All Creatures Great and Small (2020) s01e07 Episode Script
The Night Before Christmas
1
POULTRY CHATTERING
Ah, hey.
I'm sorry to drag you all the way up here on Christmas Eve, but, well, she's swollen up that bad, she's struggling.
No trouble at all, Bert.
It's missus.
She's very worried about her and the pups.
Thanks so much for coming, James.
You're welcome, Anne.
Hello, Susie.
Good girl.
Let's take a look at you.
I hear Hulton's putting on a right proper spread at Drovers.
Listen to you.
What? What have I said now? We'll be there to celebrate Hugh and Helen's marriage.
Not line our stomachs.
Will we be seeing you there and all, Jim? No.
My mother would skin me alive if I don't make it home for Christmas.
There's no trouble here, just a big load of pups.
I wouldn't be surprised if she has them in a day or so.
I do hope she'll manage.
Ah, she'll pop 'em out no trouble at all Pop 'em out? You think that's what it takes to give birth? I think you better be off, we might be on this for a while.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! It's his exam results.
It's better to know.
Knowing whether he's passed or failed won't change it.
I don't want Christmas ruined with an unholy argument.
I thought that was the point of it.
That and the silly hats.
I never ask you for much, Mr Farnon.
All right, all right.
No need to lay it on so thick.
How do we feel about Brussels sprouts? Edward likes them.
You can't not have sprouts.
I'll get a pound.
I feel honoured you even asked.
Siegfried .
Siegfried.
Good tidings in this time of festive merriment.
- Good God, man.
- You smell like a barmaid's apron.
I've been in Broughton for the bell-ringer's Christmas celebrations.
They're enthusiastic drinkers, so spillages are inevitable, I'm afraid.
Oh, no.
It came, didn't it? Come on.
Let's get it over with.
No.
Your results must've been delayed in the Christmas post.
Oh.
I was so looking forward to having something to celebrate.
Well, let's see, shall we? DONKEY BRAYING Sprouts.
What are you eating? David.
Can you grab hold of your donkey? Otherwise Mary will be walking.
This way, Bob.
Come on.
Tristan.
Ah, Jim.
I was worried you might have decided to go home early.
Not until tomorrow.
Staying for the wedding? Or is it all too heart breaking? I couldn't be happier for Helen and Hugh.
Don't you just sound it? Still, there's always Connie to take your mind off it? That's not why I'm seeing her.
So, it's love? I'm teasing.
It's early days.
You know, I don't think I ever received a proper thanks for introducing you two.
Thank you.
Sincerely.
Don't mention it.
A good word with her friends wouldn't go amiss.
Which ones? All of them.
And make sure she invites a few to the party.
Hello, is that you over there, Maggie? Ave.
And I'll be having none of your blather, Tristan Farnon, so either buy something or get a wriggle on.
DONKEY BRAYS Don't know why you're looking at me.
It's you pair that are under it.
I'll take the whole lot.
Every last sprig.
It'll be put to good use tonight, don't you worry.
I just hope our Christmas party guests are hungry.
DOG BARKS Anything I can do, Mrs Hall? You can take them sausage rolls through for me, would you, James? There's a good lad.
Hey, Merry Christmas, Jess.
Hey.
You're incorrigible.
James, if you are to win at this game of life, you must play many hands.
Siegfried.
You look very festive.
He's Saint Nick.
Every year, he hands out oranges to the kids.
I thought he wore red and white.
Only since some blasted American drinks company told us so.
The real Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas wears green and white, and so shall I.
What's all this bloody mistletoe? It looks like Kew Gardens.
Tristan's playing the odds.
You've the morals of an alley cat.
You'll be thanking me when you find yourself underneath this with the delectable Dorothy.
Ah, you kept that to yourself.
She's Mrs Hall's guest.
Oh, really? Were you taking those plates somewhere? As for you.
If you think you're spending the evening eating, drinking and carousing, you've got another think coming.
Oh, no.
No.
Absolutely not.
Right, I'm seeing a lot of evidence of children being naughty and not a whole lot being nice.
Except David, so he gets to go first.
Come on.
Right, King Herod's best behaved.
He goes first.
I'm not Herod - I'm a wise man.
LAUGHTER Just get in there.
Hello.
Hold on.
Father Christmas just needs to oil his pipes.
No news of Edward.
It said in his letter he'd be here Christmas Eve.
After what he put you through, he'd better be grovelling on bended knee.
That's in t'past.
We're putting all of that behind us.
Just make sure you hide the silverware.
I'm sorry, Aude.
He wants to come.
That's enough for me.
BELL RINGS That could be him now.
Happy Christmas, James.
Ah, Merry Christmas, Mrs Dobson.
Helen, I didn't expect you tonight.
Siegfried as Father Christmas? I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Evening, Mr Alderson Sloe gin.
And go steady on it.
I hear you don't hold your drink so well.
From who? Hello, Jenny.
Merry Christmas, James.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Hugh.
Come on in.
Oh, I'm not staying.
I'm meeting a few chums down the Renniston.
Last night of freedom and all that.
I guess I'll see you at the church.
This time tomorrow, we'll be married.
I know.
And the rest of our lives.
Cheers.
Oh.
You're popular.
I can see Santa.
So can I.
Oh, my God, he's real with make-up.
Give Father Christmas some space, please.
OK.
I thought you'd be at home, resting up before the big day.
It's really not that big.
A Christmas Day wedding? The whole of Darrowby'll be out for it.
Especially since Hugh's put a pig on.
I'm sorry, a pig on what? Pig roast at the Drovers.
There's quite a bit of excitement over it.
Hugh didn't tell me.
Everyone'll be there.
Jim'll probably be the only one missing out.
Well, that's one less person watching me.
I'm bound to trip over and make a fool of myself.
I'm sure you'll be perfect.
I better mingle.
Siegfried impressed on me that we only invite these infernal people to drum up business.
Always full of festive spirit.
Hold up - night before her wedding, you don't want to wish her bad luck.
Oh, right, sorry.
Merry Christmas.
You too.
Oh, I got you.
Helen, love.
Come and say hello.
There she is, the blushing bride-to-be.
Congratulations.
She looks lovely, doesn't she, eh? Dad.
PHONE RINGS Darrowby, 2-2-9-7.
Hello.
How can I help? Is it Edward? Bert Chapman.
OK, Bert.
I'll be up right away.
The party's only just getting going.
