddamn thing.
I'm on probation.
Right, I know.
I got you.
I'll take care of it.
Your father didn't beat you hard enough, 'cause you're still a fucking idiot.
The last time you tried to help, you almost fucked up my whole plea deal.
Well, none of it came back to you.
No one was gonna believe I didn't know about all the shit that you did.
I had to give you my goddamn lawyer.
I would've taken the fall if I had to.
I kept you clean.
What did you think would happen if you killed Clay Jensen in my car? I knew those kids could fuck everything up for us, and they did.
Well, you helped.
I Tell me what you want me to do.
- Okay? I'll make it right.
- I want you to leave it alone.
And leave me alone.
We're done.
[CYRUS.]
Mack said you guys had a good talk.
Yeah.
She's dating Eric now, huh? Yeah, that's cool.
You're okay, right? I mean, watching out for yourself? Those fucking jocks were not happy about the field and the season.
- Yeah.
I'll be careful.
- Good.
And you know about everything Yeah.
No, me, too.
Yeah.
- It got a little fucked up.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, totally.
Hey.
You know, being away, it was really good.
And I realized a lot of shit, so - You know.
- That's good, man.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- So, we're all right? Yeah, for sure.
- Cool.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah.
Hey, maybe we could catch another show sometime.
I don't know, man.
I I don't think so.
But it's great to see that you're back and doing so well.
Yeah.
Thanks, man.
I mean, how are you even not crazy? I just [GROANS.]
It's insane, but it's, like, not a surprise, I guess.
And I-I just feel this peace that it's over.
So, it's over? No trial, no more legal stuff? Done? Done.
And I'm good.
Oh, what a fine parade Ready or not, call your name Hey, now, where do I go? [JUSTIN SIGHS.]
You gonna go to this dance? What, the Spring Fling thing? - Why in the world would I go to that? - I don't know.
It It might be fun? I don't go to dances.
You can go.
No.
I just thought that it'd be my first thing back and I could show people that I'm not, like, hiding or whatever.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
Forget it.
Fuck.
Fine.
[SCOFFS.]
We'll go.
[CHUCKLES.]
I just thought since I hadn't heard from you after I told you about Lucas Yeah, I left you three messages.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, and they didn't sound like you really wanted me to call back.
Okay, okay.
Seriously? I think you're used to people chasing you.
And you're used to getting away.
Maybe.
Well, you're not getting away.
I should be on my way.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for for having us.
I saw the store's for lease.
I'm moving to New York.
It was always Hannah's dream.
She never made it, so I'll get there for her.
I I wasn't sure if I should share this with you, but after hearing what you said, I think I think it's all right.
I found it on one of the old computers when I was cleaning up the store.
Hannah wrote it.
"Reasons why not.
" You're on there.
At least once, possibly twice.
Did did she call you "Helmet"? [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, she did.
Eleven reasons.
She came up just short.
But she left so many out.
You know that, don't you? No matter how many reasons there might be "why," there are always more "why not.
" I do.
I wish I knew you when she was alive.
I wish you'd known me then, too.
Well bye.
Bye.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Why the fuck did you come back? I finished my program.
Yeah, you fucked up a lot of shit.
I'm sorry about everything.
- If I hurt you in any way - They canceled our fucking season.
I was acting out of a lot of anger and confusion.
- Oh, yeah? - And I'm going to do better.
And I hope that we can learn to talk to each other [GRUNTING.]
God! You ruined my fucking life, faggot! Get up! - [WATER BUBBLING.]
- [GROANING.]
[GASPS.]
I'm sorry! Please, I'm sorry! Hold him! [GASPING.]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[GROANS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[SHRIEKS.]
[PANTING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[CLAY.]
We can get better.
We can do better.
But we still live in a world that is out to break us any way it can.
- Yo, so how's the car? - It's getting pretty close.
I've been working on it every hour I'm not in school and some when I should be in school.
[CHUCKLES.]
It was a beautiful car.
Hey, why don't we go to your place? - All right? - I think your place is closer.
I'm in the opposite direction.
- You don't want me to meet your family.
- It's not that.
I just need some time.
All right.
