1670 (2023) s01e03 Episode Script


- [wedding march playing]
- [church bell tolling]
- [music becomes off-key, stops]
- [curtains squeaking]
[instrumental folk music playing]
- [water splashing]
- [blows]
[laughing] Since I'm having a bath,
you might assume
it's the first Sunday of the month.
Nah, not this time, it's not.
Today is a special occasion.
Stanisław's new fiancée
and her parents will be visiting us today.
It's a fairly significant event for us,
as Stanisław is our eldest son
who will, eventually,
inherit our entire estate.
We'll marry Aniela off to a magnate's son
and Jakub, our second son,
will receive nothing.
Unfortunately, Stanisław's bride-to-be
comes from a merchant family
from the city of Wilanow.
I'm really trying to curb my assumptions,
but people from the city?
Courtesans and criminals everywhere
and inescapable moral decay.
- [troubled music playing]
- [scoffs] It's pretty embarrassing.
- [chuckles]
- [Stanisław] You'll see, Dad.
Jadwinia is awesome.
- [bath sponge squeaking and scrubbing]
- [Jan Paweł] Harder.
[sublime classical music playing]
[music stops]
[inhales, sighs deeply] So how do I look?
- [picture rattling]
- I would like to see the other option.
Well, there is no other option.
The Turkish bazaar has decided.
Let's show those city folks
what country style is.
- [Jakub vocalizes with Jan Paweł]
- Dad, please. It's creepy.
[vocalizing continues, then fades]
[troubled music playing]
Hey, isn't that your funeral dress,
It's not just for funerals.
It's also for lamentable engagements.
- [solemn music playing]
- [horse neighs]
[chickens clucking]
They're here!
[horse neighs]
[horse neighs]
[empowering, elegant music playing]
- [Stanisław] Morning.
- [Jadwiga laughs]
- [goat bleating]
- [kissing]
[Jadwiga moans, laughs]
- [goats bleating]
- [poultry clucking]
[music builds]
[Jan Paweł] Welcome to Adamczycha
[animals calling, honking]
the biggest little village in Poland.
Thank you, dear ones. I'm Rozalia.
And you, Ma'am, must be Zofia.
May we call each other by our first names?
I'm pleased to meet you. I'm Aniela.
- Ciesław Ryczyński.
- [grand music playing]
[grunts softly]
A visit from a famous merchant,
who is a globetrotter
and an experienced peddler.
This will be
a wonderful opportunity to learn.
- This your first country visit?
- No. Not at all. [laughs]
Oh yeah?
- So have you ever seen a cow?
- [horse neighs]
I could teach a merchant
all sorts of things.
Strategic thinking, calculation tactics,
and the art of negotiation.
- A cow. Ever seen one?
- [cow moos in the distance]
- A cow?
- That's right.
- Well, yes, I have. [chuckles]
- Ah.
So how does a cow go?
- I beg your pardon?
- Baa?
I believe a cow goes
[elongated] Moo.
[laughing] I was just testing you.
People love to pretend they are
from the country. [laughs]
[goat bleats in the distance]
Stanisław! Your greeting has gone on
long enough.
[window creaking]
[Stanisław kisses] Ever since I turned 14,
all I've been able
to think about is marriage.
- [gentle harp music playing]
- [women sighing sensually]
[friends] Oh wow.
- [sighing excitedly]
- Look at this!
- Check out her veil!
- [friend 1] Oh, yeah.
- [all sigh excitedly]
- Wait, check this out.
[breathes out]
[friend 2] Oh, man!
- [door creaks open]
- Boys? What are you doing?
- [music stops]
- [Stanisław] Nothing.
[sensual soul music playing]
[groans passionately]
[chuckles, inhales]
[Jan Paweł laughs]
- [Jadwiga exhales sensually]
- [fire crackles]
[Ciesław clears throat]
Uh, Jan Paweł, Listen.
I know we gathered here
for a completely different reason,
but it wouldn't be like me not to touch
on my profession with you a little.
I'd like to make you
a business proposition.
I've been in contact
with a merchant from the Netherlands.
His business is thriving and he
needs large quantities of rye, and so
Ciesław, I have a question.
Why do you have a saber?
[fire crackles]
- Oh, you mean this?
