All Hail King Julien (2014) s02e02 Episode Script

Diapers Are The New Black

Season2 Episode2 "Diapers Are The New Black" Okay, let's move into our next pose, downward-facing foosa.
It's like I've become one with the universe.
Hey, universe 'sup? Hi.
Mort! You're harshing my chi! What was that? I'm Okay! What is this? OMG! I've heard of these.
They're called diapers.
diapers? All the kids are wearing them these days.
Huh? Really? So diapers are young and hip? Like me? What do we do with all of them? There's gotta be hundreds! Look at the little duckies, Maurice! How adorable.
Help me put it on.
Hurry! I think it goes-- How about-- Or maybe-- That can't be right.
Oh! That's it! Handsome party of one, your diaper's ready! Maurice, tell me the truth.
Does this diaper make my butt look big? It makes your butt Look the perfect size, King Julien.
No, wait, your butt was already the perfect size.
But this looks nice, too! And not better! Both are good! No! Great! Both are great! Don't tell me what to say, I'll say it! You look totes adorbs! Yeah, totes magotes.
I do, don't I? Yes.
Someone looks good.
Super cute.
Where can I get a pair? Oh, my! Do you see what's happening here? It is slimming.
isn't it? Keep this up and you could become a trendsetter, or even a fashion icon! Ooh! A fashion icon! Yes! I will bring fashion to my people, and teach them how to look fabulous like me.
They'll love it! And I'll become the most fashionable king in history! l can see it now! "KING JULIEN XIII THE MOST FASHIOHABLE KING IN THE HISTORY OF SUCH THINGS" "I CAME I SAW I CLOTHED" King Julien! In order to become a fashion icon, I must have fashion followers.
Hencetofore(from now on), everyone shall wear diapers.
What are you gonna do? Force everyone to wear one of these? I won't have to.
If I wear it, they will, too.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Mort, would you like to wear a diaper? If it means I can be more like you, Yes! Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! I just need a way to showcase the diapers.
Wait a minute.
My brain is cooking something.
Ding! It's ready.
Check it.
I will invent a brand-new thing and call it a fashion show! Mort! What part of "more sparkles" don't you understand? Cannonball! Why are we all here? I feel a fear tinkle coming on.
What's going on? Why all the secrecy? You'll see.
Lemurs of Madagascar! May I have your attention, please? Why does he do this? King Julien asked me to say a few words to kick off this historic event.
So, without further ado, let's start the show.
Hit it! DJ Glitter-Bunz, Drop the beat, son! #Ready, set, pose# #Ready, stop, pose# #Switch, ready, set, pose# #That's a wrap# #Strike a pose# KJ! #Get the money# #Rock and roll# #Got to shine# #Night is mine# #Now it's time we lose control# #Cameras can't handle us# #We're glamorous.
# #Beautiful, fix your face# #Look this way# #Okay, baby, now pose# #I'm gonna make you lose control # #Make you lose control# #I'm gonna make you lose control.
# #Ready, got to give it what you got.
# #Camera flashing# #You're the star of the show# #Now ready, set, pose# #Take a flick# #You need to do it like this # #This is my regular day# #Everybody in the place# #Want to party with me# #Got the paparazzi in front of my home# #And they just won't leave me alone# #Ready to go, on my phone# #Or the cover of Vogue# #Ready, set, pose# #Ready, stop, pose# #Switch, ready, set, pose# #This is how you do, baby# #This is your runway# #Cut# Tres chic! Step right up! Get your KJ Original Diapers! I'll take a medium! I need a medium! I didn't get one! There aren't enough for everybody! That's what makes them so desirable.
Isn't fashion wonderful? Fashion! Diapers make me feel beautiful! Oh! And they are terrific for storage.
Look! Where do I put my banana? Look at her! She s not wearing a diaper! That is disgusting, Willie.
Please.
don't look at me.
I'm hideous! Hey, out of my way, No Pants! Just get to the side! It's mine.
That's my-- Get off of that! All right, everyone, that's enough! Everyone needs to calm down! Help! I've been robbed! Someone stole my diaper! I bet he did it! I don't want your stinking diaper! We're all going to be robbed! Oh, no! King Julien, I-- Clover, what do you think you're doing? -Reporting a-- -No, where's your diaper? You're very lucky I saved one for you.
Thank you, Your Majesty, but I respectfully decline.