I'm sorry, but I really can't stay.
You could come with me if you like? To a farm? No, no, you're right.
Stupid suggestion.
I'll be back as quick as I can.
Helen? I used to sit for hours watching it fall past my window when I was a kid.
Are you OK? Everyone wants to talk about the wedding.
I just I'd rather talk about anything but.
I sometimes wish we'd eloped, just the two of us.
No fuss, no bother.
You been called out? Going up to the Chapmans.
Suzie's having trouble with her pups.
I love Bert and Anne.
Do you mind if I come with you? I think you should probably stay and enjoy the party.
Please, James.
Anything to take my mind off it all.
Hello.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Welcome.
Merry Christmas.
Come on in.
KNOCKING AT THE DOOR Come in.
Evening.
Evening Bert, Anne.
All right, lass, what are you doing up here at this time of night? Oh, I needed to get out.
Don't blame you.
I had ants in my pants night before my wedding.
Oh, I slept like a baby.
That was the barrel of brew you had.
What else did you think we were going to make me go through with it? Hey.
Now, then, Suzie, let's see how you're doing.
How are those pups? Oh, I say, Helen.
Look at you all dolled up.
I'm just going to have a little check, Suzie.
Oh, heck, we haven't pulled you away from a party, have we? It's no trouble.
I'd rather make sure Suzie's safe and well.
What are you saying there, Jim? I don't know yet.
I'll have to have a feel inside.
Would you mind bringing me some hot water, please? No.
SUZIE WHINES How old is she now? Must be five years since you got her.
Six.
When our lass left home.
Soppy git wouldn't admit it were because he were heartbroken.
My heart is fine, thank you very much! I were glad to see the back of her.
Thanks, Bert.
All right, Suzie, I'm just going to check how you're doing.
You're all right.
That's it.
Good girl.
Good girl.
Shush.
All right.
- Hm.
- What is it? I'm afraid there's a big pup stuck fast, but I have a feeling if we can remove this chap, then the others will come away.
And they'll probably be smaller.
Try not to worry.
I'm sure we can help her get them out.
Siegfried? Siegfried? Tris? You wouldn't happen to know why James might have taken Helen out with him? The sly old dog.
James isn't sly.
Is he? It's always the quiet ones.
What's wrong? It were my fault.
And now he's poorly.
Show me where he is, David.
Holy night ♪ - Is it this chap here? - Yes.
All is calm All is bright Round yon virgin.
.
♪ He's got a poorly tummy.
DONKEY BRAYS I can see he's not well.
Let's get him inside.
Holy infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace.
.
♪ And just round here, we have a little stable.
Easy, Suzie.
Easy there, girl.
It's no good.
I can't get him free.
Is there nowt more you can do? I'll try forceps.
But if that doesn't work, we might have to take her away for a caesarean.
I told you six-year-old is too late for a first litter.
She's far from too old.
Suzie's a strong dog.
She'll be able to cope.
Won't she, James? I'm sure she will.
Will it hurt her? I'll be gentle as I can be, but I'm afraid the pup blocking the birth canal is unlikely to survive.
All right, Suzie.
Thanks.
Oh, I can hardly bear to watch.
It's bloody medieval.
That there is the reality of childbirth.
It's all right for you men.
You wait outside, smoking and drinking.
Then nurse hands you a bonnie wee baby, all cleaned up and wrapped.
That's not how they come out, you know.
Yes, yes.
No, no.
You can spare us the details, love.
I won't spare the details.
Oh! Enough, thank you, petal.
You wait.
This time next year, you'll know all about it.
Aye.
No sooner are wedding bells quiet than the sound of a baby's cry is heard.
That's what me mother always used to say.
I've nearly got it.
Keep stroking her.
Try to keep her calm.
Place your hand here.
Keep talking to her.
It'll keep her relaxed.
That's it, Suzie.
Nearly there.
James is going to look after your babies.
It's coming.
I can feel it coming towards me.
She's starting to push.
Good girl.
Good girl.
I've got it.
It's a little boy.
Why isn't he moving? Is he dead? I can feel a heartbeat.
It's very faint.
Come on, boy.
Let's get some air into your lungs.
That's all we can do.
Has he gone? Let's see if his mother can get him going.
Oh, my goodness! Hello, little fella.
Hey.
There you go, Suzie! There's your new little lad! Isn't it grand? Oh, thank you, Mr Herriot.
You had our Annie right worried there.
Well done.
You too.
I'll give Suzie some pituitrin to help her get the rest out.
I know where you, who loves a little Merry Christmas.
Siegfried, I mean.
.
Whoa.
Did I overdo it with the cologne? Depends if you're trying to attract her or fumigate her.
Nothing a spot of fresh air wouldn't fix.
Come on, you're needed outside.
It's urgent.
Could be something he's swallowed.
Has he eaten anything he shouldn't have done in the last few days? This is your donkey, isn't it? Siegfried, I think you're scaring him a little.
I'm not in the least bit scary.
Well, now, you're scaring me.
I'm simply trying to find out if this animal has ingested something that might have caused this.
It's all right, David, this is Father Christmas.
Not the real one, obviously.
you remember, inside? I didn't mean for it to happen.
Maybe I'll take care of this one.
Why on earth did you drag me out here? I don't know.
It's your patient.
Siegfried.
You seem a little agitated.
Agitated? I'm not agitated.
I'm perfectly bloody fine! DONKEY BRAYS Still no word from Edward? You know Dorothy has to go back to Scarborough tonight? Yes.
I must say that while the flesh is willing, the spirit slightly lacks.
The less I hear about your willing flesh, the better for both of us.
Go on.
There's a brave little soldier.
Excuse me.
Sorry about that.
Sick animal.
Occupational hazard.
Worse for the donkey, mind you.
My brother's taking care of it now.
Audrey told me you brought him up yourself.
Since he was 13, yes.
I won't pretend it's all been plain sailing.
A long of time spent in the doldrums, some very stormy weather along the way.
But you lashed yourself to the wheel and made something of him in the end.
One does what one can.
Your life gets bound up in theirs until they bugger off and you've got to find something new to do with yourself.
Yes, we haven't quite reached that stage with Tristan.
Won't be so bad for you.
How so? Well, you'll be able to stop being a father and start being his brother again.
It's a terrible parasite, you know.
Mistletoe.
It clings onto a tree, suffocates it, sucks the life out of it.
