90210 s03e14 Episode Script

All About a Boy

Previously on 90210: I was thinking we could go on a yoga retreat.
It's run by this super-famous guru, Guru Sona.
- What are you doing? - I was Doesn't matter.
I wanna keep seeing you, but I'm not ready - for everyone to know I'm - Gay? Come on, Ivy.
Come on.
You just saved my life.
If you were trying to get your baby back, that would be a big story.
Well, I am trying.
I wanna get my baby back.
I wanna keep seeing you, even if we have to sneak around.
I've come into a lot of money.
I'd like to make a difference.
You're on a very spiritual path.
I really feel like I've had some realizations, and I wanna keep exploring.
- Come here.
- I shouldn't be here.
Ha, ha.
Yes, you should.
No, because winter break is over, and it's a school night.
Which is why I gotta get my kisses in now.
- Hold on, I gotta get that.
- Oh.
- Who was it? - Mm.
- Doesn't matter.
- Ha, ha.
- Wait, hold on.
- Mm.
Oh, we can't do this.
I'm the other woman.
I'm a cheater and I'm a liar, and I'm Your iguana is judging me.
Bernstein is not He's not judging you.
He's myopic.
He He's judging me, and I don't blame him.
This isn't me, Navid.
I'm I'm not the girl who messes around with her friend's boyfriend.
- Unh.
- You're right.
- Wait - This has gone on long enough.
- I'm gonna break up with her.
- What? Not when she's trying to get her baby back.
Come on, Silver.
Ade is delusional.
She's a high-school dropout with a ruined reputation.
- There's no way - There's no way, exactly.
When she finds out, she's gonna be devastated.
And if you break up with her on top of that, she'd fall apart.
I don't know.
I think Ade's a lot stronger than we make her out to be.
She can handle this.
Silver Does this look like the face of someone who can handle it? Okay, okay, that might not be the most empowering photo, but I'm telling you that Okay.
So, what do we do? I don't know.
What we have been doing, I guess.
Not that.
Not now.
Stop staring at me, Bernstein.
- Oh, hey, Katherine.
- Hey.
There you are.
So I have all of the scripts ready for the auditions tomorrow.
And I just have to tell you, I am so excited that you guys are gonna be doing The Importance of Being Earnest.
- I hope we do it justice.
- Ha, ha.
Did you get 15 copies of the Cecily sides for the audition tomorrow? Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
My bad.
I could have sworn that you said there were 14 girls auditioning.
I did say 14.
There's someone else who I want to audition.
- You.
- Really? Yes.
You're clearly passionate about the theatre, - so I thought I would give you a shot.
- Oh, my God.
It doesn't mean you have the part.
You still have to audition.
No, no, of course.
But thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
All right, good night.
- Ha, ha.
- Hey.
How was your break? - Ah, too short.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Boy, it's great to be back at West Bev, huh? - Mm, totally.
I'm psyched.
- Yeah.
It's a marvellous institution.
- God, I hate it here.
- It's the worst.
I miss Telluride.
You know, this past week was one of the best weeks of my life.
Me too.
I love being with you.
So, what was the Chem homework, anyway? - Yo.
What's up, T? - Hey, man.
How was your break? - It was all right.
How you doing, lan? - Hey.
You want to, uh, go practise for the surf meet after school today? - Sounds good.
- Awesome.
- See you, bud.
- Yeah, bud.
You know, things could always be like they were in Telluride if you'd just tell your friends about us.
You said you were cool with me taking my time.
Yeah, I am.
I just think you're underestimating your friends.
I'll just see you in Chem, okay? Hi.
- Did Naomi Clark just say hi to us? - I think so.
- Silver, Ivy.
- Wow.
You look amazing.
Very Madonna in her Ray of Light phase.
- Ha, ha.
- Well, thank you.
I feel good.
It's so good to see you.
- So how was that cult thingy? - Ivy.
Unh! Don't worry, I know what she means.
It was incredible.
Challenging but profound.
The guru is amazing.
She's a mentor and an inspiration.
Plus, she has flawless skin.
- So you haven't changed too much.
- Well, I have and I haven't.
I'm totally different and yet more myself than ever.
I was clinging to my leaves - when I met the guru.
- Your leaves? The guru uses the tree as a metaphor for life.
