68 Whiskey (2020) s01e02 Episode Script
Finger Lickin' Good
1 Previously on "68 Whiskey" You saved my life.
You never should've been brought here.
- Oh shit! - [COUGHS.]
Stay with me, Buckley! Stay with me! [INTENSE MUSIC.]
Transporting rugs in body bags? This fuckin' place is like high school with IEDs.
Corporal Buckley! Corporal John Buckley is no longer with us.
Some think it is possessed by spirits.
Spirits? Now we got no way to get back, and we're not even supposed to be here.
Not to mention the ten pounds of hashish we got strapped to our backs.
Hashish? [INSECTS AND WILDLIFE CHITTER.]
Relax, kid.
It's too hot for that shit.
I ain't getting sniped by some dude in pajamas.
Uh, they're not called pajamas.
They're shit, what are they called again? Whatever they're called, I'd pay top dollar for a pair right now.
You know what? This is bullshit, man.
The road's too dangerous.
Let's get off it.
Come on.
You know, something is wrong with you guys if you ain't scared.
We're fucking terrified.
But we choose to spend what may possibly be the last few moments of our life not spinning around like a fucking idiot in 130-degree heat.
That wasn't very nice.
[SIGHS.]
You're right.
I'm sorry, kid.
I'm just tired and I'm frustrated.
I'm trying to figure out where the hell we - [GUNFIRE CRACKS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Contact? - No clue! - What do we do? - Stay down.
Son of a bitch.
Are you nuts? Get up, kid.
[LAUGHS.]
Boz! Boz? What the fuck is Boz? [LAUGHS.]
Hey, Boz.
[LAUGHS, PANTS.]
Hey, buddy.
[EXHALES.]
Oh, Boz.
I missed you.
What are you doing out here? You gotta meet my friends.
[CHUCKLES.]
Who's Boz? That [PANTS.]
is what I'm naming him.
Don't get too attached.
We may have to eat the motherfucker.
No.
No one's eating Boz.
Why the hell not? Because he is special.
[BOZ BLEATS.]
What the hell does that mean? I'm not sure yet.
[MUMBLING.]
All right.
[GRUNTS.]
- [LIGHTER FLICKS.]
- Well [GOAT BLEATS.]
[INHALES.]
I highly recommend.
Give me that.
[SNICKERS.]
No, thanks.
What do you mean, "No, thanks"? Never done drugs before.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
How'd you make it through high school without drugs? I was homeschooled.
On the eve of your almost certain death It's time to try.
[MELLOW MUSIC.]
[COUGHING.]
[LAUGHS.]
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
You're making your mother and I very proud.
[CONTINUES COUGHING.]
[ETHEREAL VOCALIZATIONS.]
Sergeant Alvarez, you're gonna be on the morning flight to Bagram.
- Yes, sir.
- From there, you'll be flown directly to Ramstein and then on to Fort Hood.
And get deported the minute my feet hit U.
S.
soil.
I have no choice in the matter.
Tried to get more details on your discharge, but information is scarce.
What I have been told is that your MAVNI status is being revoked by executive order.
Wouldn't get more specific than that.
This is straight up "send all the Mexicans back to Mexico" bullshit.
Neither of us is in a position to make that call.
Afraid I am, sir.
I was granted that status as a medical professional.
Unless you lodged some sort of complaint, I don't see how anything's changed.
Of course I didn't.
Your duty here for me has been exceptional.
Save for that incident on the roof of the DFAC.
But I'm gonna sweep that little matter under the rug.
Still sorry I missed it.
I'm sure someone has photos, sir.
I hope that you can straighten all this out one day to your satisfaction.
I doubt it, sir.
Hmm.
Just realized you're probably under no obligation to call me "sir" anymore.
You know, I might as well go back.
Because I have no fucking idea what kind of racist goddamn country I'm defending by being here.
I worked damn hard so I wouldn't have to scrape white people's shit off of toilet seats like my mom.
But now, even that's starting to look good.
As a black man who's had to deal with an ungodly amount of bullshit to rise to my rank, I'm sympathetic to your plight.
But as a colonel in the United States Army, I obey the chain of command.
Chain of command is telling me you're out.
Fuck the chain of command.
Dismissed.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Weird.
I'm still scared, but I'm chill.
I am scared, but I'm chill.
I still feel scared, but - We get it.
- I [GOAT BLEATS.]
Why didn't I tell my parents to go to hell? Why didn't I tell them, "I wanna go to high school like every other normal kid"? Don't beat yourself up.
High school wasn't all fun and drugs.
Yes, it was.
[CHUCKLES.]
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC.]
[ETHEREAL VOCALIZATIONS.]
You guys are so lucky.
Drugs are fucking awesome.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
First time I did drugs, I was 10 years old.
My dad gave me some of his meth.
Bullshit.
True story, man.
I broke my arm in a bike accident, and my loving father was too high to take me to the emergency room.
So he shot me up, killed the pain.
That works, I guess.
Well I mean, I didn't stop throwing up for days.
It was probably the only reason I didn't become an addict myself.
I think I really disappointed the old man.
That's a sweet story, but we need a plan.
Here's the plan.
We radio in, we tell them where we are, we spend the rest of our lives in Fort Leavenworth.
That that is a dumb plan.
You know, we're technically not really that far from base.
That would be true if we were fucking birds.
It's doable.
It's suicide.
Well, those are our only two options here, amigo.
Glad you got it all figured out.
Can I have some more hashish? [TENSE MUSIC.]
What the fuck is that? [SPEAKING ITALIAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[SPEAKING ITALIAN.]
[SPEAKING ITALIAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Italian, too? Uh, my Italian is not so great.
I think it is lovely.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Major.
Healing nicely.
That is good news.
I'm ready to go, then.
Whoa! No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Hey.
Whoa.
Get back in that bed.
You're far from ready to be discharged.
But [SIGHS.]
I am fine.
Breathe deeply for me.
[INHALES HARSHLY.]
Yeah, you have deep incisions in your lungs.
They need to heal.
Until they do, you're highly vulnerable to a lung infection.
But my white blood cell count is finally high enough that such a chance of infection is very small.
Where'd you learn to read a medical chart? Are you studying to be a doctor? No, but I have read books on the subject of antibodies and infection.
Nobody who's not studying to be a doctor reads books on antibodies and infection.
I grew up with access to many different types of books, but could not always choose which books they were.
Hmm.
Apparently.
My parents were teachers.
They ran a school in our village.
- "Were"? - They are both dead.
Killed by the Taliban.
Mm.
Well, very sorry to hear that.
You know, honestly, there's a level of brutality in your country I find quite shocking.
Yes, but I think that, as a people, we are not as afraid of death as you are.
Perhaps it is our curse.
Perhaps your fear of death is your curse.
Or perhaps our fear of death is what keeps us from blowing up innocent women and children.
I mean, I don't understand your country at all.
And yet, you are here.
I hate to think what it would be like if we weren't.
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
Brutality can take many different forms and is somewhat easier to condemn in others, no? You remind me of a clever old college professor I once had.
He knew exactly how to charm a wide-eyed 19-year-old girl.
I had a huge crush on him, but, not 19 anymore.
Just as beautiful now, I am sure.
I am right about my white blood cell count, am I not? You are not.
Maybe at Paghman, they had no problem sending you home to die, but here in my hospital, the whole point is keeping you alive.
I must go home.
Well, for the next few days, this is your home.
- [MACHINERY RUMBLING.]
- [WORKERS TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
What the Best guess? I think some sort of UFO crashed down there.
Could've been ancient aliens.
We assume our evolutions are on the same time-space continuum, but that's not always how it works.
You both need to cool it on the fucking comic books.
Then why don't you tell us what they're doing? Man, someone's been paying a lot of money to get SecCorp to clear and secure this entire area for whatever the fuck it is they're doing down there.
Poor Buckley.