I, uh, respectfully don't care.
-Back me up here? -Don't look at Maurice! He has already backed himself up into a KJ Original Diaper.
And you should, too.
King Julien's right.
Try it, Clover.
It's doing wonders for my lower back pain and my tail sweat.
It's like I have a sponge between my legs.
A sponge made by an absorbent angel.
Okay.
I feel ridiculous.
Well, you look ri-fabulous! -I can't move in this thing.
-Fashion comes first.
-What about safety? -safety is eighth, at most.
No way! How can I monitor the kingdom and keep you safe wearing this? Tensions are running high.
There was a fight and a thief on the loose! A thief? Someone stole Horton's diaper.
Swiped it right off of him! Terrible and Great! If people are willing to steal to get a KJ Original Diaper then I'm on my way to becoming the most fashionable king in history! Ha-ha! "Diaper me!" Please welcome King Julien! "APPLAUSE" -We want diapers! -King Julien, can I have a diaper? Diaper me! Diaper me! Hello, everyone! Yes, I know you adore me.
Hello.
Hello.
Just a-- Almost got it.
Here we go.
Thank you so much for joining me today.
First of all, who are you wearing? Me! Of course! Of course! Oh, speaking of you, can you tell us about your inspiration for the diapers? what can I say, Xixi? I am a genius.
Inspired ideas are just what I do.
And what kind of statement are you making with them? You know, too often we are led to believe that who we are on the inside is what's is important.
What KJ line of diapers is saying is, Bunch of bones and squishy stuff.
You are who you wear, people.
And anybody who's somebody is wearing a KJ Original Diaper! I want to be somebody.
You don't have a diaper! You are nobody! Oh, boy.
That's not what I- What I mean-- Without the diaper I'd feel like, you know, one of those little pieces of food that gets stuck in your teeth, you don't know.
it's there until someone sees it, like, Oh Yuck, you got something in your teeth! And you dig it out and flick it away, because you know, it's just gross.
Yeah-- - They're all nobodies! -They want our diapers! Wait a second.
Okay We have to take a short break.
We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
Word? What do they mean? Sometimes I like to say them soft.
Sometimes I like to say them crazy.
Sometimes I like to say random words.
Cabbage, spinach, weed wacker.
Large, small person.
I don't make up the rules.
I just wear the diapers.
KJ Original Diapers.
Indubitably.
Oh! What did I say? What? In a nutshell, you said lemurs with diapers are better than lemurs without diapers.
I run a transparent kingdom, Maurice.
My peoples deserve to hear the truth.
- It was the platform I was elected on.
- You weren't elected.
King Julien, I caught the diaper thief.
-It was Mort! It wasn't me, King Julien.
I'm innocent.
Innocent! Mort.
Show his bottom to me! -That's not my logo.
-What? You're right.
How could I miss this? Don't worry, King Julien, I'll find the mugger.
Wait minute.
Who care's about the mugger? How can I be the most fashionable king in history if someone is tarnishing my name with KJ impostor diapers? Clover find that he knows.
You gonna tell me where you got the diaper? What diaper? Don't play games with me, Mort.
I am good cop and bad cop all rolled into one terrifying law enforcement burrito of pain! Here you go, little guy.
You must be so hungry.
Go ahead.
Eat up.
There's more where that came from.
I just need you to tell me what you know.
I don't know anything! I'll ask you one more time! Where did you get the diaper? Okay, I'll talk! I got it from a guy who works for a guy who makes the diapers.
-I need names, Mort! -I don't know his name! But I know where to find him.
Mm?Hm! Remember, try to act normal.
Okay.
Or as close to normal as you get.
The mic is in the front, so position yourself to pick up what he's saying.
And remember I need names, Mort! Hi! I'm Mort.
What's your name? Beat it, buddy.
I don't suppose you know where I can score a diaper?! On the DL? Hm? You a cop? Me a cop? No way! Look, I'm all out.
You gotta talk to my suppliers.
Uh, who's that? Can you say that again, but louder, and into my diaper? Got ya! Hi, Dorothy.
Clover.
What a surprise! Come in, come in.
Hm.
Perfect timing! I just made quiche.
Oh, you've got to try it.
It's out of this world! I'm sorry about the mess.
Can I get you a refreshment? No, thanks.
I won't be staying long.
Just wanted to ask you a few questions about the impostor diapers that have been going around.
