Adventure Time: Distant Lands (2020) s01e02 Episode Script


1 - PB: All citizens of the Candy Kingdom.
- LSP: Oh, my Glob.
[Indistinct conversations.]
See-Thru Princess! The sun has set! - Quit stalling! - Begin the retelling! Uhh, right GLASSBOY: Wait, wait! Hold on, you guys! Sorry I'm late, Princess.
- I was - TOGETHER: Reading.
- Book-lovin' Glassboy.
- Bibliophile! GLASS PERSON: Doesn't everything you read just leak outta ya? [Laughter.]
GLASS PERSON #2: That was a good one.
Okay, lights! Back in the old days the wasteland desert was struck with a bolt of magic lightning.
Kra-kow! And thus was born our glorious Glass Kingdom.
And for hundreds of years, things were cool.
Until from deep within the ancient furnace rose the dragon Molto Larvo! TOGETHER: Ohhhh! Larvo's fire gunked up our entire kingdom.
It was real bad times all 'round.
But the Lightning Lord above saw our trouble and sent us - a hero.
- [Screams.]
Marceline! [Laughs.]
Brave St.
Marceline came to our aid.
With her silver shovel and a holy song, she cast Larvo back into the depths of the pit.
[Crowd cheering.]
And once a year, we gather to sing her holy song to keep the monster locked up in the furnace.
But what if Marceline slayed Larvo? He hasn't been seen since that day.
We don't have to be afraid of the furnace anymore.
- What? - What are you talking about? I read about it in this ancient book.
The furnace used to fix people.
Broken people like me.
Don't kid yourself, crack face.
I like the way you are.
GLASS PERSON: Yeah, you have a great "personality.
" [Laughter.]
He does.
Choir master! Make the children sing! CHILDREN: So mad at the coconut I'm sick of living in the ocean So mad at the coconut I don't really care about the stomping on the coconut I don't really care about the stomping on the coconut Aw, yeah.
The pit! Hah! It's working! My life is turnin' around.
[Larvo growls.]
Hi, Larvo.
I'm just gonna fix my crack and get [Chuckles.]
crackin'! Ha ha.
Ha ha.
[Larvo roars.]
Aah! [Larvo roars.]
The key! Crack! [Roars.]
So mad at the coconut Aah! [Lights activating, sirens wailing.]
Crack! Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack.
Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack Oof! Gotcha, key thief! TOGETHER: Glassboy?! [Larvo roars.]
What have you done?! I just wanted to fix myself.
Your hideous face has angered the creature.
Hey, I'm sure he didn't mean No singing in the world can stop the horrors to come now! No, I can fix it.
I'll find Marceline.
Marceline lived a hecka long time ago.
And you're going to the jail tower for this.
What? I know she's out there.
She's probably slaying a dragon right now.
Raaaaaahhhhh! Pbht! Aah! No! Yuck! [Both laugh.]
Thanks, ya goof.
[Both slurp.]
SEE-THROUGH PRINCESS: Boo, I'm sorry, did I scare you? Are you just afraid of having fun? Ha, you don't think it's funny? Then just run away and leave me alone 'Cause I'm laughing, it's so funny I'm laughing, seriously I'm laughing, it's funny I'll be laughing when you leave me Ha ha ha ha ha Sorry, did I embarrass you? It's just so easy to do Come on, it's pretty hilarious when you run away I did it on purpose People have so many rules that I used to listen to But I finally figured out They don't know what they're talking about And I'm laughing, it's so funny I'm laughing, seriously I'm laughing, it's funny I'll be laughing when you leave me Everyone's so desperate to appear like they're serious Everyone's a scaredy-cat, and I find it hilarious [Guitar playing.]
How's the song coming along? It's pretty whatever, I dunno.
I rarely see you this focused.
Thanks, Peebs! Wait.
Was that a diss? No, no.
It's admirable.
You're so in the zone.
I guess I have been going for a new sound this time.
I really wanna get it right.
- Can I hear it? - Uhh alright.
[Guitar plays.]
Okay! Nope! No! It's not done yet.
Hey, it's alright.
I can't wait to hear it when it's ready.
[Larvo roars.]
I can't believe it.
Why would you release Glassboy?! We need St.
Glassboy knows more about her than anyone.