Just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You think they killed him? Probably collateral damage.
Can they do that? They can do whatever they want.
Those fucking assholes.
Pretty sure they're the ones torched our ambulance, too.
Yeah, signed out under my name.
Thanks, guys.
SecCorp can not only do whatever they want.
They also get paid for it ten times more than we do.
Ten ten times? Dude like Sasquatch pulls in probably a quarter mil a year.
Shit.
Really? Either of you guys ever thought about working for them? What? Are you nuts? The mortality rate is through the roof for those guys.
They're always returning to base with dead SecCorp bodies strapped to the hoods of their vehicles like they've gone fucking deer hunting or something.
Thought about it.
[TENSE MUSICAL STING.]
I'm disgusted.
Didn't do it.
Just thought about it.
How come you never told me this? 'Cause I knew you'd react like a jealous little bitch.
Truthfully, I find this lapse in judgment shocking.
Go fuck yourself, amigo.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Shut that animal up, or I will.
Come here.
- Come here.
Shh.
- [GOAT BLEATS.]
It's okay.
It's okay.
Okay, we should keep moving.
Come on.
Why can't we just hitch a ride home with them? Because I don't think they're gonna take too kindly to us knowing all about that little covert op they got going on down there.
What are they gonna do? You what? You really think that they're It's the fucking Wild West out here for these psychos.
They've done worse.
Believe me.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Boz! Shit.
[GROANS.]
Should've ate that goddamn goat when we had the chance.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Hey, baby.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Get down, get down.
Come on, baby.
There you go.
Here's a nice goat.
Come on, come on.
What's he doing? Here we go.
Here we go.
- Here's a good girl.
- [GOAT BLEATS.]
[CHOPPER ROTORS THRUMMING OUTSIDE.]
[KNOCK AT DOOR.]
What is it? Urgent surgical.
We're already halfway through golden hour.
I'm retired.
It's a long story.
Get Roback.
He's absent from base.
- Doing what? - It, too, is a long story.
But if you do not go out, many people will be demanding to hear that story.
I'm not in the army anymore.
Well, then what can they do to you if you go? [TWANGY ROCK MUSIC.]
Here we go.
Here's a good girl.
Come on.
There we go.
Good goat, girl.
Look at that.
Yum.
[LOUD CRUNCH.]
Ow! My fucking fingers! - Oh, shit.
- Fuck! Boz.
[GROANING.]
It ate my fucking fingers! [COLLEAGUES SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
Let's go.
Let's go! Let's go! - You guys in? - Yeah.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Perhaps you will be better off in your native land, no? Not going to Paris.
I'm going to Juárez, where my family is living in a migrant shelter.
But I appreciate trying to put a positive spin on everything.
I'm practicing unwarranted hopefulness for when, one day, I visit your country.
Not my country anymore.
What if I screw up again? Then another unlucky soul will lose his life.
Fuck you, Khalil.
That is more like it.
Fuck you! I like that! [SINISTER MUSIC.]
Get over it, kid.
We shouldn't have left Boz.
You know, now I know why he's here.
'Cause he is possessed by spirits.
- By Buckley's spirit.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Buckley's dead and you're high.
You and Buckley were pretty close, huh? We were battle buddies.
Yeah, well, now you got us.
Lucky him.
Boz saved our lives, and we just left him there.
And now he's gonna get eaten by wild boars.
It's tough all around, kid.
You have any idea where the fuck we're going? Sure do.
This baby's got GPS.
[DEVICE BEEPS SOFTLY.]
Didn't think so.
Look, heading northwest is all I need to know.
Soon as that poor motherfucker gets his hand bandaged, they're all gonna notice their vehicle's missing.
Screw those bastards.
They torched our ambulance.
Hey.
This thing drives really well.
[ALL SHOUTING.]
Anybody hurt? - I'm good.
- [GROANS.]
Me, too.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
- Whoa! - Fuck.
Wow.
My first IED.
If that had been an IED, it would've also been your last, kid.
That was probably just an old Russian land mine.
Well, you gotta love these SecCorp chariots.
This sucker's really built to survive.
The automatic door release is especially impressive.
Way better than that shit the army gives us to tool around in.
Yeah, well obviously what they're doing out here is a hell of a lot more important to everybody than what we're doing out here.
I'm telling you guys, that is a UFO salvage operation.
Ah, whatever it is, if SecCorp's involved, there's a shitload of money in it.
Probably puts you at a disadvantage with Durkin when it comes to Sasquatch, don't it? She's not like that.
Say what? Okay, she's a little like that, but it's not just all about money with her.
You and Durkin? She's hot.
Maybe keep that to yourself, kid.
I'm not interested in becoming Sasquatch roadkill again.
What's it worth to you? If I wind up dead, take care of this little shit for me, will you? - You got it.
- I am swearing total silence.
[GRUNTS.]
And we're not that far from base.
So what? We're just leaving this out here in the middle of nowhere? Ah, it's toast.
No one's moving three tons of dead metal anywhere.
Damn shame.
The blue book on this thing must still be in the six figures.
Hey, maybe if you join up with SecCorp, they might gift you one.
Keep that shit up, I'll think about it.
[GRUNTS.]
Ah, fuck.
[BLUESY MUSIC.]
We got two KIA, and our CO has head trauma.
Follow me! [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
You heard him! Let's go! Move out! How you feeling, sir? Got a little blowback from the IED.
Looks much worse than it is, Sergeant.
Just your scalp? Also having a little trouble moving my arms and legs.
Try moving them for me now.
[GROANS.]
My friend and I are gonna transfer you to a stretcher and load you in to the bird.
Appreciate your concern, Sergeant, but I'm gonna be fine.
Just give me a moment.
I think I can move my foot.
[GRUNTS.]
See? Went into shock mode, but I'm gonna be fine now.
Perhaps, sir, but you really need to stay still while we load you on.
- Leave me alone, Sergeant.
- Sir That's a direct order.
Sir, you need to get scanned as soon as possible.
From your inability to move your arms and legs, I'm guessing that you've got spinal damage, and we really need to know the extent of the damage before you possibly make it worse.
I lost two men, good men, in that vehicle in front of us.
I'm not abandoning the rest of them.
I just need a few more minutes.
I should be able to move my arms.
Just sustained a slight shock to my nervous system.
I don't think so, sir.
Well, I don't care what you think! Help me stand up.
No, sir.
Rogers! - Yes, sir.
- Help me get up.
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
There we go.
Sergeant.
I'm not gonna cite you for insubordination 'cause I believe you have my best interests at heart, but I'm getting back in this convoy and continuing on.
All right.
Let me go.
[GROANS.]
This is bullshit.
If he snaps his spine trying to move, he's gonna end up paraplegic.
I'm not leaving without him.
I feel this will be very difficult to accomplish considering the elements involved.
[GRUNTS.]
All right.
This time for sure.
[CHUCKLES.]
See? I told you.
Base.
Oh, sweet.
Let's hold off on the celebration.
Our troubles are far from over.
Come on.
[SUSPENSEFUL WESTERN MUSIC.]
[ROTORS CHOPPING RAPIDLY.]
We ready to take off? Not quite yet.
Sir, if you're gonna insist on walking off a possible spinal injury, at least let us be the ones to help you.
Fine.
That's a good idea.
- [GRUNTS.]
- Okay.
- [GRUNTS.]
- Careful.
Yeah.
Wha what's that? Mild pain pill.
Glorified aspirin.
If I can't get you to come back with me to the FOB, then at least take it for your scalp injury, which has gotta be hurting big-time.
It's throbbing like a son of a bitch.
Please, take it.
All right.
Enough of this.
You two can just load me in the vehicle.
I'll be good to go.
[GRUNTS.]
I would like one of these pills.
- Come on.
- What happened to the major? He decided to come back to the base with us.
As soon as I get my hands on a medical scale, start breaking this down, sell it.