Interesting given its association with romance, wouldn't you say? I hadn't thought about it before.
No, not that I think it's an apt metaphor for a relationship, per se.
It's just, you know, ironic, really.
Right, I might just see if Audrey needs some help.
Yes, of course.
I've just got to go and.
.
Anyway.
DONKEY BRAYING We need to know what he's eaten so that we can make him better.
You're not going to get into any trouble.
Does he like flowers? Or berries? Can I tell you a little secret? I'm quite shy too, just like you.
It's not what my sister said.
Maggie, well she she doesn't really know me.
Beneath it all, I'm not like that.
I've just got a way to pretend.
Would you like to know how I do it? Come closer, so I can whisper.
I've got a magic mask.
And when I put it on, I can be anyone I like.
I can be funny, I can be brave, and I can talk to anyone, even though I'm very scared of the world.
Would you like to see? Yeah? See? I'm just as scared as you.
Do you want to try it on? Now, doesn't that feel better? What's his name? Bob.
And has Bob been eating something he shouldn't? Mistletoe.
Mistletoe.
Well, let's see if we can help him then, shall we? DONKEY BRAYING I think we're just about done here.
Shall we wait till the rest are born? Suzie shouldn't have any more trouble with the other pups and we should really get going.
We can't thank you enough.
No.
And we'll see you in the morning, Mrs Hulton.
Let's get you home.
That looks fair set in.
We can't drive home in this.
PHONE RINGS Edward? No, it's me.
James? Where are you? We've had a slight complication.
Helen's not still with you? She wanted something to take her mind off tomorrow.
You know I'm not one to use choice language, but what the bloody hell were you thinking? I was trying to help.
By dragging Helen all the way up to the Dales the night before her wedding? Are you on your way back? The fog's set in.
I'll try to make it back up tonight, if not, tell Mr Alderson to meet us at Skeldale in the morning.
James please tell me you're not going to do something you'll regret.
James? I've got to go.
I'll have her back in time, you have my word.
You can't see five foot in front of your face.
I'm sorry.
I should never have brought you up here.
It was my idea.
The winds might pick up.
It could clear as suddenly as it came in.
Not up here it won't.
That'll be it till morning.
What on earth was I thinking? You could blame me.
I won't need to ask anyone to do that.
I'm sorry, it's really not your fault.
It'll pass.
I know.
I know it will And even if it doesn't, there'll be time in the morning.
Your dad will bring your dress to Skeldale.
It's right by the church.
You're right.
It'll be fine.
Yeah.
Look at this one, beside himself with all the excitement.
40 year.
We didn't have a crowd of folk like you will when we got married.
Sounds perfect to me.
It were and it weren't.
Weren't many round here wanted to see a Yorkshireman marry a woman that looked like me.
But you can't help who you fall in love with.
How did you meet? I were working in service at the farmhouse.
Bert came to work as a hand.
Both of us tried to fight it.
We knew it'd cost our jobs, our friends.
It were worse for Bert, of course.
I was already an outsider.
By rights, Bert should've wanted nowt to do with me.
But love don't see with the eyes.
It comes from in here.
In the end, there's no fighting it.
Where do you get your water? I'll put us a brew on.
Pump's out back.
Does she know? Know what? It don't come along very often, even when it makes life hard.
She's marrying Hugh tomorrow.
Yet here she is, the night before her wedding, up in the high Dales with your sorry-looking face.
He should start feeling much better now.
Well done for being so brave and telling me.
Do you need your mask back? Oh, no, there's no need.
But what will you do without it? The same thing my brother did when he gave me his magical mask.
Just make a new one.
Go on back to the party.
Bob will be happy here with me.
Thank you.
Well? Mistletoe.
I've flushed him out with paraffin.
Good.
Something else? I wanted to ask your advice.
I'm sorry, you want to ask me for advice? I should've known better.
No, no, no, no.
Don't be like that.
Understand this is an entirely new state of affairs.
As you know, it's been some time since I courted, and I must admit to feeling a little ring rusty.
Will you wipe that bloody stupid smile off your face? OK, I'm trying really hard not to enjoy this.
Just tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do! - With what? - With Dorothy? Who do you think? You can stop shouting for a start.
It's ridiculous.
What's the problem? I just seem unable to initiate.
You old romantic.
All right, all right.
There's no science to it.
I tend to imagine that I'm someone they're really besotted with, and then I just, you know dive in.
Yes, I was hoping you might be able to offer me something a little more nuanced.
I'm dressed as an elf and my date for the evening is a donkey.
Let's forget we ever had this conversation.
Not a chance.
Oh, they're all so lovely.
They're so tiny.
Yeah.
That's the last of them.
He's lively.
Hear that, Bert? You can rest easy.
- What's that? - You're snoring.
I weren't snoring.
- I was heavy breathing.
- By neck it were.
Bed.
Thanks, James.
See you tomorrow.
- Goodnight.
- Thanks.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Did you see the way she was looking at him? Even when he was snoring.
They're still so Full of love.
Merry Christmas.
Loved your party.
Thanks.
Have you seen our David? In there.
Night-night.
Which hand is it in? That one.
That one.
Yay! Right, Maisy, Hattie, Elizabeth, Robert, come on.
Bye, David.
Thank you very much.
What have you got to look so happy about? Tristan made Bob better.
Did he? Come on.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Maisy.
Enjoy your orange.
Thank you.
Night-night.
Merry Christmas.
- See you later.
- Merry Christmas.
See you at church.
Night, Mrs Hall.
Night, May.
Merry Christmas.
Lovely party.
Merry Christmas.
See you at church.
I can't convince you to stay? My sister's expecting me.
You're allowed to be upset, you know? About Edward? No, I'm pleased for him.
He's probably got something much more exciting to do on Christmas Day than hang around with his mother.
He has no right punishing you like he does.
Even if you had done something, which you didn't.
He said he'd try.
There were no promises made and no-one's getting punished.
Dorothy? Dorothy? Good luck.
Be gentle with him.
Wait.
I'm sorry, I haven't been very attentive this evening, but I had a lovely time.
Yes, well, I believe I, like you.
Is it hard to imagine that I was once rather good at this sort of thing? A little.
I walked into that one, didn't I? Show me, then.
Show you what? The old Siegfried.
The one who was good at this.
What would he do if he were here? Oh, erm Probably say something to make you laugh, most likely at his own expense, the easy target, you see.
