Afro Samurai (2007) s01e01 Episode Script
Number Two
Wait here son.
It'll soon be over.
Remember me, number one? I've been waiting a very long time for this.
I know.
But it all ends here Finally, I've got the title of number one in my hands.
Aaarrghh With this band, across my forehead.
I will rule this world, as God himself.
It's unfortunate that you had to see this boy.
This moment will always haunt you.
You will be consumed by hatred for me.
Challenge me when your ready to duel a god.
This is the end of the road.
Afro Samurai! We got twenty guys here, all armed to the teeth.
We got you surrounded.
We never said we were going to play fair.
I got no idea why, but some pretty rich folks want to pay Top Dollar $ for that cloth.
Why don't ya.
.
give it up, kid.
Everybody's a tough guy Ok, have it your way.
Gear up, boys! I'd put both hands on that sword if I were you.
Punk ass motherfcker! What the?! That's impossible! You son of a freaking mother, I'll cut you, I'll cut you! I took this job because I thought you were just A Legend.
Just a story.
A story to scare little kids.
But you're the real deal.
The demon who dares to challenge a god.
So what the hell do you want?! Don't seem to me like you're out to make this stinkin' world a better place.
Why you gotta kill all my men? Why you gotta kill me? Nothing personal It's just revenge Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Afro!!! That was off the chain! Cold blooded! Damn Motherfcker! Excuse me for probing, but what you just did back there, was it absolutely necessary ? I'm beginning to wonder if you got any feeling for human life left in you at all! Hey, hey, hey! If you don't stop dissing me I'm gonna stop following your brutal ass around! Then, who's gonna watch your back.
Anyway I did check some Monk looking bald motherfcker in the tree chattin' on his cellie while watching your killing spree.
Don't that bother you? Sure as hell bothers me.
Yo! Yo! Hold up, hold up! Afro!!! Yo, Yo, Yo! Freakin' News just in! Huh? What the? Easy kid.
What's the problem? It's him, he's here! He's here! [Wait! What?.]
What the hell are you talkin about punk!? Ain't no doubt about it Man! Here, drink up.
He had this Afro hairdo.
You know what I'm saying? With a kind of greenish tint to it if you look real close! And he was wearing this freakin' Head Band with a number two stamped across his freakin' forehead Did you say Afro Hairdo? greenish tint? The Head Band, With a number two written across it? Make no mistake! That's him.
That's the number two.
The Afro Samurai.
THE Afro Samurai?! The one who cut down the assassins of the Western Guild? The Number 2 Swordsman of the world? He's cold-blooded, he killed the Brothers of Osara in only 5 moves.
So, don't think twice about crossing swords with that guy.
What a bunch of sissies.
Screw that, cowards! You guys just watch while I take that Number 2 Head Band That's all Bullsht, you asholes just watch I'm gonna take him out.
It's gonna be me! Let me take him baby He's all mine! Nah, I'm gonna be the Number 2! All of ya just shut up! Cause while you talk and talk and talk, my spear will be splitting his head in half.
Just like this! Hey Man! Get that rusty piece of junk out of my face, man! Maam? Yeah? Why is everyone after this? Afro Samurai? You don't know? You really must be from out of town.
We got ourselves a Legend around here.
A Legend? Look, Two Ancient Head Bands.
The Number One and the Number Two.
If you have it Number One, you're like a god.
Nobody can touch you.
Except, he who wears Number Two.
- The Trouble with that is - The Trouble with that is that anyone in the world can challenge you.
Clever boy, you're interested? The Life of Number Two? Constant combat? But ultimately, the path a warrior should take and the reward is to become a god.
Yep, they say that Number One waits at the top of Mount Shune.
You can't miss it, it's got like two huge handlike things.
Get out of my way! Take it easy Mack! You ain't the only one here who thinks they can take him.
Aaagghhh my eyes! Freakin' son of a Warmed up yet?? Hey! Hey! You wanna fight? Take it outside! Lemonade.
Ice Cold Coming right up.