Why I gotta be the one holding? Because as soon as Sasquatch gets back and tells Holloway I disobeyed her direct order, I'm going straight to the brig.
My bag will be extremely vulnerable to detection.
That's a good reason.
Just gotta figure out a way to make sure Petrocelli doesn't end up taking the rap for the missing ambulance.
Long as you're doing time, you could say it was you.
Was hoping we could come up with an alternative plan, but fine.
Let's try and move this shit fast, okay? Need the cash bad.
How's your mom doing? She got a call from the hospital where she's getting her cancer treatments.
Told her they're filing suit against her for unpaid medical bills.
Lawyer says they might take our house.
Can they do that? Goddamn motherfuckers can do whatever they want.
What are you gonna do? I'm gonna make this Sasquatch fight the biggest thing to ever hit this base and go all in.
- And if our guy loses? - He ain't gonna lose.
Okay, then.
- But what if he does lose? - He's not.
No, but what if he does? What are you gonna do for me? Don't know.
Exactly.
What are you bringing me, Sergeant? IED victim, head trauma, possible spinal damage.
And why is he unconscious? I administered a fentanyl pill, Captain.
That sounds a bit extreme.
It was the only way to bring him in.
He is a proud man.
All right, well, let's get him prepped for a CAT scan.
SÃ, Captain.
Oh, and you.
Yeah, don't go anywhere.
You wait for me outside.
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
The major's C4 was pulverized.
It's hanging on by a thread.
If he had so much as sneezed, it would've snapped and he would've had to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
That's how it seemed to me, Captain.
But convincing him was another matter.
Hmm.
We're Sending him to Landstuhl Medical Center in Germany.
They should be able to fuse a bone and keep him on his feet.
That's great, sir.
Sergeant Alvarez.
You know, my great-grandparents, they left what is now called Pakistan because they were being persecuted as outsiders even though they had been there longer than the people who were persecuting them.
They settled in London, where my grandparents were then persecuted as outsiders even though, in most instances, they had been living in that city longer than the people who were persecuting them.
I am descended from a rich tradition of tribal hatred that will probably never cease.
And it has all made me who I am today.
What exactly is that, sir? An angry bastard whose medical career and military rank are one big sod off to anyone who believes that I'm the reason that their lives didn't turn out the way they had hoped.
[HOPEFUL MUSIC.]
Make it work for you.
I wish I had a choice.
Exemplary work tonight.
[BLUESY MUSIC.]
[DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Lot of weird shit's happened since we saw you last.
Lot of weird shit's happened since I saw you last.
- Us first.
- No time.
Just wanted to find you guys and say good-bye.
Where you going? My MAVNI status was pulled.
Just because.
Colonel Austin's got me on the next convoy to Bagram.
From there to Germany.
From there to Texas.
From there, I get deported back to Mexico.
- What? - Oh, I'll be sure and send postcards from all the lovely places I visit.
Well, there's gotta be something you can do.
White boys.
Gotta love their optimism.
Never ceases to amuse.
Wait.
They didn't even get anyone to replace you? I'm sure whoever it is won't find all you guys' bullshit nearly as entertaining as I do.
Took us months to break you down.
Ain't looking forward to doing it all over again.
I have faith you'll succeed.
[STAMMERS.]
Did you try contacting Tried everything.
I love you, but there's nothing you can think of that I haven't thought of already.
Let's get this over with.
- Not gonna miss you.
- Not gonna miss you, either.
- Come on.
- No.
This is bullshit! I'm not gonna let them break up the band and stick you in a fucking detention center just 'cause some asshole in Washington wants to get reelected.
God, you're making this so much harder than it has to be.
- Just say good-bye - No! - and wish me luck, damn it.
- No.
I'm gonna figure this one out.
Well, while you're figuring it out, I'll be on my world tour.
[GRUNTS.]
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
Wait! [LAUGHS.]
The colonel will be right out.
Thanks.
Yeah, thanks.
[EXHALES HEAVILY.]
Let's do this quick.
If this is a plea for some sort of last-minute reprieve, you're both wasting my time.
- It's not, sir.
- Then what is it? [CHUCKLES.]
Sergeant Alvarez and I are getting married.
I see.
We've been planning it for a while now, sir.
Scheduled it for between deployments, but obviously, the change in her status has moved those plans up.
You two are news to me.
Sir, we just assumed everybody knew about us.
We didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Didn't want it to get in the way of our duties.
Mm-hmm.
The way I see it, I got two options here.
Option one is to believe it, let love work its way, place Alvarez's paperwork without my signature at the bottom of a pile.
Option two? Option two would be to conclude that this is some bullshit and send Alvarez's paperwork with my signature pinned to her chest on to Bagram.
Oh, and institute a court-martial for you, Roback.
- This is not bullshit, sir.
- So you say.
Alvarez, you were not supposed to leave this base last night to go out on a mission.
You were not supposed to tend medical care to anyone, and you most certainly were not supposed to disregard the order of a superior officer and then drug said officer against their will.
I hate commanding medical units.
The entitlement doctors and medics possess drives me crazy.
You're as bad as the SecCorp guys.
You get away with murder because you can do something I can't.
Every time I'm in the OR, I feel like a goddamn eunuch at an orgy.
Useless.
And that's not what I'm used to.
That said, what you do is important Keeping men like Major Peters alive.
He and I served in Iraq together.
He's an outstanding warrior.
Heard he may have never walked again if you hadn't brought him in here.
You didn't have to go out on that mission, but you did.
I respect bravery and a sense of duty when I see it.
Military needs more people like you, not less.
You can see why I feel in love with this woman.
Shut the fuck up.
Yes, sir.
[EXHALES SLOWLY.]
Already down a medic without Alvarez.
Can't afford to take you out of commission, Roback.
So I choose to believe that this is genuine, that you are both in love, intending to marry, and will spend the rest of your lives together.
Thank you, sir.
Always figured there was something going on between you two.
Our love is real, sir.
Ooh, it better be.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Now I have no idea if this is gonna keep Alvarez from losing her MAVNI status But I guess we'll find out.
Either way, I'm gonna assign you both to a communal CHU once you're married.
Corporal Durkin will help you fill out the necessary paperwork for the marriage.
Congratulations.
Forgive me if I don't get you both a wedding gift.
Get out.
- Now.
- Yes, sir.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
We're gonna need to requisition a marriage certificate form so Sergeant Roback Let me take care of this.
I'll catch up with you in a bit.
Okay, sure.
[CHUCKLES STIFFLY.]
We should probably talk.
[LAUGHS.]
I knew you'd take this the right way.
You really believe it'll work? That's the plan.
Good luck to you both.
Thanks.
Now, I've been working on some new moves that I am certain will succeed where others have failed.
- Uh, no.
- What's wrong? I'm not fucking a married man.
- Yeah, but I won't really be married.
- Yeah, you will.
Yeah, but not in the emotional sense.
In the legal sense.
Yeah, but I'm only doing this to help Alvarez so she doesn't get deported back to Mexico.
And that's very sweet.
You're a hell of a friend.
Really, you are, but you'll still be married.
Oh, come on.
It'll be awesome.
It might even make the sex so hot that I might be able to finally get you off.
[STAMMERS, LAUGHS.]
After my dad left my mom for another woman, I promised myself I'd never fuck a married man.
And I meant it.
Well, how old were you? - Eight.
- I don't believe this.
Believe it.
Well, then I'll get a divorce after she establishes her citizenship.
All right.
Cool.
Yeah.
Uh - Yeah? - All right.
See you in a few years.
Let's try to keep in touch.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey, look.
If you're jealous, there's really no reason to be.
Jealous? Well, I Look, you're acting very emotional right now, and I get it, but if you just think this through, you'll realize it really doesn't change anything.
No, it changes everything.
I can't back out.
This is my idea.
[SCOFFS.]