SIR SODA: Glassboy is a fool.
He'll take one step outside and get his gross crack stuck in his own foot.
He would! I know.
That's why I said it.
I just It's my right, y'know.
LIMESTON: Perhaps you should step down? No! He'll find Marceline! [Larvo snarls.]
Okay, but he's probably already dead.
- Hmph! - Princess! - Princess! - SANDY: Wait! We have more excellent advice! [Larvo growling.]
GLASSASSINS: [Shrieking.]
Marceline [Hissing.]
Huh? Aah! Who are you? Good evening.
And how you been? Are you the chump with dry skin? No.
I'm looking for Marceline.
Oh, quack! A boy with a head crack.
Hey! Marceline, Marceline.
The Vampire Queen! Through the Candy, you must go to the place where grass doth grow.
Thank you, strange duck.
How lucky for me that oblivious is he.
The boy is none the wiser of my cart of illegal moisturizer! [Indistinct conversations.]
[Slow music plays.]
SIMON: This is going out to a little girl named Marceline.
- Marceline - Marceline! Is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world? That must be so confusing for a little girl Hey, old guy! You know Marceline? And I know you're going to need me here with you Hey.
Time for you to leave! - Aah! - But I'm losing myself And I'm afraid you're gonna lose me, too - Get back here! - No! Huh? Whoa! [Grunts.]
This magic keeps me alive - But it's making me crazy - Old guy! Please! Oh! - Oomph! - Ugh! [Grunts, sniffling.]
So big Marcy fan, huh? [Knock on door.]
- Simon! - Hi, gang.
I was just playing out at Dirt Beer Guy's tavern with my best stuff, and, uh then this guy showed up.
Aaaaaaahhhhh! [Gasps.]
Marceline! [Panting.]
I'm just gonna to use your, um facilities.
So you know about Marcy then? Do I?! Half vampire, half demon, half god! Nice.
She single-handedly bested the horrible dragon Larvo! Larvo? The dragon has returned.
The Glass Kingdom needs you again, dude.
She did it! - Marceline, you won! - [Breathing heavily.]
Seriously? [All cheering.]
GLASS PERSON: Marceline! Marceline! Fine.
We're done.
[Cheering continues.]
Marceline saved us from the dragon! Uuhhh, I dunno.
We're sorry about your kingdom, kid.
But we know other heroes who could Pl-e-e-e-ease! [Glassassins hissing.]
Aah! Aah! What?! This is how I cope! Aah! Please don't! I'm too old to die! [Gasps.]
You're after Marceline? Too bad, goopy! She already left! ELISE: Now, next to the family of bugs, draw a silver tree.
Now what? Hmm.
Above that tree, draw a panda with a hat.
That's silly.
I want to draw a walrus in an overcoat.
No, no.
The panda is very important.
Okay, Mommy.
Give him a hat.
A biiiiig pointy hat.
You're gonna be a great artist when you grow up, Marceline.
I know.
Hey, why are we going this way? Because it's the fastest route.
Why do you ask? Nothing.
It's just I used to live around here.
What?! Really? When was this? I don't really wanna talk about it.
Ooh, so mysterious all the time.
Just like your song! Chk-chk! How ya doin' back there, Glassboy?! [Muffled talking.]
This is all gonna go great.
Wow! It's just as beautiful as I remember it.
The great ceremonial glass doorbell! I love ceremony.
First, approach the bell quietly and give it a single strike.
[Bell rings.]
And now for the best part! The welcome bowl! [Slurps.]
Mmm! Sand.
[Muffled talking.]
I was thinking, if we have some time left over after you defeat the dragon, then maybe [Muffled talking.]
Hey, Peebs, can we get this over with? [Coughing.]
No visitors.
We're in a state of emergency.
Yes! And we're here to help Do you have a royal invitation? Well, not officially, but No invite, no entry.
Get lost, pinky! Okay, that's it.
Actually, someone probably remembers me.
[Bell clangs.]
Aaahhh! The great bell! Vandals! When the other shards get here, they're gonna chiiiiiiip yoooouuuu uuupppppp.
[Motorcycle engine revving.]
[Tires screech.]
[Glass People gasping, murmuring.]
- How rude.
- Oh.
Where's the dragon? Be cool.
I'll handle this with diplomacy.