And then? And then he'd tell you that he's really rather taken with you but that some part of him is still married to someone he can't let go, but he'd like to try.
And then I suspect he'd ask if you might let him kiss you.
I'd think about it but not for long.
Wasn't so hard, was it? Maybe from where you're standing.
It was nice meeting the old Siegfried.
I'd like to see more of him.
New car? Yeah.
I decided I might be around these parts a little while, after all.
Allow me.
Edward didn't turn up.
Look after her for me, will you? No change.
Do you ever wonder what your life would've been like if you hadn't have come to Darrowby? I'd be on the docks, working as an apprentice plater.
I wanted to go to secretarial college, move into town.
But you love the Dales.
I do, but there's a big world out there.
Then my mum died.
Jenny needed me, so did dad.
Life has a funny way about it sometimes.
When I think about where I was less than a year ago.
.
I can't imagine that house without you now.
It's like you're already part of the furniture.
So much has happened.
All of it good? Most of it.
There's a few things I'd change.
Like what? I'd probably have stood up to Siegfried sooner.
I might've kept more of my clothes on that time you saw me.
I'm always careful to shout out whenever I walk that way now.
I might've told you.
What? What might you have told me? That going up to a farm in the High Dales the night before your wedding was a very bad idea.
It's probably best Hugh never finds out.
I'm not sure he'd take too kindly to it.
He won't hear it from me.
You should probably get some rest.
Big day tomorrow.
Night, James.
Goodnight.
Joy to the world The Lord is come Let Earth receive her King Let every heart Prepare Him room And Heaven and nature sing And Heaven and Heaven And nature sing.
♪ Prepare Him room And Heaven and nature sing And Heaven and Heaven And nature sing Joy to the world SHE WHIMPERS The saviour reigns Let men their songs employ While fields and floods Rocks, hills and plains Repeat the sounding joy Repeat the sounding joy.
.
♪ SHE WHIMPERS Repeat, repeat The sounding joy He rules the world With truth and grace And makes the nations prove The glories of his righteousness And wonders of his love and wonders of his love And wonders of his love.
♪ I really thought he might be ready to forgive me.
You've never actually told me what I caught him stealing from my former employer.
- He expected me to lie for him.
- Were you blamed? I told Mr Grenville what Edward had done and offered my resignation.
They they put him in Borstal for six months.
He still hates me for it.
You took me in.
No reference or explanation as to why I left my previous job.
I should've told you before.
But I couldn't stand the thought of you disapproving of me.
Oh, Mrs Hall, I don't think I ever could.
Of course, I had no real choice about offering you the job.
What, no-one else could put up with you? Exactly.
SHE CHUCKLES It's time to go.
Anything I can do to help? Stay out the way and don't touch anything.
Understood.
Shall I peel the sprouts? Oh, Edward's the only one who actually liked them.
We are not sad on Christmas Day.
Now, make yourself useful and pour us a sherry.
Righto.
No sign of James yet? He said he'd have Helen here on time.
And he will.
What about Tristan? Still in his pit, I expect.
Not as it happens.
Just been checking over our inmate, Bob the donkey.
That for me? Perfect.
Merry Christmas.
Well, let's see, shall we? Oh! Another? This arrived on Christmas Eve.
We decided to hold it back, but then I thought perhaps it might be the best present of all.
Whether you open it now or later is up to you.
- Let's wait.
- Nonsense! You passed.
- I'm sorry.
What? - Oh! I knew it! That's my boy! - You passed, little brother.
- I passed! Our father would be very proud of you, and so am I.
DOORBELL RINGS - Still no sign? - Not yet.
Come on, you.
Uh, make yourself comfortable.
- Yes.
- Right, let's hang this up, and then you can have a look at the flowers.
ENGINE STARTS AND FAILS It's no good.
I'll have to crank it by hand.
ENGINE STARTS Come on.
We've still time.
What're you grinning about? I thought today was going to be boring.
- They're here.
- Come on.
We've got your dress upstairs.
Don't panic.
There's still plenty of time.
- Thank you.
- Happy Christmas.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
I just.
.
Long night.
That's all.
You should get home to be with your mother.
I was considering staying.
Don't.
It's for the best.
Sorry, love.
I'd like you to take the Rover.
It's a long drive to Scotland.
Thank you, Siegfried.
CHURCH BELLS CHIME My little girl.
You'll be all right, won't you, Dad? Don't worry about us, love.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
.
I'll look after him.
THEY CHUCKLE Right, come on.
Let's go and get you wed.
Bloody hell.
You don't ever have to do anything for me.
We'll be all right, no matter what.
I missed it.
Oh, did you ever.
I thought you were going home.
Something inside said I should be here.
I told you I'd make a fool of myself.
Is anyone still outside? I'm sure Tristan led everyone to the Drovers.
Of course.
Hugh paid the tab in advance.
He does have an uncanny ability to sniff out a free pint.
Oh, James.
What have I done? SHE WHIMPERS Hugh didn't deserve this.
How am I going to face anyone? You didn't do this because you're cruel or unkind.
You did it because you're the opposite of those things.
That's not how it feels.
Your dad's waiting outside with Jenny.
Let's get you home.
LAUGHTER What the bloody hell do you think he was doing there all night? Not at the dinner table.
Please, Tristan.
Shush, he's coming.
James, come sit down.
We waited for you.
A hat.
He needs a hat.
Erm Here.
Did you see Helen? Her dad took her home in the truck.
Your mother weren't too upset you're not coming? I wouldn't've made it until evening.
- So, James - Lovely goose.
- I'm sorry, I can't do this - Tristan! No, I can't be the only one dying to know what on earth happened - There is a time and a place - with Suzie's puppies? What did you all think I was going to say? James? HE SNIGGERS Let's eat and don't be naughty.
Before we start, I'd like to say a few words.
- Don't roll your eyes, Tristan.
- I didn't! - You bloody did.
I saw you.
- The goose is going cold.
It's times like this which remind me how grateful I am for everything I have.
Not the practice, or the house, or the beautiful countryside, or any other thing.
It's the people.
Infuriating as you all are, I'm rather fond of you.
And, well, there's that.
So, well.
.
Merry bloody Christmas.
ALL: Merry bloody Christmas.
ON WIRELESS: And every one of us can help by making that immortal message the keystone of our daily lives.
And, so, to all of you whether at home, among your families, as we are or in hospital or at your posts carrying out duties that cannot be left undone we send our Christmas greetings and wish you under God's blessing health and prosperity in the year that lies ahead.
