Age Before Beauty (2018) s01e05 Episode Script

Episode 5

1 - Bel might be having an affair.
- Why would you think that? Will you let me do something Wes can't or won't do? Yeah.
Will you let me invest in the business? Whatever happened to that PT? Have you stopped seeing her? No! Yeah! Can't help wondering why my boyfriend cheated on his wife.
What about her? Has she ever cheated on you? Absolutely not.
No way.
He's cheated.
She's cheated.
It's not this perfect marriage.
So he can stop feeling guilty and end it.
LAUGHTER Mirror, mirror on the wall .
.
Who's the fairest of them all? Age before beauty? Pearls before swine? Handsome Prince Charming.
Will you be mine? R&B MUSIC PLAYS CHORUS: Are we ready, girls? Are you ready, Wes? Acting snide, took me for a ride Putting it all about Now you're caught offside, no place to hide Too bad you got found out So you're out of luck, you're all stitched up Honey, it's payback night It's the biter bit, so take that hit Don't it just serve you right? Did you really think that you could get away with it? Really think you could get away with it? Really think I wouldn't make you pay for it? Really think that you could get away with it? Did you really think that you could get away with it? Really think that you could get away with it? Really think I wouldn't make you pay for it? Really think that you could get away with it? AUDIENCE LAUGH HE BREATHES IN DEEPLY HE SIGHS - 'Sup, pal? - Oh, Jesus! Guilty conscience? Want to tell me about it? - I'm sorry.
- Hm? Ignore me.
Oh, what a nightmare, I go red just thinking about it.
Argh! - I'm so, I'm so sorry - It's fine, honestly, I'm fine.
- Let me get you a tissue.
- Really? Oh, my God! - Ugh.
- Oh, God! HE SIGHS Say it.
You absolute arsehole? You number one knob-end? I'm happy they stitched you up? You hundy p deserved it? Just don't tell Bel I know.
I swore, didn't I? Total zip-it.
You know what gets me? I was finally going to come clean and go back to her.
But now? You're pissed off because she went behind your back? I know I've no right, but Bel, of all people? - I just thought she was - What? Better than me.
OK, where were we? HE SIGHS Do you mind if we don't? OK.
Yeah, I just I want to make sure it's what you want.
And that you won't have second thoughts.
Are you kidding me? I booked the room.
And you've had a lot to drink.
And I'm not sure it's the right time.
I get it.
Here's a bint, well past her shag-by date! - 30 years since a guy's seen her naked.
- Except for Wes.
And he's no choice, we're married, so it's in the contract.
And I would love to see you naked.
OK, great.
So, let's just let's just get it over with? But I don't want to just "get it over with," Bel.
I want us to take our time.
When we make love .
.
I want it to be amazing.
So, let's wait.
Til you're really, really ready.
Oh OK? OK.
So this is just to be going on with.
I've commissioned Wes to build me a special display unit, you know, once he gets a spare minute.
- Whenever that might be.
- Well, don't you know? I don't have his schedule every minute of every day.
Weird.
Teddy and I always know what each other's up to.
But then you do have the kind of marriage the rest of us could only dream of.
Well, what can I say? Look and learn.
Remind me, do we ever get actual products? As opposed to empty bottles? It's all under control.
OK.
How to make .
.
my own .
.
beauty products.
I mean, who can be arsed with all this "trial-and-error", "create-your-own-blend" bollocks? It's all about the packaging! So, what you do is nip down t'wholesalers, bulk-buy any old face cream and whack yer own label on it.
Peasy! SHOP BELL RINGS - Hi, honey.
- Come on.
Erm, can we talk bees? - Yeah.
- Yeah? So, the good news! I'm ready to start the next phase of development.
- Of the produits.
- Uh-huh.
- Which you did say you would fund - Yeah, I did.
And as soon as you've done the business plan and mission statement.
The what? You just whizz them over and we are good to go.
Sure.
Right.
Good.
Cool.
Genius.
What? Business plan? It's never going to happen.
So you'll never have to shell out.
Maestro.
OK, break it to me.