- [blade clinks]
Uh, I guess I don't know.
Uh, I guess it's in vogue now.
[both laugh nervously]
Vogue, huh?
I keep on telling him,
"Ciesław, I'll just give you a fork
since you already have a knife."
[Rozalia and Ciesław laughing]
- Mm.
- [fire crackles]
A saber is the accessory
of a nobleman, of a warrior.
We use it to defend the Commonwealth.
Well, in the city,
we treat it more like a
a fashion accessory.
It's cultural appropriation.
How would you feel
if I walked in here with
What kinds of things are cities known for?
- Excrement in the streets.
- Well, there you go.
How would you feel if I walked in here
holding your excrement in my hand?
Dad, are you sure you know
what excrement is?
- [classical music plays]
- [flatulates, grunts]
[water splashes]
[bell ringing]
Ugh. That Ciesław is
a complete and utter buffoon.
"Oh-ho-ho. I've been to the Netherlands."
"Oh-ho-ho. I speak French."
[munching] "Oh-ho-ho.
I wash my hands after I pee." [chuckles]
- [music ends]
- [sniffs]
[fire crackling]
[inhales] How about
we give you a little tour of the estate?
Ladies and gentlemen separately.
[Stanisław exhales passionately]
[laughs politely]
- [solemn folk music playing]
- [frogs croaking]
- [man] Are we going to drown an effigy?
- What else?
I dunno. I just thought
we would be drowning a real Marzanna.
St. George, our patron saint of spring,
needs to know we're taking him seriously.
But this this effigy is so makeshift.
Well, yeah,
but if we drown the real Marzanna,
St. George might get used to
a certain level of service.
And we'll also run out of Real Marzannas
for the drowning next year.
And how do you know that?
Maybe Arleta will name her baby Marzanna?
[metallic clanging in the background]
I definitely vote for the effigy.
[horse neighs in the distance]
Yes but you're not impartial, Marzanna.
- [Marzanna sighs]
- [folk music playing]
Tonight, there's a dance
to celebrate spring,
and the whole village will be there.
And who knows?
Maybe some noblewom
uh, noblemen will come?
Who are you bringing to the dance?
No one.
Well, um, maybe someone cool will come
from another village and we can hang out.
- [man 1] Hold it.
- Right.
- [man 2] Hey, can you help me over here?
- [merry music playing]
[sighs sharply]
I suppose that girls don't get bored
in Wilanow?
What do you mean?
- Theaters, fairs, concerts.
- [sighs deeply]
- You can just enjoy all of it.
- Yeah.
But I'm more into boys.
And fast horses.
[sighs] Uh, wanna do some shots?
[Jadwiga] Mm-hmm.
[indistinct chattering]
Lady Zofia,
I think we got off on the wrong foot.
- [chickens clucking]
- Why don't you tell me about yourself?
What do you do in your spare time?
I often think
about Beelzebub whipping us
for our sins in hell.
That sounds intriguing.
What's that pleasant violet-like smell?
Oh, it must be me.
I often hear that I smell of spring.
It looks like it's stopped snowing.
Come, girls! We're leaving!
No, we're gonna stay here.
- [calm classical music playing]
- [sniffs]
- [fire crackling]
- [inhales]
What a lovely tea set.
[places teacup down]
But I'm not going to give it to you.
[mysterious music playing]
Ah, that Rozalia
It's been a long time
since someone upset me so much.
[honey squelching]
I imagine you've already seen a snowfall?
Jan Paweł, can we get back to the merchant
from the Netherlands for a second?
- Europe is changing quickly these days.
- On the contrary.
- What do you mean?
- We're nearing the end of history.
- End of history?
- Of course.
We humans have achieved the pinnacle
of development and nothing more awaits us.
What more could there be?
- [Andrzej] Perpetual development.
- Here's the watering hole for the horses.
- [Andrzej]leads to progress
- [Jan Paweł] Two barns here.
- [Andrzej]for us to reform our economy
- [Jakub whispers] Dad. Dad!
[Andrzej]and improve
our living conditions.
We've gotta keep up
with this changing world, my dears.
Remember. Perpetual development.
My neighbor Andrzej.
- And the owner of
- [Jan Paweł] Half of Adamczycha.