2.
50, please.
Lemonade, hehehehe Hey Man! Shut the hell up! Now look what we got ourselves here.
Here you are, Lemonade.
Drink that, boy.
Hehehe You want another one? On his tab? Holy! Here you are, Lemonade.
That's gonna cost your more than 2.
50.
And I think that guy's tab has run out.
That's very cool! Oh, refreshing.
Good you'll need it.
You still got a long way to go, Number Two.
Pass the mountains by way of the Lowdown East path Beware of the Cliffs, and know that they are waiting for you.
Thanks.
Hey Afro! Yo Fro Boy! You sure that this is the right way to go? These cliffs don't look so safe, man.
And one other thing Umm, don't look now, but I think we got a stalker.
A crazy fanboy from the tea house.
And he don't want your autograph.
More like an epitaph.
Now I suggest you keep stepping because this one is a stone killer.
For real! Yo! Didn't you hear me? Get going! I'm trying to pull your coat! Oh! All you gonna do is ignore me? Alright! Alright! You wanna blow it for me and you.
Shut up.
Well fine! Go get your lank ass killed then! But don't say I didn't warn ya! Later! I am called Soshun.
I come from the land of the great weapons masters of the West.
I see you wear one of the Head Bands of Legend that leads to godhood.
So? Shall we? Afro! Don't fight this fcker! He got arrows and grenades and sht! You ain't got no chance dude! Ahhh! Is he dead? Don't tell me he's dead! Is he dead!? I asked you a question! Your jumping is only putting you directly in the line of my fire Samurai fool! Where will you go now, great Number Two Warrior? My aim is to only move forward.
Whoo! Brother! You did your thang! I thought you was dead fo' sure! Yo! My Man! III I gots to tell ya, I don't know if it's your natural pheromones, or you need a shower But Assassins are coming at us like flies on hot sht! I gots to say, there's something strange still out there.
[Cellphone ringing.]
Yes? It's me, Brother Two.
Yeah.
.
Uhu I see.
Carry on then.
And remember you are among the righteous few.
And we have placed great faith in your ability to track him.
Because the Number Two Warrior has now begun to move in earnest It seems our cherished brother's work is now Truly beginning.
The Number Two walks the path Lowdown East.
In the Great Ancestry Direction.
Our Number 2 Warrior's journey will no doubt end at the Great Valley before the high slopes of Mount Shune.
We're getting almost all the data we need.
The man named in heaven has spoken and agreed with us.
The Righteous, the Empty Seven! Watch over us, The supreme power! Let us pay homage to the holy way Let us close our eyes and feel the power.
Let the divine flow within you.
Let the holy wake all of you.
As the divine wheel has ordained.
We have risen from the ashes from this condition of oppression.
We have come across But we will seize the crown And the prophecy shall be fulfilled eye for an eye Number Two shall know no mercy at the hands of the Empty Seven.
Prepare for the Final Struggle! Freedom is in our reach! The supreme power of God .
.
shall be ours! Amen! Have you heard my Brothers!? Yes Do you hear the word? whoo! Maaan, all these killings are starting to depress me.
Know what I mean? Afro? Oh! More cold shoulder, huh? Yo Homes, you walking a little funny? What's up? Whoa! What's up? Was there something in the lemonade? Oh snap! You fcked up homes! Oh look! Oh sht! It was one of those damn arrows! Come on Afro! Snap outta of it man! Snap outta of it! He's injured, I can take him.
What? Hey, hey wait! Wait! It's too early! Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Could you give a brother a break?! Yo! Can't you see the man is down?! What about Honor, and Fairness, and sht!? Hey, is that a motherfckin' RPG?! You got a motherfckin' RPG?! An RPG in the motherfckin' backpack?! Wait, wait, wait! wait! wait! Why can't we talk about this? You're not gonna monologue or nothin' and get a bad guy speech? Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! That fool! He may have destroyed the Second Number Two Head Band as well! To Be Continue AFRO SAMURAI Subtitled for your Enjoyment by: omz007
It'll soon be over.