Shedding leaves is a part of the natural cycle.
I was in a bad place when I met her.
I was living out of fear, wasn't releasing my past, shedding my leaves.
So Guru Sona helped you shed these Leaves.
Yes, that makes sense.
- She helped me get over my fear.
- Is that right? Oh, by the way, I'm throwing a party for Guru Sona.
It's just a small get-together to introduce her to people in L.
- You guys have to come.
- Sure.
- Yeah, we're there.
- Wonderful.
Well, namaste, bitches.
Namaste, bitches.
That was so good.
That was so good.
So, uh, I gotta bail on surfing today.
Annie got a chance to audition for this play, The Importance of Earnest or something.
I don't know.
Anyway, she wants me to run lines with her, so - Do lines with her? What? - Run lines.
I guess it's a big deal.
She said it would mean the world to her.
It's a role that will get her noticed.
Oh, no.
I hate Hugh Grant.
- Hugh Grant is texting you? - No, it's Adrianna.
She wants to talk about something important tonight, and she needs to see me.
Sounds like she found out she can't get her baby back.
- Surprise, surprise.
- Yeah, exactly.
She'll be bumming.
When she gets depressed, she eats ice cream and she watches Notting Hill.
Oh, starring Hugh Grant.
- Hey.
- What's up? Got it all figured out.
I got your text.
Isn't this all a little cloak-and-dagger? Don't get me wrong, it's very sexy.
Cloaks not so much, but daggers Someone's blackmailing me.
Oh, my God.
- Are you okay? - No, I'm not okay.
I'm freaking out.
God, I'm so sorry.
What are you gonna do? I don't have much choice, do I? Yeah.
Well, I guess you were gonna come out eventually.
So it'll just be sooner rather than later.
- No.
I'm gonna pay.
- What? No, no.
Screw whoever sent you this.
Don't give them a dime.
I'm gonna give them whatever they want.
Well, do you like? Originally, I was thinking penthouse, Chateau Marmont, but the energy vortexes here are supposed to be amazing.
Oh, it's perfect.
I can feel the vibrations now.
Okay, the caterers are going to be doing kombucha cocktails.
Uh, food-wise, we will definitely have vegan options.
I have this guy who can make pretty much anything out of soy.
What do you think? - creepy or clever? - Okay, creepy.
- You're incredible, you know that? Well, party planning has always been my forte.
I'm sure, but that's not what I mean.
You're an extraordinary person, Naomi.
Well, I've learned everything from you, Guru Sona.
No, it's not something you've learned.
It's something that's inside you.
What? I think you're ready to hear this.
You're a special person, Naomi, and by that I don't just mean that you're adventurous and brave and honest.
Wonderfully, hilariously honest.
You have a spiritual gift.
You're on a higher plane than other people.
Oh, okay.
You know I have more shoes than Imelda Marcos and Kimora Lee combined, right? In the teachings of The Shining Tree, there's something, someone, we call the Golden Fruit.
A chosen person.
I've been on the path a long time, and I had just about given up on finding that person.
Wha? What, me? You have learned from me, Naomi, but I promise you, in time, I will be learning from you.
Wha? Okay.
Um, okay, uh Oh, yes.
I was wondering if you would wanna speak at the party tonight.
Would that be something you're interested in? I would love to.
I could announce my plan to open a new wellness centre in Topanga Canyon.
Oh, my God, seriously? When does it open? Hopefully soon.
The land I have found is expensive.
And, well, people haven't been as generous with material wealth as I had hoped.
- Ade.
- Oh! Yay.
You're here.
Are you, uh? You're not getting your daughter back, are you? Oh, no.
But I got a reality show.
These producers read my story in one of the tabloids, and they thought I'd be a great subject.
We film the pilot next week.
So you're not getting your daughter back? I gave her up for adoption.
You can't just ask for a do-over for that kind of thing.
So wait, did you ever even want your daughter back? Sure I did.
I mean But let's be realistic, you know.
I am a teenage recovering drug addict on the cover of every tabloid magazine.
I can't be a mother.
But I can totally be a reality star.
Uh, unbelievable.
I knew you'd changed and all, but this, this is like a whole new level of selfish even for you.
What? You know what? I'm, uh, over it.