I'm getting a Bro-zilian, right? If you insist.
We're here because there's someone I want you to meet.
Mum, this is Tyler.
So, what's your USP? - Sorry? - Mum! Well, he's never let me meet anyone before.
I'm honoured! - You must really mean a lot to him.
- I hope so.
Enough.
- Bel in? - With a client.
Can I help? Sure.
You can tell me how I went from loving the wife and feeling sorry for the girlfriend to wishing the pair of 'em would fall off a cliff! And me along with 'em! Mate, aren't you being a bit OTT? I mean, you assume that Bel knows about the bit-on-the-side And vice versa.
.
.
but you don't actually know.
Good point.
- Right, Claire, see you next week.
- Bye.
I've, er, just come to measure for Leanne's unit.
- Great.
She's in the staffroom.
- Yeah.
So here's the thing, I was thinking about fitness, y'know? - As you do! - Fitness? - PTs.
- PTs? Yeah, I wondered, what do you think about us getting fit? I mean, together? I mean, like, hiring a P and doing joint sessions? Wow, erm Can I tell you a secret? I've actually had a couple of sessions.
With your PT.
Yeah, I found her card, I called her direct, and, well, to be honest Yeah? It wasn't great.
In fact, I actually used a false name, you know, in case I didn't like her? Cos I didn't want you feeling awkward if you wanted - to carry on seeing her, so - A false name? Yeah, I mean, obviously I would've owned up - if the sessions had gone well.
- But they didn't? We just didn't click.
So I won't book her again.
How about you? No.
I think probably not.
HE CLEARS THROA VOICEMAIL: Hi, this Lorelei Bailey, PT, please leave a message.
DOOR OPENS BEHIND HIM Hey there, handsome! What can I do for you? - I just wanted to get that over with.
- She's cool.
And now do I get to meet Dad? Er yeah.
That's, er, more complicated.
It's just a sketch, but is this the sort of thing? Did you just read my mind? Hm? Don't make a habit of it! What, would I be shocked? I doubt it! Haven't we always had a "thing"? - "Thing"? - Connection? Right, well, I'll just go and get some materials.
SHE SIGHS Leanne Roxton Business Plan? Looking for short cuts? 'Scuse me? Ask someone who's had the same idea, done the research, - developed the products.
- And who would that be? Me.
20 years ago.
Remember? "Bel Finch Beauty"? All set to go.
And what happened? Well, I got pregnant.
Gave it up.
Became a mum.
Oh, my God.
How have we ever managed without you all those years! SHE SNORTS So, this guy, your dad, he never even knew you existed? Till two years ago.
And Mum was like, "Don't meet him.
" But obviously, I did.
Obviously.
And? You know the way you feel like you're some kind of freak? No.
Just me, then? So, I meet this guy, and it's like, whoa! Missing piece.
Dead supportive.
Dead discreet.
Bee'd enough to bail me out when I go shopaholic-crazy.
But then it starts to get weird.
- He, er, he asks me - What? To find him a bird.
This is Padme.
Right.
Padme's a friend, a really good friend.
She got used, as bait.
"Bait.
" So that Han could cheat on his wife, Leia.
OK.
So that Vader, my dad, could steal Leia for himself.
What the f But what you need to know is, Vader's not all bad.
Because he's worshipped Leia for, like, for ever, and he's waited his moment, and, finally, he's almost there.
But what you have to believe is, I never meant for anyone to get hurt, least of all Padme, or Leia, or Han.
And especially not you.
- Because if I'd known - How could you not know? How could you think that pimping a friend and breaking up a marriage does anything other than totally suck? I don't know what I thought.
I just wanted to impress my dad, I wanted to help him.
And cashish didn't come into it? Cashish saved my life.
I had loan sharks on the doorstep.
He literally made it all go away.
Huh! OK, now you've done the same thing.
How? You've literally made me go away.
And I don't blame you, but Ty! I've been trying to tell you this since the beauty show, - and the thing is, there's - DOOR SHUTS More.
- Teddy Bear? - Yes? Do we really need a silly business plan? It's not for my benefit.