Remember me, number one? I've been waiting a very long time for this.
I know.
But it all ends here Finally, I've got the title of number one in my hands.
Aaarrghh With this band, across my forehead.
I will rule this world, as God himself.
It's unfortunate that you had to see this boy.
This moment will always haunt you.
You will be consumed by hatred for me.
Challenge me when your ready to duel a god.
This is the end of the road.
Afro Samurai! We got twenty guys here, all armed to the teeth.
We got you surrounded.
We never said we were going to play fair.
I got no idea why, but some pretty rich folks want to pay Top Dollar $ for that cloth.
Why don't ya.
.
give it up, kid.
Everybody's a tough guy Ok, have it your way.
Gear up, boys! I'd put both hands on that sword if I were you.
Punk ass motherfcker! What the?! That's impossible! You son of a freaking mother, I'll cut you, I'll cut you! I took this job because I thought you were just A Legend.
Just a story.
A story to scare little kids.
But you're the real deal.
The demon who dares to challenge a god.
So what the hell do you want?! Don't seem to me like you're out to make this stinkin' world a better place.
Why you gotta kill all my men? Why you gotta kill me? Nothing personal It's just revenge Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Afro!!! That was off the chain! Cold blooded! Damn Motherfcker! Excuse me for probing, but what you just did back there, was it absolutely necessary ? I'm beginning to wonder if you got any feeling for human life left in you at all! Hey, hey, hey! If you don't stop dissing me I'm gonna stop following your brutal ass around! Then, who's gonna watch your back.
Anyway I did check some Monk looking bald motherfcker in the tree chattin' on his cellie while watching your killing spree.
Don't that bother you? Sure as hell bothers me.
Yo! Yo! Hold up, hold up! Afro!!! Yo, Yo, Yo! Freakin' News just in! Huh? What the? Easy kid.
What's the problem? It's him, he's here! He's here! [Wait! What?.]
What the hell are you talkin about punk!? Ain't no doubt about it Man! Here, drink up.
He had this Afro hairdo.
You know what I'm saying? With a kind of greenish tint to it if you look real close! And he was wearing this freakin' Head Band with a number two stamped across his freakin' forehead Did you say Afro Hairdo? greenish tint? The Head Band, With a number two written across it? Make no mistake! That's him.
That's the number two.
The Afro Samurai.
THE Afro Samurai?! The one who cut down the assassins of the Western Guild? The Number 2 Swordsman of the world? He's cold-blooded, he killed the Brothers of Osara in only 5 moves.
So, don't think twice about crossing swords with that guy.
What a bunch of sissies.
Screw that, cowards! You guys just watch while I take that Number 2 Head Band That's all Bullsht, you asholes just watch I'm gonna take him out.
It's gonna be me! Let me take him baby He's all mine! Nah, I'm gonna be the Number 2! All of ya just shut up! Cause while you talk and talk and talk, my spear will be splitting his head in half.
Just like this! Hey Man! Get that rusty piece of junk out of my face, man! Maam? Yeah? Why is everyone after this? Afro Samurai? You don't know? You really must be from out of town.
We got ourselves a Legend around here.
A Legend? Look, Two Ancient Head Bands.
The Number One and the Number Two.
If you have it Number One, you're like a god.
Nobody can touch you.
Except, he who wears Number Two.
- The Trouble with that is - The Trouble with that is that anyone in the world can challenge you.
Clever boy, you're interested? The Life of Number Two? Constant combat? But ultimately, the path a warrior should take and the reward is to become a god.
Yep, they say that Number One waits at the top of Mount Shune.
You can't miss it, it's got like two huge handlike things.
Get out of my way! Take it easy Mack! You ain't the only one here who thinks they can take him.
Aaagghhh my eyes! Freakin' son of a Warmed up yet?? Hey! Hey! You wanna fight? Take it outside! Lemonade.
Ice Cold Coming right up.
2.
50, please.