Of course it was.
I have to do this for her.
Well, don't let me stop you.
I'm not ready to end this.
Get ready.
Wait.
I've been thinking about us.
And you're right, okay? You and I are a lot alike.
We both need the thrill of being with somebody spontaneous and unpredictable, and And not married.
[SIGHS.]
[QUIETLY.]
Grace.
Come on.
What happened to the young man in that bed? - He's gone, Major.
- What do you mean "gone"? Um, he's not there, no? No, I mean I didn't release him.
- He's my patient.
- He perhaps walked out.
Well, did anyone try to stop him? We think it occurred late of night.
Nurse which was on duty, she noticed nothing.
No.
This is unacceptable.
This happens many times with natives which are local.
You know this, Major.
There is nothing we do to stop them.
No.
I don't care.
That patient was under my care and in no shape to leave this hospital.
It's for him? God damn it.
Hey, what can I do for you, mate? Why don't we cool it on the chicken for a while? What do you say? I cook what they send me.
Is that why you're here? Bust my balls? If so, fuck off.
I have a proposition.
A proposition? [CHUCKLES.]
Not sure you're in a position to propose a proposition, mate.
Hear me out.
I've got 50 more chooks to part.
So it looks like I'm not going anywhere.
I'm proposing another fight.
[LAUGHS.]
Last time you did that, didn't work out too well for you.
This time, it will.
You hope.
I've got a fighter.
Well, whoever it is, best have more fight in him than your other half, Roback.
He does.
A lot more.
I think he could take Sasquatch.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
Who is this mythical creature? An LN from the village.
- I'd have to meet him.
- Of course.
You'd have to cover his end of the action.
Of course.
If you got that much, why aren't you fucking paying me what you owe? I'll be using it as collateral.
[EXHALES.]
That road eventually ends, mate.
You can't roll over debt forever.
Of course.
Comes a time to settle all accounts.
Of course.
- I'll think about it.
- You do that.
Hey, mate.
You got a stench of desperation about you.
Not how smart decisions are made.
Life lessons from a man can't even cook chicken right? I don't think so.
You're back, and the first person you come to see is me.
Must be important.
You have something we want.
Integrity? You know what I'm talking about.
No idea, but this is fun.
We know it was you guys.
You left a goat behind with one of my men's fingers in its belly.
Did the goat give us up? I knew that goat couldn't be couldn't be counted on to keep its mouth shut.
If you don't give back what you took, I'm gonna let Holloway know that you disobeyed a direct order not to leave base.
Sounds like the only proof you have is a goat.
I know you guys hate us, resent that we're here, but we're just like you.
I'm not here to get rich.
What are you here for? Actually, I'm not entirely sure.
But I've been told it's essential to preserving the American way of life.
Well, we're pretty sure why we're here.
Look, I don't have whatever it is you think I have.
So I can't possibly give it back to you.
[WEIGHTS THUD.]
I'd love to stay, but it'd keep me from leaving.
[MUSIC AND SOUND EFFECTS PLAY FROM DEVICE.]
How can you sit there and play that thing for hours and hours? Like this.
What can I do for you, amigo? What the hell is it Sasquatch wants back so badly? An SUV.
Costs a ton.
No.
It's a drop in the bucket for SecCorp.
Maybe there's something inside it he wants back.
I didn't see anything.
Did you? Didn't really look.
Yeah.
Why didn't we search it before we abandoned it? Because it was maybe about to explode? We need to go back and search it where we left it.
Who the fuck cares what's inside that they want? We do.
Tell me why.
Because if we have it, then we can trade it back to Sasquatch.
For what? Fighting the Warlord's bodyguard? I'm beginning to experience the logic here.
Yeah.
Finish up here.
Let's go back to where we left it and search it.
That's my shirt.
- No, it's not.
- Yeah, it is.
It's been missing.
You lose shit all the time.
No, I got it from Khalil.
He gave me one, too.
[SCOFFS.]
Gave you one? For free? Yeah.
Son of a bitch charged me 20 Afghanis for mine.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's between you and him.
Gotta remember to discuss this with that man later, man.
Means so much to you, here.
I don't need your charity.
Sounds like you do.
No.
What I need is to figure out what the hell Sasquatch wants back so badly.
[LAUGHS.]
[BOTH EXHALE.]
I'm getting used to that thing of yours.
Not sure if it's good or bad, but if I ever give birth, I'm halfway there.
Sorry, baby.
Been thinking about my ETS.
What about it? Just that it's not far off.
Let's talk about something else.
Look, here me out.
What's the, um SecCorp bodyguard thingy you were telling me about? The High Net Worth Individual Protection Unit? Yeah.
You think you could get into it? Probably.
It's mostly just politicians and CEOs.
And they do celebrities, too, right? I got a buddy who works for Jay-Z and Beyoncé.
I think I know where you're going with this.
Damn straight.
Move to LA together.
Get a place.
I tried life back at home before.
It didn't work out too well for me the first time.
And I don't know if I'm ready to help movie stars get in and out of limousines all day.
Okay, so you'd rather stay here doing whatever fucked up shit it is you guys do? You know damn well that I'm ready to say good-bye to all those goddamn freaks.
Seen some of them do shit that'd get anyone bounced out of the human race.
Okay, then let's do it.
I think I can convince the company I model for to make me a brand ambassador.
So I can live wherever I want.
You got it all figured out, huh? That's how I'm wired.
Okay.
And don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't think that you were this into me.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, is that a problem? No, I really dig you.
Just caught me by surprise, is all.
Look, I'm gonna do this with or without you, but I'd much rather be with you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Guess that's as close to an "I love you" as I'm gonna get till we move this thing further on down the road more.
Just like having this big, nasty dog that scares the shit out of everyone, but with me he's warm and loving and makes me feel safe.
- [BARKING.]
- [LAUGHS.]
[ENERGETIC MUSIC.]
Looks like they didn't need that door.
That SUV was nonoperational.
No way anyone could've moved it without a big rig tow.
- Maybe SecCorp picked it up.
- Nah.
If they did, Sasquatch wouldn't be asking me where it was.
There must be some kind of tracking device built into it, right? I'm guessing the land mine took care of that.
So what now? Go back to Sasquatch and pretend like I have what he wants.
But you don't have it.
Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
Tell him if he fights our guy, I'll give it back to him.
But you don't have it.
Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
How long you think you could keep that up for? Hopefully till after the fight.
Not sure even you could pull that off.
Oh, have a little faith, amigo.
[BLUESY MUSIC.]
There's an ambulance missing from the motor pool.
Ask someone on the medical team what the hell is up with that.
Yes, sir.
Sergeant Cooper Roback! That doesn't sound good.
You're being placed under arrest for violating Articles 89, 91, and 92 of the UCMJ.
Surrender your weapons.
Sasquatch must've finally gone to Holloway and ratted you out.
Apparently so.
Sergeant Davis, you're free to go.
Nice.
For once, it's not the brother getting arrested.
Command, this is Bravo 1.
Be advised, I have eyes on [OVER RADIO.]
Bravo 1, say again all after "eyes on".
Bravo 1, say again all after "eyes on".
Over.
[LAUGHS.]
Wait! No! Don't shoot! Gets any closer, it's dinner! [SHRILLY.]
What? Why? Tali likes to put bombs in animals - and send them our way.
- It's not a bomb! - Says who? - Me! That's, uh I know this goat.
That's my buddy.
Has your "buddy" been out of your sight for longer than five minutes? Oh.
Yeah, I haven't seen it since last night, but Then I'm assuming Tali turned it into a suicide goat and sent it back your way.
No.
- Private! - That is not a suicide goat! Hey! Hey! Private Petrocelli! [MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
Private Petrocelli, move away from the animal.
[EMPHATICALLY.]
No can do.
Hey, Boz.