- Oh good, so - But for yours, yes.
Because I know why you're avoiding it.
Because the scale of your ambition is so massive, you can't even admit it to yourself.
And I want you to admit it.
Because I want you to get what an awesome business brain you have, Leanne.
Oh, right.
OK, then.
I'm sorry it's all turned to shit.
For who? For both of us.
Are you comparing your two-week shag-fest with a guy you barely know with my complete and utter investment in a guy who was everything that I ever wanted? I know it was only two weeks, but it felt like the real deal.
Did he buy you bed linen? Did he buy you a Teasmade? Did he tell you you made him feel 18 again? He is 18! And he said I made him feel safe.
I thought we'd grow old together.
I felt like I'd come home.
Same.
And now I think, who was that person? Capable of wrecking someone's marriage? That person was me, and I need to wipe her out and start again.
How? - Does he know? - No-one knows.
So, you're just walking away? And never coming back? All I know is this mess, these last few months .
.
I'm I'm done with it.
- Never talk to me about it again.
Yeah? - OK.
Sure.
I won't.
Bel and Teddy? Have we been at the 'shrooms again? Oh, right, cos I'm the last person to spot the signs.
After years of trying to ignore them in my sneavy, snivey husband? Or is it because it's Bel, and she's your precious, you can't believe she'd stoop so low? Can you? How's the latest figures? - Looking healthy.
- That's good to know.
Can you get out this afternoon? I want to take you somewhere.
- DOOR OPENS - Where? - Thought about getting a mentor? - What? Someone who's been there, done that, got the clout - and can give you some advice.
- I really don't think I need Leanne.
Trust me.
You do.
Well, who? Does Teddy know you're here? Oh, bless him! He's so protective, and he always wants to be involved.
But you know how it is.
We girls need to stand on our own two feet.
Your secret's safe with me.
This is where we do the body-shaping procedures, fat harvesting, laser lipo.
Here is our hair renewal clinic.
Down there is the wellness zone.
So I get that you have ideas, ambition.
What's been holding you back? - Er, my sister.
- Oh.
She's like, oh-my-God, Miss Conservative.
Whereas me, I'm an innovator.
I'm all about the where-do-we-go-from-here? And would Teddy support you? Could he underwrite you? Because there are gaps in the market, if you know where to look.
Oh, would you happen to know of any? Well, there is something which occurs to me.
It's a new kind of concept, just taking off.
But it really requires a unique kind of vision.
In the words of Britney, hit me! Going somewhere? Picking up stock.
Heidi, take over.
Breaking news! Breaking news! Business plan, done and dusted.
Mission statement? Check.
Gap in the market? Check.
Genius idea? Check and mate.
Yeah? Maybe give it a few months? What? Just take your time.
Make sure it's really what you want.
It is! Then it'll still be there in six months' time.
And you'll be better prepped.
Trust me.
Can I pick your brains a sec? - About? - Next step.
How I play it? Do I tell Bel the truth? The whole truth? Suggest we go for counselling? Say nothing but vow to myself to never fuck up again? I mean, obviously, that's after I've called it with Lorelei.
Which I am about to do.
And, yeah, I know we've been here before but Y'know what, mate? Who am I to give advice? You give advice all the time.
Yeah, but at the end of the day, what makes me the expert? - Yeah, but - All I want is what's best for you.
And you know that better than I.
Wes.
Can you sacrifice your ear-drums for ten minutes? Of course he didn't mean it.
Ted's a clever guy, there'll be method in his madness.
What method? I dunno, like, a test? Pushing you to see how much you want it? Getting you to stand on your own two feet? Really? And you can.
You know you can.
You're tenacious.
Am I? Absolutely.
So, you believe in me? Totally.
Thank you.
Why are we here? SHE GIGGLES I feel like a teenager.
That's the idea.
This is the bench.
Which? We came here one night.
We sat right here.
- We did! Oh, my God.
- And you said - "Aren't you going to ask me out?" - And I said "I think my mate fancies you.