- Right. The bigger half.
- Doesn't matter.
- Ciesław Ryczyński.
- Andrzej Pobreża. Pleased to meet you.
- That's a stylish zhupan! Yeah.
- This? Ah, it's just an old one.
Well, it's still nice. [chuckles]
Andrzej, we would love to chat, but
[blows out] Just not with you.
Uh, is that your carriage
in Jan Paweł's yard?
That's mine. I brought it here myself
from the Netherlands.
- Ciesław, you've been to the Netherlands?
- Sure. The Netherlands, France
- The perks of being a merchant. [laughs]
- Well, we do some traveling too.
Yes. In fact, just last month,
we attended the annual town hanging
of escaped Mazovian serfs.
- What was it called?
- The Goraszka Air Show.
- Yes. That's the one.
- Mm.
[troubled music plays]
- [clunk]
- [door slams]
- [indistinct, lively chattering]
- [loud, upbeat music playing]
So what's next?
Uh, got any smokes?
[lighter clicking]
Oh. Wow.
- [Maciej] Aniela!
- [coughs] Oh.
- [Maciej] Hey.
- Maciej.
Um, this is Jadwiga,
my brother's fiancée. [blows]
Wow. I didn't know your
brother was getting married.
It would seem
that he's found his soulmate.
He came on a fast horse.
Uh, listen,
I'm just curious
Will you be going to the dance tonight?
I'm sure it'll be dull.
Hopelessly boring and dull.
[Jadwiga] Shall we?
It might also be fun.
Unfortunately, we've got guests.
Hey, I really like your shirt.
[sad mandolin tune playing]
Have a nice evening.
[mandolin continues playing the sad tune]
Jadwiga hit the jackpot.
A nobleman and a talented musician.
Yes. I play a little bit myself.
So, I appreciate it even more.
"I play a little bit."
Mr. Ciesław is a virtuoso on the mandolin!
Aw, come on. A virtuoso?
[laughs] Not at all.
Mr. Ciesław, why don't you play something?
No, I couldn't possibly.
- I'm not that skilled. No, I couldn't.
- Come on. Please!
Come on, honey.
- [Jadwiga] Ciesław!
- [all chanting] Ciesław! Ciesław! Ciesław!
- [Ciesław] No, no, no, no, no.
- [chanting continues]
Well, all right. [laughs]
But I'll just play something simple.
[playing "Greensleeves" on mandolin]
[sighs deeply]
Oh, wow. You're very talented.
[music fades slightly and distorts]
[music grows somber]
[in slow motion, distorted]
Bravo, Ciesław!
[all chanting distortedly]
Ciesław! Ciesław!
[high-pitched, maniacal laughing]
- [distorted male voice] Ciesław!
- [all laughing maniacally]
[disturbing music playing]
[laughter stops]
[music transitions into electronic]
[all cheering and applauding]
[Aniela] Dad, what are you doing?
["Greensleeves" resumes on mandolin]
I wanted to show you some of my moves.
I guess you didn't know
that your old man is such a good dancer!
- I like the way you think, Jan Paweł.
- See, Stanisław?
Your dad's still got game.
[Ciesław sings in French]
The city or the country, hear my voice ♪
The city is my choice! ♪
The city is bustling with life! ♪
In the country
You must fight to survive ♪
The city holds so many things ♪
The country so grossly stinks ♪
There's life in every town ♪
The country brings one down ♪
[song ends]
[all applaud]
[in English] Bravo!
In French too!
[slurs, imitating French]
[Ciesław] I don't think that was French.
- [coins clink]
- [knocking on door]
[door opens]
Ah. I've never seen your room.
Listen, Brother.
First of all, I'm really sorry
for all the pranks I pulled on you
when we were kids.
But I've already apologized
for that, right?
No, this is the very first time
we've spoken in ten years.
[laughs awkwardly]
My relationship with my brother
can be summarized in two words,
Cain and Abel.
[praying in Latin]
Lorem ipsum dolor si deli.
[mourners sobbing]
Consectetur, ad
- Booyah.
- [thuds]
[in English] Stanisław, stop it!
- [casket crashes]
- [mourners gasp, scream, and cry]
- What do you say, bro? Will you marry us?