Lemonade, hehehehe Hey Man! Shut the hell up! Now look what we got ourselves here.
Here you are, Lemonade.
Drink that, boy.
Hehehe You want another one? On his tab? Holy! Here you are, Lemonade.
That's gonna cost your more than 2.
50.
And I think that guy's tab has run out.
That's very cool! Oh, refreshing.
Good you'll need it.
You still got a long way to go, Number Two.
Pass the mountains by way of the Lowdown East path Beware of the Cliffs, and know that they are waiting for you.
Thanks.
Hey Afro! Yo Fro Boy! You sure that this is the right way to go? These cliffs don't look so safe, man.
And one other thing Umm, don't look now, but I think we got a stalker.
A crazy fanboy from the tea house.
And he don't want your autograph.
More like an epitaph.
Now I suggest you keep stepping because this one is a stone killer.
For real! Yo! Didn't you hear me? Get going! I'm trying to pull your coat! Oh! All you gonna do is ignore me? Alright! Alright! You wanna blow it for me and you.
Shut up.
Well fine! Go get your lank ass killed then! But don't say I didn't warn ya! Later! I am called Soshun.
I come from the land of the great weapons masters of the West.
I see you wear one of the Head Bands of Legend that leads to godhood.
So? Shall we? Afro! Don't fight this fcker! He got arrows and grenades and sht! You ain't got no chance dude! Ahhh! Is he dead? Don't tell me he's dead! Is he dead!? I asked you a question! Your jumping is only putting you directly in the line of my fire Samurai fool! Where will you go now, great Number Two Warrior? My aim is to only move forward.
Whoo! Brother! You did your thang! I thought you was dead fo' sure! Yo! My Man! III I gots to tell ya, I don't know if it's your natural pheromones, or you need a shower But Assassins are coming at us like flies on hot sht! I gots to say, there's something strange still out there.
[Cellphone ringing.]
Yes? It's me, Brother Two.
Yeah.
.
Uhu I see.
Carry on then.
And remember you are among the righteous few.
And we have placed great faith in your ability to track him.
Because the Number Two Warrior has now begun to move in earnest It seems our cherished brother's work is now Truly beginning.
The Number Two walks the path Lowdown East.
In the Great Ancestry Direction.
Our Number 2 Warrior's journey will no doubt end at the Great Valley before the high slopes of Mount Shune.
We're getting almost all the data we need.
The man named in heaven has spoken and agreed with us.
The Righteous, the Empty Seven! Watch over us, The supreme power! Let us pay homage to the holy way Let us close our eyes and feel the power.
Let the divine flow within you.
Let the holy wake all of you.
As the divine wheel has ordained.
We have risen from the ashes from this condition of oppression.
We have come across But we will seize the crown And the prophecy shall be fulfilled eye for an eye Number Two shall know no mercy at the hands of the Empty Seven.
Prepare for the Final Struggle! Freedom is in our reach! The supreme power of God .
.
shall be ours! Amen! Have you heard my Brothers!? Yes Do you hear the word? whoo! Maaan, all these killings are starting to depress me.
Know what I mean? Afro? Oh! More cold shoulder, huh? Yo Homes, you walking a little funny? What's up? Whoa! What's up? Was there something in the lemonade? Oh snap! You fcked up homes! Oh look! Oh sht! It was one of those damn arrows! Come on Afro! Snap outta of it man! Snap outta of it! He's injured, I can take him.
What? Hey, hey wait! Wait! It's too early! Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Could you give a brother a break?! Yo! Can't you see the man is down?! What about Honor, and Fairness, and sht!? Hey, is that a motherfckin' RPG?! You got a motherfckin' RPG?! An RPG in the motherfckin' backpack?! Wait, wait, wait! wait! wait! Why can't we talk about this? You're not gonna monologue or nothin' and get a bad guy speech? Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! That fool! He may have destroyed the Second Number Two Head Band as well! To Be Continue AFRO SAMURAI Subtitled for your Enjoyment by: omz007