" And then you said "Why did you tell me that"? Why would you? Because I thought, once you knew who my mate was, you'd probably prefer him.
- So you never asked me.
- And he did.
And I said yes.
So I never knew.
If I'd had the guts to ask you first Would I have said yes? Would you? I don't know.
Maybe.
Probably.
Come on.
My friend's just had to meet a client, but we can have a look round ourselves.
No, you're right.
Business first.
So he's keen? Oh, hello, mustard? He's like, "Babe, where do I sign?" That's brilliant.
He totally gets my vision, cos I'm like "Babe, the more you look at it, "the more this business is right up my Champs Elysees!" I get to create my own unique brand and identity - And be entirely independent of your sister.
- Totes! - It's amazing.
- It's what I always thought you'd have.
Yeah, I thought so, too.
And I'm not sure anyone ever got that.
What it took for you to give up that dream.
Well, I had kids instead.
And you made it look so easy, so no-one knew.
But I knew what it cost.
Especially as you hadn't meant to get pregnant in the first place.
- Er, who told you that? - You did.
One night, you got very drunk, and said it was the worst possible timing.
Just when I was set to launch my own product range.
- But that Wes insisted - Did I really say that? You said he made it clear one of you had to stay at home.
And it sure as hell couldn't be him.
And do you know what? It couldn't.
Tyler was always tricky, Lexie was in and out of hospital.
So it did have to be me.
You've done your time, Bel.
Can't you just see yourself in charge of something like this? Eventually, yeah.
Why not now? Seriously.
Aren't you done with waiting? I know I am.
I think we just have to be realistic.
Do we? Or can we just be brave? It's not that simple.
There's other people involved.
- We'd make it work.
- How? That's not the question.
What is the question? How much do we want it? And do you have a "significant other"? No, I have a son.
- You? - Just me and my Teddy Bear.
Oh, and the business.
But good for you, having it all.
Me and my sister, it was either Domestic Drudgery or Cosmetic Bliss.
You know, I'm thinking, since we're obvy on the same wavelength, we should buddy up, you know, kick a few ideas around? Sounds interesting.
I mean, you're so out of my sister's wavelength, it's untrue! - Does it matter? - Oh, it matters.
Bel Finch, I am so going to wipe the floor with you! In other words, nothing.
No kissing, no holding hands, just walking and talking.
Walking and talking is where it all starts.
I know what I'm on about.
I won't have her be the last one to know.
It sucks.
Was I really such a shit? Oh, sack the penitence! You know what you were.
Them days, there wasn't a name for it.
Or, if there was, it was, er, more flattering.
"Sex addict" was never a compliment, only in your warped little conk! Could have walked away.
Yeah, could, woulda, shoulda.
But when you're hooked, you're fucked! Tell me about it! He'd fly through the air With the greatest of ease You knew it was me all this time and you never said anything.
What, and spare you the guilt? And 30 years of wheeling me round? Besides .
.
why spoil a good thing? When were you going to tell me? Snapchat from La Paz? So, this is it? Did you want more? No.
I feel bad about, how it all turned out.
I don't want you thinking it meant nothing.
What did it mean? You were the first time that I ever - Cheated? - Yes.
And I know that doesn't sound like much of a compliment - No, it really doesn't.
- But it kind of is.
I want you to know it wasn't just a fling.
I get it.
I think we're done here.
Goodbye, Chorlton.
Hello, Rio! Movin' on up Nothin' can stop me, yeah What are you doing? Time to break free, nothing can stop me, yeah! - Care to share? - Nah.
Except to say I have a new project.
And it's going to be totes amaze-dog! And I might never have had the balls to do it had it not been for the wisdom of Wesley, who saw in me what others were - too blind to notice.
- White Knight Wes? Who knew! Well, I think if you cast your mind back, you'll see - the seed was always there.
- The seed? Yeah, as in, always had a thing for me? As in, all know why he married Bel? - Hello? Do I need to spell it out? - Appaz.
Because he couldn't have you-know-who? Didn't you say it was the other way round? - What? How would that work? - Disney.