You don't have the bomb in you, do you? Liar, liar, light my fire Your masquerade of love is makin' me tired Come on, let's roll
You never should've been brought here.
- Oh shit! - [COUGHS.]
Stay with me, Buckley! Stay with me! [INTENSE MUSIC.]
Transporting rugs in body bags? This fuckin' place is like high school with IEDs.
Corporal Buckley! Corporal John Buckley is no longer with us.
Some think it is possessed by spirits.
Spirits? Now we got no way to get back, and we're not even supposed to be here.
Not to mention the ten pounds of hashish we got strapped to our backs.
Hashish? [INSECTS AND WILDLIFE CHITTER.]
Relax, kid.
It's too hot for that shit.
I ain't getting sniped by some dude in pajamas.
Uh, they're not called pajamas.
They're shit, what are they called again? Whatever they're called, I'd pay top dollar for a pair right now.
You know what? This is bullshit, man.
The road's too dangerous.
Let's get off it.
Come on.
You know, something is wrong with you guys if you ain't scared.
We're fucking terrified.
But we choose to spend what may possibly be the last few moments of our life not spinning around like a fucking idiot in 130-degree heat.
That wasn't very nice.
[SIGHS.]
You're right.
I'm sorry, kid.
I'm just tired and I'm frustrated.
I'm trying to figure out where the hell we - [GUNFIRE CRACKS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Contact? - No clue! - What do we do? - Stay down.
Son of a bitch.
Are you nuts? Get up, kid.
[LAUGHS.]
Boz! Boz? What the fuck is Boz? [LAUGHS.]
Hey, Boz.
[LAUGHS, PANTS.]
Hey, buddy.
[EXHALES.]
Oh, Boz.
I missed you.
What are you doing out here? You gotta meet my friends.
[CHUCKLES.]
Who's Boz? That [PANTS.]
is what I'm naming him.
Don't get too attached.
We may have to eat the motherfucker.
No.
No one's eating Boz.
Why the hell not? Because he is special.
[BOZ BLEATS.]
What the hell does that mean? I'm not sure yet.
[MUMBLING.]
All right.
[GRUNTS.]
- [LIGHTER FLICKS.]
- Well [GOAT BLEATS.]
[INHALES.]
I highly recommend.
Give me that.
[SNICKERS.]
No, thanks.
What do you mean, "No, thanks"? Never done drugs before.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
How'd you make it through high school without drugs? I was homeschooled.
On the eve of your almost certain death It's time to try.
[MELLOW MUSIC.]
[COUGHING.]
[LAUGHS.]
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
You're making your mother and I very proud.
[CONTINUES COUGHING.]
[ETHEREAL VOCALIZATIONS.]
Sergeant Alvarez, you're gonna be on the morning flight to Bagram.
- Yes, sir.
- From there, you'll be flown directly to Ramstein and then on to Fort Hood.
And get deported the minute my feet hit U.
S.
soil.
I have no choice in the matter.
Tried to get more details on your discharge, but information is scarce.
What I have been told is that your MAVNI status is being revoked by executive order.
Wouldn't get more specific than that.
This is straight up "send all the Mexicans back to Mexico" bullshit.
Neither of us is in a position to make that call.
Afraid I am, sir.
I was granted that status as a medical professional.
Unless you lodged some sort of complaint, I don't see how anything's changed.
Of course I didn't.
Your duty here for me has been exceptional.
Save for that incident on the roof of the DFAC.
But I'm gonna sweep that little matter under the rug.
Still sorry I missed it.
I'm sure someone has photos, sir.
I hope that you can straighten all this out one day to your satisfaction.
I doubt it, sir.
Hmm.
Just realized you're probably under no obligation to call me "sir" anymore.
You know, I might as well go back.
Because I have no fucking idea what kind of racist goddamn country I'm defending by being here.
I worked damn hard so I wouldn't have to scrape white people's shit off of toilet seats like my mom.
But now, even that's starting to look good.
As a black man who's had to deal with an ungodly amount of bullshit to rise to my rank, I'm sympathetic to your plight.
But as a colonel in the United States Army, I obey the chain of command.
Chain of command is telling me you're out.
Fuck the chain of command.
Dismissed.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Weird.
I'm still scared, but I'm chill.
I am scared, but I'm chill.
I still feel scared, but - We get it.
- I [GOAT BLEATS.]
Why didn't I tell my parents to go to hell? Why didn't I tell them, "I wanna go to high school like every other normal kid"? Don't beat yourself up.
High school wasn't all fun and drugs.
Yes, it was.
[CHUCKLES.]
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC.]
[ETHEREAL VOCALIZATIONS.]
You guys are so lucky.
Drugs are fucking awesome.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
First time I did drugs, I was 10 years old.
My dad gave me some of his meth.
Bullshit.
True story, man.
I broke my arm in a bike accident, and my loving father was too high to take me to the emergency room.
So he shot me up, killed the pain.
That works, I guess.
Well I mean, I didn't stop throwing up for days.
It was probably the only reason I didn't become an addict myself.
I think I really disappointed the old man.
That's a sweet story, but we need a plan.
Here's the plan.
We radio in, we tell them where we are, we spend the rest of our lives in Fort Leavenworth.
That that is a dumb plan.
You know, we're technically not really that far from base.
That would be true if we were fucking birds.
It's doable.
It's suicide.
Well, those are our only two options here, amigo.
Glad you got it all figured out.
Can I have some more hashish? [TENSE MUSIC.]
What the fuck is that? [SPEAKING ITALIAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[SPEAKING ITALIAN.]
[SPEAKING ITALIAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Italian, too? Uh, my Italian is not so great.
I think it is lovely.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Major.
Healing nicely.
That is good news.
I'm ready to go, then.
Whoa! No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Hey.
Whoa.
Get back in that bed.
You're far from ready to be discharged.
But [SIGHS.]
I am fine.
Breathe deeply for me.
[INHALES HARSHLY.]
Yeah, you have deep incisions in your lungs.
They need to heal.
Until they do, you're highly vulnerable to a lung infection.
But my white blood cell count is finally high enough that such a chance of infection is very small.
Where'd you learn to read a medical chart? Are you studying to be a doctor? No, but I have read books on the subject of antibodies and infection.
Nobody who's not studying to be a doctor reads books on antibodies and infection.
I grew up with access to many different types of books, but could not always choose which books they were.
Hmm.
Apparently.
My parents were teachers.
They ran a school in our village.
- "Were"? - They are both dead.
Killed by the Taliban.
Mm.
Well, very sorry to hear that.
You know, honestly, there's a level of brutality in your country I find quite shocking.
Yes, but I think that, as a people, we are not as afraid of death as you are.
Perhaps it is our curse.
Perhaps your fear of death is your curse.
Or perhaps our fear of death is what keeps us from blowing up innocent women and children.
I mean, I don't understand your country at all.
And yet, you are here.
I hate to think what it would be like if we weren't.
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
Brutality can take many different forms and is somewhat easier to condemn in others, no? You remind me of a clever old college professor I once had.
He knew exactly how to charm a wide-eyed 19-year-old girl.
I had a huge crush on him, but, not 19 anymore.
Just as beautiful now, I am sure.
I am right about my white blood cell count, am I not? You are not.
Maybe at Paghman, they had no problem sending you home to die, but here in my hospital, the whole point is keeping you alive.
I must go home.
Well, for the next few days, this is your home.
- [MACHINERY RUMBLING.]
- [WORKERS TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
What the Best guess? I think some sort of UFO crashed down there.
Could've been ancient aliens.
We assume our evolutions are on the same time-space continuum, but that's not always how it works.
You both need to cool it on the fucking comic books.
Then why don't you tell us what they're doing? Man, someone's been paying a lot of money to get SecCorp to clear and secure this entire area for whatever the fuck it is they're doing down there.
Poor Buckley.
Just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You think they killed him? Probably collateral damage.
Can they do that? They can do whatever they want.