Apologies for the unorthodox entrance, Glass citizens.
SIR SODA: Surround them now! Uh-oh.
Filthy opaque intruders! Glassboy! Wait, I was being haughty! It's wonderful to formally meet you, Your Majesty.
STP! I'm so happy to see you alive.
SANDY: Well, we're not.
Glassboy snuck a pair of trashwater harpies into our perfect civ Into our perfect civilization.
Shards! Take him back to the tower, you guys.
It's Marceline! The real Marceline! Bah! This could be any run-of-the-mill cave hag.
Why should we believe you even? GLASSASSINS: Marceline [Hissing.]
[Glass People screaming.]
What?! Huh! [Gasps.]
Marcy! [Hisses.]
Heh heh.
They're jellybeans.
It's not gross.
Rrrrrrgghhh! [Sighs.]
Alright, whoever you are.
Let's play.
Ahh! [Laughs evilly.]
Hey! Get back here! Rrrahh! Why ya hidin', bro? [Grunts.]
[Glass ringing.]
Aah! Oh, no! St.
Marceline! [Glassassins hissing.]
Whoa! [Chord plays.]
Sound waves? Hey, Marceline! Turn up the reverb! [Loud chord plays.]
[Glassassins shrieking.]
[Glass People gasping.]
[Breathing heavily.]
GLASS PEOPLE: [Chanting.]
- Marceline! Marceline! - Bleh-heh-heh-heh! Oh, yeah! Oh, my gosh, she is so dope.
GLASS PEOPLE: [Chanting.]
Marceline! Marceline! By the way, I consider "cave hag" a compliment.
TOGETHER: Oooooooooo! Hmph! Next up? Taking care of that dragon.
GLASS PEOPLE: [Cheering.]
- Marceline! Marceline! - Oh, yeeeahhh! Redemption for Glassboy! Cleansing spray? Ack! [Coughs.]
Bleh! Ah, you got sprayed! That's a pretty high honor.
Whoa, wait.
Did you wanna be sprayed, too? No, no.
I'm happy that everyone's treating you so well.
I'm just [Sighs.]
It's like I'm nothing to them.
You're everything to me, okay? - [Larvo roars.]
- CHILDREN: So mad at the coconut I'm sick of living in the ocean How long will it take you to write a new incantation? Incantation? The dragon's grown too powerful to be repelled by your original holy song.
So mad at the coconut I'm sick of living in the ocean Dudes, your ceremony isn't working because you've been donking up the lyrics.
Listen up, y'all.
Um Peebs? Are you gonna be okay hearing this again? Do what you have to do, Marceline.
[Larvo roars.]
[Guitar playing.]
Don't you see? You're exactly what I don't want to be Honestly, you're a walking, talking Candy tragedy Can't believe that I almost thought That we were meant to be Can't believe that I almost thought you cared about me I'm so glad that I woke up I'm sick of living under your thumb I'm so glad that I woke up I don't really care about your stupid Candy Kingdom I should say that you're kind of a dictator in a way You're to blame You're a constant source of misery and pain What a shame That you're so stuck-up I know you won't change Out of frame No, I don't believe you cared about me 'Cause you left me drowning I'm so glad that I woke up I'm sick of living under your thumb I'm so glad that I woke up I don't really care about your stupid Candy Kingdom I don't really care about your stupid Candy Kingdom You think that you're so clever Why you scared of looking so dumb? I don't really think you're fit to rule Your Candy Kingdom We were getting closer, you should know that I am so done I don't really care about you No, I don't really care about I don't really care about you You You're self-obsessed and all the rest, and, PB I'm so over it I'm so glad that I woke up I'm sick of living under your thumb I'm so glad that I woke up I don't really care about your stupid Candy Kingdom I'm so glad that I woke up I'm sick of living under your thumb I'm so glad that I woke up I don't really care about your stupid Candy Kingdom [Indistinct conversations.]
I guess you've still got it.
Listen, Bonnie you know all that stuff I said GLASSBOY: Oh, I get it now! That song's about her, isn't it? [Laughter.]
Of course.
It's not even subtle.
[Glass People screaming.]
Why didn't it work? It's been like a million years since that song worked.
Mind if I try? What? [Calling.]
[Larvo growling.]
