All Hail King Julien (2014) s02e03 Episode Script

Crimson and Clover

Season2 Episode3 "Crimson and Clover" Uh, Clover, what are you-- Look at Maur-- Seriously, Clover, what is going on here? All right, that's enough! I never get to have any fun.
What is going on here? Enough! Your Majesty, I'm Clover, which makes her Your clone! My twin sister.
I knew something was off.
She was fun and playful, and not all jumpy and angry and dead inside and -- Okay! We get it.
This space is great.
You have this perfect stretch of floor.
Grease this bad boy up, boom! You've got a spontaneous party! -Woot-woot! -Woot-woot is right.
Slippery floor thing is totally blowing my mind-brain continuum.
What are you doing here? Crimson.
Need me to bail you out of a jam? I'm actually here to see my sister who is too busy to write or visit me.
How can write or visit when you don't have a permanent address? You're supposed to be this insane secret agent chick.
You could totally find me if you wanted to.
Can you, King Julien, can we take this offline for a moment? I have no idea what that means, so I will say yes.
My sister has to leave immediately.
Why am I getting the feeling you two don't get along? Quick follow-up.
Why don't you have a delicious accent like your sister? -I have the same accent.
-You have an accent? Your Majesty.
Crimson is bad news.
She's careless, selfish.
Leaves a trail of destruction everywhere she goes.
And then, when there's no more damage to be done, she moves on.
Is this a bad time to say I think we should break up? It's not you, it's me.
Good talk.
Boring.
-'Sup? -Hm? Mm! So you're saying she's single? Argh! You have to promise you won't let her stay! Okay, fine.
I promise.
Wow, they look happy.
King Julien! This is not safe! You need to land that thing right now! Sorry, Clover, I can't hear you over all my laughter and screaming and sense of child-like wonder! -Are you ready? -Light 'em up! What is wrong with you two? Stop it, right now! Oh, no.
No, no, no! Oh, yes! Hey, watch-- Not the money maker! Watch out, Brangelina.
There's a hot new "it" couple, King Julien and Crimson.
Or "Cring Msulien" as those us in the media have started calling them.
Oh! Look at 'em go! Uh! Argh! What you think of Royal Navy? Oh, It's gorgeous! And fragrant.
Yes.
I wanted this night to be special.
So I had them put in a fresh urinal cake.
It's perfect.
I am the king of a medium-sized tribe of lemurs on the island of Madagascar! Oh, man, this view is amazing! Why, thank you.
You're not even looking at my best side-- Oh! You mean the stars! Yeah.
Sometimes I look out and realize just how insignificant one lemur is in the grand scheme of things.
Then I remember I'm the king and if aliens ever invaded they'd have to do what I tell them.
I have been having loads of fun with you.
Not many lemurs are as wild and adventurous as you.
Yeah.
Everyone else I know has way too much common sense to do the stuff we did today.
I've finally found someone who is crazier and more ridiculous than me.
Aw! You're so sweet.
And I had no idea you were a musician.
Uh, uh, uh! We prefer the term "musical genius".
Of course, I can't take all the credit.
I'm really just a vessel for the sky gods to speak through.
No--That's enough out of you! Ouch! Rub some dirt on it, Willie! Now, where were we? Ah! -Hm? -Hm? Just pretend I'm not even here and get to smooching.
-Here we go! -Oh! Oh, yeah! Crimson, my old arch-nemesis.
I've been waiting for you.
Nice monocle.
I'll get right to it.
It's been great catching up with you, and I'm sure you had fun endangering the King the past few days.
But it's time for you to leave.
Oh, Clo-Clo, we're sisters.
Can't we forget about the past and how you're always jealous of me? Oh, oh, I'm always jealous of you? I graduated at the top of my academy class.
I work for the king.
And somehow I'm still mum and dad's favorite.
Super weird, huh? What? No, that is utterly ridiculous! Why, did they say something? Oh! Almost forgot.
Good news.
K.
J.
invited me to hang out as long as I want.
You're cool with that, right? How much longer do you plan to assault this innocent lumber? I haven't been at it that long.
Ow! Splinters.
Really? I understand how you are feeling.
I did not get along with my sister.
Mostly because when I was a baby, she tried to eat me.
First off, yikes! Second, what did you do? We talked it out, settled our differences.
Then I ate her.
You ate her? Law of the jungle.
Like, really ate her? Yum.
Oh, that's -- No, stop, I -- Not a cannibal, okay? Fine.
You want my advice? You said your sister never stays in one place.
Perhaps the best thing you can do right now is to wait for her to get bored and move on.
Oh Well, okay, yeah.
That's actually good advice.
And if that doesn't work, you can eat her.
Look at me! I'm a termite! Yeah! Welcome back to my exclusive interview with celebrity "it" couple, Cring Msulien.