Those fucking assholes.
Pretty sure they're the ones torched our ambulance, too.
Yeah, signed out under my name.
Thanks, guys.
SecCorp can not only do whatever they want.
They also get paid for it ten times more than we do.
Ten ten times? Dude like Sasquatch pulls in probably a quarter mil a year.
Shit.
Really? Either of you guys ever thought about working for them? What? Are you nuts? The mortality rate is through the roof for those guys.
They're always returning to base with dead SecCorp bodies strapped to the hoods of their vehicles like they've gone fucking deer hunting or something.
Thought about it.
[TENSE MUSICAL STING.]
I'm disgusted.
Didn't do it.
Just thought about it.
How come you never told me this? 'Cause I knew you'd react like a jealous little bitch.
Truthfully, I find this lapse in judgment shocking.
Go fuck yourself, amigo.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Shut that animal up, or I will.
Come here.
- Come here.
Shh.
- [GOAT BLEATS.]
It's okay.
It's okay.
Okay, we should keep moving.
Come on.
Why can't we just hitch a ride home with them? Because I don't think they're gonna take too kindly to us knowing all about that little covert op they got going on down there.
What are they gonna do? You what? You really think that they're It's the fucking Wild West out here for these psychos.
They've done worse.
Believe me.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Boz! Shit.
[GROANS.]
Should've ate that goddamn goat when we had the chance.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Hey, baby.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Get down, get down.
Come on, baby.
There you go.
Here's a nice goat.
Come on, come on.
What's he doing? Here we go.
Here we go.
- Here's a good girl.
- [GOAT BLEATS.]
[CHOPPER ROTORS THRUMMING OUTSIDE.]
[KNOCK AT DOOR.]
What is it? Urgent surgical.
We're already halfway through golden hour.
I'm retired.
It's a long story.
Get Roback.
He's absent from base.
- Doing what? - It, too, is a long story.
But if you do not go out, many people will be demanding to hear that story.
I'm not in the army anymore.
Well, then what can they do to you if you go? [TWANGY ROCK MUSIC.]
Here we go.
Here's a good girl.
Come on.
There we go.
Good goat, girl.
Look at that.
Yum.
[LOUD CRUNCH.]
Ow! My fucking fingers! - Oh, shit.
- Fuck! Boz.
[GROANING.]
It ate my fucking fingers! [COLLEAGUES SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
Let's go.
Let's go! Let's go! - You guys in? - Yeah.
[GOAT BLEATS.]
Perhaps you will be better off in your native land, no? Not going to Paris.
I'm going to Juárez, where my family is living in a migrant shelter.
But I appreciate trying to put a positive spin on everything.
I'm practicing unwarranted hopefulness for when, one day, I visit your country.
Not my country anymore.
What if I screw up again? Then another unlucky soul will lose his life.
Fuck you, Khalil.
That is more like it.
Fuck you! I like that! [SINISTER MUSIC.]
Get over it, kid.
We shouldn't have left Boz.
You know, now I know why he's here.
'Cause he is possessed by spirits.
- By Buckley's spirit.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Buckley's dead and you're high.
You and Buckley were pretty close, huh? We were battle buddies.
Yeah, well, now you got us.
Lucky him.
Boz saved our lives, and we just left him there.
And now he's gonna get eaten by wild boars.
It's tough all around, kid.
You have any idea where the fuck we're going? Sure do.
This baby's got GPS.
[DEVICE BEEPS SOFTLY.]
Didn't think so.
Look, heading northwest is all I need to know.
Soon as that poor motherfucker gets his hand bandaged, they're all gonna notice their vehicle's missing.
Screw those bastards.
They torched our ambulance.
Hey.
This thing drives really well.
[ALL SHOUTING.]
Anybody hurt? - I'm good.
- [GROANS.]
Me, too.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
- Whoa! - Fuck.
Wow.
My first IED.
If that had been an IED, it would've also been your last, kid.
That was probably just an old Russian land mine.
Well, you gotta love these SecCorp chariots.
This sucker's really built to survive.
The automatic door release is especially impressive.
Way better than that shit the army gives us to tool around in.
Yeah, well obviously what they're doing out here is a hell of a lot more important to everybody than what we're doing out here.
I'm telling you guys, that is a UFO salvage operation.
Ah, whatever it is, if SecCorp's involved, there's a shitload of money in it.
Probably puts you at a disadvantage with Durkin when it comes to Sasquatch, don't it? She's not like that.
Say what? Okay, she's a little like that, but it's not just all about money with her.
You and Durkin? She's hot.
Maybe keep that to yourself, kid.
I'm not interested in becoming Sasquatch roadkill again.
What's it worth to you? If I wind up dead, take care of this little shit for me, will you? - You got it.
- I am swearing total silence.
[GRUNTS.]
And we're not that far from base.
So what? We're just leaving this out here in the middle of nowhere? Ah, it's toast.
No one's moving three tons of dead metal anywhere.
Damn shame.
The blue book on this thing must still be in the six figures.
Hey, maybe if you join up with SecCorp, they might gift you one.
Keep that shit up, I'll think about it.
[GRUNTS.]
Ah, fuck.
[BLUESY MUSIC.]
We got two KIA, and our CO has head trauma.
Follow me! [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
You heard him! Let's go! Move out! How you feeling, sir? Got a little blowback from the IED.
Looks much worse than it is, Sergeant.
Just your scalp? Also having a little trouble moving my arms and legs.
Try moving them for me now.
[GROANS.]
My friend and I are gonna transfer you to a stretcher and load you in to the bird.
Appreciate your concern, Sergeant, but I'm gonna be fine.
Just give me a moment.
I think I can move my foot.
[GRUNTS.]
See? Went into shock mode, but I'm gonna be fine now.
Perhaps, sir, but you really need to stay still while we load you on.
- Leave me alone, Sergeant.
- Sir That's a direct order.
Sir, you need to get scanned as soon as possible.
From your inability to move your arms and legs, I'm guessing that you've got spinal damage, and we really need to know the extent of the damage before you possibly make it worse.
I lost two men, good men, in that vehicle in front of us.
I'm not abandoning the rest of them.
I just need a few more minutes.
I should be able to move my arms.
Just sustained a slight shock to my nervous system.
I don't think so, sir.
Well, I don't care what you think! Help me stand up.
No, sir.
Rogers! - Yes, sir.
- Help me get up.
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
There we go.
Sergeant.
I'm not gonna cite you for insubordination 'cause I believe you have my best interests at heart, but I'm getting back in this convoy and continuing on.
All right.
Let me go.
[GROANS.]
This is bullshit.
If he snaps his spine trying to move, he's gonna end up paraplegic.
I'm not leaving without him.
I feel this will be very difficult to accomplish considering the elements involved.
[GRUNTS.]
All right.
This time for sure.
[CHUCKLES.]
See? I told you.
Base.
Oh, sweet.
Let's hold off on the celebration.
Our troubles are far from over.
Come on.
[SUSPENSEFUL WESTERN MUSIC.]
[ROTORS CHOPPING RAPIDLY.]
We ready to take off? Not quite yet.
Sir, if you're gonna insist on walking off a possible spinal injury, at least let us be the ones to help you.
Fine.
That's a good idea.
- [GRUNTS.]
- Okay.
- [GRUNTS.]
- Careful.
Yeah.
Wha what's that? Mild pain pill.
Glorified aspirin.
If I can't get you to come back with me to the FOB, then at least take it for your scalp injury, which has gotta be hurting big-time.
It's throbbing like a son of a bitch.
Please, take it.
All right.
Enough of this.
You two can just load me in the vehicle.
I'll be good to go.
[GRUNTS.]
I would like one of these pills.
- Come on.
- What happened to the major? He decided to come back to the base with us.
As soon as I get my hands on a medical scale, start breaking this down, sell it.