I'll see you tomorrow? Um, you know, I got some bullshit I gotta take care of.
Oh, some bullshit, like a dance? Yeah, Alex and Jess are going.
It's like a thing.
- Yeah, you see, that's bullshit.
- [LAUGHS.]
And I didn't wanna subject you to it, so I appreciate that.
[CHUCKLES.]
- You'll come by after? - Yes.
[ALEX.]
And my mom got me some game that's about being a flower or some shit.
- [LAUGHS.]
- I'm serious.
[CHUCKLES.]
But I talked my dad into driving since he won't let me drive for real yet.
- Excellent use of guilt, sir.
- Yeah, I thought so.
I beat off three times this morning.
I don't wanna know that.
Why would you tell me? 'Cause I thought you'd be happy for me.
Actually, I-I'm very happy for you.
That's, uh, impressive.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I'm worried about dancing with Jess.
Like, I-I don't wanna go to the dance and just sit there, 'cause that's stupid.
And it doesn't get me closer to kissing her.
So I wanna dance with her, but I think I'll just fall over.
No, just, um, lean on her.
What, like, a middle school slow dance? That's so dumb.
No.
Just, you know, like, let her help.
Make it seem smooth.
Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
You know, I am sick of your "poor-me" attitude.
- [CAR SCREECHES, CRASHES.]
- This one's easy.
Come on, get up.
No.
This is embarrassing.
This is embarrassing? - Yeah.
- Yeah, okay, you've done worse.
Come on, put the controller down.
Let's go.
Come on.
[GRUNTS.]
I have to school you - Okay.
- My mom made me do some dance Don't Never mind.
Don't even worry about that.
So, good hand on her waist.
- Left hand on her hip.
- Yeah.
She'll hold it and just lean into her.
- Okay? - What about? Just try stepping.
There you go.
All the way in there.
Yeah.
See? The song will have to be pretty slow, shouldn't it? [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
So, it turns out the sushi place doesn't in fact deliver, so my dad and I are gonna pick it up.
You wanna come? Nah, I'm I'm good here.
These are kind of addictive.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, right? You okay? You seem weird.
I think, maybe I'm happy.
Oh.
Cool.
Running around Is it really this fun When you're on my mind? Is it really this cool To be in your life? There's one thing I'll do If it ever goes wrong I'll write you into all of my songs And if suddenly I die I hope they will say That he was obsessed And it was okay 'Cause we're going downtown And we feel like running around And I'm going crazy Crazy for you Well? How was the first day back? Good.
It was good.
It was, um like, I had to adjust to everything, but it was great.
Yeah, there's a new guidance counselor, and she's totally smart, so - I think it's gonna work, Mom.
- That's great.
Oh, that's so great, Tyler.
Oh.
We are so proud of you.
[GROANS.]
[PANTS.]
[CRYING.]
Now bring that around to the right.
No, no, no, the big end.
- The big end.
- That's what I'm doing.
That's not what you're doing.
Oh, my God, start over.
- [SCOFFS.]
Would you fucking relax? - You You don't listen! You are so uptight.
I am not uptight.
It was your idea that we should wear ties.
It's not even a formal dance.
And if you wanna wear a tie, you should follow my instructions.
We really need to get you laid.
Shut up.
Start over.
Seriously, Jensen.
Okay? You help me tie a tie, I will help you get laid.
I don't need your help.
I I know.
I was just I was just saying.
I mean, you've had, like, a lot of sex, haven't you? Yeah, I've I've had a good amount.
Oh, I can't sleep at night Every second counts [CLAY.]
So, how do we survive? How do we bring light to a world that seems only dark? This is the first dance I haven't DJ'd in two years.
So now you get to dance.
Dude, people become DJs so they don't have to dance.
I thought it was because you had great taste in music.
That's just my gift to the world.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
Good evening.
[LAUGHS.]
Good evening.
Did Did you do this? I got him a guest pass.
Apparently, you forgot to.
I didn't go to dances when I was in school because I felt so awkward dancing with girls.
It may seem like high school bullshit to you, but to me, it's finally being able to dance with my boyfriend.
If he will.
Of course I will.
- After bitching about the DJ.
- [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, me, too.