I'm sorry to drag you all the way up here on Christmas Eve, but, well, she's swollen up that bad, she's struggling.
No trouble at all, Bert.
It's missus.
She's very worried about her and the pups.
Thanks so much for coming, James.
You're welcome, Anne.
Hello, Susie.
Good girl.
Let's take a look at you.
I hear Hulton's putting on a right proper spread at Drovers.
Listen to you.
What? What have I said now? We'll be there to celebrate Hugh and Helen's marriage.
Not line our stomachs.
Will we be seeing you there and all, Jim? No.
My mother would skin me alive if I don't make it home for Christmas.
There's no trouble here, just a big load of pups.
I wouldn't be surprised if she has them in a day or so.
I do hope she'll manage.
Ah, she'll pop 'em out no trouble at all Pop 'em out? You think that's what it takes to give birth? I think you better be off, we might be on this for a while.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! It's his exam results.
It's better to know.
Knowing whether he's passed or failed won't change it.
I don't want Christmas ruined with an unholy argument.
I thought that was the point of it.
That and the silly hats.
I never ask you for much, Mr Farnon.
All right, all right.
No need to lay it on so thick.
How do we feel about Brussels sprouts? Edward likes them.
You can't not have sprouts.
I'll get a pound.
I feel honoured you even asked.
Siegfried .
Siegfried.
Good tidings in this time of festive merriment.
- Good God, man.
- You smell like a barmaid's apron.
I've been in Broughton for the bell-ringer's Christmas celebrations.
They're enthusiastic drinkers, so spillages are inevitable, I'm afraid.
Oh, no.
It came, didn't it? Come on.
Let's get it over with.
No.
Your results must've been delayed in the Christmas post.
Oh.
I was so looking forward to having something to celebrate.
Well, let's see, shall we? DONKEY BRAYING Sprouts.
What are you eating? David.
Can you grab hold of your donkey? Otherwise Mary will be walking.
This way, Bob.
Come on.
Tristan.
Ah, Jim.
I was worried you might have decided to go home early.
Not until tomorrow.
Staying for the wedding? Or is it all too heart breaking? I couldn't be happier for Helen and Hugh.
Don't you just sound it? Still, there's always Connie to take your mind off it? That's not why I'm seeing her.
So, it's love? I'm teasing.
It's early days.
You know, I don't think I ever received a proper thanks for introducing you two.
Thank you.
Sincerely.
Don't mention it.
A good word with her friends wouldn't go amiss.
Which ones? All of them.
And make sure she invites a few to the party.
Hello, is that you over there, Maggie? Ave.
And I'll be having none of your blather, Tristan Farnon, so either buy something or get a wriggle on.
DONKEY BRAYS Don't know why you're looking at me.
It's you pair that are under it.
I'll take the whole lot.
Every last sprig.
It'll be put to good use tonight, don't you worry.
I just hope our Christmas party guests are hungry.
DOG BARKS Anything I can do, Mrs Hall? You can take them sausage rolls through for me, would you, James? There's a good lad.
Hey, Merry Christmas, Jess.
Hey.
You're incorrigible.
James, if you are to win at this game of life, you must play many hands.
Siegfried.
You look very festive.
He's Saint Nick.
Every year, he hands out oranges to the kids.
I thought he wore red and white.
Only since some blasted American drinks company told us so.
The real Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas wears green and white, and so shall I.
What's all this bloody mistletoe? It looks like Kew Gardens.
Tristan's playing the odds.
You've the morals of an alley cat.
You'll be thanking me when you find yourself underneath this with the delectable Dorothy.
Ah, you kept that to yourself.
She's Mrs Hall's guest.
Oh, really? Were you taking those plates somewhere? As for you.
If you think you're spending the evening eating, drinking and carousing, you've got another think coming.
Oh, no.
No.
Absolutely not.
Right, I'm seeing a lot of evidence of children being naughty and not a whole lot being nice.
Except David, so he gets to go first.
Come on.
Right, King Herod's best behaved.
He goes first.
I'm not Herod - I'm a wise man.
LAUGHTER Just get in there.
Hello.
Hold on.
Father Christmas just needs to oil his pipes.
No news of Edward.
It said in his letter he'd be here Christmas Eve.
After what he put you through, he'd better be grovelling on bended knee.
That's in t'past.
We're putting all of that behind us.
Just make sure you hide the silverware.
I'm sorry, Aude.
He wants to come.
That's enough for me.
BELL RINGS That could be him now.
Happy Christmas, James.
Ah, Merry Christmas, Mrs Dobson.
Helen, I didn't expect you tonight.
Siegfried as Father Christmas? I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Evening, Mr Alderson Sloe gin.
And go steady on it.
I hear you don't hold your drink so well.
From who? Hello, Jenny.
Merry Christmas, James.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Hugh.
Come on in.
Oh, I'm not staying.
I'm meeting a few chums down the Renniston.
Last night of freedom and all that.
I guess I'll see you at the church.
This time tomorrow, we'll be married.
I know.
And the rest of our lives.
Cheers.
Oh.
You're popular.
I can see Santa.
So can I.
Oh, my God, he's real with make-up.
Give Father Christmas some space, please.
OK.
I thought you'd be at home, resting up before the big day.
It's really not that big.
A Christmas Day wedding? The whole of Darrowby'll be out for it.
Especially since Hugh's put a pig on.
I'm sorry, a pig on what? Pig roast at the Drovers.
There's quite a bit of excitement over it.
Hugh didn't tell me.
Everyone'll be there.
Jim'll probably be the only one missing out.
Well, that's one less person watching me.
I'm bound to trip over and make a fool of myself.
I'm sure you'll be perfect.
I better mingle.
Siegfried impressed on me that we only invite these infernal people to drum up business.
Always full of festive spirit.
Hold up - night before her wedding, you don't want to wish her bad luck.
Oh, right, sorry.
Merry Christmas.
You too.
Oh, I got you.
Helen, love.
Come and say hello.
There she is, the blushing bride-to-be.
Congratulations.
She looks lovely, doesn't she, eh? Dad.
PHONE RINGS Darrowby, 2-2-9-7.
Hello.
How can I help? Is it Edward? Bert Chapman.
OK, Bert.
I'll be up right away.
The party's only just getting going.
I'm sorry, but I really can't stay.
You could come with me if you like? To a farm? No, no, you're right.