Saying I only married Teddy because I? - No, that he only married you because - Disney! SHOP BELL RINGS OK, so, er, what've we missed? - You tell me.
- I was just saying that Get on with your homework, Disney! What you've missed is Leanne's big news.
Listen and weep.
All right, mate? If I could just return to the matter in hand? I would like to announce to my husband that the game is up.
- Game? - I know what you were up to.
And all I can say is, mission accomplished.
This lovely man explained to me that Teddy Bear was only being mean about my business plan because he wanted me to go out and prove him wrong.
Which I just did.
- What have you said? - That she was amazing.
- Don't listen to everything he says! - Oh Why's that? DISNEY: Maybe Uncle Ted did think the plan was bobbins.
BEL SMIRKS Er? What was that little smirk? That the best you can do? - Hey! All my life, you've wanted to be me! - What? Everything I got, you had to have! Including your vivid imagination? There's nothing you've got that I couldn't have if I wanted.
Which I don't.
Not your spoilt, selfish brats.
Not your know-it-all, been-there-done-that, smug-bitch, look-who-sacrificed-their-brilliant-career- for-my-darling-kids piffle! I could've had a brilliant career if one person had believed in me, - which they didn't.
Now they do.
- Teddy believed in you.
- Teddy told me I should play it safe.
- When did I say? You told me that I didn't have a head for business.
What? You told me that I shouldn't worry about money because life's too short and who needs the stress? That's a crime? To want you to be happy? I don't want to be happy! - I want to be best! - At what? Cos we can want all we like, but if all we do is sit on our arse - and whine that no-one takes us seriously - Who's whining now? Seriously delusional! HE BLOWS WHISTLE HARD In your corners.
Now! Get your hands off me! - She started it.
- I started it? - You've always been jealous! You're having an affair! I'm what? You heard! I might've got the wrong end of the stick there, Bel.
Since when? - Isabelle! - Yeah? She kicked off.
But you should know better.
This is all your fault.
Why is it my fault? And what've I told you about stupid bloody football? Homework! Now what? Just be grateful that bae was spared this crew.
No.
I'm grateful that they were spared.
He's a head-the-ball.
He's never coming near me again.
PHONE RINGS - Guess where I am? - How are you doing? To be honest, I feel like shit.
And really, really sad.
Keep looking round and thinking, how many of these people are cheating on their partners? Even those you'd least expect.
Don't think like that.
- Does everybody cheat in the end? - No.
I don't think everyone cheats in the end.
Well, this one does.
Who does? Lols? Who does? SHE RINGS OFF NOTIFICATION TONE Oh, Christ.
PHONE RINGS - Are you all right? - Yeah.
- Are you OK? - Yeah.
- Are you sure? - Sorry.
HE SIGHS How soon could we? As soon as you like.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on! Pick up! Go away, you bastards.
I can't look old tonight! Right, so, I know I'm a fine one to talk but, er .
.
sometimes it's just not worth it.
You're right, Dad.
You're a fine one to talk.
Ted? Teddy? PHONE VIBRATES DOORBELL RINGS Oh, just answer it.
PHONE VIBRATES RINGS OFF Can it wait? Teddy'll be home soon.
We've got a lot to discuss.
Yeah, I think you have.
- Are you sure he's on his way home? - Where else would he be? - Ask your sister.
- Why would I do that? You think you're so smart? Think you know it all? I used to think like that.
Till I learnt the hard way.
What did you learn? Never take your eye off the ball.
PHONE VIBRATES For the love of God! You married her! Course I did.
How else would I get to stay in your life? AUDIBLE THROUGH PHONE: You know, on your wedding day I stood there, best man, watching you make your vows, and thinking "It's not me.
"I know it's not me, but please let her be happy.
"Let her life be full of extraordinary moments.
"Life-changing, heart-stopping ".
.
out of this world moments.
" Has it been? Sometimes.
Not for a while.
Not for a long time.
Yours? Never.
Last week, you asked me to go to bed with you.
And I said I wouldn't Thank you.
Thank you.
.
.
until it felt right.