[CHATTERING.]
[ALEX.]
Hey.
Hey.
You guys look good.
Thanks.
Yeah, I bedazzled the cane, so I didn't, really.
Well, if we have to do this, let's do it.
Okay.
All right.
- You ready? - Yep.
All right.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm living inside my head I'm living inside my head - Tony.
Caleb.
Hey! - Hey, what's up? - Hi.
This is Tamika.
- Hey, Tamika.
- Hi, Tamika.
- Hi.
She's my girlfriend.
- [GASPS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Oh.
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
Light it up just like a flashlight Let it shine You sure you don't wanna sit down? No, I don't wanna sit.
I wanna dance.
I just need to work up to it.
- You want a drink? - You know they're non-alcoholic.
Yeah, but any chance for sugar.
It feels good to be Running from the devil Another breath You would've been really good for Hannah.
I'm just saying.
Yeah? You know, if I didn't fuck it up like I fuck up everything else.
Dude, you do not wanna be having that contest with me.
["ROLLERCOASTER" PLAYING.]
I'm really sorry you couldn't talk to me.
Come on.
We gotta go in for this one! Okay, but it's full contact.
This dance desperately needs it.
- Yeah! - Fuck this.
Let's go.
Jensen, come on.
Are you about kicking ass or are you not? I'm It was summer when I saw your face I am.
I totally am.
Some killer queen you are Hey, come on.
If Jeff Atkins were here, he'd say, "Get your asses up and come on.
" Guys, come on! Come on! So come a little closer There is something I can tell ya You are such a rollercoaster And a killer queen you are [CLAY.]
How can we find joy in our lives in this world after Hannah? Come a little closer Why don't you come a little closer? Why don't you come a little closer? There's something I can tell ya Compared to them, I look all right.
Some killer queen you are Rollercoaster, I don't say no [CLAY.]
How do we take what hurts most? Take the darkness and turn it into light? Rollercoaster, I don't say no Rollercoaster, when you don't say no [CLAY.]
I think the answer is we love each other.
Some killer queen you are [CLAY.]
Easy to say.
But what do we do when it's hard to love? She thinks I've got a heart of stone Because I left her all alone Lonely tonight She thinks I'm gonna break her heart You want a real drink? No, thanks.
I'm good.
I don't have those emotions in me - [BRYCE.]
Brings back memories, huh? - I heard you were transferring.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna start over.
Lucky you.
I'm gonna miss this.
All of it.
You remember freshman year? The night before our first day, you stayed over.
We stayed up talking about how we were gonna be kings of this fucking school.
Yeah, I remember.
I'll always remember.
Me, too, brother.
[CLAY.]
Justin.
- You okay? - [BRYCE.]
He's fine.
I can't touch him.
Or you, or I go to jail.
Funny.
I don't have that problem.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're a good kid, Clay.
You need to get laid, but you're a good kid.
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
You all right? Yeah, I just I'm gonna go use the bathroom for a quick minute, okay? I'll I'll be right back.
My kind of love, my kind of love It's a deeper love, it's a darker love My kind of love My kind of love, my kind of love It's a deeper love, it's a darker love And I know I can hold you Like he does I don't have those emotions in me And it's true I can love you Like he does [BLINKER TICKING.]
My kind of love, my kind of love - [CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah.
- Whoo! - [PHOTOGRAPHER.]
One more, guys.
I can't My kind of love, my kind of love ["THE NIGHT WE MET" PLAYING.]
Oh, shit.
I gotta find Clay.
I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching For a trail to follow Again, take me back To the night we met I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met [JESSICA.]
What are you doing alone in the dark? It's creepy.
I'm not alone anymore, am I? What's with these mats? They must have had a wrestling meet yesterday.
Wait, we have a wrestling team? - You were a cheerleader.
- Not for the wrestling team.
And I was a shitty cheerleader.
Yeah, you were.
- What? You said it.
- Still.
You look beautiful.
Sorry.
- For saying I look beautiful? - Yes.
So you're, like, living with Clay for real now, huh? Yeah.
They're adopting me.
Which, like, why anyone would wanna do that, I don't know.
I do.
Do you ever think about it? Doing what Hannah did? No.