Impostor diapers? We don't know anything about that.
That's what I thought.
Well, sorry to bother you.
Not at all.
Sure you don't want to stay for some quiche? No, thanks, I don't eat quiche with criminals! Hm? Oh! So there's nothing there.
Um-- Sorry, but that must mean that there's something in here! Hm.
Is everything okay, Clover? Uh-huh.
Sure.
Yeah.
Totally fine.
I should go into-- Why do all these rooms look the same? Sorry about the doors, Guess my intel was a bit, um off.
Huh? Ah-ha! It's the po-po, boys! Scatter! I am very disappointed in you two.
We were only trying to make diapers available to everyone.
We saw a need and tried to fill it.
Well, you have to stop filling it! It's a trademark violation and, more importantly, I don't like it.
But, King Julien, imitation is the highest form of flattery.
Uh, no! Excessive flattery is the highest form of flattery.
Imitation is just lazy.
No more impostor diapers! You may go.
Problem solved.
Good work, Clover.
Thank you, Your Majesty.
Who did that? - Yeah! - Yeah! Whoo! What is the meaning of this? I thought I said no more diapers! Well not actually you said we couldn't make impostor diapers, You don't say anything about starting a ready-to-wear line with a completely original design.
Not that hoity-toity high fashion stuff you make.
No, but that-- Okay, you got me there, Ted.
But there's only room for one fashion icon in this jungle.
This means war.
Xixi here with some breaking news.
I'm getting reports that an all-out fashion war was declared earlier today between fashion-forward KJ Original Diapers and recent rival, D+T Diapers.
Let's go live to the scene.
Tell us about your new design.
It's called an animal print.
Ha! That's no animal I've ever seen.
Check this out! Hmm? Wha-- Well, it's clear the diapers are on and the gloves are off, leaving the public to wonder, who will win this fashion showdown.
I know one thing's for sure.
War has never looked so good.
I think we may have let this fashion thing go too far.
I disagree! But King Julien, it's tearing the kingdom apart! Surely there's enough pillowy soft absorbency for everyone to stay fashionably dry, not just a select few.
Quiet, Maurice.
I'm trying think of a new diaper designs I can feel-- It's Mort.
He's hurt real bad.
What happened to him? He was trampled trying to get a KJ Original Diaper.
Speak to me.
King Julien, is that you? Yes, it's me.
I'm here.
I always hoped it would end this way.
Me in your arms! -He's so-- Mort-- -I know our'-- -If I could just- No! Mort! Oh! He's so cold, Maurice.
You're wrong, Maurice.
There isn't enough pillowy soft absorbency for everyone.
We aren't all equal! Your Majesty, you don't really believe that.
Silence! I know how to end this war.
Right now I need to say go goodbye to a patriot.
Oh, Mort, I know our relationship was complicated by the fact that you were strange and annoying and inferior to me in every way.
But if I could just speak to you one more time I would tell you all the things I never had the courage to tell you when you were alive.
What'd you tell me? It's alive! We'll talk later! Oh! Xixi, we're live.
Xixi here with some breaking news.
King Julien has just announced that he will be putting on a new fashion show.
King Julien, any deets to share? Nope.
No deets, Xixi.
It's going to be a surprise.
That's it.
You heard it here first, folks.
Fasten your diapers, it's going to be a dumpy night.
@(@All About Eve?) Feast your eyes on this! Oh, yeah.
That's right! 100 percent, Grade A, certified King Julien! He's not wearing any pants! My eyes! Ugh! That's not fashion, that's obscene! Let me tell you something about fashion, Ted, and everybody! I said before that you are who you wear and anybody who's somebody is wearing a KJ Original Diaper.
Well, let me tell you now, fashion isn't about who you wear.
Yeah! You-- Wait.
What? It's not? No! It's about who you are.
Well said, Your Majesty! And while I'm king who's fabulous all the time, you are all just you.
Andand you are fabulous none of the time! No matter what you wear! Huh? He just had to keep talking.
But that's okay.
Stop trying to be something you are not, and just be you.
Take off those diapers right now! Go on! Rip those puppies(poopy?) off! I want to be me! Yuck! Yeah! Yeah! That's right! Be boring and the same! Be free! Uh-oh.
That's a lot of-- Incoming! I'm glad to be rid of that diaper.
It was giving me a terrible rash.
I got one! Oh, Mort, that was so five minutes ago.

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