- I'm finally over it, Ade.
- No.
Like, uh, 100 percent just done with it.
All you care about is yourself.
- That's not true.
I love you.
- No, you don't.
You love you, Ade.
You're vain, you're shallow, and you use people.
You're a user.
You've been using me this whole time.
I'm not using you.
Look at me.
- Good luck with your reality show.
- No.
I hope you get whatever it is you want, whatever the hell that is, but you can get it without me.
I'm finally done.
- Hello? - Finally.
Why weren't you picking up the phone? I did it.
I broke up with her.
You know, I wasn't planning to, but I got there, and it all made Thank you for calling, but I'm happy with my cable service.
Please don't bother me again.
I'm sorry.
I just can't believe this is actually happening.
I mean, it came out of nowhere.
I'm so sorry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Thanks for meeting me.
- Of course.
Any friend of Naomi's is a friend of mine.
Tell me what's on your mind.
Okay, so I hear you're good with this fear stuff.
Um, and I had this accident while I was surfing, and now I'm Well, I don't know if you'd say afraid of the water, but No, actually, I guess you would.
I am afraid of the water.
- Afraid? - Yeah.
Afraid enough to fake being injured.
But, um, that was like weeks ago, and I just can't keep it up, so I don't I just I can't stand not surfing.
Well, fear is only as real as you make it.
It's created in your mind, so it can be overcome by your mind.
- Have you ever tried meditation? - Meditation? No.
I need, like I need real help, you know? Not de-stressing or whatever.
Meditation is very powerful.
It can completely alter your state of mind.
It can be as powerful as a drug.
But the high is natural, safer, cheaper.
Here you go, Ivy.
Open your mind.
Okay, we are gonna have a double rehearsal tomorrow morning, so be on time, everybody.
Sorry, is that attitude I'm sensing? Do you think Bob Fosse ever took a day off, huh? No.
Who said gays can't be in the military? You were born to be a drill sergeant.
- It's so good to see you.
- Ha, ha.
Good to see you.
How was your vacation? Did you end up going to Telluride? - Yes, and it was fabu.
- Oh.
Did you go with your family? - No.
- Who did you go with? I guess you could call him my boyfriend.
Ahh! Shut up.
You didn't tell me you were dating someone.
- Yeah.
- Who's the lucky guy? Well, the lucky guy is a closeted guy, so we're kind of keeping it secret for a while.
- Oh.
How's that treating you? - Not fabu.
- Mm-hm.
- I like him.
I really like him.
But it's getting frustrating, you know, not being able to do the things that normal couples do.
Yeah, I hear you.
It's no fun hiding how you really feel about somebody.
Oh, my God, you're dating GF.
The short haircut? It's all making sense.
- Shut up.
I'm not dating a girl.
- Okay, so why the secrecy? Because until yesterday, - he was dating someone else.
- You're the other woman? Ah, don't make me feel worse than I already do.
I'm dying of curiosity.
Who is it? Well, I'm not gonna tell you.
You tell me who you're dating.
On the count of three, we'll both say.
Deal? - Deal.
- Okay.
- One, two, three.
- One - Rob Pattinson.
- Rob Pattinson.
Oh, if only.
Look, Annie, I owe you a huge apology.
I shouldn't have borrowed your clothes or copied your hair.
- I just I really wanted to be like you.
- Emily But it wasn't cool, the way that I acted.
And then I totally screwed up by not waking you up in time for the sweat lodge and I'm sorry.
And I'm mortified, and I swear to God, I'll just shave my dumb head if it'll make you feel better.
Please don't shave your head.
It's really not an easy look to pull off.
Is there any way we can just start over? Okay.
Oh, my gosh, The Importance of Being Earnest? I love that play.
Yeah, they're doing it at the Abbott Playhouse, and I'm auditioning.
- Oh, that's exciting.
- Exciting and incredibly nerve-racking.
You know what I used to do back in Kansas before auditions to steady my nerves? - Mm.
- I'd drink a can of orange soda pop - through a piece of red liquorice.
- What? That's how I got the part of Lucy in A Charlie Brown Christmas.
Well, I will consider that.
- Thank you, Emily.
Ha, ha.
- No problem.
Hey, do you want me to help you run lines? - Yeah, that would be great.