You bastard! Because when you've waited 30 years for something Five minutes? Hear me out.
Please? You have every right to hate me.
I hate myself.
I hate what my dad's done.
But what I hate most of all is the damage I've done to all these innocent people.
- And I need to make it right.
- Whatever.
I'm telling you because, whatever you might hear, from now on .
.
I want you to know I did it for all the right reasons.
Hi, Wesley.
You probably won't remember me, I'm a friend of Lorelei's.
There is something I need to explain.
- This, this is a joke, right? - It's not a joke.
And I can prove it.
PHONE RINGS Leanne? You busy? Free as a bird.
Want to meet somewhere? - Yeah, why not? - Bar Negrito? 15? So Here we are.
Minus our partners.
Left to our own devices.
Why did you call me? I just needed to see a friendly face.
And me.
How much do you know? HE SIGHS More than enough.
Would you mind if I just went somewhere and What? Lay next to you? No.
I wouldn't mind.
I think I'd like it.
DOOR CLOSES Hi, Sheila.
This is Lorelei.
Leaving a message for Bel.
Can we meet? FIRE ALARM SOUNDS DOOR SHUTS FIRE ALARM RINGS That was amazing.
It was everything you said it would be.
- And now? - Now I need to go home.
- And tell Wes.
- Yeah.
- What will you say? SHE SIGHS That I wish I'd never met him.
That I wish you'd asked me first because then none of this would've happened.
And then you'll come back? No.
I love him.
I didn't know I did until just now.
I wish I didn't.
But I do.
Wes is having an affair.
I know.
DOOR OPENS DOOR CLOSES PHONE NOTIFICATION You have one new message.
First new message.
Hi, Sheila.
This is Lorelei.
Leaving a message for Bel.
Can we meet? WATER DRIPS CHATTER ON FIRE SERVICE RADIOS How long have you known? Ages.
You? Since the beginning.
I don't know how to even begin to tell you.
There are no words vile enough for the enormity of what I've done.
But I'd like to think not everything about me is hateful.
You're a good trainer.
Apart from that? You've made my life hell.
You took the one thing that I was absolutely sure of and you blew it apart.
So it's been really easy to hate you.
And also really hard.
In another life, I think we could be mates.
But it's this life and I want you out of it.
And I asked you here to tell you that I'm gone.
For good.
And to give you the chance to say whatever you need to say.
Do you know what? I'm done.
For what it's worth, I think he still loves you.
And probably always did.
I wish you all the best.
Thank you.
DOOR OPENS DOOR CLOSES PHONE NOTIFICATION You have one new message.
First new message.
Bel? Bel? It's me! You need to get here right now! You need to get to the salon! Which butt-wig left the wax-pot on? - Why's everyone looking at me? - Could've been a lot worse.
- Could it? - Thank God for the sprinklers.
How long do we think the repairs are going to take? Couple of weeks? Nightmare, yeah.
What are we going to do about the clients? Oh, Leanne said something, what were it? "Not to worry" and she's "got it covered"? How? LARGE VEHICLE APPROACHES Bloody hell! Oh, my God.
Well, how lucky is this? Could it have come at a better time? Tell the clients it's business as usual, just different location, conveniently situated yards from your front door.
So you would offer your premises to our clients? At a price.
On my terms.
At my convenience.
And, let's face it, Bel, it's a really generous offer given the circumstances.
What circumstances? Given that you don't have a leg to stand on.
Meanwhile, you're all twiddling your thumbs and I'm hiring.
So, who wants a job? Whoo! So, first, to Bel.
For showing me how not to do it.
Any of it.
Ever.
To Teddy.
For showing me what I can rely on and how good it feels to go it alone.
And to Wesley.
For being in exactly the right place at the right time, with the right equipment.
So, today is where it all changes.
And I would like you to all raise your glasses .
.
to me.
Bloody hell.
Cheers.
Ooh-ohh Ooh-ohh ooh-ohh Ooh-ohh Don't want this to be over Don't want this to be over, please Time goes slow-mo Don't want this to be over Don't want this to be over.