I don't.
With everything that happened, I I never thought that was a way to go.
I've had some shitty days.
But - I always wanted to live.
- Yeah.
- I wanted to be alive.
- I know.
I wanna hold you When I'm not supposed to When I'm lying Close to someone else You're stuck in my head And I can't get you out of it I would do it all again I know I'd go back to you I'll go back to you - I'll go back to you - I'll go, I'll go back to you I'll go back to you I'll go back to you Cy, you better look at this.
I just got this text.
Jesus, Mack.
We can't let him do this.
We have to stop him.
We need to get out of here.
We need to call the cops.
- Agreed.
- If we do, his life is over.
His life is over either way.
He's either going to jail or he's dead.
Tyler doesn't wanna die.
I know he doesn't.
Where's Tony? - What's going on, guys? - Have you seen Jess? [TOILET FLUSHING.]
- Jess - Don't.
- Please? - What? What do you want? - I don't know what to do.
- Really? - You don't know what to do? - Jess, I'm pregnant.
[CLAY.]
The next time someone is in desperate need and they're about to make a terrible mistake, what do we do? Justin, find Jessica.
Get everyone you can.
Lock the doors, stay inside.
And don't call the police.
I gotta find Tony.
What the fuck? Clay! [CLAY.]
Do we look the other way? Do we just protect ourselves or do we help them? Do we do whatever we can to save them? I think I know what Hannah would want us to do.
Tyler! Tyler, what are you what are you doing? [TRUNK CLOSES.]
Get out of here, Clay.
Go home.
No.
No, I Don't Don't do this, Tyler.
You need to leave right now.
[STAMMERS.]
Tyler, please, listen to me.
You don't wanna do this.
I I know you don't.
You don't fucking know anything about me.
No.
No, I do.
I do know because I hurt, too.
I'm pissed off.
I didn't realize how bad it was for you.
And I'm sorry that I didn't.
- [JUSTIN.]
Clay! - I should've Hey, g-go back inside.
- Jesus, Clay! - Go inside! Get out of my fucking way.
Tyler, please.
Don't do it.
- I have to.
- No, you don't have to.
You can turn around.
- You can go home.
- [POLICE SIREN WAILING.]
Everybody knows already.
The only people that know are people who know you, and they wanna help you.
- Bullshit.
- No, look.
[STAMMERS.]
Tyler, they know you're hurting, we all are.
And I don't know what to do about it, either.
Okay? I tried hurting other people.
I tried hurting you, and it didn't fucking help, man.
It doesn't do any good.
Listen to me.
It doesn't! [SIRENS APPROACHING.]
Tyler, listen.
You don't get out of this alive.
And I don't want you to die.
I-I don't want you to die.
If you think this is the way, if you really think this'll change a goddamn thing and not just be another fucking tragedy that adults cry about for a week and then forget, if you really think this is gonna be different, then do what you gotta do.
Come on, Tyler.
Please? There's nothing else I can do.
There is.
We'll figure it out.
Okay? I swear.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
- What the fuck? - That's Tony.
It's okay.
It's Tony.
We're gonna go.
Get in the car! Let me help you.
Come on.
It's okay.
Fuck.
Go, come on.
Come on.
Get in the car.
[TIRES SQUEALING.]
[JESSICA.]
Clay! Clay! - Fuck.
- [JESSICA.]
Are you okay? No.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
This is fucked up, right? Yeah.
Give me love, give me hope - What do we do now? - Give me strength Give me someone to live for [MAN.]
For help finding crisis resources, visit 13reasonswhy.
info.
That I need to survive? Who will be the life blood Coursing through my veins? Like a river flowing That will never change I need someone I can depend on - Won't you give me love? - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me straight Give me someone to live for - Give me love - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me strength Give me someone to live for I need it now I need it now Someone write me a letter I need to know that I'm still alive Someone give me a telephone call I need to hear a human sound Someone open up a door And let me out of this place I've been caged up for, oh, so long I don't know if I'm living or dying - Someone better give me love - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me strength Give me someone to live for - Give me love - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me strength Give me someone to live for - Give me love - Give me love - Give me hope - Give me hope Give me strength