- Hmm.
My pleasure.
Hey, you.
How's it going? - I've been better.
- Tell me about it.
Yesterday I was eating takeout in my pyjamas for lunch, and now I'm here.
- How was your break? - It was interesting.
How was yours? Did you go skiing at your dad's place in Aspen? - Uh, no, Telluride.
- Hey, lan was there.
- Did you see him? - No, why would I see him? - No reason.
I was just - Look, I gotta go.
I forgot, I got this test thingy I gotta study for.
I'm sorry.
Back for her first big wave, West Bev's Ivy Sullivan.
- Let's go, Ivy.
- Right on.
- Yes! - There it is.
Come on, Ivy, you're ripping it up.
Let's go, Ivy.
Go, go, go.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Sullivan is headed for best run of the day.
Nice, Sullivan.
Fantastic comeback ride for Sullivan.
Yeah! - Way to go, Ivy.
- Oh! - Nice.
- Sullivan is back.
And that, my friends, is how it's done.
First heat for the men's competition.
Guys, we're up.
- Ooh! Good luck.
- Just, uh, watch and learn, all right? Actually, uh, there's this new psych-up thing I wanna do before the next round.
Uh, whatever you're doing, keep doing it.
You were crazy good out there.
See you.
You told someone, didn't you? Told someone what? You know what I'm talking about.
About what you saw at Ade's party.
You're lying.
Dude, I'm not.
Please allow me to flower you.
- Welcome.
Allow me to flower you.
- Check this out.
Navid's coming tonight, right? Yeah.
I mean, I assume so.
Please allow me to flower you.
At the end of the night, do you deflower us too? Sorry.
Too much spirituality makes me punchy.
Ha, ha.
Please allow me to flower you.
Only Naomi Clark could call this a small get-together.
- She's really into Guru Sona, huh? - Yeah.
- Hey.
- Oh! And it's a bit of a strange phase.
She hasn't had a mani and pedi in almost two weeks.
- Weird.
- Mm-hm.
At least it's not hurting anybody.
And it's definitely healthier than her past obsessions.
- Like having sex in tanning booths? - For instance, yeah.
Okay, I feel like they're about to sacrifice a virgin.
At least Naomi is safe from that.
Thank you.
Welcome, everyone.
I'm so happy to be sharing this evening with you.
Naomi, will you join me, please? I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Naomi Clark, this amazing, radiant young woman, for this party and for her extremely generous donation of ten beautiful and sacred acres where I plan to build my new wellness centre.
Ten acres? So thank you, Naomi.
Thank you all for coming.
And now please enjoy some spiritual dancing from our Eastern neighbours.
I'm so glad you're here.
This party is, um, really special.
- Hey, so that was a generous gift.
- No, it's just money.
- Isn't the guru inspiring? - Yeah.
She's I mean, she's really charming and charismatic.
- She does have really great skin.
- Mm.
But, well, how well do you really know her? - Is she a trustworthy person? - Yeah.
It's okay.
I know what you're talking about.
You're woodpeckers.
- What? - Doubters.
The guru warned of people who'd try to poke holes in the Shining Tree of Life.
I'm not gonna let you peck away at my faith, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get a kombucha cocktail.
- Emily.
What are you doing here? - Ha, ha.
Well, I tried to write my English paper, but I couldn't bear to leave you here alone without moral support, so look what I brought.
It's diet soda, though.
I think it'll work just as good.
- Emily - Open the soda, you bite the ends off, - and then you stick it in, and just - Emily.
I'm already feeling a little bit queasy.
- But that's really sweet.
Thank you.
- Oh.
Annie Wilson.
Oh! Here we go.
- And thanks again for coming.
- Please.
You're family.
I mean, you really are more important to me than some lame English paper.
Plus, you know, if I get a bad grade, your mom can always convince Mr.
Matthews to change it.
Ha, ha.
My mom? Well, hopefully, she'd have some sway over her boyfriend.
- What do you mean, boyfriend? - Annie Wilson.
- Coming.
What do you mean? - Oh, you didn't know they were dating.
- They're dating? - Well, I mean, maybe they're not.
I mean, I saw them making out on your back porch, so - Annie.
- What? - Everyone's waiting.
- I'm so sorry.