The Morrow was following us with that the whole time? Peebs, were you expecting me to fail? We never did figure out why your song worked in the first place.
My next-gen barrier will buy me time to figure out Larvo's true weakness.
SIR SODA: The outsider's song just made the dragon angrier and sassier.
LIMESTON: What's your plan now? - Alright, um - Marceline can do it.
Tell them, Princess.
Princess! Tell them! Tell them, Princess! Tell them! Put a cork in it, Glassboy! Please! Just get out of my face for five seconds! [Larvo growling.]
Ah! I got this.
I got this.
I got this.
It has to be me.
I'll write a new angrier song.
The other day! You used my brush! It was okay, I didn't mind [Groans.]
I'm just not that angry young punk anymore.
It's like I don't even remember what it's like to be hurt and sad.
- Mm-hmm.
- No.
It's still in me somewhere.
I just have to go find it.
"Go"? I have to go back.
Back to the place where I was hurt the most.
Marcy! This is a bad idea! [Motorcycle engine revs.]
[Larvo growling.]
That's it! That's the hat panda! Look, Mom! You're a regular cartographer, Marcy.
We'll be at the secret clubhouse party in no time.
[Stomach gurgling.]
Mom, will they have food there? Every party has food.
All the good parties, anyway.
[Stomach gurgling.]
Hey, let's play a game.
I see something that starts with an "S.
" Huh.
Is it that scorpion? No.
Is it that skeleton under the scorpion? Maybe we should play something el [Coughing.]
Ooh! I see something that starts with a "P.
" Puppy! [Giggles.]
This puppy's funny-looking.
Whazzaaap? Uhh! W'zup?! [Growls, shrieks.]
Whoa, mama.
Bad doggy! Huah! Marceline! [Growling.]
[Breathes deeply.]
Mommy? Why are you looking at me like that? Whazzaaap?! [Whimpering.]
[Engine starts, revs.]
LARVO: [Growling.]
Mmmmm-hooah! [Shrieks.]
You're so competent.
Yeah, I'm a pretty good stabber.
Thanks for volunteering.
The giant baster seems excessive.
Check, check.
Is this what passes for music in Cotton Candy Land or whatever? Wha Wha What's this, now? [Hisses.]
Look out! Aah! Eugh! You've gone warped, Princess.
First Glassboy, then that fakey Marceline.
Now you're putting faith in a princess even more helpless than you, okay? SIR SODA: So either grow up or step aside.
[Guitar playing.]
Oh, geez, oh, geez, oh, geez, ahh, geez.
Don't worry, good people! I've got this under control.
Just need a sec.
Yo, Peebs, listen to this.
Why are you acting like this? Oh, come on.
You love it.
They'll all be killed if I don't figure out how to defeat the dragon.
They're made of glass.
They break.
- Who cares? - I do.
They need me.
- Ah - Aah Aah, that hurts Stop it.
I don't have time for you right now.
Ugh! why are you being such a bummer? Could you just get out of my face for five seconds, you jerk?! If you didn't want me here, then why did you ask me?! I didn't! They called for me, and you tagged along.
Go home.
I honestly can't focus with you here acting like monster trash.
Well as long as we're being really honest [Guitar strumming.]
[Guitar playing.]
Come on.
Come on, come on.
Mom? Am I a scary monster? Marcy, come here.
Mommy! [Gasps.]
Hey, sweetie.
I'm gonna fix this motorcycle up for us, but it's gonna take a while.
Here's a special VIP card to get into the secret clubhouse.
- What? - [Coughs.]
You're You're gonna be late for the party.
Follow the map.
But I wanna stay with you.
Marceline! I don't have time for you right now! Secret clubhouse! Boop! Hello? [Giggles.]
I see you.
Party! I've figured out a way to stop Larvo for good.
It'll be risky.
Risky? I'm on thin ice as it is.
I wish I could read lips.
- You're a princess.
- Yeah.
Which means protecting your people no matter what.
Even when your vampire girlfriend bails on you.
Oh! We need a system to convey a butt-ton of liquid.
But I don't have the resources here.
My people can help.
GLASS PEOPLE: [Chanting.]
Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! SEE-THRU PRINCESS: I have a plan to defeat Larvo.
Based on my research! And it's going to require all of us.