Stupid suggestion.
I'll be back as quick as I can.
Helen? I used to sit for hours watching it fall past my window when I was a kid.
Are you OK? Everyone wants to talk about the wedding.
I just I'd rather talk about anything but.
I sometimes wish we'd eloped, just the two of us.
No fuss, no bother.
You been called out? Going up to the Chapmans.
Suzie's having trouble with her pups.
I love Bert and Anne.
Do you mind if I come with you? I think you should probably stay and enjoy the party.
Please, James.
Anything to take my mind off it all.
Hello.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Welcome.
Merry Christmas.
Come on in.
KNOCKING AT THE DOOR Come in.
Evening.
Evening Bert, Anne.
All right, lass, what are you doing up here at this time of night? Oh, I needed to get out.
Don't blame you.
I had ants in my pants night before my wedding.
Oh, I slept like a baby.
That was the barrel of brew you had.
What else did you think we were going to make me go through with it? Hey.
Now, then, Suzie, let's see how you're doing.
How are those pups? Oh, I say, Helen.
Look at you all dolled up.
I'm just going to have a little check, Suzie.
Oh, heck, we haven't pulled you away from a party, have we? It's no trouble.
I'd rather make sure Suzie's safe and well.
What are you saying there, Jim? I don't know yet.
I'll have to have a feel inside.
Would you mind bringing me some hot water, please? No.
SUZIE WHINES How old is she now? Must be five years since you got her.
Six.
When our lass left home.
Soppy git wouldn't admit it were because he were heartbroken.
My heart is fine, thank you very much! I were glad to see the back of her.
Thanks, Bert.
All right, Suzie, I'm just going to check how you're doing.
You're all right.
That's it.
Good girl.
Good girl.
Shush.
All right.
- Hm.
- What is it? I'm afraid there's a big pup stuck fast, but I have a feeling if we can remove this chap, then the others will come away.
And they'll probably be smaller.
Try not to worry.
I'm sure we can help her get them out.
Siegfried? Siegfried? Tris? You wouldn't happen to know why James might have taken Helen out with him? The sly old dog.
James isn't sly.
Is he? It's always the quiet ones.
What's wrong? It were my fault.
And now he's poorly.
Show me where he is, David.
Holy night ♪ - Is it this chap here? - Yes.
All is calm All is bright Round yon virgin.
.
♪ He's got a poorly tummy.
DONKEY BRAYS I can see he's not well.
Let's get him inside.
Holy infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace.
.
♪ And just round here, we have a little stable.
Easy, Suzie.
Easy there, girl.
It's no good.
I can't get him free.
Is there nowt more you can do? I'll try forceps.
But if that doesn't work, we might have to take her away for a caesarean.
I told you six-year-old is too late for a first litter.
She's far from too old.
Suzie's a strong dog.
She'll be able to cope.
Won't she, James? I'm sure she will.
Will it hurt her? I'll be gentle as I can be, but I'm afraid the pup blocking the birth canal is unlikely to survive.
All right, Suzie.
Thanks.
Oh, I can hardly bear to watch.
It's bloody medieval.
That there is the reality of childbirth.
It's all right for you men.
You wait outside, smoking and drinking.
Then nurse hands you a bonnie wee baby, all cleaned up and wrapped.
That's not how they come out, you know.
Yes, yes.
No, no.
You can spare us the details, love.
I won't spare the details.
Oh! Enough, thank you, petal.
You wait.
This time next year, you'll know all about it.
Aye.
No sooner are wedding bells quiet than the sound of a baby's cry is heard.
That's what me mother always used to say.
I've nearly got it.
Keep stroking her.
Try to keep her calm.
Place your hand here.
Keep talking to her.
It'll keep her relaxed.
That's it, Suzie.
Nearly there.
James is going to look after your babies.
It's coming.
I can feel it coming towards me.
She's starting to push.
Good girl.
Good girl.
I've got it.
It's a little boy.
Why isn't he moving? Is he dead? I can feel a heartbeat.
It's very faint.
Come on, boy.
Let's get some air into your lungs.
That's all we can do.
Has he gone? Let's see if his mother can get him going.
Oh, my goodness! Hello, little fella.
Hey.
There you go, Suzie! There's your new little lad! Isn't it grand? Oh, thank you, Mr Herriot.
You had our Annie right worried there.
Well done.
You too.
I'll give Suzie some pituitrin to help her get the rest out.
I know where you, who loves a little Merry Christmas.
Siegfried, I mean.
.
Whoa.
Did I overdo it with the cologne? Depends if you're trying to attract her or fumigate her.
Nothing a spot of fresh air wouldn't fix.
Come on, you're needed outside.
It's urgent.
Could be something he's swallowed.
Has he eaten anything he shouldn't have done in the last few days? This is your donkey, isn't it? Siegfried, I think you're scaring him a little.
I'm not in the least bit scary.
Well, now, you're scaring me.
I'm simply trying to find out if this animal has ingested something that might have caused this.
It's all right, David, this is Father Christmas.
Not the real one, obviously.
you remember, inside? I didn't mean for it to happen.
Maybe I'll take care of this one.
Why on earth did you drag me out here? I don't know.
It's your patient.
Siegfried.
You seem a little agitated.
Agitated? I'm not agitated.
I'm perfectly bloody fine! DONKEY BRAYS Still no word from Edward? You know Dorothy has to go back to Scarborough tonight? Yes.
I must say that while the flesh is willing, the spirit slightly lacks.
The less I hear about your willing flesh, the better for both of us.
Go on.
There's a brave little soldier.
Excuse me.
Sorry about that.
Sick animal.
Occupational hazard.
Worse for the donkey, mind you.
My brother's taking care of it now.
Audrey told me you brought him up yourself.
Since he was 13, yes.
I won't pretend it's all been plain sailing.
A long of time spent in the doldrums, some very stormy weather along the way.
But you lashed yourself to the wheel and made something of him in the end.
One does what one can.
Your life gets bound up in theirs until they bugger off and you've got to find something new to do with yourself.
Yes, we haven't quite reached that stage with Tristan.
Won't be so bad for you.
How so? Well, you'll be able to stop being a father and start being his brother again.
It's a terrible parasite, you know.
Mistletoe.
It clings onto a tree, suffocates it, sucks the life out of it.
Interesting given its association with romance, wouldn't you say? I hadn't thought about it before.