So.
I have to ask because my viewers are dying to know.
What does the future hold for Cring Msulien? I don't know.
You have to ask my psychic lizard.
Guess I walked right into that one.
Isn't he the best? Aw.
They're just rubbing everybody's faces in it.
They seem happy.
I don't get why you're upset.
The last thing the king needs is someone encouraging him to be less safe and responsible.
I don't disagree.
But Masikura is right.
One of them will get bored sooner or later.
I say we wait and see if this runs its course.
I've never been one to make plans, but I just know I'm crazy about this guy! Yeah, baby! Aw.
And this is how I feel about her.
Help! Somebody help me! So, does this mean we may soon be hearing wedding bells a-ring-a-ding-a-dinging? Uh It would be a little crazy to just, like, jump into it so soon is something a boring person would say! Yeah, totally! But lemurs like us live on the edge.
Are you saying that you want to get married? Are you saying you want to? 'Cause I'm an impulsive madman! I'll do it right now! Not if I do it first.
King Julien Xlll, let's get hitched.
You heard it here first, folks.
Bring on the wall-to-wall royal wedding coverage and commemorative plate sets.
All right! I love it! I love a wedding! What was that? I know, right? My peoples were loving it out there! Do you have any idea what you're getting into? Yeah.
What's the big deal? Lots of idiots get married all the time.
I want to thank you all for coming to our engagement party.
This wedding is gonna pretty sick, so it's a big honor for you.
Maurice, you're going to be my Best Lemur.
That means a lot, Your Majesty.
Don't get a big head about it.
Xixi, since Clover's being weird, you're the Maid of Honor.
Oh! Masikura, you'll be getting us hitched.
Woo-hoo.
And last but certainly also least, Mort, you're the flower girl.
I've got the perfect wig.
Don't look now, but the mean one's here.
Golly, K.
J.
we're late for our appointment with the wedding planners.
Duty calls! Cring Msulien out.
Have you thought of starting a family yet? I have a ton of great royal baby names.
Look at them.
Carefree and laughing.
It makes you sick! Are you sure you're not just please don't hurt me for saying this, jealous the king is about to marry your twin sister? jealous!? Denial ain't just a river (@Mark Twain) I heard about once, apparently.
Just saying, you work closely with someone and become friends, sometimes feelings develop.
Oh, yeah.
Been there! Don't flatter yourself, Maurice.
I might feel a bit better if I break into her bed chambers and do a thorough search.
I'll make sure everything's on up and up.
Clover, you're sounding a little crazy.
Crazy? I sound crazy? You haven't seen crazy yet! I'm actually kind of seeing it right now.
All right, all right! We are just pleased as punch to be planning the big royal wedding.
How are we coming on the ice sculptures? Tell me you've got good news.
This wedding has to be perfect! Well, darn it all if they don't keep melting in this.
Sticky jungle heat.
Aw, I really wanted those icy sculptie-wulpties.
Ted! Dorothy! Get it together.
This is supposed to be my ultimate dream wedding.
If it falls short of my unrealistic expectations, I'm gonna throw a fit! I'm falling! Ooh, I'm loving these flowers.
The pink really matches the royal eyes.
Are those rosy periwinkles? Well, yeah.
Are you allergic? Yes.
To how awful they look.
Yeah, I hate 'em now, too! Get them out of my face! I love what you guys have done here.
Oh, it's exactly what I asked for.
But maybe if you could just change everything, it would be even better.
You heard the lady.
Stop wiping your heinies on my dream wedding! Hm! Hm! What is this? Teak?(take?) Oh.
Whoopsie-doodle.
I'll pick that up, Your Majesty.
Don't you dare pick that up, Ted! That chair is exactly where it belongs.
In the dirt! Oh, Julien.
I've never seen this side of you.
Hope I didn't scare you.
Being around all these flower arrangement and fabric swatches really brings out the alpha male in me.
Oh, baby Ju-Ju, I just 'cannot wait to be married to you forever.
For ever? You are hereby sentenced to marriage! Without parole.
Dead man walking! Forever Forever Forever Wow.
Forever It's a goodly amount of time.
Is it always forever? Is that, like, a rule? Mm-hmm.
Can't we just flip on the lights? You know nothing about clandestine investigations, Maurice.
Yeah! I can't believe let you talk me into this.
I never imagined she'd intentionally harm King Julien, but this looks bad.
Maybe she just likes to whittle.
Poison? Okay, that might be something.
"I can't wait to marry King Julien so I can kill him!" Whoa! Maybe she is trying to hurt King Julien.
Who's trying to hurt me? Your Majesty, although it pains me to say this -- Not really, but whatever, --my sister means to harm you.
Ooh! I can explain all of those.
Clearly, this knife is meant for slashing and slicing our wedding cake.