What's with the touchy-feely inspirational jazz? Can it! I'm over you thimbleheads always chipping my cups.
This is a crisis, and I intend to lead with transparency.
Role model! Right here.
Hm! Red light, red light Always blinking Red light, red light What are you thinking? Up above the pork and beans Like a clown nose in my dreams Whaddaya think, Lemmy? "That was great.
" "Yeah.
You're so good at music, Marceline.
" "Why is your mom scared of you? Where is she?" She saw what I did to the mean dog.
Then she found a scooter, and "That was her ticket out of town.
" "You scare everybody away, Marceline.
Just like your dad.
" [Sniffling.]
"Hey, Marcy did that on purpose.
" Like a funny joke.
" [Chuckles.]
That's right.
When people get scared and run away, it's because I want them to! [Chord plays.]
[Engine shuts off.]
What's up, Lemmy? "Hey, dude.
" This thing always got on my nerves.
WOMAN: One new message.
ELISE: Marceline you're there, aren't you? Brave girl.
I'm sorry I had to trick you.
But you're tough enough to handle this world on your own.
And it's not gonna change you because you have a good heart.
I love you, Marceline.
I hope you can forgive me.
WOMAN: End of messages.
Mom [Door creaks.]
[Footsteps approaching.]
Mom? It's me, Glassboy! [Laughs, grunts.]
Ha ha! I heard something weird, so I came in.
I wanna be alone right now! Please don't send me away.
I-I'm just like you.
You don't say.
I thought I was sad that See-Thru Princess turned on me, but now I know it was just punk-rock anger.
See-Thru, I see right through you And someday, everyone else will, too That's not a gleam, it's a glare Unh! You don't care It's like you're not even there And I can't tell if you're with me It's a pity You're so empty And I see through See through youuuu Ah! [Music stops.]
Is that really what I sound like? Oh, what am I doing? Huh? We're here to reconnect with your punk-rock anger! Nah.
I need to be with Bubblegum.
She's good for me.
It's not her fault I've got baggage.
Well when we get back, maybe I can show you all my fave manga.
Uh Can't run.
My bass.
My bass! [Larvo growls.]
Ready? Hm! Here it comes.
He got really big.
Down here, Larvo! [Buildings shatter.]
Now! [Roaring.]
[Glass People cheering.]
I did it! All that root beer came from my body.
[Glass People screaming.]
[Glassassin roars.]
Any other day I would totally annihilate you for wrecking my stuff.
Wha But Bonnie is more important.
Ha ha! Eat it! [Glassassin roars.]
Aaah! The molten one! [Larvo growling, Glass People screaming.]
[Glass shatters.]
Caution! Broken glass! It's just as we predicted.
It's going to destroy us all.
Now's our chance to act.
TOGETHER: [Screaming.]
Run! Run! Run! Oh, no.
I'm too late! [Growling.]
SEE-THRU PRINCESS: Run to the bridge! Egress! Egress! - Bonnie! - Marceline! Glassboy.
- Princess.
- Quick! Get out your bass and start singing.
- My bass is smashed.
- Aaah! You loved that bass.
Well, um then your new song must be extra angry and sad.
It feels more like a wave of acceptance has washed over me.
Nooooooo! Hey.
I wrote a hateful song.
See-Thru! I see right through Look out! [Growling.]
[Both grunt.]
This thing really hates me.
'Scuse me.
Whoo! It's me you want! Leave my princess alone! - [Roars.]
- Aah! This is the last place the beast will Huh? [Roars.]
I didn't think this through! Glassboy! Yeah, get in that death hole.
- So what now? - The forcefield! We'll crank it all the way up! Yes! We can trap them both in there forever! [Electricity crackles, rumbling.]
- Aaah! - Whoa! Someone turned my forcefield on full blast! [Energy humming, rumbling.]
Uh, I think someone broke this.
Bail? [Explosion, all scream.]
[Rocks thud.]
PB? [Larvo grumbling.]
Is he breathing? No.
But that's okay.
I don't think he breathes.
We gotta find a way out of here.
[Groaning, roaring.]
Aah, stop! The forefield has destabilized the entire chamber.
Why did I even create a "full blast" setting? Live and learn.
Hmm This is pretty bad, huh? Yeah, pretty bad.
Probably should've tried singing anyway.