No, not that I think it's an apt metaphor for a relationship, per se.
It's just, you know, ironic, really.
Right, I might just see if Audrey needs some help.
Yes, of course.
I've just got to go and.
.
Anyway.
DONKEY BRAYING We need to know what he's eaten so that we can make him better.
You're not going to get into any trouble.
Does he like flowers? Or berries? Can I tell you a little secret? I'm quite shy too, just like you.
It's not what my sister said.
Maggie, well she she doesn't really know me.
Beneath it all, I'm not like that.
I've just got a way to pretend.
Would you like to know how I do it? Come closer, so I can whisper.
I've got a magic mask.
And when I put it on, I can be anyone I like.
I can be funny, I can be brave, and I can talk to anyone, even though I'm very scared of the world.
Would you like to see? Yeah? See? I'm just as scared as you.
Do you want to try it on? Now, doesn't that feel better? What's his name? Bob.
And has Bob been eating something he shouldn't? Mistletoe.
Mistletoe.
Well, let's see if we can help him then, shall we? DONKEY BRAYING I think we're just about done here.
Shall we wait till the rest are born? Suzie shouldn't have any more trouble with the other pups and we should really get going.
We can't thank you enough.
No.
And we'll see you in the morning, Mrs Hulton.
Let's get you home.
That looks fair set in.
We can't drive home in this.
PHONE RINGS Edward? No, it's me.
James? Where are you? We've had a slight complication.
Helen's not still with you? She wanted something to take her mind off tomorrow.
You know I'm not one to use choice language, but what the bloody hell were you thinking? I was trying to help.
By dragging Helen all the way up to the Dales the night before her wedding? Are you on your way back? The fog's set in.
I'll try to make it back up tonight, if not, tell Mr Alderson to meet us at Skeldale in the morning.
James please tell me you're not going to do something you'll regret.
James? I've got to go.
I'll have her back in time, you have my word.
You can't see five foot in front of your face.
I'm sorry.
I should never have brought you up here.
It was my idea.
The winds might pick up.
It could clear as suddenly as it came in.
Not up here it won't.
That'll be it till morning.
What on earth was I thinking? You could blame me.
I won't need to ask anyone to do that.
I'm sorry, it's really not your fault.
It'll pass.
I know.
I know it will And even if it doesn't, there'll be time in the morning.
Your dad will bring your dress to Skeldale.
It's right by the church.
You're right.
It'll be fine.
Yeah.
Look at this one, beside himself with all the excitement.
40 year.
We didn't have a crowd of folk like you will when we got married.
Sounds perfect to me.
It were and it weren't.
Weren't many round here wanted to see a Yorkshireman marry a woman that looked like me.
But you can't help who you fall in love with.
How did you meet? I were working in service at the farmhouse.
Bert came to work as a hand.
Both of us tried to fight it.
We knew it'd cost our jobs, our friends.
It were worse for Bert, of course.
I was already an outsider.
By rights, Bert should've wanted nowt to do with me.
But love don't see with the eyes.
It comes from in here.
In the end, there's no fighting it.
Where do you get your water? I'll put us a brew on.
Pump's out back.
Does she know? Know what? It don't come along very often, even when it makes life hard.
She's marrying Hugh tomorrow.
Yet here she is, the night before her wedding, up in the high Dales with your sorry-looking face.
He should start feeling much better now.
Well done for being so brave and telling me.
Do you need your mask back? Oh, no, there's no need.
But what will you do without it? The same thing my brother did when he gave me his magical mask.
Just make a new one.
Go on back to the party.
Bob will be happy here with me.
Thank you.
Well? Mistletoe.
I've flushed him out with paraffin.
Good.
Something else? I wanted to ask your advice.
I'm sorry, you want to ask me for advice? I should've known better.
No, no, no, no.
Don't be like that.
Understand this is an entirely new state of affairs.
As you know, it's been some time since I courted, and I must admit to feeling a little ring rusty.
Will you wipe that bloody stupid smile off your face? OK, I'm trying really hard not to enjoy this.
Just tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do! - With what? - With Dorothy? Who do you think? You can stop shouting for a start.
It's ridiculous.
What's the problem? I just seem unable to initiate.
You old romantic.
All right, all right.
There's no science to it.
I tend to imagine that I'm someone they're really besotted with, and then I just, you know dive in.
Yes, I was hoping you might be able to offer me something a little more nuanced.
I'm dressed as an elf and my date for the evening is a donkey.
Let's forget we ever had this conversation.
Not a chance.
Oh, they're all so lovely.
They're so tiny.
Yeah.
That's the last of them.
He's lively.
Hear that, Bert? You can rest easy.
- What's that? - You're snoring.
I weren't snoring.
- I was heavy breathing.
- By neck it were.
Bed.
Thanks, James.
See you tomorrow.
- Goodnight.
- Thanks.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Did you see the way she was looking at him? Even when he was snoring.
They're still so Full of love.
Merry Christmas.
Loved your party.
Thanks.
Have you seen our David? In there.
Night-night.
Which hand is it in? That one.
That one.
Yay! Right, Maisy, Hattie, Elizabeth, Robert, come on.
Bye, David.
Thank you very much.
What have you got to look so happy about? Tristan made Bob better.
Did he? Come on.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Maisy.
Enjoy your orange.
Thank you.
Night-night.
Merry Christmas.
- See you later.
- Merry Christmas.
See you at church.
Night, Mrs Hall.
Night, May.
Merry Christmas.
Lovely party.
Merry Christmas.
See you at church.
I can't convince you to stay? My sister's expecting me.
You're allowed to be upset, you know? About Edward? No, I'm pleased for him.
He's probably got something much more exciting to do on Christmas Day than hang around with his mother.
He has no right punishing you like he does.
Even if you had done something, which you didn't.
He said he'd try.
There were no promises made and no-one's getting punished.
Dorothy? Dorothy? Good luck.
Be gentle with him.
Wait.
I'm sorry, I haven't been very attentive this evening, but I had a lovely time.
Yes, well, I believe I, like you.
Is it hard to imagine that I was once rather good at this sort of thing? A little.
I walked into that one, didn't I? Show me, then.
Show you what? The old Siegfried.
The one who was good at this.
What would he do if he were here? Oh, erm Probably say something to make you laugh, most likely at his own expense, the easy target, you see.
And then? And then he'd tell you that he's really rather taken with you but that some part of him is still married to someone he can't let go, but he'd like to try.