Here I come.
I'm sorry.
Hi, uh, I'll have three of whatever those are.
- Sure.
- Navid? Hi.
I've been thinking a lot about what happened, you know.
And I feel really awful.
You were right.
I haven't been Uh, those guys are waiting for me.
I daresay that it was foolish of me, but I fell in love with you, Ernest.
Worn out by your entire ignorance of my existence, I determined to I determined I'm so sorry.
Can I just start over? Go ahead.
I daresay it was foolish, but I fell in love with you, Ernest.
I fell in love with you.
And And I'm sorry.
Just one more time? Hey.
- Hey.
- How are you? Fine.
You don't sound fine.
You know, if there's anything going on, you can talk to me.
I care about you.
There's nothing you could say that would change that.
Look, I don't know what you're talking about.
- I'm, ahem, gonna head inside.
- I'm talking about you and lan.
- Who told you? - So it's true? - It was Dixon, wasn't it? - No.
No, I I figured it out when I realised you were both in Telluride.
I don't know what to say.
Which is why I didn't want people to know.
So How long did you know that? That you were into guys? I mean, did you know when we were dating? Because I didn't know.
When I told you I loved you, I meant it.
I didn't lie to you.
I guess I was just lying to myself.
But why? Because I don't wanna be gay.
I'm Spence Montgomery's son.
I'm supposed to be a tennis star.
I'm I'm supposed to get married and have kids and be normal.
- Teddy - When people find out I'm gay, that's all I'm gonna be.
- Everything's gonna change.
- That's not true.
Hey, your friends? We love you.
Dixon and Liam and Navid, they're great guys.
You can trust them.
Don't you think I want to? I just - I can't.
- Why? Because how am I supposed to ask someone to be okay with who I am when I'm not? There's nothing about you that's bad.
You're not selfish or a liar or a cheater.
Bad is not who you are.
Trust me.
You You're You're amazing.
And I love you even more now that I know who you really are.
From now on, no matter what you decide, no matter what you do, um, you're not in this alone, okay? - Don't slam the doors.
- Are you dating Mr.
Matthews? - How did you? - Oh, my God.
You are.
Unh! Emily told me she saw you guys making out on the back porch, which she decided to tell me right before my audition, which I then proceeded to screw up royally.
Oh, Annie, I'm so sorry.
I didn't want you to know until I was sure it was serious.
So is it serious? No, I don't know.
That's why I didn't tell you yet.
Look, l I do like him.
He makes me happy.
Are you okay with me dating him? I guess.
I mean, it's very strange, but if he makes you happy, then you should go for it.
So the audition wasn't great, huh? Ooh.
Picture a train wreck, and then picture a plane crashing into the train wreck, and then picture a bird flying overhead of the wreck and taking a giant crap on it, and that was me onstage.
Oh, it couldn't have been that bad.
It was.
I had to start over three times.
Okay, when you finally got through it, how was it? I guess it was okay.
Well, you know what they say when a bird craps on you.
- Mm-hm.
- It's good luck.
These cocktails are sublime.
Did you know kombucha is a tea fermented from a mass of yeast and bacteria? - Are you joking? - About what? Naomi, the vibe of this party is amazing.
Thanks, Sunbeam.
You know, you really inspired me tonight.
You were so generous with this party and the land you donated.
I decided to donate the money for the new buildings.
That's wonderful, Sunbeam.
How generous.
- Well, it's my obligation, really.
- Oh.
Because Guru Sona has helped you so much? Yeah.
And because Well, I guess I'm going to be a part of The Shining Tree for a long time.
Can I tell you something I don't think I'm supposed to tell anyone? Oh.
Guru Sona told me that I'm on a higher spiritual plane than most people.
I'm what they call the Golden Fruit.
That means the chosen one.
I'm like your spiritual leader.
Okay, these shrimp are the bomb.
And I'm, like, not somebody who says "the bomb," but these shrimp help me understand why people say "the bomb.
" Mm.
- What? - Does your mother not feed you? Hey, hey, hey.
Leave her alone.
She probably worked up an appetite - winning the surf competition.
- Yeah.
That's no excuse to bogart all the shrimp.
- They're made of soy.
- Dude, bogus shrimp? This is soy dressed up as shrimp? That is genius.