I was sorta hoping your song wouldn't work so I could finally show the Glass Kingdom how much of a scientific genius I am.
Well, mission accomplished? [Chuckles.]
I'm so sorry I left you alone on this.
It's just being back here where all this bad stuff happened [Sighs.]
My mom and I didn't talk about bad stuff.
When she got really sick, she didn't even tell me.
She meant well, but I think it messed me up about being honest about my feelings.
You and me are in a good place now.
Well, not right now, obviously! [Rumbling, rock thuds.]
You know if this is really the end, I have something I want to sing to you.
[Guitar tuning.]
[Clears throat.]
I know we'll never grow old together 'Cause you'll never grow old to me You're the pink in my cheeks And I'm scared, 'cause that means I'm a little bit soft But don't beat yourself up, Bonnie It wasn't just the sun that I was hiding from We were messed up kids Who taught ourselves how to live And I'm still scared that I'm not good enough I've always felt like a monster Long before I was bit But only seen as a monster Let's just say I'm used to it And I grew tough 'cause love had only hurt me back But loving you's a good problem to have And I'm used to that But I could get used to this Yeah, I'm used to that But I could get used to this And I know we'll never grow old together 'Cause you'll never grow old to me You're the pink in my cheeks And I love that it means I'm a little bit soft You're the pink in my cheeks And I love that it means I'm a little bit soft Oh! Marceli Oh, Glob! [Roaring.]
I love you, okay? At least they'll find our skeletons entwined forever.
I don't have a skeleton, but that's pretty romantic! [Roars, whimpers.]
[Energy pulsing.]
Stay back! La la la la la la, laaaaaaa La, la la la laaaaaaa Look, it's got a mushy center.
- Just like me - Yeah! We can totally kill it now! Peebs, no.
La la la la la la laaaaaaa SANDY: Shutting down the barrier? Um, it's not advisable, Majestyyyy.
Shut your blow holes! You trapped my best friend in there to die.
Shame! Yo.
My knife.
[Electricity crackles, explosion.]
[All scream.]
La la la, la, laaaaaaa La la la la la laaaaaaa GLASSASSINS: Huh? La la la la la, laaaaaaa Aww! La la la la la, la, laaaaaaa This is going to cost millions to reglaze.
- Glassboy - [Gasps.]
My Princess! You're You're Highness, are you alright? What a tragic turn.
I am so sad to tell you that your reign is over.
On account of that nasty crack.
No way.
[All gasp.]
She got pants now.
We were taught that cracks make us less, but one brave boy showed me the truth.
That's you, Glassboy.
Me! You don't need to hide that crack ever.
[Crowd murmuring.]
All of you? Why were you hiding them? I was afraid people would judge me the way I judge them.
Me too! No, no, no! Everyone, stop taking your clothes off! Hey, Sandy, what's this? It's nothing! You have one, too! Frosty jerk! How dare you! [Glass rattling.]
[All gasp.]
ALL: Oh! [Sobbing.]
Sorry I ever doubted you.
Yeah, sorry for bullying you your whole life.
[Hoofbeats approaching.]
Marceline, you're in grave danger! But don't worry.
I brought help! Hooah! Wee-oo wee-oo wee-oo wee Unh! Hey, PB.
Y'all got monster trubs? PB, are these friends of yours? Have at you.
Aah! Come on.
These are my people.
And I'm really proud of them.
That man's towel just blew off.
FINN: My bad.
GLASSBOY: Turns out this broken glass will not be healin' And I'm just tryna put away my feelings for you 'Cause I messed up so bad, thought I was dreamin' I'm not sure Of who I am anymore But, honestly, I think you are the coolest And you don't even mind that I'm a broken lost soul And I don't wanna sound all sweet and sappy But all I wanna do is make you happy You know! [Bowls shatters.]
[Heads shattering.]
Shards? [Glass rattling.]
Yeah, all I really wanna do [Sighs.]
I must look a real mess.
Nuh-unh, you always look great after fighting a monster.
You think so? [Laughs.]
This is nice.
We never get to dance.
You're always the one performing.
I have a lot more songs I want to sing.
Reeeeeeal sappy ones.
I've always loved your songs.
eternity with you Yeah, all I really want to do Is spend all of eternity with y-o-o-ou
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