And then I suspect he'd ask if you might let him kiss you.
I'd think about it but not for long.
Wasn't so hard, was it? Maybe from where you're standing.
It was nice meeting the old Siegfried.
I'd like to see more of him.
New car? Yeah.
I decided I might be around these parts a little while, after all.
Allow me.
Edward didn't turn up.
Look after her for me, will you? No change.
Do you ever wonder what your life would've been like if you hadn't have come to Darrowby? I'd be on the docks, working as an apprentice plater.
I wanted to go to secretarial college, move into town.
But you love the Dales.
I do, but there's a big world out there.
Then my mum died.
Jenny needed me, so did dad.
Life has a funny way about it sometimes.
When I think about where I was less than a year ago.
.
I can't imagine that house without you now.
It's like you're already part of the furniture.
So much has happened.
All of it good? Most of it.
There's a few things I'd change.
Like what? I'd probably have stood up to Siegfried sooner.
I might've kept more of my clothes on that time you saw me.
I'm always careful to shout out whenever I walk that way now.
I might've told you.
What? What might you have told me? That going up to a farm in the High Dales the night before your wedding was a very bad idea.
It's probably best Hugh never finds out.
I'm not sure he'd take too kindly to it.
He won't hear it from me.
You should probably get some rest.
Big day tomorrow.
Night, James.
Goodnight.
Joy to the world The Lord is come Let Earth receive her King Let every heart Prepare Him room And Heaven and nature sing And Heaven and Heaven And nature sing.
♪ Prepare Him room And Heaven and nature sing And Heaven and Heaven And nature sing Joy to the world SHE WHIMPERS The saviour reigns Let men their songs employ While fields and floods Rocks, hills and plains Repeat the sounding joy Repeat the sounding joy.
.
♪ SHE WHIMPERS Repeat, repeat The sounding joy He rules the world With truth and grace And makes the nations prove The glories of his righteousness And wonders of his love and wonders of his love And wonders of his love.
♪ I really thought he might be ready to forgive me.
You've never actually told me what I caught him stealing from my former employer.
- He expected me to lie for him.
- Were you blamed? I told Mr Grenville what Edward had done and offered my resignation.
They they put him in Borstal for six months.
He still hates me for it.
You took me in.
No reference or explanation as to why I left my previous job.
I should've told you before.
But I couldn't stand the thought of you disapproving of me.
Oh, Mrs Hall, I don't think I ever could.
Of course, I had no real choice about offering you the job.
What, no-one else could put up with you? Exactly.
SHE CHUCKLES It's time to go.
Anything I can do to help? Stay out the way and don't touch anything.
Understood.
Shall I peel the sprouts? Oh, Edward's the only one who actually liked them.
We are not sad on Christmas Day.
Now, make yourself useful and pour us a sherry.
Righto.
No sign of James yet? He said he'd have Helen here on time.
And he will.
What about Tristan? Still in his pit, I expect.
Not as it happens.
Just been checking over our inmate, Bob the donkey.
That for me? Perfect.
Merry Christmas.
Well, let's see, shall we? Oh! Another? This arrived on Christmas Eve.
We decided to hold it back, but then I thought perhaps it might be the best present of all.
Whether you open it now or later is up to you.
- Let's wait.
- Nonsense! You passed.
- I'm sorry.
What? - Oh! I knew it! That's my boy! - You passed, little brother.
- I passed! Our father would be very proud of you, and so am I.
DOORBELL RINGS - Still no sign? - Not yet.
Come on, you.
Uh, make yourself comfortable.
- Yes.
- Right, let's hang this up, and then you can have a look at the flowers.
ENGINE STARTS AND FAILS It's no good.
I'll have to crank it by hand.
ENGINE STARTS Come on.
We've still time.
What're you grinning about? I thought today was going to be boring.
- They're here.
- Come on.
We've got your dress upstairs.
Don't panic.
There's still plenty of time.
- Thank you.
- Happy Christmas.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
I just.
.
Long night.
That's all.
You should get home to be with your mother.
I was considering staying.
Don't.
It's for the best.
Sorry, love.
I'd like you to take the Rover.
It's a long drive to Scotland.
Thank you, Siegfried.
CHURCH BELLS CHIME My little girl.
You'll be all right, won't you, Dad? Don't worry about us, love.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
.
I'll look after him.
THEY CHUCKLE Right, come on.
Let's go and get you wed.
Bloody hell.
You don't ever have to do anything for me.
We'll be all right, no matter what.
I missed it.
Oh, did you ever.
I thought you were going home.
Something inside said I should be here.
I told you I'd make a fool of myself.
Is anyone still outside? I'm sure Tristan led everyone to the Drovers.
Of course.
Hugh paid the tab in advance.
He does have an uncanny ability to sniff out a free pint.
Oh, James.
What have I done? SHE WHIMPERS Hugh didn't deserve this.
How am I going to face anyone? You didn't do this because you're cruel or unkind.
You did it because you're the opposite of those things.
That's not how it feels.
Your dad's waiting outside with Jenny.
Let's get you home.
LAUGHTER What the bloody hell do you think he was doing there all night? Not at the dinner table.
Please, Tristan.
Shush, he's coming.
James, come sit down.
We waited for you.
A hat.
He needs a hat.
Erm Here.
Did you see Helen? Her dad took her home in the truck.
Your mother weren't too upset you're not coming? I wouldn't've made it until evening.
- So, James - Lovely goose.
- I'm sorry, I can't do this - Tristan! No, I can't be the only one dying to know what on earth happened - There is a time and a place - with Suzie's puppies? What did you all think I was going to say? James? HE SNIGGERS Let's eat and don't be naughty.
Before we start, I'd like to say a few words.
- Don't roll your eyes, Tristan.
- I didn't! - You bloody did.
I saw you.
- The goose is going cold.
It's times like this which remind me how grateful I am for everything I have.
Not the practice, or the house, or the beautiful countryside, or any other thing.
It's the people.
Infuriating as you all are, I'm rather fond of you.
And, well, there's that.
So, well.
.
Merry bloody Christmas.
ALL: Merry bloody Christmas.
ON WIRELESS: And every one of us can help by making that immortal message the keystone of our daily lives.
And, so, to all of you whether at home, among your families, as we are or in hospital or at your posts carrying out duties that cannot be left undone we send our Christmas greetings and wish you under God's blessing health and prosperity in the year that lies ahead.