- What the? - I know, it's brilliant.
What's going on? Oh, my gay.
Wait, wait.
Does that mean lan and Teddy are, like? Yes.
So just smile and act normal.
- Gay? - Yes.
- Yeah, but? - Ask questions later.
Right now accept him.
He is your friend.
He's the same Teddy he's always been.
Wow, my gaydar was so broken.
You sure you're ready? Right now, yes.
In about ten seconds, not so much.
- So let's do it now.
- Okay.
No wonder I never slept with him.
- Hey.
- Hey, everyone.
- Hey.
- Hey, man.
There's room for you guys.
Can you? - Yes.
- Slide over.
Sit down.
Come on.
Well, I know this might be kind of a big surprise for everyone, but, um, I'm gay.
So that's that.
Is she all right? Oh, yeah, she, uh, had a big, uh, surf competition.
Um, sort of wore herself out, so she's either that or, ha, ha, totally stoned.
Hey, I'm sorry for blowing up at you.
It's okay.
- Sorry if I was acting weird.
- Don't worry about it.
- Ivy, you gotta take it easy.
- It's time for your speech.
Thank you.
Excuse me, everyone.
I just want to say a few words.
When I met Guru Sona, I was in a really bad place.
I was living out of fear.
I could not see clearly.
But now, thanks to her, I can.
I can see just what a phoney she really is.
You knew I was weak and you used me.
Well, I'm not weak anymore, but you, Guru Sona, are a con artist.
So you can take your mantras and your yoga and your Shining Tree of Life and shove it up your ashram.
And by the way, kombucha is made of bacteria and yeast.
It's okay.
She's troubled.
She needs to talk.
You better believe I'm troubled.
I want my money back.
Oh, I'm sorry, Naomi, but you already signed the deed to my foundation.
Like it or not, that land is mine.
You can't take my money.
You're a criminal.
That's right, Naomi, let all these feelings out.
Don't cling to your anger.
This is all part of your spiritual journey.
Screw my spiritual journey.
I want my money back.
Get off me! Get off me! Hello? I wanted to tell you I'm so glad I took a chance on you.
- You got the part.
- You serious? Yes.
Rehearsals start tomorrow.
Oh, gosh, thank you so much for letting me audition at the last minute like that.
You were very persuasive, and I'm glad.
- Have a great night, Emily.
- Ha, ha.
Oh, you too, and thank you so much.
- I shouldn't be here.
- Yes, you should.
Can you get a blindfold for Bernstein? Yeah.
Navid, it's me.
Your little sister let me in.
Not really in the mood to talk, Ade.
Neither am I.
Whoa, what are you doing? - No, hey.
- Ha, ha.
What do you think? Uh, I wasn't playing any games.
No, Ade, look at me.
I don't love you.
Not anymore.
You drive like a maniac, you know that? - Only when I'm happy.
- Ugh, I'm so glad.
Fasten your seat belts.
It's gonna be a bumpy night.
- All About Eve.
- See? I am teaching you something.
- Sweet.
- Yeah, you are.
- I couldn't have done it without you.
- You could have and would have.
Hey, don't you just feel so great? I mean, they call it "coming out" for a reason, right? Don't you feel so free? Actually, yeah.
You know, it's a relief the hardest part's over.
Now you don't have to worry about people blackmailing you with photos in your locker, right? Ha, ha.
I never told you I found the photo in my locker.
Oh, my God.
It was you.
Teddy, I was just trying to help, okay? It just It seemed like you were so torn up about being in the closet, and I knew that once you came out, you'd feel so much better.
So you blackmailed me? I just gave you a nudge in the right direction.
I had a friend take a picture of us.
I know, I know, it was stupid and really immature, but my heart was in the right place, Teddy.
It all worked out, right? I mean, your friends were so great, so no I trusted you.
I trusted you more than I've ever trusted anyone.
You can still trust me, Teddy.
I don't think I can see you anymore.
What? No, Teddy.
No, please don't do that.
I am so sorry.
Me too.
Goodbye, lan.
Ade, what's wrong? I went to Navid's, and it's really over.
- I'm sorry.
- That's not even the worst part.
He's cheating on me.
Wha? What do you? Why would you think that? Because I found this in his room.
Oh, man.