Why I gotta be the one holding? Because as soon as Sasquatch gets back and tells Holloway I disobeyed her direct order, I'm going straight to the brig.
My bag will be extremely vulnerable to detection.
That's a good reason.
Just gotta figure out a way to make sure Petrocelli doesn't end up taking the rap for the missing ambulance.
Long as you're doing time, you could say it was you.
Was hoping we could come up with an alternative plan, but fine.
Let's try and move this shit fast, okay? Need the cash bad.
How's your mom doing? She got a call from the hospital where she's getting her cancer treatments.
Told her they're filing suit against her for unpaid medical bills.
Lawyer says they might take our house.
Can they do that? Goddamn motherfuckers can do whatever they want.
What are you gonna do? I'm gonna make this Sasquatch fight the biggest thing to ever hit this base and go all in.
- And if our guy loses? - He ain't gonna lose.
Okay, then.
- But what if he does lose? - He's not.
No, but what if he does? What are you gonna do for me? Don't know.
Exactly.
What are you bringing me, Sergeant? IED victim, head trauma, possible spinal damage.
And why is he unconscious? I administered a fentanyl pill, Captain.
That sounds a bit extreme.
It was the only way to bring him in.
He is a proud man.
All right, well, let's get him prepped for a CAT scan.
SÃ, Captain.
Oh, and you.
Yeah, don't go anywhere.
You wait for me outside.
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
The major's C4 was pulverized.
It's hanging on by a thread.
If he had so much as sneezed, it would've snapped and he would've had to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
That's how it seemed to me, Captain.
But convincing him was another matter.
Hmm.
We're Sending him to Landstuhl Medical Center in Germany.
They should be able to fuse a bone and keep him on his feet.
That's great, sir.
Sergeant Alvarez.
You know, my great-grandparents, they left what is now called Pakistan because they were being persecuted as outsiders even though they had been there longer than the people who were persecuting them.
They settled in London, where my grandparents were then persecuted as outsiders even though, in most instances, they had been living in that city longer than the people who were persecuting them.
I am descended from a rich tradition of tribal hatred that will probably never cease.
And it has all made me who I am today.
What exactly is that, sir? An angry bastard whose medical career and military rank are one big sod off to anyone who believes that I'm the reason that their lives didn't turn out the way they had hoped.
[HOPEFUL MUSIC.]
Make it work for you.
I wish I had a choice.
Exemplary work tonight.
[BLUESY MUSIC.]
[DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Lot of weird shit's happened since we saw you last.
Lot of weird shit's happened since I saw you last.
- Us first.
- No time.
Just wanted to find you guys and say good-bye.
Where you going? My MAVNI status was pulled.
Just because.
Colonel Austin's got me on the next convoy to Bagram.
From there to Germany.
From there to Texas.
From there, I get deported back to Mexico.
- What? - Oh, I'll be sure and send postcards from all the lovely places I visit.
Well, there's gotta be something you can do.
White boys.
Gotta love their optimism.
Never ceases to amuse.
Wait.
They didn't even get anyone to replace you? I'm sure whoever it is won't find all you guys' bullshit nearly as entertaining as I do.
Took us months to break you down.
Ain't looking forward to doing it all over again.
I have faith you'll succeed.
[STAMMERS.]
Did you try contacting Tried everything.
I love you, but there's nothing you can think of that I haven't thought of already.
Let's get this over with.
- Not gonna miss you.
- Not gonna miss you, either.
- Come on.
- No.
This is bullshit! I'm not gonna let them break up the band and stick you in a fucking detention center just 'cause some asshole in Washington wants to get reelected.
God, you're making this so much harder than it has to be.
- Just say good-bye - No! - and wish me luck, damn it.
- No.
I'm gonna figure this one out.
Well, while you're figuring it out, I'll be on my world tour.
[GRUNTS.]
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN.]
Wait! [LAUGHS.]
The colonel will be right out.
Thanks.
Yeah, thanks.
[EXHALES HEAVILY.]
Let's do this quick.
If this is a plea for some sort of last-minute reprieve, you're both wasting my time.
- It's not, sir.
- Then what is it? [CHUCKLES.]
Sergeant Alvarez and I are getting married.
I see.
We've been planning it for a while now, sir.
Scheduled it for between deployments, but obviously, the change in her status has moved those plans up.
You two are news to me.
Sir, we just assumed everybody knew about us.
We didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Didn't want it to get in the way of our duties.
Mm-hmm.
The way I see it, I got two options here.
Option one is to believe it, let love work its way, place Alvarez's paperwork without my signature at the bottom of a pile.
Option two? Option two would be to conclude that this is some bullshit and send Alvarez's paperwork with my signature pinned to her chest on to Bagram.
Oh, and institute a court-martial for you, Roback.
- This is not bullshit, sir.
- So you say.
Alvarez, you were not supposed to leave this base last night to go out on a mission.
You were not supposed to tend medical care to anyone, and you most certainly were not supposed to disregard the order of a superior officer and then drug said officer against their will.
I hate commanding medical units.
The entitlement doctors and medics possess drives me crazy.
You're as bad as the SecCorp guys.
You get away with murder because you can do something I can't.
Every time I'm in the OR, I feel like a goddamn eunuch at an orgy.
Useless.
And that's not what I'm used to.
That said, what you do is important Keeping men like Major Peters alive.
He and I served in Iraq together.
He's an outstanding warrior.
Heard he may have never walked again if you hadn't brought him in here.
You didn't have to go out on that mission, but you did.
I respect bravery and a sense of duty when I see it.
Military needs more people like you, not less.
You can see why I feel in love with this woman.
Shut the fuck up.
Yes, sir.
[EXHALES SLOWLY.]
Already down a medic without Alvarez.
Can't afford to take you out of commission, Roback.
So I choose to believe that this is genuine, that you are both in love, intending to marry, and will spend the rest of your lives together.
Thank you, sir.
Always figured there was something going on between you two.
Our love is real, sir.
Ooh, it better be.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Now I have no idea if this is gonna keep Alvarez from losing her MAVNI status But I guess we'll find out.
Either way, I'm gonna assign you both to a communal CHU once you're married.
Corporal Durkin will help you fill out the necessary paperwork for the marriage.
Congratulations.
Forgive me if I don't get you both a wedding gift.
Get out.
- Now.
- Yes, sir.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
We're gonna need to requisition a marriage certificate form so Sergeant Roback Let me take care of this.
I'll catch up with you in a bit.
Okay, sure.
[CHUCKLES STIFFLY.]
We should probably talk.
[LAUGHS.]
I knew you'd take this the right way.
You really believe it'll work? That's the plan.
Good luck to you both.
Thanks.
Now, I've been working on some new moves that I am certain will succeed where others have failed.
- Uh, no.
- What's wrong? I'm not fucking a married man.
- Yeah, but I won't really be married.
- Yeah, you will.
Yeah, but not in the emotional sense.
In the legal sense.
Yeah, but I'm only doing this to help Alvarez so she doesn't get deported back to Mexico.
And that's very sweet.
You're a hell of a friend.
Really, you are, but you'll still be married.
Oh, come on.
It'll be awesome.
It might even make the sex so hot that I might be able to finally get you off.
[STAMMERS, LAUGHS.]
After my dad left my mom for another woman, I promised myself I'd never fuck a married man.
And I meant it.
Well, how old were you? - Eight.
- I don't believe this.
Believe it.
Well, then I'll get a divorce after she establishes her citizenship.
All right.
Cool.
Yeah.
Uh - Yeah? - All right.
See you in a few years.
Let's try to keep in touch.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey, look.
If you're jealous, there's really no reason to be.
Jealous? Well, I Look, you're acting very emotional right now, and I get it, but if you just think this through, you'll realize it really doesn't change anything.
No, it changes everything.
I can't back out.
This is my idea.
[SCOFFS.]
Of course it was.
I have to do this for her.