- Of course I will, Stanisław.
You're my brother, after all.
You'll get the family rate.
Okay, great.
So in ten minutes by the outhouse?
I want to become a married man
as soon as possible.
Uh sure, but we have to prepare first.
We've got to make a guest list,
And we should wait until summer.
Maybe June?
Because the estate
won't smell like fertilizer.
- August would be lovely as well.
- Or we could just do the outhouse?
I like the smell of fertilizer.
[Zofia shouts] Come, my dears!
We're ready to eat!
[moans sarcastically]
[poignant classical music playing]
[fire sizzling]
[all laughing loudly]
- [Ciesław] Ah. You know
- [Aniela] Yes?
[Ciesław] We simply had the best time
at the premiere of Tartuffe.
[Aniela] Hm, Tartuffe?
A new play by Molière.
Oh, it's quite brilliant and subversive.
And it reminded me
of La Fontaine's newest fable,
in which a fox approaches a tree
and then looks up and says to a
[laughs] What rubbish. [chuckles]
- Rubbish?
- [Jan Paweł] A talking fox?
[laughs] Do you hear
what you're saying, Ciesław?
[chuckles awkwardly]
I'm not sure I understand.
What's the problem?
Foxes don't talk,
and you don't need to go
all the way to France to know that.
- But, I mean, it's a fable.
- Dad, let him finish the story.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- [Ciesław] So
- So, Ciesław, who's the fox talking to?
[inhales] To a crow.
- A crow, you say?
- [crackling]
A fox talking to a crow?
For fuck's sake! [laughs]
So we're assuming that a fox,
by some miracle, has learned to talk.
That some peasant took him in
and taught him a bunch of basic phrases.
"Yes, yes." "No, no."
But what are the chances
of a talking fox running into a crow
who can also talk?
I assume they speak the same language too?
How many languages are there in the world?
About seven.
- Nine, maybe.
- There!
- [thuds]
- [chair scrapes]
Ciesław, you are a liar!
A fox that can talk is a lie.
Europe being on the brink
of change is also a lie.
And that saber
at your hip is the biggest lie of all!
- Jesus Christ!
- Dad, stop!
A saber isn't in "vogue!"
It's practically an extension of my arm!
I was born more noble
than you were [inhales sharply]
And you simply can't stand it, Ciesław!
Dad, you've never used that saber
in your entire life! So, stop it!
This weapon runs in my blood.
And I'm gonna prove it to you.
You there. Bring those apples over here.
[valiant drum music playing]
The very first day of spring.
Oh, how I hate this day.
Dad, we get it.
You're a master fencer. We believe you.
It's okay, maid.
Don't worry. This is 100% safe.
Jan Paweł, just your willingness
to do this is enough
- [whooshes]
- [Aniela gasps] Jesus, Dad!
- [whooshes]
- [all screaming]
Stop screaming, or I'll miss!
You swung right at the height of her neck!
That was a test. Just a test.
I think he can fail at least twice.
Maids are a dime a dozen.
[Jan Paweł] I'll get it on the first try.
I'm a Sarmatian.
Ready! Fire!
- [blade slices]
- [Jan Paweł] Ooh!
[Rozalia screams]
- [gasps]
- [squirting]
[all screaming in panic]
- [Jadwiga screams in shock]
- [Jakub laughs]
- [screaming] Where's my finger?
- [all scream]
- Oh!
- [all continue screaming]
[sinister classical music playing]
My zhupan!
[screaming continues]
[yelling] Dad, you cut off her finger!
No. I don't think I did!
- Oh, come on! Look at her!
- [screaming]
All right, give me the tablecloth
to stop the bleeding!
[crockery clattering]
[yelling] You psycho!
You cut off my mother's finger!
I most certainly did not.
It fell off on its own!
Look for it!
Maybe we can stitch it back on!
[screaming continues]
I think you may have leprosy.
- [music stops]
- [footsteps approaching]
Well, because of you,
Jadwiga broke off the engagement.
- Hm.
- Because of me?
Dad! You cut off her mother's finger!
Eh, sure, but it was just her ring finger.
It's the least useful finger of all.
Don't overreact, Stanisław.
That marriage wasn't meant to be anyway.