Yeah, it's for the cake at the wedding.
I'm totally not having second thoughts about all.
And this.
You probably think it's poison, am I right? Mostly because it literally says "poison" on the bottle.
Yes.
Poison, for him.
Is the hottest cologne on the mainland.
Made by extracting milk from a rare eagle.
Oh, I didn't know you could milk an eagle.
Yeah.
Most eagles would like to keep it that way.
Your confession.
Right here writing.
"Can't wait to marry King Julien so I can kill him!" That's not normal, right? I'm asking because I know nothing about marriage.
Your Majesty, if you're having cold feet-- Turn it over.
"with kindness and smother him with love because he is my Schmoopy Bear.
" Okay, that's actually sort of sweet.
But it doesn't prove anything! You cannot marry her, King Julien.
I know, right? I mean, don't tell me what to do, Clover! I'm trying to save you, Your Majesty, from making a horrible mistake.
I can get married to who I want and when I want and to as many lemurs as I want! Actually, you can only marry one lemur.
Holy cow! I seriously don't know anything about marriage, you guys.
All the more proof that I am right and this wedding is an incredibly stupid idea! I cannot support it.
Oh, oh! Now you done did it! You are officially uninvited from the hottest wedding of the season! A royal wedding.
An event that comes but once every five to seven months, depending on food supply and predator mating habits.
I'm Xixi, and I'll be here with you for every bow, every vow, and every couldn't come up with a third word that rhymes.
I'm sorry Clover couldn't make it.
Yeah, but I feel her presence.
Probably because she's still required to be here for security purposes.
I'm not pointing fingers and I'm not mad, but why didn't you tell me marriage was forever before you talked me into getting married? I didn't talk you into getting.
It was your idea! Maurice, when you point the one finger, there are like three other fingers pointing back at you, which proves this is all your fault! Times three! Look at what a mess I am.
I always cry at weddings.
And honeymoons.
Remember that? Your Majesty, it is time.
Maurice! That's the cue for your big musical moment.
Will you do the honors? Ah-ha! Me me me me meô I wish to welcome you all, Friends, families, foosa decoys.
as we join King Julien XIII and Crimson together in a partnership that will last forever.
Ow! There's that word again.
Eh Listen, Masikura, when you say, "Forever"-- The two of you will sacrifice your individual wants and needs and become one.
You will share everything, shedding your own identity to the point of becoming almost unrecognizable.
Julien? What? I'm cool.
Let the second lemur martial ritual begin! Whoa whoa whoa.
Aren't you supposed to see if anyone objects? This is not part of the traditional ceremony.
If anyone has any objection to this marriage, now's your chance to speak up! What are you doing, Schmoopy Bear? Anybody at all! It doesn't even have to be a great reason.
With that out of the way.
let us-- I object, Your Honor! What? Say what? Crimson, I'm crazy about you.
and you're everything I ever wanted in a lady lemur.
But I can't get married to you because I've been having an affair! Oh, my gosh! With whom? With my kingdom.
What? I don't understand.
That's right, everybody.
I love you guys! So, You know.
thanks for ruining my wedding.
It's so sweet.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa! You're just choosing to tell me this now? Yeah the timing is a little not good, I agree.
We're cool though, right? You're better at reading people than me.
Does she seem upset? Mm-hmm.
Crimson! Where are you going? Wait up! Folks, there's a nice cocktail hour in the reception area.
Finger foods, drinks, and the musical stylings of D.
J.
Glitter-Bunz! Oh yeah, it's me, D.
J.
Glitter-Bunz, on the ones and twos, y'all.
I spin mostly house music with a lit-lit-little progressive trance.
And I don't take requests, so don't even try it.
What, what! I guess you're pretty mad at me.
Probably not as mad as the kingdom's gonna be when they realize I sunk all our resources into a wedding a [back .]
You did what? Oh, hey.
Clover.
Has anyone ever told you, you look a lot like your identical twin sister? -Where is she? -She's gone.
I was afraid of that.
I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm bit of a screw-up sometimes.
It's my fault, too.
I shouldn't have meddled with your relationship.
I let my sibling rivalry get the best of me.
Are you sure that's all it was? Yes.
Okay, cool.
-I'll go find Crimson and bring her back.
- No need.
I'm a hard habit to kick, baby.
She'll be back.
She'll be back.
He stomped my heart.
Humiliated me.
But I'll get my revenge.
I'll have the last laugh.
I came to you because after what King Julien did to me we share a common interest.
We both want King Julien dead.
Dead, exiled, whatever it takes to get my butt back on that throne.
All right, you have a deal.
Pleasure to be in business with you.
Brilliant.
Crimson, with your "evil" British accent, I'm sure they won't have any trouble telling you apart from your sister.
My sister has the same accent.
Stop the candy maker! Clover has an accent?
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