Well, don't let me stop you.
I'm not ready to end this.
Get ready.
Wait.
I've been thinking about us.
And you're right, okay? You and I are a lot alike.
We both need the thrill of being with somebody spontaneous and unpredictable, and And not married.
[SIGHS.]
[QUIETLY.]
Grace.
Come on.
What happened to the young man in that bed? - He's gone, Major.
- What do you mean "gone"? Um, he's not there, no? No, I mean I didn't release him.
- He's my patient.
- He perhaps walked out.
Well, did anyone try to stop him? We think it occurred late of night.
Nurse which was on duty, she noticed nothing.
No.
This is unacceptable.
This happens many times with natives which are local.
You know this, Major.
There is nothing we do to stop them.
No.
I don't care.
That patient was under my care and in no shape to leave this hospital.
It's for him? God damn it.
Hey, what can I do for you, mate? Why don't we cool it on the chicken for a while? What do you say? I cook what they send me.
Is that why you're here? Bust my balls? If so, fuck off.
I have a proposition.
A proposition? [CHUCKLES.]
Not sure you're in a position to propose a proposition, mate.
Hear me out.
I've got 50 more chooks to part.
So it looks like I'm not going anywhere.
I'm proposing another fight.
[LAUGHS.]
Last time you did that, didn't work out too well for you.
This time, it will.
You hope.
I've got a fighter.
Well, whoever it is, best have more fight in him than your other half, Roback.
He does.
A lot more.
I think he could take Sasquatch.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
Who is this mythical creature? An LN from the village.
- I'd have to meet him.
- Of course.
You'd have to cover his end of the action.
Of course.
If you got that much, why aren't you fucking paying me what you owe? I'll be using it as collateral.
[EXHALES.]
That road eventually ends, mate.
You can't roll over debt forever.
Of course.
Comes a time to settle all accounts.
Of course.
- I'll think about it.
- You do that.
Hey, mate.
You got a stench of desperation about you.
Not how smart decisions are made.
Life lessons from a man can't even cook chicken right? I don't think so.
You're back, and the first person you come to see is me.
Must be important.
You have something we want.
Integrity? You know what I'm talking about.
No idea, but this is fun.
We know it was you guys.
You left a goat behind with one of my men's fingers in its belly.
Did the goat give us up? I knew that goat couldn't be couldn't be counted on to keep its mouth shut.
If you don't give back what you took, I'm gonna let Holloway know that you disobeyed a direct order not to leave base.
Sounds like the only proof you have is a goat.
I know you guys hate us, resent that we're here, but we're just like you.
I'm not here to get rich.
What are you here for? Actually, I'm not entirely sure.
But I've been told it's essential to preserving the American way of life.
Well, we're pretty sure why we're here.
Look, I don't have whatever it is you think I have.
So I can't possibly give it back to you.
[WEIGHTS THUD.]
I'd love to stay, but it'd keep me from leaving.
[MUSIC AND SOUND EFFECTS PLAY FROM DEVICE.]
How can you sit there and play that thing for hours and hours? Like this.
What can I do for you, amigo? What the hell is it Sasquatch wants back so badly? An SUV.
Costs a ton.
No.
It's a drop in the bucket for SecCorp.
Maybe there's something inside it he wants back.
I didn't see anything.
Did you? Didn't really look.
Yeah.
Why didn't we search it before we abandoned it? Because it was maybe about to explode? We need to go back and search it where we left it.
Who the fuck cares what's inside that they want? We do.
Tell me why.
Because if we have it, then we can trade it back to Sasquatch.
For what? Fighting the Warlord's bodyguard? I'm beginning to experience the logic here.
Yeah.
Finish up here.
Let's go back to where we left it and search it.
That's my shirt.
- No, it's not.
- Yeah, it is.
It's been missing.
You lose shit all the time.
No, I got it from Khalil.
He gave me one, too.
[SCOFFS.]
Gave you one? For free? Yeah.
Son of a bitch charged me 20 Afghanis for mine.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's between you and him.
Gotta remember to discuss this with that man later, man.
Means so much to you, here.
I don't need your charity.
Sounds like you do.
No.
What I need is to figure out what the hell Sasquatch wants back so badly.
[LAUGHS.]
[BOTH EXHALE.]
I'm getting used to that thing of yours.
Not sure if it's good or bad, but if I ever give birth, I'm halfway there.
Sorry, baby.
Been thinking about my ETS.
What about it? Just that it's not far off.
Let's talk about something else.
Look, here me out.
What's the, um SecCorp bodyguard thingy you were telling me about? The High Net Worth Individual Protection Unit? Yeah.
You think you could get into it? Probably.
It's mostly just politicians and CEOs.
And they do celebrities, too, right? I got a buddy who works for Jay-Z and Beyoncé.
I think I know where you're going with this.
Damn straight.
Move to LA together.
Get a place.
I tried life back at home before.
It didn't work out too well for me the first time.
And I don't know if I'm ready to help movie stars get in and out of limousines all day.
Okay, so you'd rather stay here doing whatever fucked up shit it is you guys do? You know damn well that I'm ready to say good-bye to all those goddamn freaks.
Seen some of them do shit that'd get anyone bounced out of the human race.
Okay, then let's do it.
I think I can convince the company I model for to make me a brand ambassador.
So I can live wherever I want.
You got it all figured out, huh? That's how I'm wired.
Okay.
And don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't think that you were this into me.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, is that a problem? No, I really dig you.
Just caught me by surprise, is all.
Look, I'm gonna do this with or without you, but I'd much rather be with you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Guess that's as close to an "I love you" as I'm gonna get till we move this thing further on down the road more.
Just like having this big, nasty dog that scares the shit out of everyone, but with me he's warm and loving and makes me feel safe.
- [BARKING.]
- [LAUGHS.]
[ENERGETIC MUSIC.]
Looks like they didn't need that door.
That SUV was nonoperational.
No way anyone could've moved it without a big rig tow.
- Maybe SecCorp picked it up.
- Nah.
If they did, Sasquatch wouldn't be asking me where it was.
There must be some kind of tracking device built into it, right? I'm guessing the land mine took care of that.
So what now? Go back to Sasquatch and pretend like I have what he wants.
But you don't have it.
Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
Tell him if he fights our guy, I'll give it back to him.
But you don't have it.
Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
How long you think you could keep that up for? Hopefully till after the fight.
Not sure even you could pull that off.
Oh, have a little faith, amigo.
[BLUESY MUSIC.]
There's an ambulance missing from the motor pool.
Ask someone on the medical team what the hell is up with that.
Yes, sir.
Sergeant Cooper Roback! That doesn't sound good.
You're being placed under arrest for violating Articles 89, 91, and 92 of the UCMJ.
Surrender your weapons.
Sasquatch must've finally gone to Holloway and ratted you out.
Apparently so.
Sergeant Davis, you're free to go.
Nice.
For once, it's not the brother getting arrested.
Command, this is Bravo 1.
Be advised, I have eyes on [OVER RADIO.]
Bravo 1, say again all after "eyes on".
Bravo 1, say again all after "eyes on".
Over.
[LAUGHS.]
Wait! No! Don't shoot! Gets any closer, it's dinner! [SHRILLY.]
What? Why? Tali likes to put bombs in animals - and send them our way.
- It's not a bomb! - Says who? - Me! That's, uh I know this goat.
That's my buddy.
Has your "buddy" been out of your sight for longer than five minutes? Oh.
Yeah, I haven't seen it since last night, but Then I'm assuming Tali turned it into a suicide goat and sent it back your way.
No.
- Private! - That is not a suicide goat! Hey! Hey! Private Petrocelli! [MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
Private Petrocelli, move away from the animal.
[EMPHATICALLY.]
No can do.
Hey, Boz.
You don't have the bomb in you, do you? Liar, liar, light my fire Your masquerade of love is makin' me tired Come on, let's roll