It was a misalliance with a city girl.
What were you thinking
trying to choose a bride on your own?
Jesus, Mom!
Your attitude is positively prehistoric.
Everyone should follow their heart.
That's exactly it!
And my heart is throbbing so hard.
If I don't get married,
I don't know what I'll do.
Everyone should follow their heart?
Do you think I followed my heart
when I married your father? That's absurd.
You think it's absurd?
All right. Enough of this tomfoolery.
We'll find you somebody else,
and Aniela will marry a magnate's son.
That's the end of it!
[loud clanging]
[breathing heavily]
[yelling] I would rather die first!
- [footsteps receding]
- [gasps]
- Me too!
- [clangs]
[disturbing organ music playing]
[inhales deeply]
We love you,
and we still know what's best for you!
- Marrying a city girl.
- [gasps, sighs]
You might as well marry
some kind of wild creature!
- No offense.
- [Rozalia groans]
- [door slams]
- [Rozalia groaning]
[dramatic music playing]
[Stanisław] All of my buddies
have been married for a long time now.
And they laugh at me.
Staszek the bachelor.
Staszek the bachelor.
[sighs] I've gotten really close
a few times before,
but then my dad always shows up,
and cuts off somebody's finger!
[music crescendos]
- [music stops]
- [fire crackling]
- [folk song playing]
- [indistinct, loud chattering]
[drum beating to the song]
[in Polish] My lover's already
Putting his shirt on ♪
To get the green vine
To get green grass ♪
[instrumentals continue]
[patrons laugh and chatter indistinctly]
[singing continues] My lover's already
Putting his coat on ♪
To get the green vine
To get green grass ♪
[instrumentals continue]
So is what they say about
the blacksmith's helpers true?
- That they're the most boring guys.
- What're you doing here?
What I love the most.
Pissing off my parents.
[crowd applauding and cheering]
So is what they say
about noblewomen true, then?
- Ah!
- That they're crazier than all of us?
- [another folk song plays]
- [people cheering]
They're playing my song now!
Come on!
- [laughs]
- [Aniela cheers]
[patrons festively shouting and whistling]
[Aniela] Whoo!
[all sing in Polish]
Oh, Kasia, what was going on? ♪
Why were your lights on
All night long? ♪
Oh, my-oh-my, oh, my-oh-my ♪
Why were your lights on
All night long? ♪
Oh, my-oh-my, oh, my-oh-my ♪
Why were your lights on
All night long? ♪
[instrumentals continue]
[Aniela cheers]
[Maciej clucking]
[Aniela clucking, laughs]
[all sing in Polish]
I was chopping cabbage, you see ♪
Waiting for you to come to me ♪
Oh, my-oh-my, oh, my-oh-my ♪
Waiting for you to come to me ♪
Oh, my-oh-my, oh, my-oh-my ♪
Waiting for you to come to me ♪
- [instrumentals continue]
- [patrons cheering and shouting]
- [distant howling]
- [fire crackling]
[Jan Paweł, in English] Today was
an excellent lesson for all my children.
You can study your whole life,
travel the world, read books in French
But in the end, all that really matters is
your station at birth.
And that's the real cautionary tale.
Not some stupid talking fox and crow.
[blade clinks]
As for the finger,
it was never found.
[woman singing a folk song in Polish]
Where are my black horses? ♪
Where are my reins? ♪
Hey, there's love in the East ♪
Yet my heart stays in the West ♪
Hey, there's love in the East ♪
Yet my heart stays in the West ♪
The cherry tree stays bent ♪
From sunrise till sunset ♪
What makes thee, my love ♪
Unhappy and upset? ♪
[Jakub, in English] Love is patient,
Love is kind.
Love is
[people sing in Polish] Green grass
Has grown all over my well ♪
My beloved one
Has already bid me farewell ♪
Dust and dirt are all over my well ♪
My beloved one was married in a year ♪
[fiddle playing]
The cherry tree stays bent
From sunrise till sunset ♪
What makes thee, my love
Unhappy and upset? ♪
I'm unhappy and upset
Because I can't write ♪
Dear noble folks
I've got plenty to recite ♪
[fiddle playing]
[song ends]
Subtitle translation by Maja Konkolewska.
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